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I found it hard to stop my vices cold turkey, I'm kinda odd so made myself a plan for decreasing my quantity of caffeine, alcohol, processed sugary foods etc. I also gradually increased the decaf content in my coffee to the point that I drink a decaf coffee a week or so. I switched from pop and alcohol to carbonated Water with a dash of juice, to kombutcha tea, then to fun herbal teas cooled and over ice. I started changing my behaviours as soon as I went to the first information session but got serious about 10 months before surgery (my first intake appointment). I also struggled with the waiting for things to move on the hospital end, but hoped that if they saw the deliberate effort I was making maybe it would speed things up (it hasn't in my case). I think the awareness and effort on your part is the biggest factor, no matter how small the changes may seem.

Hello I was just looking for some drink ideas for when you go out? I don't really like wine and we aren't suppose to drink carbonation like beer/soda... what have you found that works for you? Thanks!

I am also preop since Nov and I have quit all caffeine, all carbonation, no sugar, no alcohol. No drinking 15min before eating and 30 min after eating. Small bites, chew so many times to make pureed in mouth before swallowing. doing every single thing my NUT tells me to do. Then came physical therapist. Well she put me on hold last month to get cardio condition and blood pressure in acceptable range and NUT wants me back again too. So back I go for Feb 11 date to see if they will pass me to surgery date yet!! starting to get really disheartened and frustrated with the wait, I have done everything they tell me so just waiting and waiting at this point. Do everything they tell you and everything you can before, or you wont move forward

