Search the Community

Recently at the gym I spoke with a person that had gastric sleeve surgery about 3 yrs prior. She lost a tremendous amount of weight - 275 lbs. and over time gained back 200 lbs. My question is, how does that happen if your stomach only holds 1/2 c of food. I had the roux en y procedure and if I eat one tsp more than I should then I am miserable.

Hi feeling nervous had band 3 years ago from 116kgs down to 55 kgs in August last year since then I have given up smokes yeah! But am now 73kgs can't stop eating lapband doesn't seem to helping appetite has anyone gone or is going through the same situation Cheers and help vicki

Mimi, that unconscious food fest is so well known as to have a name: it's the Last Supper Syndrome. We all go through it. Sometimes twice--once when we make up our minds to have surgery and then again, much later, when we actually get the surgery date. It's very hard to conquer, I know--I gained 7 lbs in the last two months before surgery. But it really is important not to let it get out of control, since you want to be as healthy as possible for the procedure and healing. Take comfort in knowing that our food choices are the same after banding as before, and the behaviors that will change are those that MUST change if we want to leave our obesity behind us. So eat what you want, but try to practice not gorging. That will set you on the right path and possibly abort your weight gain in the process. Good luck with this!!

So glad things are going well for you Debbie and Joe. I'm a bit miserable these days I'm sorry to say. I'm happy with my fellow but work is very stressful. All I know is that I've crept up 15 lbs. over the last few months even with two fills and just now, I put on a pair of jeans that after a wash and tumble in the dryer, are uncomfortably tight. I'm so disappointed in myself. I said I'd never let this happen and now I'm close to having to slip into a bigger size because of the weight gain. I need to get another fill, and go back to basics...even go back to tracking my food intake again. I know what to eat and what not to, I just am not following the plan that helped me to lose the weight. I'm posting here rather than on the main site....I need my support and no comments from people who don't know my story and struggle. The one thing I'm not going to do is disappear. I think alot of people do when they fall off the wagon and folks need to know how hard...really hard maintenance is even with surgery.

i think it's possible that constipation can cause a little weight gain. but i was wondering if being over-weight can cause constipation in adults. please sure ur thots with me. Blessings, sasha

