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this makes me very sad... It sounds like you settled for less than you wanted out of a relationship because you thought you didn't deserve better because of your looks... If you are with a man who treats you like that, he will treat you like that whether you are fat or skinny. My husband treats me the same whether I'm skinny or fat, people told me sometimes what a good husband I had because he didn't care about the weight gain and loved me the same? I would think what the hell? so he's a saint for staying with me? No he is a man who loves his wife and I love him and we made a commitment for life. To be side by side through all of our changes. Me being fat or him losing hair has no bearing on the core relationship. Please know that you need to stop selling yourself short and you are much more than just your outward appearance.
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don't think I should be able to eat...
Linda 66 posted a topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Sleeved 3/19/13 I know everyone is different, I reason these boards about people puking almost everyday or how they can't eat this or that. I'm almost 2 months post op and I can eat everything I've attempted...salad, raw veggies like carrots, a whole slice of pizza (not the crust) at a party. I don't have to sip sip sip I can drink like I used to pre surgery. I have to be completely honest here, I feel like I'm actually on a diet not that I had surgery because I have to control myself not to go for another 1/2 slice of pizza ** btw, I'm not a pizza person but I know I'd be capable of eating more than a slice if I wanted to*** I feel like its diet control not surgery control. I hope I'm explaining myself well. Also, I often feel hungry especially in bed at night. I spoke to my nut last month and she thinks I'm doing well, but I read others on here and I'm like...how come I can eat? I know some may say..."hey don't complain", but this makes me think as months move on it'll be easier still for me to indulge. I wanted the restriction....I don't think I really have enough. Also, just so you are aware, I had the lapband for 7 yrs and lost all my weight (gained it back after it slipped and had it removed) so believe me, I know what restriction feels like and how crappy it feels to take "one bite too many" I used to puke a few times a day and to be honest I welcomed it...bulimic?? Please let me know...is anyone else like me or am I screwed? Thank you for your help! -
Back from my Alaskan cruise. Gained...
JACKIEO85 replied to marfar7's topic in LAP-BAND Surgery Forums
I'm JEALOUS!!! That is one Cruise I'd love to take and you thought I meant the weight gain...lol No actually I think you'll do fine What would you do if you were having the sleeve done next month? Try to lose weight or say to heck with it? I know what I'm going to hear "If you're not ready to change your diet then you're not ready for the sleeve". I AM ready. My band failed after 3 1/2 yrs (totally my fault, NOPE sorry I don't believe ANYONE is at fault, no matter what happens with the Band. frequent vomiting) and I NEED something to help me take off the rest and maintain forever. It's why I got the band in the first place. I hate dieting We ALL go into WLS because we need that extra TOOL When you have the sleeve I'm assuming you'll be on a pre-op diet? I think this will be a perfect time to get back in gear, personally I don't know that I could go on a cruise and not enjoy the Food and from what I've read concerning the sleeve your not going to be going 'full steam ahead" with eating even if your head wants to your body isn't going to let you, it seems most have a slowwwwwwww and steady restart. So stop fretting, what's done is done your GOING TO DO AWESOME with your Sleeve!!!!!!! ~~~Good Luck on your Journey ~~~ -
8 lbs! Wow. 3 previous cruises I didn't gain a lb. This is the first one with no fill in my band (slipped last month, waiting till late June for a sleeve revision). I ate with no abandon. eggs Benedict and corn beef hash for Breakfast, the buffet for lunch, a lavish dinner - and has anyone had Carnival Cruise Lines warm chocolate melting cake? It's to die for. I ate it EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Then at about 11 pm, I'd order another dessert from room service- just because I could. Didn't go to the gym even once. Walked alot in ports, but obviously not enough. So it's official. I've now gained 30 lbs since getting married Dec 2011. It just crept up on me. About 1/2 of my closet doesn't fit anymore. I was down to an 8 and now I'm wearing about an 11/12. Hubby keeps telling me I should cut my carbs (he's a carb-a-phobe), but I feel like "hey, I'm having the sleeve done next month. Why not eat whatever I want?" I'm going to the dr on Monday to get my surgery date. I'm so embarrassed at my weight gain. And to top it off, we lost our camera on the last day of our cruise. All 500 pics of our week is gone. All those memories. No one turned it to lost and found. At least we have the memories to keep in our heads. What would you do if you were having the sleeve done next month? Try to lose weight or say to heack with it? I know what I'm going to hear "If you're not ready to change your diet then you're not ready for the sleeve". I AM ready. My band failed after 3 1/2 yrs (totally my fault, frequent vomiting) and I NEED something to help me take off the rest and maintain forever. It's why I got the band in the first place. I hate dieting. Marci
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Back from my Alaskan cruise. Gained...
