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1. No I would not date them, but that is only a personality quirk. I don't favor things that reject me. For example when I applied for a job at a certain business, and didn't get it, I stopped going there for almost a year. I had been a frequent customer before. 2. I would think that they liked my personality, but didn't find me attractive. I would also think that they view physical traits more importantly, or at least as importantly as personality traits. I don't think thats shallow though as everyone has the right to be attracted to whom they please - fat, thin, or wearing thigh high latex boots with a pink wig. 3. No the person doesn't have poor character. Many people believe that physical attraction is important not only in initiating a relationship, but also maintaining it. This is especially true in a dating situation. Unless he or she made a promise to love you no matter what then I don't believe they have an obligation to maintain a relationship with someone they no longer find attractive. To qualify this statement I am assuming that this is significant weight gain, not "I only like girly sixpacks and you gained FIVE WHOLE POUNDS" - that I would consider shallow. Marriage is a different matter as both parties have made vows to love and cherish each other in sickness and in health. I consider being significantly over weight to fall under sickness. Breaking that vow and abandoning a spouse under those circumstances would make me view the person leaving far less favorably.

My husband and I had only been dating about a month (well a little over a month) when the going did get tough for me in terms of my health. That was the way I saw how truly amazing he was. I got sick, and it wasn't clearing up, whatever it was. And I sat down with him and I said that in case this turned out to be something wierd or lasted a while I would understand if he wanted to get out now and not be involved with me, because I couldn't do anything fun like go for walks and I never felt good, etc. I don't think he actually considered it. Well I got a lot sicker and for a lot longer than I ever imagined when I said that. And he was absolutely amazing. So I married him Seriously, I do not know what I would have done without him when I was at my sickest. I would spend days lying on his couch. He would feed me and get me medicine and just take care of me. And he took me to so many Dr apointments, to the ER, he asked the guys at work about gynecologists for me, etc. After we had been dating several months and my health started to improve a little (finally!) I gained some weight- about 20 pounds. Enough to get a bigger skirt size when I went shopping and have a bigger belly, so it was noticeable. And he did notice because he asked me if I had gained some weight. So I said, yes, about twenty pounds. I was nervous. What if he was disapointed in the weight gain? What if he asked me if I was going to lose it, etc? I had no plans to go on a diet. Instead he did the best thing he could possibly do: He said, "Ok, I was wondering." And then he kissed me on my big fat belly. So you see I had to marry him. My highest weight was actually just a couple of months before the wedding- I was just a couple of pounds under 300 pounds. But I got down to about 270 for the wedding, closer to my normal weight (I had ballooned on lyrica). He was nothing but supportive. Now I have never been thin (well unless you count when I was a tiny little girl). I was about 220 or 240 when we started dating. Of course I am also one of those morbidly obese people who doesn't seem to have the self esteem issues. I have tons of self esteem. Maybe a little too much. I think I am adorable. Granted, I am more adorable thiner, but I am still pretty damn cute morbidly obese. And I have awesome breasts. Anyway, I knew my husband liked bigger girls when he started dating me. I even asked him why. He said it was cause he felt that thinner girls were too thin and looked that twigs and he would worry about them snapping in half or breaking or something (he is actually very gentle). He just doesn't find skinny attractive. Guys I have dated in the past found me attractive. I never got past the second date with them because I never wanted to (i'm picky) so I figure I was ok. I wasn't going to date someone who jsut wanted a thinner version of me. And I wouldn't date somewhere who liked me but not my size-- unless- and this is the big unless-- unless my transformation to a healthier life style would be what promted them to ask me out instead of just my weight loss. If a guy was more impressed with better habbits and routines and energy and exercise and health, I could dig that. But if all a guy cared about was the scale, no way. Same with friends, etc. I know some people feel very negatively about obese people. Now maybe they don't care for what they feel is a lack of good grooming or something or other ignorant stereotypes. As I tend to be oblivious and still dress like a sloppy undergrad a lot (bleach stained t shirt, here I come), and I am more likely to forgot to brush my rather long red hair than I am to actually do anything with it (I haven't worn a ponytail in at least two years), I tend to have a bit of acne half the time because I can't be bothered to actually put on my acne cream, same deal with glasses and contacts, and I would like to wear makeup, its just that I would first have to remember, and then I would have to put it on. And that takes time and skill, and effort, and finding the makeup, and so forth. And I swear eyeliner requires an advanced degree in makeup technology. So on occasion, as I rush out of the house, it occurs to me I look like a fat slob. If I were to cultivate a more polished look and had people respond to the polished look I could understand that. But how does one figure out what one is responding to (other than asking because people do sometimes lie about things and I don't know how to tell if they are being honest)? Are people going to have a positive response to healthier lifestyle or lost weight? To polish look or to lost weight? Or is it impossible to distinguish?

