Search the Community

Bariatric surgery definitely exposes the hidden dynamics in a relationship. Instead of thinking "I love him, so why does he treat me this way?" start thinking "Why would I love someone who treats me this way?" I am guessing that he resisted you getting surgery in the first place. Go for the revenge factor and get as sexy and sassy as you want to be. You have made the first step in taking control of your health. Don't give any of your power over you life away to him or anyone else. I threw two ex-husbands to the curb. The first one was my high-school sweet-heart and we were married 23 years. He got a mid-life crisis, and I got to worry about him bringing home other womens' germs to me. His response to my baby weight gain from having kids was that I had become too ugly to live. My second ex-husband of ten years was totally controlling and began to mistake me for a punching bag. so, see ya - wouldn't wanna be ya, restraining order and all. After taking two years off from men and relationships, so that I could get to know my own self. I had to learn what kind of music I liked, what my own favorite foods were, what did I want to watch on TV if no one else was barging in and changing the channels, who I was when no one else influenced my decisions. Could I make it on my own. Was being alone better that being with an a**? I met my gentleman friend of eight years, now. he is a gift from God, and totally supportive of anything I want to do. What I am saying is that if his response is an indication of how he was feeling about you anyway, then I would suggest keeping a notebook / diary hidden away. Write down his snarky comments so that you can review it later to remind yourself that it is not your imagination and he is hurting your feelings on purpose. My diary was a valuable tool at the divorce hearing. In a Walmart he told me that he was sick and tired of looking at my ugly face. That's when I realized that his private humiliation of me was going public. If your man is just insecure, he will apologize. But I'll tell you this...my first ex would rather have choked to death than to ever say he was sorry for hurting my feelings. You have a lot to think about. There are good men and women out there who will treat us decently. Life is too short to live with a jerk.

Ad12368 the reason that they gained the weight back as with all WLS is because they did not follow their doctors orders, you can not eat whatever you want and not exercise, if you eat more than you are willing to burn off then you will have weight gain and thats with surgery or not. People consumed to many calories and refuse to exercise. As far as hanging skin goes you will have hanging or stretch skin rather you have the wls or not if you do not have the surgery you have hanging skin do to excessive amount of fat at least with the wls and you do what you are required to do and exercise you can minimize the amount of skin you have hanging through exercise. I have lost 100 pounds and I look great I work out 5 days a week for 2 hours . I watch what I eat and hold myself accountable for my actions. I eat to live not live to eat anymore. Most people overeat because of some issue they have going on rather it be stress eating, depression, comfort their is always a source to why people over eat. You must remember WLS is a tool only yo must do the hard work and be willing to make the necessary changes that is need to loose weight. Also regarding appearance and confidence , your confidence goes way up and you are finally seen as a person and with envy not the butt of everyone joke. I know that I was also tired of everyone telling me I had such a pretty face now I have the body that match and I have been happily married for 20 years. You will see changes as well as people will show their true colors friends who you thought were friends were not they became upset because you are getting healthy and changing. Do not let fear prevent you from being healthy no matter what choice you make. Good luck and keep me posted.

anyone having problems with weight gain years after gastric bypass surgery? I need support! help please, we can do this together and lose that weight gain! Thanks in advance, Sharowna

I was concerned about weight gain with the depo (slightly concerned about reaction as well)... I did hear the same thing about the pill and would not like to take the chance finding out. LOL I was advised against the iud because I do not have any kids and issues with placement when you do not have children. I am concerned about putting more hormones into my body as well as side effects. I have thought about the nexplanon implant, but no long term studies, which makes me nervous too. I had a weird dream that it grew out of my arm and I ended up with cancer, dramatic yes!! My cousin also had the implant and ended up with thyroid issues, another friend bled out and became anemic with the implant, everyone is different, but nothing I want to go through! I'm kind of at a stand still with what form to use. The obvious of abstinence and condoms, but I want to make absolute sure and double up. So much to consider!!

