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I am being banded in January, no pre op diet required and I have a similar attitude to Trish and Ang especially with holidays around! I will be on vacation for a week until Jan 2nd where I know food and alcohol will be plentiful so I have pledged to myself that come Jan 3rd it all ends and I focus on eating well, making that change from 2 weeks before surgery.

Hi there! I was banded 11/5, too -- just had my first fill a couple of days ago and will go back next week for another (no fluid in band at surgery). I had no hunger for quite a while but then started getting hungry and hungrier sooner -- still seems to be a few hours and I need food again rather than the 4-5 hours my doctor is looking for. I know I'm not having enough protein so today I began having a shake each morning. I have had one stuck episode when I just ate too fast and probably too much (steamed veg -- was craving beets). I have been exercising a lot. My weight loss was good but plateaued recently -- gained a few back just before fill. Had alcohol around Thanksgiving and a trip we took -- doctor good with that but I think it stalled weight loss or just a coincidence. May be time for my body to regroup -- 20 down, rest, now for 20 more! I am down one jean size and just so happy to be less obsessed with food.

Hey all - it's a while since I posted (and I was a newbie anyway so I hadn't posted much). I told myself it was because my surgery was still so far away that it was better to step away from the board and obsessing too much... but in reality it's because I'm anxious because I haven't told my husband and I don't know how to start. The surgery is Feb 5th! We have a few friends who have had the surgery and he is very negative and judgemental, critical and mocking. My main reason for getting it is PCOS - which causes weight gain as well as some other nasty side effects. My hormone levels are getting further and further away from where they should be, and the medications I was on are no longer working and are having a negative impact on my health. Honestly, the weight loss will be a bonus for me - it's resetting my hormones and becoming healthy again that I am most looking forward to. My BMI is "low" for this surgery at 36 - but I know that it will just get worse and worse so I should deal with it now while I am still relatively young. And he knows this - he has seen my struggle with awful hormonal conditions for 17 years. But all he ever says is that I need to work out more and eat better. A few things come into play in our relationship: 1. He is 25 years older than me (which I didn't find out about until after we were engaged - he lied about his age). 2. He is an alcoholic (which I didn;t find out about until after we were married. He is a binge drinker and so was able to stay sober for the months we were engaged). 3. I have an Irish accent that people here in the US gravitate to, and he gets very jealous. 4. He is not overweight as such, but has a belly from drinking and being middle-aged that he has been trying to lose since I met him. He yo-yos a lot, and goes on extreme fasts and workouts to lose it, then gains it all back when he goes on a drinking binge. He always talks about this magical day in the future when he has lost his gut, and it never comes. It will irritate him beyond belief that this day will come for me. These things make him very insecure, and while he gives me a hard time about my weight sometimes - I think he is very comfortable with me being fat as it means I am not going to leave him or be attractive to other men. He will be jealous of me. He might try to stop me getting the surgery. I'm not being fanciful - back in 2013 I was due to have a breast reduction. My boobs were massive, always had been even