I wanted to tell everyone that i had my surgery on June 29.. i had some weight gain. 4 lbs between week 2 and 3... it totally defies the laws of physics! am just a little discouraged about that but i know it cant last. I think im doing what im suppose to and never go over 1200 calories a day. but so far i feel like a new person already and a ton more enerygy then i had in 20 years. i hope this keeps going like this.

I would also be cautious of the brand of protein. Some are meant to used as a weight gain add. Make sure you stick to whey isolate and as said above use it as a meal replacement. As long as you are doing that I don't understand why your doctor would have a problem with it. You're doing great! 16lbs is awesome!

I can respect your opinion Cheryl, although I do disagree with you. I do think a forum like this can be used to talk about things like pain, etc and to get perspective from people who have actually had the procedure. Though surgeons are obviously educated they, most likely, never had this surgery. So they may not have tips and tricks that people here have. For example, I saw one thread for dealing with gas pain that discussed a yoga pose that was helping people deal with the gas pain. No ones surgeon knew that would help. That was discovered through talking to people in the same boat as you and someone figured out something that was helping others. To me, that is what this is all about. Yes it was a newly started thread that discussed that topic and it had a lot of activity. I get that this is a hot button issue for some of you. For me I see the value Ina new thread, but I believe forums allow for the ability to agree to disagree. That's part of the beauty. If you ever feel like someone is seeking advice that they should be paying for... Then I hope you exercise your right to move along. In my opinion, people aren't trying to use veterans in place of doctors.. It's more about talking to people with practical experience, who may have something to offer that a doctor doesn't. I can also assure you that I will not be eating an entire pie at Christmas and seeking your input about it. I've actually never had poor eating habits, so it's also not about changing the way I eat. My weight gain was due to a medication that I took for many years. I have always eaten healthily and made wise choices since I was a young child, as that's how I was raised. I was finally able to get off the medication and my doctor recommended this path for me. With that said though, people are human. They are going to make mistakes, and sometimes they are going to come here to talk about them. I'm sure there will be a time that I will put something in my mouth that I shouldn't have and I might go here to seek support from the only people who will really understand the torture that goes along with such a decision. I suppose why I commented I this thread is because I felt like there were comments intimating that newbies just didn't know how to play here correctly. I was hoping to remind everyone that all were newbies at one point in time. Perhaps my attempt failed or wasn't appreciated. Either way, I'm going to continue to post and be a part if this community even if the way I participate is frowned upon.

Thanks MCW -- It's not funny about being afraid to throw up, I agree, but I had to laugh about the notion thinking about soups making you nauseous and being OK if you stick to thoughts about Jello. Where else in the world would that statement make sense?? :biggrin1: :biggrin1: It just points out that although as bandsters we all go through the same surgery, each one of us experiences this journey in our own quirky ways. As I read posts that others have made, I am continually floored by the courage bandsters have dispayed. Each of us has made the decision to undergo this very big deal because we are desperate to experience success in keeping off the weight we lose. We have persevered in our commitment to permanent weight loss in the face of doubts expressed by ourselves or others that maybe all it really does take to be successful is to eat smaller portions and exercise more. We told our "true truth" that anything we've done in the past did not work and have turned our heads to the future by deciding on this procedure. Still, that little voice that we all have scares us with all the ways we could mess this up: throwing up and stretching the stoma going crazy on the liquid/mushy stage and drinking only milkshakes or something else high fat/high calorie being the only person for whom weight gain actually occurs rather than weight loss etc. We are alone with ourselves in the recovery stage and it is all too easy to obsess with the fact that we have or will do something wrong and blow this. I know for me it has been more difficult than I expected to allow the discomforts of healing (like major gas or itches) not to get in the way of my deep pride in myself for taking this BIG POSITIVE step in regaining my life. I am so grateful for knowing this talk forum is available to us to share our concerns but also to take comfort in the large number of people who are experiencing success on this path and all the tickers showing the decreasing numbers. I think I'll get one today!

never heard of insurance being affeccted by weight gain during the process - but have seen elsewhere on this site where particular surgeons have refused to do the surgery if the patient gained "x" or more pounds during the process - that is rare from what i've seen you should be fine - just get back on the wagon....

