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I had lapband in January of 2007 and lost 50lbs over one year. I stayed about the same in 2008 and then in 2009 started having some issues, and at the same time moved from Texas to Arkansas. I couldn't find a Doctor in Arkansas that would take me (since I already had the surgery), so I had to see my Doctor back in Texas. When my problems began, it was after my last fill, and I couldn't eat ANYTHING, and was continuously stuck. I began to lose weight again, but also was having major spasms in my esophagus. When I was finally able to see my Dr. in Texas, he completely emptied my band and we left it that way for 4 months. Needless to say, I ate everything that I hadn't been able to eat for the last 18 months. In September, after X-rays and other tests confirmed that my band was fine, we started from the beginning and began filling again. Right now, I have some restriction (very minor), but my eating habits are horrible. I've completely forgotten how to eat as a bandster. My weight gain has stopped and I've held steady, but obviously I am not losing. It came to me early this morning that I hadn't utilized this website in a long time, and that I needed to get back here. I would love to have a mentor who can help me get back on track, and focus on the things that are important . . . my health!

I really am working on not eating sugars because sugar is what has contributed to my past weight gain and diabetes. Sugar is addictive and you can eat a lot of foods really easy that are sugary. those foods are sliders. I choose to avoid sugars as much as possible and eat a wholesome diet focusing around proteins and veggies. I eat or drink anything with caffeine in them now either. i don't miss it either. My plan is to eat healthy and balanced, like the Paleo diet. I even choose to eat foods that are organic without pesticides and antibiotics put in them. Healthy only for me.... I really love this. A side note, I am not perfect and will occassionally eat something that is not organic when eating at friends houses and restaurants. I love my new life style.....

My husband is getting chaptered ("medically 'unfit' for duty") for PTSD and not his weight, even though he's been flagged for 3 years for it - weight gain happened when he got on his PTSD meds 3 years ago. *lol* But we did hear that when we get chaptered we get to keep Tricare for a short amount of time and ifyou get a PCM to work fast enough and get the referrals in to the proper doctors, he could possibly get the lapband done before they cut the insurance off. So that's what we're aiming to do when we finally know when we're getting out.

Thanks, kiz! Did you notice any weight gain after the gb surgery (if you don't mind me asking)? Or do you find it harder to lose weight because of the gb removal?

I was sleeved in May 2014. My top weight was 252 (the day of surgery) and I lost down to 165 in a little over a year’s time. I have since gained weight and am at 220. I’m extremely depressed about it, yet nothing I am doing is helping. I’ve read that some have undergone a re-sleeve after some weight gain and I’m interested in finding anyone who has had this done and if so, has it been successful a 2nd time and who has re-sleeved you? I moved to Iowa three years ago and can’t find anyone who does it. HELP!

I had surgery on 11/29 and have lost 26 lbs. Now, it has seemed since I started pureed food (mushies) I have stalled. No weight gain....just not moving. I am getting in 60gm's of protein a day and doing what I am supposed to. Although, at my last appointment he told me he expects a 21% weight loss by 30 days. So, I am good as of right now. Thing is, you can't exercise for another so many weeks. I live in Michigan, so walking outside right now is not an option. I need to invest in a treadmill I think .

Even if you physically had to drink shakes, you could up your calories with healthy shakes too. I have just ordered a product called suplimed The Weight Gain Supplement That's Your Sensible Weight Gain Solution to help me up my calories on my off days (lots of calories packed in to small doses 4 oz or 1/2 serving can get 254 calories) this is just the one I liked, but GNC and other stores have other product options too. I am about to use my 3 days on 1 day off practice with my vsg to maybe try and prevent a stall. I will keep everyone posted on how that works. My plan is 3 days at 600-800 calories, 1 day 1500-1800 calories. repeat. There is no way early in my sleeve I can get 1500-1800 healthy calories without using a liquid suppliment, so I am planning ahead. My number is higher with 1500-1800 based on my studies of Base metabloic rate for my desired goal weight and body fat percentage. A female will typically be a lower number than that--web search for Base metabilic rate (BMR) on how to figure out your own. Also once I can eat regular food easily I will adjust the suppliment amounts to match the calorie levels and try to use shakes more as suppliments then and not a mainstay.

