Search the Community

Most people dont recommend alcohol because your tolerance is low after the surgery. Three glasses is a lot of an average person. I think the main issue is that 3 glasses is going to be between 350 and 900 calories, which is most if not all of your calories for the day 10 weeks out. It also takes away from your ability to get in enough protein and water. Alchol also dehydrates you.

You have to have surgeon that's part of your team of supporters. If you don't feel like your doctor is giving you that support, or even listening to you, then you have the right to find a new one without feeling bad. And Yellowrose is right, alcohol is full of carbs and calories that will work against you for losing weight. I know there's a lot of controversy about alcohol post-banding, and it won't "hurt" you per se, but it's definitely not good for you (it's not good for you pre-band either!!). Maybe changing surgeons will help you re-focus on the plan and get back on track.

I am new to this lap-band thing...I have my first appointment with my surgeon next month..I have been on this site for almost 2weeks and have heard everything about this program, what to eat, what to do and not to do:lol:...What about alcohol, wine and beer???? Is that a no-no??????

I had surgery on Jan. 23rd, and my doctor said that alcohol is fine. I usually drink 3-4 glasses of wine per week, but I make room for the extra calories by doing extra cardio on those days.

my dr said ok to an occasional drink. i dont like beer, wine, or hard alcohol except for strawberry margaritas.mmmmmmmmmmmmm....... any hoo, keep this story in mind, i only have 1 -2 margaritas a month (or less) but i found out the hard way that the type of tequila can make a huge difference, really good Jose Cuervo tequila=no problems, cheap tequila at a mexican resturant=major reaction !(i threw up every thing!) Before being banded i had no problems with the cheap kind. Good luck !

Wait did someone say something about alcohol? I'm in! LOL...that is one of my favorite sayings...I barely had alcohol before surgery, so I'm NOT having any now...but the saying stands....

Every one is different. We are all unique. It is true that there are those that can pick themselves up from their bootstraps and resolve their issues on their own. It is also true that not all counseling is good. I have experienced that also. However, I will offer this. I would say that the large majority of us are considering WLS because we have NOT been able to do it on are own. If we could, what would we be doing here? I mean no offense, but is it reasonable for a psych to consider excessive alcohol a problem, one that could benefit from counseling? I think so. Can someone take care of it on their own? I guess so, but most do not. I have seen it time and time again. With respect to WLS, I saw first hand an acquaintance with a habit of drinking socially swap out his food addiction with drinking and become an alcoholic after surgery. If you are one of those that can deal with this on your own, more power to you. But is it reasonable for a pysch to be concerned for you and ask you to get counseling, knowing that you already have an issue with food that has caused you to seek the help of others to correct it? Absolutely!

The Big Train Chai Frappe mix is delicious, but it also has sugar alcohol in it - a real bummer on the digestive system....

I think I would say WAIT, because I am a food addict, and I would want to get in one last free for all. But....... what would you tell an alcoholic considering rehab before the holidays? The big issue is that when you do it, you have to commit, and if you know that committment isn't possible for you until after the holidays, then WAIT. I think the band works the best for those who are desperate for change, but I can't honestly say that I would have done it during the holidays :lie:. ("They're tryin' to make me go to rehab, but I say no,no,no...")

When you go, absolutely try to get the best bargain you can for goods while in port. These people EXPECT you to, so absolutely do it! One of our tour guides told us once to find out how much they want for an item, and offer HALF of that, and go from there. Different cruise lines handle tipping differently, go to your cruise line's website and read up on what they recommend doing. I do agree, though, tip your room steward on the first day, and you'll feel like absolute royalty the rest of the cruise! (not that you wouldn't otherwise, but it does make a difference) Oh, while you're in port, it's customary to tip anyone who does anything for you. Take plenty of singles with you, many times they won't offer change. This is a lesson learned the hard way by lots of people. If your cruise isn't all-inclusive, you'll need to be aware that your soft drinks, and alcoholic beverages are not included in the price of your cruise, in most cases. Your meals will be included, regardless. You'll sign for any beverages as you cruise with a "sail and sign" card (or equivalent) and pay your bill at the end of the cruise. You can pay however you'd like to for that. Take Bonine or Dramamine Non-Drowsy with you just in case. You don't want to be surprised by a bout of motion sickness. Bonine comes in chewable raspberry, which I think is preferable to Dramamine, and it's also non-drowsy. I'm a Referral Travel Agent, if you haven't guessed that, and if you have any other questions, I'd be glad to try to answer them for you! Above all, though HAVE A GREAT TIME!

Hi Lynne, I understand what you mean. When I first attended a group for teenage children of alcoholics (organized by my HS counselor), I was sure I didn't belong since they had stories of physical and sexual abuse, being evicted, police being called, houses burning down, etc. But yes, that's part of the thinking. I never put my own feelings, thoughts and needs first anyway. I like individual therapy moreso too, I think, but it is nice on occasion to get other stories. Congratulations to your husband and to you for your support of him!

