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Off the rails…. If you don’t know me, let me tell you a bit about me. I am a hyper organized, slightly obsessive perfection seeking mad woman. OK that all sounds really bad. In reality I’m just a person who strives to do 10001 things in the course of a day where the hours don’t quite add up to the tasks at hand. I will say 9 out of 10% of the time the balls I am juggling successfully meet their mark and as one leaves occasionally another pops in to take its place and that’s OK because I am one of those people who gets bored when things are too “easy”. All that said…lately life has been more of a challenge and when I hit the mark with one thing it seems there are 3-5 more things that need juggling. I’m battling and to be honest I can’t even catch my breath at this point. What the hell am I doing?!! Over the last few weeks I have been going through some very emotional events, and I am finding myself trying to really understand what the heck is going on. I don’t understand people for the most part, the things they do and say and why…? I often wonder if anyone stops to ask themselves why they are doing and saying the things they are. Ah well what does any of this have to do with Weight Loss and Weight Loss Surgery? Well for me…right now it has to do with the fact that I think I have had a head on collision and my car is now off the rail. My band is in there begging me to stop stop stop and you know I just want it to shut the hell up! I want to eat eat eat!!! I don’t care about losing weight! Why am I not losing weight I asked myself as I stepped on the scale this morning?! You don’t care about losing weight remember screamed my band as I tried to guzzle down my morning coffee only for it to come flying back out my nose. OK. OK. I take a breath, clean it up resume and pick up speed I have things to do dam it! My mind is reeling and I have to tell you I am utterly exhausted. Why….let me explain because if I don’t then I fear that I am not going to be able to do this. I have been reading, taking classes and studying a lot over the past few weeks about addiction. My son is an addict. His drug of choice is heroin. I have come to REALLY HATE this expression “drug of choice”. Makes me think of a Burger King where you can drive up and have it your way!! I am going through this trial by fire here because it’s about as painful as a 3rd degree burn, and I’m questioning where the hell this kid got this addictive behavior from when you know (this is where my collision happened)….I’m not as innocent here as I would like to believe I am. No I’m not nor have I ever been a drug addict or an alcoholic heck I don’t even smoke and never have, but my “drug of choice” is food. Yep, because no matter right now how much my band is cinching on me…my head is looking and calling and looking and craving FOOD. The more stress I give myself the more distractions I am throwing at myself to “hide” or sooth how I am feeling the tighter my band gets and the harder it is for me to eat and the more adapt my brain is at finding foods that are high in calorie and fat that just melt in your mouth!! Ha! HA! Band I beat you!!! What….wait….what was that??? Hold on. The only thing that’s winning here is my addiction to self-destructive behavior in the form of distractions, food, sugar, salt, and fat!! They know my name and where I live!! I am not hiding or as “busy” and invisible or unavailable as I keep trying to make myself. Nope…I have painted a big red target on myself and walked the chocolate expo begging the chocolate covered bacon to marry me! (Ok that was just a dream, I stayed away from the expo which was REAL so is chocolate covered bacon which I have never eaten, and I hope I never do because I might need a detox facility myself!!) Hold on a sec….What a great idea!!! Epiphany has struck…detox. Yes I need to detox. I need to get the sugar out of my system. I need to STOP all this. NOW not tomorrow not later, NOW. So yeah this a cry for help…I need to get back on track. It’s not going to be easy, because the reality of the situation is that all these things are still a big part of my life and they are not going to go away. However…I am going to take some time to reframe and refocus on why I am here. I am going to right now as a matter of fact going to start with my office and DUMP out the peppermint candy sugar balls I bought so I could eat them all freaking day and put them in the trash!! Then when I get home as much as I love Aunt Maria’s chocolate covered Popcorn I am going to get rid of it! I am going to detox tonight and skip “dinner” and have a Protein shake. I am going to give my band a “rest” I have really been taxing it lately and pushing it to its limits and mine. I am going to commit to working a post op liquid diet for a few days heavy on the Water and slowly ease back into mushy then solid foods. I am going to commit to getting my rear end to the gym that is costing me an arm and a leg and try giving it a thigh and some fat from my ass to chew on instead. I am bad at accountability…I’m reading all these posts about who is doing what…and I am like oh that’s awesome they are doing so great!!….delete. So here I am here’s my story…now it’s time kick my ass in gear and get it going!!!!! OK BP’s help me to kick some ass!!! Mine, yours, ours!!!

