Search the Community

Hi CherieLynne~~ I was, and still am doing great with my band. I had a crisis....and amid it all regained almost 40 pounds! I have a history of nausea with anesthesia. I had 3 surgeries in a year, only related to my band in the way that one of them was a TT. I also had a thyroid tumor, and an intestinal torsion. So due to surgery, I was totally and completely unfilled. I managed fine through that. Was unfilled for over a year, without weight gain. Then my DD began having some issues with her outer ear swelling, and was soon hospitalized, with the most horrendous looking ear you can imagine. Her ear was tomato red, and was so swollen you could not see an ear canal. There was an abssess, that ate all the way through her ear. They were caused because it would swell until the skin popped. The diagnosis come in with it being a cartiledge destroying disease....which is fatal, life expectancy is no more than 7-10 years. I cannot tell you the devastation. I was keeping her 4 year old, who was scared at what was happening to her Mommy, and my DD was, well, like you would expect a 26 year old to be that was just told she would never see her child grow up, and the disease would be disfiguring, disabling, then fatal. The stress caused hives.....which would not go away, so they put me on high doses of prednisone, then tried repeatedly to taper it off, only for them to return. They operated on my DD, and eventually sent her to a different hospital, where they discovered the disease was only a psuedo disease----she too has RA, and this illness mimics the disease, but is NOT fatal. Is usually no more than what she had, but hers had been mismanaged for so long, they expected it to be disfiguring, and prepared to amputate the external ear. End of the story is happy, the meds made a HUGE difference. She had a PIC line at home for 2 months. But she has not lost any of her ear, only the lymph nodes below it which surgeons removed in diagnosis. But.....I lived in the hospital, eating LOTS of ice cream, because it soothed my acid ridden stress related tummy----and also tried to soothe my soul. I have not experienced hunger since being banded. But once the prednisone began, I was ravenous again! I am off the prednisone, and have no hives. Nothing negative to show for the experience except for about 15 pounds now! I NEED to exercise to get them off, I am just lazy about it. I could lose them just as well, by getting another fill, and eating less, but I choose not to go that route. I have a small fill in----less than 1cc---in a band that will hold 4cc.'s. But I do not have tight restriction, mild is good for me, I do not PB, but I cannot eat large amounts. I can eat roughage (salad) and meat, without issue. I can eat some bread. Mostly my portions are diversely different than pre band. I think if I had more weight to lose, I would be more motivated, but I am really OK with where I am. I began in a 22/24 pants, and now wear either an 8 or 10....without elastic! LOL Everything I owned before had elastic everything! I think since your body is used to the steroids, you are used to the things they do to your body----mine was not, and the hunger was so new, and I was so scared, I fell into old habits and tried to eat my way to comfort..... You should be able to get back in the pool as soon as your incisions heal, and I would bet you will be able to add other exercise as the weight drops. So sorry my post scared you----was not meant to!!! Good Luck to you on your surgery---it was without a doubt the best thing I ever did for ME!!!

Hi Brandy I'm on paxil,didn't notice any weight gain but I do have the other side effects I was really sick when I started taking paxil,it lasted about 3 weeks lost 20lbs but soon gained that back once i was not sick.I think paxil saved my life because I now feel so normal.I think I was depressed all my life and didn't know what was wrong.I like you have generations of family depression.It spiraled out of control once I hit forty.Hang there we'll get through it.I wonder if the meds are the reason I don't feel full for so long.:thumbup:

