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Too dramatic and shallow? HECK NO! You are physically just now recovering from major surgery, and all its psychological complications, just to be dealt a punch in the gut from your husband. I can’t even imagine what I’d feel if my spouse said something like this but I’m sure I would have a similar reaction. It’s going to be really hard to do this for yourself when, in your heart, you were also considering your husband’s input. But you have to try to put yourself into the picture. Your health, your body, your mind….YOURS. At the same time, you need to work this out with your hubs. Maybe some counseling to reconcile and understand the differences in both of your feelings. This may be a sort of a reset on your relationship. Once you come to grips on that reset it will help you to focus on to yourself a bit more. You also need to give yourself a break and maybe take a short breather while you mentally sort all of this out. Take it one step at a time and do the best you can as you work through the issues. I wish you all the best, and will say a prayer for you and your husband.

Hi Maggie - its so very nice to have you join us here. Of course you are feeling a sense of loss; we have had a long standing relationship with food and food was reliable and available if we wanted it, despite it ultimately making us so very miserable. You are grieving the loss of a deep and complicated relationship. Let it go - its a bad relationship and your surgery will support a much healthier union between you and food. I had my surgery on 1st June, having completed a two week liquid diet. Its hard - there is no getting away from it. You are going to have to dig really deep honey; its only 2 weeks and you will soon be there. You can do it - believe you got this. Dear Carla - try not to spend too much time worrying about the weight you are not losing at this stage. Maybe follow the advice your medical team has given you without your own modifications and see what happens honey. Relax beautiful girl - don't stress at this early stage xx For all of you who have surgery tomorrow, I am so with you in spirit and prayers. Can't wait to see you on the other side - 🤗

I first considered bariatric surgery about 15 years before I actually went through with it. I considered it off and on at various times in my life, but kept deciding against it, until 3 years ago when I couldn't keep living the way I was and realized that I had to do something drastic. Like you, I spent a lot of time worrying about the worst case scenario and I specifically sought out stories of people who have regretted having bariatric surgery. These are hard to find! Bariatric surgery is very common and safe nowadays and serious complications are rare. Of course, that's not much comfort when you are one of the unlucky few, but even when I found people who had horrible complications, most of them still said they would do it all over again. I think the main reason you don't find a lot of bariatric surgery veterans on this forum or other WLS communities is that the first year or so is really rough and requires a lot of lifestyle changes and attention, but eventually, you get used to the changes and find a new normal (plus, most people can gradually return to a relatively "normal" diet) and get to a point where your life no longer revolves around your surgery. One of the biggest factors that made me hesitant about getting the surgery was that I didn't want my life to be ruled by my pouch. But I got to a point where my life was severely limited by my weight, so I took the plunge and had the surgery. I've lost 200 pounds and the world has really opened up to me. I'm 3 years out and have completely changed my diet and lifestyle, but I can eat a "normal" portion (not as much as when I was 300+ pounds, of course, but I'm not limited to half a cup of food anymore). I can drink water as much and as quickly as I ever could before surgery. I haven't told anyone, even my family, that I got surgery. Like a lot of people I wish that I had lost weight earlier because my weight was holding me back in so many ways, but it was probably a good thing that I wanted until I was really ready to change my lifestyle before I had the surgery. There are people who gain back all the weight, and I suspect that this is because they rely on the surgery alone for weight loss, and once the effects wear off, they are able to go back to their old eating habits and regain the weight. I do not experience dumping and I have only had one day of vomiting since my surgery. I kind of wish I would get dumping syndrome because it would be a good deterrent to eating things I shouldn't. If I eat something with too much fat and/or sugar (e.g., a slice of cake), I get super sleepy and feel like garbage for the rest of the day. I actually have had a serious complication, not directly from the surgery, but from the rapid weight loss, and that is bradycardia which required me to get a pacemaker. That's a bummer, but I'm sure my overall health is better off now than it would have been without the surgery.

I think doubts are normal, especially if we start focusing on all the possible complications. This is major surgery, it's a big deal, and we really shouldn't go into it lightly. Just remember, pretty much all the complications can be treated if caught in time. Though I have developed a couple of little complications myself, I have absolutely no regrets! I am no longer diabetic. My cholesterol is back to normal. My blood pressure is normal. I'm in the "overweight" category now. I can buy clothes off the rack, no special sizing needed. I have more energy. I'm developing a healthier relationship with food. I wouldn't change a thing.

