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I don't know what prompted this message. I don't (can't) read all of the messages on this board, because there's just too many. But in what I have read, I haven't seen much that rises to the level of ugliness and disrespect held out here, especially from the "vets". I've seen a few personal clashes between vets spill over, but I would think things like that could be handled in private messages. I fear that this message has and will continue to cost us some of our most experienced members on this board, ones who have been invaluable to me in my decision and preparing for my surgery. This saddens me, not only because I will miss their posts, but because I believe that the new people in the community will lose out. My therapist asked me why I get so worked up about My Big Fat Fabulous Life, and the Healthy at Every Size movement's message that extreme obesity can be healthy. The answer is that I get worked up because it's putting wrong information out there, and it can harm people. I was an ER nurse, and provided patient education to a wide cross section of our population, and in my experience only a very small percentage of people are educated and well-read enough to be able to tell what information they are exposed to in media, specifically the internet and social media, is incorrect. Heck, I saw a meme the other day that jokingly advised people to put sugar in their auto gas tanks to keep the gas from freezing. And a few days later, news reports about people actually doing so. So when people on TLC are advocating extreme obesity as a "healthy choice" I get upset because people will believe it. Likewise, I worry when I see topics broached on this board and advice that can be very harmful to newbies who don't have the experience or knowledge to judge the validity of the advice. Advice like there is absolutely no health concerns with e-cigarettes, or that drinking alcohol shortly after post-op is fine, or that eating solid food while still in the liquids restriction immediately post-op is just fine. I don't have the experience that some others do here, being pre-op, but I am a registered nurse, and I know that some of this information is dangerous. Yet when vets here or medically trained people like myself say - IN VERY MODERATE WAYS - that these are not really great ideas, we get trounced upon, and called bullies. Yet if we don't speak up, there will be people who will believe what they are reading that is just patently wrong. All I know is that some very straight talk from people who had been through it is what I needed, and what I found here. And some of those very same people are exiting stage left because they're tired of being called out for being "mean" and censured for that same straight talk. Bariatric surgery is a huge and permanent step, and if all we're doing is validating every opinion no matter how dangerous or ill-informed, then I fear for the same newbies that this message is trying to "protect". Instead of assuming people are coming to this board as rational adults capable of processing critical feedback, it seems that we're to assume they are all fragile souls who we can't say anything negative to. I don't find that a flattering or helpful assumption. Just my spare change, take it or leave it. No offense intended, just my opinion, and all that jazz.

Methamphetamine is great for weight loss. I'm not sure if you admit that you recently used that you will be approved through insurance. I remember having to sign that I was substance free, including alcohol, for a specific period of time but I don't remember how long. The psychologist also asked me 30 different ways about past alcohol/drug use. I happened to never try anything other than alcohol so I was safe. My only addiction was to greasy food. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

If you don't want to feel like an oddball, I always make it very clear that I don't drink and drive. At my work we have beer Friday's or sometimes we have little parties in the last hour of work for special occasions. While I would love to enjoy an alcoholic beverage (I'm pre-op) I always decline because I feel very strongly on drinking and driving. I had a family member die bc he had been drinking and fell out of a moving vehicle. I just use the drinking and driving excuse. Now if that doesn't work, someone once told me what they do is get a drink and carry it around all night. Everyone is drinking and doesn't even notice! Lol. If you actually think you can handle an alcoholic beverage, here is a great drink I was introduced to as a low cal drink: Malibu Rum with Water over ice. It tastes really good! I was surprised. And there is only 50 calories per ounce, so provided you drink the whole thing, that's 75 calories. Good luck. I love social drinking and I know I will miss it when ever I do get my sleeve, but it is a small thing I am willing to give up for a bigger better change in my life. Have fun!! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I am about 14 months post-op and still struggle with this a little. At 7 months post-op, my boss came in town and invited us out for drinks. I ordered Water. Got an odd look but he didn't say anything. I was frustrated that night because I "couldn't have fun". Sigh.... Now I can (and do on a very rare occasion) have alcohol but I am at goal and trying to figure out maintenance, so I am trying to consider it carefully and ALWAYS count the calories. One thing I find difficult is that once I lose my inhibitions a little, then I feel like "WTH?! I can eat!" and that is dangerous, so I think that reason alone steers me clear of alcohol for the most part. Now having said that, I just started a new job this week and got invited out for happy hour and I sadly declined. I want to go because I want to get to know my new co-workers better but I knew I wasn't strong enough that day to not go and drink too much. (Then I ended up binging on chocolate when I got home. Stupid stupid choice.) I hope that next time I can go and be responsible. I clearly have addiction issues - both with food and alcohol. So all of that didn't really answer your question. Early on, I had a spicy virgin bloody mary and I really enjoyed that. It does have calories but I figured I was at least getting some nutrients from the vegetable juice (I could be lying to myself though). When I went on vacation, I drank Crystal Light flavored water mixed with vodka. The raspberry lemonade and the peach tea were both really good that way, so if you can order a vodka water (not soda) and then add a pack of Crystal Light, that might work for you. I have also done well sipping VERY slowly on a glass of wine (but it is the 2nd glass that I have to avoid and am not good at doing.) Don't feel guilty if you want to have an alcoholic drink - as long as it is ok with your doctor and as long as you can do it only occasionally. (Transfer addiction is a very REAL issue in the WLS world.)Otherwise, honestly, the best thing to do is stick with just plain water with a lime or lemon.

