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I would go and order a non alcoholic drink and if he asks just say that you're not an alcohol drinker and move on with the date - it shouldn't be a big deal or you can make a different suggestion and let him know upfront that you're not a drinker- personally, I would probably just go to the place he chose and keep it moving Have Fun [emoji16]

So this guy I met on Bumble asked me to grab drinks next week (he said he was busy with work this week) and I said yes. Question is how do I go about this because i don't drink do to the surgery and just not really wanting to I didn't want to say "oh I don't drink, but..." Should I suggest a place or just go and not get an alcoholic drink? What have y'all done?

Pregnant women don't drink. Smart women who are trying to get pregnant don't drink. Recovering alcoholics don't drink. Some people are just teetotalers due to their beliefs. People who are on some antibiotics, anti-anxiotics, anti-depressants and other medications don't drink. If you don't drink, you're likely not going to be the only person in the restaurant who's not drinking.

March 16, 2016 Hello! If you're reading this you might be considering getting your surgery in Mexico at the Mexicobariatriccenter. I am post op sleeve day 6 right now, have a fever of 102.5, and am feeling pretty crummy atm. FYI: I am a nursing student in my 4th block so I have some understanding of pharmacology and the importance of sterile/aseptic procedures. The positives: Price was about $4300 plus airfare, incidentals, tipping, etc. I estimate I spent close to $5k in all. Hotel accommodation and staff at the Hyatt Place in Tijuana was great. They will give you as much chicken or beef broth, sugar-free lime popsicles, or various flavors of sugar-free Jello that you want. Surgeons and the Anesthesiologist were professional and did a first rate job. 30 minute ride from San Diego Airport to the Mexico Border and another 15 minutes to the hotel. The hospital is only 10 minutes away from the hotel btw. Negatives: Oh..... where to start.... Mexico Bariatric Center has outsourced their aftercare to a third party. The "nurses" responsible for helping with post-care are no more knowledgeable than Medical Assistants, although they do have a little medication administration training. However, their severely limited training, and understanding of bacteria becomes quite evident when witnessing their attempts (or lack there of) to prevent the spread of bacteria. Here are just a few examples: I never once witnessed a "nurse" use the hand sanitizer on the wall or wash their hands upon entering my room. I did witness my "nurse", Cesar, blow into his gloves to help open them up before sticking his hands in them. That sort of thing would probably get you fired in the United States. IV ports were frequently not cleaned or were simply given a quick single swipe of the alcohol pad before injecting medications into them. Those IV ports gets dragged all over the place and probably have little microscopic bits of feces and drug resistant bacteria on them. Which is a little like mainlining feces directly into my blood stream. When I told them I wanted them to do it correctly they would respond with "It's ok, don't worry, don't worry." And they'd just keep on doing what they were doing, as if my objections were completely irrelevant. Eventually I had to call and speak to the hospital administrator to have my "nurse" replaced with someone more competent. INTEGRITY is not something I found a great deal of with the non-management staff members. Perhaps placating (i.e., lying) is par for the course over there, but it was common enough that very quickly I realized I couldn't trust anything I was being told on face value. Please understand that this was a big issue that reoccurred on multiple occasions. Trusting the staff to do what they say they are going to do, or when they are going to do it, is a huge mistake. This includes the drivers as well. I can't overemphasize this enough.... to be fair, the management was great though, however they have nothing to do with patient aftercare. The third morning after the surgery several of the patients had been cleared to go and we were driven to a "Pharmacy". The "Pharmacist" behind the counter was selling anything and everything. He was trying to get us to buy different antibiotics than the ones we were sent home with. I don't think he realized that not all antibiotics work on all bacteria and you can't just take whatever. He did give out free samples of vitamin-B shots and Viagra for those who were interested. Did I mention this was the pharmacy the Mexico Bariatric Center sent us to? I ended up buying a few items while I was there only to discover we had been charged 300-400% more than the pharmacy at the grocery store across from the Hotel. The driver will then offer to take you and the other patients on a "tour and some shopping". These stores inflate their prices for the patients and provide a kickback to the driver (and most likely the Mexico Bariatric Center) just like the pharmacy did. PAIN MANAGEMENT! Unless you are willing to pay the extra $1000 for the pain pump that comes with either morphine or Dilaudid you will be offered the ghetto version of pain meds (e.g., Ketorolac, tramadol). Although these medications do help offset the pain they do not provide the additional benefit of the euphoric feeling from narcotics. They will offer you all sorts of ridiculous reasons whey they don't want to give you those medications and if you don't have a background in pharmacology you may actually start to believe them. But, they are lying to you. Remember, if you spent the extra $1000 you could have all the narcotic pain meds you wanted in the form of a patient controlled pain pump. I honestly believe they tried to keep people in enough pain that they would agree to spend the extra money. One "nurse" told me that they wouldn't give them to me because of the nausea. However, they give you meds for nausea. "Doctor" Sing tried to convince me that the reason they don't give narcotics is because people are less likely to do their breathing exercises..... Ummmm.... the #1 reason people don't do breathing exercises or participate in their aftercare not a lack of motivation or education on the benefits, but is lack of pain management. That's not my opinion, that's a fact. It was just one stupid excuse after another. The additional pain I (and many other patients) endured as a result of these penny pinching, dishonest, dimwits would be criminal in the United States. You'll get plenty of narcotic pain meds if you choose to have the surgery here in the states. I was advised by that I do not need a passport, by Leili Kohan my patient coordinator, to enter Mexico because their company has a special medical pass, which lets them get across the border without the long wait times. Leili was adamant about that. What she failed to mention was that in order to re-enter the U.S. you definitely need one. I was fortunate in that I ordered a passport just in case otherwise I would probably still be in Mexico right now. Summary: I am glad I had the surgery despite what I have and continue to go through. I wouldn't be opposed to having some other type of surgery in Mexico at a later date. I would absolutely NOT RECOMMEND the MEXICO BARIATRIC center. Additionally, make sure that narcotic pain medication (e.g., Percoset, Vicoden) will be available and have them put it in writing stating you get a full refund for all services rendered if this is not the case. Trust me on this, unless you're one of the rare people who felt absolutely fine, you are going to want narcotics.