when I was 112 lbs. He supported my decision, wanted me to get the surgery... then he wen on a drinking binge the week before and I caught him trying to get my insurance cancelled so I couldn't have the op. When that didn't work he tried to call the hospital and cancel it - of course they wouldn't let him. When he sobered up he was mortified and bent over backwards to be supportive when I had the op - but it happened, and I am wary. To that end I am not telling him until after this Friday, as that is the end date for open enrollment on our insurance plan. I have gotten more savvy as time goes on! Please don't be lecturing me or telling me to leave. I know what the situation is, I know what I can deal with, and I have a plan. The only place I would want to go if I left would be home to Ireland, and that can't happen until my daughter is 16 - so I have 4.5 years to squirrel away money and position myself. I have a comfortable lifestyle, and it suits me to stay. I gave up everything to move here and be with him, and I figure I'm owed and would rather be comfortable until I can leave. If we divorced some other woman would move in and get what I'm owed - there is a shortage of men around here, esp men with good jobs. And honestly (don't judge me) - he is a 67 year old chronic alcoholic. He could pass away in the next 4.5 years and me and the kids would be pretty set. He doesn't bother me, we live pretty independently, there is no animosity, I have my own bedroom, and I pretty much do my own thing (like going home to Ireland for 6 weeks every summer). I have gone to all my weigh ins and pre-op appts without him even being in the slightest bit aware - that's how separate our lives tend to be. How do I start this conversation? He is smart and educated, but very judgemental. He is a therapist (haha, I know) who has had clients who have had the surgery and not done well. But they were a lot heavier than me, smokers and substance abusers, with severe mental health problems. I have read a lot and plan to make a note of all the benefits. I have some articles to show him - but I know he won't read them (he has a very short attention span and I've never seen him read a whole article never mind a book). I plan to ask him why he doesn't want me to have it - I know that "you could die" will be the only real thing he'll have to say - but I have a medical report showing that the mortality rate for sleeve surgery is 0.08%. He can't really say "because I'm jealous" as that isn't a valid argument. If he says it is the easy way out or the lazy way out I can cite facts to show him how it isn't - but even if it was... so what? So what if it was the easy way out it gets my health back on track and me feeling better? I mean, when I was having kids it was all epidural vs. med free and breast milk vs. formula. We all made our own choices, but in hindsight it didn't matter as long as the outcome was the same: a healthy baby. I'm trying to anticipate other things he might say, or stuff I should have prepped in advance. Everyone else I have told has been very supportive - my mum, two daughters, close friends. I know 4 people in my immediate circle who have had it and have asked a lot of questions. I guess my fear is that he will try to stop it somehow - I don't expect any support, but I don't want to blindside him by telling him afterwards. I don't plan on telling him my Dr's name or the hospital I'll be at, just in case. I'm very averse to confrontation and hate having hard conversations. I'm not scared of him - he isn't physically or emotionally threatening in any way, but I am scared to bring it up. Can't put my finger on why exactly. Thanks for listening to my ramble - I guess I'm just anxious, and I really could do without it because I am a natural worrier as it is!

