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Clearly it's a difficult decision. As a vet, three years out and here on this forum for four years, I can say that I've seen maybe FIVE people come back a couple years out and say they're still easily maintaining with no regains and no issues. Will the sleeve help your daughter lose weight? Indubitably. But as many of us determine after life at goal, being thin does not equate with being happy, even if we convince ourselves it's the one thing keeping us from loving ourselves. We're talking about a number of issues here. I say this as a mom/stepmom of six daughters - there is absolutely no right or easy answer here. Things to consider: 1) Has she done other methods to lose weight? There are a few reasons I ask. Did they work for me? NO. But they built a foundation and forced me to exercise willpower. Few people succeed with traditional dieting but WLS should not be the first time she actually tries to lose weight. Instant gratification in this can lead to issues everywhere else in her life. 2) Why is she obese? Is it solely genetics? There is more here than just food. Being skinny and all of a sudden being accepted by her peers will be just as damaging as being rejected by them, and will reinforce the idea that beauty/thinness equates with love/happiness/popularity. 3) Teens are the most impulsive and irresponsible creatures. Truly. Consider transfer addictions like drugs and alcohol. Experimenting with these things is now the norm, not the exception. I am not saying whether or not it's "right" to do this. I think no matter what you decide that counseling is imperative, and lots of it. I think that at fourteen as a morbidly obese teen myself I would have wanted this surgery. As the mother of an obese little girl (age five) who has four older, attractive and yes, svelte sisters, I can absolutely understand and relate to your concerns. I posted about it at length in the "VSG as a preventative" in the Vet forum. If being obese as a teen is damaging, so is having the idea that your entire worth and likeabilty as a person is tied up in your appearance. Adult women post here all the time about being treated differently and the trust and confidence issues it causes once you shed the weight. I say wait at least until she's sixteen and reevaluate then, but that is what I would do with my own daughter. And I would keep her in counseling until that age, too, because there are underlying issues here if she has social anxiety. I would be sure she really understands - not just the challenges and the diet - but that this is FOREVER. That's not a very easy to comprehend thing for some of the grown ups here, and many of them struggle in maintenance as a result. And what if it DOESN'T resolve her obesity? There's a vet here sleeved the same time as me who still has sixty pounds to lose and is still (I think) considered obese by the BMI chart. She's having big troubles reconciling that and trying to figure out a way to shed the weight. There are other vets here that are still trying to lose the last thirty pounds or so to goal, too. We're talking THREE YEARS out. If your gal thinks this is an easy fix, it's really not. Best of luck to you. I'd wait but I know that it will be a challenge if she's excited and wants it right now. Sometimes we have to do what's best - and this really isn't the easy solution I'm pretty sure she thinks it will be. Just follow a diet and eat less and be skinny - I wish it were that easy! ~Cheri

What does your surgeon/nut say about alcohol? That's who you should listen to.

some people get that from eating too many carbs - or from eating things with sugar alcohols in them (sugar alcohols are in "sugar free" items and usually end in -itol. Like xylitol. Or sorbitol. I can tolerate them just fine, but some people get really gassy when they eat them.

Honestly I hadn't thought about focusing on stress relief but you are right if I learn to manage the stress it may help manage the eating triggers. The kids and I are going to attend a counseling works support group which starts in Sept. No offense about the alcohol. I'm aware of the research and that does worry me which why I brought it up here. Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I did "better" this week but still a way from back on track.