Hope this helps, as for me I am 3 months post op, and only take NSAIDS for my back when i have flare ups, because i have degenerative arthritis in my spine and it helps bring down inflammation . So i don't take them often , so i think the trade off is worth it. But Here is something i found online that ex-planes everything....Bajagal NSAIDs and Bariatric Surgery – What’s the Deal? BY ROB – AUGUST 31, 2014POSTED IN: ASK THE PROS, FEATURED As a bariatric patient, you’ve probably heard the “NO NSAIDS” mantra. When you ask “why not?”, the general response is “they can cause ulcers” or something along those lines. Which is true… but do you know why that is? It’s not that I didn’t believe it, but I never understood why that would be. We just sort of take our doctor’s word for it in these things without giving it a second thought. And I never really did either until I was sitting in on one of the intro to WLS sessions at Unity Hospital (where I had my surgery) and heard Dr. Jeff Baker give a pretty good explanation to someone that asked about the medications they were on. After hearing what he said, I later asked him to give me a few more details so I could write about it here… cause I think it’s something that needs to be shared. I also want to thank Dr. Andrew Litchy, ND. He is one of my co-hosts from The Wake Up Call radio show, and he double-checked my facts for me here and gave me a few other points to make sure I shared. Ok, first of.. What’s an NSAID? It stands for Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. NSAIDs cover a fairly broad group of such drugs, but the most well known would be ibuprofen, but aspirin also falls in to this category. Their two main uses are for fever reduction and inflammation/pain control. Taken safely, in the right dosage, they can be very effective for managing pain caused by inflammation. But as with most drugs, there are a number of possible side-effects associated with them – even when taken safely. The focus for this discussion is on the irritation they cause to the GI tract, including the stomach. First I need to give a brief intro to prostaglandin, and to do that l borrow a clip from Wikipedia; The prostaglandins are a group of lipid compounds that are derived enzymatically from fatty acids and have important functions in the animal body. Every prostaglandin contains 20 carbon atoms, including a 5-carbon ring. They are mediators and have a variety of strong physiological effects, such as regulating the contraction and relaxation of smooth muscle tissue.[1] Prostaglandins are not endocrine hormones, but autocrine or paracrine, which are locally acting messenger molecules. They differ from hormones in that they are not produced at a discrete site but in many places throughout the human body. Also, their target cells are present in the immediate vicinity of the site of their secretion (of which there are many). Protaglandin’s play a variety of roles in the body, but the role we’re looking at here today is in the stomach. I found a pretty good summary of the situation on becomehealthynow.com - Prostaglandins are natural chemicals which are involved in body inflammation. By inhibiting the body’s production of certain chemical messengers (prostaglandins), NSAIDs decrease inflammation. However, certain prostaglandins are also important in protecting the stomach lining from the corrosive effects of stomach acid as well as playing a role in maintaining the natural healthy condition of the stomach lining. Like I said, most of you are probably already aware that taking NSAIDs can lead to ulcers, but aren’t aware of the “why” behind it. It all comes down to these Prostaglandins (PGs). Taking an oral NSAID leaves one open to problems in a few ways. The NSAID blocks production of PGs (PE2 in particular when talking about the stomach)… leaving your stomach lining more vulnerable to it’s own acid, but then the medications themselves are already acidic in nature themselves, causing even more irritation to the stomach lining. There are some folks that feel this only applies to NSAIDs taken orally, and that using topical creams or receiving them via IV is ok – but that really only makes things slightly less of a problem because you’re only taking the direct contact to the stomach lining out of the picture. You’re still reducing the production of PGs, leaving your stomach open to attack from it’s own acid. Here’s from PubMed.gov Except in rare cases, the stomach can withstand exposure to highly concentrated hydrochloric acid, refluxed bile salts, alcohol, and foodstuffs with a wide range of temperatures and osmolarity. This is attributed to a number of physiological responses by the mucosal lining to potentially harmful luminal agents, and to an ability to rapidly repair damage when it does occur. Since the discovery in 1971 that prostaglandin synthesis could be blocked by aspirin and other nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), there has been great interest in the contribution of prostaglandins to gastric mucosal defense. Prostaglandins modulate virtually every aspect of mucosal defense, and the importance of this contribution is evident by the increased susceptibility of the stomach to injury following ingestion of an NSAID. With chronic ingestion of these drugs, the development of ulcers in the stomach is a significant clinical concern. Now if all this is going on with someone that has a normal stomach, what about those of us with surgically altered ones? The possible problems is only increased. Please keep in mind here… I am not a doctor. At best, I played one for Halloween once. And while I did get input from some doctors in writing this, that was only to verify the jist of this content is medically correct. I’m not trying to give you any sort of medical advice, I’m just taking what I’ve learned in my limited research and trying to explain it in some simpler terms. Always check with your own doctor/surgeon before making any sort of decisions about any medications you take. Ok? Ok. That said, I’ll take a quick look at the different surgeries to try to break this down a bit. RNY: This one is sort of obvious when you think about it. These medications never hit your actual stomach, and while PGs are made all over the place, any NSAID you swallow is traveling through areas that typically wouldn’t be creating much in the way of PGs anyways, and then they block the production of them on top of it. Gastric Band: The NSAIDs hits your pouch first, then makes it’s way into the stomach. Even if it didn’t block production of PGs, gravity is working against you. Any of that protective layer being produced in the upper part of your stomach is constantly working it’s way down as well. But productions is blocked, so again, little to no protection. Vertical Sleeve: I couldn’t find much info on how much PGs are produced where, but given the greatly reduced size of the stomach with a sleeve (and I’ll include DS in here as well), even functioning normally, the protection has got to be fairly reduced. And once again, those NSAIDs are blocking that protection… still not a very good combination. Think of it this way… if you spend time in the kitchen, you’ve likely used a oven mitt or towel to pull a pan out of the oven at some point. Think of your hand as your stomach and the oven mitt as the PGs that are protecting you from the strong acids, or in this case the heat of that hot pan. Have you ever grabbed that hot pan with a towel or oven mitt that was wet? You feel the heat a LOT more than if that oven mitt was dry, right? That’s not the right way to protect yourself, not the way you’re supposed to use an oven mitt, right? You can do this a few times and you may be fine… but if you keep grabbing hot pans with a wet oven mitt, you’re just increasing your risk of eventually getting burnt. Does this mean if you take a single dose of an NSAID you will get an ulcer? Probably not. Under normal conditions it can take prolonged use before someone would develop an issue. But why risk it? When it comes to fever reduction and anti-inflammatory medications, there are alternatives. However, there may cases where the alternatives aren’t going to work for you. Maybe it’s allergies or other adverse reactions to the alternatives. Maybe your doctor has decided an NSAID is just plain going to be your best course of action. Does that mean you have to risk getting ulcers? No, there may be alternatives. There are NSAIDs out there that combine the active compound in the NSAID (usually diclofenac) with a synthetic prostaglandin called misoprasal. There are medications that combine the two into one prescription medication. Misoprasal can also be prescribed on it’s own, so there are options that may be worth asking your doctor about. There you have it… not sure if you were wondering about it or not, but now you know. And as they say… the more you know…