Fear is a natural response about something you have no experience with. What specifically do you fear? The surgery? The possible side effects? The change of diet? … Speak with your surgeon about your fear. Yes, they may offer you something to calm you before the surgery. They can also give you information about the surgery, what to expect, etc. to help ease your worries. The surgery itself has a low complication rate - lower than an appendectomy I believe & certainly lower than surgeries needed because of obesity related disease & illness. Side effects are low too. Many seek the help & support of a therapist to work through issues related to their obesity, relationship with food, etc. They can help you work through your fears too. I live alone & had no issues when I came home from hospital. I also thought of getting a step for your dog to use. Though you may need to be careful they don’t put pressure on your abdomen for a while. But you won’t be endlessly lying in bed for days. I rested on my couch having little naps & sitting in a chair in between pottering about the house, going for a few short walks in each day, getting my meds, drinks, etc. I do hope you decide to have the surgery but as @catwoman7 said you have to be mentally ready for all of what’s ahead. All the best.

@K- they will absolutely fix the hernia as I understand it, as it is a contributor to the GERD. Interesting (well, maybe not for you) that it exacerbates the asthma. I never had any stomach problems- zero, nada, zilch- until a couple years ago, doing a long drive back from the far west, slamming coffee, eating PayDay candy bars (couldn't imagine eating one of those now) and had a burning sensation in my stomach (no mystery). I started eating Advils like crazy (also not good for stomach lining). That's what started this journey--and my GP said let's do a endoscopy/colonoscopy which resulted in the finding of Barrett's and got me on the PPIs- those in turn led to complications. I was looking for a way out of this vicious circle- since the PPIs in turn led to SIBO, which was horrible. Of course, the weight loss isn't to be discounted as a factor. Truth be told, during Covid, I quit going to the gym, was sitting on my ass and eating lots of delivery food which, all told, probably added 50 lbs. It's strange, the different paths that take us to the same point. Funny thing is, my wife was going stir crazy and I was happy as a pig in _____. I do expect that achieving and maintaining weight loss will allow me better overall health. I'm also looking forward to increased mobility without shortness of breath (I do have mild COPD but I had that for a long time and it only manifest itself if I worked out too hard and got lightheaded). I also had the hernia for a long time but it wasn't an issue until I gained all the weight.

^^^^THIS^^^^ ^^^^AND THIS^^^^ Please don't let fear keep you from doing one of the best things you can do for yourself, now. I wasted years telling myself I can get the weight off myself. Till I couldn't. Struggling and dieting over and over and over.... Interestingly enough, I had this convo with an overweight gal in my bariatric office. My first visit. She took me to the room and got my stats. We started chatting and she said she was considering getting surgery too but thought she was young enough to put it off and get it when she's older. I encouraged her not to wait till she had a list of meds and comorbidities like I have. I do kind of regret posting here about a few of my "fixable" moments with foamies etc because the last thing I want to do is scare anyone off from a lifesaving surgery. There are a few legit complications people have shared but they are few and far between. New studies show WLS compared to having gallbladder surgery risk wise, which is low. TBH I would be more afraid of doing nothing. Good luck OP and if need be have the hospital give you some calming meds, day of, to keep you from bolting pre surgery. You can do it!!!!

not all surgeons require a pre-op diet, so consider yourself lucky. Most of us find the pre-op diet the worst part of the whole ordeal, I was relieved the morning that I was rolled in to surgery that the stupid thing was finally OVER!! I think you're worrying needlessly about the surgery. Major complications are very rare - and minor ones, while also not that common, are "fixable". But then again, if you're not mentally ready for it, then there's that... Being nervous before a big surgery is totally normal, though. I've had four surgeries and have freaked out beforehand every time. But as far as my bariatric surgery goes, I'd do it again in a heart beat. I had it at age 55 and should have done it years before.

