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Ok, I have to vent a little then I am going to get over this. This weekend I went on a river float trip with two of my friends from work. One is a doc in the ER with me and another is a nurse, also from the ER. They both know about my surgery and since it has been almost a year since I had it done, it seems like it should be a non-issue. Maybe it was just me, but all weekend seemed to be full of these little comments from them...."is that all you are going to eat?" "oh, I suppose you are full already", "you pick where we are going to eat, you are the one with restrictions" Mostly, I tried to just ignore them, but it really SUCKED! On the way home, we were talking about where to stop for lunch. I asked if either of them had tried a place called Noodles & Co (new to our area) then I told them that my son and I had eaten there and it was really good. I also said that they had really big portions, meaning that you get alot for your money. My friend said "to you EVERYTHING is a big portion" I just stopped talking at that point and wanted to go home. They are my friends, and I know that they really don't want to hurt my feelings, but it makes me not want to go out to eat with anyone because I am worried about what they will say or think about what I am eating and THAT is where I was before I had my surgery. I am going on a 9 day vacation with both of them in September, I think I am going to have to have a frank discussion with them about this before then or it will be a miserable trip. Ok - enough of the pity party. When I look at the big picture, its all good. I am so happy with my sleeve and my new life. Just had to vent a little to people that I knew would understand - now I feel better lol

Is making this choice even more difficult for me to make. He's not fat and has never been so I feel like he will never understand me. I'm just wondering if anyone else out there has or had a similar problem and how where you able to over come it.

I hope this is the right thread.. my husband doesn't support my decision to have vsg.. thinks its unnatural.. not a good idea.. of course he's found someone with complications and further States his case.. he's very controlling and always doesn't understand y I can't "just go on a diet..exercise more".. I really wanna go this and I think its right for me.. but I don't think my marriage would make it.. should I not do it cause he's insecure and afraid I'm gonna leave once I start loosing the weight? Thanks for listening..

So I have been thinking of getting surgery for quite some time now. I have family that are very supportive of my decision. However, my husband basically thinks that since I have never been able to lose it and stick with any plan in the past that this is a bad choice. He doesn't get where I am coming from and thinks I will fail yet again at this weight loss battle. I really don't know how to explain it to him. I have said the surgery itself will make me lose the weight. In losing a good amount, I will feel more energetic and want to get out and be more active. I am 100% going to have the VS but really want his support through it all. Any advice or thoughts?? I am a newbie here but have really enjoyed reading some of the topics and am amazed at everyone's photos! Any thoughts are appreciated!

yesterday we had a 4-h meeting. my sil who had the tummy tuck was there as well. after each of these meeting we have an assortment of Cookies and juices and fruits for everyone to enjoy. my niece brought some oreo's over for my sil. she offered me one, i declined. my sil started giving me a super hard time about not eating cookies anymore. she was licking it and oohhhing and aahhing, just being dumb! but she would not let up. on and on, waving the cookie in my face, saying how great they tasted. so, knowing that i weigh less then her, like by 20lbs now (insert me doing a little "go me" dance), i come back w/ "guess how much i weighed this morning?" enough said. didnt ask her how much she weighs or anything. just left it at that. to which she of course started in about me weighing myself and bla bla bla.... made me feel better just throwing that out there. how bad is that? but i felt better, and i walked the 2 miles home! made me feel even better! how do you guys handle people like that? oh, and she doesnt know i had this surgery! as far as she knows, i am just making better healthier choices for MY life! which i am, but why does that bother her so?

Of anyone who should understand why I am doing this procedure, I would think it would be my mom. My mom has struggled with obesity most of her adult life. She has had several surgeries because of obesity related issues. In 2014 she had 4 surgeries and almost had to skip my bridal shower and wedding because she was so sick. My theory is, have this one surgery now, on my terms, and prevent having to have my knees and hips replaced when I am her age. Her theory is why screw up a "healthy" body when you don't need to. I'm 29, married and "healthy", just overweight. The only time I have ever been a normal weight was when I had a drug problem when I was a teenager. My mom always makes snarky comments about me having surgery. And this weekend it really came to head. We ran into two of aunts when out running errands on Friday. Its bad enough when she makes comments to me, but it really upsets me when she says things in front of other people. Especially people who I haven't even decided if I am going to share with them that I am having the surgery done. So my mom told both my aunts that I am having this done, then she went into her laundry list of reasons why it's not a good idea. I feel that I should be able to decide who I want to share my news with and who I don't want to tell. I am not doing this in secrecy, but I'm not sharing it with everyone. I have told my immediate family, 2 coworkers and about 5 close friends. I'm sure everyone will eventually find out, but I want to tell them on my terms. It would be just be really nice to be supported, especially by my mom. Thanks for listening.

