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Well, I had surgery on the 12th but when the dr cut into me, he seen my liver didn't look right, so he took a biopsy of it and my gall bladder and my spleen and my intestines. Long story short...they found that I have non alcoholic fatty liver sirrosis.. stage 3. The dr said doing a bypass would have killed me... but I can get the sleeve done. the only thing that will help my liver is to lose weight or I will have to have a transplant. So, I go back to my surgeon on the 20th and I am hoping we can get right on to the sleeve, and not let any more time pass.

Well, I had surgery on the 12th but when the dr cut into me, he seen my liver didn't look right, so he took a biopsy of it and my gall bladder and my spleen and my intestines. Long story short...they found that I have non alcoholic fatty liver sirrosis.. stage 3. The dr said doing a bypass would have killed me... but I can get the sleeve done. the only thing that will help my liver is to lose weight or I will have to have a transplant. So, I go back to my surgeon on the 20th and I am hoping we can get right on to the sleeve, and not let any more time pass.

@@Kimcamm you are so right! It is hard to get through the many emotions without the go to comfort food that we are used to. I used to eat whatever I wanted when feeling depressed or have a case of beer(that was bad) and now I can't do that anymore. Some foods don't agree with me and alcohol doesn't either. Learning to press on through those feelings without those is hard.

I have a food addiction too. The thing is, you can't quit eating, like smoking or drinking alcohol and unhealthy food is all around us, I just drove by a billboard showing a McDonald's burger and I wanted one, I wasn't hungry BUT that burger looked good!!! Life is hard and this is probably the hardest thing you (all of us) will go thru that is truly our OWN obstacle, not our spouses or kids, so that in itself is tough, especially if you always put others first. Well good luck everyone, the struggle goes on.

You're headed in the right direction--however, as the ex-wife of an alcoholic, be aware that you can slip into another situation like this rather easily. I would suggest some sort of counseling, maybe even an al-anon group. It takes real work to root out the issues that allow us to get sucked into an addict's life--and there are all kinds of addicts.

Not all alcohols are the same. Cetyl alcohol and stearyl alcohol are good alcohols, they are fatty alcohols and emollients and in a complently different class than straight alcohol or rubbing alcohol. CeraVe contains cetyl alcohol which is a good alcohol. Which is why dermatologist recommend CeraVe, for people with dry skin. I wouldn't put the body lotion on my face though, they make a line of face products.