marfar7 posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
8 lbs! Wow. 3 previous cruises I didn't gain a lb. This is the first one with no fill in my band (slipped last month, waiting till late June for a sleeve revision). I ate with no abandon. eggs Benedict and corn beef hash for Breakfast, the buffet for lunch, a lavish dinner - and has anyone had Carnival Cruise Lines warm chocolate melting cake? It's to die for. I ate it EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Then at about 11 pm, I'd order another dessert from room service- just because I could. Didn't go to the gym even once. Walked alot in ports, but obviously not enough. So it's official. I've now gained 30 lbs since getting married Dec 2011. It just crept up on me. About 1/2 of my closet doesn't fit anymore. I was down to an 8 and now I'm wearing about an 11/12. Hubby keeps telling me I should cut my carbs (he's a carb-a-phobe), but I feel like "hey, I'm having the sleeve done next month. Why not eat whatever I want?" I'm going to the dr on Monday to get my surgery date. I'm so embarrassed at my weight gain. And to top it off, we lost our camera on the last day of our cruise. All 500 pics of our week is gone. All those memories. No one turned it to lost and found. At least we have the memories to keep in our heads. What would you do if you were having the sleeve done next month? Try to lose weight or say to heack with it? I know what I'm going to hear "If you're not ready to change your diet then you're not ready for the sleeve". I AM ready. My band failed after 3 1/2 yrs (totally my fault, frequent vomiting) and I NEED something to help me take off the rest and maintain forever. It's why I got the band in the first place. I hate dieting. Marci -
Anyone not struggled with weight their whole life?
mikeross replied to nervousnellie's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I actually only started gaining weight about 8 years ago after a serious back injury. I was a healthy weight as a child and in my teens, played ice hockey and soccer for years which kept me in shape growing up. Wrestled in high school and first year of university. I literally dropped off a 30' cliff and landed on my upper back. I was told to lay off any contact sports or lifting weights for awhile. I slowly started gaining weight once I couldn't do the physical activities I use to love. A few years went by and gained about 50lbs. I met my wife who is an amazing cook coupled with our love checking out new restaurants and before I knew it I was up another 40-50lbs... around 275. I have loss about 75lbs 2 times in the last 5 years only to gain in all back and then some. The last straw was when I hadn't weighed myself for a few months and was shocked I had hit 320. All the while I had known and research vsg surgery but always felt it was to extreme. The latest big weight gain caused me to serious consider it and that was history. I always knew I could lose the weight without the surgery. I did the surgery to keep the weight off for good. -
Yes, of course we still have to work at it. This is not a magic bullet. We still have to make choices. If we choose fried food, ice cream and Twinkies (are they for sale again?) over eggs, broiled Cod or a lean cut of beef, then we can surely 'eat around our sleeve'. Someone else said something about worrying about once again, failing. I really don't "worry" about failing but weight gain does cross my mind and I am MINDFUL that just because I've lost all the weight I wanted to plus 5 lbs and just because I've been maintaining for almost 2.5 years....that does NOT guarantee that I cannot gain weight. I NEVER want to forget that failure is possible if I choose poorly time and time again.