I have about had it with my in-laws. I am so unsure of what to do with them right now. I am hoping someone here can help me put this all together & figure out where I should go from here. Here's the short version of the story: I had my surgery in Mexico. I chose to tell everyone about getting Lapband surgery upfront, but my husband & I decided not to tell everyone about Mexico until AFTER the surgery. We told everyone that we were traveling to San Diego for the surgery. (Which really is the truth, we just crossed the border!!) 6-weeks AFTER the surgery, we felt it was time to tell everyone about Mexico. (I just believe in being honest & didn't want any secrets!) My family & friends had no problems! My in-laws flipped out!! They told us they were coming over for a meeting & then for 2 hrs. went on & on about my deceitfulness & how my bad example was rubbing off on my kids. (Please note that at NO TIME have I ever in the past or present lied to my in-laws. This one incident is what the only basis of their judgment.) I was very hurt by this & could not sleep that night. Since I couldn't sleep, I got up & wrote them a letter through e-mail & sent it. I simply shared my feelings. My in-laws did not speak to me for 6-months over this letter!! Last week they called my husband & said they wanted to meet. So, we hooked up at a restaurant & were there for 3 hrs. while they finished off what they started 6 months ago. I thought they were wanting to meet to apologize to me. :straight I left feeling worse!!! They feel that I LIED to them & led them to believe something that wasn't the truth. They felt that I didn't trust them by telling them up front. They said they were very concerned for my safety & the safety of my children - that I was thoughtless & selfish to do something like this. My husband really layed in on them that night!! He did most of the talking & I was proud of him. I've never seen him so rude to his parents before!!!!!! He's usually a kind-hearted easy going man. However, he regrets getting mad & now their relationship is worse. I have lost 50 lbs. since they've seen me. My MIL kept staring at me when I got up to get a drink or go to the restroom. She was eyeing me in a weird way. It's almost as if she's jealous!! (She is VERY overweight herself!) I have felt miserable for the past few days & don't know what to do. I am actually coming to the conclusion that perhaps I was wrong? (ME?! WRONG?!?!) UP to this point, I truly felt that what I did was okay. Is there some law that says I'm required to tell my in-laws that I am having surgery in Mexico? It's MY LIFE for goodness sake. I didn't tell them about Mexico upfront because I knew they would FREAK OUT!! They're just that way. It would have ruined our whole trip. I would appreciate ALL OPINIONS!! If you really think that what I did was deceitful, please share your feelings. I am hoping to get some insight that maybe I just don't see. I just want this craziness to be over!! My kids miss seeing Grandma & Grandpa!!!!!!!

I have thought about WLS for several years, I have been overweight as far back as I can remember. The last time I saw a number on the scale under 200 was in 2001 or so, and even before that I was still overweight. I am now 260, and my bmi is 39.5. I have tried it all, Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet, Eat to Live, vegan eating... nothing works long term and I just can't keep the weight off at all. I just have no real stop mechanism and overeat constantly. :shades_smile: I kept hearing about the lapband a lot recently (someone my mom knows had it done and we ran into her a week or two ago, heard about it on Dr. Radio, etc) and it made me again look into info on the web. I realized I am obese, almost in the morbid category and it terrifies me. I also went on CPAP in Oct 2007 and I am sure Wed when I see the sleep dr I need another study due to putting on more weight (following another diet that failed, ugh). I feel like the band is so much safer than gastric bypass, and with two little girls (1.5 and 5) I definitely want to be careful and do what has the least risk. So I've thought aboiut it a lot. My mom went with me to a seminar last Thursday night. On the way she said she would support me either way I chose to go. My husband thinks I just need more willpower. He has only 50lbs to lose, I have like 90, so I just don't want to hear that at all LOL. He can excercise and eat well and it will fall off. I just can't get mine off. Anyway, he said he would keep the kids so I coiuld go (my mom could have but oh well... anyway). I came home from the seminar a bit scared and confused but as I've read through the information, and weighed pros and cons I really think the combination of the band plus us joining a gym will be the way I can finally do this. He doesn't agree. He thinks it's "the easy way" and that I just need to learn how to eat better and go excercise. :thumbs_up: I have arthritis, so excercise doesn't come easy, and losing the big amt of weight in the first month banded will go a long way to helping me be able to move more. I guess I am just wanting someone to understand and support me better as I go through this. My mom keeps saying "you know he said you can defeat the band or the bypass, he said how people get around it and then they don't lose" then she says "I think you need to do weight watchers before this, but that is just MY opinion" in a snotty tone. :thumbup::teeth_smile: I told her "so the last 4 times I already did WW really worked so I might as well try again, huh?" :biggrin: I cannot do the surgery if ins doesn'ty pay so there is still a chance I won't even do it... but I want to be evaluated... thing is I need THEIR support and help with my kids during recovery... ughhh... anyway, sorry for writing a book, I am just tired of it. My mom found the last pg of my dr forms that had my diet history and her comment was "see, this shows you CAN do it yourself" I said "oh really, look at me this is the biggest I have EVER been, so apparently not!!" :laugh::thumbs_up: ending this now... sorry again for the book!