Many people don’t understand the obese person’s journey with food. Nor can they relate to actually being under the influence of the intense food cravings, but ask any alcoholic or drug addict what these cravings feel like, and a food addict will be able to recount a very similar craving. The substance most craved with food addicts is sugar, and anyone who has tried to remove sugar from their diet knows how incredibly difficult that can be. The majority of food addicts have been brought up with another addiction. Maybe their parents were alcoholics, abusive, gamblers, smokers or hoarders. The child learned it was safer to turn to food or some other substance for comfort, because turning to a human for a hug or soothing words was impossible. Many food addicts lose weight to get married, only to find that they don’t have the skills to communicate loneliness, boredom, or anxiety to their partner. They slowly begin to turn to what has helped soothe them in the past, which is food. Before long, communication is compromised in the relationship. There is severe weight gain, which begins a disastrous cycle of withdrawing from sex, and turning to food. Soon the partner isn’t happy and the food addict feels shameful and guilty. These feelings of guilt and shame lock the cycle of turning to food even more securely. Weight loss surgery can help minimize disease and help people become more confident and mobile, but if there is an underlying sugar or food addiction, the weight will be re-gained. Sometimes that is in excess of eighty pounds. How can you help if you are addicted, married or know a food addict during the holidays? The key is to plan now. Realize that your partner or friend has a bigger problem than just eating too much. They need professional help, and they need it now. Find out who is on your plan for insurance and what it allows for help with eating disorders. Begin journaling your intake and talk to your partner about journaling theirs as well. This helps you become a team and to feel supported. Encourage your partner to begin turning to you for comfort or if you are alone, have someone who can accompany you to the party. Stay close to them, and when you feel alone turn to them for conversation or hold their hand. This helps delay your sense of needing food. Help them join a food addiction group, and if they are your partner, go with them if they need your support. There are several in Houston, and “Over Eaters Anonymous” offers a 12-step program for food addicts. Your partner suffers shame and guilt every day. Try to remember this, and be gentle. There is a lot of secrecy in this disorder. If they let you in, respect that. Food addicts are hurt, and we as a society can become part of the problem or part of the solution. Most addicts of food (and other addictions) have an enabler. The enabler complains about the behavior, but also supplies the fix. People who are co-dependent or have a low self-esteem may derive their security from enabling an addict. If you live with a food addict, or you suffer a food addiction, the best thing you can do prior to going to the party or being with friends where a lot of food will be present is to have a plan. Set a time limit for yourself at the party and have someone you are accountable to who helps you stay on track. –Mary Jo Rapini *As with all addictions, interventions only work if the addict wants to heal. Harping, nagging and pleading will be met with resistance to change until the addict is ready to make the change.

BTW....post op wind pain can be awful. In the Alex they give you peppermint tea but it doesn't work. From getting home I got peppermint cordial (from tesco in the alcohol aisle). A warm glass first thing in the morning got rid of any wind for the day and really helped getting fluids down. I still have a glass every morning. Sent from my SM-G935F using the BariatricPal App

My go to stress reliever for the past MANY years has been alcohol. Did the gym thing when I was younger but it was always kicking back with my boys throwing some back that always took the edge off. Well look at me now. More than 200 pounds over weight and a full fledged alcoholic. The past 3+ years have been the worse as I started having back issues which led me to not be able to work anymore and not provide an income for my family. More weight gain more pain and more drinking. This is the 1st year since I can remember that i'm not getting wasted every night. Not sure what finally flipped the switch but I don't want to die anymore. I still drink but I've come along way from what I was doing. Will completely stop soon, who knows maybe last week was my last. But know for sure if I do get approved for this surgery It is over. Hope to bring the gym back into my life and other activities that can be the new stress reliever.

I go for my first fill next Tuesday. I do not know how many cc's I will receive. I don't believe I received any during the surgery. I have lost 27 lbs. and yes, I wish it would come off faster also but then I realize that it didn't come on overnight so it will not come off overnight. I am walking on my treadmill at least 30 to 40 minutes 5 days a week. My doctor didn't tell me how many calories, fats, proteins, etc. to watch. Just to follow his instructional sheets, which were clear liquids, regular liquids, mushies, and now weeks 4-8 anything but bread, rice, fibrous vegetables, red meat and pork. Also, no carbonated or alcoholic beverages. Make sure I drink 64 oz of fluid, 32 which needs to be water. It does get discouraging at times but then I come on here and read the encouraging notes and I get pumped again.

I don't doubt anything you've said, but I have to say my experience couldn't have been any more different. I felt like I was on a fairly strict diet for 6 weeks before surgery, but it was easy because I stopped drinking alcohol. After surgery, I had no pain, no side effects, and no hunger. I followed the 30 day post opt diet to a T and by 6 weeks out, I eased back to a normal life, just ate less. Oh yeah, never had a second thought, mood swing, or anything but joy over the new me! The only thing I wish I'd known was how easy it would all be. I would have done it 20 years ago!