Today I am back on the blog after four years! I lost a total of 87 pounds and about 2/3 of that weight came off after the gastric sleeve in 2012. i wanted to give an update, a cautionary tale and maybe a not-so-depressing perspective of one who has not been a weight loss success. Busyness and stress has always been my enemy when it comes to weight loss. It often takes me by surprise and whisks away any structure and success I have built into my life. One day I am doing well and eating and exercising and then BAM! It all goes out the window. Even my house gets messy and cluttered during those times of extreme stress and time pressure. I work a job that is not just 9-5 so I take much of my work home, I work from home often and get extreme deadlines like grant applications etc. Before I initially lost weight before surgery, was a very busy time, but I put the accountability of a structured weight loss program into my schedule. This is the only way I initially lost 30 pounds at the beginning. I also started working out with a trainer. Although it is the cost of a vacation every year, I need it to be successful. When I had the weight loss surgery, I had quit my stressful administrative job and was in a window of time less busy (even though I was working). All went well with my weight loss after surgery (even though slow as was my history of weight loss) until I started a new job. Once the stress of the job was getting to me, I stopped the morning walks and began to eat more frequently and less clean. A bad case of pneumonia and 40 days of steriods, further put me back and I gained weight. Now, I am facing some serious foot pain from plantar fascitis, nothelped by weight gain. All this downhill trend happened as my career has blossomed. However, if truth be told, I prefer a healthy body to work success. Looking back, I am humbled by the setback and have felt moments of panic. However, something in me has shifted as I ponder my failure. All in all, I am still down over 50 pounds from my initial weight (228 from 282). Although the failure of weight gain from 194 hits me in the face, I have come to a gentler self-assessment and I like myself better than ever. I can now look in the mirror and feel okay about my curves. I lost a bit from my highest weight regain (240) although it has taken a year to take off. So, all this to say, count your blessing and jump back in. Love yourself in the process and never give up. If I had given up, I would easily be 300 pounds. I am now concentrating on getting back to the losing mode and it is workomg...slowly. Limiting to 3 small meals and 2 small snacks if needed, drinking a lot but separating from food, doing some exercise every day and finding joy in the process. For me, finding joy includes time with my loved ones and having quiet time as I pursue God in my life...I am even going back to some ballroom dance classes. Dance on everyone! I wish the best for all of you! Tell me your story...I love to read them.

I lost a big chunk of weight in my two weeks pre op and my first 4 weeks after surgery. I started eating solid foods and the scale did not move for two weeks and I am actually gaining weight back. 3 pounds so far. Am not eating too many calories. Is my honey moon stage over???

I am 5 weeks post op and have been going up and down a few ounces to a pound..because of a stall...this morning I weighed in and gained 3 pounds... wth is this???? Anyone else have this happen???

Don't you feel the world is attacking obese people this week? It seems each day a new article comes out with another poke at obesity. Now, they are saying that being obese is linked to mental illness and that the fat aren't jolly? True, I am an emotional eater, who added two hundred pounds following the deaths of my mother and my boyfriend --- BUT I have always been FAT AND JOLLY!! I never denied myself anything that gave pleasure, and food gave pleasure. Also, I am a people person, so sharing good company and good food -- with a lot of laughter -- was common in my life. Though I am learning smarter ways to manage my weight, I certainly don't want to lose the laughter and friends. Joyce Here's the AP article... Study says obesity, depression linked By LINDSEY TANNER The Associated Press CHICAGO — Obesity is strongly linked with depression and other mood disorders, according to a new study by Group Health Cooperative. Whether obesity might cause these problems or is the result of them is not certain, but there are theories to support both arguments. Depression often causes people to abandon activities, and some medications used to treat mental illness can cause weight gain. On the other hand, obesity is often seen as a stigma, and overweight people often are subject to teasing and other hurtful behavior. The study of more than 9,000 adults found that mood and anxiety disorders, including depression, were about 25 percent more common in the obese people studied than in the nonobese. Substance abuse was an exception; obese people were about 25 percent less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol than slimmer participants. The results appear in the July issue of Archives of General Psychiatry, released Monday. The lead author was Dr. Gregory Simon, a researcher with Group Health in Seattle. The results "suggest that the cultural stereotype of the jolly fat person is more a figment of our imagination than a reality," said Dr. Wayne Fenton of the National Institute of Mental Health, which funded the study. "The take-home message for doctors is to be on the lookout for depression among their patients who are overweight," Fenton said. Both conditions are quite common. About one-third of U.S. adults are obese, and depression affects about 10 percent of the population, or nearly 21 million U.S. adults in a given year. Previous studies produced conflicting results on whether obesity is linked with mental illness, although a growing body of research suggests there is an association. The latest study helps resolve the question, said Dr. Susan McElroy, editor of a textbook on obesity and mental disorders. "This is a state-of-the-art psychiatric epidemiology study that really confirms that there is, in fact, a relationship," she said. The study was based on an analysis of a national survey of 9,125 adults who were interviewed to assess mental state. Obesity status was determined using participants' self-reported weight and height. About one-fourth of all participants were obese. Twenty-two percent of obese participants had experienced a mood disorder, compared with 18 percent of the nonobese.