So I was pretty unlucky with the nightmare complications. Two weeks after my bypass, I needed emergency surgery because internal adhesions caused a complete blockage. Two days after that surgery, I was getting my second emergency surgery for the same issue. They also decided to place a g-tube in the bypassed part of my stomach for drainage, and I had to have that for three months. Right after that, I would experience random attacks of intense pain and we finally, finally think we figured out why (sphincter of oddi dysfunction). That being said.... ...I would do it all over again in a heart beat. At no point did I have any regrets. Yes, it sucked having to get two "bonus" surgeries, but it was a minor blip in the road. The random pain episodes sucked, but now that we know the issue, there are things I can do to prevent it from happening. Compared to how life was before my bypass, I feel SO MUCH BETTER. My blood pressure is normal, my joints don't hurt constantly, my energy levels are through the roof, I run and kayak and hike regularly... and then there's the 'vanity' aspects too - every store carries my size, I love shopping for clothes because they look good on me now, I'm not hyper-aware of my size constantly... the list goes on. I really did not release how miserable I was being obese until I wasn't. It's surgery! I don't think it's right for everyone, and I think people should be aware of the potential for complications... but those complications are pretty rare, and it's still the gold standard for long term weight loss.

Hi All! I’m a 58 year old female . My bypass is scheduled this month, and I’m beyond petrified. I’ve cancelled my surgery 3 times in the past 15 years ( mostly because my mom always scared me out of doing it)… I’ve since lost her and I feel I can no longer carry all this weight. I have so much inflammation / pain everywhere in my body ( ie joints) … But my surgeon does not require weight loss beforehand or at least the liver shrinking diet pre-op ( and I planned on starting it this week on my own, but didn’t! ! I don’t trust myself to be able to do what it takes to be successful ! I don’t feel I have the support to go through with it ! I’m afraid of rerouting my digestive system! Of complications! The bariatric center in my area is “ going thru changes” ( doctors words) … there is no support group… But I have back pain and I need to go to work everyday! …. I have this small window of time to recover as I have help to cover for me . But I am SCARED! I change my mind all the time! ( I haven’t told the doctor just in case on that day I feel I can go through with it! I know! I know! It’s crazy and I’m driving MYSELF crazy!

Hair loss is temporary, and foamies can be controlled by being mindful of what/how you eat. Neither are terrible "complications" when it comes to the benefits of WLS vs staying morbidly obese and suffering much worse health issues down that road. Post surgery, I've been very prone to developing stomach ulcers which are 100% no fun at all, but can be controlled by Pantoprazole which I was taking pre-surgery for GERD anyway. I consider that a post-surgery complication, but it's no disaster, and like Summerseeker said - I'd do this all again in a heartbeat because even with the constant ulcer threat, my life and health now is so much better. I also went in armed with as much knowledge as possible about what might go wrong and what to honestly expect and I was still so ready because living the way I was had me on a downhill trajectory. I was FAR more concerned with the complications that lay ahead of me if I didn't have the surgery.

I’ve been trying to do my home work on WLS and my first appointment is Monday I’m 5-7 like 263 I’m reading a lot of complications post op losing hair, nausea throwing up foam !? I’m questioning if it’s worth it ? I want to be healthy but I don’t want to mess my insides up ? Please advise

Dr. Laura Carmina Cardenas in Tijuana has done a lot of plastic surgery for massive weight loss patients (in fact, she's a bariatric patient herself and she specializes in plastic surgery for bariatric patients). Dr. Francisco Sauceda in Monterrey also specializes in massive weight loss patients and has done many of us WLS patients. there used to be a nationally-known plastic surgeon in San Antonio who specialized in WLS patients, too, but he retired a year or two ago. there are lots of plastic surgeons in Miami and it's one of the cheaper areas in the country to have it done, but I don't know any names. There are people on here who've had their surgeries done there, though, so they may respond. Just be sure to go with someone who either specializes in massive weight loss patients or, at minimum, has at least done a boatload of them. It's a complicated surgery, so you want someone who's had a lot of experience with it.

Well, from my experience can say that such a journey as a college student can be complicated but still possible. It all depends on different factors, but in my case for me, it was a little bit hard to focus on the educational process because I was busy with recovery. But I managed to combine it, and with help, it's all possible. I started using different educational resources and services, for example https://edubirdie.com/chemistry-help helped me out a lot with my chemistry task, and I managed to finish everything on time. Of course, my professors were understandable to me; huge thanks for that. And I wish everyone luck, and it all will be fine!

