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I am 17 months out. I am going to tell you my thoughts but please don't take them for the norm. My diet/life style works for me and may not work for anyone else. I have been off of all carbonated beverages for 2 years now. I currently eat anything I want but stay away from bread and pasta (anything made with flour actually). Now when I say I stay away from it that doesn't mean I don't have a bite or a taste occasionally but for the most part I stay away. I do have a small bowl of ice cream every now and then. I also eat small chocolate candies periodically. I have an alcoholic drink (probably about 2 shots) almost every night with a nightly cigar. I normally don't eat vegetables or fruit (I rely on my multivitamin for those nutrients) but I have some occasionally if I want. My diet mostly consists of Protein and fats. I don't eat a lot of red meat because I find it hard to digest. I mostly eat chicken, turkey and fish. I made my goal weight December 1st, 2018 and have maintained it since then (between 165 and 170 lbs). I just had blood work for my Primary care provider and all results were within normal ranges. I no longer have diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. My doctor is very happy with my results and is impressed at how disciplined I am with my diet and lifestyle.

I'm 6 years out and I can tell you my biggest downfall is resorting to alcohol in times of trouble. A little here and there leads to a lot and before you know it you are ignoring all the rules. My advice: find a drink now that is low carb and not carbonated so you have a go to if you need it. Beer is not ever a bands friend!! Also, don't fall into the trap of allowing yourself sweets just because you can still fit under your carb max or your calorie max...pretty soon you'll be back to eating way more of those than you can because you started with one and they slide down easy.

Thanks for the great advice. Tiff. I am going to set a menu, I think that will help somewhat. I am currently taking Nexium. I have been on it for years. He took me off it post-op, not sure why, but the reflux was still there, and I have been back on it for months now. I never really counted carbs and was losing before. But, maybe I need to watch them now! At least to get back on track. I checked the Protein Bars, they have 2g of sugar. But what is sugar alcohols? It does say it contains that. But, I am not buying anymore, because I think they only make me hungry. Thanks!!

I'm surprised how emotional I've been. I cried a couple of times during the last 3 days of recovery "for no reason" that I could put my finger on. This is a big deal. I think there is a lot of emotion that will come up. But I would have a talk with your husband about how he can better support you. For the short term, I'd consider asking him not to talk about food in front of you. It sounds like it's a hot button issue for you, and he will hopefully help make things easier, not harder, if you tell him what's going on inside your head... For me, it was alcohol... I made my DH put everything in storage and asked that we keep a dry house for a few months... We usually had a scotch or two (or some other drink) before bed every night, and I knew I'd feel really left out if he were drinking when I couldn't...

In the time I have had to wait to get surgery, I have lost weight and am now 210 pounds. After decades of trying different diets, starting this past January, I have finally found a sustainable way of eating where I lose weight. Now, I have waited 3 years in line for surgery, and I will get a date in the next few weeks. I don't want to give up my place in line, but I don't want to have surgery if I can lose weight on my own. I don't know what to do.. Why did I wait 3 years? Because of public health care, everyone takes a number. If I walk away? I will have to go to the back of the line again. Type of surgery - I am pursuing a gastric bypass. Starting weight - 250 lbs Satisfied after a meal? Yes. I'm on the line now where if I lose any more weight, I don't qualify for the surgery. I started this journey because my liver has NAFLD, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. My last liver test came out within the normal scale. So I have changed my lifestyle enough for it to have a positive impact on my health. Now, I am questioning if continuing is me just wanting more, when I should be happy. Has anyone here been around 200lbs before surgery? What was your journey like?