So, here are a few things I wish I had known before I had my surgery (I was sleeved 5/23/16): The gas...oh my goodness, the gas. It hurts, it stinks, and sometimes you can't trust a fart. Lovely. Surgery doesn't make it easier to lose weight. It actually makes it more complicated! Protein, carbs, sugar, fat...It's all scientific now. If I don't get my protein, I hold Fluid and don't lose weight. If I eat sugar, I don't lose weight. If I don't get all my Water for the day, I feel hungry, tired, and--you guessed it--I don't lose weight. I even landed in the ER getting 4 bags of fluid and a CT scan to check for complications. And my insurance got a bill for $7,000. After the one they got for $29,000 just a month previous...more on that later... Mood swings from hell will descend upon you, and you will be powerless over it at first. Now, I am learning that I tend to cry right before a stall breaks. Fat stores hormones that have to go somewhere when the fat goes...extra PMS? Yes, please! NOT. Yes ladies, your period may go completely haywire for a while. FUN... Speaking of stalls...the weight won't always come off in a predictable pattern. It may not come off as fast as you want it to. If you stick to your plan, you will lose weight, but along the way you will stall. You may not lose anything for a while, even though you're doing everything right. You will get concerned, you may think the surgery isn't working, but if you stick to your plan the weight will come off. On it's own schedule, though, not yours. The human body is incredibly complex and very good at learning how to NOT starve. Some people believe in starvation mode, some don't, but don't test it. You don't want to get sick and malnourished. You may need to exercise more and log your food to make sure you haven't slipped up, but the stall will break. Eventually... You will become acutely aware that people who know you had the surgery are watching you. Watching what you eat, when you eat it, and how much of it you eat. Watching to see if you lose weight, and if you don't lose weight FAST, everybody has an opinion about whether or not you should have had the surgery and if it will work, and you may hear horror stories about somebody's friend/sister/brother/cousin/coworker who had the surgery and gained all the weight back. Or never lost it at all. Stick to your plan, and remember why you made the decision to have surgery. Be ready to avoid toxic people as necessary. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. So be careful who you tell. If you are married, consider your spouse's feelings. Talk about it. You will need them on your side if at all possible. If they aren't, it could be problematic. Be ready to have hard conversations and make decisions based on those conversations. You may learn things about your relationship that you never knew, which can be good or bad. You will have regrets. Mostly in the beginning, but be ready to wonder what in the hell you were thinking when you had this surgery. It's hard! There is an overwhelming temptation to believe that this was supposed to be easier. It's not. It's effective, but it's a lot of work and it takes a lot of self-discipline. People may judge you and say that you took "the easy way out". See the previous paragraph. And then see the second paragraph. You may have to educate a few people. Or tell them to get lost, your choice. If you didn't already know it, you may find out that you have a serious problem with food. Get that fixed, and do it before you waste a lot of time and heartache. Go to therapy. The surgery will NOT fix your brain. I cannot stress this enough! You will find out that food is the glue that holds our lives together. We Celebrate with it, we mourn with it, we reward ourselves with it, and sometimes our social lives revolve around it. All of that has to change. Food is fuel. Period. You will not enjoy eating out for a while, if ever. The portions are RIDICULOUS, and most of it is nothing you should be eating anyway. "I'll just have a small salad..." No, you won't, not for a while. You won't be able to eat raw vegetables for a long time, and never before your doctor clears it. It's the last step. And it may be never for certain foods. BECAUSE... Your taste will change. What your stomach can tolerate will (obviously) change for a long time, and maybe forever in some aspects. You may hate what you once loved and love what you once hated. Go with it. And get over your addiction to caffeine, because that has to go, too. Not forever, but your surgeon will have an opinion about when it's okay again. If you smoke, a reputable surgeon will not do weight loss surgery on you. They will most likely test you for nicotine, so don't cheat, just quit. You won't heal as well and it's just plain bad for you. You will have no vices for a long time. Because...you can't drink alcohol either! Not for a LONG time. Just look that one up, because I quit drinking a long time ago and I don't even care about this part. Except: you may trade old addictions for new ones. You may need therapy to fix this. If food was a coping mechanism for you, you had better have a plan for new coping skills. BECAUSE... This is stressful as hell, if you hadn't figured that out. You hair may come out. Be ready. Biotin is rumored to help, but it isn't a sure thing. You will need to take Vitamins for the rest of your life. Don't be cheap and skimp on this one. You need bariatric vitamins. Deficiencies can set you back in significant ways. It's not worth it. Take your vitamins. Now. If you're still reading this, you may think I am one hell of a "Negative Nelly". Nope! I am a realist. You should be scared. You should think long and hard before you have weight loss surgery. If you even qualify for surgery, you've cleared a significant obstacle. If your insurance covers it, that's another significant obstacle out of the way. Soooo...If you have a surgeon willing to do it, and you can get insurance to pay for it (or if you can make it happen as self-pay) DO IT. If you still want to have weight loss surgery despite knowing how much it can suck, then you will probably do well. BECAUSE... IT'S WORTH IT. All of it.