Do I post? Do I continue to keep to myself on this subject? what the hell.. I'll post...... I can't remember the last time I had sex with dbf, and we've only been together for a little over two years.... the person who says we have bills and kids in common.. I second that.. a lot of bills and a lot of kids.. same morale ethics, same family goals..... but no sex and the most physical contact is a simple peck on the lips at night and in the morning before work..... things started slowing down immediately in the sex department literally a few months into our relationship he started pushing my hands away and it has gone downhill since (and I was in a size 10/12 at the time) God love my mother but she once teased me that he wasn't interested because I had once again REGAINED all my weight.... geesh thanks mom.... anyway my issues go way back with sex.... I was "devirginized" by my exhusband who was also my highschool sweetheart.. we were together for 17 years.. I'd never even SEEN another mans privates until I got divorced LOL... (he cheated on me and left me via note one new years eve) I had no clue, and was devestated.. I though our lack of sex for the 3 months prior was because of his depression over a friends near fatal accident... ANYWAY I swore that I would never go that long without sex again... because had I given him more maybe he wouldn't of cheated... never really liked sex that much.. wasn't adventurous and it was always quick.. (happens a lot I think when two kids grow up together and never learn anything new) OK.. so got divorced immediately hooked up with the rebound psyco loser that immediately cheated on me and got this formerly infertile girl preggers.......... a baby later I finally booted his abusive loser ass to the curb and THEN I WAS REBORN!!!!!!!!! at 34 I was free to date and have fun... I lost 80 lbs and looking good, feeling great, and anxious grandma's to babysit on weekends the miracle baby... I discovered that indeed I did LIKE sex..... I bought books on learning to give myself an orgasm... (because I've never had one) to this day I have no idea what its really like, or if I've had fleeting moments of one and don't know it... I'm almost 40 and don't know what all the talk is about....... sad but true.... yeah I've faked it.. yeah when guys found out they wanted to be the first.... so I let them think it....... but I honestly don't know if I have or not..... OK.. so I had a year of dating around and having fun... and then I met DBF and at first we had sex every day........ and then it was every week, then it was was a couple times a month........ and now I don't know... I do know that I quit buying my BC Ring in december because it was a waste of money...... it hurts my feelings to be denied so I just quit asking or initiating... I've tried to talk to him about it and he just gets pissed off....... I kind of blew up after my band was put in, I lifted my shirt and asked him to feel for my port.. he said NO it kind of grossed him out.. I said WHAT???? He laughed and said that the thought of a port freaked him out and it was gross to him...... TEARS, followed by exclaimination....... "GREAT! NOW MY BAND GROSSES YOU OUT.. WE ARE NEVER HAVING SEX AGAIN ARE WE???" he replied... "JESUS TRACY! Not this AGAIN!" and stomped off to the living room to watch TV. I was left in the kitchen crying and the subject has not been broached again........ (btw his ex wife cheated on him and that is why they are divorced.. I'm guessing he has always had a low libido and yes he wakes up every morning with impressive wood, which I have literally tried to take advantage of and was jokingly swatted away) I have increasingly put on weight since the rejection started happening.. About October of 2005.. he also cooks and would get upset if I didn't eat what he fixed.. the women in his family are heavy.... I know he is deeply insecure about stuff, but extremely macho to the world and even to himself. The problem is that he is a great guy, we don't have kids together but our blended family includes 4 boys that love each other.. he is my sons dad in every way but biology and the same with his boys. We are all about raising kids and doing things as a family and growing old together and yes getting married......... but in my minds eye.. do I go ahead and get married knowing that I will most likely NEVER have intercourse again. I guess my self esteem. I was suprised when he supported my decision to have the band.. he said that he loved me no matter what but he knew that the weight gain had been depressing me...... he did however want to know how it would affect him, and for me to know that I shouldn't expect him to change the way he eats..... he has been pretty good about it.... as he is with most things.. except sex....... and I do miss it... I feel that at 37 I am too young to give it up, especially when there is a very avaible WORKING piece of equipment hooked to the man I love... its not fair that he doesn't want to spend the energy to use it. I do have toys, and I swear some time I'm going to take a day off work to be alone with myself! LOL

Is Anthem strict with the weight gain/ loss restrictions during the 6 month waiting period ?

No I ain't had nothing to drink I knew that’s probably what you'd think If I dropped by this time of night Remember way back when I promised you I'd drop in At one of those meetings down at the Y Well, they started talkin bout steps you take Mistakes you make The hearts you break And the price you pay I almost walked away You could hear a pin drop When this old man Stood up and said I'm gonna' say it again Like I do every week For those who don't know me (Chorus) It's the simple things in life Like the kids at home and a loving wife That you miss the most, when you lose control And everything you love starts to disappear The devil takes your hand and says no fear Have another shot, just one more beer Yah, I've been there, that's why I'm here This ole boy stood up in the aisle Said he'd been living a life of denial And he cried as he talked about wasted years I couldn't believe what I heard It was my life word for word And all of the sudden it was clear (Repeat Chorus) That’s one of my favorite songs. It’s written and performed by Kenny Chesney, and for a long time I couldn’t hear it without crying; sometimes, I still can’t. I know it’s about alcoholism, but it’s also about me and my eating disorder. So many times, I thought, “I got this. I’m in control. I’m NOT an addict. I’m not ill.” Then there was the time when I lost 71 lbs. on Weight Watchers, and I was convinced that I was “fixed.” I was cured. I wasn’t “that” person anymore, and I was never going back; ever…but, I did. The devil definitely took my hand and I thought, “Just this once.” “Just this once” led to a downhill slide and a massive weight gain. I spent years beating myself up over that. I could not believe that after all that hard work that I blew it, like that. And then, my darkest days began. I felt as though my eating was so much bigger than me. It was something separate from me, that I couldn’t control. I hated life. Every day was a struggle of when do I eat/how much do I get to eat/when will I get to eat again/ what is there to eat? Worst of all, I knew that if I ever did get it together, that it wouldn’t stay together. And I hated everyone; but no one as much as myself...I really hated me. I think that everyone has to have their “moment of truth.” Mine came for me at 3:00 in the morning, watching a show on WLS. I remember thinking, “Life doesn’t have to be this hard.” I pretty much decided right then, that I was going to do this thing. You know, I would have NEVER thought that anything positive could have came from that 71 lb. weight gain, but I was wrong; several positive life lessons came from that. I learned that just when you think you’ve got your demon under control, and you get so high and mighty and complacent that it will rear its ugly head and kick your ass. I learned what to look out for, and what foods that I can’t handle; foods that are “triggers” for overeating. I learned that I am WAY stronger than I ever imagined. Lastly, I learned that the weight loss is secondary for me. The main thing is that I’m free. I’m free from the prison known as my eating disorder. And life is good. Life is very good.