:omg: I went to California for a week to vacation with family. Hmmm, I'm afraid to step on the scales although I earnestly tried to limit my intake of food. I am still eating portions I probably shouldn't. Can't seem to get that under control yet. Now I can eat regular type food again, so it's like an open door. I must get help, must get fill! :omg: I am anxious to get my fill. I get my first fill next week in hopes I will see some real progress. I am feeling well after the surgery with two months out. It appears all the healing is completed. Once in a while I will get kind of a odd pain on my left side but nothing that seems of real concern. It's hard being patient while the healing process is going on. You just want to see pounds start shedding. I felt fairly miserable around my thinner family members, but I am trying to remember this weight gain didn't just happen over night. I sure have blown my exercise routine, I just can't seem to get into the groove. Maybe due to a few factors like; I had the surgery, looking for a new home, vacations, my husbands illness, etc. Can we say stress! However, no excuses, just want to see what a filled band will do for me. I am in great need of limiting portions and getting some exercise. My knees and joints hurt so bad that exercise is no my strength. Hmmm, maybe this site will give me some much needed suggestions. :tired

I have 4 of them but they were all pre-sleeve! I have a butterfly (ink and a needle at age 14) on my bottom, tribal art in a diamond shape on my lower back (tramp stamp - got it WAY before it was called that and before it was "cool" to have it there) I have tribal art on the back of my neck/top of my back that has a Gemini symbol in the middle of it for my daughter and then I have a teddybear holding a heart on my breast. I am very surprised that none of them have been distorted from weight gain or loss! I do want more but I haven't decided on what or where yet!

you are still on liquids aren't you? that is probably why you feel hunger! I did not worry about how many times I "drank" something at that point. It did not cause weight gain.

I haven't been sleeved yet, but I can speak to losing weight after pregnancy when you are already obese. My youngest daughter came as a surprise, and I already weighed 200 lbs at conception. I was terrified that I would gain the large amounts of weight had gained with my first two pregnancies 8 and 11 years earlier. Not only was I concerned from a vanity point of view, but more so for the well being of the baby, my own health and ease of delivery. So I was determined to keep the weight gain in check, but in a healthy way. And I managed to keep it to less than 20 lbs by eating healthfully (no empty calories!) and getting cardio in everyday. It worked! Weight gain was minimal and quite easy to lose afterward. And while I was still overweight, at least it wasn't made worse by the pregnancy. Have faith that you can do this...you are strong and in control. I mean really, look at what you've accomplished so far! Good luck and keep us posted!

We had my youngest sons birthday party today and we had such a good time. The whole family was here and the kids made out like bandits. All my kids got gifts "just because". My least favorite is an electric guitar that is very noisy and annoying. But the kids love it.. My dd said something that crushed me today after everyone left. I was fixing dinner, and she said "mom, I don't want to eat tonight, I want to shrink my tummy." I was like What? Why I like your tummy. She then tells me that Nana and her step aunts (nanas dd's) told her she needs to stop eating so much so she can shrink her tummy. This pisses me off beyond belief. I am quite aware of my childs issues, yes i think she can lose weight but I am not going to tell her she needs to stop eating to lose it. I also don't agree with putting that kind of thoughts into a 5 YEAR OLDS head.... I am going to take a step back and look at the whole pic. My father, yes I love him but I have always felt that he did not support me like he should because I was overweight. He left us as kids for months at a time, we didn't know if he was dead or alive. As a child I always felt that I was the reason my dad left my mom. He left when I was two weeks old because of another woman. When my dad was around he would make hurtful commits about my weight that were not incouraging or supportive. I wonder if that played a roll in my weight gain and addiction to food? My dd looks up to her aunts, and her step grandmother (who is the same age as me I might add). They are obsessed with looks. Nana allows the girls to "advertise" with the way they dress. They both have shirts that say things that I would not wear as an adult like "size does matter" and "this shirt looks better wet!" I don't know they are just such snobs that I don't want there opinions about body image effecting my dd happiness. My daughter is thick but in no way is she fat. I do see some signs that tell me she is not eating only when she is hungry. And I am battling those demons, everyday. We are changing our whole family, begining with me. I want our family to HEALTHY not skinny because its the thing to do. My dd will alway be bigger than others her father is 6' and her mother is 6'2. I just want to scream "STAY AWAY FROM MY DD"