I didn’t find the researchers’ results surprising. That is in large part because I have seen the studies before. Also, although my own personal experience was completely positive, I have seen many others who have struggled post-op. Here are some of the possible explanations I have heard of and believe are viable for increased risks of suicide attempts in bariatric surgery patients. An increased ability to commit or attempt suicide, similar to what can happen when depressed patients begin taking anti-depressants. A theory I have heard is that the risk of suicide increases when patients first begin taking anti-depressants, possibly because they now have the energy to think about taking action toward suicide. Maybe weight loss surgery patients gain the energy to think about suicide as they lose weight. Replacement addictions leading to drug overdose. Replacement addictions are common in weight loss surgery patients. They replace our former food addictions and can come in all kinds of forms, whether it is an addiction to alcohol, exercise, or drugs. Loss of use of food as an “outlet” for external stressors. We all handle stress in our own ways. Many of us used food to reduce stress before surgery. After surgery, that outlet is gone. If we do not develop a new healthier outlet, our new outlet may be drugs or alcohol, or we may not have an outlet. The outcome may be a suicide attempt. Realization that a high BMI was not the cause of the patient’s problems and mood. Some patients believe their problems will go away when they lose weight and their obesity-related health concerns diminish. Unfortunately, problems at work, relationship struggles, and self-worth issues do not automatically go away after weight loss surgery, and they may become more devastating because the patient realizes they are not a result of having a high BMI. Increased social pressures. These can begin as soon as the patient begins considering bariatric surgery and feels the need to defend her decision and explain that it is not the “easy out.” The defense can continue for life as friends and family continually make comments, whether positive or negative, about the patient’s weight, eating habits, and other personal matters. Changes in hormone levels. The JAMA researchers noted changes in neurohormones such as neuropeptide YY, which could be linked to depressive symptoms. Realization that it’s a lifelong change. Life is a really, really long time. Some patients may not realize quite how long until they are post-op and feeling the daily grind of their surgery. This may be especially true in malabsorptive or irreversible surgeries like the gastric sleeve. A strong support system is absolutely critical to prevent these tragedies! It needs to begin in the earliest pre-op stages, and continue possibly for life. It needs to include the medical side as well as the social side. Before approving patients for surgery, bariatric centers need to provide more than a cursory psychological evaluation. They need to really try to figure out whether their potential weight loss surgery patients have risk factors for depression and suicide attempts. I have met so many weight loss surgery patients who are on anti-depressants, yet depression is a contraindication for weight loss surgery! The bariatric center team needs to put the best interest of the potential patient first and try to determine whether the need to use anti-depressants is due to obesity-related factors and will go away post-op, or whether the patient has signs of depression unrelated to obesity. From approval through surgery, the patient should continue to meet with a qualified mental health professional to prepare themselves for life after surgery – going beyond behavior changes and reaching into likely changes in self-perception and personal and even professional relationships. After surgery, mental health support needs to continue. Patients need to have access to a professional should they need one. They should be educated on signs of depression and suicidal tendencies. They also need to be taught to expect certain new stressors, and they need to learn coping strategies to replace food. They should also go to support group sessions, both to receive education and to be able to share stories with and learn from other patients. These are all things that “should” happen. Unfortunately, they rarely do. It is not uncommon for the initial psychological evaluation to be the only contact they have with a mental health professional, and even then, the evaluation may be more of a formality than a true investigation into the patient’s mental health and likelihood of being a good candidate for surgery. Post-op follow-up is often little to non-existent. Not only might patients not be given the one-on-one attention they may need, but they may not even know which symptoms to look for should they develop depression. They may feel lost, which can be exacerbated if other post-op follow-up such as nutritional support is also lacking. In addition, follow-up support in in-person support groups may not be what it should. If meetings even are offered by a certain bariatric center, they may be at inconvenient times, or too far away, or too infrequent, to be of use. Or, patients simply may not attend. This is also where online support groups like BariatricPal can come in. I believe they serve many purposes. Let patients know they are not alone. Whatever feelings, situations, and relationship struggles they are facing, countless other weight loss surgery patients have gone through the same things. They can be anonymous. People do not always want to talk about their deepest fears and feelings face to face. An online setting can provide a forum for them to express themselves without fear of consequences. They are available 24/7. Possibly suicidal patients need help RIGHT NOW, not tomorrow, and not at the next available appointment. They are free. There’s no need to worry about whether insurance covers it, or how many minutes they have to work through their problems. They are positive. At least, BariatricPal is. I work very hard to enforce our zero-tolerance policy for rudeness.

Thank you all so much for your responses I agree I need to actively try and get my highs from a new productive habit. I'll have a good think about it. It's so weird how similar the over eating and over spend cycling is.... the delicious anticipation and planning or the pure joy of a suprise temptation... the shutting out of the thoughts that tell you you will regret this.. the raised heart rate and excitement of the purchase or eating... the warm glow that follows and the brief high.... then the guilt sets in.....after a few cycles of that you face major weight gain or debt issues which add to the stress and of course you need to feel good again.... I guess I should be grateful I hate cigarettes and alcohol!