@@salmon77 I go out all the time. I don't drink. I usually have bottle Water. People assume I think I am on mollys or something. If I do order a drink a rarely end up drinking. If I think I am going some place where I might drink I have to rearrange all my macros and calories for the day to account for the alcohol, which usually means instead of eating meals, I am drinking Protein shakes to allow for the calories. It just isn't worth it, I'd rather have a steak Other people don't care if you don't drink, really they don't, not like you think they do. I am outgoing and I don't need alcohol to be fun and have a good time. The only time people might have an issue with it, is if they have an issue with alcohol and drinking with other people makes them feel like they have less of an issue, but that is someone elses deep problem, that isn't your problem. I never hid from the world, but I do go out more or the same. Not drinking has no effect on my fun level. Plus I need to save all the money I can for my shoe habit.

I appreciate that you're looking to change your lifestyle. And that's a good thing. But your doctor's comments that alcoholic spirits are less fattening than wine are some of the weirdest I've ever heard. Yes, “savoring” a small amount of wine vs. guzzling a whole bottle is a good idea – fewer calories. And yes, good wine is a better choice than cheap wine -- but not for nutritional reasons. But the idea that the minimal number of carbs / sugars in a 5-ounce pour of chardonnay will make you fat again is simply not true. Skim milk has more sugars and carb grams than chardonnay. You can check these facts on any online nutritional database. Some surgeons’ nutritional education seems astonishingly lacking. P.S. Also check out recipes for watermelon martinis. They contain not only sugar found in watermelon juice, but sugar from ingredients like granulated (white) sugar and (in some recipes) sugary liqueurs.

There apparently is a strong correlation between alcoholism and WLS. Do a search on this site or Google it. I had read an obituary recently where a family member blamed the WLS. I had no idea. Be careful out there. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

LOL! I too was one of those girls.. and I am going to miss my wine! I committed to giving it up after having this conversation with my surgeon. He explained, which I already knew, that wine has carbs and sugars that will make you fat. Liquor, on the other hand, will not ever may you fat on its own. The body converts alcohol to ketones, which are either burned off as energy or eliminated. He told me that he doesn't tell people not to drink, because he understands that it's just what some people do. His advice to me was to choose top shelf liquors because they are made from superior grains, and mix them with zero calorie mixers. He also said that if I do decide that I want a glass of Chardonnay once in a while, buy a nice bottle of it and savor it, rather than knocking back a big bottle of Barefoot. All perfectly agreeable alternatives as far as I'm concerned. I'm only seven days out...so it will be a while before I have any adult beverages, but when I do, I am considering a nice fresh watermelon martini!