these were the rules given to me.... but go on and do what make you happy Lap-Band: Rules To Live By For The Rest Of Your Life Eat 3 small meals per day. Eating 3 meals per day will provide the proper nutrition your body needs. Eating more than this or "grazing throughout the day is unconsciou eating and can lead to excessive calorie intake. Limit portion sizes to 3-4 oz. Portion sizes should reflect the size of your new pouch. Eating more will eventually stretch the size of the puch and lead to an increased calorie consumption and weight gain. Eat slowly - when you are comfortably full... STOP. Eating too fast will cause pain and can lead to overeating or vomiting. No snacking in between meals. Snacking in between meals will only add additional, unnecessary calories. It may also revive bad habits of unhealthy snacking and grazing. Do not drink and eat at the same time. liquids will speed up transport of food through the stomach, decreasing the sense of satiety (feeling of fullness) and giving you the ability to eat more. Drink fluids 30-60 minutes after eating. Consume adequate fluids-sipping at all times. Fluids should always be sipped. Gulping can cause pain and lead to stomach stretching. Drink at least 64 oz. of Fluid every day - in between meals in order to prevent dehydration. Eat well-balanced, nutritious meals - Protein first! Providing yourself with the proper food is important in order to provide your body with the necessary Vitamins and minerals you need to survive. Eating your protein first will ensure that you are meeting your protein needs of at least 60 grams per day. The rest of the meal should be balanced with small amounts of fruits, vegetables, and whole grain carbohydrates. *see the protein guide* Limit high calorie food and drinks. Consuming high-calorie food and drinks such as soda and high-fat foods will only increase your calorie intake, leading to less weight loss and possibly weight gain in the long run.

Had a bad stuck episode/pb-ing on Saturday, followed by bad reflux at night, and every night since. I also have had trouble keeping down any solid or mushy foods. liquids go down, but I definitely feel resistance. Worried, I went to my doctors office today and the PA did an unfill, taking out 2 of my 5ccs. The last time I had a fill was in May, so I know I wasn't suddenly overfilled. She suggested that I irritated my pouch/esophagus and that the unfill, followed by two days of liquids only, then soft foods, and finally solids on Sunday. I am also getting an Upper GI swallow test done and coming back in 3 weeks. What's bothering me now is that although I'm feeling immediate relief from the difficulty swallowing I was experiencing before, I'm worried that this much of an unfill will lead to some weight gain over the next three weeks, and it's really causing me anxiety! Anyone have a similar experience? Any advice?

I need an unfill due to dilation and I'm worried about weight gain. It took me 6 months to get to the green zone at first. I know I could gain a lot of weight in another 6 months. I'm thinking a prescription appetite suppressant like Adipex or some the new ones (Qsymia and Belviq) may help me as I get back to the green zone. The problem is I'm at my goal weight and they aren't supposed to be used in people with a normal BMI. Has anyone had any experience with this? Thoughts?

Sorry this is so long. :-( I'm just starting my journey but wanted to just get this out. My BMI was 40.3 at my initial consultation. I want this, but I'm stressing about the thought of my BMI dropping below 40 and being denied by my insurance. I have to have a 40 BMI, do 3 months weight management, a nutritionist visit, 2 year weight history and. Psychologist appointment for my insurance qualifications. So the earliest my case will be submitted to insurance is October. I have health issues but none that qualify according to their list of co-morbidities. One member of the staff at the surgeons office said don't gain anything or you may have an issue with your insurance. Another member of the staff said my insurance won't cancel for a little weight gain. So I'm stressing and have a few months to continue stressing! Anyone been through a similar situation. Sent from my XT1585 using the BariatricPal App

I'm a former bander too. It caused all kinds of problems and then the weight gain. I had my sleeve done about a year ago and love it. I knew how to eat and what to do it was like riding a bike. I'm really happy now! Good luck on your journey!