Hi all, I wanted to start a support thread for Adult Children of Alcoholics. My mother is a recovering alcoholic. My maternal uncle is an alcoholic and drug addict (currently in jail awaiting sentencing for possession of drug paraphernalia), while my maternal aunt is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. My paternal grandmother, paternal grandfather and paternal step-grandfather were all alcoholics, as were my two deceased paternal uncles (both died from complications resulting from their alcoholism). And that's just the relatives that I know about. I attended Ala-Teen in high school and have attended ACoA off and on. I thought it would be nice to talk to others like me.

I told my mom because she was my ride home from the hospital. I asked her not to tell other family members except my dad. I don't think of my family as "haters" but they are definitely judgy and many are the "skinny all my life; fat people are lazy and gluttonous" types. Actually, the overweight ones are worse in that they know all the answers, they just haven't gotten around to applying them. My husband made me tell the kids and that was the right thing to do. I'm not telling any friends except 3 close ones. They have all been very supportive. I'm happy that I haven't told other friends, family or any coworkers. I just don't want to be judged or questioned about my choice. But I will share this one great conversation I had with my close friend (size 4 her whole life) about my concerns that some people would judge me that I'd taken "the easy way" out of my weight problem. Her response? "B*tch, please! You just told me that you've given up coffee, alcohol, smoking, and croissants! That sure doesn't sound like the easy way to me!" I love that chick.

Hi all. Wow. What a thread. I'm 34 y/o and my dad has 22 years sobriety. His older brother went into treatment shortly after him and has been sober ever since. Their dad, my Pop, has kidney issues due to alcohol, and his father died due to alcohol. So it definitely is in my family. I was 12 and turned 13 while he was in treatment. Happy birthday Cori! As mentioned by Green, my house was full of parties and fighting. My mom was 14 and my dad was 22 when they got married. They were 5 months pregnant with lil ole me. So the odds were stacked against them from the get go. My lil bro and I both knew what beer was, pot and it's accessories, heck we even knew that the white stuff was used in one of the rooms and to stay out when it was. There was lots of fighting. Lots of verbal and emotional abuse. I don't think there was physical, but Mom has admitted in the past that it probably bordered on physical abuse. If my bro and I were woken up during a fight, we'd get up and get dressed and go get each other and be packed and ready to go if Mom walked out. As far as Dad's alcoholism, we never knew what kind of mood he'd be in when he came home from work. Starting at least half an hour before he'd get home, we'd all change our mood and just sit waiting to see how he was going to be. Whether we could have fun or not. I've never been a Daddy's girl. I was always jealous of the girls who had that special relationship with their Dad. I've always loved my dad but I hated him for a very long time. 2 weeks before he went into treatment, he left us. I saw him a couple times and it was very hard. Then his work said either he got treatment or he was going to lose his job. While my dad was in treatment, in order to see him, we had to attend a program of our own. At the time, they only had Al-Anon and Growing Tree (for kids 11 and under). I went to Al-Anon one week with my mom, but I was 12 years old. Everyone there was in their upper teens or adults. They couldn't relate with me. So after that I went to the Growing Tree with my lil bro. But yet again, I was too old for that. So I mostly was like a helper with their activities. I didn't have any counseling of my own. After Dad got out of treatment, we stopped doing anything. So I never really dealt with my feelings about his alcoholism. He still scared me for many years. At times, I still have that feeling. Even though I know he'd do anything in the world for me. While he was in treatment, was the first time he told me he loved me. I still have the letter. Mom and Dad's relationship improved over time. Their 35th anniversary is in June. They're happy. And the fact that he was in treatment seems to be a thing of the past. I will say that because I never dealt with my issues about my dad's alcoholism back when I was a kid, it had definitely affected me later in life. I have Cerebral Palsy. I just basically walk funny. I use crutches now and then if I need some added support. No big deal. I've always had a weight problem. I've always had a problem with depression. But because of the kind of house I grew up in, everything was kept to just the family. So a bright, happy smile was always on my face, no matter how horrible I felt. When I was 22, I had moved into my best friend's apartment, a couple hours away. One extremely depressing, lonely night, I considered suicide. I didnt do it, obviously. But it was my lowest of lows. After a few days of not being able to put a smile on at all, and my best friend being worried, I finally called Mom and Dad to tell them. Mom answered and got mad and tossed the phone to Dad. He and I have never really been able to talk. We've had maybe a 3 heart to hearts ever. We talked for over an hour, and I told him how I blamed myself all these years for his alcoholism. "If he hadn't met my mom when she was so young, and if she hadn't gotten pregnant with me. If I hadn't been born with a handicap." I felt his alcoholism stemmed from all that. Even though I knew our family history. He said it was by no means my fault. I believed him, but to this day, part of me feels like it is. When I got a little older I did start dating someone for about 10 months who had been sober a while and still attended AA meetings, so I started going to Al-Anon while he was in another room with AA. I'll admit, it helped me then. I stopped going to meetings when I broke up with my ex. I know my depression and weight gain is due to lots and lots of issues but I think a core part of it was my dad's alcoholism. Even though he's made amends in his own ways, the feelings are still there. The main thing I got from it was that I didn't have my first drink until I was 21. And even though my brother and I know how to party and can get pretty drunk (definitely a thing of the past for me now!). Neither of us made a habit of it. I maybe have drank 6 times a year, 1 big blowout. Wow, what a ramble. I hope you don't mind me going all over the place.

