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My honest opinion? If you're letting her stick around, and you're supporting her, if she's not blood, or wearing your ring, she's out regardless. So you're not together, she knows this, what if she brings another man over? You gonna handle that well? What if you have the chance to hook up with someone, and you tell them "oh my ex lives with me still" boom she'll be gone faster than the road runner man. Plus, the wonderful common law marriage laws and community property laws. Not sure what state you're in but in Texas, she'd have rights to everything in your house and nothing you can do but take her to court. You said she's done nothing wrong, but then you say you can't stop revisiting the past and her "habits" etc. I'll tell you from experience in law enforcement, if her habit is alcohol and drugs, and your little boy is around that, and Mom is a clean person and finds out about it, you'll have more trouble on your hands than it's worth to keep her around.

I don't know if you read my post last week. After my go around with Kaiser.I not sure what do. For days I have been myself to just forget the whole thing just try again on own. Now I am starting to get my fight back on.. I am not sure which way to go, fight the under 40 BMI with my HP,HC fatty liver, or gain some weight plus put weights in clothes. What do you think is the best route? NIH Requirements for Weight Loss Surgery The National Institutes of Health (NIH), a division of the US Department of Health and Human Services, is considered one of the world's foremost medical research centers. The NIH has set patient criteria for weight loss surgery which states that eligible patients should have a BMI of 40 or higher (morbidly obese) or a BMI of at least 35 with co-morbidities (obesity related health conditions) such as diabetes, sleep apnea, heart disease, high cholesterol, or hypertension (high blood pressure) and non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. Eligible patients must also have attempted and failed at previous weight loss efforts and need to pass a psychiatric evaluation to be recommended for weight loss surgery.

I’m able to tolerate most things. I never loved eggs and I like them even less now. I can’t eat very much pork (too dense and fills me up very quickly). I’m ok with some sugar in foods, but sweet alcohol contain drinks will make me dump.

I was told I could not have alcohol for the first year. Was anyone else told this? Can we have it in moderation? I'm really not a big drinker. I can go months without having a drink so I wasn't too upset about not having any alcohol for the first year. However, holidays are coming up in the next few months. Can I have a drink or two?

On this site, I have noticed that surgeons reccomendations vary widely. Personally, my surgeon said no alcohol for at least 1 month. I waited almost 2. Since then, I have had wine and harder alcohol (no mixers) and the occasional beer. Beer is tougher for me, because the carbonation. I go regularly (monthly) to my doctor/nutritionist and let them know what I'm eating/drinking. They say its fine as long as it doesn't bother me and they remind me to be mindfull of the calories. Bottom line - listen to your doctor !

What you're experiencing is very normal. Including the ***-sitting husband! LOL Your body has gone through a traumatic experience and needs time to heal. It is definitely hard to eat enough right now. You're probably on a liquid-only diet right now, so just try to have whatever you can. Broths, SF Jell-O, and Water. Sip your water whenever possible. sleep if your body tells you it needs sleep. Now is the time to rest and recuperate. Tell your husband to get you something if you need him to. But don't forget that you need to walk, so sometimes getting yourself something is good (as long as it doesn't mean lifting or doing anything you're not supposed to do). Walking will help with the tummy sounds, etc., too. When your dr says you can have Protein, add some high protein/low-or-no sugar shakes - maybe start off with some that are already made since they should be very smooth. If necessary, water them down (or add skim milk). It will take time to work up to the amounts you are "supposed" to have. Just remember, as you progress, to do it slowly and don't add anything that doesn't assist your being healthy (NO candies even when/if the dr says you can have them in moderation, and don't drink alcohol except once in a blue moon and very little of it). Take it from someone who regained 76 lbs and has been struggling to get down below the almost 50 lbs she finally lost!!! (As for the alcohol, that's because even many drs don't know the latest research on WLS and drinking. It turns out that RNYers get high quickly, may feel like it went through us quickly, but the effects and blood alcohol levels stay longer - plus we tend to become addicted to it very easily. Don't risk cross addiction.) End of "lecture." LOL Good luck! ♥