LOL I've experienced this sort of this...both in my "real world", and in reading posts on this website! I'm amazed, almost daily, by the posts (here) that read "I'm X number of days post-surgery...when can I have (insert bad food/drink/behavior here) again??"! I rarely respond to those posts...sometimes its just better to keep my mouth shut... LOL As for people in my life, I tend to treat each question (and, Lordy, have there every been questions!!) as an opportunity to educate the other person regarding the realities of this surgery, and life afterwards. Oddly enough, the thing that seems to raise the most eyebrows is when I decline ordering a drink (and by drink I mean a non-alcoholic beverage) with my dinner. That really seems to throw waitresses right off their game! LOL Let people be amazed and bewildered by the lifestyle changes and choices we're making....maybe our example will make a difference in someone else's life one day!

My fear is now that I had finished my 6 month work up, go back to surgeon on the 10 th to go over pre-op diet and how to administer shots, schedule the surgery,and turn in final paperwork to my insurance which is Molina , that the insurance will find something to say nope we will not approve you... And I feel I've come too far to not get it. I've lost 41 pounds in my own and haven't had a cigarette since June 22nd and gave up alcohol ... Fingers crossed and praying I get my final approval. I've had plenty of surgeries so going under a knife don't scare me, I do fine with all that.

Yesterday was my first Options class at Kaiser Permanente. We had to weigh in prior to the actual session and it looks like I barley skimmed the 40 BMI >.< I'm just happy that I'm finally here and I'm on my way to getting sleeved if everything goes as planned. They want me to loose 10% of my body weight, so probably about 15 pounds. I don't think that should be too hard if I eliminate all fast foods since lately that's what I've been having for breakfast & dinner. I'm also going to start my green teas and smoothies as well as eating lots of healthy foods again. Maybe I could walk the park while the kids have baseball practice too. This weekend is Mothers Day weekend and I'm going to Las Vegas! SO.... I'm just going to make sure to choose healthy when eating.... but I'm not going to skip the alcohol =) So happy! I can already see future healthier & skinny self! -R

I have no problem believing the statistics quoted on the show of 30% of WLS patients end up substituting the addiction to food to something else. I think as Carnie Wilson said, it takes an addictive personality. I believe if those same people managed to lose the weight courtesy of WW or Jenny Craig, they would have done so by swapping addictions. An alcoholic who manages through AA or jail time or whatever to quit drinking would probably have the same liklihood (30%) of falling into another addictive situation. And all would have an even higher incidence of repeating the addiction. But with alcoholism for instance there is no band equivalent to keep you from drinking, as our bands limit how we can eat. She (Carnie) stated she is still addicted, she just finds other things to fixate on...now hers may be trying to "fix" other people or telling the world about her problems! As for the other guests, a woman who is less concerned with how the problem is affecting her family than being referred to as an alcoholic or an addict...it seems to me that is just the tip of the iceberg with her problems!! They also went into detail with the alcohol issue of how it affects the body different now, getting drunk on less, in a quicker time, and sobering up quicker. If you have any sort of addictive personality, that would be a big, huge draw! My brother has an addictive personality. When he was young it was pot. He got hurt in an accident and was side lined long enough recovering to escape that addiction, instead it was then his prescription meds. Well with my folks, and the Dr. they handled that one. Then it turned to alcohol. He struggled with alcoholism for years. His accident left him with brain damage, and the Dr.'s told us with his new level of behaviour he likely would never quit. Through a mix up he ended up forced into sobriety years later. He has been sober for over 7 years now. And now he has 2 new addictions, ones he fully recognizes, and intends to keep. He sees what is happening to him. Now he smokes cigarettes, he never did til his mid 30's! And he drinks coffee...tons of it. He has no less than 20-25 clamp top jars of coffee beans in his kitchen. He grinds and brews his coffee...but he is always shopping for new types...it is so wierd!!! Now he has suffered ( dealt with, or whatever) with all these addictions through his 44 years, but the one thing he has never turned to??? Food!!! He is 6'3" and never has weighed more than 155 pounds!!! Then there is me....We would have made Oprah's head spin!!! I do wonder if most people recognize their own tendencies to addict to things. Maybe that should be part of the psychological work up prior to banding. I agree Oprah seemed really rude to the nurse. The comment was uncalled for, all of us knew we were fat, just as she did when she was, we don't need it pointed out to us especially on national TV! Maybe seeing that will keep us from doing those things if we remember it! Kat

Hi guys. I would like to know if after sleeve we can drink wine or other alcoholic beverages. I think I will not eat and drink anything interesting for a long time after the surgery, but after some months can I think to go a party and have a drink for a toast? (e.g. Wedding, birthday, various celebration...)

Where I live, the social evening life without alcohol is very difficult, but i have already adopted a fake gin tonic as aperitif; tonic Water, ice and slice of lime... Looks great and is good.

As @@Dub says, it's all about moderation during drinking and remediation in the days after. I only drink sugar free drinks that are all around 100 calories. If I'm in a situation where I'm drinking for a long period of time (all day on a boat, followed by dinner with friends), I might get to 500 calories of alcohol on such a day. This might get me up to 2,000 total that day, which is more than normal, but will not break my diet. When I see it show up on the scale, I go back to my post opt diet and get back under goal in a day or two (remediation). That said, if you think you've been a food addict or may have alcoholic tendencies, I'd steer clear. Btw, unlike most of the women here, I don't find it hits me any harder than it did when I was on a low carb diet back in the day. If all you have in your stomach is Protein and veggies, you will feel the booze faster.

Everyone is different and what works for some may not work for others. This is not a One Size Fits All situation. If you have a concern that alcohol will be a trigger or problem for you - it doesn't automatically mean it will be for others. Most who gained weight back because of drinking probably didn't continue eating healthy either. It's the same as assuming every fat person is a soda/pop addict and must abstain forever. You can't generalize in these situations.