@@Alicia Richards You will be just fine. I had surgery at 8 am and the next morning at 8 am they weighed me. When I saw that I'd gained 9 lbs. I was furious. I had just spent 2 weeks losing 15 lbs. on a liquid diet and now had to lose this same 9 lbs. all over again ... what?! I heard, "Oh it's just the fluids we've been filling you with post surgery. You'll lose it." Well of course I will as I have no choice, but I still had to lose it! I find it funny (not laughing funny) they neglect to tell you this when going through all those months pre-surgery. Anyways at almost 6 months post-op and 81 lbs. down, I can laugh at it now. The surgery will do its job so long as you follow your plan. Here's some very sound advice to take to heart: Follow Your Plan Too many people treat bariatric surgery as if it is simply a diet and turn their head to the intensity of the operation. A smart friend quipped that if we woke up with a giant bolt going through our leg we would get it, but since there are Band-Aids on our belly, we think it’s nothing. Your internal surgical wounds must heal – this is no time to go to the mall, out to dinner, visiting friends and on vacation. Sew what? In terms of food, you must stick to your surgeons program for post op food stages. You need time to allow the tiny pouch cut and sewn from the fabric of your giant floppy stomach to heal itself closed. We have all glued something only to have the seams pop open. The liquid and soft food stages are to avoid stressing pouch seams and give your stomach a break from the process of digestion. Is ice cream a puree? Sirloin steak is not a soft food. Ice cream is NOT a puree. You can’t eat popcorn, raw carrots or celery ten days after surgery. People ask if we think they could have a pork chop, we say ‘no’, they eat it anyhow, then tell us ‘they didn’t have a problem’. No alcohol for a year… non negotiable… but people push back saying their surgeon said five weeks was okay. Folks… we know better and we are trying to help you. General Tso? NOT your friend The post op dietary stages are not a suggestion, they are a requirement for you own safety. You cannot eat Chinese food the week after surgery because you ‘chew it well’. A ‘craving’ for Orange chicken landed one support group member in the hospital! It’s a very bad idea to push. Being ‘released’ to ‘regular food’ does not mean what you think it does, but you already know that. How long until you can have pizza again? “Pizza is not a food for someone having obesity surgery.” (that’s a quote from Dr. N on My 600 lb Life) Every single week in our support group, these actions land new post ops in the hospital. Sip sip sip sip sip… If you had a back injury, you would not tile your kitchen floor the same week. Yet, people think nothing of making a trip to a theme park when they should be at home resting and taking in fluids. People ask us ‘Do you think I would be able to go on a cruise two weeks after my sleeve?’ (Nooooo!) As high as 30% of post ops are dehydrated enough to land back in the hospital with a Fluid IV. Not drinking enough Water after surgery can cause heart damage. Dehydration is the most common bariatric complication, yet it’s largely avoidable. Stay home and heal… drink hot water, cold water, broth, Diet Snapple, herbal tea, eat sf ice pops and Jello. (We have a free bariatric water app called HY, click for GetHyApp.com) What’s eating you? If eating is a compulsion that you cannot control, ask your surgeon to suggest someone for you to talk to. A therapist can help you come to conclusions about your life – you talk, they listen and even after one chat you’ll often have a clearer truth of why you use eating as comfort. Knowing what drives you can help you deal with your eating issues to better work with your surgery. Vitamins are critical It is impossible for you to have your stomach surgically removed or reconfigured and take in the nutrients needed to run your body. While your surgeons group has mentioned Flintstones, that is so you will possibly take something instead of being one of the 67% of post ops who take nothing. They are not optimal and won’t prevent long term problems like broken bones from simple falls and losing teeth, but may keep you from dying in the short term. The idea behind supplements is to prevent issues from grabbing you in twenty years when it’s too late to change the path. Take them! Protein from food? What a novel idea! Yes, yes, yes, we’d all like to get our protein from food and that’s what you want to hear. However, if you are unable to take in 70 grams of protein per day, you can either weaken and lose your hair or you can figure out another way until you are able to learn and eat the right foods. Protein drinks make up the difference between what you can eat and what you need. They are not simply a tasty beverage for your enjoyment for you to be all picky and ridiculous over. They are the antidote for your disease of morbid obesity. Morbid means death and obesity surgery only slows and reverses the disease IF you follow your plan.