Last Friday, out of frustration, because my husband was in the hospital, I went to a friends house I was talking to her about everything going on in my life. Well when we got to the topic of weight loss surgery, it was all down hill. She is a big girl too, and I thought that she would be one of the more understanding people about it, but NO! "Well you aren't that big, so-and-so is bigger." Or "Can't you just try to lose it on your own?" Why do people feel the need to say shit like this? I've made up my mind, anscif you can't be zupportive, then just keep your opinion to yourself!. Ugh. I'm so frustrated. Sent from my SM-N920P using the BariatricPal App

Hi There, I'm new to the site. I've been really thinking about having the LB surgery. It is quite costly, here in T.O. and because of this, my spouse is very unsupportive. I've got about 120 to 140 to lose and I just seem to keep gaining more and more. It's getting to the point where I am quickly becoming a gorophobic (did i spell that right). i hate leaving the house! How do I get him on board? Also, any advice would be great as I prepare for this journey. I met with a centre in April and I am going to reschedule another consultation. What specific questions should I ask? Many thanks everyone. I appreciate the support.

I need advice. My husband and my family are not exactly thrilled about me having this surgery. they say they are supportive...but... I hear CONSTANTLY: "well if you know you can do the post op eating regimine after surgery, just start that now and don't have the surgery" "you just have to be stronger willed and not eat as much" "just do the pre-op diet for longer. or do the post op diet now... why the rush..." "just....why cant you ..." anything they can think of to convince me that surgery is NOT the right choice. Honestly, the only 2 things that kept me from doing it earlier is the fear of family rejection and fear of post-op complications from surgery. Not the lifestyle, not the eating, not the change in everything I know. The fear of complications. And I know that's their fear too. so knowing that, how do I answer their questions? I know that logically that make sense and we should just do that. However, practically I know I cant do it, or I would have already done it. I tell them that and then I hear I just need to be better at being strong willed. I'm a week and a half away from my 6th month weight in. all my other tests and pre-op tests and evaluations will be done on the 23rd. then it gets submitted to insurance for approval. I've been doing this for 6 months with the doctors. But It took 2 years of going back and forth (in my mind) to make this decision. I am ready. more than ready, I'm excited!! Well, I WAS excited. Now I'm scared again and wondering if it worth the risk. ARG!!!

Well attended a seminar yesterday and today went to my pcp for a referral to get the ball rolling. Thing is, she seemed hell bent on scaring me off of the idea of WLS. She lectured me for 5 min on how it is horrible and how two of her other patients have had terrible side effects and brain damage and how it has ruined their lives. Then she went on to say all I needed to do was eat a bunch of salads and that she was 100% without a doubt correct and that I should just do it without surgery. I'm not really sure what to think, but I still requested the referral so I can speak to the doc myself. She also said that the surgeons view WLS as a means to profit and as soon as the deal is done that they ignore you and don't want to deal with you if you have complications. Anyone else have a PCP with a similar attitude?

I mostly just want to rant... I'm less than 3 weeks post op and my wife has already stopped being supportive. The kids call my meals dog food. Wife has gone through the McDonald's drive through 3 times with me in the car since surgery, she breaks out bags of chips and other Snacks for movie nights, and has little regard for my new diet. She doesn't seem to understand why this would upset me. The kids are pretty young still, so I'll give them a pass. Wife is scheduled for surgery on August 1st, so I would think she would be more supportive...