I seriously doubt all of these people are in bad marriages. Just because your spouse thinks that you should go about something a different way doesn't mean that he doesn't care about your health. You have to remember that surgery is risky too and to a lot of people who haven't dealt with weight problems it sounds scary and extreme. It's like any other struggle, whether it's with alcohol or anxiety, people just don't get it unless they've been through it. I will say that my husband has mostly been great. When he first heard the idea he was totally against it, having only heard of WLS in reference to people who are hundreds of pounds overweight. Once I explained it more and he learned more he got on board, but I will say that if I were to cancel tomorrow he'd probably be relieved. I am self pay so it was a big decision for us even on top of the usual fears of surgery. He also put his foot down on Mexico and said no way. Yes, WLS is about health but there ARE other ways to lose weight. Most of us have done them all and been successful for an amount of time. People close to us see it and think, "well obviously he/she can lose weight on their own, they've done it before!". Like I said, they just don't get it. Especially people like my husband who can eat anything they want and never exercise and be in great shape. They just can't wrap their minds around it. After a few days of talking about the money I just told him, "I'm not going to do this without your support, so you make a decision. If you decide to support it I don't want to hear anything other than encouragement from you after this". He decided we should go forward with it and has been great, but I know he'd still be fine with me not doing it. It's okay for spouses to disagree, especially about major medical decisions.

Heres my thing, there is a lot of research done these days, and its proven that taking in medical marijuana by ingesting it, is way healthier then alcohol and doesnt have addictive traits like alcohol. These are facts. Not opinions. I dont encourage anyone to do anything. ONLY MY EXPERIENCE. They day i came home i had my infused coconut oil and i still do to this day. And i think ive been pretty successful. Anyone that takes a prescription drug has no right to tell anyone else that this prescription is different. The days of close minded "marijuana is the devil" are over. Please i encourage you to do your research before you bash something that youve been told your whole life is the devil so thats what you believe. I hope everyone finds what THEY NEED to be successful on this journey. We are all different and may take different roads but i hope we all make healthy new lives and continue to grow. ❤️ i hope everyone has a great day!

Oh I agree a puff on Friday is ok - Or a glass of wine wont kill any of us - But every single person on this site has a addiction issue - None of us could control our weight and food intake! That is a fact, so my view we have to be even more careful during this journey that we are not transferring out addiction to food to say pot or alcohol. We all did this to get healthy and see no health benefits from Pot or Vodka, One thing i know for sure I will die way younger then i should have due to beating he hell out of myself and playing way to hard with Vodka, lifestyle and smoking! Nobody can dispute that fact, I just hope all the work we all are doing to get healthy can offset the damage we have done already

How has it backfired? Making the thread go away does not remove the moral imperative to let her surgeon know that he is about to operate on someone who is likely to suffer severe consequences on his watch. You don't like the answers you received. You wanted to be told, "You're right! She shouldn't have the surgery!" And you were. All of us know that you can't do a thing to influence your friend. She will drink---it's what she does. You are not expected to cure her alcoholism. But when you are in possession of important information that jeopardizes not only her, but those caring for her---and the hospital---you are morally obligated to let the appropriate people know. Having a thread deleted will not remove that responsibility.

Well, he may drink. But the fact of the matter is that SOMEONE has to tell her surgeon that she's an alcoholic. It's immoral not to. If you don't think he will, call yourself. Or find the surgeon's email online and send an email. "I am very concerned about my friend, your patient Jane Doe. She has a severe alcohol addiction, and has indicated she has not shared this information with you. I am concerned about surgical risks; in particular, I am concerned that she might experience delirium tremens during the immediate postop period. I have asked her to share this information with you, and she has indicated she will not--that she did not share it during her psych evaluation, and will not comply with any preop diet/postop rules you have about drinking alcohol. I know that HIPAA prevents you from discussing this patient with anyone, but I hope that this information is received in the spirit it is intended---to protect my friend, and to protect you."