I thought that the relationship between losing weight/appetite level/clothing size was straight forward, but now I'm confused and need perspective. As a 3-month post-op, I only had 1 fill so far and I wanted to get my second fill since it took me 1 week just to lose 1 pound, and then I remained the same weight for another week. My surgeon said I should come in for another fill once my weight loss stalls. I am feeling hungrier, but I still only eat once or twice a day. When I'm hungry I try ignore the sensation as long as possible. Part of me feels that if I get a second fill it just might be too tight for me to eat anything, or it'll take away the hunger sensation like I felt in the first post-op month. Since last week I also had NSV. When I went to buy work uniforms the salesperson took out size M when I asked for L, and it fit! Even in highschool (before the weight gain of my mid 20s) I always wore size L, but the number on the scale doesn't seem to match this newer clothing size. I'm still 41 pounds over my goal weight. My bra band size is also down another 2 inches since the measurement was taken. (I can't exactly remember my previous waist size measurement, I need to write this stuff down!) I'm also moving to a new place soon that's a 4.5 hours drive away, so I'd like your input on whether I should go ahead and squeeze in an appointment for a second fill or just wait longer once there's no other noticeable NSV.

Pckeys, you’ve touched on a real concern I’ve had...”Preserving BMR”. All of my life I’ve heard that weight gain is often a result of repeated very low calorie dieting that translates into a permanently lowered BMR, thus we pack on weight even easier each time. Will this extended sprint of 800 cal months create the same? If so, are we better off consuming 1,000 daily even if we perhaps lose at a slower rate? A question I keep intending to ask surgeon or NUT but have not. Hmmmm.

I would call for clarification. That is a lot of sugar dumping back into your system. Sugary drinks is what contributes to weight gain. Sugar free it makes no difference to the body the brain registered it as regular sugar which increase your desire to want to eat more. Please check with your nutritionist Good luck.

I am wondering if anyone else has had this problem....I went for my first fill on Thursday, 2/5, and I weighed in at the doctors at 274, but today I got on the scale and I weigh 280. I don't know what happen, I hardly consumed anything the last couple of days cause I don't feel hungry at all, I have all I can do right now to drink my shakes. :thumbdown::confused: I don't know what is wrong.

2yrs, weight coming back, help

I have dieted off and on most of my adult life!! And if anyone would ask me if they should do it I would say go with your heart!! Do what you feel is right even if others don't!! But I agree I was just a few months from turning 30, but I say that it was a great time, I was done having kids, didn't have to worry about the weight gain there. But anyway long story short lol YES IT IS!!

That was me, when... 8.15.12 It has been 4 months since I posted my first blog entry. I am happy to write that this week - Monday, August 13, 2012 - I was officially approved for surgery by Cigna. My surgery date is scheduled for September 9th. I am very excited and know the next 20 days will fly by! I've waited so long for this that it almost doesn't feel real. I guess as I have my pre-op visit and do the pre-op diet it will seem more real. When the coordinator called me I was ecstatic. I can still hear her voice telling me I was approved! The insurance process was so long and drawn out for me it was a dream come true to be approved. Right now I am struggling with a weird guilt. I can't articulate exactly how I feel but *guilt* is the best word I can come up with. I think part of it is that I am a low BMI'er and not as deserving ? Maybe, I can't tell for sure. I can say that I've always had issues with being overweight. I yo-yo and have gotten slim and then put all the weight back on quickly. I worry that I am putting myself in harms way and at risk because I have no self control or will power and almost like I don't deserve the surgery. Its odd, hard to explain. Add that to my excitement and you have my current frame of mind. I worry about being a good example for my daughters and wonder if this is setting a bad example for them. Hey, if you can't control yourself then just have surgery like me. Ugh... I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and that is a real struggle for me and the main cause of the weight gain over the past 3 years. I know if I get my weight under control the joints and body would feel so much better. I know I need to do this and I should do it but I almost feel like I need to make myself suffer for being heavy. I have this stigma that this is what I deserve for not being good enough like *regular* people that can control their weight. You know this fat girl guilt. Well, just wanted to get an entry out that reflected how I was feeling right at this moment. I can't wait to look back at this entry a few weeks from now and smile because everything has worked itself out and I am post op and feeling good.

