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I hear exactly what you're saying mate. I'm only 35 but had alot of health issues prior to surgery. Did alot of parties and alcohol for years myself but gave that up for a new life and 8.5 months later with the bypass completely turned my life around as well.. In maintenance now Well done.

Dionna, I frequent buffets a lot and I don't have a problem anymore. I have learned how much I am able to eat and I stick with that guideline. I hope you will be able to learn how to eat more easily. I don't even have to grab small plates anymore because I can only eat the amount that I am able to eat. It may help you to rethink why you eat. I eat to live and not live to eat............ Please don't think that I am a sassy pants but I get it now. I know what it takes to be of a normal healthy weight. I have a certain food type that is my enemy and like an alcoholic I will never eat it again and I am okay with that also it isn't healthy food. It is unfortunate that we see ourselves having to pay the full price on food but think of the people who eat like us and never had a weight problem. They have always paid the price without question so why should we be any different. I know this is very touchy but why should we be any different than others? Josephine

This is SUCH a bad idea. With all the "superbugs" out there, I wouldn't want to risk giving myself an infection by trying to save myself some bucks on a fill. I've heard of way too many people who have had to have their ports removed and replaced or even lost their bands due to an infection, usually resulting from a fill. I don't know about you, but I don't keep any antiseptic besides rubbing alcohol at home, and I don't trust that to be sterile enough. Just my .02 cents.

Chantal, you have all our sympathy and support. You have gotten some great advice and everyone's stories are so moving. You're in a very difficult situation indeed, but as others have said there is NOTHING to be gained if your children are the only reason you are sticking this out. I'm a product of a divorce and I can tell you my life IMPROVED immeasurably once my dad moved out. Neither parent was at all abusive or anything, but the tension between them was so thick that when they finally did the deed my only response was "what took you so long?" I was 8 years old. It didn't fix all our family problems, but it fixed THE BIG ONE and let those of us who weren't addicted to alcohol (i.e., everyone except my mother) move on and heal. My father found new love and became a healthier, happier person which made me happier too. If simply being in the same room causes tension between the parents, no one in the family can ever be comfortable. And don't kid yourself, children know this. What can you give them as part of this couple that you can't give them alone? Pain? Tension? Grief? Worry? These are not things you want them to have, right? And being a single mom is hard, absolutely. But you know it can be done. Your friends and family will flock around you and surprise you with talk of how glad they are that you have freed yourself from this ugly situation. And you will be yourself surprised at how wonderful it is to not worry all the time about what the next fight will be about, and how to keep your husband from dropping some really important family ball. Hell, you already run everything yourself, so you'd just have fewer people to take care of if he were gone! And a lot less laundry, I'll bet. An added bonus would be that if you left him you'd also be leaving his mother. My story isn't as dramatic as some others, and my first marriage was blessedly short. But the man I married sounds a lot like your husband. He never got violent with me but I could see it was coming someday. Once he threw a fistful of hamburger meat in my direction (don't ask me why, I have no recollection), and it hit the wall near me with really shocking force! I knew he had missed intentionally but I was amazed at how hard he had thrown it. That was the first time I realized I might be in danger someday. We never talked and for the last 8 months of our marriage I hardly saw him at all. I kept thinking that this would pass, that in 10 years we'd laugh about the hard times, but after a while it dawned on me that he was doing it on purpose. As a Catholic he'd never suggest divorce, but being married to me didn't mean he actually had to SPEAK to me, right? I finally walked out, convinced I'd be single forever. Six months later Mr. Right walked into my life and I've never looked back. Of course, I didn't have children then so it was an easier decision to make with fewer logistical problems, but when it needs to be done there is always a way. My thoughts are with you, Chantal, please don't hesitate to get in touch if you need anything.

I am just curious , as it will be my first christmas post weightloss surgery I will be about 5 months post, I am wondering what it will be like? Right now I am not interested in food much but every now and again I miss being able to over indulge lol. Luckily I am allowed to drink alcohol on my plan so that will not be so bad haha. ( I am not even into it when I used to love it lol) I am worried to people gain weight over christmas lol ? What was your portion sizes like, would love to see christmas food portions lol

I am so glad to hear how well you're doing!!! I keep telling myself that once I can eat food, I won't be hungry so therefor I won't crave food! I have never been a big drinker (glass of wine with friends or a cocktail), so giving up alcohol is no sweat! I've also not been a big soda drinker. I have always been a Water or milk drinker. If I'm thinking of the same mini ravioli's.... Those things are tiny!!! You can only eat 3? -----------| <------ Aren't they only about that size each? That doesn't seem like enough to sustain the human body. I | | | | | | -------------- think I can eat more than that now! At one sitting I can eat about 3oz of soup. That's over about a 30 min time frame though!