Dude, it was a Mardi Gras parade---I am sure you weren't the only one that didn't stop when they should. :-) Seriously though, unlike food, consuming alcohol is a choice. You don't need it to live. Have you tried setting a firm limit for yourself. For example, you can allow yourself to have two drinks over a 2 hour period and that's it for the night. You're there to be social, not to get a buzz or f---ked up. If you can't do that and you don't know when enough is enough, alcohol is not working out for you and you have to cut it out completely. The reality is if you feel this way now and you don't put the breaks on drinking, it's going to become a serious problem for you. You didn't get to 400 without abusing food---so, you have to be really careful with anything that is potentially addictive. You're picking up on this early before it becomes serious, so that's a great thing!!

Yes. Make sure of a few things: 1) You're eating very small bites (finger-tip size) and chewing extremely thoroughly. People tend not to even realize they're eating too quickly for their sleeves until it hits them. 2) You're not drinking fluids within a short period before/after of eating food. This will contribute significantly to reflux. 3) You're not eating foods that contribute to reflux.. like spicy foods, alcohol, etc.

I messaged him but he hasnt responded. I'm assuming hes already on his way to wherever hes going and possibly left hos work phone behind? Im hoping hes just on a flight and thats why he hasn't responded. Im just trying to calm down haha I wiped it with some alcohol and I'm just letting it dry by not covering it up.

Hello fellow forummers!So here is some of my story........ I am one of 4 siblings.......whom are all 1/2 brothers and sisters, I might add. I'm not only the oldest but was forever the "Heavy" one in the family of beanstalks. My sister is 5'6" and has always been a svelte130 lbs. My mom is 5'8" and never saw above 130, even having 4 kids. My Stepdad is 6' and 175 lbs My two brothers are both well over 6' tall and about 180 lbs each. Me? Well, I'm 5'3" and struggled to stay at 130 through high school, with my parents always making nice little comments about anything I put in my mouth. My moms favorite thing to do was pinch my thigh and say, "You're gettin a little chunky these days!". My stepdad used to tell me that one day I'd grow into my arms.....(I have wide shoulders and I guess my arms stuck out a little from my body......he meant I would fill up that gap). All my life I have felt FAT and UGLY. All my life I have hated my body. All my life I have hated food. I even hated myself after my first child was born and I was back at 130 lbs. I still felt FAT. I see pictures of me THEN, and I'm like, OMG! I was a stick!!! Why did my parents always think I was so overweight??????? Well, after an unfortunate reaction to Norplant birth control in 1994......I began my journey as the true fat one in my family. I guess I finally lived up to my families expectations.....without even WANTING to! I gained 90 lbs in less than 3 months. So long post birth 130 lbs! Hello 208. Then, I got pregnant with my daughter........hello 298. 1995 - 208 lbs 1996 - 298 lbs. 1998 - 145 lbs (Advocare products) 2000 - 208 lbs 2001 - 150 lbs (Divorce diet...lol) 2003 - 185 lbs 2005 - 140 lbs (2 jobs, depression, 3 hrs of sleep, living on Peanut Butter, unhealthy) 2006 - 190 lbs 2007 - 140 lbs (moved, broke, stopped eating, unhealthy) 2008 - 180 lbs 2009 - 145 lbs (straight alcohol diet) lovely and extremely stupid. 2011 - 211 lbs So when I tell my mom about my surgery, she says, "You look fine and I'm sure you can lose it by yourself." OMG I wanted to stick a fork in my own eye!!!!!! Hello, Earth to Mom! I've 'done it by myself' SIX times! She didn't approve of my surgery and didn't speak to me for 3 weeks prior to my surgery, and that was just fine with me....I didn't need the stress. So now I have the sleeve. I'm down 25+ lbs in the weeks since surgery and my self confidence is already coming back! My husband loves my smile, the fact that I'm not hiding from him behind the covers, bathrobes and etc. has improved our sex life. I just can't say anything negative right now.......except I'm bored to death with liquids! LOL! So, here's to the gal who used to be "chunky"....... and here's to the WOMAN who will not be held back by weight issues ANY MORE!!!!!!! Cheers ya'll! and thanks for listening!!!!! Christal

I just got my Nugo sample pack today and tried the Brownie Crunch. It is really good tasting and satisfied my hunger just fine. Each bar has 16 g of protein, 19 g of carbs (2 g are sugar carbs, others are sugar alcohols or something not counted in net carbs) and 7 g of fiber. After I finish the 3 bars in the sample pack this weekend I am going to put in an order for a box or two of my favorite flavor. I can see myself eating 1 a day or maybe not even that often. It depends on the impact of these on my goals.