Ok, this will sound ridiculous but, I have friends tell me that I look prettier now. Mind you, my friends have seen me before and after weight gain. Even if it was a lie, they made me feel good by overlooking my weight publicly. Regardless of my insecurities, the comments make me feel good. But in retrospect and to be honest with you, since the weight gain, people in general are relentless in making you feel less than they are. In restaurants especially. One woman looked at me, (as I carried my kids food to them) as if she wanted to PB just b/c she looked at me. My husband is obese too so he was sitting there. She was probably 5ft 4inches and 120lbs. Her and her hubby were very lean but eating junk. I felt soo bad. I lost my appetite, was actually scared to eat. She kept staring at us. Sorry to hijack this.

I just wanted to, as a nurse, that there are low dose birth control methods that you can try that do not cause weight gain. My fav is the NuvaRing. Its the lowest dose of hormone possible and it only works where it needs to and doesn't effect the entire body like oral pills do. Hope this helps because as i want you to lose the weight I don't want you to get pregnant if you don't want to :thumbup:.

I was once 575 lbs as the name states, my wife too had a problem with the surgery and many others did as I was able to lose 200 lbs on my own presurgery but what they didn't know that I did was I could easily gain back all that weight plus some without a surgical intervention. I had lost 115 lbs in 2007 only to gain it back plus 50... before that I had lost 80, 85, 60, etc etc etc... Now that I have gone through the surgery she couldn't be happier, she still thinks I could have done without the surgery but I know the surgery was the cement I needed to keep the weight off. Now down 317 lbs in less then 2 years I couldn't be happier, without the surgery I wouldn't be as healthy at some point my yoyo would've snapped me back into a weight gaining binge. The surgery breaks the yoyo, I can still gain weight if I eat wrong but can not gain it nearly as fast and i've learned enough new GOOD habits during the process never to get anywhere close to where I was before. Ask a simple question.... How many 50, 60, 70 year olds weighing as much as you do you see walking around happy and healthy... I knew for me my weight was a death sentence and i'm so glad that over 300 lbs of me is gone!!!

Is anyone doing "my last time for this" or "my last time for that" this month? LOL The very last weekend before I have to start full liquids, my honey is making me a roast with all the fixins. This coming weekend I'm going to get all my boxes of clothes from the attic and start sorting them into sizes. Lucky for me, I have a friend who lost some weight and she gave me a bunch of clothes in sizes 18 and 16. Bad thing is she has short legs, so the pants may be too short lol. I am currently in size 22. I have clothes from size 14 to size 20 in boxes, so at least I won't have to shop. Most of my weight gain has been in the last 6 years, I hpe my skin snaps back! lol I'm worried about the skin, but in the long run, I'd rather have some loose skin and feel better physically and mentally than have tight skin and feel like crap.

Does anyone know if Cigna will deny you for net weight gain after the supervised visits with a dietician? I see a lot of threads on the topic of Aetna and weight gain, so I was just wondering.... Thanks.