In one of of the group discussions on this site, someone used the term "fatties" when talking about a group of overweight people. I couldn't believe their temerity! But I do understand the OP's direction of thought. Dave Ramsey says if you want to be a millionaire, then do what millionaires do. If you want to be a thin or healthy person do what they do. And sometimes that means making choices to keep ourselves from being sidelined. Their are plenty of soul mates out there, we just have to find one that is more closely related to our goals, values, character, and even health views. I have always found intelligence, confidence and humor a primary attraction, secondary attraction were chubby men (or fit fat) ...more attractive than thin or even muscled men. I have no idea if that will change... but I will always want only healthy for my hubby. And if that means thin, so be it. And his current status of being overweight I know for him, he feels horrible. His recent weight loss of 14 lbs shows him feeling so much better and it shows in his self esteem. But if I were single, I would be less inclined to date someone who uses food to Celebrate as that is one of my triggers. I second what another post said. Food was my drug of choice. I can't afford to continue in a behavior that is my trigger, and if it means changing the types of people you hang out with, then you must. Criminals do it when they get out of prison and are on probation, drug and alcohol addicts do it in order to preserve their sobriety. So sometimes in order not to backslide, you might have to do it when considering a life partner. 11/11/16: HW 380 11/28/16: Duodenal Switch Surgery 11/28/16: SW 374 lbs 1/6/17: CW 337 lbs

that was a nice long thread to read. I agree with everyone here, I have empathy too. Just because someone may not be attracted to someone obese, doesn't mean it's shallow; it's just his/her preference. I've been mostly thin/fit for my life, besides the last 9 years or so when I started gaining. Even at thin/fit and single, I was attracted to certain kinds of guys, some huskies, some muscular, some average, but I have never looked at anyone obese with disgust; they were just not my type. I was also very athletic and outgoing, so I gravitated towards those kind of guys too. I married a slightly slim man who was just 15lbs more than I at the time. He's still slim (God's blessed him with high metabolism) but gained a few pounds and is very happy about it. LOL. When he's pumping the iron...ooh baby! My kind. LOL Okay, enough of my hubby....people will usually always gravitate towards others with the same interests in mind. And if there was a problem and it has been dealt with/fixed, then they shouldn't go down that path with others who are dealing with what was an issue for them. Unless they're called to be an advocate or something for others to get their lives back on track; much like someone who overcame drugs/alcohol and is now a counselor for others in that boat. But it takes a very dedicated, healed, and motivated individual to carry on and not fall back in to old habits too. But back to dating; it's all based on character and personality attraction; physical is the bonus and there's no right or wrong attraction either. It's how you deal with it.

Today I start my 7 day of living hell 1000 calorie diet... I'm dreading carb n sugar withdrawal! My plan is to take lots of sleeping pills this week so I'm not in my way or others way! Surgery is next Wednesday at 1345, WTF.... I have to wait u til mid day! Torture! And this doc makes u stay over night.. This doubly sucks! Hospitals are for sick people, I'm not sick I'm fat! I'm angry that I got this big again that I failed again! I'm angry that I have to redefine my relationship with food! I'm 39 no kids in a LTR we eat out a lot I go out with my girls a lot how do I be social? I loce wine, enjoy all elements of wine culture, hw do maintain that? fYI not an alcoholic I go weeks without wine but but I occasionly enjoy a robust glass of red! Grrrr so many things going through my mind can't sleep my anxiety is at 10+ can't wait til next Thursday when I'm home recovering so I can go back to work on Monday. Do you think it's ok to refuse morphine and other pain meds. I found out that I will leave the ER with morphine drip, but what I hear all of u say the pain is not that bad! I hatebeing180lbs! Can't wait to get my life back!

Your body goes immediately to burning the alcohol and not fat. So the whole time you have it in your system your body is thinking of nothing else.