Six months post WLS and you've been put in a position to fail. Not by your doing but by an inconsiderate person. You have only ONE CHANCE to do it right. Only one. You need to give it your best shot and not have an inconsiderate person sabotage your path to better health. I once again bring up the comparison to being an alcoholic . Would you allow anyone to hinder your recovery from alcohol by letting them bring it into your home? NO, so why allow him to sabotage your recovery from poor health and obesity by allowing him to bring in junk food? The choice here is very simple, for you to succeed with weight loss and getting back to good health he cannot be a part of your every day lifestyle. Get rid of the food or pack it up and drop it off to the place he is going to but you need to get it out of your home. Remember you are only six months out and you've already gained weight. I'm out four years and I will tell you it gets harder NOT easier to lose and maintain the weight loss. Your in the best position of your life to lose the weight. Don't let Mr. inconsiderate ruin it for you. Despite what you might hear, insurance companies will not pay for a do over. Make the best of this golden opportunity.

Also getting banded Jan 3rd! Today is day 5 of the pre-op diet, and its just now starting to get easier. It's been hard having to go to holiday parties and be surrounded by food and not be able to eat any of it (yesterday there were bagels and lox on my dining table, a huge test of my willpower to not eat any!). I'm excited to ring in the new year (sans alcohol, unfortunately) knowing that the year will be filled with weight-loss accomplishments. Good luck to the rest of the January bandsters, and happy holidays!

I'm almost 6 months out from RNY and literally so happy I made this decision. I'm 25 and my parents had said the same thing. They love me but elective surgery is a scary thing for a parent to support for their child. When I told the chances of me losing in my own and keeping it off after a lifting of obesity they were still skeptical. Now my parents are 100% supportive The drinking part or not drinking part is hard socially. My friend had the surgery and drank about 8 months out, she just gets completely **** faced after one glass of wine and her drink choices changed. It's suppose to be one year with out alcohol, if you can't do that you might want to think about your life. It's weird socially eating out / drinking at first but you'll fall into a routine Seminar 12/27/16: wt 304 Surgery 3/23: wt 287 3 months post op : 236

I've never had problems with this, although I know some people do. I wonder if part of it might be due to too many carbs or sugar alcohols - I know the latter, at least, are tough on some people's GI tracts.

That's my guess too. Shrimp is easy for even good restaurants to treat too casually and not keep it cool enough, etc. Wine stopped agreeing with me before surgery, but prosecco/champagne was fine, and so was my favorite; single malt scotch. I stayed away from all alcohol for a good year, then let myself calculate it into my food plan once in a blue moon. Amounts to maybe once every three or four months, and then only an ounce of scotch or 3 ounces wine. I count the calories as carbs, otherwise it doesn't really work on the macro counting I do on MFP. Anyway, just to say, a bit of the good stuff sits just fine, and once in a while hasn't bothered me in that way. Lets hope it was just a fluke of tummy trouble! Ick...ouch!