Alcohol does not enhance anything for me.... But let me smoke a little bit of that good stuff and I transform into something "dangerous" (as my Sugar Daddy says) (but no real danger- I promise!)

Deb and Donna, welcome to LBT! I'm the DH (darling husband) to MsJoy (the banded one). I know from reading in here that yes, you can have alcohol, but most of the doctors restrict its use during the healing period. I'm sure you don't need to be told what it feels like throwing a little alcohol on an open wound. Then after they have healed some of the members here have a glass of wine or two, some beer...whatever you can stand, I guess.

The biggest thing i was told about alcohol is it will affect us differently due to the rerouting of the intestines. So one drink might get you completely drunk. I have known many people that still drink on occasion and due fine they just have to be careful. The other issue is that you don't want a transfer addiction. That is something else they warn everyone about since we no longer are addicted to food we might be addicted to something else ie alcohol.

I would think that since alcohol is an irritant and can cause gastritis and esophageal irritation, this could set the stage for erosion. While I enjoy having a margarita or two on occasion, I wouldn't encourage it on a regular basis. That's a good idea, Penni - about drinking water to flush it through.

...starting with 80% of our stomachs. But it doesn't stop there, does it? We give up solid foods for a while. We give up things we used to love, like coffee, cigarettes, alcohol--either completely, or at least temporarily. Here's a list I found online called "Fifteen things You Should Give Up to be Happy". Not give up to be skinny, just to be happy. (The sleeve will take care of the scale, but the headspace work is up to us, after all!) And being happier is probably something we're all in favor of, pre-op or post-op, right? I know there are many things on this list that I could definitely identify with. So, I thought I'd share. Enjoy! Credit: World Observer Online, April 25, 2012 Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go: 1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”--Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big? 2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel. “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning.”--Lao Tzu 3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life. 4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that. “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.”--Eckhart Tolle 5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly! “A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind”--Elly Roselle 6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. 7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all. 8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly. 9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it. “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls”--Joseph Campbell 10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.”--Wayne Dyer 11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”--Franklin D. Roosevelt 12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real. 13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now. 14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words. 15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path. http://worldobserveronline.com/2012/04/25/15-things-you-should-give-up-to-be-happy/

I was told no alcohol at least three months and was told to drink first at home so u know if one is gonna mess u up.