I tolerate up to 2 drinks in a social setting, but I don't drink on a regular basis. Due to the empty calories, I have alcohol only on special occasions, like the company holiday party. It's nice once in awhile as a treat, but I don't want alcohol to become a crutch for me.

My nutritionist scolded me when I told her I was eating them. Most are sweetened with sugar alcohol, which is good for diabetics as it doesn't affect glucose levels but still has a high caloric value. Most manufacturers don't include them in the carb count but she says they should. She suggested string cheese or veggies instead.

@@dsdesigna I'm sure no one meant any harm to the OP...it's just sometimes difficult to tell which forum you are posting in sometimes. I do have a question out of curiosity regarding the post op/lifestyle differences between DS and GB/VSG. How are the post op/lifestyle requirements different for the DS...besides the fact it is a malabsorbtive procedure which is in common with the GB? I've read just a little bit, but from what I've read Ive seen alcohol as something that can create a serious problem for those who have had DS. But coffee, which someone suggested, seems to create a risk for ulcers just like in other WLS...which is why I choose not to drink it anymore....

Same procedure of MGB, different doctor's rules. I am not to touch alcohol, coffee or tea again. Lucky for me I dont have a problem with that.

Check with your doctor about alcohol. They all seem to have differing instructions on that.

This is a good thread with a lot of good advice. I hit 4 months recently and felt the tick-tock of that honeymoon clock. @@CowgirlJane is right, I have to stay focused on this first year. Great advice. But I clearly did not get surgery on my brain because my brain is still very messed up. It still wants carbs and junk. @@VSGAnn2014 said something about consistency and I'm hoping with time and consistency that my brain will start to change. But I do stumble (sometimes into a piece of chocolate) and I get up, brush myself off and keep at it. I am stumbling a little less than before so that's positive. To the OP, you came back from vacation and posted on here for advice. That clearly shows you are ready to get back on track so good for you for brushing yourself off and getting back at it. I have a vacation planned in September (right around my 1 year mark) and am going to an all-inclusive resort (unlimited food and alcohol) so the advice provided in this post is very helpful for me. I don't love alcohol unless it's sugary so I need to plan on not drinking. I need to stick with my meals and not graze.

Years down the road and in small portions. Just remember food addiction is a real very hard thing to overcome, but with the tool you are about to receive you can do it!!! Several months after my surgery I couldn't figure out why I still wanted food when I wasn't hungry and if I ate it I got so sick. So I was looking up YouTube videos of other WLS perps and I watched one that put it all into perspective. She said a food addiction is the worst of all addictions if you think about it. A drug addict simply avoids the people and places their drug of choice is. Same for an alcoholic. A food addict has to eat to live. It was an ahh haa moment as well as a duh moment for me. Once I had the mindset I was eating 3 tiny meals a day my Protein and Water just to live and for no other reason I was the most successful. When you start thinking about food find a good distraction like walking for 5 minutes and drinking a bottle of water.

I usually intake a lot of Protein in my daily food journals. I realize this becomes more difficult after your portion sides decrease. I also do not smoke, drink soda, or drink alcohol. For the past month I have been trying to lower my carbs and making my protein choices more of the lean variety. I also switched from lactose milk to almond milk. I am very busy and my schedule is chaotic so the biggest challenge is trying to change my eating slower, chewing better, and actually sitting for a meal. I have noticed I have a tendency to stand and eat when I have a busy day! Like I said...I haven't met with my nut yet and that appointment isn't until next month but I have managed to loose 10lbs worth the changes I have made so I guess that's something.