Well I never though I'd say this.........but I'm actually going in for my 4th WLS surgery / procedure this week [emoji15], I'm 3 days away from it on the 21st of July 2017 [emoji106][emoji4] My weight loss journey so far....back in 2004 I weighed 136kg / 300 pounds and am 182cm / 6ft. My GP in the UK wouldn't approve SAGB on the NHS so I self funded the operation at a hospital in the South of France. Operation went well, weight loss was good, got down to 90kg / 198 pounds. However, gradually I had more and more complications with the band, slippage and erosion. Weight went up to 116kg / 255 pounds. No matter how much fluids were put in or removed from my band, my restriction was either that tight I couldn't get water down or too loose so I could eat whatever I liked. I also developed reflux and experienced frequent vomiting. I had a revision from band to sleeve in the same operation in Australia 3 years ago (2014) got down to 84kg / 144 pounds with the sleeve. My sleeve stretched over a couple of years, partly due to the poor shape of the sleeve due to the damage done by the band (after my operation my surgeon said to me that my stomach was in such bad condition it looked looked "like a dogs breakfast in there!!") and if I'm honest partly due to me falling off the wagon, eating too much junk food and drinking a serious amount of alcohol, so my weight crept back up to 103kg / 227 pound. So anyway I finally stumped up the courage to go for the full gastric bypass 1 year ago at a weight of 103kg / 227 pound. Weight loss was great, felt full quickly, no major dumping, no complications / side effects. Got down to 80kg / 176 pound then recently crept back up to 93kg / 205 pound, so now I'm having the Overstitch this week, which I hope will be my final weight loss operation ever this Friday! In hindsight I wish I'd never had the band and sleeve and gone straight for the bypass all those years ago, but still grateful for the overall weight loss to date. I must have been quite lucky with the operations, I had no infections, significant pain or gas pain, I was waking around the ward on day of the bypass, got 1.5ltr of fluids down me same day and after the TT I was doing laps of the ward on day 2! Only real issue is I've become severely anaemic this week. I'm on iron tablets and Vit B12 injects. Now when I was in the mid-80kgs I had a fair bit of excess skin and I think the weight loss and the natural getting older process had made me look older than my years, so I went in for some plastic surgery to get my self sorted out. I had upper and lower blepharoplasty (reduction of loose skin above and below my eyes, liposuction to my neck, 2 separate neck lifts (first one unsatisfactory), liposuction to remaining man boobs, stomach, hips and back. Full abdominoplasty with new belly button. Oh and a complimentary mid-face lift whilst the surgeon was in doing my lower eyes, I actually didn't ask for the mid face lift but my surgeon couldn't resist doing it once he had perfect access to the areas / structures required to hitch up the face a little. I woke up to the unexpected news about the face lift and was thrilled with the results and even happier that is was for free!! I also had a fat transfer, where they sucked some fat out of my abdominal area and had it pumped in the jowls / cheeks / nasolabial folds to fill out my face a little!!! Now I just have a little Botox and some dermal fillers as maintenance to the face. Also had a vampire facelift lol. And OMG for those of you who have had full tummy tucks, as in skin and muscles, jeez how painful is the recovery from that bad boy!! Worst of all the WLS surgeries I've had and the other cosmetic procedure. You can't sit up, you can't laugh, sneeze, burp, fart, go for number 2's, well that was my experience with the TT recovery although I recovered very well form all of the procedures with no issues at all, thank-fully [emoji106] The Tummy Tuck for me is what makes me want to stay at around 80kg, any heavier and I feel the skin on my belly stretching because of the tightened skin. I gets quite uncomfortable so I have to get it oI don't want to ruin the effects of the surgery. All in all the procedure took 3 seperate operations they were 11 hours, 5 hours and 9 hours in duration. After the 11 hour operation I ended up in ICU on a cardiac monitor with a special one to one nurse as I was at risk of an adverse cardiac even due to excessive fluid loss. The three cosmetic operations cost me over $70k. Anyway, that's my story in its entirety, I thought I'd share this information with you as I have had so much done and gone through so many procedures, so please feel free to comment and ask me any questions. Thanks John [emoji4][emoji106] PS: No judgement please lol

You are smart to correct your wine habit now, pre-surgery. This is a hard journey. The best I've ever undertaken. But it's hard. And there is cross-addiction susceptibility among our community. And drinking post-wls can be terrible for our bodies and also contribute to regain.Even thought it will delay surgery, it will benefit you in the long run. Praying you can find a group that works for you. I don't think alcoholics can "cut back." I think there's too much back sliding. Do one thing at a time. Take care of the booze problem first. Then clean house and fill it with nourishing food. And start addressing binge eating/night eating. Maybe even seek personal counseling for substance abuse and disordered eating.

Yep, next thing you know, BBK, you will be featured in one of those "can't hold their alcohol" emails!!!! Has anyone mentioned seeing you snoozing? My former BIL passed out one year at Christmas, and we decorated him.....hung ornaments on him, icicles, put his MIL's curly toed elf slippers on him.....and then we just waited.....and oh yeah---took LOTS of pictures!!!! Kat

So My Pre Op Appointment is only a couple of weeks away and I have been winging myself off of certain foods and drinks. I quit soda, alcohol, and now just stopped drinking coffee and that's a big one for me. I am trying to stay focused but some days I just want something sweet and don't know how to fight the craving. I was just wondering how you all fight the craving and stay on track or what substitutes you use? Need some motivation and support, please share.