it will all be worth it in the long run!! :frown: I am allergic to caffiene (19 years now)...and I haven't had alcohol in 3 years or so (I had a stroke and the meds I take messes with carbonation in all liqiuds...so even before being banded all carbonation was flat..flat beer..yuk!) Milk you will get in a little while...no sugar..think of the weight you have lost!! As I said it will all be worth it in the long run. My diet was the same...only I had already been on it due to other reasons!! You might want to ask your dr if you can have B12 vitamins (over the counter)..they melt in your mouth...they will give you an energy boost.

This thread has been really helpful. Last week I was given the green light to have surgery on 4th January. It was my first visit to the surgeon! I have one week of the liquid and steamed veg right over the Christmas and New Year period which doesn't really bother me. Last December I gave up alcohol, if I can do that I can do anything! Last night at my husbands Christmas party I met a lady who had the gastrectomy in May this year. She gave me some good advice on the liquid pre op period. The Optifast puddings keep you satisfied longer and it was recommended by her bariatric dietician. That and Powerade Zero (we are in Australia so not sure what the US equivalent is).

I probably shouldn't be posting this but I am an alcoholic who doesn't like to get drunk- make sense? I started drinking 1 month after surgery. Pinot is my absolute favorite!!!! Last night I had two glasses but couldn't finish the second. I haven't found a change in my palate- I just can't drink as much and it's not because I'm drunk - I just lose interest after a certain amount. And I'm not like most people who get drunk faster- I haven't noticed any change with that. I am 6 weeks out from surgery.

drinks or coffee might be hard on your sleeve if you're nervous. Remember you can order tea at most places that have coffee; it might be a little easier on your tummy acid-wise. You might not get nervous; I seem to remember being kind of flipped when I went to meet my now-husband for the first time. :-) If it was dinner, I probably wouldn't just come right out with the fact of my surgery early, but it's hard to know what this old married chick would do. LOL I know when I've been on business dinners with new friends/colleagues, I haven't really felt like "going there," so I fall back on my usual restaurant routine-- 1. Order Water so the waitperson will not worry about you not having a drink. 2. Order a side salad as an appetizer and Soup or appetizer for your main course. I always say something like this: I'd like to start with a side salad, please, dressing on the side, and for my main course, I'd like the appetizer shrimp cocktail (or cup of soup), please. Then I smile and hand them my menu. Nobody bats an eye. 3. When the salad comes, push it around, nibble, enjoy it but don't eat until you're full. Nobody will care--I promise, if they notice, it's not going to be a big deal if you still seem like you're enjoying yourself and are relaxed. I did have a colleague once ask me why I wasn't eating very much, and I said that I didn't like to eat big meals when I was working (which is true, although sort of evasive). He teased me about "being good," and I just laughed and went on. No big deal. I have also said, which is also true, that big meals make me sleepy, and I like to stay sharp when I'm working. People understand that completely. Ironically, the smaller I've gotten, the less people seem to notice that I'm not eating much--wait staff are all very unconcerned that I'm sharing my husband's meal--they just bring an extra plate and no big deal. I think it's pretty common these days, with restaurant portions being so huge. I also like the tricks of putting down my fork/spoon often, talking, enjoying the table conversation, really having time to listen to my dinner companions. You might get the reputation of being the nicest date in town--a cheap date (you don't drink alcohol and don't eat much!) who really pays attention to her companion!! Best wishes!!

Thank you for your thoughts. I am purely a social drinker but I'm in a band and most of our gigs are in pubs and clubs, so it somewhat goes with the territory. I'm not saying I need to drink but I can't remember gigging and not drinking with it, so that will definitely be an adjustment for me but I want to be thin a lot more than I want to drink alcohol. I'm hoping that I will be able to drink again in the future in moderation though.. lifestyle changes are good but I'm hoping not to become a nun here.