I started eating in maintenance mode when I hit my surgeon's goal (BMI 26). I dropped another 22 pounds ((BMI 23) before my body finally stopped losing. I can gain 4-5 pounds by eating a lot of carbs and drinking alcohol (ie. holidays and vacation) but can lose it again just as quick going back to protein and veggies. I don't go to the gym or exercise, but I have a very active, physical job and lifestyle, so I didn't lose muscle mass. You can control what and how much you eat and how active you are, but in the end Your body is just going to find its new normal.

I don't understand the name calling. What is wrong with someone posting about responsibility...that's how I understood @tauruslady post. How easy is it to say, "Oh well, live a little!" This type of rationalization is what got most of us in trouble in the first place. Does "Living" have to equal food & alcohol? I Respect everyone's opinions but highly appreciate people who hold one another accountable for their actions. This is a public board...you cannot filter which responses you'd rather have and censure the rest.

So I had a weekend of being BAD in New Orleans. ???? I have lost 51 pounds since pre-op and ahead of goal. Last Wed. I flew into NO with hubs and OMG. I didn't eat as bad as I would pre-surgery by no means. BUT I didn't make the best choices either. Bloody Mary's, butter laden crab claws, and a 1/2 a beignet. I know, I'm going to hell right?? Lol No, would just love to hear from some of the vets that might have had the same lapse and was able to get right back on goal. Oh and for the pre-ops that want to know about eating post-op. Yes, for some you'll be able to eat what you want without getting sick. But no where near as much and alcohol doesn't have any different effect on me than before. I skipped the sugary mixes and drank straight liquor.

I'm on the "Liver Shrinking Diet" and am 8 lbs down in 10 days so if you're on something similar, then yeah that sounds about right. A lot of patients lose a good chunk of weight pre-op. My diet is 3 meals with Protein (any amount) and up to 2 cups of veggies (non starch) only. I am to avoid fruit ( ), dairy, nuts/nut milks, grains, starches, sugars, carbonated drinks, coffee, black or green tea, and alcohol. I'm supplementing my diet with Isopure Protein Drinks. No snacking, 64 oz Water minimum a day. It's hard because I work in an office setting and there are always donuts and bagels around but I am determined to do what I'm supposed to do to get to the next step. If my liver is still too large at my next appt I'll have to keep up this diet until it's small enough. I don't want to do anything that will delay me getting my surgery scheduled.

Oh I'm so glad I didn't watch the biggest loser. I would have been fuming based on what you all are saying about the put down once again of folks who've had WLS. There needs to be a concerted effort to show that those with WLS are able to keep the weight off better than those who have not had WLS. Then maybe it won't be seen as the easy way out but the more permanent solution. I bet if there was a surgery to help alcoholics stay away from the booze, there would be lots of those surgeries and it would be called a medical miracle. Why oh why are we put down for being fat, and then put down for being successful in losing/maintaining a healthy weight. You can't win for losing I guess. F**K 'em all.

I have not yet had surgery either but the journey thus far has taught me a lot about myself. Despite my issues with the psych doc I chose to do the evaluation, he said a lot that opened my eyes to my habits and tendencies. Knowing more about me has made my prayers different. Having friends and family who are supportive prayer warriors who don't care what I think and will tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear is a huge plus for me on this journey. I have also been introduced to food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous and though I've only been to one meeting so far, it was an extremely eye opening experience. I try to live by the serinity prayer and the Lord's prayer. It's funny, I started putting g those prayers together 20 some years ago as a child when u went to support a family member in alcoholics anonymous. I didn't fully understand their power until recently and they are a great comfort for me.

My thoughts: its viewed as the wrong way because people who are overweight brought it on themselves and should have to tackle it themselves. Well thats crap. If there were a surgical option for people with drug or alcohol addictions/problems no one would second guess the genius of it. There's a huge prejudice against fat and the media and ignorance fuel that fire. I struggle with telling people I've had WLS because in one way its none of their business but am I making it worse by acting ashamed by my choice? A real conundrum for me.