CarolineLittle Yep constipation was awful finally semi normal bm yesterday. What a relief! I can drink more water just afraid of stretching my pouch. I am at a stall too, gained 2 lbs. not walking as much as I should. Only 1 mile. See doctor tomorrow hope the drains come out. Anyone else have drains? I had some complications and think that may be why I have them. Also hope doctor moves me to soft food stage

@Mrs Roz I am so sorry my friend, you too are in the one percent who have to struggle with immense pain before seeing the light at at the end of the tunnel. It feels hopeless now, but it has to get better for both of us. We both took it upon ourselves to say something isn’t right even when the doctor said otherwise. By saving our own lives we are voicing that this procedure has more risk than they ever let on. I will keep you in my thoughts as you continue to have more surgery’s as I too just had two emergency surgeries due to complications. Hang in there my friend.

I am so sorry. To feel so bad without answers is disheartening and scary. I can imagine the fusing of your stomach sleeve and gall bladder could cause severe constriction and complications. It sounds like your gall bladder surgery was recent. Your body is still healing from the repeated surgical assaults over the past six months and your sleeve needs "rest and relaxation" from being stretched and contorted from the stress and contortion of being stretched by the gall bladder fusion. Be gentle with yourself. I hope things start improving for you. Please keep us posted on your progress. **Hugs**

This surgey was not something I took lightly. I prayed about it and prepared for 8 months before I got the call for Dec 19, 2022. I made this decision purely for my health as I’m sure most of you did as well. I was starting to have heart problems and my knees would hurt as I walked down the stairs. I was told it would be life changing and when it came to the weight loss it has been, but the complications that have bombarded me has me questioning if it was worth it. I don’t want to scare anyone off, because ninety-nine percent get through their gastric sleeve and adapt after the initial healing, but I have always been the one percent. You see I was the one percent with my pain management as well because I took steroid shots to my back after giving birth to my daughter. This went on for 10 years and then I developed adrenal insufficiency because my body became dependent on the hormone. It could no longer produce its own cortisol so I was then on the precipice of dying if I didn’t start a steroid regimen immediately among my diagnosis. I literally was down to that one percent of cortisol in my body. For five years I suffered unimaginable low energy, adrenal crisis when my body was to stressed, countless hospital visits and of course massive weight gain from cushions disease. I thought nothing would ever be as bad as that time in my life when I finally recovered after those five years and stopped my steroids. But the damage was done and I was severely obese at my heaviest of 270 and on top of that my thyroid suffered in the process so I could never get the weight off. Thats what led me to the only solution my doctor had and the realization that their are things worse than Addisons disease, at least for me. Since my surgery I have not been able to keep any food down. I have had to be admitted to the hospital for days on end where I would go back to the liquid diets. A few weeks ago I had a little tuna and my body rejected it with a fury sending me to the hospital for five days where I had two emergency surgeries. The doctor couldn’t believe what he was seeing on my mri. Somehow so much scar tissue has devolved that it was causing my sleeve to be pulled by my gallbladder and they were attached so we thought that was the reason I couldn’t keep any food down. After I came out of that surgery I felt relief and I wanted to cry because another thing I forgot to mention is that I had been nauseous 24/7 since my sleeve surgery, but for those five hours after waking up from the anesthesia and pain meds I felt normal. The nausea was gone. But the next day it was back with a vengeance and more imaging found that my gallbladder was infected and had to come out immediately. So under I went for the 3rd time in 6 months reentering the same wounds that still hadn’t healed. And again for a while I wanted to cry out that it’s a miracle, it’s all better, but as soon as all the meds wore off I was right back were I started. I also had to have a drain put in because their had been blood pooling around my sleeve since the first surgery. All they could do was prescribe me 3 medications to control the vomiting. I lost 7 pounds during that hospital stay. When I got home after being on a liquid diet for a few more days I slowly eased into the soft foods, but to this day after every meal or healthy snack I make my way to that porcelain hell were I retch until the nausea calms. I then take my nausea medications and Valium to relax my stomach muscles. It usually takes about three hours and then I do it all again because I’m only eating twice a day to avoid being sick morning, noon, and night. The only thing that has changed is the constant nausea, it’s now only after I eat something. I’m literally living off of soft cheese and fruit, but more than a few bites and all hell breaks loose. I can tell how malnourished I am because my hair is falling out in clumps and my skin is dry. I’m drinking as much liquid as I can, but dehydration is always around the corner. My doctor says I’m loosing more weight than he anticipated so I always thought hearing those words would bring me joy, but I’m so depressed and have no energy for my family so I have to ask myself daily was it worth it? Will it get better with more time? Again, I don’t want to scare anyone because their are more good stories on here than bad. I simply want to share my story because there is no other like it and that scares me. My daughter is always asking if I could die, she did this when I was sick with addisons too? I tell her if things get better before I reach my healthy weight of 130 then I’ll be ok because right now even though i’m not getting the calories I need my body still has enough fat storage to feed off of, but at the rate I’m loosing- a pound every other day, I will be severely malnourished if it gets to that point. Most people say the surgery is a blessing, but for me it may still be, but a blessing in disguise. I have spoken with my doctor and he doesn’t have the answers. I have scoured medical journals and comment boards also with no answers. If there is anyone on here that is going through the same thing please reach out and if you prefer to talk in private my email is marsgirl22@gmail.com. I know this was truly a long post, but my journey has been just as long and I hope that my story can help someone else to get the answers that seem to allude me. Oh and just for clarification of how rapidly I am losing I started at 260 pounds two weeks before my surgery and now I am 175 pounds and counting down. Bless you all for taking the time to read my story and I sincerely hope you want hesitate to help me if you can.