My sixth weigh-in is this week, so my surgery is quickly approaching! My family has already make rude comments like this procedure is unnatural, I will re-gain my weight , they'd rather be fat than have excess skin, etc. I am not one of those people that need to be coddled through this entire process; however, I will not take too much from then. Sabotage is expected, especially when you're surrounded by people bigger than you.. I would hope that if I remain humble and not try to act like a fitness coach that they'd be happy for me.. If not, I'll just wash my hands of them.. I don't need that I'm debating on telling everyone that I've changed my mind and that I in fact am not having the surgery anymore. Of course I'll still have the procedure and do my best to hide it from them.. Good idea or no? Would you guys tell your family if you could all over again? Thanks, Blake

My husband actually said that I need to stop losing weight because I'm starting to look like a "Crack Head". 😢 yes my feelings are crushed 💔

Hello everyone! I have struggled with weight my entire life........well a girl I know got the sleeve about a month ago and she has seen so much progress......soooo I went visit a surgeon in my area.....I LOVE HIM!!!!!.......he feels that the sleeve is a good fit for me.......but I mentioned it to my family and they are so against it.......they fill my head with horror stories......like u will experience malnutrition, it will make you so sick, it ages you, your hair falls out, you throw up everyday, your bones get brittle and will break, and you will die! It scares me so much and I hate that they don't support me........my family is my everything .......I really need help! Should I get the surgery? Are all of these things true that my family is telling me about? I'm 23 healthy besides my weight but I am so sick and tired of being obesed .......please help

I'm at a total loss. I don't even know if I'm posting this to the right place, but I'm hoping some of you might be able to help. I've been researching non-stop for the last 3 days, I haven't eaten, and I have barely gotten any decent sleep. My fiancé wants to get the gastric sleeve WLS. I'm literally sick with worry about it. I don't do well with change at all and that's the main problem. My fiancé isn't hideously overweight but he is enough to qualify for this surgery. For a long time he pursued it with only rejection. So to be honest I never actually thought we would get the call from the VA saying they'd cover it, but we did. He just had his pre-op appointment where he met with the surgeon, and we are supposed to get a call tomorrow to schedule the surgery and another meeting with the doctor because he wants to see why I'm not on board with this surgery. I love my fiancé and I care about him very much, but No matter how hard I try, I can't get myself to cope with this. I'm scared he will change and I won't like the new him. A lot of this stems from a childhood trauma I had as well. I know once he gets prepped for surgery, rolled back, and even in recovery I will not be able to handle it. I'm going to be a total wreck. I don't want to see him in pain when there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to see him struggle to keep a cup of Soup down in the weeks to follow. I'm really at my wits end with this. He won't get the surgery if I'm not on board, which isn't fair to him, but at the same time I know I'm far from okay with it. We are literally at a stalemate, if he doesn't get it because I can't handle it then we are both unhappy because he's wanted this so long and I'd hate myself for ruining it for him and I know he'd resent me as well. But if he does get it then I'm afraid I won't be able to even bear to look at him, it'd be too painful to watch him be so vulnerable. I just can't do this. And I feel absolutely awful. If he does end up getting the surgery I'm convinced I won't see him as the happy healthy guy he'll be in a year, but I'll see him as the pained sedated patient lying in return hospital bed.

So, I am now 7 days pre-sleeve and am on my liquid diet. My husband is still not on board with the surgery and tries to discourage me every chance he gets. He thinks my lifestyle change will somehow affect him. I tried telling him that what I put in my mouth has nothing to do with what he puts in his, but he just tries to make me feel guilty. He thinks it is "absolutely ridiculous" that I want this surgery. Anyone else have an unsupportive significant other? what did you do? Did they eventually come around after the surgery? Thanks for any advice.

So many posts here, about unsupportive significant others. Just watched My 600 lb. life. Zsalynn is doing great. She went for weight training with a trainer. Her SO said if you want to break a sweat grab the vacuum cleaner. I wanted to go through the tv. She is trying so hard, and her young child (and his), yells why did you marry him mommy!? Zsalynn said because I wouldn't have you. I have made terrible choices in my life, I guess this is why it bothers me so. Sort of like the first husband of 20 years dropping me at the hospital to have two different surgeries. He is history but I still wonder why I settled for such crap. The first surgery was a kidney stone when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant, and nearly died. Please, strong women, never ever let a man treat you like this.