Natrol makes a strawberry chewable/dissolving Biotin. I'm like a 5 year old when it comes to Vitamins and pills. I want fruit flavors and dinosaur shapes if at all possible, lol. I go out to eat all the time. It's not a problem. I have a stomach the size of toddler. Does that stop toddlers from going out to eat? Nooooooo. They are everywhere you look. Are they all worked up because they can't eat a mountain of food? Nooooooo. None of them are feeling deprived. They're happy. You will be too. I get 3 full meals from an entree, a little less if I share with my pets when I get home. No one gives a damn if you clean your plate or not. It's all about the fun, going to a nice place and having good food. You can make good food choices from any menu. I very rarely drank before surgery and I found my alcohol tolerance has lessened, but every once in a while I will order a drink before dinner and have a few sips because I want to. Four or five sips of wine or a Cosmo while waiting for the food doesn't affect the food volume for me. I don't make an issue over what or how much or what I am eating and no one really notices. Of course my weight loss is really noticeable, but I have been talking about things like "the gym" and "watching what I eat" in general so the comments I do get are encouraging and playful in nature.

The regrets I have are in my head and related to food addiction... period. I miss being able to pig out on oh-so-yummy but horrible-for-me food that I used to love... for example this weekend is the Superbowl and our team is going to WIN.. GO HAWKS! My hubby will be making his famous nachos and I would love to chow down on some of those with everyone, along with all the other things that will be available but it can't happen because I will eat a tiny taste of a couple of things and feel completely full. Not to mention, no alcohol... so it kind of leaves me feeling left out sometimes I guess. But this feeling feels WAY BETTER than the feeling of being the fat girl in the room and self conscious and embarrassed and sick and tired and in pain and all of the medical conditions I dealt with so... that is what I remind that food addict when she creeps into my consciousness because I am going to look so cute in my new smaller size Seahawks Jersey and feel great while I watch my team take the Superbowl 2 years in a row! The regrets I do have are much smaller than the joys I have every day. I feel so blessed to have had this surgery and would do it again in a heartbeat!

I smoked for over 25 years, with a ~2 year quit in there but went right back to smoking during a stressful time period... that being said, I quit completely a bit over 2 months before my surgery. I haven't gone back either, and I miss smoking and still think about it almost daily even tho I'm more than 110 days clean. And I can't promise that I'm forever quit since I do miss it so much. But here's the thing: I know that I'm an addict. I don't really miss it; that's the addiction talking. It's just like being an alcoholic. I can't have just one smoke or do it for a little while and quit again. I will always struggle with staying off cigarettes and I recognize that, and will do my very best to make sure I don't pick it back up again because it will hurt my health and likely kill me if I do. So yeah, totally conflicted but hanging on as hard as I can to my quit because I deserve to be healthy - despite that stupid addiction. There are no benefits from smoking - zero, zilch, nada. I had weight loss surgery because I also had issues with food and eating and I want to be healthy and live an active and enjoyable life with my husband. Being morbidly obese wasn't conducive to that idea, and neither is smoking. There is no good reason to smoke, and I've witnessed two family members die a slow, agonizing smoking related death... I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. And yet I still have that insane little voice inside that just wants a damned cigarette. Irrational and stupid, but that's what an addiction is. You can't get any more blatant than that. So that is just one more reason to not smoke - because I am not going to be thought of (in my own mind anyway) as a stupid person. And using an e-cig is just as bad if not worse. All you're doing is changing the method of delivery and still putting poison into your body while fooling yourself into believing that it is healthy. They're still in the early days of studying the health effects and the news coming out now is NOT good. Saying they're safer than cigarettes (even using the no nicotine cartridges) is like saying that playing with one poisonous snake is safer than playing with 10 of them... they are still dangerous. http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/California-Declares-E-Cigs-Are-Health-Threats-290104881.html https://www.sciencenews.org/article/health-risks-e-cigarettes-emerge I quit using the Allen Carr method (the vids are available up on youtube) and a phone app (Butt Out only available on iphones unfortunately, but there are plenty of quit apps) and told myself that the quit was temporary until I got healed from surgery. But I'm sticking with it as long as I can, because I know I feel better now than when I was smoking, and frankly it's nice to not be coughing and wheezing, have warm fingers and toes, and not smell nasty (and yes, you do smell nasty ALL OF THE TIME to non-smokers - that sh!t is in your hair, your clothes, embedded in your skin... I can smell smokers a mile away now, and had friends tell me the same thing). Look, I'm not telling anyone to quit smoking. You have to be an adult to smoke anyway, so I'm assuming that you know enough to know that it's got no benefits, is harmful to your health and you're wasting money and throwing away years of your life to do something that is in essence a nasty habit that will cripple and then kill you in the end. Only you can decide if you're worth quitting for - no one can do it for you. But if you just went through something as extreme as weight loss surgery, you have to care a little about getting your health and well-being back on track!