@@Leesa926 - I'm all in favor of anyone getting off of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol etc. I'm also in favor of harm avoidance. Tobacco in the forms of smoking or chewing are the most dangerous. Hands down. Snuss, lowers risk. Vaping, no known problems. I hate to tell you this, but it all depends on your surgeon and provider. I didn't hide my vaping in Mexico. They didn't object. And it didn't derail my progress, nor healing. Now the Plural of antidotes is NOT evidence. What worked for me does NOT EVER MEAN it is acceptable to everyone nor every surgery center. I am only sharing my own experience. Please understand that. PLEASE.

Agreed, but I would caution using any products that contain alcohol anywhere near my face or on products that go near your face. Alcohol is *really* bad for the skin. When I wash my brushes I am almost fanatical about rinsing them off since some brush cleaners can contain alcohol. As for break outs, the last one I had was maybe 3 years ago when I tried argon oil.

I had one for years at the recommendation of my former esthetician and because I loved what my Sonicare has done for my teeth. I thought it was great, except my skin kept breaking out. I replaced the bush heads every 45 days (germ freak) and cleaned them daily with alcohol. They are rough on your face and I tried every single brush they made, including the sensitive skin one. My skin wasn't getting better. Clarisonic pays for a lot of product placement (most brands do), and they are very aggressive with it. It is beneficial to Sephora, and Ulta to push the Clarisonic with the brush costs, it is beneficial to them. I switched to the Foreo over a year ago. My skin improved immediately. It is soft and gentle on the face, more hygienic and no brushes to replace. A Foreo will pay for itself in the first year just off what Clarisonic brushes cost in a year. The only thing I use my Clarisonic for is exfoliation my elbows and knees, since I couldn't sell it on eBay.

I think it also depends on what you mean by "dessert". I enjoy sugar-free Jello and sugar-free pudding, and almost every night I have a cup of sugar-free cocoa (with a scoop of chocolate Protein powder in it, very yummy). I make my own low-carb whipped cream by whipping heavy cream with splenda and vanilla extract. I have even found out you can make low-carb ice cream (although I haven't tried it myself). If you are talking about sugar-free cakes or similar, I think you need to be careful. As @@Djmohr says, if you are far enough out you can probably handle it, but you may not want to. My wife enjoys a sugar-free blueberry loaf, but if you look at the nutrition information on it, it is still loaded with fat and carbs (and sugar alcohols). sugar free definitely doesn't mean low-calorie. If you are talking about sugar-free candies, that's a good question. Russell Stover makes a whole line of sugar-free candies (not low-calorie, just sugar free), like mint patties and chocolate-covered peanut brittle. I have often wondered if I might try one of those, but I haven't yet. I'll probably wait until I am in maintenance before I try those.

BellaBloom, you ask "Why am I still here?" You're the one who has the answer. You're the one who has to do the work. Pen and paper, two columns: What makes this relationship worthwhile? What makes it not worthwhile? Sit down, keep your entries very brief and specific (e.g., his breath stinks; I can't understand slurred speech; he falls over, et al.). When you run out of things to write, put the pad down and pick it up any time later as new things come to mind. In the end, see which column is longer. You begin by implying that you've been here before, but not with an alcoholic. Here's something I discovered. If you care to roll it around in your mind, you may find that it has meaning for you, too: I don't believe in the practice of human sacrifice, especially if I'm the one to be sacrificed. You say you like his company. An alcoholic is not company. The non-alcoholic in the pair finds that she either (a) drinks more than she ordinarily does or would for lack of someone to talk to and for a false sense of company, or doesn't drink in order to be caretaker/chauffeur to the drinker. Neither makes for a fun evening. I know this because, long ago, I had a quasi-relationship of the type. A man who worked in another city for my company came in every few weeks for a few days. I'd see him once during each trip, which was fine, but the time together was crummy. It took me a while to figure it out. [sorry about the yellow face. It should be lower case "b" in parentheses, but it automatically turns into the yellow blob. So does "b)."] You like his company, yet he's boring and shows no interest in you? Ask yourself how that works. At the same time he shows no interest, he professes love and desire. For him this relationship is about sex. Stay there if it's what you want, but if so, be aware that you can't complain. If convenient sex isn't what you want, leave. If you have a history of sticking with dead-end guys, therapy. Above all, SOMETIMES ALONE IS BETTER. Laurie

I have some of this (but not in the pump), but have mostly been using Palmer's Cocoa Oil and Cocoa Butter. One of my doctors to me to never get a lotion or moisturizer in a pump because they add drying ingredients (alcohol) that makes the lotion go through the pump. It is good advise.