Recently I told my fiancé about me wanting to get gastric bypass and since then he's been unsupportive. He doesn't think I need to get it done and he thinks I'm trying to take "the easy way out". I went through this whole process about me wanting to get surgery in 2013 and I opted not to because of the people in my surrounding not supporting me or talking negatively about it. I thought then that maybe I was trying to take the easy way out, so I didn't finish the process. I was able to lose weight on my own with healthy eating and exercise and around the time that I was deciding that I wanted to get surgery the first time I met my fiancé. I felt bad because we were staring to get close and things started to move quickly and I was lying about what "doctors" appointments I was going to and I just kept thinking what if I got through the surgery, How am I going to tell him? Whose going to take care of me when I get out?So that ship sinked quickly. Fast word three years later we're still together, but in the past 3 years I've gained the 50 pounds back that I lost. I am tired of listening to everyones opinions about me getting surgery. I feel like if I get the surgery my relationship with my fiancé will end. He just thinks so negatively about it and it sucks. My sister has reservations about it as well and she still doesn't think I should do it like my fiancé and she is in between on the support side, but she told me she will be there for me with whatever I decide to do. I haven't told my mom or dad or my other sister about it. I don't think I want to either. Its just so hard doing this a second time around with little to no support.

So my partner hasn't been very supportive of my upcoming surgery! During an argument tonight he referred to my savings for my surgery as my "fat money" an I looked at him disputed and his response was "well it's true the reason your getting surgery is cos your fucking fat" .. I'm so hurt right now... ????

*Caution, Kind of a long read* Hi everyone, I had a my surgery in December 2019 and even before surgery my boyfriend of almost 5 years was very against me having surgery. His question is always "what am I going to gain from you having this surgery?" and he doesn't seem to care at all that losing weight is what is best for me. At my highest weight I was about 10 pounds shy of reaching 300 pounds and he always was very against me getting over 300 pounds and he constantly told me that if I worked out and ate right I could easily lose the weight I wanted to lose on my own (though it is very hard to lose almost 100 pounds on your own with support, i couldn't imagine doing it with the little to no support he was offering). He has horrible eating habits himself, soda, fast food 3-5 times weekly, and no exercise but lucky for him he has always been skinny and has a fairly good metabolism and never has to worry about his weight. I went back and forth for years over having surgery and my mom had gastric bypass in 2016 and lost about 200 pounds and is doing amazing and he swears up and down that I did this surgery just because she kept telling me to (which is entirely untrue) and that if I didn't listen to everything my mom said then I would have been able to lose the weight on my own and now he just thinks I took the easy way out. Which, a bit of back story, I was very very sick after my surgery and in a lot of pain and I could not get fluids or food down well for the first 2 months post op and I was so weak I could hardly get out of bed and if I did I would feel faint and practically pass out in the shower, on the toilet, etc. He saw me go through all of this until they found out I had a stricture and they had to go in and dilate it and now I feel amazing, but still after watching me go through all of this he still thinks that I was weak and took the easy way out. Now he thinks that at 3 months post op and 65 pounds down from my highest weight and still another 60 pounds away from my goal that I am getting far too skinny and that I need to stop right now at the weight that I am at or else he will no longer find me attractive. I don't think he seems to understand that I can not simply just stop losing weight and that I had this surgery in the first place to lose a significant amount of weight because I was morbidly obese. I have been overweight almost my whole life and all I have ever wanted was just to be a normal goal, have boys like me, make friends, have confidence, and be able to shop in a normal store and not have to desperately search for cute clothes which rarely existed in the plus sized section. Now I have a boy that I love and would hate to lose but he is making it seem like I made this super selfish decision to change MY BODY without his consent and that now I should feel guilty for potentially flushing out 4 year long relationship down the drain and wasting his time. I just don't know what to do now, he said not to call him until I can explain to him how me losing weight and getting "skinny" is going to benefit him in any way. I'm just saying, I did this surgery for me, I deserve to be happy and feel good about myself too. I don't give a single damn about being skinny, I just want to be happy and healthy and at almost 300 pounds I was so far from that that it's not even funny. I just need his support and I don't think i'll ever get it.

Tomorrow I meet with my family practicioner to talk about a 3 month weight loss plan that will make my health insurance happy so I can have the surgery. I'm kinda scared that the dr will just say to me "well have you thought about diet and exercise?" I'm kind of expecting that answer from him because he seems the type. The problem is that I need his recommendation for my insurance to approve the surgery. Has anyone else had a problem with their doctor being less than supportive about WLS? What have you done about it? Has anyone had to switch doctors because of this problem?