My PCP is also unsupportive , she feels weight issues are due to compulsive over eating and the surgery won't solve anything. She feels I will just change one obsession for another like alcoholism or some other horrible obsession and told me to see a dietitian. I joke with friends that I've "dieted" myself into obesity, but it's absolutely true! If diets worked I wouldn't be in this situation! I'm going forward without her blessing and will find the support I need elsewhere!

So I'm 4 months post sleeve surgery and down 40lbs. My unsupportive husband decided he wasn't in love with me and we are in the process of divorcing. The divorce was no surprise. Unfortunately he didn't want the marriage or work for it like I tried. Anyway I'm looking forward to dating later this year and meeting new people. I'm 30 yo. But food and alcohol are often part of the dating process. Luckily I never was much of a drinker. I can only imagine going out and eating 4 bites and being full. How do you deal with this? What about the scars? When do you tell your sleeve story? I'm excited but scared of dating. Any advice from fellow sleevers is appreciated.

Thanks for the encouragement babbs. I appreciate it. I mostly worry about not being able to enjoy time with the family the same way. Food or alcohol has been the center of our everything. But I am ready.

I've lost 100 pounds since my sleeve surgery on October 8. Have about 40 to go. Not a doubt in my mind I will hit my goal. But, here's the deal. I don't cheat...ever. I don't drink pop, alcohol, no caffeine, and get my calories from good, healthy food. I don't look for ways to get around my sleeve. I also bust my tail at the gym 5 days a week. The sleeve seemed by far the most "natural" procedure. Just my opinion though. I took this surgery VERY seriously. My blood work is optimal now. I no longer have sleep apnea. I feel like a new person. But, as I'm sure you've read, none of these procedures are a silver bullet. You choose what you eat, how much, and how often. But it has definitely served as "guard rails" for me. The sleeve has helped me learn how to eat like a healthy person should. The sleeve also seems to have the fewest complications from what I've read. Bypass patients seem to have an unnatural look to them at times. Again, just my opinion. I'd tell you to make sure you're totally committed t this before moving forward. Good luck.

Out of all the bars Quest sells, these do not have the Erythritol sugar alcohol listed as an ingredient. vanilla Almond Mixed Berry Bliss Peanutbutter Supreme chocolate Brownie Peanutbutter and Jelly Apple Pie

Off hand do you know which bars don't have the sugar alcohol in them?

I just watched "My Big Fat Operation" on the Discovery Life channel (channel 261). It was a good show and did show the mental side to surgery. I was a little aggravated that one girl celebrated her 3 month mark by enjoying cocktails at a bar. There was no mention that you shouldn't consume alcohol after surgery. It leads others to believe that it is a normal part of post op life.

I was up to 1000 -1200 calories by 6 months and still continued to lose....10+ pounds below my goal weight. I've maintained with 1400-1600 calories. The "didn't see it coming" thing for me was I wouldn't miss drinking alcohol. I used to be a BIG drinker....cocktails after work everyday and major "partying" on weekends. My college friend who had Lapband years ago said it would happen, and turned out she was right. I don't get the buzz I used to and it's just not worth the calories.

@@leag78 Don't take this the wrong way; I don't know you or your friend. But almost all of your replies seem to be defending her or your friendship. Almost as though you have to convince us that she's a good person. Or perhaps convince yourself? Someone can have great attributes and only have one flaw; for example if i have a wonderful husband who helps with the house, rubs my feet every night before bed, and surprises me with random gifts and flowers for no reason those are great attributes. But if the one bad thing about him is that he's completely unfaithful to me and will cheat on me given the opportunity, do those good things about him outweigh the bad? WLS is a long, hard road. I'm pre-op and already having issues with my social circle because of my changing eating habits and my avoiding alcohol. My friends don't invite me out anymore, I guess they figure whats the point if she can't eat and drink with us? Also, when I do go out people are always pushing me "one little drink won't hurt. Don't you have a cheat day?" They're excellent people, always there for me when I need someone and have opened up their homes to me and made me feel like family. But pushing me to drink when I'm under a doctor's care not to is just wrong. Offering me food I can't have and trying to justify it by saying "everybody deserves a cheat day." is not supportive to what I'm doing. It's going to be really important that you have support for your choice to have WLS and the journey you're on. If your friend isn't supportive or if you're afraid your friendship with her will change because of your decision, then the best way she can support you is not to stand in your way. I'm not suggesting you stop being her friend, but perhaps you won't be able to rely on her for support as much as you were hoping considering how close you are.