So... I've been a busy new mom, so I haven't been on posting as much as I'd like, but I thought I'd update everyone on how things went. Hopefully this will be encouraging to other bandsters who want to have babies! So after several years of infertility, I do believe that my weight loss from being banded helped me get pregnant, have a healthy pregnancy, and a healthy baby. I got pregnant in July of 2011 (one month after being banded!) and had a miscarriage. Then I got my a** in gear and worked with my doc to balance out my hormones; but she said that she thought I was healthy enough to go for it! I got pregnant with my daughter in January 2012. These were my fears: 1) Nausea and vomiting would make me slip my band... Well, I'm glad to report that although I did have a fair amount of nausea, I was just really careful about keeping it under control as much as I could, and when I did throw up, to treat myself as well as possible. No slippage! 2) Weight Gain Well, I have 2cc in my band, and I still have 2cc in my band, and I still have restriction. I still don't know if I'll ever need a fill or not. I only gained about 17 pounds total for the whole pregnancy, and I've lost that and then some since she's been born (Yay breastfeeding!) 3) Other complications I had NO gestational diabetes. I think though, that this is because I was EXTREMELY picky about my diet throughout my pregnancy. I realized that everything I was eating went directly to the baby, and with the lapband, I had to make the best choices possible nutritionally so that I got enough nutrition in to help my little one grow. That being said, I did have a couple problems. I don't know if they were related to my weight or not... certainly not to the band, but here they are: Kidney stones: Yes, I had them. They HURT so bad!!! I thought I was going into early labor; but nope. Kidney stones! Fortunately, they were small enough that I just passed them. OW! Pre-Eclampsia: I developed high blood pressure at about 26 weeks. It just didn't go away... eventually it got worse and worse, and there was Protein in my urine. I got induced two days before my due date and my blood pressure was 190/110!! Fortunately, the cure for pre-eclampsia is to have a baby! Swelling: I had a lot of swelling, but I think it was due to the pre-eclampsia more than anything. I got scolded by doctors for 'doing too much.' I was told to stop exercising at 7.5 months. C-Section: This was most likely related to being induced. A lot of the time, when the body is in an unnatural state of labor, ie induction, it's just too much stress on you and the baby. I never dilated past 4cm, and the baby's heartrate was fluctuating dangerously. I tried to labor. I labored for over 30 hours, and nothing... so I got a C section. I'm actually not disappointed. The medical staff was awesome, and I really liked my doctor, and they took good care of me. My baby girl was born perfectly healthy 7lbs 8 oz with an apgar score of 9! She had no health issues whatsoever. Funny things: Doctors kept thinking that my port was the baby's foot. It poked out a lot during pregnancy. I called it my 'turkey timer.' So I hope that provides some perspective. I really hope that all of y'all who are hoping to have babies get to experience this joy. You all deserve it! If anyone has any questions, I'll be happy to answer them! Here's my little sweetheart! She's now 3 months old!

I dont even know for sure where to start.....all i can say is i went for what i thought was gonna be a fill....well it went poorly.....my blood pressure was up the Nurse Practioner was rude basically yelling cause I gained 10 lbs....I tried to explain that my Endocrinologist said my sugars were high and suugar was spilling into the toilet in my urine....now sugars are better due to going on insulin pump and due to better sugars i am retaining some calories causig a lil weight gain. She said.....they are NUTS and yelled thats the craziest thing she ever heard....I tried to explain i feel i need a fill.....i am not getting a full feeling....she wouldnt even listen.....do i deserve to be treated and chastised for making a mistake.......i guess i just need to vent....so how do i know i need a fill??? and also what point is there in even going when she said i am at 6.5 and thats the max fill.........my band is a 10 cc can i not ever get more?? if thats the case why do i drive 2 hrs to go get treated poorly.....and when i leave there end up in an er for high BP?????? thanks for listening

