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What they told us in our Support Group is that two things can cause stretching: Carbonated drinks and Alcohol. We are not talking once in a blue moon but on a continuous basis. Otherwise not much else will stretch your stomach. I found i can eat a bit more that when I started after surgery but that is due to the stomach healing. I am now four months post-op so I am sure it has healed as much as it is going to.

This was my day to day life for years! I loved to meet the girls out for some margaritas and wine, few beers by the pool and fire pit! Barbecue grilling and restaurant dining!! For the past six months I've been struggling with the smoking part and well the drinking and eating! I am smoke and alcohol free for now 30 days alcohol hasn't been a problem but the smoking is an extreme addiction! I think I want a cigarette more than I want food being in my two week liquid only diet! The main question for everybody is what do with myself now that drinking smoking and food are no longer a part of my life! During work is fine but my weekends are killers, i've been hiding in my bedroom all weekend too afraid to leave the house to fall back into bad habits! I am single and 40 and I live in Wisconsin with temperatures at freezing! I need to find a new hobby or something to do with myself anybody have any suggestions!!! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

OMG I had to sign a piece of paper today at my pre-op procedures stating that I agree to never have any alcohol for the rest of my life. The weird part is at the support group meeting this week. The Coordinator talked about not having to give up alcohol for ever, just know that it is empty calories Also to make better alcohol choices like Wine vs a margarita. Did anyone else have to sign a paper like that.

Drinking alcohol has been strongly discouraged in my nutrition counseling sessions but I haven't been asked to sign anything. Since I can take it or leave it, I would not resent being asked to commit to such llifestyle. What I have been asked to sign is that I will never smoke again. Since I never did, that is cool also. Giving up caffiene is the hard one for me. But I am doing much better than I was and plan to be down to zero come surgery time. All of these restrictions are for our safety and ultimate good. Every doctor has their own treatment expectations. If this is an issue, maybe you need to find a surgeon you can work with in agreement on the alcohol restrictions. All the best to you. You may find that you hate the taste of it after surgery. Melinda