What you said is very common, It usually takes you to hit rock bottom or something related to medical issues before we decide to take drastic measures to lose weight. I can't say it enough of times "why didn't I do this sooner". I waited to get to this point to finally do something about it. You notice your weight loss not only in numbers, but the way you feel wearing your old clothing, the regained energy and more mobility you have. Those are true results. Yes, for some it takes time for 'other's' to notice or respond. I wouldn't worry about that at all, you would be surprised how often people in general are reluctant to say anything towards a persons weight loss or even weight gain. I know we are our worse enemey when it comes to sabatoging ourselves. Personally, I think you are doing fabulous! Keep up the great work

hello everyone. my name is della and i was just banded on monday the 4th. i am doing pretty good ,better than i thought,but i do notice a tight/pressure like feeling in my chest/upper stomach and was wondering if anyone else experienced that at all? also i weighed 286lbs day of and day after discharge i weighed 293?????? i had lost 13lbs on my pre op diet and after i have gained 7lbs!!! what is that about??? could it be the iv fluids? :thumbup:

Aspire Assist is not Mechanical Bulimia it only takes a portion of food out of your stomach. If you use the device for binge and purge you will fail because you will gain weight. You still will absorb 2/3 of what you have eaten with each cycle of aspiration. Those calories will add up causing weight gain and if your stomach gets bigger it will strain the tube causing you discomfort if not out right pain. If you use the device too much it will not work because with over usage it will stop you from connecting to your body as well. The mind set of using the device for binge purge is setting you up for failure. I mindless eat at parties so I leave my device at home to prevent myself from flushing then 1or 2 hours later eating more. I know me so I leave it at home so not to set myself up for failure. Some people can flush at parties and will not eat more that is good for them they have better self management than me. I will say with any type of diet or lifestyle change you need the proper mind set. I never saw Aspire as Mechanical Bulimia I saw it as a tool to rid my body of waste.If you just see the device as a way to binge and purge it is not for you.

Thanks Ladies, Yes i called them yesterday and we are all good... going to get my referral this arvo. They did however inform me that there is a 3 month waiting period between having the band taken out and the RNY being performed..without looking back through all the posts, have either of you been through that process yet? How did you go? Are you worried about this stage? Weight gain and so on?

I recently got to see my past and current medical records because I am trying to overturn my insurance company's decision to cut me off since I will soon be going over their income limit with my salary raise. Before I tell you what I found in my records, let me take a moment to highlight the real truth: I am moderately healthy. The only physical/mental issues I am still plagued with are hypothyroidism, mild to moderate anxiety/depression, and a mild skin condition. However, my records indicate that I suffer from a long list of diseases and inflictions. Many of these were problems I had over 15 years ago and that I consider conditions that I have RECOVERED from. I totally understand your repulsion with being labeled OBESE. My gosh, you have gone through sweat and tears just to get that ugly label off your plate. But the truth is that you will probably carry that label the rest of your life even if you became anorexic. I compare this to my "drug addict" label that I have to carry around even though I've been clean for 15 years. About 17 years ago, I had terrible inflammation in my joints because of rheumatic fever. The Vicodin that was prescribed not only alleviated this pain, but also instantly relieved me from anxiety and depression. It was like letting go of the100 pounds of bricks that had weighed me down for over 10 years. I felt optimistic, awake, energetic, and hope for my future. It took over a year to finally get help because I did not want to be forever labeled as a drug addict. I wasn't in a back alley shooting up heroin with dirty needles after not sleeping for days or taking a bath for a month. However, that is the image many people get when you have a drug addict label. Even at NA meetings, you have to present yourself as a drug addict. You can present yourself as a recovering drug addict, but the truth is that you will be recovering the rest of your life even if you never touch substances again. As a teacher that works with children with special needs, I could debate endlessly the pros and cons of labeling. Like lipstick lady mentioned, a label does tell a doctor what you have been through and an awareness that certain symptoms have a chance of returning again. A doctor shouldn't prescribe codeine syrup for my bronchitis due to my past substance abuse tendencies. Likewise, a doctor probably shouldn't prescribe Zyprexa (for depression) either, since a side effect is about a 20 pound weight gain. One could say that having this kind of opinion helps me to feel better about turning in my appeal with all my past health conditions and diseases. If they took the time to really read through my past medical file, they should be able to gather that I'm not afflicted with most of these problems anymore or not to the same extent. My doctor has filled out the insurance paperwork already and has informed me that she has put all my past health conditions onto the current health problem report. I would like to believe that she did this because she believes that past medical problems will always stay with a patient or because related symptoms could someday return. However, I think she may have done it so that she can continue getting paid.

I look to forward to being a healthy mommy and not being afraid of that I won't be able to keep up or be active with my son. I look forward to having another baby but this time at a healthy weight. I was so uncomfortable the first time due to my weight/weight gain. On a less serious note, my husband looks forward to more room in our closet- I've kept all of clothes, a range of about 4 sizes, because of my weight fluctuations. Goodbye fat clothes! For good! I wish all of us the best of luck!