As some of you know I'm 47 and divorced, will soon be 2 years this month. Let me start how my weight gain all started for me, I wasn't an obese child nor a teen. I married my high school sweetheart in 1986 and boy did I think I knew the world, if I knew then what I know now, ha. He was shy and I was the outgoing one, he was super skinny and I was average. He ate and ate and ate and I thought I could eat along with him so my weight kept creeping up over the years of our marriage little by little. By 1990 I weighed 199, said to myself I'd never let myself weigh over 200, I ate crow alright. We were unable to have children so we occupied ourselves in the life of luxury of world travels and cars and later in life our dream home in '06. By that time he had a corporate job, I had not worked in years and we had our dream home with a pool. It was all I could do to keep house it was so huge but I loved it. Guess you could say starting in '06 I could see a change in him and I began to stress eat more. His job was very stressful, afterall he managed a factory, oh how proud of him I was but then the alcohol began and then my food addiction began. From 2006 until he left me Oct '09 I literally watched him become a full blown alcoholic and my eating had well, let's just say I gained about 25 lbs. He began staying out late till the wee hrs of the night/morning in bars, coming home drunk, it was horrible. Then on that fateful afternoon in Oct. '09 he came home and said he was leaving me, I was devastated to say the least. I had no idea he wasn't happy. Yes we had our ups/downs like anyone else but I guess he had gotten tired of looking at a fat wife, I had let myself go, certainly not the girl he married. I stayed in the marital home a few months until I couldn't care for the acreage and pool and he made me move out and he move back in. At this time he had asked for a divorce and I was at my all time low, a deep depression. I guess I have to admit I was on the verge of suicide but I'm deeply religious and knew better and had it not been for my faith in God and my mom and of course my Psychiatrist I never would have made it out of the dark hole. My mom stepped in and bought me a home close to her and I rented it from her. Guess she wanted to give me my independence for the first time in my life. By this time it was May of 2010, divorce proceedings were ongoing, I was living alone and eating and eating. BIG mistake. I had no accountability, I was sitting alone in a house with a dog and a tv and eating whenever and whatever I wanted. I literally was eating myself to death. I knew I didn't want to die an early age like my dad but yet I still kept eating. I had ballooned to 294, I was huge, could hardly walk, couldn't breathe. In early June '12 I moved in with my mom for financial reasons and she sold the house, talk about humbling, having to move back in with a parent at age 47. One afternoon I asked my mom to go with me to a seminar for lap band surgery, this was April 2012. What a revelation. Yes I had done my homework, I had actually gone to a seminar back in '08 but wasn't ready mentally then. This time I was ready. The next day I called my ins, they covered it, called the dr's office made an appt, got right in, from start to finish I was banded in like 4 weeks, his office pushed my ins approval thru really quick. Needless to say this saved my LIFE. Has it been a struggle, yes, I struggle each and every day with head hunger and sweets and sometimes give in, that is why my weight loss is slow but I'm proud of my 68 lbs in 1 year and will never look back. My eating habits have changed, for the better of course, I look at food differently, I taste it now instead of gobbling it down. Had it not been for all of you all on here answering my questions throughout this last year and Jean's book I don't think I could have survived my first year. Thanks to all of you out there you're the best! You guys are family!!! Looking forward to the next 12 months of a happier, healthier new me. Donna

thanks all for the responses and for understanding. Yes this is an issue for my psychiatrist but I'm an hour and half away from him, he's in Nashville and I'm Ky so it's not like I can jump in the car and make an appt and go see him on a whim. I have to do these things by phone. His assistant called today to ck on me and to see if the Depakote was helping and my response was :::"why in the world would he prescribe me something that causes major weight gain knowing I'm a wight loss surgery patient and on top of that due to my surgery I already am losing hair and this med causes that so no I'm taking it". she said oh, well, let me talk to him and call you back. Well, the day went on and never heard back from her. This is not like my dr, I've been with him for 7 yrs, love him to pcs, he's been there with me thru ups/downs and my separation/divorce but right now I am kinda peeved no one called me back today. On the otherhand my medical doc mentioned Lithium in a low dose...torn between doctors here. All I know is I cannot continue being short fused with everyone including the freakin dog of all things, she doesn't know any better. Zingy, like you I don't take criticism very well either or I take it to heart or wear my emotions on my shoulder so to speak. Thank you for sharing your story, it was brave of you. At least I'm not alone. Donna

I don’t know if this will make sense to you but it worked for me. I was not eating enough to gain weight on 600 calories a day, that is impossible. There were times I would step on the scale and the number would be a few pounds higher. Logically I knew I had not gained weight. I changed my thinking and told myself, “I weigh more today for some unknown reason” I stopped thinking in terms of weight gain it was just fluctuations. I started weighing myself less frequently and only on mornings when I felt “lighter “. It really helped me and kept me sane. Best of luck to you!