For me there are several shades of green -- it's definitely more of a range or a zone then whatever pinnacle I sought to achieve at the start of this adventure. Like others, some days I am not hungry at all. I am never hungry before mid-day, and because my "rule" is to eat when I'm hungry and not eat if I'm not hungry, I just skip breakfast and enjoy my tea. I am always able to drink well and am even something of a glugger. Lately coffee (new to me) and sometimes tea can make my band noisy -- a throat gurgling that I find embarrassing. I still really enjoy food but part of that is my identity as a cook. I love food preparation and presentation. Often I will make something that I end up not wanting to eat but that is fine with me. I enjoy the process anyway. For example I made polenta the other day for the snowstorm. It's beautifully done with homemade stock, onions and garlic from our own garden, but one bite and I could see that, like rice, it's not band-friendly for me. I don't eat rice and don't miss it. Once in a blue moon I will have a taste of gluten-free Pasta but otherwise I don't eat pasta either. I have no cravings for foods I used to want before. I wouldn't try eating pizza because, to me, it's just not something I want and it's likely it would get stuck anyway. I haven't been officially stuck for quite a while but in my early months I had to learn a lot of behavioral modification. I eat with a very small shrimp fork and I have a long baby spoon I like for my yogurt, etc. When I eat yogurt, I mix in a little GF Cereal and some nuts, usually chia as well for digestion, and this makes it not be a slider for me. I know that chewing is the key to my satiety. I have a few weaknesses and do not restrict myself as that was a mentality that did nothing to serve me in the past. I often have to remind myself that I AM NOT ON A DIET. It's a mental thing with me. If there's something I want, I go ahead and have a bite. A friend brought a homemade carrot cake to a dinner the other night and I had my one bite just to be able to comment on it -- I really had no desire for even that bite, much less more. And I didn't even think of trying the frosting. The sugar may have set me off and there is no reason to set myself up for anything like that when I'm ambivalent in the first place. My weaknesses include cheese, which can be a slider for me, olives -- but I can have only a couple and take a long time to savor them. I do drink alcohol. Mostly I guess for me the green zone is about being able to really listen to my body because there is no distraction of my brain harping away about food.....that dialogue in my head has been eliminated and I am free to just live. I love that! I do not obsess about Protein, though I do love protein. Salmon is something I often order out in the world. I love beef, I cook with chicken thighs rather than breasts for the most part -- I make a lot of chilis and stews. If there's anything I miss it might be the giant salad lifestyle. You know, the HUGE bowl of salad (plenty of olive oil, of course) and really tearing into it. Well, if missing being a salad pig is my crisis, I guess I'm doing pretty well! Back to the unpredictability of my green zone -- there are times when I plan something, like going out to lunch, and have no appetite -- and other times when I am suddenly hungry. I eat then and I have to have it fast. My husband often fries me an egg for these occasions. It's as though when that urge comes on it needs to be immediate. Love it that my body tells me what it needs and all I have to do is follow.

I think number three is a biggie and number 5 strongly correlates. Just show some willpower, just move more, just cut out the sugar or cheese or alcohol or whatever. Ugh. That said, I see a difference from when I was banded in 2008 to my revision this month. Whether its due to the AMA classification of obesity as a disease or the recognition by the medical community that for many people the only route to long term success is surgery or the numbers of people undergoing surgery and seeing success or insurance realizing lower expenses from healthier people following WLS, I think there's been a perceptual change.