I can actually get down on the floor now and GET UP BY MYSELF! This is still quite amazing to me. There is a ton of information about WFPB eating online. Go to You Tube and watch "The Game Changers" and "Forks over Knives." That will give you a good idea. Basically it is WHOLE, unprocessed food. That means food as close to its natural state as possible. Whole grains, not refined grains, for example. No processed sugars, no animal products (that includes dairy and eggs), no processed oils (you use avocados, nuts and seeds and nut butters instead.) LOTS and LOTS of veggies and fruit, plenty of starchy veggies, lots of legumes, whole grains, nuts and seeds, no alcohol, no soda or artificial colors/flavors/chemicals, decreased salt. Many WFPB folks also avoid gluten (wheat, rye, barley) and I am highly sensitive to it, so have already avoided that for years. I get more than enough protein, tons of fibers and phytonutrients, eat all I want, am never hungry, have tons of energy, and am NEVER sore after workouts. Amazingly, my cholesterol always hovered around 225-235, even after losing over 100 pounds. Once I went WFPB, my cholesterol dropped like a rock to 152 (80 points!!!). My triglycerides and LDL also plummeted. Even with the low total cholesterol, my HDL went up to 80. For me, it is a lifestyle that I will maintain for life. It is change, for sure, but not actually hard to do. Most of my family is making the switch as well. You don't have to go 100%, either. When you look at the areas of the world (the blue zones) where people live to be over 100 and have virtually no cardiac disease, osteoporosis, dementia, cancer, or diabetes, these are all plant based societies. Does this mean they won't eat some fish or cassowary eggs if they find them? No. But animal protein is the exception or reserved for celebrations. They don't eat meat 3 times a day like most of the western world does. I will occasionally eat an egg (my own backyard chickens) or a little wild game meat. (The more I learn about commercially raised cattle, hogs, chickens, turkeys and dairy cows, the more I cannot bring myself to eat these products.) So there you go - probably more info than you wanted. I started this about 6 months after my surgery as I learned about it and once I was able to eat the volume that is required. I had to rely a bit more on the grains and nuts to keep my calories up so I wouldn't keep losing weight. I used pea protein powder as needed to keep my protein up. I don't need that now, with the increased legumes, tofu, tempeh, and soy/oat milk and yogurt. Now I eat a lot more of the veggies and legumes, and control my weight very easily with decreasing/increasing the grains and nuts. I did gain 8 pounds of COVID weight, but have lost all of it and some extra, just by cutting back a bit on the nuts and grains. It really couldn't be easier!

I say no time like the present to start adjusting your mindset for social situations...choose something else to drink that is non-caloric...will prove to yourself that you can do it, and post-op you will have to get comfortable with how you navigate both eating and drinking in social situations...if it is helpful, imagine yourself pregnant...you wouldn't feel "pressured" to drink alcohol with everyone else because you would know that isn't a healthy choice...or if you were on medication that couldn't beiges with alcohol...you wouldn't take a drink then, right?

My surgery is different then yours (Loop DS), but I have occasional issues with that when I have too much sugar alcohol or artificial sweetner. I try and stick to Stevia since I tolerate is without issue, but most sugar free things have sugar alcohol or an artificial sweetner in it so... it's a struggle. Anyway, I hope you can figure out what's triggering your own issue!

I am in the same boat, the holidays have always been my favorite due almost exclusively to the over indulgence of treats, this year has actually felt a little less festive without the constant baking and snacking BUT I have prepared my family for the low fat and sugar free menu including greek yogurt and fresh fruit parfaits, alcohol free mojitos (crystal light!!) and sugar free coffee cake for the grand reveal (dinner is grilled chicken skewers, butternut squash soup, quinoa stuffing and broccoli with unjury protein cheese sauce!)