@@Kindle, you ask a GREAT question! I am so much a "WHY?" person too. But as so many mental health professionals have suggested to me, sometimes there just are no answers some questions and we serve ourselves best by being at peace with "what is." Sorry for all the pain you are experiencing in your life, but hope you are being extra kind to yourself in acknowledging how awesome your are for your strength in the midst of all this adversity! For so many of WLSers who suffer major emotional life changing events (deaths, divorce, job loss, etc) that is a huge trigger for major weight gain. Having the knowledge that this DOES happen when we experience major life events, and being able to keep in the back of our minds that we will need a lot of support at these times helps so much. Somehow, you have been able to maintain your weight during all this and wow that is amazing. At four years out, I can relate to a lot of what you have said (except the therapist part--definitely working on head). I feel pleased with my WLS success. I attribute that to FINALLY in my life being READY TO CHANGE, and being totally HONEST with myself. No more excuses. That meant letting go of a lifetime of old unhealthy eating habits forever and working REALLY HARD that first year to figure out what new, healthy eating habits and lifestyle even were (I really didn't even know.). For me, without question, the difference from all the other times in my life that I tried to lose weight is that the sleeve provides the restriction that was never there before. Why can I keep the weight off when we see other WLSers regain? That's where the work that we do in that first year to change our habits is so important. Also, I often repeat to myself a mental affirmation: (Your disease of obesity was so severe that you had the majority of your stomach surgically removed--behave accordingly!) I know what healthy eating is now. I don't count calories any more. I know what 1200 quality calories a day is. Fake, processed junk foods do not live in my house. I eat whole, clean meals/snacks prepared at home. I really think it just all boils down to CHOOSING TO CHANGE, forever. It is not about willpower. It is about choosing to live your best life and restoring your body to health. Sure, the number on the scale, and the fun clothes etc are nice, but if those are made the priority in the WLS adventure, my opinion is that the long-term success might be in question. Give yourself an extra pat on the back today--because you deserve it!

I have BCBS and I didn't have to do a 6 month supervised diet. I saw my primary doctor for my annual visit on 5/11/10...upset with my weight gain over the past year. I went to 3 seminars (various doctors) within a week. I met my surgeon on 6/2/10 (consult) and had my surgery on 8/16/10; 2 months and 2 weeks from once I decided on my surgeon. Maybe you can ask that they submit the paperwork and see what happens. I know my doctor's office submitted my paperwork on a Monday and they received word that I was approved the next day for surgery within 5 days. I asked them to push my date back because I wanted to met with the dietrician one last time and get some things squared away at work. Good luck!

1 bite of anything isn't going to cause weight gain. The main thing is to be vigilant in the future and not let 1 bite lead to a 2nd, and then to a 3rd. (I can't claim to be completely perfect about this, so I'm not throwing stones, just a handful of of Nerf rocks. ) You might call me lucky/unlucky because I wasn't able to tolerate much of anything my 1st month. So I wasn't tempted and was really forced to change my eating habits. I ate only the few things Frankensleeve would put up with - Cream of Mushroom Soup and Peanut Butter. I kept testing new foods, but it was a long time before I could eat more than a tablespoon full of anything.

Hello everyone .. It's been awhile , however I have a little bit of bad news ... Over the last 5 months I've been gaining weight ... Just found out that my port may have a leak ... Has anyone had this problem ... What do they do for it ?? Will I lose my weight again ... Will my insurance cover it ??? So many questions ... Anything will help ...