I suppose you do what's comfortable for you. But, for me, I stay silent on it all together for a while. They don't know the "you" before...so you don't have to introduce them I avoid dates surrounding food and recommend coffee, a drink (where I may or may not drink alcohol). If they ask about food I say I had a big lunch, aren't hungry, etc. once you get farther out you can eat, but won't eat as much and can use the same excuses. Good luck!

One of the reasons we have this op is to change our lives to make them better, healthier and happier, so there will be big changes, there will be things that are different and you very well may be a different person. However, I absolutely love the person that I now am. I love how I feel physically and mentally and I love the clothes I can now wear and I can't believe just how unhappy I was before. I am nearly 3 years out, I can eat pretty much anything if I chose to but in small portions - although I love how I am no longer a slave to all the crap I was eating before - I am not a big drinker but I do have the occasional alcoholic drink. I do still find it a bit of a struggle with not being able to drink and eat at the same time but its a very very minor issue. Having the op was the BEST decision I have ever made. Thats not to say there haven't been challenges, you have to work at it you still have to chose the right foods, you still need to exercise, there will be some things you miss and you may encounter stalls, but OMG the rewards from this journey just don't compare to anything you might have to give up or change. You will always find negative people and people for who it has not gone as they hoped. Don't be drawn into the negative or the what ifs, look at this as an exciting journey to an amazing new you, go into it with your head high and your determination strong. Good luck with everything and if you have any questions I'm more than happy to be a support.

My doctor pointed out that the band does nothing to the inside of your stomach. All restrictions, adhesions etc are from the outside. So the things we can't eat are affected by the shape of the stomach; tolerance for things like alcohol, caffeine, etc should be unaffected.

Fran, I'm glad you're ready to try again. It is a journey, not just a quick fix, that's for sure. My signature contains a link to a blog where I keep a record of what I'm eating. I'm having good weight loss and so I think my choices are pretty good, for the most part. I've been banded for 4 months and lost 65 pounds. I don't drink alcohol. I try not to drink any calories if I can help it. I do have Protein Shakes on occasion, but usually I just drink Water. I really like water and that's what I mostly drank before my surgery anyway, so that's easy for me. You might try the five day pouch test to get your pouch back in shape. I haven't used it yet, but it seems to be helpful to some who have used it. Good luck and don't give up. Seeking support and admitting what's been happening is a great step.

It is a pretty ridiculous idea. I don't see how it can compare to refusing to sell alcohol to someone who is intoxicated or banning smoking. Smoking is not a life-sustaining need. Drinking is not a life-sustaining need. Eating is a life-sustaining need. If I were a smoker and smoked around others, I could cause them health problems due to second-hand smoke. If I were a drinker, I could seriously harm or kill someone by driving drunk. If I go to a restaurant and overeat, the only person I am hurting is myself. I just don't see the comparisons.

Amy, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. There are no words, I can come up with to make it instantly better, or believe me I would. I have been divorced...it was devastating, it hurt for the actual loss of the marriage, but also the loss of the dream of what I had thought marriage would be. My divorce was a first for our family... My Grandma used to tell me that in order to make anything change you had to change something. She told me this as I complained of issues around my own divorce. But slowly I began to understand. So I started changing small things. Things as simple at the time, as changing where I ate fast food. We always did BK together, so I wouldn't go there, I went elsewhere. We always bought groceries at a certain place, or had the car serviced at a certain place, I changed that. Our Christmas tree had always had the same color coordinated decorations...I did it MY way...in my places. It was a conscious decision, to CHANGE things, no matter how small. I slept on PINK sheets, he hated pink! I searched for ways to make my life happy. I took some non credit community courses at the college, I made an effort to visit friends and family. Not go to dinner, or anything other than to just spend time visiting with them. I kept busy. It was hard at first finding things to do, but they are out there. One of the first things I got involved in was with a group who were working to save and restore an older park in our town. I met a lot of people, and count many of them as friends to this day. A good friend who had been divorced herself told me "the best revenge you can get is to have a good, happy life, without him." She was so right. I no longer feel a need for revenge, or to "show" him, but can't help but be pleased with myself when I compare the lives we now have. He went for many years with the new, young, thin wife, bigger house, kids....but now, he is divorced yet again,living with a fellow alcoholic, and has nothing to call his own....he lives in her small trailer, drives her car, is just somewhat pathetic. I know all of this because the fellow alcholic he lives with was one of my best friends for years until her drinking was just too much for me. I look back and feel lucky that I was given a chance to have a better life, and I took that chance. I hope you do too. Give yourself time to grieve, but keep in mind, that someone who would do this to you, is not someone you really want to spend the rest of your life with. You deserve better, and you will find it. Work your band, and work your life to suit YOU....you will survive and be a better person than you could have ever been with him dragging you down. Good Luck, and don't forget when you need to cry, whine, moan or just plain bi#$h about life, we are here, and will offer any support we can! Kat