I'm about 4 months out. I still drink carbonation every once in a while. Usually it's in the form of a sip or two of my fiancé's drink. Drinking too much of it leads to pain in my shoulder. Alcohol - usually have a glass at night. It's empty wasted calories so that has slowed my progress down but it's enjoyable experience and doesn't make me feel like I'm on a restricted diet. I hardly drink beer now. Between the higher calorie content and the carbonation it's just not worth it for me.

Atkins bars are 220 calories and 10 gms fat. Also contains sugar alcohols which effect blood sugars.

I was not commenting on the effects of sugar alcohol, and xylitol. Also thank you for posting peer reviewed evidence as far too many people don't understand the importance of peer review. I always read real research ( peer reviewed), and never get sucked into the fitness woo( pseudoscience), and bro science. My advise also comes from my surgeons, and an outstanding registered dietitian, and not a nutritionist as nutritionist is not a professional title or actually certification. Net carbs does not have any actually scientific backing, and was created for marketing. There is no standard for how net carbs are counted on packaging or printed. All the current research does support the concept of net carbs. While xylitol for example has little effect on blood sugar, many packages use sugar alcohol as their reason to off set carbs in their net carbs calculation. That is very bad, and can be dangerous for some with diabetes. There is a reason net carbs don't appear on the nutrition labels. That's because it is not a regulated term by the FDA. It's a made up term by food manufacturers. It's also important to understand not all sugar alcohols are equal. Some do raise blood sugar. So how does the lay person know which raise blood sugar, and which don't? How do you calculate the net carbs not knowing if the sugar alcohol in that product has a higher glycemic index? You also need to be careful subtracting fiber in some products. Should someone subtract fiber to figure out net carbs? Well if they do that, and eat protein bars they need to be careful. Most protein bars use a form of fiber isomalto-oligosaccharides(IMO). IMO is highly processed and barely a fiber. On the glycemic index it is also equivalent to grapefruit or apple juice. I wouldn't call either of those low glycemic index. IMO also has 2 calories per gram. That counts for something. The point of my post is you need to be very careful with net carbs. You seem informed, and as such my post was directed at you, but it was for people who may just think net carbs printed on packages are what they can go by. It's much safer to count all carbs, and more important calories.

The difference is the effect on blood sugar levels and insulin response. Whether that is why you avoid carbs or not is a personal preference. But that is why I, and many plans, don't count them. This is an article with plenty of peer reviewed scientific articles quoted, with the pubmed links included-- https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/sugar-alcohols-good-or-bad#section4 And here's a rather dense scientific peer reviewed article about the metabolic effects of xylitol- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3128359/ Interestingly the scientists have also shown links to positive effects on gut bacteria, bone density and collagen production! So, the science community quoted in this article doesn't think it's BS, they aren't marketing anything. Read, do research and make an informed decision. Or go by your surgical teams' plan... you trusted them to cut you open, trust their dietary advise over the advise of strangers on the internet.