Hi everyone! First, I want to thank you all for your input and posts, it really means a lot to hear thoughts from friends that have been down this road:) I did have my appointment yesterday and all my questions were answered. Fortunately, the hospital system where I had my surgery has an online portal where you can look up any report, blood work, etc. I had a cop of my OR report with me. Ok, first, the round pouch was due to the lab band that was removed in September. The shape is different and I'm glad there are others out there like me!! Eating pizza was stupid and the look on my surgeons face was not a good one! He told me that since I only had a small amount of weight to loose, it would go slower but do not loose focus. He said he knows how easy it is to get discouraged, but do not loose focus, told me to ever push the envelope or sleeve again and DO NOT LOOSE FOCUS!!! I was also told that wording was a factor due to insurance...I was denied the revision because I was not heavy enough. It is not a plication and my stomach is at 15%....however the OR report does not indicate any percentage of stomach...should it?? I had my lab band removed in September. I went in for a simple replacement of my port and woke up to hear they had to take it out due to infection underneath the tubing. I was shocked and upset however I look at is as a blessing. I was very thin, sallow, tired and malnourished. I gained 50 lbs in 4 months and was miserable but everyone told me my eyes looked brighter and I looked healthier. I was so focused on the weight gain I did not notice it at the time but I look at pictures and realize it was true. Even today, 20 lbs thinner, I feel so incredibly healthier. It has been a long haul and the last thing I want to do is to have issues with my sleeve...etc leak!! Pizza was not good and will never again for a looooong time...lol. It is completely different from the band and I lived with that for 7 years so I got real used to being able to cheat it if I wanted. It's a totally different feeling and one that I'm trying to get used to and I will. With all the wonderful insight you all have to offer its amazing and I thank you all again for your posts. I hope what my dr told me makes sense, if not please let me know your thoughts and anything else I may need to look into????

Weight loss surgery patients need to focus on getting enough protein, but that is not the only important nutrient. Carbohydrates have their place, too. Use them right, and you can benefit with more stable blood sugar, lower disease risk, They can even give you a better chance of keeping off the weight for good. In general, look for less processed, higher-nutrient, higher-fiber, lower-sugar carbs 1. Oatmeal. Despite its high carb count, oatmeal is one of the healthiest foods, even for weight loss surgery patients. It is a whole grain (gluten-free, if you are wondering), and is a source of soluble fiber. People who eat whole grains instead of refined ones have a lower risk of heart disease, diabetes, and weight gain. Have oatmeal with nuts or peanut butter for a little extra healthy fat and protein, and add cinnamon for a sweet flavor without sugar. No law says oatmeal needs to be sweet. Turn it into a savory bowl with a poached or hard-boiled egg, some feta cheese, and sliced cooked mushrooms. 2. Pear. Pears have a lower glycemic index and glycemic load than many other fruits, so they do not spike your blood sugar as much. They have soluble fiber, which helps lower cholesterol and blood sugar. They also provide lignans, which are heart-healthy. You can do way more with a pear than use it as a dessert or a side for cottage cheese, although those work, too! Try serving it with all-natural ham, or tossing it with mixed greens, walnuts, bell peppers, and cooked chicken breast. You can also turn it into a salsa to top fish or chicken along with diced onion, tomato, and cucumber, plus chopped cilantro and lime juice. 3. Beans. Beans are a starch you can love since they pack in the fiber and protein along with vitamins and minerals. They are linked to lower risk for certain cancers, as well. If they bother your stomach, try having small portions or using an enzyme product such as Bean-o. Kidney, pinto, garbanzo, and black beans – they’re all good! Make hummus with garbanzos and olive oil, or try vegetarian chili with beans, tomatoes, other vegetables, and seasoning. Or, make a taco salad or naked burrito with fat-free refried beans. 4. Pumpkin. Pumpkin has a medium glycemic index, but so few carbohydrates that your body will barely realize that it is there. Aside from the potassium and fiber in pumpkin, you will find amazing amounts of vitamin A in the form of beta-carotene – and that can only be a good thing after weight loss surgery. Butternut and acorn squash have a few more carbohydrates but are also excellent choices. Stir pumpkin and cinnamon into your oatmeal, or mix them into non-fat cream cheese for a flavorful, protein-packed spread or dip for apples. Add chunks of butternut squash to stew, or blend pumpkin into a soup to make it creamy. 5. Peas. Peas may have a bad reputation, but it is undeserved. Choose snow peas or sugar snap peas in the pod for a dose of vitamin C and fiber. Use them raw or lightly cooked to preserve their antioxidants and keep their glycemic load down. Use them in salads along with lettuce, chicken, and chopped vegetables, or dip them into Greek yogurt-based dips. You can also use snow and sugar snap peas in stir fry – just be sure to keep them crunchy.