I've posted this thread in 2 other topics just to vent and hopefully help others not make my mistakes so if you see it more than once I'm sorry, getting this off my chest to more people just makes me feel better. Before you have gastric bypass they warn you of a few things. 1. You can gain the weight back 2. Alcoholism is a possible side effect after surgery 3. food that used to fill you up or make you sick won't do that as much after awhile 4. Smoking cigarettes causes ulcers post-op My mom always says no matter how much I'm warned - I've always had to learn every lesson the hard way. Gastric bypass was that way too. My story is just a warning for all you guys out there - it's true, I'm the prime example of all the stuff they warn you about. Hey, I'm Kaylee and I had my surgery when I was 20 years old on June 11, 2012. I was 280lbs. In less than 8 months I got down to 150 lbs, 130lbs lost. For the first 9 months I was insanely strict. If it wasn't a lean Protein or a non-starchy vegetable I wouldn't eat it. Couldn't pay me to eat a carb. While this is good health wise and I'm sure made my surgical team sing - it was the start of my inevitable failure. I was so strict that after awhile all the foods I had denied myself even a nibble of became so enticing I felt ravenous. My first screw up was picking up smoking again almost a year after I quit. Pure stupidity, I was just bored and thought I could do it socially, wrong. Got ulcers and have had them for over a year and a half. Without acid reducer pills I'm in a lot of pain. Breaking that golden rule led me to break other rules because hey, I already screwed up right? I started having those forbidden foods I had not allowed myself to even look at for such a long time. Bites turned into mouth fulls turned into plate fulls. Then came introducing wine back into my life. I suffer from depression and when you don't have to put effort into getting drunk anymore it is so appealing. I fought depression with wine and started drinking every single night - going through a box of wine every 3 days or so. I then moved from sunny south Florida, away from all my friends, to cold Missouri in the middle of January 2014. I fell into a deep depression and my drinking got worse, and since I was waiting for all my stuff to arrive in the moving truck I lived off hot pockets, bagels, pretty much anything I could toss in a microwave or toaster. I ate crap, drank daily and smoked like a chimney for pretty much the entire year of 2014, all the while pretending my scale didn't exist and convincing myself my clothes were shrinking and I wasn't getting bigger. I was too ashamed and terrified to look at the scale. I finally got up the courage to face what I had done to myself the start of January 2015 and got on the scale. 204lbs. In the span of one year I had gained 54lbs. I felt disgusted with myself and cried for days and days and beat myself up emotionally. I failed everyone, especially myself. But nothing good comes from beating yourself up over what you cannot take back. I can't take back living on bagels and wine for an entire year. What I can do is fight to get back to 150lbs though. So on January 12 I quit smoking, quit drinking every day and have reduced it to just Saturday's with my boyfriend at home versus my downtown-bad-habit-factory, and have gotten close to back to basics but allow myself some freedom - for example for lunch on days I work out I let myself have my chicken and veggies inside a wrap [carbs are my crack] instead of depriving myself of anything I want. I want very badly to get back down to 150lbs... I'm terrified I never will and have somehow ruined this "one and only chance" I've made up in my head. Like I had this wonderful gift of being thin and now that I messed it up I'll never get it back, but I know that type of thinking won't help me. So I'm going to keep going and hopefully someday get back to it. If you've actually made it this far, thank you, I really needed to get this horrible guilt off my chest. I feel like an absolute failure but getting it out helps. So if I can give you guys any advice: 1. Yes you can gain it back, I'm an example. 2. Becoming an alcoholic is a real risk you need to watch out for post op. 3. You will be surprised how much food you can get into your body if you really try 4. If you quit smoking never pick it up again, I didn't even have a desire to smoke and managed to become a pack a day smoker again within a month. Not even one after you quit. And most of all - NEVER EVER stop using your scale. I ignored what I was doing for so long and that's how I ended up gaining the amount I did. If I had just looked a couple months before and saw 175lbs I would've done what I'm doing now back then. I would have never let it get this bad if I had just swallowed my pride and looked. I'm lucky that I caught myself when I did because I was headed towards being morbidly obese again. Good luck to you all - try not to make all the mistakes I did. Here's to hoping I can look like this again