Trigger Warning: ..............................Yes. My dad is a food pusher. We have a very strained relationship now but growing up he would make 3 different dinners at once and have me eat a bit of all of it and then call me fat and bully me. He use to buy packs and packs of ramen noodles and hide them in my things like my desk/book bag/purse as I started becoming overweight as a child. I still can't eat ramen to this day because it brings me back to those moments. Hed tell me how ugly and fat I was but then push huge amounts of food on me. He's from a country where food is unstable and grew up incredibly poor so when he came to the US and saw how abundant food was he constantly buys food and cooks. He's a big reason why I had a bad relationship to food for so long/why im still working through it and why I still have self esteem issues. He's thin and in shape but has a serious problem with alcohol. I didn't tell him about my surgery because a) he wouldn't understand given a language barrier and he's treated me horribly over the years because I'm fat and the last thing I want is to hear those words but about my surgery. He's picked up on the fact that I had a weight loss procedure done. He tries to mend our relationship but still offers food because he doesn't know how else to show love. He offers me healthy stuff now but I simply just decline because I'm not ready to explain anything to him or become closer. Sent from my SM-G975U using BariatricPal mobile app

My surgeon said to wait one year for all of those things. I have no urges for anything carbonated since surgery. In fact the thought of carbonated beverages is a real turn off. I dont think that anything is off the table for ever. They do prefer you not use alcohol or sodas due to empty calories and the damages they can do to your stomach.

If I hear one more time that people can't be addicted to food, I'll scream. If the above story does not make folks understand that this is as powerful an addiction as any other drug, I don't know what will convince them. While my story is not as harrowing as yours, I too put myself in very difficult circumstances due to the excess weight I carried. I watched a program last night about a morbidly obese woman in Miami on the TLC channel and she was so frustrating because she did not seem to take her situation seriously and was looking at WLS as an easy fix. She was told over and over that she was risking her health and unfortunately she did die shortly after having WLS. It was a frustrating and heartbreaking hour I spent watching this train wreck. Usually they have an epiphany and start to make positive changes..but not this woman. And then she paid the ultimate price by dying. I suspect many of us have had those moments...where we knew this was a life or death situation. I definitely can't pretend I don't have an addiction, but it's mostly sugar addiction over quantity or quality. Even when I tried to be good and kept the cupboards and fridge clean of sweets, I'd get desperate enough to eat sugar out of the bag. It's sad because I've always been so careful to never drink alcohol, smoke, or do drugs because I've seen the power of addiction and how they lose control of themselves, but the one thing I never thought to protect myself from is what I became addicted to. hoping when I get the bypass that I get lasting relief from it. I've had horrific side effects from fat and dairy when I had my gallbladder out so the idea of possibly dumping will be a good motivator to not cave besides my kids.

I had mine on the 20th as well! The throat was never sore, but it was raspy for the first few days. The gas pain persists but I'm hanging in there. Today is the first day I've felt human. We're even going to a movie tonight (one of those nice places that bring you food and alcohol ... yeah, I'm taking a protein shake in my purse. Lame.)

Enlighten me @@Loristi Sounds like you are pre-op??? saying on the board - "one thing we have in common is that we're all different" docs and NUTS have different rules about things some of "them" say no coffee - "never, ever" others say after a certain time period you can have alittle coffee some say no alcohol for 6 months others say............. wait 6 months, 6 weeks, 6 days, 6 minutes etc - .. soda - some/many say NO, NO, NO others say ................. no straws, others say its ok sex - some might say wait til you feel ok, then take it slowly, easy for awhile (no crazy acrobats!) other docs might say NO NO NO to sex forever!!!! gotcha!!!! so..........the answer to your question (oh no, what was your question again LOL) alcohol - soda - never say never!!!! unless doc says so i drink coffee,no alcohol, straws or soda/carbonation for this grammy listen to your NUT and surgeon ALWAYS like they were amongst the highest power!!! good luck with surgery kathy

I applaud that you are asking questions in advance to get more information. Like most Drs. lists, mine says "Make smart choices". My Dr's list also says avoid soda, beer and other alcoholic beverages along with gum and straws. In discussion, he really wants patients to avoid carbonation. Good thing for me, I enjoy a good whiskey ????. At 5 weeks out, I have no desire for carbonation or alcohol, and trust me, I to had that heavy addiction to Diet Mountain Dew all day long and more than an occasional beer in the evenings. I always had a tin of gum in my purse and variety in my desk drawer at work. Those are gone now replaced by breath strips, spray and tictacs. I will have to judge in the future how to live my life in moderation, which I've proven in the past is quite difficult for me. I started on this path with my new teeny tiny tummy with the goal to be above average with my weight loss and retention of that loss for the long-term. If that means no more beer or Mountain Dew for me? Well then so be it. I choose to do without and excel in my goals.