“ The wound is where the light enters you.” - Rumi When I work with pre and post-op bariatric surgery patients, I consistently go over this idea of being "full from within." Many people question, "what does that mean for me? What does that look like?" My response is that for one to be truly full, we must first clear out the old toxicity, wounds, and hurtful schemas we've picked up throughout the years. How does one get over a hurt? There is not "getting over." You go through it. You have to feel it to heal it. If you have underwent gastric sleeve, bypass, or balloon surgery and still feel like there is a missing piece- it is likely that there are some deeper psychological toxicities that need to be cleared. The first step to doing so is sitting still, sitting with the feelings, and it is in stillness that our heart finally starts to answer the questions our mind has failed to thus far. Yet so many have been taught not to feel. That there must be an easier way- a shortcut. 1 in every 8 Americans is on some form of psychotropic medication. 1 In his book, Anatomy of an Epidemic, science journalist Robert Whitaker states that since 1987, the percentage of the population receiving federal disability payment for mental illness has tripled; among children under the age of 18, the percentage has grown by a factor of 35.1 While Whitaker recognized that in the short-term, these medications help people to feel better, he started to realize that over time- drugs make many patients sicker than they would have been if they had never been medicated. 1 He does not make the argument that all people should stop their meds. He believes in the utility of them, just more sparingly than they are currently utilized. However, throughout my years in the practice of therapy- I have noticed a trend of moving people away from feeling. Crying is actually a symptom in the DSM-V. We have pathologized a human feeling! When psychiatrists and therapists witness a patient tearful too many times in session, their next conclusion is that something must be wrong and they must be medicated. This frustrates me so much as a clinician and as a person who has done her share of work in her own personal therapy. When we are broken, we are broken open. Being broken is a starting point, not a symptom that something has gone awry. It is at the point of our deepest pain and grief that we have the greatest opportunity for growth. I find myself telling patients over and over- “you can’t “get over” it, you must “go through” it.” Yet, so many of us have been indoctrinated to think that if we spend more than a day being sad, we must have depression, or if we feel nervous a little bit longer than we’d like to- we must have an anxiety disorder. We definitely “are Bipolar” if we have a mood swing. We have been taught to not feel the yin, only the yang of our emotions. It’s societally acceptable to talk about how happy your weekend was, or how much fun you had on vacation- but watch the uncomfortable shifting in chairs that takes place when you open up about how you just haven’t felt like yourself lately. In our world of quick fixes, where we can have a conference across the world, over a computer, communicate a message in two seconds via text, or post a picture that all of our family can see instantly- we also want instant relief for our suffering. Yet, suffering is part of the human condition. It is through experiencing our deepest sorrows, we are able to appreciate our greatest joys. But we must first be willing to sit in the muck. "Out of the mud, grows the lotus." -Thich Nhat Hanh Part and parcel of any addiction (food, drugs, alcohol, etc.) is that the addict is particularly uncomfortable with being uncomfortable. However, the cure is right there for the taking. “So what does this look like in real life?” you ask. “How do I open the wound, bring in the light, and clear out the infection that started all of this in the first place?” You start with presence. You start with a still and open heart. You start with a spiritual vulnerability that allows you to be at peace with not knowing what will happen next. You sit broken open and wait for the light to enter over time. The most important piece in all of this is being able to create a consistent forum where you hold the space. This could be a therapist’s office, it could be a weekly walk with a friend, a journal practice, or it could be as simple as a prayer every night. You set the priority to hold the space and to sit in the muck. Maybe it starts with emotions that have no words? Maybe it starts with visceral, physical feelings, that you have to simply sit with for a while? Maybe you are lucky enough to immediately put in words where your wound all started and its just floating around in your thoughts, waiting to be articulated? Perhaps it starts with a behavior you tend to do all of the time that you know comes from a place of pain? Case Study: I had a client who continuously posted on social media sites. She had a constant need to feel recognized and admired. She knew there was something behind it and wanted to get to the bottom of where this was coming from. Session over session, we sat with that need. We talked about what she wanted to get from each of those posts and why she was still “on E,” left with an empty psychological tank. The short story of Narcissus goes that he disdained people who loved him. After Nemesis noticed this he lured him to a pool that cast his own reflection. Narcissus fell in love with this pool, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, he lost his will to live. He stared at this reflection until he died. 59 Growing up, this client never quite got the love and admiration we all need from our parents. When we love something so much and don’t get that back- it is that unrequited love that leaves a narcissistic wound. It doesn’t necessarily always start with parents. It can be a formative romantic relationship, but it usually starts with parents. When we are flying from couch to couch saying “look at me mommy I’m superman!” and our mom says “get off that couch now!” instead of “look at how strong and powerful you are,” we begin forming the wound. Unfortunately, without recognizing this- many people will go throughout their life trying to heal it through other people or other things instead of within themselves. (recall the wizard of oz’s moral of the story). It was up to this client to stop the instinctual need to post and each time she had this inclination to look within for what she needed. Eventually, she developed a muscle for self validation, and the posting behavior stopped. The lesson in this case study is to hopefully help guide you to your wound. If we have a food addiction and feel out of control, you can bet we have a wound. Instead of distracting through bad habits, addictions, unhealthy relationships, or external wants- it is time to finally create a place of presence to start the healing process. Mind Meal: Sit in silence for at least 15 minutes. Visualize in your mind’s eye your heart with a bridge of white light to your head. What does it say? Where is the pain? Where is the wound? How might you start filling yourself up for good? Want to learn more about how to be truly full from within. Check out Dr. Colleen's latest book aimed at helping one focus on why they eat vs. what they eat, and stop the "diet yo-yo" for good. You can also sign up for her free course : Full From Within, here. 1 Retrieved: June 2, 2017 https://www.madinamerica.com/author/rwhitaker/

Dionna, I frequent buffets a lot and I don't have a problem anymore. I have learned how much I am able to eat and I stick with that guideline. I hope you will be able to learn how to eat more easily. I don't even have to grab small plates anymore because I can only eat the amount that I am able to eat. It may help you to rethink why you eat. I eat to live and not live to eat............ Please don't think that I am a sassy pants but I get it now. I know what it takes to be of a normal healthy weight. I have a certain food type that is my enemy and like an alcoholic I will never eat it again and I am okay with that also it isn't healthy food. It is unfortunate that we see ourselves having to pay the full price on food but think of the people who eat like us and never had a weight problem. They have always paid the price without question so why should we be any different. I know this is very touchy but why should we be any different than others? Josephine

although a stricture would cause vomiting - not diarrhea. At least that would be the case with RNY (I had two of them early out). I agree with what you said about fluids, though - and artificial sweeteners. Those give a lot of people G/I problems - esp sugar alcohols (those whose names end it "-itol" - like xylitol.