So I thought I'd run it all down. I might add some pictures tomorrow when I take them for my records. 10 days before Surgery two months ago I weighed 346 lbs. Everything made me out of breath. I wasn't exercising nor dieting. In fact had probably spent the last few months leading up to this going to as many restaurants/fast food places as I could, getting my favorites for one last time. Started the full liquid 10 days before surgery lost about 12lbs and on July 24th, 2017 I was SLEEVED. *insert "Law and Order" chung-chung sound here* It took a week after that to feel only a mild pain from the incisions, probably 2 weeks after for the pain to be gone entirely. I was on clear liquids for the whole first week after surgery. Walking helped, shuffling around the house in my slippers. I didn't have any gas pains and I'd say my best friend, or the best thing I bought after surgery (at the advice of some angel on the forum) was a stomach support stretchy velcro thingy. It kept me feeling like my guts weren't falling out...gave me stomach support when it was weak. Noticed the pounds coming off at a steady, very steady, 2lbs per day. That is, until the three week stall which is REAL y'all. Went through the entire month of August on Full Liquid diet. Consisted on two protein shakes and a bowl of soup and of course lots of water. Didn't really do a whole lot of exercising all that much, but that has changed since my last Surgeon's appointment when he said I could go to pureed for a week, then solid foods. I've been walking about 2 miles a day and increasing daily and it's making the pounds move. I have 6 - 8 months to maximize this loss and I am going to do it. I'm already addicted to walking everyday and loving it immensely. I don't get out of breath easily at all anymore and I'm pushing myself gently to the point that I actually feel like JOGGING!!! Cut to today. I am at 290. That is a loss of 56 lbs and I definitely can feel it. This is only two months in. Problems: After Surgery and a little recovery I had a hard time figuring out what to do with my life in my leisure time. Everything had always revolved around food and eating and or drinking with friends. Checking out new Restaurants, going to favorite restaurants, drinking at local watering hole - these all had to be requestioned and rethought. I had to figure out what to do to occupy my time better. i think i have since worked it out. I still go to my neighborhood watering hole, but I have that - water and I pay for some of my friends drinks that way I am contributing to the financial necessities of the establishment and not just taking up space. I have bought a pop up camper from 1970 and I am in love with it and spend at least one pretty day a week tinkering with it and getting ready for a big camping trip at the end of the month. Eating in general has slowly become a Non-Pleasure. I use solid food as medicine now. if I am hungry it takes soooooo verrrrrrrrryyyyy littttttlllllee before I just have to stop. it's just a necessity and definitely not a desire. My pleasure sensors or joy sensations when it comes to food have all but burned and fizzled out. Is that really a PROBLEM? I don't know. It CERTAINLY is confusing. I NEVER know what will work or not in my stomach right now. It's a virtual guessing game. Almost. I say almost because I know there are "guides" and recommendations, but the reality of having to look everything up before you attempt to have a meal is ridiculous. The mood swings, the toxins stored in your fat releasing itself into your system as the fat dissipates causing the mood swings and the bursts of hormones/testosterone are a roller coaster ride and not always a fun one. Sometimes they are not fun at all. The loss of the feeling of "completion" with eating. The loss of the "full and content" feeling has been weird to me...it's just, you're done and your stomach might feel queasy or your stomach might just feel fine, but you're just done and that's it. I don't know, again, if that's a real problem but it's just...different. The way my torso, specifically my stomach and man boobs are going to take the longest to lose fat certainly can make the rest of your body look weird in the mean time. Good Stuff: Inches and Pounds, Inches and Pounds! Dropping from a 3xl shirt to now just a 2xl shirt is a wonderful feeling. I have only bought one new pair of pants because I went out of town on an overnight trip and forgot my friggin' clothes so I had to buy some. The jeans I bought were 6 inches below what I had been buying. 6 inches is a lot in jeans. They start looking like regular jeans instead of flared bell bottoms because your goddamned waist is so huge that it continues down the pant leg. I've been tracking the inches lost and that will be measured for the second time post surgery tomorrow. Noticing the fast changes in my body mass. Other people noticing the changes. Looking down when I'm sitting and seeing my lap instead of my stomach? more energy better sleep already 56lbs off your frame makes Sex a wee bit easier and more fun. Skin looks great with so much water and non toxic food going through your system. Dry skin gone. Greasy skin and spots gone. Having a neck with tendons in it and clavicle bones look cool. Putting on a t-shirt and before you get it past your arms, you already know it's gonna fit perfectly. I know you know what I'm talking about. Everyday is a new and interesting day. I am certainly taking it one day at a time and each day I wake up excited about the possibility of walking and getting lesser and lesser. I'm really confused and still adjusting to what eating has become. I still enjoy an occasional dance with Mary Jane if I need to get out of my head, but was never a fan of alcohol that much anyway. I can't imagine what is beyond this....I haven't ever been "normal weight" since I was a child. I am willing to get there though. I guess overall I am happy that I chose to do this really , really weird thing to my body. And there you are....