My boss wants to take us out after work for happy hour. I am almost 7 months out from gastric bypass and have not tried any alcohol yet. Is there anything safe I can order? What would you do or what have you done in this situation. I want to go and have fun with the group I'm just not sure how to handle it.

I went with the sleeve. It was recommended over RNY unless you had acid reflux (which I didn't). I also think that RNY results in a quicker weight loss thanks to malabsorption. The pluses of the sleeve are: 1. It's less likely to stretch because the stretchy part of the stomach is removed. Since an RNY pouch is constructed from the esophagus, it can stretch. 2. My surgeon told us no alcohol or NSAID'S with an RNY for life. I'm a weekend social drinker with arthritis, so this was my primary reason for going VSG. 3. I love the simplicity of the sleeve. Once I healed, I'm basically "normal" with an itty bitty stomach. Who doesn't love that. Yes, they say that that RNY is reversible, but I've never heard of anyone doing it and why would you? 4. I have also heard that the malabsorption factor goes away down the road and your left with just the restriction of the pouch, which can stretch (at least a little). 5. Finally, remember that VSG was first developed as stage one of a DS surgery, so I suspect you could always go back to get the malabsorption part done later if needed (at least I think this is true). Btw, there is nothing I can't eat - no hint of dumping whatsoever!

Same here, I was told to go with the sleeve because I was going to be taking NSAID'S for arthritis and drinking alcohol. I was cleared for NSAID'S after one month post opt. My hospital was Newton Wellesley, the top wls hospital in Massachusetts.

thanks! I see you're not long past surgery so it's good to get a prospective from somebody who just had it. I've read other posts from those further along in their journey and they are eating fairly normally but small portions. Fine by me. I've done enough damage - time to eat properly. From what i've read 6 months seems to be a turning point. Also - I believe you can have no alcohol for 6 months - fattening anyway!

What have you been trying? I've been supposed to lose 10lbs since January but gained 10lbs instead. I have been trying everything I could think of since April and I finally think I have it right. I've lost 6lbs in 3 weeks. Here's what's working for me. Following my nutritionist's program with some adjustment: 60+gms of Protein, then veggies. I can't do the carbs, I just don't lose if I do. I'm trying to keep carbs under 50gms, all fruit and veggies. 64 ounces of fluids. No carbonation, no alcohol, no caloric drinks. 1000 calories a day or less. My program says 1200 but I just can't lose on 1200. Believe me 1000 calories is not much food. I'm hungry all the time but I just drink Water until my next meal. I can't exercise much due to my arthritis but I added a chair yoga class and an arthritis-focused water aerobics class and I'm trying to increase my average daily steps to 5000 (from 3000). Here's a day's menu: Breakfast- shake with a scoop of chocolate Designer whey and 1T PB2 (defatted Peanut Butter powder), 4 strawberries. Snack- half of a Nugo Slim Protein Bar lunch - 1oz of tofu, 1oz of almonds and cashews, half a cucumber, a few bell pepper slices Snack- 1/4 apple with 1 teaspoon almond butter dinner - Same shake as above with 1/2 a frozen banana, a green salad with homemade low cal, low carb dressing. Snack - my special treat- 1/2 of a homemade chocolate peanut butter cup made with stevia, cocoa, Protein powder, peanut butter and coconut oil. This is 115 of my calories per day but it's worth it as it keeps me from feeling deprived. Hope you can find a way too.

So, here are a few things I wish I had known before I had my surgery (I was sleeved 5/23/16): The gas...oh my goodness, the gas. It hurts, it stinks, and sometimes you can't trust a fart. Lovely. Surgery doesn't make it easier to lose weight. It actually makes it more complicated! Protein, carbs, sugar, fat...It's all scientific now. If I don't get my protein, I hold Fluid and don't lose weight. If I eat sugar, I don't lose weight. If I don't get all my Water for the day, I feel hungry, tired, and--you guessed it--I don't lose weight. I even landed in the ER getting 4 bags of fluid and a CT scan to check for complications. And my insurance got a bill for $7,000. After the one they got for $29,000 just a month previous...more on that later... Mood swings from hell will descend upon you, and you will be powerless over it at first. Now, I am learning that I tend to cry right before a stall breaks. Fat stores hormones that have to go somewhere when the fat goes...extra PMS? Yes, please! NOT. Yes ladies, your period may go completely haywire for a while. FUN... Speaking of stalls...the weight won't always come off in a predictable pattern. It may not come off as fast as you want it to. If you stick to your plan, you will lose weight, but along the way you will stall. You may not lose anything for a while, even though you're doing everything right. You will get concerned, you may think the surgery isn't working, but if you stick to your plan the weight will come off. On it's own schedule, though, not yours. The human body is incredibly complex and very good at learning how to NOT starve. Some people believe in starvation mode, some don't, but don't test it. You don't want to get sick and malnourished. You may need to exercise more and log your food to make sure you haven't slipped up, but the stall will break. Eventually... You will become acutely aware that people who know you had the surgery are watching you. Watching what you eat, when you eat it, and how much of it you eat. Watching to see if you lose weight, and if you don't lose weight FAST, everybody has an opinion about whether or not you should have had the surgery and if it will work, and you may hear horror stories about somebody's friend/sister/brother/cousin/coworker who had the surgery and gained all the weight back. Or never lost it at all. Stick to your plan, and remember why you made the decision to have surgery. Be ready to avoid toxic people as necessary. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. So be careful who you tell. If you are married, consider your spouse's feelings. Talk about it. You will need them on your side if at all possible. If they aren't, it could be problematic. Be ready to have hard conversations and make decisions based on those conversations. You may learn things about your relationship that you never knew, which can be good or bad. You will have regrets. Mostly in the beginning, but be ready to wonder what in the hell you were thinking when you had this surgery. It's hard! There is an overwhelming temptation to believe that this was supposed to be easier. It's not. It's effective, but it's a lot of work and it takes a lot of self-discipline. People may judge you and say that you took "the easy way out". See the previous paragraph. And then see the second paragraph. You may have to educate a few people. Or tell them to get lost, your choice. If you didn't already know it, you may find out that you have a serious problem with food. Get that fixed, and do it before you waste a lot of time and heartache. Go to therapy. The surgery will NOT fix your brain. I cannot stress this enough! You will find out that food is the glue that holds our lives together. We Celebrate with it, we mourn with it, we reward ourselves with it, and sometimes our social lives revolve around it. All of that has to change. Food is fuel. Period. You will not enjoy eating out for a while, if ever. The portions are RIDICULOUS, and most of it is nothing you should be eating anyway. "I'll just have a small salad..." No, you won't, not for a while. You won't be able to eat raw vegetables for a long time, and never before your doctor clears it. It's the last step. And it may be never for certain foods. BECAUSE... Your taste will change. What your stomach can tolerate will (obviously) change for a long time, and maybe forever in some aspects. You may hate what you once loved and love what you once hated. Go with it. And get over your addiction to caffeine, because that has to go, too. Not forever, but your surgeon will have an opinion about when it's okay again. If you smoke, a reputable surgeon will not do weight loss surgery on you. They will most likely test you for nicotine, so don't cheat, just quit. You won't heal as well and it's just plain bad for you. You will have no vices for a long time. Because...you can't drink alcohol either! Not for a LONG time. Just look that one up, because I quit drinking a long time ago and I don't even care about this part. Except: you may trade old addictions for new ones. You may need therapy to fix this. If food was a coping mechanism for you, you had better have a plan for new coping skills. BECAUSE... This is stressful as hell, if you hadn't figured that out. You hair may come out. Be ready. Biotin is rumored to help, but it isn't a sure thing. You will need to take Vitamins for the rest of your life. Don't be cheap and skimp on this one. You need bariatric vitamins. Deficiencies can set you back in significant ways. It's not worth it. Take your vitamins. Now. If you're still reading this, you may think I am one hell of a "Negative Nelly". Nope! I am a realist. You should be scared. You should think long and hard before you have weight loss surgery. If you even qualify for surgery, you've cleared a significant obstacle. If your insurance covers it, that's another significant obstacle out of the way. Soooo...If you have a surgeon willing to do it, and you can get insurance to pay for it (or if you can make it happen as self-pay) DO IT. If you still want to have weight loss surgery despite knowing how much it can suck, then you will probably do well. BECAUSE... IT'S WORTH IT. All of it.