I was so scared about starting back smoking again that I avoided alcohol. coffee and excercize helped me quit also. I ended up losing a significant amount of weight about 20 lbs. Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Jodie- you can start by going to AA it is free and it will help you evaluate whether your alcohol use is negatively impacting your life. It's free and confidential. Good luck to you.

SJ - the most important part of the band is the followup. Seriously. If not for my monthly trips to Dr. Ren in my first year I would not have lost the weight I did!! You know, it takes a while to detox from the reality of being obese. When I would go for follow ups, I would have that "Weight Watchers Anxiety." You know what I'm talking about - wearing the lightest clothes possible, crash dieting the day before, hoping and praying you're not judged cause maybe you only lost 4 lbs in a month. You know I got lectured - and I mean LECTURED - for losing too much weight? The nurse at Dr. Ren's told me if I didn't slow down he was gonna unfill me :huh2: That was a first. I pranced. I liked not being lectured for eating too much. It's just *such* a different world. It's hard to describe. Instead, even if I lost a little, I'd be sitting there nervous, feeling like I'm failing everyone, failing myself...and when they weighed me and talked to me, they just wanted to know if I was hungry. Sometimes I'd say yeah, but I don't know if its PMS or not. They'd tighten me and fix it. Can you eat more than a cup of food without Water in 20 minutes? Yes. OK you're getting tightened. They just cared about me, they cared about the band working properly. My favorite thing about Dr. Ren is that she thinks of obesity as a disease, like alcoholism with as much genetic roots as social and behavioral roots. Not many doctors see it that way. And god! Wait til you get The Magic Fill. My first four months on the band I was still fighting hunger, able to eat a whole burger and fries meal from Wendy's, despite monthly fills. I was totally resigned to this taking forever. Other people were dropping like crazy, but my fat stubbornly clung to me like barnacles on a sunken ship. I was actually depressed at this point, thinking I made this huge change and dammit, it didn't WORK. As usual. Then in April I got this fill. I was on liquids for two days...typical deal. Feeling like it was useless, the third day I popped a small piece of a Cinnabon in my mouth. I mean, small. Maybe pea sized. Well, I didn't chew so well and had my first regurgitation. I thought I was going to die. It's actually funny now. There I was, alone in the house, panicking and pacing around frantically crying because something hurt in my chest - the pastry was stuck, oh THIS is what they've been talking about, that golf ball feeling...THIS SUCKS!...I'm gonna DIE I'm gonna DIEEEE...and I jumped, raised my arms, did everything I could not to barf it up...and I did anyway. it was incredibly unpleasant, mostly because I didn't know HOW to regurgitate properly if something was stuck and it turned into full scale vomiting, with the lower stomach. Painful, forceful. But then it was over, and I settled down. I slunk to the kitchen and made some hot tea and next thing I knew, it was seven hours later and I realized with a start I had not eaten all day. {{{NEWS FLASH: KATE FORGOT ABOUT FOOD FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER}}} The hunger WAS completely gone. Gone. Not nausea, but very close to it, where you're just turned off by ANYthing. Holy crap! I kept thinking, "Is this what skinny people feel like ALL THE TIME!?!?!?" No wonder they thought I had weak willpower. It was so SIMPLE to forget about food - or if I was forced to eat, choose something like broth or a small 1/2 cup of tuna fish. Then I cried again, laughing and dancing with the lightest joy because this was the Magic Fill my mentor had told me about that I never believed...and couldn't comprehend. Four months after surgery, I was finally in the zone. Accidentally. That's when the weight loss really began...I lost 80 lbs over the next 6 months. Just remember...it is a process. I know you're sick of the weight. I know you want it to be over already...but it's coming. There's nothing like feeling in control for the first time in your life :cool2: NOTHING. Maybe on one of your fills we'll hike up to Dr. Ren's together, if I need one too. I just got mine done so I'm good for at least a month or so.