For me it was life changing in every sense. The surgery was quite simple, minor pain at the incision areas, but aside from that really no serious pain. Thankfully, I didn't have some of the 'gas pains' that others have. No nausea, vomiting or extreme discomfort. Not really very hungry for the first few weeks either. I'm not sure if it's common practice, but right before my surgery and at my 6-month check up I had a "Myers Cocktail" which is basically a bunch of vitamins given through IV. Really helped with recovery and energy levels during a time where you really can't get much energy from food. YMMV, but for me recovery was super fast. I was eating pureed food by day 2 and solid foods by I think the end of week 2. Don't worry too much about calories in the beginning. Regardless of what you eat, you won't be able to eat much. Refried beans were a lifesaver for me the first few days on pureed foods, and the Ricotta bake that you see mentioned so much here was also a staple. Couple pieces of advice (again, everyone's different but some of what I see on here leads me to believe that the issue is more frequent than some others): Pay attention to your water. Sounds silly, but right after surgery I had no interest in drinking anything. I had to remind myself to drink water. So I started carrying around my water everywhere. That helped. Kept me sipping throughout the day. One of my biggest issues pre-op was that I ate fast, and when I say fast I mean really really fast. I honestly believe that was a huge part of my weight gain as it led to difficulty digesting, overeating, etc. Use the time in the beginning to re-train yourself on eating slowly and chew chew chew chew chew! Even your liquids. Even your pureed food. Even your smoothies. Chew it all. Sounds weird, but helped me monumentally. Don't try to jump into exercise too early, but don't put it off too long either. We all do this to bring about changes beyond food. We all want to be more active, make healthier choices. It's easy to want to jump right in, but I would wait until you get clearance from your doc (ask) to start, because any injury can cause complications with the surgery or set you back in your recovery or both. Also, you don't want to wait too long because it's WAY TOO EASY to fall back into old habits. Ask your doc at every checkup if you're cleared to exercise and when you are, get moving. Have a plan ready to go. Start with walks and move into beginner plans if you have to and then progressively take on more as you can, but start. Don't get discouraged with stalls. They happen. For some they happen sooner than others, but I think most of us experience them. Just stick to your plan. There are some good articles on here about how to work through stalls. Stalls will hit your ego a lot harder than your overall progress, I promise. Keep with your plan, and you'll push through. Use this time to change what you eat. Just because you can't eat as much of something does not mean that it's a good thing to eat. In the very beginning (first 1-2 weeks), you just need to get something in. Once you start back on solid foods, make sure you're choosing healthy foods. That doesn't mean you have to count calories, macros or any of that. Of course you can if that's what helps you, but I would use this time to find what works best for you. Since you can't eat a lot of different foods, chances are when you start back on solids you'll likely be eating only 1-2 different foods at a time. There won't be 3-4 sides, etc. It's a good time to see how different foods make you feel. Some people do great on a high-protein, low-carb diet. That didn't do it for me. I stuck with the physician's plan for the first 30 days (high protein), but I wanted something more balanced and more sustainable (for me) long-term. I made the change to go to a whole-foods based diet, and it's what I still do today, almost 5 years post-op. I stay away from anything processed as much as I possibly can. This doesn't limit me as much as other diets and it worked really for me. Try foods and see how they make you feel. Weed out the ones that leave you feeling bad, bloated, tired, etc. Enjoy what you couldn't enjoy pre-op. When you get out there and start enjoying the things that you may not have been able to do before your surgery, it's automatic motivation to stay on plan. If you have activities or certain things you have had to sit out because of your weight, having the opportunity to do them is like being a kid again and doing these activities for the first time. Remember those experiences. They will get you through any challenges you might face. Remember that times do get challenging, but that's why you're here. There's a lot of support here. I'm sure you have family and friends to help in that arena as well, but there's something about talking with people who've experienced everything you're going through. Don't forget that we're here. Sorry for the long-winded post, but I hope this gives you some encouragement as you start your journey. Best of luck to you and please keep us in the loop with how everything is going!