Don't touch the bread, or drink alcohol, or eat dessert. Swap out the starch for a second vegetable. Eat your Protein first, veggies second. You should run out of room part way through the veggies. Take the rest home for tomorrow's lunch. It really is that simple!

Hey, @@Joey Jackson. Here's the stuff I wish someone had told me: That it hurts like hell when you first wake up! But the improvement starts almost immediately and after 2 weeks you'll feel pretty decent. That the first few trips around the floor are really hard, but after that walking actually starts to feel pretty good. That they would transition me from IV pain meds to pills during the night in the hospital. And yes, you can swallow a small pill. That the pain meds are only needed for 3 or 4 days. That Water is even more important than Protein during the first week or two. That if you don't get enough fluids, the constipation is gonna really suck! That you should have some kind of laxative or stool softener ready. (Miralax is pretty good.) That food and drink are going to get stuck at various points in your esophagus at various times in the first few weeks, and make weird noises going down. This is normal, and due to swelling, and it improves pretty quickly. That tons of fluids (eventually) are the best way to keep your skin elastic, which might help down the road. That tons of protein (eventually) plus Biotin is the best way to try and keep your hair. That Vitamin B-12 is a happy pill. (I prefer timed-release to sub-lingual.) That around week 3 after surgery, all weight loss may stop for 2-3 weeks! This is completely normal and here's why. good article That if I follow ALL the rules about what and when to eat and drink, never eat starches or sweets (or drink alcohol), and get regular exercise, I could lose 111 pounds and reach my goal weight in 7 1/2 months. And.... that if I did all of that, I would actually enjoy the journey... and I have! Good luck! I wish you all the success in the world!!!

Apparently my doctor is not worried about the carbonation stretching my stomach. I am allowed it after 6 months. Same with alcohol.

You hit it on the nail.......self destructive. For some it's alcohol, drugs, sex, and then for others it's food. It's about that mindset and it was clear to me that Pauline needed some serious counseling...probably lifelong....prior to surgery. Sometimes you have to see your behavior in others in order to get "it", I know that's what worked for me.....straight up, frank, & clear examples. That is what keeps my tail in line.

So in January, I went to meet the first doctor, she was nice and informative, but after I left I was really nervous. Last week I had my second appointment with another doctor, who ordered blood work and diagnosed me with hyperinsulimia, and now put me on metformin. I nervous, it seems like everyone is far to casual about having my bowels chopped up. I have non alcoholic stenosis, and due to that, my liver is enlarged. I guess im just worried, I know that the surgery can improve my quality of life, but just the fact that everyone seems so nonchalant about it, I already have so many health issues... I guess what I really want out of this post is for someone to tell me its going to be fine. I've lost 9 lbs since my first consult, my next one is on March 5th, right before I have my nutrition class. Also, my doctor said that the request to the insurance company doesnt go out until I finish their 6 month course, but im worried once I go through all of this, that they won't give the pre cert. Anyone else have similar issues/concerns?

I've seen so many of these and most of them are success stories but several of them are failures and one was even a death. It's amazing the lack of support that especially women don't get from their spouses. I don't like this show anymore , I find it too hard to watch. There is a really good book by Marianne Williamson titled A Course in Weight Loss 21 spiritual lessons for surrendering your weight forever. In it she talks about how emotional baggage packs on the pounds and until we deal with it we will fail at any attempt to successfully lose weight. She gives lessons and guidelines to follow to overcome this. It makes total sense. And this is what is wrong with Penny. For some who are self-destructive it could be alcohol, drugs, a sex addiction or compulsive shopping. But emotional baggage plays a huge part in it. I personally feel I am on the right path now and I don't want to do anything to screw it up.