I suspect there are as many different "food issues" on these forums as there are members. One person's safe and routine manner of eating can conceivably be another one's downfall. We need to be very careful about generalizing personal experience and biases to others when posting here. Members of Overeaters Anonymous will admonish against the use of sugar, wheat (flour), and alcohol, while lifelong members of, for example, Weight Watchers will espouse the importance of moderation and a well-balanced diet including the use of alcohol and wheat-based foods. In addition and, for example, those with a starting BMI of 50 are going to face different ongoing post-operative food issues than those with a starting BMI of 35. When it comes to the vertical sleeve gastrectomy, subsequent weight loss, and weight loss maintenance, one size most definitely does not fit all. Aside from individual patient differences, everyone's surgeon seems to have different ideas about both pre- and post-operative diets. My surgeon, for example, did not require me to lose weight or go on a liquid diet before the surgery. I underwent the procedure on Thursday, December 13th and, on day 9, he instructed me to move to soft solid foods due to chronic diarrhea and a day-5 readmission to the hospital for dehydration and hypotension. Of course, my surgeon also sutures the new pouch after stapling it with self-absorbing stitches to further protect his patients from themselves. When asked, he replied that he had absolutely no concern that I might spring a leak on day nine by eating a piece of feta cheese or poached egg. According to the research literature, in the vast majority of patients, the new stomach is completely sealed by day 14. In a very small percentage of patients, that seal could take as long as 21 days to permanently set. That means that in 100 percent of all VSG patients, the staples are serving no practical purpose after day 21 and, for most patients, after day 14. The goal of the post-operative diet progression is to slowly introduce foods of increasing density as molecular density is directly related to stomach contractions. That is, most of us are restricted to a clear liquid diet for the first 14 days in order to avoid any stomach contractions while the new stomach is still adhering to itself. What would happen if you tried to eat a 3oz piece of Ribeye steak on day 22? Due to the relative high density of that particular cut of meat and the fact that your stomach will still be swollen, you will most likely feel very uncomfortable and then end up "coughing up" everything you had just eaten. Chances are you won't try that again until the second or third month when all the swelling is gone. As for "damages," those would be limited to whatever you paid for that Ribeye steak you just threw up. Pressure and discomfort notwithstanding, you would not have hurt your new pouch at all, not by the end of week three. Writing entirely for myself, I didn't undergo the vertical sleeve gastrectomy so that I could live on low-fat cottage cheese, plain poached eggs, and liquid Protein drinks for the rest of my life. I most definitely plan on eventually eating pepperoni pizza, hamburgers, and everything else I used to eat before the surgery with the one and only exception of carbonated beverages. Of course, the portions will be quite smaller than they used to be, which is why I'll lose the weight I need to and then keep it off. I didn't become obese by eating one gingerbread man or drinking one small cup of eggnog at a Christmas party. By the way, the Withings Wifi Body scale has been a very useful tool in helping me monitor not only weight loss but relative lean vs fat body mass. It's important to make sure we're not losing muscle but only fat. Meeting our daily minimum protein requirement is very important. The scale also links directly to the MyFitnessPal.com account. Best of luck to all the relatively new sleevers!

Hey all....I am going thru the need for crunchie stuff...chips, tortillas and salsa....i am craving anything carb related...bread,oatmeal,toast..i think it may be *hormonal* or just that i am missing these things. I haven't had a piece of bread or pasta in seven weeks! thats torture to an itallian!!!! what does everyone else do when that need for crunch comes into play? that is a hard one for me to over come, and carrots and celery sticks just don't do it!!! i try really really really hard to fight the cravings. i have been doing pretty good...but if I break, i would appreciate some suggestions on what someone else would do in this situation. I appreciate any input at all! ive done sooo far...ice cold water...nope doesn't really curb it.......a walk, does it a little bit but the craving comes right back....i have found these cheddar cheese flavored protein crisp things that are like rice cakes...they sell them in Super Walmart, (right next to the pudding oddly) and they are pretty good... however, I don't always do my food shopping in Walmart....and other stores around here dont carry them. I am scared to Death of trying toast. I fear the "getting stuck" situation...oh no no no...doesn't sound fun. Even more so, I FEAR the PB'ing affect......Sounds like a movie...NOW PLAYING AT A THEATER NEAR YOU...... THE PB AFFECT, Starting Tom Cruise.....I think im delerious without carbs .... I did however had my FIRST alcoholic drink last night! I am a Toasted Almond girl! I love em! I get into trouble when I drink too many of them...I played it smart, had only one! It tasted sooooo good! I can tell though I could get into trouble now only after two of em! I felt some affect with just having the one. I sipped very slowly, it went down really good and thankfully we got to the bar just a little before closing, sooooo we didn't really have time for a second round. PHEW Saved by LAST CALL! Okay..Im babbling....ANY SUGGESTIONS ON THE CRUNCHIES WOULD BE APPRECIATED...THANK YOU! ttyl

No, sliming doesn't hurt. It's just the food that got stuck coming back up. The "slime" helps to bring it up. You can drink alcohol but it will inhibit your weight loss as alcohol carries a lot of calories with it. A glass of wine on occasion isn't terrible but you have to make the right choices regarding what and how much you drink if you want to see results from the band. Good luck.