This is my story and Journey after having my bypass years ago-9 to be specific. It all started out with a huge hiatal hernia to be repaired. My surgeon recommend me to seek lap band surgery, as being overweight might not hold the hernia repair , and he told me it would be a real diservice to me if he did not advice me to do so. So, off I went to a weight loss seminar, and spoke with Dr. Gregory Schroder as to wether or not I would be a candidate. He felt not, as having the Nisson Fundoplasty could potenuate problems down the road. I so appreciated his honesty, and he mentioned a surgeon who performs gastric bypasses to see if I was a candidate. Immediately I was, despite my history of depression and chrohns.. So off I go. Oh I was told that there could be complications such as a leak, and nausea post op, but this rarely happends. I was also told to be very strict with my diet, because after three years, your puch my be stretched, and weight gain indeed can happen. I was very compliant. Weight loss very successful.Hoever, ther have been so many complications down the road. My surgeon left to go to Doctor's Without Borders, and has left the state. I ended up having immediate surgeery to remove my gallbladder 1 year later. Dr. Shroder's group did that for me. Three years post-op I had an open strangulated hernia repair- again by Dr. Gregory Schroder. I suffer from chronic nausea and vomiting. I have terrible painful lower cramps as well. I had a picc line 3 years ago, as my weight has drooped so low due to the nausea and vomiting. My weight has dropped as low as 86 pounds. I just can't keep the weight on. How ironic life is. You'd think how nice it would be to eat and not gain a pound, but it has become a curse. I could not work anymore in my favorite job as a PACU nurse, as I didnt have the strength to move the stretchers anymore, or the stamina. The excertion just made my weight drop even more. I can work , but can't do physical labor anymore. I want you to know I watch MY 600 POUND LIFE. My husband and daughter don't understand. So many people struggle with different things in their lifes. Life after surgery is a Journey in itself, and will always be. I so applaud those who share their stories, and know that the journey never stops. I share my story here, becaus gastric bypass is a serious surgery. I think people should really think about it instead of jumping on it right away like I did. Learn to love yourself. I know how hard it is to be overweight. Everyone wants a quick fix. I know I did. I wish everyone who does have the surgery much success. I will continue with my story as time progresses. Bless you all-CBT

My DH took it and it worked wonderfully! He was smoking 2 packs a day, then had surgery in May 2007. He decided it wasn't worth it to loose weight to be healthy, yet keep smoking. He has been smoke free since Aug 2007 and has no regrets. As for weight gain, he didn't have any, but he did start it after being banded.

:help:Last night was a really bad night! I have had several episodes where I start by having to throw up something I ate that sticks and then it progresses to not being able to keep down even a sip of water. Usually, by the morning, and with no sleep, I go get my fill taken out. Last night, I determined in my heart to see this thing through without having to call my doctor, drive over to Texas, have the fill taken out, and start over with the inevitable weight gain of the "freedom to eat" ticket (no fill)! Me and the Lord had a long and continual talk through the night and praise God this morning I didn't have to go have my fill out! I am trying to recall all of the enormous amounts of information you get before surgery about eating right, troubleshooting, etc. and I started out this morning with a glass of grape juice. Liquids today, soft foods next, gradually building up to a normal diet (if I can ever find what that is!)! I feel like I have jumped a tremendous hurdle and I feel really encouraged! Pray for me that I can FOLLOW THE RULES! To date, I have lost 30 pounds - several times in the past year actually - and I want that number to be 80!