Glad things went well for you!!! Little pain is really exciting for me to hear. As I count down the days until my surgery (3/8). I would imagine there is always weight gain with the IV fluids. Keep us posted on how you are feeling. QueenBee

Kat, as always...you clearly have a way of expressing what others are maybe thinking but cannot put into words. On the steroids...I was on them for 5.5 yrs. Really raised havoc and contributed to a lot of my weight gain. Helped with the symptoms I was dealing with but also helped add the pounds (along with the fork in my hand).

I kept mine secret until one hour before my surgery. I was worried about all the judgment of people thinking this was and easy out. But it was going to come out eventually and I didn't want to lie about my weight loss when people start noticing the quick drop. I didn't want people to talk behind my back trying to figure it out so I decided to be upfront and made it facebook official. I got way more support than I was expecting. And you know what so what if they talk. If they really care about you they will be supportive. Find out who your true friends are. Everyone has seen me struggle all my life and if it wasn't for all the health issues maybe I wouldn't have done it. Its desperation to be healthy. This was my post to everyone VEVY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT about My Life. For my Family, Friends and inquiring minds who want to know. Soooo, I have made a huge decision that is going to change my life forever. Hopefully for the better. If all goes well.... Some of you may or may not know that I had a lap band procedure done in 2010 to help with weight loss. It did help for a little while. Eventually the band stopped helping me completely and I fell back into old eating habits. Started the whole yo-yo dieting again. I gained it all back then I lost it all again. Then I gained it all back plus some more. The band has been busted for about 3 years but it's still hanging out in my belly. I have been fighting battle of the bulge since I was 8 yrs old. The older you get the harder it is. The bulge always seems to win. The thing that really makes it hard are the underlying health issues. Like PCOS, thyroid, diabetes, depression and anxiety. Then there is the high cholesterol and blood pressure. With all these health problems comes medication for all. Some of the medication causes weight gain but you need them. So conclusion to this battle. I am having the Lapband removed from my stomach and I will be converting to the gastric sleeve. I am so grateful that I have a wonderful husband who has been with me through all of my struggles. He has seen my ups, downs and all arounds. He sees how hard I do work. How hard I try. How much I beat myself up when I don't lose weight even when I have done all of the right things. He has seen me give up hopes and give in to the unhealthy from my disappointment of not winning the battle. He has stood by me through thick and uh, not so thin. I want to thank him very much for helping me with my journey of becoming a healthier me. Because of my fear of judgement I have kept this to myself. But most people would say not to worry about what others think. A lot of people will say well if you just exercise and eat right you will lose weight. Well I do and it does help but it just isn't enough for me. Exercise has become really hard due to arthritis in my right knee and hip but I will continue to fight through the pain. This is not going to be easy!!!!! I love food!!!!!!!!!!! Sugar is the devil!!!!!!!!!! I am giving up all the tasty favorites for a new me. I am going into surgery at 9:30. Wish me luck. See you when I wake I love you all!!!!❤✌ — feeling optimistic.

I have PCOS, and my thyroid affects it. Or vice-versa. Anyway, I had the surgery due to Gastroperisis, Oct 3rd. And have already lost 15lbs. I did used to have issues with losing weight, no matter how little or healthy I ate. And even gained weight. It was ridiculous. All I can say is, talk to your Gastro doctor about your concerns. And get your T3 and T4 thyroid tested. A COMPLETE thyroid panel. I am on 2 thyroid RX, to keep it under contol. The weight gain stopped after that. Sent from my SM-G975U1 using BariatricPal mobile app

Since being sleeved on the 21st of October, I've been weighing myself daily. In the last 3 days I haven't lost and in fact I think I went up a pound or two. Is this normal? I'm feeling a little discouraged. I can now have mushy foods and creamy soups and I have been. Did I move too fast to the next stage of food?