For all of you that have regained, did you ever seek psychiatric help? You are all admitted addicts and/or turned to old eating habits as soon as something bad happened in you life. We got help from a bariatric surgeon, but what we really need is help with our heads. What would you say to a meth addict who had the choice to get help and regain control of their life but instead chose to just stay in their room and keep using? Turning to bad eating habits is no different than giving in to a crack habit. I actually never sought counseling before or after WLS because I never had issues with the process. In fact, I found it quite easy to lose and maintain when everything was rose colored and happy. But when my best friend committed suicide last year, I knew I couldn't cope on my own. I was depressed, angry, sad, confused, and ready to put a bullet into my head as well. But since I couldn't do that to my parents, I had to figure out another option. I REFUSED to turn to my old standbys of food and alcohol....but that's all I knew how to do. After all, I spent 18 months drunk and gaining weight after my brother died. I was really good at it. With no relief in sight, I finally sought the help of a grief counsellor. I'm not saying it was a magical fix, I still struggle and I barely function through my fog of grief some days. But I'm still here and I am learning new coping mechanisms. We don't even talk about weight related issues because that's not the problem. The grief is the problem. And for most people who have WLS, eating isn't really the problem, either, life's stressors are the problem. You just don't know any other way to cope besides turning to food. But in the end WLS is a waste of time and money if you don't address the REAL reasons behind why you abuse food. You've GOT to learn how to deal with life without using food to cushion the blows. If time or money are constraints to getting help, there are alternatives. OA is free. Larger cities, hospitals, even churches have free support groups. It doesn't have to be bariatric specific support. It isn't about what to eat and what not to eat......You already know all that. It's about dealing with an addiction and learning new life skills. Even something as simple as meditation or yoga can be helpful. Smart Recovery is a very good addiction recovery program and an alternative to the better known 12 step programs like AA and OA. Its based more in CBT and treats addiction like a behavior that you have the ability to change rather than treating you like a victim of a disease. They have online forums and meetings, in person meetings, and the handbook to get started on your own is just $8.00. I've found it very empowering and a nice supplement to my counseling. There is no shame in seeking help. Life is hard and sometimes we need a stronger hand than our own to drag us through the worst parts. (Sorry for the long rant)

I use Pure Protein bars. They have sugar alcohols which can upset your digestive track of you eat too much, but at 4 months post op, I can really only handle half a bar.

My ultrasound and CT scan showed that I had an enlarged liver and Non Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease. I had to do a three month diet of 1200 low carb calories with 60 grams of lean Protein, 64 oz Water, unlimited non-starchy veggies, 1 serving of fruit per day. Then I had to do ten days of liquid diet with 5 small Protein shakes per day and unlimited water or non-caloric beverages. I lost 22 pounds pre-op.

@@Jennifer - I just realized that you were using chewables, not trying to swallow solid Vitamins. So your aversion is probably not a stricture. Most likely the chewables you are taking contain a sugar alcohol such as sorbitol, erythritol, xylitol, maltitol, etc; most do because it's a way to keep calories down while making the vitamins palatable. Surprisingly, even most brands of chewable bariatric vitamins contain sugar alcohols, although I do recall there were one or two brands that don't. A lot of RNY patients get super sensitive to sugar alcohols after the surgery (so read labels on "sugar free" products carefully!). For me, sugar alcohols upset my stomach even more than real sugar! Unfortunately this has meant an end to my favorite Mocha Soy Frappe because Starbucks' sugar-free syrups contain sugar alcohols Sucralose ("Splenda") also bothers some people, myself being one of them, but this seems to be fairly unusual. Also many RNY patients get lactose intolerant after the surgery, so check your vitamins for that (lactose is the sugar that naturally occurs in milk). My general dairy intolerance got much worse after the surgery, so I try to avoid anything with dairy components (lactose, whey, casein) in it unless it's near the very end of the ingredient list. (Hard cheeses work fine for me though, go figure!).

I found that sugar free Water ice from Rita's made me go within 10 minutes of eating it. my surgeon said that the sugar alcohol in it is high and makes you go. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Without more detail it is hard to give suggestions. Are you still following your program? What is your Protein target? Are you tracking your food? Are you getting in all of your protein every day? Are you getting at least 64 oz of Fluid a day? Are you avoiding starches and added sugars? Are you avoiding fried foods? Are you avoiding carbonation? Are you avoiding alcohol? Are you eating slowly and mindfully? Are you taking your Vitamins and supplements as directed? Are you exercising? How much? How often? Have you talked to your NUT about your goals and your progress? Are your goals realistic? Just saying you wanted to lose X amount but ONLY list Y amount doesn't tell me anything. Embrace the Stall! http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

My husband & I went to Mexico last week on vacation and I just wanted to share with everyone that it IS possible to have a fun vacation and not worry about food, even though we are on specific eating programs. I am 4.5 months post-op and pretty much adhered to my proper diet with a few exceptions. I took my vitamins, ate a lot of lean/grilled protein and tried to get my water in. If we were off-site on an excursion, I made sure to have a protein bar and extra water on hand. Breakfast was usually an omelet with veggies or a yogurt & fruit and lunch/dinner was grilled or poached fish, shrimp, chicken or lean beef and veggies. We stayed at our favorite inclusive resort and I pretty much ate dessert every night, only had pasta once (two spinach raviolis) and only ate rice once (a couple bites of sofrito & rice). I did have crusty bread at dinner most nights (usually with olive oil & balsamic) and I did drank alcohol most nights at dinner and at the swim-up bars at the pools. Before everyone gasps, I only gained two pounds. We walked a lot and went on several off-site excursions, along with swimming almost every day. I got back home Saturday night and went back on program Sunday. I weighed myself this morning and not only did I lose the two pounds I gained on vacation, but I also lost an additional pound. We took this same trip at the same resort two years ago and we both ate and drank like no tomorrow and I gained 14 pounds. I did have to say “no” to a lot of things that looked delicious and I couldn’t finish a lot of the yummy food on my plate, but it is possible to go on vacation and enjoy your meals with minimal weight gain.

Cookies are crunchy and go down well for me (unfortunately), so I avoid temptation. It's the sugar alcohols in the sugar free stuff that make me dump and irritate my pouch. Had 3 bites of homemade cheesecake. Dumped almost instantaneously. So fat content has a lot to do with it too. But yeah, no problem with sugar cookies either. I wish they made me sick too.

@@salmon77, Are you able to enjoy hanging out with your friends if you’re not drinking and they are? If so, maybe that’s the way to go. Otherwise, it may be time to see if they are willing to do non-drinking-related activities sometimes, and just hang out with them during those times. Alcohol will never exactly be good for your diet, of course, but in terms of when it’ll be “safe” – well, it’s not great. Definitely wait a little longer until the sleeve completely heals. Then if you choose to drink, know that your tolerance will be way less than it used to be. You won’t be able to handle as much. It also may be worth thinking about a few years down the line. You may find yourself at a point in your life when drinking isn’t the only thing to do: maybe you’ve just arrived there a little sooner than you thought. Whatever you do, do it responsibly!

@@coco86 - In general, it is more that the fat surrounding the liver(and all your organs for that matter), which causes fatty liver, is what your body will use first. A diet which causes your body to break down fats into the sugars your body needs will generally shrink the liver due to that fat being used first. So, your liver shrinks because you are putting less sugar into your body. You can read up on NASH (Non-Alcoholic Steatohepatitis) When I had my testing done my ultrasound showed that I had "fatty liver". If it is to fat then the surgeon cannot get in and see the stomach very well in order to do the surgery. So, my putting you on a high Protein, no sugar, low carb diet it can help shrink the liver. For my own decision, I would rather do and help put my mind into play about starting this new life change, and also I don't want the surgeon to go in and then can't perform the surgery because they can't see my stomach. I have heard stories of that happening, where surgeons have gone in and the liver was so large they had to come out and do the surgery another time.

Catina, are you saying you are having another gastric bypass to redo the pouch? Since your pouch does not have the ability to produce acid the problem you are having is an ulcer in the pouch. What you have sounds so painful. The issues we are having are both painful but different. Ulcers could be caused by many factors including stress, cigarettes, coffee and alcohol or other reasons, but the GERD I am having is partly because the esophageal spasms make food get stuck in my esophagus so since I was sleeved, I still have acid produced in my stomach which then forces it's way up trying to digest the food that is stuck in my throat because of the spasms. The spasms are due to the acid. Of course, I could always end up with an ulcer in the pouch, but my pouch will not produce acid which will stop the GERD which hopefully will stop the esophageal spasms. Even with the sleeves we aren't suppose to drink coffee and I sometimes do drink coffee and have wine occasionally. Thanks for input. I am prone to stress so I hope that I can do whatever I can to avoid an ulcer, but I know sometimes they aren't avoidable.