@@FinallyFit50s - good list, plus guys near your age understand gravity wins, so relax, you look great and you are healthy. I'm not kidding that this is a number's game. It's not personal. The search means you have to almost ruthlessly cut lose people who don't match your criteria. I don't mean careless hurt people, I mean you have to stay focused on what's important to you so you are not distracted by the enabling alcoholic who worms his way into your life because you felt sorry for him (See http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/352466-they-seemed-sanedating-horror-stories/). Its a process, it can be fun if you let it. It can be rewarding if you are so blessed. But I am always humbled by the reality that you have to be open for the blessings that fall into your lap unexpectedly. Somehow the universe seems to reward our efforts in unexpected ways.

A report in a scientifically based press source lists the following as areas for follow up studies to look at: "Previously suggested reasons for the association between bariatric surgery and the subsequent risk of self-harm include: permanent changes in body image, diet-related stress and unmet expectations of weight loss, which could increase mental health problems, leading to behaviors such as binge eating, substance misuse and self-harm behaviors. Changes in metabolism of alcohol could play a role, as well as changes in neurohormonal levels, which could lead to depression, addiction and suicide."

i'm a week short of two months post op and am struggling with the same issues that you are. So much of what made my life pleasurable pre-op was related to cooking, eating and socializing with alcohol & food. I no longer want to go out to restaurants with friends because I'm full after a few forkfuls. I still cook daily as I always have because my wife should not be punished because I had WL surgery. I can't say I'm happy with my new relationship with food. It has left a huge void in my life and I hope I can` find something to replace it. What that might be, I am clueless.The good news is my health has improved significantly. My diabetes is now under good control with 1/4 of the insulin I used to take, and my blood pressure (with meds) is a very good 130/60. I don't ache all over and my stamina has improved. Like James Marusek said, "Life is full of trade-offs." I'm 65 y/o and I got this surgery to save my life. I did not want to be the fat, old blind guy with no feet. If I was younger I would try anything to avoid it. I was very active (athletic) when I was younger and was able to stay height/weight proportionate through my exercise. Everybody is different but I would get this surgery only as a last resort after you can honestly look yourself in the mirror and say you've tried everything.

After having to drink them so often after the surgery I HATED protein shakes too! I had my favorite brand and flavor and still couldn't do it. I was drinking Glucerna, but ironically the sugar alcohol made me dump...so I had to get protein through yogurts, puddings (sugar free), milk and tuna. it was tough, but it does get better. Hang in there!

I got that from my coworkers and in the beginning they all said they'd support me. One coworker even tempted me with chocolate. I asked her if I was an alcoholic would she tempt me with booze. Same concept in my book. Another coworker told me since I'm losing weight for surgery why spend all that money when "you can do it on your own" my thought was, hello dumbass, if I could do it on my own,why am I not doing it already. SMH. I have yet to tell my dad or my twin sister who by the way if half my size or smaller. Some days I can't win to lose. Some people are just dumb. Keep your head up.

Good to hear that you're heading in the right direction, relationship wise. Many, many years ago I fell hard for a guy who could of been twins with your Mr. Alcoholic loser. I moved on, and while it was hard, I eventually met my husband and have never had to think twice about his choices, actions or reliability. I can't say that about my ex ! I guarantee you my ex is probably dead, spent time in jail or lives a rocky, difficult life. I dont wish the man bad karma at all, but strong feelings cant hold an unstable, rocky , unhappy "relationship" together. Im glad you got out too, before it was too late. Good luck to you !!