There are many ways to answer that question. For one thing, to some people sugar really is an addiction in the exact same way drugs or alcohol is. I am one of those people. I couldnt go a day without sugar and pretty much after every meal I would crave sugar like crazy. I remember one terrible Christmas we made dozens of cookies and I ate those damn cookies like they were crack for the next 3 weeks. I just kept thinking "this has to stop". So at that point I was definitely not able to moderate it. Now, 9 months post surgery I have completely changed my life. I have changed my coping mechanisms, I havent had any deserts and I work out regularly. I am debating the idea of having tiny amounts of sweets. Have I changed enough? Have I come far enough to be able to moderate? I honestly dont know.

I have the sugar free chocolate syrup, have to check on the peppermint one...OMG, I just read the back of the peppermint extract, to see about calories, and it says it's 91% alcohol..Good thing I only used 1 tsp.

I have been plateaued right around low to mid 150s for months. I have been letting bad things creep into my diet. A couple bites of potatoes, mac & cheese, some alcohol, a little rice, hit the vending machine at work for a candy bar and what was once only occasionally is a bit more constant. I haven't really gained but I have not been losing. I have not yet hit goal and I am 20 months out from surgery. My surgeon's goal for me was 130 pounds. I can do this. So Sunday morning I was at 157.6. (I had female surgery on Friday so I spiked a bit due to the IV and sodium chloride they loaded me with). I had been hanging more like 153-156. I went back to a couple of protein shakes a day and protein/veggies for dinner. I had 1 egg + spinach & tomatoes for breakfast and a cheese stick on the way home from work. I am now down to 152.6. My mom is coming to PA from AZ Oct 14th so I figure I will be strict until then. I can eat a little more like a normal person while she is here. Normal meaning real food instead of protein shakes but I will still avoid the simple carbs like bread, rice, pasta, potatoes. I want to be below 150 when she gets here. I want to be at 130 to ring in the new year. Once Mom leaves I will start going back to the gym. I have a bunch of saved up personal trainer sessions. Maybe I will use 1 a week for a month or so to keep me on the straight and narrow. I ride my horse about 4 times a week so get some exercise. Yes, riding is exercise. Last month I took him on a 15 mile trail ride. We trotted for probably 13 miles of that and it took just about 2 hrs and 50 minutes. I ride English so posted for the majority of that. For those of you that don't ride posting is standing then sitting every other stride of the horse. So think 2 + hours of squats. Then we did 9 miles the next day. Yes, baby those quads were on fire come Monday. However, I do need to get some weight training and some aerobics back in. I work full time and have an hour commute each way. Finding time to exercise can be tough. Now that the weather is cooler I am going to try to walk at lunch. I don't see why I can't lose 22.6 pounds in 3 months. That is only 7.5 pounds a month. I am 5'3" so 130 is really the high end of "goal". I need to touch base with my NUT too. I know my surgeon set my protein at 62 grams. I need to figure out if that is still a good number or would going higher help me lose a little better.

I'm an equal opportunity alcohol consumer..I plan on switching to wine or liquors, in moderation, of course!

I think in the beginning they don't want you to have caffeine / coffee because it dehydrates you quickly and that's something that some people have a problem with. Alcohol also is a diuretic and can dehydrate you quickly, hence the hangover, add carbonation to it and your tummy and body are suddenly spiraling downward toward dehydration. BE CAREFUL! This is a whole new you and your shot at making your dreams a reality...make it happen and be proactive! I never touch alcohol (long story there) but I drink coffee and diet coke all day and night. I have the two next to me at all times and it's a horrible habit and one that will be hard to break . I've started drinking a gallon (yes a whole gallon) of Water a day and I hate hate HATE water but I want to be hydrated and ready for surgery and accustomed to drinking water afterwards. I've switched to caffeine free diet coke but still drink coffee. It's going to kill everyone here to drop those habits but we can do it. (someone tell me I can have coffee when I wake up from surgery please please please! *prays on bended knees*) LOL Renee`

Docs seem to be split regarding coffee and caffeine since they can up your risk of ulcers post-op (pre-op too actually). Besides the calories many programs have you abstain from alcohol because there is also a higher risk of transfer addiction where people who used to rely on food for "a fix" start to turn to other sources for comfort. I'm talking about people who hated the taste of alcohol becoming raging alcoholics after surgery. Just like if you know someone who quit smoking and took up eating or someone who quit hard drugs and started smoking more.