Hi and congratulations to everyone else with their ops scheduled in May (I'm getting VSG on 2 May - my ticker keeps saying 1 May but that might be because we here in Aussieland are a half day ahead of US?). Quite a few of us are also chatting in the "Any MAY sleevers???" post in the gastric sleeve forum.- feel free to join us there too. I plan to post/talk a lot in these forums to help keep myself focused and accountable. I made the decision at the start of February that I'd be having the gastric sleeve surgery (I had stopped dieting more than 10 years prior due to the rebound weight gain and mental health damage it caused me every time, focusing instead on figuring out my food intolerances, sourcing and growing nutritionally better quality food, and starting our family). Fingers crossed the lack of recent dieting works in my favour. I still feel very strongly that all people deserve respect and I hate how aggressively anti-fat society is. While with weight loss I will get to enjoy no longer having to worry about seat widths, weight limits, limited clothing choices etc I'm still going to be angry at the systemic oppression of fat people in the modern world.

Well heck yes you want both and you will get both!!!! My calorie intake has fluctuated by 200 calories or so per day depending on what's going on and the scale doesn't seem to reflect either higher or lower (I like to think that by confusing my body I can lose faster). BUT, my water intake does reflect in my weight gain or loss. Our bodies are very interesting and very different. It's actually fascinating. Keep up the good work! Short and bathing suit season is right around the corner!!

I was curious how much weight gain is expected during pregnancy. I know everyone probably has different numbers I'm starting to plan for my little bean and curious how much most of you have gained. I'm 8 months post op and down 76 pounds bringing me to 182. I know in my heart i should probably wait till I get down some more but truthfully I can't get this thought out of my head. I want a baby so bad this was the reason for my surgery..

It depends on how soon you get pregnant and it's very individual in any case. Most that wait experience a normal weight gain. For instance, I gained 32 pounds. Right on track with a normal pregnancy and the first time I gained a normal amount. I've seen posts from anywhere in the low twenties to more than fifty pounds. Much of it is individual and whether or not you have complications will effect your gain. Those that get pregnant while still in their early stages post op might continue to lose for several months of their pregnancy. Some simply stall out and start to gain. Again, it's very individual. We have a few cheerleaders here for just getting pregnant right away, and that's fine if you're willing to do it. I would not intentionally get pregnant if you still have trouble eating your nutritional guidelines, though. I'd very carefully weigh the pros and cons of where you're at in your loss as well as nutritionally and make a smart decision that will work for you. I was seriously deficient in several vitamins/minerals until more than a year post op. Additionally, I had tremendous restriction until almost 1.5 years out from surgery. I still get an overfull feeling from eating one hard boiled egg. Because I'm also lactose intolerant and developed an aversion to meat while pregnant (I had terrible morning sickness for almost six months of my pregnancy) I had a hard time eating. If I hadn't had the capacity to eat what few carb-laden meals I could manage I would have had a real problem. I'm actually amazed I gained weight at all because I felt sick almost the entire time. And my baby was born small - 6 pounds, 7 ounces and they induced me a week early because they were worried about IUGR. Again, it's an individual thing and you aren't going to know how it will happen until you've already made the choice. But weigh that against your fertility, too. For instance, if your fertility is definitely decreasing (say, for age or poor egg quality that will only get worse with time) you should move ahead sooner rather than later. I can say that it's always possible to pick up and lose weight again. However, weight loss does seem to slow down a bit once you pass a certain point. I am having a heck of a time losing the last few pounds from my pregnancy. They have come off and gone on again more than once in the past three months. It is not easy to transition back into losing weight once your body has been eating more and gaining, that's for sure. If you're close to a year out and close to goal I'd say jump on and do it. If you're still in the early stages of loss or having a sleeve it's one thing for it to happen unexpectedly and quite another to choose to do it. I'm just putting that out there, because there are a lot of women that have surgery to increase their fertility, and who knows who will wind up here reading this? Both of you are far enough out that you should be okay but make sure you're prepared. Good luck! ~Cheri