I'm 17 months postop, have lost 95# but still want to lose 13# more to get to my goal. I eat 800-1,000kcal/day (my doc said to stay within this range forever)...try to get 65-75g protein, low carb, low fat, no carbonated drinks, no alcohol and 3-4 bottles of water/day. I can eat about 1 c. of food/meal...if I eat too much, too quickly or drink while eating, my stomach will SCREAM at me and say STOP THAT! I exercise 2 hrs (cardio and weight training) every other day which helps with calories.

Almost 4 years since my sleeve. Reached goal at 6 months. Exceeded it by another 10/11kg & have basically maintained +/- a kilo or two. Didn’t have co morbidities before my surgery. Didn’t really stall in the truest sense - just odd couple of days with no loss. No complications. Have low blood pressure but always had a tendency towards it. Gone from a couple of times a month to every day. (My higher weight probably kept my BP in the normal range.) Had my gall out about two years after my sleeve but not necessarily related to my weight loss. Still don’t eat rice, pasta, bread, potatoes. They sit heavily in my tummy. Don’t miss them. I have a glass of sparkling water every day but I let it go fairly fiat. Occasionally I’ll have a glass of champagne or have soda or tonic water as a mixer but no other carbonated drinks. Don’t drink much alcohol any more (a glass once a month+/-). Not that I can’t, just not interested. I have loose skin. Not a lot. Can’t really be seen under my clothes … unless you look closely.😉 I wear body conscious dresses without needing shape wear to control the loose skin. No regrets.

Hormones, and metabolism play a big role in that "honeymoon" phase. The first 6 months, the sleeve hasn't typically matured to full capacity, so weight loss is hell of a lot easier because there just isn't room for mush of anything except Protein. Of course, if you continue to make all the "right" decisions, you continue to follow all the rules for the first 12-18 months, you'll continue to lose weight, but more often than not, sleeve size changes, more food goes in, old habits creep back in, and poor food choices seem to be the culprit. Also, metabolic changes occur once the weight comes off. As for losing weight after goal, I've found it to be pretty easy. That might not always be the case, but I can pinpoint a solid gain(not Water weight) to my indulgences typically with alcohol and social eating which I do a lot. . For me, I have yet to have trouble losing weight. Even in the pregnancy, I've lost a few pounds when I was concerned about the rate of gain I was seeing on the scale. Just my $0.02 worth on the "honeymoon phase" of WLS.

I agree with the above...all of them LOL I haven't touched carbonated beverages since my surgery, I don't miss them at all, and I was a 2 liter (minimum) a day Diet Coke drinker...when I gave it up for my liquid diet, I never looked back, and I don't regret giving it up...don't miss it at all. I really thought that would be a hard habit to break... At the Success Habits workshop that we had to attend prior to surgery, Nisa put a balloon over the top of a bottle of coke, and it filled with gas, without any help...she said she left it on her desk one time to see how long it would stay filled...she said it stayed for 3 days before she dumped it...3 days of AIR in your tummy!!! NO THANKS. Decaf iced tea for me, or Torani syrups added ... As for alcoholic beverages, was never a big drinker, so I don't miss that AT ALL...empty calories and carbs.... but as stated, I will never say never...who knows what tomorrow may bring... you just have to live in the moment!

I can agree to disagree I just can't see not legalizing it because it MAY be harmful to others, through my research I find the benefit outweigh the risks. I don't know what I would have done during radiation treatments not having it, I was very sick without it. Everything and anything may be harmful to others. Stress and driving while tired is harmful. I just don't see how we can ban something that has been proven to have medicinal benefits where as things like alcohol and tobacco do not but they are legal and socially acceptable. We can't guarantee people won't drink and drive, text and drive, or drive tired, or under the influence of prescription medication (all extremely dangerous). all we can do is encourage people not to and educate them on making the right decision and enforce the laws that come with those rights.