If you were to heat them in the microwave for a few seconds, they would be soft enough to cut with a fork. I wouldn't go for the ones with dark chocolate or brownie flavors.... those bars were much much thicker and chewier. Of the 12 flavors I've tried, the fruit flavors were the softest. In particular, berry Bliss, strawberry Cheesecake, and Apple Pie. But be careful of the sugar alcohols. The Erythritol sugar alcohol used to sweeten SOME of the bars, it's not used in all of them, caused Frankensleeve a bit of stomach upset... but he's 2 years old now and is a bit more tolerant of new foods. I would wait till I was allowed full foods before eating any Protein bars. Or call your Doc or NUT and see what they advise, they are in the best position to advise you. But if you are going to try them, use my tried and true Frankensleeve new foods taste test: Take a small bite... about the size of a teaspoon. Wait 5 minutes Take another teaspoon sized bite Wait 5 minutes If Frankensleeve hadn't grumbled by then, I knew the food was safe for me to eat. If you would care to hear my review of the 12 bars I tried, here is the link to my Youtube Quest Bar playlist http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYoG14FX5FCXliAUJ1C9EZbn_Ls95ZrUr

Like Sharpie says, it's about volume for me. I used to eat soooo much food and now I don't. There are times I wish I could just go to town but so far, I stop before I get uncomfortable and I am so grateful to be mobile and in small sizes and that helps to keep me focused. I think I'll have to look at this like an alcoholic....one day at a time.

I do not think you are boastful or bragging. You know you have to always be mindful of your eating. It's like a reformed alcoholic or drug addict, You will always have the tendency to eat, but with the band you can be in control. I have been banded for 2 years, Most everyone who knows me has seen me at my current weight and I have stopped getting compliments as much which is okay cause it does get uncomfortable at times. I still have to catch myself especially at night after my husband goes to bed , from eating while watching tv, it was a lifetime habit that had to be changed.

I had my 2 year Surgiversay this past Sunday (2/22/13). My starting weight was 336 lbs. I now weigh 223 lbs. I avoid fast food, anything fried, refined sugar, alcohol and carbonated drinks. I know I would have lost more weight sooner If I would engage in some form of exercise, which I refuse to do. No excuses, not lazy but I feel I have sacrificed plenty. Enjoying my new lifestyle. I remember the days of struggling to tie my shoes like it was yesterday. Never going back!

Efierke, I did not address your statement on alcohol. Less than 20% of alcohol is absorbed in the stomach, the remaining 80%+ is absorbed in the small intestine. I can provide numerous references supporting this if you would like me to.

Not true actually - B12 is absorbed almost exclusively by the stomach, as is alcohol. My understanding of calcium citrate vs carbonate is that there isn't enough acid production to break down the carbonate enough for your body to absorb it properly. Calcium citrate is a much more bioavailable form that doesn't require as much acid to break down.

Special medical conditions aside, you do NOT learn anything new by weighing daily except the false indicators coming from Water gain/losses. Never forget, that in the short run, the scale lies. On the long run, it tells the truth, but think if it more as an indicator, not an exact measure of your progress. Let me give a specific example. If you go out drinking alcohol and consume many extra empty calories you might very well show a loss the following morning as alcohol TENDS to dehydrate you. So, I think we can all agree that partying on the town everynight is counterproductive to your weight loss (not to mention general health and welfare!) and yet it might look like "you got away with it". I also think it is not mentally healthy to obsess on the numbers. In my work we talk alot about leading, versus lagging indicators. A leading indicator of success is how you are managing your food, activity and healhty lifestyle (example, hitting Protein and hydration targets). Pretty good evidence that if you do those things, even if you never step on a scale, you will get slimmer, healthier and lose weight. Lagging indicator is what the scale says. For whatever its worth - yes I care about the scale, but don't let it make you crazy.

While the arguments regarding 'replacement addiction' does address 'sport eating' with 'sport drinking', and the notions of 'addictive personalities' etc all have elements of truth, I reject their conclusions as being necessarily 'the Truth'. Granted we are all weak & seek maximum pleasure by virtue of birth, as a 'behavior' school of interpreting our actions, other theories seem just as likely in my own situation. Boredom, habit, cluelessness, maladaptive spirit of adventure, inattentiveness, and a wide range of other factors influence my own eating behavior. When I gave up alcohol literally overnight circa 1988, there was no sudden surge of increased replacement consumption. Overeating had been present for decades preceding that event, and continued apace without the influences of Demon Rum. Sport Eating is a behavior I better manage by direct means of confrontation and observation WHEN it is occurring.

For me personally, sugar LOVES me and loves to attach itself to me when I consume too much of it. Sure, the carbonation may not upset your pouch, but the sugar/sugar alcohols in the "diet" soda will slow down your progress.