Except for special holidays, simple sugars (other than lactose naturally occurring in yogurt) are not in my diet, no matter what form they come in. For me, they mean unstable blood sugar and weight gain. I really wish I was one of the people who found that sweets were too sweet after surgery, but I still like them. I'm currently using Splenda or stevia in my coffee, depending on what's available. Perhaps some day I'll be strong enough to eliminate artificial sweeteners, but for now, they are a pleasure I don't want to give up.

How many weeks between your last fill? I was doing 3 weeks but it will be 4 weeks this round. You may still be in the yellow zone. Share your concerns and see if they can be aggressive with the amount of your fill. I had 2 CCs primed at surgery and then 2 CCs at 3 weeks, but ONLY 1 CC at the last fill. I'm hoping that I get at least another 1 CC [hopefully 2 CCs] on Mar 4. Have you been monitoring or having feeling challenged with your food intake? Sometimes, it may be that the body is plateauing and just needs a jump start to get back to the losing weight. But, when you think about it, a 2 week plateau is miniscule compared to the years of weight gain. Plus, look at it as a VICTORY++++....YOu haven't gained weight. Patience. Be well...

Hi everyone! First, I want to thank you all for your input and posts, it really means a lot to hear thoughts from friends that have been down this road:) I did have my appointment yesterday and all my questions were answered. Fortunately, the hospital system where I had my surgery has an online portal where you can look up any report, blood work, etc. I had a cop of my OR report with me. Ok, first, the round pouch was due to the lab band that was removed in September. The shape is different and I'm glad there are others out there like me!! Eating pizza was stupid and the look on my surgeons face was not a good one! He told me that since I only had a small amount of weight to loose, it would go slower but do not loose focus. He said he knows how easy it is to get discouraged, but do not loose focus, told me to ever push the envelope or sleeve again and DO NOT LOOSE FOCUS!!! I was also told that wording was a factor due to insurance...I was denied the revision because I was not heavy enough. It is not a plication and my stomach is at 15%....however the OR report does not indicate any percentage of stomach...should it?? I had my lab band removed in September. I went in for a simple replacement of my port and woke up to hear they had to take it out due to infection underneath the tubing. I was shocked and upset however I look at is as a blessing. I was very thin, sallow, tired and malnourished. I gained 50 lbs in 4 months and was miserable but everyone told me my eyes looked brighter and I looked healthier. I was so focused on the weight gain I did not notice it at the time but I look at pictures and realize it was true. Even today, 20 lbs thinner, I feel so incredibly healthier. It has been a long haul and the last thing I want to do is to have issues with my sleeve...etc leak!! Pizza was not good and will never again for a looooong time...lol. It is completely different from the band and I lived with that for 7 years so I got real used to being able to cheat it if I wanted. It's a totally different feeling and one that I'm trying to get used to and I will. With all the wonderful insight you all have to offer its amazing and I thank you all again for your posts. I hope what my dr told me makes sense, if not please let me know your thoughts and anything else I may need to look into????

I have not gotten surgery yet, but I will be in the next few months. I have told only a few people and every single one of them gave me backlash. "It's the easy way out, but you're so young, just exercise and eat right... it's not that hard... you just have to want it." I did not think I would receive this much opposition from people who have seen me struggle my entire life, who have witnessed me go through depressions, weight loss, and huge weight gains. It wasn't until a year ago I realized this was a food addiction that I started understanding myself. Not everyone has caught up yet. If a smoker uses a nicotine patch, or rehab no one calls them a cheater or a little bitch. They applaud their efforts for trying to save their life! This surgery should be no different. I have an addiction. I am seeking help. I want to save my life. And in my opinion taking the easy way out, or the wrong way, is to sit at home and pretend that nothing is wrong.

So I'm going on eight years since my rny lost 164lbs but now I've gained 30lbs trying to go baby steps again to loose the pounds back don't want to go back. Have been keeping track of what I've been doing wrong it's not hunger but just I see munching and I join in. The good thing is that when I do eat solids I get full fast and sneeze from being full and u stop eating sadly it doesn't happen with liquids

It was a great visit. He took out 1cc and I can feel the diff already. He thinks the marriage issues I'm having is contributing to my reflux and weight gain

Interesting read. Thanks for posting. Fortunately I don't experience any of the symptoms from eating these stealth fibers. So although it's not giving me the expected fiber benefits, anything that tastes that good yet passes through without contributing to weight gain gets a thumbs up from me! And after having C. diff, anything that contributes to the health of my good colon flora Is especially welcome. Makes me love em even more.