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100 lb club in less than 4 months
GetInMyBelly replied to Bbell's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I have lost only 100 since my surgery two Octobers ago!!! I need to lose at least fifty more! This is either becoming a weight gain again or a bad stall! :0((((((( I don't want to get fat again!!! Gosh it's so easy to gain weight back and I went through all this to do better, so any ideas to boost the weightless back? Thanks -
Hi everyone, I am getting a little discouraged. I have been post op for a month and the weight was coming off regularly, but for the past two weeks I appear to have gained weight. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this and if so, how did you deal with it.
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Conflicting Stories from Doctors
girlrfriday replied to auntyc's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I have done quite a bit of research on this topic, because it was the biggest worry deciding to go with the sleeve! YES! your stomach and "Relax" or "Stretch" to some degree but never to its original size. The stomach you have remaining is mostly muscle, and the strchy part is what was removed, so it will be much more difficult for it to stretch than before. I think my big worry is Slider foods, and I think that attributes to weight gain for many. But overall, I know that I have to cherish and protect my little sleeve I want it to serve me as long and as well as it can! -
From what I've seen about it, your stomach is not so much stretching as relaxing over time. You will be able to take in more food eventually. I don't believe that it will be the same amount as in the past, but you'll be able to get more in there. Weight gain seems to usually come from unhealthy choices & habits coming back. As I see the surgery, it was an opportunity to hit a reset button. A chance to lose weight & build new healthier habits (and a lifetime commitment to keeping up those new habits).
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So does anyone out there suffer from the inevitable ending of the day glass of wine.?! I'm sure alcohol has attributed to some of my weight gain and I'm scared of it continuing to be a problem going forward after surgery because it's a liquid. I know I'll have to scale back but I have a very stressful job and family life and long for that evening relaxing glass of wine. How do I cope? Thoughts??
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I'm in the same boat! Today is week 10 and my first gain. It's disheartening. Any other diet, this would be the time I would throw in the towel. However, logically, I know there is no way I have consumed enough calories within the last week to constitute a 2 pound weight gain. Also, I started in the gym this week, both cardio and strength training. I know that probably has something to do with the weight gain as well. So, this week it is all about getting my water and Protein in!! Keep on keepin' on!!
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Curiosity on your appearance
fallingwhisper replied to joannao74's topic in Mexico & Self-Pay Weight Loss Surgery
My weight gain started with puberty, and I remember weighing exactly 200 in weight class in my senior year of high school. I'm now a couple pounds below 300 at 26 yrs old (hopefully I never see that 3!) so I have no idea at all what I'll look like after surgery. -
Okay so this girlie here is freakinggg out!! I have not slept all night, i have a pedi scheduled as a pre surgery relaxation today and i don't even want to go any more. I am so fearful, afraid of dying, complications, pain after surgery, not being able to eat food i like again, this not working, stalls, weight gain, not having children. I know that in a few month i will look back at all this and laugh well i hope, but today anxiety is running at an all time high. Xantax any one??
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Every day i wonder and day dream of how i would look if i lost enough weight to weigh under 200..even in my teen years i was 210-215..now im 256...not a real big weight gain after 20 years and 2 kids. Does any else think of the same thing?
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Maya, That was one rule my doctor and NUT were fanatic about - no drinking for at least 30 mins before a meal and 30 mins after a meal. They noted that avoiding this rule could lead to weight gain. You may want to check with your doctor. Good luck to you! Kelly
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When does the gas and bloating go down?
tigerbelle replied to sherrypep's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I don't think I ever had the weight gain from the short time I was on IV fluids in the hospital...but a friend had told me not to weigh myself the first few days I was home...I am 6 days out today, and I am down 9 lbs since surgery day...most of the gas and bloating is gone but not all...my biggest thing is that I am occasionally getting that heavy feeling in the center of my chest between my breasts--sort of like indigestion or gas pains...my dr gave me a script for Prevacid which I might try--has anyone else tried that? Like whodatcat, I am not sure if what I am experiencing is acid-reflux related or true hunger -
Where is the family forum? I wish we had one.. Ok here goes. About once a month the entire family has a family gathering. The kids go swimming, play with one another, and of course there is a lot of food. In fact I think the day is centered around grazing all day long and drinking beer/wine. I don't drink beer or wine so I am good there, however, I do not want to be around all that food. The truth is that I love food and the company I have around food. Call me an addict, call me a foodie it doesn't matter. The point is I find it difficult to be around all the food and not sample it. I was the only large one in the family so the rest never had the same issues I had with grazing and weight gain. The smells are enticing and even though I am not hungry.... I still want to sample/snack (head hunger). How can I attend this gathering and not be bothered by the food at 2 weeks post op? I am seriously thinking about not going but I was given some nasty looks by family. Only 1 knows I had the surgery and the others think I had surgery for a hernia (wanted to avoid judgement). Any help is appreciated.