I have only had one period in 6 months since my surgery, with two more follow up emergency surgeries due to sleeve complications. Anyone experience this?

I was able to hit all my hydration goals, from the first night in the hospital. I've never had any restriction when it comes to liquids. Be happy, it means that you won't get dehydrated - a major cause of complications for us.

I completely understand how you're feeling right now, just a few weeks away from your surgery. It's been a long journey for you, with research, funding, and changing options along the way. It's natural to have doubts and worries when you see others experiencing complications or when logistical challenges arise. But it's wonderful that you found a new surgeon and that you're now scheduled for surgery. Even though there have been reschedules and unexpected hurdles, it's important to stay positive and focus on the fact that you're making progress towards your goal. I can imagine the mix of excitement and disbelief you're experiencing. It can be hard to fully believe that this life-changing surgery is about to happen. However, you've gone through all the necessary steps, received clearance from different tests, and had your psych consultation. These are all significant milestones that bring you closer to your surgery date. As you navigate the challenges of balancing college classes and family responsibilities, remember that you're stronger than you think. It's not uncommon for life to throw us curveballs, but you have the determination and resilience to overcome them. Try to embrace a positive mindset and visualize waking up from surgery with your sleeve. Visualizing your desired outcome can help you feel more confident and prepared for the journey ahead. Remember, you've come a long way, and this surgery is the next step towards a healthier and happier future. Stay focused on your goals, trust in your medical team, and believe in yourself. Soon enough, you'll wake up from surgery with your sleeve, ready to embark on a new chapter in your life.

Thank you for letting me know, it is good to know that there were no complications. Good wishes and lemon flowers aromas your way!

My problem is age. I am 71 and usual cutoff age is 70. I was approved for WLS RNY due to complications from band surgery. I am not looking forward to sagging skin & boobs. Yea they sag a bit now and I hate it. So I have WLS on 5/15, figure 8-12 months to look into plastics. Instead of a mommy makeover it will be a granny makeover. Hahaha

I am 2 weeks post op. I would suggest calling your team. I had major blood pressure complications the first week, thankfully all ok now.

Welcome and good luck on your journey. When I started my journey my highest weight was 382. I knew I had to do something, I struggled all my life and it was time to fix it. I started having health complications and worked with my endocrinologist on a plan. I started to work to loose weight on my own, while I explored WLS. I managed to loose 57 pound before I got my sleeve and I’m down 65 lbs since my surgery in Aug 2022 (making my total loss 122 lbs). I get a little frustrated that I’m not loosing faster, but I’m very proud that my weight loss (despite being slower than I’d like) has been steady. Keep up the great work. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, you’ll get there in your own time!!