I can relate to all of the above. Drinking a bit too often, occasionally drinking too much and eating way to much and too often. The more I would eat, the hungrier I would get. Obviously and especially carbs which I was totally addicted to. Am and always will be a carb addict, but luckily at this point I cannot consume them in an adequate quantity to fuel that addiction. I also recently saw "End of the Tour", a movie about the great author David Foster Wallace. It was fabulous. It briefly touched on his alcoholism and potential drug addiction (tho in the movie his character claims that he was not on drugs). It also very briefly touched on what he called a tv addiction. He did not have a tv in his house, he said that he had to give that up. Then when they were on a road trip for a book signing, he overslept one morning because he had stayed up late watching tv the night before. When they went over to a friend's house, all the friends were falling asleep on the sofa but he was wide awake and his eyes glued to or fixated on the tv. I find myself also procrastinating on things I need to be doing so that I can watch tv or just finish this one episode that turns into another and another. Then its like 4 or 5pm on a Sunday afternoon and I still have to do my grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry etc which I should have been working on all weekend. This bad habit got really bad when I was broke and unemployed on and off during 2008-2009. I could stay up till 2am (or 3, 4 or 5) watching endless movies, and since I didn't have to go to work the next day. But now I do. But I still like to lose myself and veg out in front of the tube. Don't know if I'd ever have the balls to give it up like David Foster Wallace. But sometimes I wonder if I did, how many other books I would read or walks would I take? As far as socializing, eating out, vacations etc...I can now enjoy all these things and the company without being a member of the clean plate club. And after eating less than half my meal everywhere now what do I notice? That the thin people I'm eating with don't even notice because they only ate about half of their food too. And they did not plow through a whole basket of bread like I used to. No wonder they are skinny. I used to eat like it was a contest that I had to win. But now, for the time being, and hopefully forever, I have broken free from the grip my addiction once held. While I know that I am still an addict, I'm not in an "active" addiction right now. And I am so grateful to my sleeve for giving me that freedom and giving me my life back:-)

Can u ever have a drink again???

oh honey, im so sorry you are having such a hard time. your story sounds like mine not too long ago. first, take a deep breath, and think to yourself: all things that are meant to be will find a way. now, when i emotionally ate, (i say ate because i cant eat near the volume of food i used to, but i still emotional eat) i would eat a large pizza from pizza hut in one night. then i would have the 2 liter pepsi i ordered with it (not diet mind you) and then usually i would have at least 1 or 2 candy bars before retiring to bed. emotional eating is an addiction, and just like ANY addiction, you cant just walk away from it, and again like any addiction, it gets worse when you are stressed, sad, mad, whatever. i couldnt do this alone. an eating addiction is a little more tricky than other addictions. i wont say harder because drug,alcohol, etc. are incredibly hard to beat as well. the difference is though is that an eating addiction is still IN YOUR FACE all the time. you cant just walk away from it. you HAVE to eat. it was my drug of choice as it is yours and pretty much everyone else on this site. know that there are others out there that are going through the same exact, IDENTICAL struggle you are going through, and if not now, they were at some point. i will be sending good wishes your way. keep us all posted on what progresses with your surgery!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone's body tends to have a different tolerance level for alcohol. What is important to remember is when we drink, we do responsibly and with an understanding of our bodies limitations. If we know we plan on drinking in excess, then as responsible adults we should have a plan in place prior to doing so for safe transportation home. Sent from my iPad using VST

If "it never happens", then why the guilt feelings? I agree that you should not "beat yourself up" about having wine, but if you are banded you should be compliant with your surgeon's instructions unless you are willing to manage the possible negative consequences for non-compliance. We were told that post surgery, your tolerance for all forms of alcohol changes dramatically, and that one drink can put your blood alcohol levels above the legal limits. My doctor warned us that he will not intervene in any DUI cases where the patient had a drink, drove impaired, and then was arrested.

My surgery was jan 28 and I'm scared to drink alcohol, I'm waiting until At least 6 months. Enjoy your drink if you decide to have one!

Hey Bridgette. I am 11 days away from surgery, so I am already on my preop diet, but I did five weeks on my own first so that I could get my body a bit healthier. I ordered samples from Vitalady so I have my choice of Protein shakes during liquid stage. I am anal, so I already cooked and froze most of my lunch/dinner for mushy stage. For me, its easier to not cheat if my food is already ready for me. I joined YouTube. There is an incredible wls community on there and I have been participating and watching their videos - great inspiration and support. I have 1/2 cup and 1 cup gladware containers to make portion control easier. My Water is up to about 60 ounces a day. I am walking a bit more than before, but I haven't gone nuts with that yet. I took before pics before I started my diet, and will do another set right before surgery. Most importantly (for me at least) is I have been working hard at reworking my thinking. I havent had soda or alcohol (or any calorie beverage for that matter) in 6 weeks. I mostly gave up coffee too - less things for me to have to feel like I "gave up" on my surgery date.

@@Proud2BMe It makes me sad to read this! I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time. Thankfully you admitted this before it got any worse. Alcohol detox is dangerous. Please reconsider getting professional help - at least to detox. Whatever you do - please take care of yourself!!! You're in my prayers!!

@@Proud2BMe - I wanted to say thanks for sharing your story. I am going to be sleeved on Wednesday. I only drink occasionally and don't have a drinking problem. However, addiction does run in my family. I haven't had anything to drink in two weeks now because of the preop diet. I know the recommendation to never drink again, but since I just have wine occasionally I figured it will be ok to have a little here and there in the future. Your story makes me seriously reconsider that thought. My brother in law had RNY about two years ago and seems to have a problem with alcohol now too. He also went through a divorce and I thought that might be more his reason. I do wonder though. My brother is an alcoholic and has been doing it for awhile. He's to the point where it seems nearly impossible to stop, even after a DWI and $10,000 down the drain. I urge you to follow your own instinct and seek some professional help. Stop it in its tracks. Don't let the disease leave you down and out, like it does for so many. A friend of mine did AA and said it really turned his whole life around. You faced WLS and lost all that weight. You took such a huge step at making a better life for yourself. Don't let this stop you. Get some help. You can tackle this too. Thanks again for sharing.

If you are an American, HIPAA law prevents your employer or future employer from being able to access your medical record. No medical practice would go giving out that information unless they want to get sued. It is against the law. Sent from my Nexus 10 using the BariatricPal App Ummm, Horse S**t. Sorry, HIPPA was wiped out in 2009 when the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009 was passed. One of the provisions was an automation of doctor and hospital records via federal grants to state hospital associations. The public reason was "well it will make it easier for people's medical records to be shared with other medical providers in case of emergency." And that is a dang lie. If you want more information than you ever want on this, I am very sure I can prove that assertion. For the purposes of this discussion, if you have serious drug/alcohol or psychiatric problems and you think the government, law enforcement or big pharma doesn't know it, you are wrong if you have third party coverage. What this means is even though you think your attempts to get help won't or can't be used to keep you from purchasing a firearm in the future, hurt your job prospects, create difficulty getting insurance and professional licening et. al. YOU ARE FLAT OUT WRONG. That patient privacy/HIPPA form that you sign is not worth the paper it is printed on. I self pay and have to work very hard to keep my information out of that system. NOTE: you might ask, why do I care? I really don't give a rip about being one more data point in a government data base, but my ex-wife is a government employee (and bi-polar) and she has access to the whole dang database. She illegally tracks everything I do on the system and let's my kids know everything about my medical history, with the hope of embarrassing me. I don't want her, or anyone else to know. So I work very hard to keep it private. I switched to a non-ObamaCare insurance plan. My doctor is not on the state electronic record system. Most of my pharmaceuticals are purchased from other countries because its cheaper, and no one has a record. So the assertion that it's ok to get help with drug and alcohol problems because "the government will protect your privacy" is VERY, DANGEROUSLY wrong. Sorry. That's a fact and I will gladly defend my position to anyone who wants more info. But this isn't a political site,so I don't want to get too far afield on this, so please if you disagree or want more info please PM.