Alcoholism is such a sad and destructive disease. Being an adult child of an alcoholic I can understand your frustration and concern for your friend. Unfortunately, without knowing who her surgeon is there is little you can do other than what you are doing. Keep talking to her and remind her that lap band surgery will not save her life if she is determined to destroy herself with the booze. You are a good friend for trying to help her, but I will tell you what I told my father; We can protect our loved ones from anyone and anything in this world.... except themselves. Sadly, if your friend is determined to destroy herself with drink there is little you can do to save her. I wish you both peace and good health.

I was asked how much I drank on a pre=psych form and then in the Psych's office. He asked a couple different times and ways. I drink a couple times a year and he had a hard time understanding that. Makes me sweat, makes me go to sleep...not as much fun as it was in college. About your friend. She will have to run into a wall before she will change. All this fuss over her telling her doc is pointless, though I know you care much for her. Alcoholics and other addicts are fabulous at diverting attention away from their problems and slipping out of your questions. She will stop when she has to or wants to. Then you can offer your kind words of encouragement and hugs. Hopping over to youtube to watch the surgeries.

My first "holiday" post-op. I have realized even more so - how food was a part of all celebrations. My husband and I didn't plan to go out for Valentine's Day because our youngest is sick. So how to make this day special without centering on food. Wow. Pretty hard for me. Every idea that popped into my head started with some special snack. I could make heart shaped cake...no.....or cup cakes with pink fluffy frosting....no. A fancy dinner with sauces and bread...no. Quite frustrating. What could we do to make it feel like a fun day-- but without the focus being food?? And I am not at stage where I can enjoy alcohol yet. Really looking forward to that! :-) Well I decided to make spaghetti for my husband and our two little boys. And a salad. Nothing special- just an ordinary dinner for the family. I had low fat ; low carb; high protein pureed food.But to the table - I added pink, red, and white candles. And a valentine at each place setting. When dinner was over we decided to go crazy with the boys making Valentines for all the grandparents and aunts and uncles. Sugar-free red jello for dessert- boys loved it. I got through it. No cheating on the bariatric diet. I focused on the atmosphere of love and the memories of the night. I felt fulfilled and happy. To be honest- I am surprised I feel that good. Of course I miss the annual pig-out at the favorite dining place and the big ole box of chocolates. But this year - what I take from Valentines Day is a beautiful card and gift from my husband. Warm memories making valentines with our boys. And knowing the scale will for sure be one pound lighter in the morning. Nothing "sweeter" than that. Happy Valentine's Day everybody.

Personally, I wouldn't. Cocktails are empty calories to begin with but also the alcohol is going to hit you very hard. I'm not sure what the recommendation is for wait time for alcohol but that doesn't seem long enough.

Okay, the marshmallow mud pie are bars and they're great -- got them at WalMart. The Protein drinks do not have sugar alcohol in them -- 1 g of sugar, no sugar alcohol listed. Got them at Target

I wasn't cleared for any alcohol consumption until around 3.5-4 months. My surgeon warned me against red, dry wines. I didn't ask his reasoning, but I drink white Rieslings now without issue. Some surgeon stress no alcohol until close or at goal due to the wasted calories and dehydration factor of alcohol.

That's great! I think I can handle 1 on the sugar alcohol. I wish they would just get rid of that stuff. More things are supposed to come out with stevia.

I took chewables (YCK!) didn't make it a priority.(I did take my Rx pills-they are small) Followed my post-op diet. Now I take my Vitamins everyday. Calcium is the hardest the pills are so big (tried all the crewables-I can't tolerale any sugar alcohols) There are some small ones but you have to take sooo many! I was so glad to get that band out of me! The best to you Dee

I, personally, would suggest another place. That atmosphere tempts me too much. Post bariatric surgery you have an uber low tolerance for alcohol. I'd be afraid I'd be tempted to have "just one" or even a sip and feel it too much.