If You Want to Lose Weight, Keep an Eye on Your Social Network One of the first things you learn about weight loss surgery is that you need a support system. The more friends and family you have around, the more likely you are to lose weight. At least, that’s what you’re told. It’s mostly true but it’s not completely right. The truth is that your friends and family don’t always help you lose weight. If you have anyone sabotaging your efforts, you already know that. But your friends and family may be dragging you down without trying to. You may not even realize it’s happening. Once you do, though, you can resist the bad influence. Effect of Friends and Family on Weight Take a look at your friends and family. Are they overweight? If they are, they may be getting in the way of your own weight loss. Part of it may be genetic. If one sibling gains weight, the other is 40 percent more likely to also gain weight, according to research described in the December 2011 edition of the Harvard Men’s Health Watch. You might point to genes to explain why you can predict people’s weight gain based on their siblings’ weight gain. That may be partly true, but consider this. Spouses are 37 percent more likely to become obese if their spouse does. Okay, live together, eat together, gain or lose weight together. That makes sense, right? But do you know whose weight is most closely related to yours? It’s not the weight of your siblings or spouse. It’s your friends’ weights! If you have a close friend who becomes obese, your risk of becoming obese increases by a scary 57 percent! And, if your friends want to lose weight, you’re more likely to want to lose weight. How Your Friends Affect Your Weight You don’t live with your friends, and you don’t share their genes. So why should their weight affect yours? Part of it is just from trying to be a good friend. Your friend’s job is to cheer you up and accept you for who you are. That’s great in most cases because we all need someone on our side. Unfortunately, it works against you when you tell your friend that you just ate a half a pizza because you had a bad day at work, your friend may just tell you that you deserved that pizza. Worse, she might invite you out so that the two of you can split another pizza. Also, your perception of what is normal and acceptable might shift towards what your friends do and think. If they are overweight or obese, you may not see yourself as unhealthily overweight even if you are. If they share a few boxes of doughnuts every Sunday, you might not see any problem with those extra hundreds of calories. But continuing to do what they do can get in the way of hitting your weight loss goals. Make New Friends… When you’re getting started on your weight loss journey, think about making a few new friends who are going to support your new commitment to health. Other weight loss surgery patients: they’re going through exactly the same things that you are. Exercise buddies: find them at the gym, in the park, or through craiglist.com or meetup.com. Don’t be shy about asking if you can join them for a workout or two. If they say no, ask someone else. You might end up making a few new friends that you can hang out at other times during the day. …And Keep the Old You don’t have to ditch your old friends and stay away from your siblings and parents if they’re overweight. Ideally, you can be open with them. Explain how hard you are working to get healthy, and let them know how they can help. If you’re lucky, they’ll be willing to change some of their behaviors to support your goals and get healthier themselves. Meet to go shopping or take a walk in the park instead of to eat at a restaurant. Order an egg white omelet instead of pancakes with butter, syrup, and sausage when you go out for breakfast. Meet your friends to do crafts or pack lunches for a homeless shelter instead of baking and eating cookies. If your old friends and your family are unwilling to change, you don’t need to avoid them. Even being aware of how friends and family can affect you can protect you from following their leadwhile you’re hanging out with them. Be on the lookout for unhealthy behaviors, and make your own healthy decisions. Skip the table’s appetizers and enjoy your glass of ice water. Order what you know is right, like chicken breast or fish and vegetables, while everyone else is ordering pasta or steak, mashed potatoes, and gravy. Savor coffee while everyone else is digging into dessert. Lean on them for sympathy when you’re struggling, but don’t use them as eating buddies anymore. Eventually, they may see how happy and successful you are, and they may be ready to ask you for help losing weight. Your friends and family are there to support you, but sometimes their love for you isn’t good for your weight loss journey. Ask them to help you out by setting a good example, and keep yourself from following their lead if you know they’re eating badly.