Your post was incredibly brave and admitting and accepting you have a problem is the hardest thing to do. I deal with a food addiction but I also have a mother that is an alcoholic. She never wanted to do anything about her problem and to live through the devastation of it personally was one of the hardest things. I will say it is one heck of a beast so I wouldn't suggest going it alone. You need someone that has been there done that. That's kinda what this place is for us. I would suggest going to some type of group meeting having a sponsor is the best thing you can do.

Good luck. Plan on at least a month with no alcohol following a taper. You want to give your body time to heal. Pay attention to your heart rate and blood pressure during this. If you really start to spike, talk to your doctor about benzos. There are parts of your brain which were severely suppressed with all the alcohol in your system and the benzos will help. Nice of your room mate to help. Make sure your roommate is familiar with DT symptoms. A small part of the population (esp. those with seizer disorders) is susceptible and it can be life threatening.

@@Jkapp923 My point is as valid as yours. I do not agree with you about the age thing. And that's okay. Regarding the 21 thing, I'm a different person than you with different experiences. I didn't celebrate my 21st birthday by drinking. Just not my thing and I don't feel that I missed out on anything. About the alcoholism thing...I can't speak for everyone. I can only speak for myself and what I've researched and/or heard from my bariatric team. I won't share that here as it really doesn't matter what I think. I encourage you, if you haven't already, to research alcohol after WLS surgery and check with your bariatric team. Then do you

Congrats on your weight loss!!! Working out isn't my favorite thing to do- but it actually makes me feel better afterwards. Are you going to therapy for depression? Maybe the dr's need to change- up your meds. Have you gone to any bariatric support group meetings? Can you still go out with your friends and not have alcohol? Good luck!! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

This is long... but I really need to get it off my chest and see what you all think. My situation is this: I have a husband with a brain condition, an 8 year old son, and a 25 year old daughter (plus 5 grandsons all under the age of 10). I live in a rural area about an hour from the hospital where my surgery is supposed to happen on Wednesday. I have to check in at the hospital at 6:00 am that day... but my son needs to get on the school bus at 8:15 am that day. We have just one vehicle, and my husband doesn't drive much... but he is going to come with me Wednesday and stick around until I go to the OR... at which point he will come home and get updates by phone until after our son gets off the school bus at 3:00 pm, when he will bring him along and come back to visit me (because by then I should be in a room... kids under 12 are not allowed in pre-op or recovery, so he can't come to the hospital with us). The plan was for my adult daughter to spend the night at our house on Tuesday night and get her brother on the bus Wednesday morning before she goes to work... but she just told me she will be out of town until Wednesday morning sometime and can't do it as planned. I can't take a chance on her not making it in time on Wednesday morning since she has no idea when she will be back in town... my husband and daughter are the only family members who know I'm having surgery, because the only other family member nearby is my mom who will freak out (and as a result stress me out) if I tell her (all I've not told other family members either because they might tell her)... she can't help me anyway... she lives an hour away in the opposite direction of the hospital I'll be at and one of my grandsons lives with her, so she has to be home herself to get him to school that day. Most of the friends I have who would be willing to help me all live too far away to actually help me (as in they pretty much all live in different states), except 2... one has a new baby and another child my son's age, but she lives over an hour away... and the other lives nearby... BUT she hasn't been very supportive of my surgery AND she will want me to send my son to her house for the night instead of coming here for the night... (but my husband won't allow him to stay the night over there because my friend is a victim of domestic violence and he is afraid her alcoholic husband could randomly show up anytime and be violent). So if I even ask, I'm afraid it will put me in an even more stressful position, being stuck in the middle between them. I'm on the verge of saying screw it and cancelling my surgery... I've got no way to make this work that I can see (other than getting a friend to drive me to the hospital and not having any pre-surgery moral support and that's IF my husband would agree to not being there with me and putting our son on the bus himself)... I'm nervous about the surgery anyway... and while I hate to have spent 2 weeks putting out the money and frustration on this pre-op diet, I did lose 10 pounds on it so maybe this is a sign that I just shouldn't do it and can try (again) to lose weight on my own without surgery. I'm so confused and stressed out!! Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App