Hi Demon. Wow close on the 40kg mark thats fantastic and this is really the reason we have all had the surgery and why we have to remind ourselves of during the down times. I have been on holiday for the past 3 weeks and so dont think I have lost much during that time (too much alcohol probably) but I have still lost around 33kgs so far. I find eating to be unsatisfying in general and something I do because I have too but its normally over pretty quickly. I also find myself wanting to eat every couple of hours and Im not sure thats a good thing. I have noticed I have gone off carbs abit but can eat most things in moderation. But my stomach never seems to be settled its either hungry or uncomfortable from eating. BUT I love the weight loss and I hope I never take it for granted I do wish though that I had the ability to lose the weight without surgery but that isnt my story. I also have a big wobbly stomach now as well. Sent from my SM-G900I using the BariatricPal App

You just need to quit eating sweets. That includes all "fake" sugar too. It only takes a week or two and then you're home free! Sugar is like a drug, the more you consume, the more you want it. It's highly addicting. I kicked that habit quite a while ago, along with caffeine and alcohol. Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

I have no idea what percentage actually fail, but likely the majority of the ones that are deemed failures or have significant regain are the ones that did not use the time right after surgery to relearn how to eat properly. They expected the sleeve to do all the work and all they'd have to do is "eat less" of the same foods they've always eaten. My doc said that anyone can lose weight the first year, even if the eat crap foods all the time. But when the body's metabolism adjusts over to how you eat after surgery, it will make it possible to regain easily if you're still eating high carb, high fat/sugar/sodium low quality/nutrition junk. The weight loss is not permanent unless you throw out all your eating habits and crutches and start learning how to eat proper portions, healthy, whole foods and limit bad/crappy foods to very occasional times. Junky foods should be eliminated from your meal times for the rest of your life - bread, crackers, alcohol, fast food, fried foods, high sugar/fat/sodium prepared foods... all banished to every once in a while, and only in small portions then. You can still have them, but not in the quantity or frequency you used to have. Some things might need to be eliminated completely if you have a serious addiction and you can't control yourself, or if they are a "slider food" (where you can eat a large amount of a food/drink without it being restricted by your sleeve - like crackers or ice cream). You have about 1 year or so where the portion control from the sleeve and the lack of hunger allow you control to adjust how and what you eat. It really is all about a stripping of old habits and establishing new ones. Good Proteins - fish, chicken, turkey, dairy - should be the bulk of your meal time, followed by healthy vegetables and a small portion of complex carbs if you have room (brown rice, whole wheat Pasta, beans). There are almost always healthy recipes and workarounds for most of the foods you love, and you can be happy having small portions (like 2-3 bites) instead of eating the entire thing (if that's what you used to do), but you have to commit to changing your relationship with food to make WLS work for you. Exercise is also an important part of the process, but the food relationship is the main thing to get figured out ASAP.

No alcohol. Sorry. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

My surgery is scheduled for 8/17. I stopped drinking on 7/12. My reason is I want to lose as much weight as possibly before my surgery to make it safer and I can't lose if I'm drinking. Just a fact for me. I also wanted to eliminate the inflammatory effect of alcohol on my liver.

@ I asked my surgeon this very question! I have almost tapered off drinking completely but I like to enjoy a drink now and again. I have a wedding 3 weeks pre-op, and it's open bar so I wanted to be sure ahead of time before I did anything I shouldn't! He told me that as long as I'm not doing it during my "pre-op" diet, and not doing it consistently, I should be fine. But he did say no alcohol what-so-ever during the 14 day pre-op diet. I know every surgeon is different, but that's the answer I got if it helps! Best of luck!