I got stretchmarks when I was a teenager (just from growing), and I know lots of people who did, too. It's not just a weight gain or pregnancy thing.

I had my surgery on February 20th 2015. I have not walked as much as I should after getting home. It's cold and snow on the ground. I have just been walking up and down the hall a few times a day. My legs get sore and seem to swell if I sit too long. Is this normal? I weighed today and have not lost any weight. I had lost 13 with the pre op liquid diet and now I have gained 2 pounds. When will this weight gain go away? Sorry for so many questions. I am still quite sore but really feel quite well otherwise.

I'm very nervous about the weight gain too and hence the reason I am hesitant! I know there's many options, I'm aware of the pill (just not thrilled to add another one to my pile... I had a post op GI bleed and currently on soooo many meds!) I also am uncertain what I can take due to have the bleed...

I just started depo, but not for birth control. After I got the shot, I read up on the side effects and the weight gain is really a potential problem. I am going to do the implant as soon as this shot wears off.

I had the sleeve Nov 2014 and I am so happy with the decision I made. I decided on gastric sleeve vs. bypass because gastric sleeve patients don't have the malabsorption issues associated with bypass and my surgeon won't even do lap bands anymore due to the high failure rate. My pre-op weight gain was directly related to my over-eating. But not eating too much at meals, rather eating 2-3 candy bars along with a bag of chips and three scoops of ice cream every night after my family went to bed. Call it binge eating, grazing whatever, it was my way of feeling comfort. Now, post-op, I have control of my head and what I put in my mouth. I haven't felt real "hunger" since surgery, so I eat to live. I still get the late night cravings to eat junk because I'm bored, but I usually just eat a Protein bar while watching TV after the family goes to bed. Plus, eating really sweet foods before bed gives me terrible acid reflux during the night and that is a constant reminder that junk food and boredom eating should not mix. I see many pre-op patients at my monthly support group. They are either waiting for surgical approval or just getting feedback from those of us who have had WLS. It's a great forum for face-to-face conversations about options. I doubt you'll find one person who says they are sorry they made the decision to have surgery. Benefits clearly out weigh any pre-surgery food passions.

When I initially went in for my first consult, I was 100% skeptical of the whole process. I was semi-interested in information on the band, because there was no way in hell I was going to let anyone cut 80% of my stomach out. The doctor was very open to my concerns, but also gave me the stats for all of the procedures. He does very few bands anymore, because the post-surgery complications that occur 2-3 years post op (band slippage, total weight gain, etc) were happening more and more frequently. Long story short, I have 80% less of my stomach, and could not be happier with that decision (even though I was freaking out about it until the day of surgery). I was also worried that I would be hungry and unable to eat - rest assured, that doesn't happen. I have to remind myself to eat because I'm rarely hungry (I've felt physical hunger pains 2 times so far, 2.5 months out), and my life doesn't revolve around what I'm going to eat next. Make no mistake, it's a lot of work, but absolutely worth it in my eyes. Way to do your research - weigh out the pro's and con's of each, and make the decision based on what you are most comfortable with, because in the end, that's what is the most important. Good luck to you!

Congratulations!! My paperwork will hopefully get sent in on Wednesday but I have a tentative date for March 11th.. I'm so scared about my weight gain but so far I'm down like 2 pounds. It's better than a gain!!!

Agree with everything you said and one of the things I didn't mention I couldn't eat was potatoes, cake ... Rice, bread and a few other things was more because of in many people it causes problems long term. And because of some of those foods that swell and can lead to more stretching. So my doctor as well teaches moderation (although there are definitely some things she said to never touch again, soda) and says that one day I'll feel like I can eat just about anything I want in small portion, but just to be aware of the ones that are more prone to trigger changes that may lead to weight gain. I think we're saying the same thing and should be proud we're being diligent enough to listen and learn from the experts as well as our own bodies