OMG!!! This website and thread have been like a Godsend to me. About 12-13 years ago when the term PCOS first came into play, I went to my OB/GYN (1996) for my annual and asked her about it. She told me that the hair on my upper lip could easily be bleached or removed w/ NAIR and that I just need to go on a diet. I was too embarrassed to tell her about the hair on my chin, neck, cheeks, breasts, arms, and belly. Five years later (2001) and a different OB/GYN, I got the same lecture about my weight and she prescribed Vaniqua for me. Again, too embarrassed to mention all the places of have coarse, black hair. In 2006, I went to a seminar for the lap band. After finding out the procedure wasn't covered by my insurance, I thought my options were exhausted. Well, in Feb. '09, I decided to go to a new PCP. My appt. is on April 14. I have been doing quite a bit of research in the internet about PCOS for the past few months and gee... I have 6 of the main symptoms (weight gain, hirsutism, dark skin patches, skin tags, IR, and irregular periods). I am now going to my dr appt. loaded w/ information about PCOS, which blood tests in need, and the names of meds being currently prescribed for PCOS. I am also going to another lap band seminar on Apr. 8. I am going to pay for the surgery out of my own pocket. I am no longer going to just accept what ever a medical professional has to say just because s/he has a degree. I know my body! And thanks to this thread, I don't feel like such a fat, hairy freak any more! :confused:

@@Buttercupbrown, yes you are right. Flabby "bat wing" arms are quite unforgiving and hard to shape up. Hard, but not impossible. Our arms will never look flawless as they did prior to massive weight gain, but other than plastic surgery, weights are all we have. Lighter weights (those in the range you are using) are good for people who have limitations or they are already a normal weight and just trying to tone. Light weights + lots of repetitions = toning for regular folks. Heavy weights + lower repititions = muscle building for obese folks. The building of muscles is what helps the appearance of the arms. Cardio exercises will help burn off the fat and the heavy weights will help build the muscles to fill out the loose skin. If you can do more than 8-10 repititions with your weights, they aren't heavy enough.

my hubby has loved me through thick and thin, literaly. although he never said a word about my 100 lb weight gain i knew he wasnt happy with it, but hey, neither was i ! i've lost 32 lbs so far and while he does see me as more attractive, its not just on the outside. Im happier because i FEEL better, im out walking or swimming 3x a week, my clothes are getting bigger and since im fitting into alot of my old clothes , i put way more effort into looking nice everyday. weight loss=self esteem and self confidence=attractive !Thats just human nature !

I am about a month and a half post-surgery and things have been going well...have had energy, losing weight at a decent pace and seeing a difference but literally all my happiness went away yesterday and struggling to find it again. Just like many of us, my weight has been up and down for many, many years and I actually have a lot of clothes (some even new) that I haven’t been able to wear in the past 2 years or so bc of weight gain (again). I’ve been as small as a size 4 in the past and I have all those clothes, plus some other sizes Even though I told myself I wouldn’t do it just yet until I lost a little more, I decided to go through my closet. I know I am not a size 4 so I didn’t touch those clothes and felt ok waiting for the near future to even look at them. But what really bothered me is that I tried on a shirt I wore in 2015 when I was literally the same weight i am today (I know bc i kept track on my Fitbit the last time I went through a major exercise and diet plan and lost a whole bunch)....and it didn’t fit!!! [emoji20][emoji20] i even went back to find a picture Back in 2015 when I had the shirt on and it looks good! I am so confused. I know bodies change and all but I really thought it would and it completely crushed me. I know it shouldn’t and I should be happy with where I am at but now I am super depressed and trying to understand why. You would think that if it fit then it should fit now right? Just needed to vent bc I hope some of you understand how I’m feeling. It’s amazing how one little thing can completely take away all the positive thoughts I had about this journey and my way forward. Btw, I have lost a total of 43 lbs.