This was sent to me in a private message by one of our members who wanted to stay anonymous but thought the information might be useful to other BariatricPal members: "Alex, I realized my drinking was getting excessive. Particularly when I woke up with my hands shaking. It was quickly going from drinking after working out, to wanting to take nips to quiet the nerves during the day. There are two schools of thought out there when it comes to alcohol - the AA/total abstention model and Harm Reduction model. In my typical fashion, I started researching it and realized that sudden withdrawal could be very dangerous. Just stopping drinking if you have been doing for an extended period of time can create bad withdrawal symptoms, the worst being known as Delirium Tremors (DT's), but it also can spike your blood pressure, elevate heart rate, night sweats. If I went into a medically supervised system, my options all involved sudden withdrawal with benzos and other anti-anxiety drugs. And at the same time you risk loss of professional licences, reputation, gun rights etc. Not a great solution to a problem. And it is a problem. Not only is it stalling my weight loss, but if I was in a accident, the hospital is not going to bring you a bourbon as medicine, instead you get to go through DT's. So I didn't want to risk being dependent on alcohol, the dangers are too great. Then I found these articles: http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0022994 https://hamsnetwork.wordpress.com/2010/10/09/more-on-tapering-off-alcohol/ One of the benefits of controlled tapering of alcohol is avoiding a syndrome called "kindling." Some people who have repeatedly gone through cold turkey withdrawal without tapering off become more and more likely to have bad withdrawals from even small amounts of alcohol. This phenomenon is referred to as "kindling". People who have undergone kindling can suffer withdrawal seizures from drinking as little as a six pack of beer. Some decades ago some detox facilities forced clients to undergo cold turkey withdrawal to "teach them a lesson". Not only did this fail to stop people from drinking, it resulted in many people suffering from kindling. I used this system over three days and the result was a controlled landing. I've now been able to go through the last week alcohol-free without really bad withdrawals. Can't say it wasn't without discomfort. It did goof with my sleep and I have been agitated and muscles are a little sore, but it was bearable. Used a portable breathalyzer to monitor my BAC and home blood pressure monitor to make sure nothing spiked. My goal is to stay alcohol-free for the next month and re-evaluate. I need to re-learn my relationship with drinking, and make sure I bring my BAC down to 0 between drinks so I don't get back to that level again and make sure it is not an everyday activity. But that is my goal, not a recommendation."

Have you ever been to an AA meeting or are you worried that showing up will risk your reputation? I would suggest at least trying it once. It may help you to talk about your struggles as you go through your transition into sobriety. Don't be afraid that they will judge your weaning process. It's not something you have to share. Sometimes it helps to take what you find useful and leave the rest. I've always found group settings to be more useful than talking to a therapist. Cognitive Behavioral therapy is also useful for people recovering from any addiction (food, alcohol, illegal substances) because you learn preventive strategies. You need to have a plan in action in case severe stress, anxiety, or depression arises and it becomes terribly challenging to turn away from alcohol.

My Doc's office is very conservative when it comes to pre-op preparations. I began the journey in February 2011 - did not have my consultation until September 2. Pre-op consisted of 6 weeks of informational seminars - Chest XRay - a MONSTROUS blood work up (I had hepititis at age 8 - the blood work they took then was NOTHING compared to the draw they took here!!) - Psych consult - letter from my personal physician - sleep study - EKG - Mammogram - Pap Smear - Colonoscopy - multiple visits with nutritionist and 6 MONTHS of negative testing for nicotine, alcohol and drugs. I was left with the impression that they were going to determine pre-surgery whether you had the stamina to actually stick with it and how determined you are go succeed in the process. When the consultation appointment arrived, though, then things have moved along quite quickly. Began 2-week mandatory liquid Protein diet on 9/6 and am scheduled for surgery on 9/20. Only FOUR days and my journey truly begins! Good luck with your surgery!!

I have a question about alcohol how long should you stop drinking before surgery Sent from my N9560 using BariatricPal mobile app

By drinking, I mean alcohol. Don't stop general drinking hahaha ????

Typically want to avoid alcohol prior to surgery. For one you are attempting to shrink your liver, making it process alcohol, is making it work harder. Alcohol also dehydrates you which is exactly the opposite of what you want to be doing. Even just a glass.. its best to avoid.