That is a difficult question to respond to. I mean, I didn't start putting on a lot of weight until after I finished college. I seriously considered WLS in 2007, when I weighed about 260-270lbs. I made it through three months of the 6 month liquid diet program, and I was ready to kill someone. I was advised by my therapist to stop, because the 600 cal/day program affected my job and relationships. Since then, I put on another 100 lbs before I decided to move forward with WLS. Nothing I tried helped me to lose weight. However, if I would've been introduced to someone like the trainer I started working with before I actually had surgery back in 2007, I'm convinced I would not have needed the surgery to begin with. Working out with my trainer, I lost about 40 lbs in less than 2 months before I even went in for surgery. However, there were still things I needed to go through emotionally before I was ready to fix myself. I spent about 5 years in therapy before I was in the right mind-set. So, I guess to answer this question: on the one level, if I had proper trainer work in my early 20s, I could've avoided the massive weight gain all together. However, I still had things to work on to stop the patterns that caused me to gain the weight I gained. ... Also, if I would not have gone on birth control in college, I probably would have avoided quite a bit of the weight gain.

I particularly related to the post on the level of parents wanting us to be "better". Felt to me like " not good enough". I know they tried the best they knew... But telling a 13 yr old to diet and getting diet pills set up years of adult up and down weight gain and loss. I look at old family pics and damn. I was good enough... Just didn't get the message from anyone. Sigh

So, I just had my blood tests and MRSA swabs in advance of surgery next week (1st March) and decided that I would detail my journey here. Partly because I want to remember to come back on here when things get tough and I need a reminder of why I am doing this, and partly because I want to have a record of what I’m doing anyway, and I figure that having one that others can read, contribute to and, maybe, learn from (if I ever get to the point of having any lessons to teach) is as good a way as any. So, my background… I’m 29, living in London. I’ve always been overweight, ever since I was a kid, but my weight has fluctuated a lot. Generally, when I move to a new place, it falls, until I discover all the good places to eat, when it rises again. About five years ago I managed to get down to about 200lbs, but since then have crept steadily up and now I am about 290lbs. I think as I get a bit older, I’m realising a bit more the impact my weight is having on me. Over the last couple of years – walking has become more of a chore, for the first time, tying a seatbelt on an airplane has become a problem, I feel less and less energy and more strain on my joints. And I simply don’t want that to get worse. I haven’t felt any motivation to lose weight since that last time in 2009, and I had to admit to myself that I never will be able to do this on my own. So I have a choice. Continue to put on weight. Face into my thirtieth birthday at nearly 300lbs, maybe my 35th at 400lbs – who knows. And continue to see my body become more and more unable to cope. Or I stop. I take action, accept that I’m not going to be able to do it alone and take measures that will force me into a position of being healthier. It’s also driven by the fact that I want to have kids. As I’m gay, the most likely way for that is to adopt, but I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t be approved as an adopter at my current weight. And even if I was, I don’t think I could be a good dad as I just wouldn’t have the energy to be rolling around playing with a kid and giving them the attention they deserve. I decided to self-fund for the operation. I have been diagnosed with sleep Apnoea (in December) through the NHS, and since that’s technically a comorbidity, my GP did say that I could be put on the NHS waiting list. But faced with a wait of two years or more, I decided it would be better to just get it done privately. So I met with my surgeon, Ameet Patel, before Christmas. I had hoped to have it done before Christmas, but I was due to start a new job on the 12th, and he said that if I had the operation on the 3rd or 4th January, he wouldn’t recommend me going to work on the 12th. So I decided to wait until Easter when I could take some time off work. As it turned out, there were no available dates at Easter, and leaving it later brings me too close to a trip I have planned at the end of May. So I ended up plumping for 1st March. I’ve had no pre-op diet to follow, so I’ve probably been a bit naughty in what I’ve been eating since I found out my date. I know I shouldn’t but I have been seeing these last weeks as an opportunity for one last hurrah with food. Biggest Fears I was sent my consent form in the post, and seeing the risks in black and white terrified me – especially where it just bluntly lists ‘Death’ as a risk. Even though I’ve talked them through with Dr Patel, and even though I know the risks are very low, they feel very real now. I’ve started to think about things I need to do in case the worst happens, and again, I know it’s a very low risk, but my family live in a different country, so I’m making sure my partner has their number in case he needs to call them etc. The reality of that is kinda scary. I’m also scared of complications – and not knowing whether pain is normal or a sign of something more serious. But my biggest fear is that I just won’t be able to be happy when I can’t eat what I want to. I keep telling myself that being able to go shopping for clothes or go for a run or exercise without wanting to collapse will all make up for any feeling of deprivation – and that I won’t feel that deprived because I just won’t have the same appetite that I have now. But it is probably my biggest fear that I will spend the rest of my life regretting what I’ve done. To combat that I just keep reminding myself that the price of having that total freedom to eat what I want is looking and feeling like I do now – I plan to keep a photo diary of my journey to remind myself that however much I regret not being able to eat what I want when I want, it will be nothing compared to the regret I would have if I had the opportunity to get healthy but turned it down. My Hopes This is the bit that keeps me going. My main hope – what I desperately hope – is that the tales I’ve heard of your tastes changing are true. I would dearly love to wake up from the operation and be revolted by the foods I used to love and suddenly find love for the foods I used to hate. If only I could like vegetables and low fat foods more! My biggest hope is that my tastes will change, so that when I can’t pig out on chips it won’t matter to me because I don’t want to pig out on chips. The same applies – big time – to Diet Coke. I’ve never been one for full fat soft drinks, I find them syrupy. But I love diet coke, and I am really dreading not being able to have it. If I could wake up and not desire it, that would be super. I’m not claiming these hopes are realistic. More generally – like everyone – I hope this works. My thirtieth birthday is in October and I have a vision of how I will look and feel for it. I hope that vision becomes a reality. I also hope that my relationship withstands the change. My partner has been incredibly supportive. I think one of the reasons I put on weight is that he loved me and found me attractive when we first met and I was overweight (but still, I was only about 200lbs) – I think my mind went ‘yay, you found someone who’s attracted to you even when you’re fat…eat away’. But my weight gain has made me feel less attractive and so has impacted on our relationship. As I say, he’s been really supportive and I just hope that the changes don’t result in any changes to how either of us feels about the other. So, having rattled on for too long, let the journey begin…