I am now two months post-op and it has been quite a learning experience dealing with my binge eating disorder. I have found a few things to be true: Drinking alcohol is not good for my eating. It lowers my inhibitions and I'm more likely to go get food I don't need. I still eat foods I don't need but I can't eat very much of them so it's an improvement. Still, it slows my weight loss and so I try very hard to keep those things to a minimum. I will always have an eating disorder and the surgery did not "cure" my desire for food. I am doing well (48 pounds down so far) but every day is a challenge to eat on plan (healthy, Protein, fiber). I'm so happy I did this surgery. It is nice to have a full feeling after just 5-6 ounces of food. I love food but I'm learning to be happy with just a taste or two and then move on to some other thing that brings me joy. Don't beat yourself up. You will have many opportunities to do well as you go along.

Here's the link to the article below. Just curious what you guys think. I think that there are lots of reasons why someone would want to harm themselves and there isn't specific data as to why...just that there's a possible correlation. My take on this is that food and overeating for many of us is a symptom. It's our drug of choice rather than alcohol or heroin. But just like someone in treatment goes through psychological help, so should some folks who have food issues as well. Obviously not everyone...but enough of us. I was banded in January of 2013 and a year and 100 lbs. later, found myself so very unhappy that I went into therapy. Now, I had other issues, but it started with the weight and still involves how my weight is and will always be, a huge part of my life. I feel like I have to be vigilant like anyone else dealing with an addiction. http://www.medpagetoday.com/PrimaryCare/Obesity/54035

You sound like you get your worth in life by helping others. You are probably the go to girl for everybody. Its good in life to enjoy being needed and lending a helping hand, but once you have children that addiction of being there for people has to go. If it wrre me I would start breaking up with him slowly. Weining myself away little by little. Start to consider other options and dont feel obligated to stay because of his professions of love for you. Sometimes people who have battled with weight tend to have the do unto others attitude about everything because we have been treated so badly in life. That does not apply in all situations. GOD gave you a heart and a Brain. Drug/Alcohol use is dangerous around kids because it impairs the ability of the user to make rational decisions and after only 5 months you dont know him well enough to know what he would do if he looses it one day.

I've posted something similar to what I'm about to write elsewhere on here, but I'll keep posting it when I see one of these posts come up: I loved smoking. I started when I was 15 and smoked through the next couple of decades without quitting for any real length of time. I enjoyed it, and I was pretty pissed at the idea of quitting for this surgery. I only smoked around 6-8 cigs a day, and technically was a light smoker... but after so many years, even light smokers experience issues with tiny capillaries dying off, cold fingers and toes and weird nerve issues, wheezing and coughing and are more prone to colds and flu and all the other horrible things that come with smoking ~any~ cigarettes. So I quit. Here is what I realized: I'm having this surgery to make my life better, to be healthy, to live longer and really enjoy the time I have left on this planet. Smoking is in direct opposition to all of those goals. Smoking - and I count vaping in there too since the early results on vaping are not looking good for long term health - is one of the few things that is guaranteed to do major harm to your body and kill you in the end if you use the product as intended. Think about that for a minute. There is no reason to smoke. It is bad for you, it hurts your lungs, your circulation and hampers healing. Smoking before or after having major surgery is beyond stupid (I'm saying this as part of my own self talk, not calling you specifically stupid). The ONLY reason any one smokes is because it is addictive. If you smoke or vape - you are an addict, same as an alcoholic or a drug user. Quitting is the only smart, rational option ESPECIALLY before having a serious, life altering surgery like a sleeve or bypass. I miss it almost every single day, and I just celebrated (yesterday!) my one year quit anniversary. I tell myself that I can always smoke again someday, just not right now... and hope that I can keep telling myself "maybe tomorrow" for the rest of my life. But I am damned proud I took my life back and no longer depend on those evil things, even if I still miss them. It's part of being an addict. I know what I am, and admit I'm probably always going to have that struggle, but I'll be damned if they'll ever control my life that way again. You are doing this to improve your life, so take that step further and really commit to giving your body the best possible chance, and quit smoking as well. You deserve to be the best you that you can be, and smoking should not be a part of that.