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Comparing info... I asked my Dr. at our initial consultation if you can gain weight back after the sleeve? He told me the new stomach can not stretch more than 5%. At my psych eval, I mentioned that & the psychologist was floored; said he knew people that gained it all back after the sleeve! That scares me. Curious what others' bariatric surgeons told them about possibility of weight gain? My doctor, Dr. Kuhn, also sad the max. you could expect to lose is 80% excess body weight (on his web site, it says 70%).. Yet, on the forums, I see people who have lost more weight. Wondering if that is a rare occurrence? What did your Dr. Tell you?
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Completely agree with you that hard exercise does not lead to continuous weight loss. It is too hard on your body and will stall out weight loss or cause weight gain. The body will struggle with too low carbs and calories that are needed to support weight loss in the context of high caloric burn from the hard exercise. Therefore, strive for moderation even in exercise while you are losing weight. Getting the diet balanced for weight loss with moderate exercise works really well for weight loss.
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Hi, yes I take it and no I have never noticed an increase in appetite. It can contribute to weight gain but honestly I never noticed any. It can however make you tired, so I take mine at night before bed. This medication changed my life. I had never taken anxiety/depression meds before this and I can honestly say it has give me a new lease on life I have been on it for four years now
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I didn't lose weight my first three weeks, in fact I maintained the hospital five pound weight gain. Now its six weeks and about forty pounds down. Be patient with your body and kind to yourself. Good luck, it will come.
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No longer invisible, and that's what I wanted, I thought ...
Globetrotter posted a topic in The Lounge
I wasn't sure if this should go in the Ladies Gone Wild section, but then I really wanted input from men as well, so I figured I would put it here. I have often wondered if many of us put on weight as a defense mechanism, I think it has been proven time and again -especially with females- that massive weight gain happens after a sexual assault or abuse or something. I'm not saying this means every last fat person was abused, so please, those of you chomping at the bit for someone to flame - no. What I'm trying to say is ... I was invisible for a very long time. During the years when I should have been learning how to interact with men, get my heart broken, get tough, get wise, learn from romantic mistakes, learn to spot predators - I was cocooned in my obese isolation and never learned any of those things. I never learned what other women learn about other women, that there are so many out there that are so crippled by insecurity that they will attempt to destroy you just to secure their own positions. I never learned that if you appear to present any sort of "threat" to these kinds of women that they will stop at nothing - including destructive gossip and libel, to eradicate you as a threat. I also didn't learn how to interact with men or rather, I never learned that there are consequences to my behavior; as an obese invisible individual, I was, ironically, treated as a person not a "woman" with all the connotation and baggage therein. I was treated by men as an honorary dude and got to joke and be bawdy and opinionated and they were comfortable around me. Now, if I make eye contact with any man, they see it as an invitation. Now, men are aggressive in trying to mark their territory, and I'm the territory! Now I am viewed as physically weak and now for the first time in my life, I am afraid when I have to walk somewhere alone in the dark. I don't know how to deal with all of this, I don't know how to weild this power, I was never taught. Help?- 55 replies
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Do you still feel the urge to binge eat?
danelle235 replied to danelle235's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
This is helpful, as you said to, come to terms with. Binging is dangerous and obviously leads to weight gain. I just need to find ways to cope and resist the urge post-sleeve so that I don't to real damage as well. Thank you for sharing the truth.