I don't do well with dairy so I can't do the milk diet. My pre op diet is high protein and no carbs. Breakfast is 2 eggs with mushrooms or tomato, lunch a chicken or tuna salad, evening meal chicken / fish and veggies. No cheese, no carbs, no alcohol, no chocolate no crisps etc. Oh I can have 3 pieces of fruit a day. Sent from my E5823 using BariatricPal mobile app

Mine was basically a shortened post-op diet in reverse for 10 days total: 5 days mushy foods 3 days full liquids 2 days clear liquids No specific foods, no calorie limit, no alcohol. Not terribly difficult. Surgeon said my liver was flat as a pancake

Mine's October 16th in Boston. I'm halfway through my pre-op diet now. I'm not having as hard a time as I thought I would, but I can also eat. Only things I can't have are starches, caffeine (ok that one is hard), carbonated beverages (even harder than the caffeine), and alcohol.

5'5", 140#, 10 pounds below goal. I probably get at least 60-80g protein/day (40-60g from my daily smoothie and quest bar) and minimum 64oz fluids. I don't count calories, carbs or fat, so can't give you an answer there. I Simply eat a well balanced diet of protein, veggies, fruit and whole grains. Sweets, alcohol and other simple carbs in moderation. Love my sleeve!

I am not "scolding" anyone I am just simply saying sometimes people forget where they came from and they have to remember how it would have made them feel if someone would have done that to them or how it would make you feel if you had an overweight teenager/young adult and someone approached them in the mall about WLS and your child came home in tears over it. My husband is severly overweight and will be having his surgery in a month or two and I have a teenage daughter who is overweight as well. My point was that if a random stranger approached my teenage daughter and started to talk to her about WLS the Momma bear in me would come out and tell you to beat feet. WLS is a topic that I would bring up with my daughter not something a random stranger should bring up. No one needs to take it upon themselves to approach a stranger about WLS. It is as bad as a person who no longer drinks and feels it is there obligation to tell you why alcohol is so bad or someone who has found religion again and feels the need to tell you why there god is better, It is a topic that should not be brought up to random strangers if people want to discuss it with family and friends that is one thing but to approach a total stranger is not acceptable in my opinion. Some people may feel diffent about it that is why we all have a different opinion I was just simply expressing mine as other were expressing theres. So if you felt you were being "scolded" that was not my intention as you were not the only one who had posted on this topic. I have recieved in the mail before from a "person with good intentions" ads for weight loss pills, exercise videos etc. mailed directly to me from a random person just trying to help me out was what the note enclosed in the envelope said. Do I know who sent them no but it was someone close enough to me to know my full name and address so I am very touchy about being approached by people with "good intentions" about weight loss help. All those ads and letter did was upset me. When I was ready to make a change I did the research and found out what steps I had to take to qualify for weight loss surgery.

Two women close to us, one a family member and one who was with my wife and I so much, that we called her our daughter (that we never had), both became crack addicts. Without going into what skeletons were in their respective closets that drove them to the need for the numbing (drugs) to forget, both went through rehab. One learned the lessons of the 12 step program, is clean since 1992 and is raising a beautiful 10 year old daughter (my God-child) that she had a few years after leaving rehab and one is now dead. I bring this up because our battle against overeating and weight is so similar to the battle against drug/alcohol addiction. We must learn to take one day at a time. Maybe "one meal at a time" says it better. We must learn to be grateful each meal and then each day that we succeed in our battle, and maybe most importantly, we must learn to get right back on the wagon anytime we fall off, and without hating ourselves for our momentary failure. Setting far reaching goals is so important, but setting a goal for the day or for the hour or even minute is just as important. I used to argue with the women who is still alive and doing well when she was using that overeating is a harder nut to crack than crack or alcohol addiction. An addict can keep postponing that first drink/usage for one day or one minute until the minutes grow into days, the days grow into weeks, the weeks grow into years, etc. We as foodaholics must eat everyday. We can not postpone eating indefinitely. When a drug addict or alcoholic breaks down and uses, they fall apart, but if they put using off day by day, they can succeed. We must give in and use, but we must not fall apart in order to succeed. I wish all the members here the best. If you have lost 100 pounds or more, congratulations. If you have lost ½ pound so far, well you are on the right path. The man, Tim Montgomery, who recently set the world record for the 100 meter sprint started off about 26 years ago by crawling and then eventually took a halting step. If he can make it from one step, fall, get back up, take another step and then another to running 100 meters in 9.78 seconds, then we can start on the path, fall off, get back on the path and lose our desired amount of weight. Oh, yeah, I used to be 5'11", but now I am 5'9". I used to look and feel good at 180 pounds and even though I am now two inches shorter, my goal is 180.