The point of the pre-op diet is to reduce the size of your liver to make surgery easier and less dangerous. Alcohol increases the size of your liver. The higher your BMI, the larger your liver is likely to be and the more likely it is that your liver is going to be blocking your stomach. Alcohol affects the size of your liver for *two weeks* after you drink it. That means drinking this weekend will make your liver be enlarged at the time of your surgery. So....drinking this weekend will make your surgery more difficult and dangerous.

The OP is talking about drinking alcohol BEFORE the liquid diet starts. Seems to be a bit of confusion there. If your surgeon gave you no restrictions for prior to the start of the pre-op diet, then I don't see why you couldn't drink alcohol.

I'm sure your doctor gave you the instructions. I don't know anyone's pre op diet that makes allowances for Alcohol. You may as well start taking this seriously NOW.

My doctor said no alcohol 24-48 hours before surgery.

Hi everyone need some advice! I officially start a 8 day strictly liquid pre op diet on August 3rd for surgery the 11th... Is it safe to drink alcohol this weekend before the pre op diet starts? I'm in Chicago on a little trip and my doctor never said anything about alcohol before the pre op diet starting but wanted to hear any one else's opinion on the matter. Thanks! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Lol, sorry, but it's funny to me, because my husbands grandmother is totally rude and she asked me why I wasn't drinking alcohol (she doesn't know I had surgery) and I told her because I was trying to lose weight and be healthy, and she said "oh ya, well how's that working out for ya?". I was floored. Sooo rude! I've lost like 21 lbs since she's seen me last, and your post just reminded me of her. Since I agree that most people can't tell until you've lost a huge amount of weight. At least in my experience I also have a snatchy friend who refuses to comment in a nice way about my weight loss. So I feel your pain!!!!! Just don't say shit to them anymore about your weight loss journey, and if they ask, just tell them you are on track according to your surgeon and unless they have a goddamn medical degree in Bariatric Surgery, they need to STFU and mind their own business. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G900A using the BariatricPal App

Wow, I think it's kind of unrealistic that your bariatric team provided no guidance initially on what or how to eat, then got disappointed in you for not eating the way they want you to. So I wouldn't even call it getting back on track, it's just finding a way to eat that will maximize your health and your weight loss. I'll provide my team's plan in case it might be of interest to you if you are looking for a healthier way to eat. This is for the first six months: Eat 3 meals per day, no more than 3 ounces per meal Maximum 800 calories and 60 carbs per day. Minimum 75 grams protein per day. Acceptable food to use to fit within those goals: meat, fish, eggs, dairy, beans, legumes, nuts, nut butters, protein powder, fruit, green/low carb veggies Unacceptable foods: sweets, any grains (including all forms of corn), high carb veggies such as potatoes, sweet potatoes, and peas; soup, alcohol No snacks other than protein shakes and non-caloric liquids At 6 months out, if not at goal, increase calories to 1000. Meals may be up to 5 ounces. Carbs may be bumped up to 75 grams. Okay to have one serving of grains or sweets weekly if it fits in your daily nutrient goals. No drinking with meals or for 30 minutes after All food must be weighed (preferable) or measured and tracked via MyFitnessPal or similar food diary. Aim for 30 minutes of exercise daily but do not log or "eat back" exercise calories unless you do more than 30 minutes exercise. Log/eat back no more than 50% of calories burned for those minutes over 30. Good luck!

I agree with other posters here and encourage you to get professional support. There are also treatment plans available that work differently than AA if that doesn't work for you. Not knocking AA because it has saved untold numbers of lives. It just doesn't work for everyone. I found out about the Sinclair program through some sci fi circles I run in, and like to pass this along to anyone struggling with alcohol. http://www.onelittlepillmovie.com/about.html Good luck, and please get some professional support with this.

Get PROFESSIONAL Help! In support group I met a woman who started drinking wine and became an alcoholic. She lost her husband and children in 2 years of this addiction and decided to attend AA Meetings to reestablish a relationship with her children. In the AA Meetings she polled the people and found out 15 in the group had WLS. 1 DIED a slow miserable death. So her warning to us was NEVER drink, it can cost you everything. Sent from my SM-G530T1 using the BariatricPal App