I've had a fusion that failed. Also 4 others that have failed. A crushed sciatica too. Leg pain and on a cane. But since I started this, I have a new outlook. After my exercise class I've decided to start them now and it's helping me physically. Failed back surgeries is what has caused my weight gain, but not gonna let it anymore. I do get epidural injection every 6 months in rounds of 3. They aren't a fix, but a little help. Getting Facet's on wed's. Had them after one of my surgeries and they helped before

Some people have a few pounds weight gain right after surgery, but it starts dropping real fast after a few days. I lost 32 lbs the first month, but it really slows down after that. I've lost 60 lbs in 4 months. Not as much as I would like, but I have only 40 more lbs to Lose, so I'm over halfway there.

Wow that's amazing! Yeah I'm already fighting weight gain but it's so hard because since I no where have no fluid in my band everything goes through and I'm hungry all the time!! I have to control myself...especiallly since I'm able to eat EVERYTHING with no restriction. I just want this out and revised to be 100% on track with my weight loss goals. Being hungry all the time I still terrible! I really hope I have similar success as you have had!!!

From what my insurance coordinator told me, Oxford/UHC are not big sticklers to weight loss. They just want to see the 6 months of nut visits. Try not to gain obviously but it's not a big deal if you do. I had periods of weight gain also but I got approved

Yes. I did not have very many physical symptoms of PCOS like facial hair, or acanthosis nigrican it was mostly the irregular or absence of my menstrual cycle, infertility, mood swings, elevated hgb a1c therefore I would get hypoglycemic and of course the weight gain and PCOS belly. I am DELIVERT!!!! at 171.8 My belly is about a 28 inches I'd like it to go down to about a 24, 25. Hgb a1c is like 5.2, No mood swings although I do have periods of restlessness and anxiety that come and go. Cycles are coming like clockwork and they are fairly normal and weight loss remains steady. So yes I would say my PCOS symptoms have most certainly improved. I am 6 months post op.

I had my gallbladder out in 2007. I had lost 100 pounds and weighed 250 pounds. After the surgery, I had started to gain and got up to 470. Looking back, my activity and eventually my eating habits changed after the gallbladder surgery. I had sleeve surgery a year ago and am down to 201 pounds, 50 pounds less than when I had the gallbladder surgery. My conclusion is that the gallbladder had no impact on my weight gain or loss.

well i have been waiting in fear for this day....i drink sweet tea with lemon EVERY DAY and yep i only use splenda.... i use 85% natural organic products but i just cant use ANY form of true sugar...i have used the turbinado...weight gain... so if they pull it i will again switch to Raw sugar but will have to cut it back to a glass a day... i have no doubts that splenda has things in it that are not good for our health...at this point (until they pull it) i will stick with it. i feel like i cut enough of the additives by not eating anything proccessed but splenda ( and the occasional chocolate bar) i have seen first hand the 'side effects' calvins mother has recently (the last 6 months ) having skin rashes that she thought was associated with allergies...after all the testing they told her it was likey the splenda. she has quit the splenda and is getting better....

Got my band in Aug last yeaer did great lost 70 lbs of the 90 I wanted to loss then I had problems. Band slipped and had fluid removed then started to refill and then got dehydrated so out the fluid came again..maintained my weight loss but want to eat all the time. having some family problems and I am eating at night but still no weight gain Thanks God I have no resticktion, not getting stuck, can eat fast or big bit and hate that but I am still trying to slow down and eat right.. I did LOVE the band and not sure what to do now $150. a fill and $900 if problems and a special exray and unfill...darn this is difficult good luck to us all

For the past 6 weeks I have been very ill with the flu, sinus infection, Upper RI, etc My doctor put me on Penisone and I have gained 7 lbs in 10 days. My 5th of 6 NUT visit is tomorrow. What happens if I gain weight?

kmiller... music is right. This weight gain is from surgery. I had an ablation done and gained 8. It took 6 days for the iv stuff to flush out of my system and then I started losing. It is a freak out moment but you got this. Just keep working the program.

Pre op weight 189 Op day weight 5/31 183 Current weight 163 A week from today I start solids! So excited, I miss chewing food ! But I am scared as well. Afraid of food intolerances, weight gain, and if eating solid Protein will be enough to meet my protein requirements daily- and if not what are easy ways to make that up

First and foremost, congrats on building such a great exercise program and on completing three half marathons! I have read that your restriction can change over time even if you don't get fills/unfills. It can be caused by tons of things - losing weight, gaining weight, stress, exercise, dehydration, etc. That's part of why I chose the band over the bypass. I wanted the ability to adjust down the road if I started having problems. As for your diet...your needs may be a little different than most band patients based on the amount of exercise you do. You might want to talk to a nutritionist, preferably one who works with athletes AND band patients. Your situation is somewhat unique...I don't know a lot of band patients who are running half marathons on a regular basis. I'm curious to hear about how the appointment goes...so keep us in the loop! :blushing: