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Just some stuff that has been tumbling around in my brain. I have ALWAYS considered myself fat. Never have I thought I was normal. All of my friends were normal, but not me. With 40 pounds lost, things are changing... Something is awakening inside me! I have always longed to be the flirty gal that all the guys want to talk to (even though I am VERY happily married) You know the girl, the one that walks past a table and all the heads turn. I want to be her! Well, Saturday night we went to a fish fry with some of our closest friends. I was the only girl there, like I usually am, but it was different this time. The guys were treating me like a girl, not like one of the guys! They are always nothing but nice to me, but it was like I was getting a lot more special attention. Only one of our friends knows that I had surgery and I haven't seen him since 1 month post op. He took me aside and said "WOW, you have really lost a lot of weight" I just wanted to cry! These guys that don't even know I am not one of the guys, noticing weight loss. I was blown away. Well his brother heard him say that and said, Yeah, you are looking really good. Mind you, the alcohol was flowing, and I was 3 sheets to the wind, but I was in Heaven. This time there was another guy there that knew my DH but I had never met him. Well, he was HOT. He is a guy that you never would think would lood twice at a big girl (that is my messed up way of thinking) Anyways... as the nite progressed, this big girl (very pretty) came out of the house and it was his wife!!! I just loved him even more for being such a hottie and loving one of us curvacious women. I know, a lot of rambling, but I am trying to find myself and get out of my shell when it comes to guys!!! I don't need to come all the way out since I am married, but you know, I want to be able to talk to them and to dance with them. How do you react to men thinking you are hot???? I have been getting noticed a lot more, and it scares me a little!!! Thanks for listening to my rambling.

Ice packs with cloth covers (or wrapped in a tea towel). They helped with some of the abdominal internal swelling and discomfort. Personally I did my grocery shopping before surgery. I got some ice pops and fudge bars that were sugar free, only they had sugar alcohols in them and after surgery I got the side effect of ingesting those. So I am basically eating ice chips instead of popsicles. If you don't have it, a hand held shower head in case you have an accident and don't make it to a toilet (sometimes you just can't move fast enough). I also took off my bandages after 48 hours and one of the steri-strips was stuck to the bandage, so I had to have hubby go get butterfly bandages (the nurse OKed that) and the nurse told me to stay out of the shower for a few more days! So moral of the story, leave the bandages alone until you absolutely have to leave the house and HAVE to take a shower for decency's sake. I also was unable to do anything close to the floor for a few days. It hurt to crouch or bend over, so I couldn't feed the cats or clean the litter box or pick up anything (clothes, shoes, books) off the floor (that's what hubbies are for). Also, if you have pets that like to crawl on you, don't sleep where they can ambush you. It hurts like the dickens. And super loose clothing across the ab area. I wore denim for the first time 6 days after surgery and it hurt bad! (I got 7 incisions). And two or three boxes of gas-x strips. I went through the first box the first two days and had to send hubby for more. And BEFORE you leave the surgery ward, call where your prescription is and MAKE sure they can and will fill it for you. I was released after close of business and after a grueling hour ride on bad roads, the pharmacy wouldn't fill it because they needed more info from my doc, so my first night home was painful. I should have gotten the script a couple of days before surgery, so we wouldn't have had to go after the surgery. Out of EVERYTHING that was the WORST thing that has happened so far.

Obesity bias. We all hear about, and some of us experience it, in the workplace and in social situations. But obesity bias lurks elsewhere, in places where you’d least expect it because the people involved are so well-educated. It lurks in what I call the “helping professions”. Teachers, ministers, people who ought to know better. Because of that, I addressed the last chapter of Bandwagon to medical professionals. Telling them how I feel about obesity bias is important to me personally, and awareness of the issue is important to us all, fat or thin, young or old. Politicians, educators, and the media can help (if they can just get their heads screwed on straight), but those of us who suffer from obesity can help by refusing to tolerate it. That’s why I’m reprinting my obesity bias chapter here: I want to put the fire in your belly. Curious? Read on. AN OPEN LETTER TO MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS You wouldn’t guess it to look at me now, but I was once obese enough to qualify for and have bariatric surgery. I was so fat that I got stuck in turnstiles, had to use handicapped stalls in public restrooms, and dressed in drab garments that looked like they were made by Omar the Tentmaker. I was so fat that children would point at me and giggle. So fat that I couldn’t fit in a booth in nice restaurants. So fat that fellow airline passengers groaned when I sat down in the seat beside them. Despite all that, I think I've been pretty lucky. I haven't suffered as much of the obesity prejudice that others like me have faced. My career might have been more successful if I was thin, but I was never aware of obesity bias in a workplace and I advanced further in my career than I ever could have dreamed possible. But I have experienced obesity prejudice, and some of that has come from you: the health care professionals with whom I've entrusted my physical and mental health, and that's a special kind of betrayal. I’m not a doctor; nurse; nutritionist; dietician; surgeon; exercise physiologist; physical or occupational therapist; medical, laboratory, radiology or surgical technician; or psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker, so I can only make assumptions about what motivates you in the practice of your profession. It’s probably a mix of things: the need for a paycheck; love of science; the expectations of your families, teachers and employers; laws and ethics (both written and unwritten); the desire to relieve suffering; and compassion for your patients. In reality, compassion seems to be undervalued in both the medical community and society at large. I'm told that medical students undergo training so grueling that it would be considered inhumane in any other environment. Then they leap into a practice that requires them to balance patient care with business, financial, insurance, legal and ethical issues that their formal education did not fully address (if at all). Americans of any profession live in a paradoxical society. We praise the athlete who finishes out a game despite a serious injury while we pop pain pills for the aches in our own inactive bodies. We give our children television sets, video games, cell phones and junk food, but don't have time to play with them or encourage them to exercise. Our government mandates the publication of nutrition information on food packages that we are unable or unwilling to understand. We admire the underweight women pictured in celebrity magazines while we wait in line at the supermarket to purchase a cartful of super-processed, calorie-rich, nutrition-poor food. During our daily trip to McDonald's, we recoil when we see an obese person enjoying the same meal that's on our own tray. We think, "What a pig! I would never let myself get that fat. Why doesn't she go on a diet? She must be too lazy or too stupid." Then we stuff another fistful of French fries in our mouths, take a big swig of Coke, and secretly loosen the button on our own straining waistband. The meal we have just eaten could feed a third-world family for a week, but neither our greediness nor their neediness concerns us. Somehow the careless eating habits of a normal weight person, the anorexic eating of an underweight actress, and the starvation of an impoverished child are all okay, but the overeating of an obese person is reviled. Despite the societal stigma associated with it, obesity isn't the shameful plight of "other" people — lazy, unlucky, immoral people. It can happen to anyone. It happened to me, and it can happen even to well-educated medical professionals like you. I am by no means lazy. God has given me many blessings, and I do my best to live in a moral fashion, but through a mysterious combination of nature and nurture, I suffer from the chronic disease of obesity. It is no easier for me to cure myself of this disease than it is for someone to cure herself of asthma, epilepsy or diabetes. I find it ironic that the only current "cure" for diabetes - gastric bypass surgery - is so often considered to be unnecessary “cosmetic” surgery when an obese person seeks it as treatment for their disease. When I asked him for a referral to a bariatric surgeon, the physician who diagnosed my Type 2 diabetes (who happens to be morbidly obese himself) told me, "You don't need something that drastic. You just need to try harder." Telling me that was as helpful as telling a patient with a broken leg, "Let's just wait and see if this gets better on its own. If you concentrate hard enough, that bone will mend itself." That same doctor told me many times to exercise more and eat less. We live in a small town and I see him and his family in local restaurants and stores, but never at the health club owned by the hospital with which he is affiliated. The most strenuous exercise I've seen him do is to repeatedly lift a fork to his face as he plows through a plate of Mexican food. Do I sound bitter? I suppose I am, and you would be too if you had been treated by your fellow human beings, including medical professionals, the way I have been treated. To hear me talk, you might think I'm nursing a grudge against my doc, but I'm not. My obese doctor is a really nice guy, and I have genuine respect for the talented, hard-working people who practice the "helping professions". But not for one minute do I believe that any of them are qualified to judge me. That privilege is reserved for God. Sometimes it's the most kind and well-intentioned people who inflict the most hurt and humiliation on an obese person. To suffer that at the hands of professionals who ought to know better has been especially hurtful and disappointing. When I first moved to Tennessee, I went to see Dr. X, the family physician recommended to me by a local friend. He gave me a prescription for my high cholesterol (essential, he said), refused me medication for depression (not necessary, he claimed), and told me I must lose weight (also essential). I asked him how I should do that. His response was, "It's simple. Put the fork down. Eat less and exercise more." When I said, "That's easier said than done," he answered, "You don't need to talk about it. Just do it." (He also inexplicably refused to give me a referral to a nutritionist, psychotherapist or weight loss support group.) From this experience I could only conclude that my obesity was due to a fatal lack of willpower. I reported that conversation to my friend, who said, "That's probably because Dr. X used to be very heavy himself, and he thinks if he can lose weight, anybody can." The fascinating thing about that factoid was that although Dr. X was specially equipped by his own experience with obesity to give advice, support, and compassion to an obese patient, he was unable or unwilling to offer me any of those things. I don't know what his problem was, because I never got to know him better. I found another family doctor (the obese one) and never returned to Dr. X for medical care. I've also experienced obesity prejudice in a mental health setting. For a year or so I attended a support group meeting for behavioral health patients at our local hospital. The woman who facilitated the group was an addiction specialist - entirely appropriate considering the high proportion of drug and alcohol addicts in the group, but even she laughed when I told the group, "It's all very well for you to talk about abstinence. You can completely give up drugs or alcohol and survive just fine, but if I completely give up food, I'll die." I'll admit I often say funny things with a serious expression on my face, but how was that statement funny when tears were running down my face? I've even experienced a subtle form of obesity prejudice in a bariatric medical practice. In the past five years, I've used the services of two different hospitals with well-established, well-respected bariatric surgery programs. I won't name them because medically I have no bone to pick with them, but I will describe them because they reveal a lot about themselves in their bariatric facilities' design. One facility is supplied with plus-size patient gowns; wide benches and chairs; wide hallways and doorways; big exam tables with sturdy step stools beside them; large, easy-access restrooms; specially-equipped operating rooms; large-size blood-pressure cuffs; and many other accommodations for large-sized patients. The other facility has none of that, and if a patient is too large to fit through the door that leads to the exam rooms, his or her consult may take place in the waiting room, in the sight and hearing of other patients. So much for patient confidentiality, huh? Both of these facilities have given me excellent and considerate care, but only one of them gives the impression of having thought deeply about what its patients really need. And speaking of what bariatric patients really need, I also have a word for the general surgeons who are jumping onto the bariatric bandwagon in hopes of increasing revenue: please, please don't lift that scalpel until you've established a complete patient education and aftercare program, employing the services of the experienced nurses, nutritionists, psychologists, exercise physiologists and other bariatric professionals who can make or break your patients' success. When you have your team assembled, please make sure they're all singing from the same sheet of music. One of the most common complaints I hear is that staff members in a single bariatric practice issue conflicting instructions - for example, the surgeon says you should eat 1/2 cup of food per meal, but the nutritionist says you should eat 1 cup. My response to this is always: follow the surgeon's advice until you're able to clarify the issue. But bariatric surgery patients, especially new ones who are trying to learn dozens of new facts and behaviors, do not need their bariatric team adding to their confusion. Just as you should not underestimate your patients' need for education and support, nor should you underestimate their intelligence. Surely as a scientist you can acknowledge that human intelligence is not inversely proportionate to body size, any more than it's related to skin color, ethnicity or religious belief, but I must remind you that mental faculties do not decrease as body size increases. While I appreciate any efforts you make to communicate clearly, it is not necessary to talk down to me. And baby talk is out of the question. I will never forget the doctor (about 15 years my junior) who explained to me that while I (age 50) was catheterized for surgery, I would "go pee pee" into a bag. I am not a child, and I will thank you to treat me as an adult. If you want me to call you "Doctor Smith", please address me as "Ms. McMillan" (or, if you are of a southern persuasion, "Miss Jean"). By now you may be thinking, "I don't have time for any more of this nit-picking," or, as a nurse practitioner once said to me, "I don't have any more time for you today. I have sick people to see." But before you run off, I also want to say this: Thank you for all that you do, for your arduous studies, hard work, and long hours; for the risks you take, your research, your continuing education; for being willing to treat a complicated and chronic disease like obesity with an expensive medical gadget that's being refined and improved even as I write this, even as you walk through the operating room doors to perform weight loss surgery on another patient. Keep up the good work, partner. None of us would get very far on the bariatric bandwagon without you!

I feel your pain. I have dealt with alcoholism in my own family which made for a very rocky, unhappy childhood. I hope he sees the light at some point. I really hope the parents can start seeking help to understand how to deal with this addiction to stop enabling him.

Dealing with a parent who died from alcoholism (found dead on the floor with a glass of scotch still frozen in his hand) is hard enough if I have to do this again with a sibling or a child I don't know if I could as it's so painful!!! Good luck to you and your family and get support for yourself. Nancy.:thumbup:

I am a year out from surgery tomorrow. I had RNY 11/07/16. I lost 155 lbs. Now I have gained back 15. I'm stuck because I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety. I go to therapy weekly and group every other week. I also am on medication for my mental illness. All I want to do is eat. I don't drink soda or alcohol. I get around 50-60 grams of protein a day. The rest is sugar and carbs. I feel so hopeless and like I've let everyone down. I can eat a whole box of cookies in an evening. I try to drink calorie-free things. I do well for a couple days and just do soft foods and track my calories and get protein, then I get depressed and overeat. I don't want people getting onto me but I'm getting suicidal due to this problem. I can't get big again. I'd rather die. I have an appointment for a one year checkup later this month and I'm so frustrated and depressed that I feel worthless. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice? I'm in DBT and therapy and trying everything I know to do. I'm a college student and always on the go, I need some help. Thanks in advance.

I don't think the alcohol is a good idea. My largest incision next to my navel had a gap and it started leaking a small amount of fluid. My surgeon told me to keep it clean and put a bandaid on it. It closed up in about 2 or 3 days. The bandaid seemed to help it heal much faster. Maybe because it could breathe more?

Yep, stop alcohol. I'm a little ahead of you and had this happen on two of them . When I called, they told me to get wound closure strips (like steri strips but available at walgerens with adhesive already on them). A tip: if you jsut put them on flat, the wound will stay open. I found it worked best to put the tape above/on top of the incision first, pull gently down as I adhered it down across the incision, so that it brough the two sides together. I used 2 on the small one and 3 on teh large one. The one that was more open is still a little bit larger scar, but the one that was a small gape looks just like al lthe rest now, a nice tight line.

What about alcohol after the recovery stage????

Hi all, I'm going to be banded on Feb 22nd and I love to party!!! Will I still be able to drink enough to get a buzz?? I know that sounds bad but I like to have fun and I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to get drunk again!!

I would ask your nutritionalist as every plan is different. Mine allowed them in the soft food and “normal” diet stages. I’d stick with something easy to digest and not high in sugar alcohols like many are

I had Alcohol tonight. I get so drunk so quick now. I'm glad I'm at home and well I had some bubbly so no idea but I'm sure I fell off my diet tonight... and I had a whole box of nerds. Happy New Year!

I had a mixed drink about 2 weeks post-op. It was a friends b-day and I just sipped it over the course of about 3 hours. Now I will have a drink here and there, but I too feel it quickly. For super bowl I had a pomegranate martini and even though I took it slow and had food with it, I was too tipsy to drive home. Even 2 hours later, I ended up getting a ride with my mom and going back for my car the next day. If you are going to have a drink, make sure you have a ride or someone else to drive you home. Also make sure you are not taking pain meds with the alcohol. (I know that most people know this, but it never hurts to say it) Other wise, Cheers. ~Mandy

I avoided alcohol for about 2 months until I was sure my stomach was healed. Now I sip a bourbon and Water and it lasts a long time! No beer no bubbly. Wine tastes like cr*p, Bloody Mary's made from scratch are YUM, don't like the premade mixes, too much salt and pepper. coffee I have drunk since day 1, limited amounts, usually just 1 cup in the morning, sometimes 2.

Hi all, I have a question about lapband and alcohol. I had a few too many drinks on Saturday night with some girlfriends. Since then I've had some stuck issues and vomited a bit. I am hoping this is all part of my learning curve and learning my new limits. Maybe big nights need to be a thing of the past? Has anyone else experienced this??

I can't see why it would have made you feel any tighter. It is worth taking care though for several reasons. Empty calories Low food intake means it is like drinking on an empty stomach so it often has more effect Lowers inhibitions so we may eat more or carelessly Very high quantity of alcohol may cause vomiting which is to be avoided. I did have the occasional drink from about three or four months post-op and I am relaxed about it now. But at so far post-op, I really know how things work for me.

I didn't drink any alcohol for the first year. and than I allowed myself to drink my Christmas drink of bailey's and coffee. I would have been hesitate to drink to much with the fear of the nausea and perhaps vomiting that could have occurred. vomiting is a no no. we try hard not to do it. you can still go out with friends but do sip on one drink. you are only a few months from your surgery date.

I used to drink more when I was much younger, but now a beer here or there or a mix is all I ever do. I do notice though that since I eat less to absorb the alcohol I feel tipsy quicker than I did prebanding.

alcohol wipes.

That's why this board is so helpful...It's a great place to come for understanding from people going through the same thing as you...I think it is hard to put yourself in anothers position and truly understand until you've been there yourself...Like people who can't undertand Alcoholism or homosexuality or anything else that is personal and exclusive to certain individules. The important thing is that they stand by you and maintain a loving caring friendship...If they don't get it...You've got us!!!

Mistakes can happen. My doctor asked me to pledge to avoid all alcohol and marijuana for a year because he called them "dis-inhibitors." [Love that term]. Hard for me because I am an investor [small] in a few wineries and have been known to tip back a few. Good luck. And be careful. Don't want to hurt yourself just because of a little fun.

For some of us, a small amount of alcohol goes a long way. 2 drinks has become my personal limit. Often just one before dinner But I love that I get to change my attitude just a bit. Since being widowed last year, I rarely find myself out at night.. But it is a nice treat to be civilized and have a cocktail with a small dinner for me????

This confused me too because in Australia a no sugar added cordial is what you guys would probably call crystal lite. It is a no calorie flavour you add to Water. So I too was reading it wondering what all the talk about alcohol was for. To the OP I added a little sugar free lemon or lime juice to my water to keep my palate fresh and the nausea at bay. I still do add it sometimes ... depending on my mood. I haven't had any problems with losing weight even while still on insulin. I will say that my doctor took me off insulin last week .. and all of a sudden I dropped 3 kg in 5 days - which only goes to show insulin makes you retain Fluid and possibly fat as well.

My doctor has strict guidelines of no alcohol for eight months.

Oh poop I agree with being careful about not falling prey to no sugar added. It's a tricky thing to say the least. Once you're far enough out, if you want a cocktail then have one. Make sure it has low glycemic impact is all. It's fine to warn cautionary on addiction switches but not everyone is going down that road.... there are plenty, likely most, who will not fall victim to this. There are plenty of us here who can enjoy an occasional alcoholic beverage without needing to concurrently enroll in detox and AA programs. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App