Hi all, Darcy I'm so ssorry to hear what going on with your FIL. I do agree with what Betty said though. If it's what he enjoys why not ;et him have it. I had a very very close frend who was really like a family member to me. I adopted him and we became very close he even lived with us at one point for a while when Floyd came to NJ and flooded him out. Anyway he was a major alcoholic and in the end his daughter and I brought him a bottle of vodka and we had a drink with him. It was very sad for all of us, but it was what he enjoyed and needed. FIL and MIL aren't to great. Things are still nuts around here. We are moving him out of the Columbia house on Saturday. I gave in to Garry and said what the heck I can only do so much. He gave into me and said ok hire a moving company. So at least we will be rid of Columbia in a few days. FIL has no appetite and slept ALL day yesterday. Today he was a bit better. The PT came to work with him and I tink that helped. MIL was ok she had lip stick on today. She looked good. She is walking more with the walker, but still cant do anything for herself. We brought Cindy her cocker to visit her today Cindy didn't seem to care about seeing her which was to bad. You guys know I LOVE animals, but I have got to tell you Cindy is the dumbest dog I have ever known I think she could win an award for being the dumbest dog on earth. She doesn't walk on a lease she does the breast stroke! I am not kidding! She is really something. OH I have no idea how he will be able t keep her. She is great company for him she sleeps on his lap but when she is awake..wew... I take FIL to urologist on Thursday. His PSA is 22. I am afraid of what is next with him.

hi everyone, well i finally found out what my problem is..... i havent been able to eat anything for the past 2 weeks except Protein shakes. everything including chicken Soup and yogurt was coming up. yesterday i was starting to struggle with the shakes. my band was check with the fluroscope and it is "perfect" as my doctor said. i also havent had any fills yet my esophogus is where i felt the problem was. i've also had trouble breathing. i had pain in my chest when i took a deep breathe. the final straw was last night when i couldnt sleep lying down.:notagree i called the doctors office again...and the nurse there told me to get a chest xray. that it could be pneumonia... guess what?? it is. it is called aspiration pneumonia. it is NOT related to the lapband operation. it could be from PB-ing and something going down the wrong pipe and settling in lungs...they really dont know the good news is i'm on antibiotics and should be on the mend. the upside has been i havent wanted to eat at all (good thing because i couldnt eat)...only if i didnt feel so bad.... cindy: i havent had a fill yet but you post like you did and people will give you feedback. welcome sophie248: guess thats another place to save money...on the alcohol hehehe... they should add that to the lapband websites where they show you how much money we will save by not buying bales of food after getting lapband ha! mimijill: are you talking about phen phen? if it is...when i was getting the surgery they made a BIG deal to find out the last time i had it. it is pretty dangerous to cause heart problems. hi sugarbear, sg dodge and oh juli carol1951: glad about your fill lori PA: it's funny you mention the drivers license. i just moved to texas and got my new license 3 mos ago. i look horrible. i want to have it redone.....i have to figure out how to get people at the DMV :faint: to let me do it in a few months hi everyone else...i have to get to bed...

Hi Meg! Congratulations on your loss so far! When I was in weight watchers the leader explained it like this... Even if you count the alcohol into your calories for the day ( which they did not advocate), your body will burn the ethanol first, then any thing left from the carbs/sugar in the alcohol will be converted to fat. So while alcohol is is your system, you're not losing weight. I love a glass of wine now and then, but have sworn off until I get my weight down. I want to be burning fat as much as possible. But, honestly if I chose to have a drink or two, then I'll have to prepare myself for the scale not moving. Up your Water intake, see if that gets you moving again. Make the best choices for you, but be prepared for the reaction your body has. Good luck!

Alcohol is empty calories please get yourself back on track your weight will come off good luck

We metabolize alcohol the same as we ever did. Unlike our bypass pals, who process it differently. If our tolerance is lower, it is from drinking less often and thus, feeling it more.

I miss an ice cold beer (Corona) more than anything else. I have tried to drink it but it makes me feel full and bloated. If I want a drink, I have a shot of Malibu chilled. I can drink it straight and theres nothing mixed in so no extra calories on top of it. As far as alcohol having a greater effect....I believe its because our tummys arent full of food. You will always need less when you drink on an empty stomach. We get together with friends and family quite often and there always good food and drinks. I've given up most of the foods and my addiction to Diet Coke...can't take away my alcohol too! "CHEERS!"