Thanks for the comments. As I said, this was a very good learning experience. I knew that caloric beverages are the arch enemy of weight loss. I don't think I can pinpoint the flawed logic that enabled this behavior. It may have been "I'm on vacation" or "it's only once a year" type of logic, or it may have been that I've had drinks before on occasion (very limited and very occasionally) without much weight loss impact. Whatever it was, this was a very good eye-opening reinforcement that for me alcohol or any caloric beverage is not compatible with weight loss.

February is always the most challenging month for me personally. My company conducts a week long national sales meeting, usually at an offsite location. Other work projects involved travel and I also try to take vacation with friends and family to escape the cold Midwest winters. This year I was on the road for 20 of 28 nights during a four week period in February/March. I was a regular drinker before surgery, but after surgery have cut back to just a rare drink on special occasions. During these trips, though, of those 20 nights I ended up consuming alcohol to some degree during 14 of them. This is the first time since surgery I've consumed more than just an occasional drink. This, in addition to not being able to totally control my food selections, would have been a disaster for me pre-surgery. In years past I would have ended the month 4 or 5 pounds (at least) heavier than I started. The good news is that I didn't gain anything. I ended up exactly where I started the month. The bad news is that I lost a month of weight loss opportunity during the first year "honeymoon" period after surgery. This tells me that the sleeve works. Despite not following my program well I was able to maintain my weight during this challenging period. In evaluating the month I came to the conclusion that the main culprit was the alcohol. Some days I had a drink or two, others I had probably way more than i should have. Remove the alcohol consumption and I would likely have continued to lose weight, perhaps at a slightly slower rate. So, for me the lesson learned is this: I have no problem handling an occasional drink on special occasions and still losing weight. Regular consumption of alcohol, however, will absolutely derail weight loss.

It doesn't do that to everyone. It doesn't do that to me for the most part. I'm no expert...but it seems to me (just like alcohol) everyone has their own reaction to it.

I totally get it. I'm 23, and it seems that all my friends do is go out for drinks. I sit at the bar and have an iced tea. And yeah, I get a lot of weird looks and questions about it, but my not drinking is not their problem. Do I miss margarita nights? YEAH. Do I wish I could come home from work some days and have a glass of wine (or five?) YEAH. Absolutely. I enjoy a good drink every now and then. But I'm not going to make myself sick over it. Or worse, make my weight loss slow down because of it. My surgeon's program says no alcohol for a year. Which... HA. Seriously? It's difficult to take that seriously when other programs recommend six weeks. Right now, I'm seven weeks out, and I don't think my tiny stomach could put up with a drink, so I'm not going to bother chancing it. That, and the empty calories won't help me at all. I'm going to try to hold out for six months and reevaluate. For now, I'll just DD.

Hello! I am new to this site, I just have to say first off.. I love your attitude and outlook on this all "the professor" I will be having my surgery for my lap band on April 7th!!! I am equally terrified and excited! I have struggled for so long and am ready to take the plunge. What is a realistic goal for weight loss?? I am 5'6 24 y/o and 234 lbs and at my heaviest. My lightest adult weight has been 149 and I miss being that size terribly. Just years of bad habits and depression helped pack the weight on. Also what do you choose to drink when you do have an alcoholic beverage? How long after surgery were u able to have a drink? I would just hate to give up my social life completely.

I have the lap band so my tolerance is still the same but I view alcohol as others do, as fattening and high in calories. That being said, I'm a total wine and beer snob and I cannot give it up forever! I just have one glass, usually on Friday and Saturday night. Since it's just one glass I make sure it's worth it and buy really good stuff. My brother gave up booze completely because it made him feel like crap but he's a musician and has a very active night life as a result. He tells his friends to feel free to drink in front of him because it's his choice and he's not judging anyone else for drinking. I think that's a good philosophy. And hey, it saves money at the bars! Get yourself your favorite drink and sip it slowly. Treat yourself to top shelf. Better yet, go to a specialty cocktail bar. I had an amazing ginger citrus cocktail a week ago and it was both delicious and relaxing.