Hello Everyone, So much to say, where to begin? Hmmmmm. Ok, so I had RNY Gastric Bypass surgery back in 2013 when I was topping the scales at 289 at my heaviest. Having been on every diet under the sun by age 16, being approved for WLS was the greatest thing to ever happen to me. At the ripe age of 23, I had the idea that if my weight was under control then my life would be great, my life would have meaning, I would be happy. Growing up hating yourself because of what you look like is so lonely, it's so painful, and a prison that nobody can set you free from. As I have grown and matured over the years since my surgery I have gained a greater understanding of the why behind the what. What was the issue? I was obese, but why was I obese? The why is not addressed when someone signs on the dotted line after being approved for WLS. I am 7 years out of surgery and I had to learn the why through grueling life experiences that ran me face first into, well...ME. I will forever be grateful for the tool that was given to me through my surgery but I have come to realize that if the why isn't dealt with then my tool will be of no use to me. After my surgery I lost 132 pounds from my heaviest weight going from 289 to 157 and I loved it! I was on top of the world fitting into my size 8 jeans and able to wear whatever I desired but soon my life started to spiral downwards. Since I was no longer able to overeat, I substituted that for an unhealthy relationship, drugs and alcohol. To the naked eye my life seemed great because from the outside everything looked wonderful. The reality is that I sold myself a lie when I convinced myself that when I lost weight my life would automatically be great. Don't get me wrong, losing weight is wonderful but in my case it was much deeper then the extra pounds I was carrying. I needed healing from a life long battle of rejection, abandonment and emotional wounds that shedding 132 pounds didn't cure. I maintained my lowest weight of 157 until 2015 along with my out of control pain pill and adderal addiction and emotionally abusive relationship but it all came to a head when I found God (don't tune out if you don't believe as this is my truth and my experience) in January 2015. In surrendering my life to God and with His power, I was given the strength to leave that relationship and leave the drugs behind and thats when the real work began. In the last 2 years I have gained about 50 pounds and have come to realize that I never dealt with the real issues that caused me to almost be 300 pounds in the first place. I am in a really good place in my life right now as God is helping me tackle the root issues of my brokenness that manifests itself in self destructive behaviors like compulsive overeating or substance abuse. Emotionally I am at a place now that I wish I would have been when I had my surgery, in a place that I can appreciate the tool that has been given to me but more importantly having an awareness of what is going on within. I believe that I had to gain this weight to really appreciate not only what I have but knowing that my weight can't make me or break me. I no longer live in fear that I am not good enough like I did for my whole life leading up to WLS. I allow myself to feel and not numb my emotions with outside things which has been a constant in my life. So unlike most stories of feeling like a failure after regaining weight, this is a success story and one that is still being written! I want to document my journey to losing the regain and hope to encourage, inspire and open the dialogue to similar stories like mine. This is life peeps, if we aren't growing, we are dying. I started on Tuesday going on walks and getting back to the basics and am down 5 pounds and my goal is to get to 150. I know I can do this and would love the support from my fellow WLS community. My first time around, I did it alone but i know that there is power in unity and community. Be Blessed family. I have attached a progression picture of me at my heaviest, my lowest and now. -Mari

Ok my girlfriends are having a get together this sat then il be 14 post is it to soon to have alcoholic drinks???? IM MY OWN MOTIVATION