Hi everyone! I had my sleeve 6 weeks ago and have lost 17kg... i'm currently in a stall but that's another matter, it'll fix itself i'm sure I was just wondering if anyone here has someone they're close too who has been unsupportive of their WLS? What did you do about it? Have you lost any friends? I have a friend who has had nothing positive to say about the surgery at all, just talks about how i will never be able to eat anything and i'll be vomiting all the time after my 2 teaspoons (which is completely untrue).

Tl;dr: Husband says he supports me. Actions speak louder than words and his actions are screaming otherwise. What should I do? Let me preface this post with a note. My husband is wonderful. Our relationship is healthy and happy, and while I’d change some things, they are tiny things like biting his nails, nothing substantial. We have been together in some form for 14 years and while he might come off in a negative light in this post, that isn’t who he is. There was a small hiccup and despite being told I was approved earlier in the week, I was actually REALLY approved yesterday. My husband and I were discussing the news last night. My husband has been against this surgery since the day I told him. When I initially began looking into it, I sat on telling him for nearly 3 months, making sure it was what I wanted before I told him. He is amazing at arguing a point and I didn’t want to have my mind changed unless his arguments were amazing. Once he realized I was in this 100%, he told me that he didn’t agree with the decision, but he’d support me completely and be there for me. I…I don’t feel that he has. He hasn’t gone to a single support meeting with me, though I have asked him to. He went to one doctor’s visit, but that was after I browbeat and begged him to come. My first visit had been a disaster. The entire waiting room was filled with patients and +1’s. I was literally the only person that day who was there alone. I actually broke down crying when the nurse took me back. Having him there the second visit made a world of difference for me and my mental health, and I think it helped him understand that while he has issues, this surgery is about as safe as many others and I am a great candidate. I feel unable to talk to him about the topic. If I broach it, he discusses it as pleasantly as possible, but his body language just screams “I DON’T AGREE WITH THIS.” After telling him my good approval news, I asked him point blank if this was the right choice, mostly hoping to allay my anxiety. He let out a really drawn out sigh and then told me he still didn’t think it was and that I was making a lifetime commitment for cosmetic reasons. I explained again that while the cosmetic thing was a nice bonus, this was being done so I could live a long and healthy life without major health issues. His reply was “well those years at the end would suck anyway.” He also argued that instead of taking pills for being sick, I’d take pills to remain healthy. I tried to argue the difference between taking vitamins vs taking insulin or heart medication, but as mentioned above, he’s REALLY good at arguing a point, so I let it go. To be fair, the blame on asking him a direct question and getting a direct answer is on me. I don’t begrudge him telling me the truth. It just really hurt to hear him say it. This is happening. He knows this is happening. He has voiced his concerns multiple times and I’ve tried to quell them by using science and facts. Would it really hurt for him to give me little white lies when he knows this is an inevitability? I asked him if he’d visit me when I was recovering at the hospital and when he asked how long I’d be there and I told him probably a day and a half, he said “Yeah, I’d have to pick you up and drop you off anyway.” That…that’s kind of crushing to hear. You guess you might drop in on your wife? For someone who claims to support me and my decision 100%, that feels oddly unsupportive. It would be nice to wake up and see him there. My friends have already told me to tell them when I’d be in the hospital so they can visit. Meanwhile, I have to ask my husband to make an appearance? At the end of the conversation, he said “we’ll figure this out.” Honestly, I almost cried. He said WE, not me. I pointed out how nice it felt to hear him as being on the same team and he ruined the moment by saying “well, I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” The moment he said “we” instead of singling me out felt amazing, like we were a team and I had my partner and best friend on my side. This is a huge undertaking and it would be amazing to have him there instead of dragging his feet. I don’t know what to do guys. Am I reading too much into all of this? For as long as I have known him, he has always been very outspoken against elective surgery. I’m healthy (now) and this isn’t medically necessary (yet). I’m just not going to be able to convince him that this is the right decision for me unless I have a serious medical condition related to weight happen. I’m not waiting for my body to break before I make repairs. If he says he supports me, should I take it at face value? Should I stop bothering him with this and keep him out of the loop? The friends I have told have been wonderful, should I just rely on them and not bother him with this?