Went to meet with the Bariatric Coordinator on Wednesday to start the process. She thinks I’m a good candidate and has given me all the first steps I need to do Already have all kinds of appointments set up... psyc consult, nutritionist and physical theory (that one was new to me... apparently its to help people who have not been active get active safely... she admitted it was silly for me but I have to go anyways). Go back in a month to see how I’m doing and how much weight I have lost (Need to lose 11lbs before I can have surgery). I’m very excited, but of course I had a curveball thrown at me today... found out I’m officially 'pre-diabetic' (exactly what I wanted to avoid) and I have some insulin issue too... now the doc wants to play the game of weight gain because of above or above because of weight gain :scared2:. This should be fun but seeing I have been over weight my whole life, I think the band will be a great tool for me. Well, that was long but what can I say... I’m excited :w00t:

Lee, Good for you for doing all you can to get healthier and doing what's best for you! I know it has to be hard to not have a lot of support from your family, hopefully they will come around! I posted my jealousy situation on another thread a few weeks ago, but I'll repost it here on yours, here's my deal: I am currently having a situation with a lifelong friend who has always and forever been the "thin" one and now our roles are almost reversed (I am by no means "thin" yet but. . . .) she has been gaining steadily over the last several years and now we are within 10 pounds of each other. Her weight continues to go up and thankfully, mine is still going down. She is having a very hard time with this as she is supposed to be the the "thin" one, not me -- I'm supposed to stay fat, forever. It has, as you can imagine, really put a strain on our friendship. She claims to diet and exercise constantly but when we are together and there is food involved, she makes all of the wrong choices for "dieting" or eating healthy and tries to get me to do the same. She gets very aggravated when I tell her I can't eat the cheesesteaks, thick-crust pizzas, mega fries and strombolis anymore. I've tried to explain to her that it will get stuck and cause me tremendous pain, not to mention all the other fun stuff we go through when something clashes with our band! I'm not sure how this is going to work out, but right now, it doesn't look too good. I'm really hoping she can come to terms with her weight gain and not be so negative towards me for doing something that is improving my health. It has to be hard for her, having such a role reversal, and I know all too well how being overweight and unhappy feels.......I've had years and years of practice. I've offered to exercise with her, share recipes, whatever, but she's not interested. The thing that really got to her was when her 7-year-old said "mommy, Stacy is skinnier than you now, you're getting really fat!" I know that really hurt her feelings, too. I feel really bad for her because I know her struggle, but she doesn't want to work at losing weight together. I don't know, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I posted this about a month ago and sadly, nothing has changed. I've lost a few more pounds and she has gained more and become more bitter. I'm almost afraid to bring up anything about weight loss or healthy eating because she bites my head off. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to and she gets really ticked off if our friends comment on my weight loss. We have definitely drifted further apart; it seems the more weight I lose the madder she gets. :faint:

Honestly, shy may be in a fair amount of denial. I denied my weight gain for a LONG time. Sure, I was overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds... HOLY CRAP I NEED TO LOSE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!!!! It was a bit of a shock when I MADE myself see what I looked like, how much I weighed and what was "normal". This may be a part of it. She is definitely in denial about her size and I don't think she is being honest about her weight or diet either. She is a twin and her sister is at least 30 pounds smaller than her and wears a smaller size; they are constantly in competition and she seems to feel that if she can get in a smaller size (whether it zips or not) it fits. Unfortunately, it looks like she is about to burst out of her clothes because she refuses to get a bigger size. I had a friend in high school who was bigger than me, so I figured I was 'okay' if I stayed smaller than her... her and I both gained weight proportionately over the years, I was still smaller than her tho, maybe your friend feels something like this? I'm sure this is part of it too. I was ALWAYS the "fat" one in the group, weighing at least 50 pounds or more than everyone else. The rest of our friends don't have a problem with my weight loss or the surgery, and are very supportive and complimentary. But, I'm not the fattest anymore. Our friends say that if we stand together, she is much bigger than I am. Of course, my mental image hasn't changed yet so I still see myself 50 pounds heavier and think the rest of my friends are nuts, lol! I hope it can get worked out, I've lost alot of friendships for various reasons, mostly that most of the friends I've had are still living the same lives they lived in high school (10 years later), and it drives me nuts! but all of the friendships lost for whatever reason hurt. Thank you! I hope we can work it out too - it's a lifelong friendship I would hate to have end over jealousy. Our kids are friends, and it's a shame she is so bitter right now. It's to the point none of the rest of our friends even invite her to parties or outings because she is so negative and unhappy even around her kids and they don't want her around THEIR kids! It does hurt too, she was really excited before I had the surgery. . . . .until you could "see" I lost weight. Maybe it has to do with me getting more attention now. Maybe she is jealous because I fade into the woodwork less now? I don't know. Right now I'm just giving her time and space as she needs it. There's not much else I can do. Thanks again for the support and kind words. I hope everything is okay too with you and your mom! Take care!