I have been wondering the same thing! I called Oxford and they said as long as it is a motivated attempt of weight loss for 6-months and your doctor or nutritionist is noting your progress, you should be fine. I even asked if I gained weight would I get denied and they said no. I also asked my nutritionist and she said the same thing and has never experienced any authorization issues with Oxford. That makes me feel better, but I’m still terrified of getting denied! I had 4 nutritionist appts already…the first two I lost about 5 pounds altogether and the third one I gained a pound (after the holidays). I actually have my fifth appt tonight and I know I gained some weight back UGH! I’m just nervous that all this weight gain is going to get me denied and I’ll have to do this whole process again!

Hello all, I am new to the forum, but I am about 1 year and 2 months post surgery. It's been a rough road from the start was hospitalized a week after surgery for dehydration and C. Diff. Since then I have had multiple visits to the the office and ER for adjustments and pain. We can't seem to find a happy medium to keep my band filled to, it's either too tight or not enough restriction. In the last month I have had to have fluid removed and of course so goes the weight gain. Just frustrated, i do not regret the surgery because the weight loss has been awesome but I feel like I am stuck in a rut. I pretty religiously cook food from skinnytaste.com and the skinnytaste cook book, but going out proves the be the hardest from food options to cocktails and beer, makes me feel like I am missing out! I need to get back on track. Any suggestions!!!

The first time I stepped on the scale and had a 3 pound weight gain after grazing on candy bars, Cookies, cake etc the night before, I freaked. I had lost total control that evening and I was very afraid the next day that I would slip back to my old pre-surgery habits. So I refocused on documenting everything I eat on MyFitnessPal and I make sure I saved calories in my plan for a Special K Protein meal bar in the evening while I'm watching TV. Special K bars aren't considered high protein (only 10 grams of protein in 170 calories), but they come in great flavors and don't have the Protein Bar after-taste that many high Protein Bars have. So I've convinced myself that a Special K bar is like my evening candy bar.