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Yesterday i celebrated my 34th birthday and i basically just reflected on my life and how much i have been evolving and changing. Life has had it where i all of a sudden have been running into alot of people from my past. Some have seen ginuinely happy for my growth, some have greeted me with fake smiles. Some have actually frowned at me probably not knowing that their mouth was saying one thing, but their face was saying how they really felt. Some people have asked what i have been doing to lose weight, stating that im so skinny now, they can hardly recognize me. People are a trip, and i thank God i am a very to myself person so negativity doesnt come my way often, or quite bother me. I am in my last year of nursing school and down 125 pounds and all praise goes to God, nobody else not even myself. It has not been my strength at all because i know i would have fallen without my faith. Just everyone, love yourself in spite of people and their reactions. Just know when you grow for the better, many will not be happy for you.

For me....making changes always seems to be something that I struggle with. I'll see they are needed, yet I'll simply let it simmer....living knowing change is needed. I'm grateful that I've grown impatient with my old ways. October 2015 was a great step towards improving my health with the sleeve surgery. Well, I'm making damn sure that October 2016 doesn't pass without me gaining leverage over the list of remaining issues. I have appointments with various physicians and will be following through. Years of self neglect and all the sudden I want be back in the game, Coach. I'm so pissed off for allowing this to happen. That anger is gonna be useful in the year ahead. I've come a little ways, but can now see how much further I can go. Life is ready to be LIVED. The best part is ahead. So much I want to do. So much I will do.

update weight

Scheduled my psy for tomorrow & my dr required 'exercise/nutrition', 3rd Nut is already set later this month. Don't. Gain. Weight!!!

3rd NUT Tues, Hope no more gain! 2nd re-injury after surgery in as many months & job affecting me. Maybe I won't be able to handle surgery either.

Blaah....day 10 and I'm feeling sad. The monotomy of this pre op diet is wearing on me. However I've perservered. Very anxious about things, surgery coming up this Wednesday. My weight loss has slowed down significantly since last week. Only lost 2 more pounds which bums me out when I have not so much as licked a spoon that I shouldn't have. On a brighter note, I feel good as far as my aches and pains go, in spite of the fact that I've had no ibuprophen since the 12th.

Halfway through a month long squat challenge to make up for all the weight that is coming out of my butt. Got to keep it round!

Have definitely stalled. Not worried about the weight, but I know I need to get my protein and calories up a bit from what I've been managing.

enter weight

GAINED 5 lbs since my 1st Nut Appointment. WTF. Going back to work (SPED teacher) & still recovering from ACL surgery doesn't help a damn bit..

how do I change my current weight?

Had my 6 month post-op appoinment. Have a new weight loss goal which is a lot different than I originally thought, but it can hopefully be done. Have a lot of hard work ahead of me and have to add 40g more of protein in. This will be challenging

Half way t my required weight loss before surgery and i still have 25 days before my final weigh in!! I am so much prouder of myself then I ever expected to be!

I "lied" about having surgery for the first time yesterday. I put it in quotes because it was not technically a lie. A volunteer at work, whom I hadn't seen in months, saw me and commented on my weight loss. Then she said, "You didn't have that gastric bypass, did you?" Well, from how she asked, I could tell that she had a negative opinion of surgery, so I just said, "No" (because I didn't have bypass, I had the sleeve... see how sneaky I am?). And then she said, "Oh, thank god... that surgery scares me to death!" I feel bad because I missed an opportunity to educate someone on the facts of WLS, but I have only told a couple people at work and am trying to avoid the judgemental gossip that I know would happen. It may already be happening behind my back, but I'd rather keep it quiet.

I am post-op 11 mos and I have slowed down way too much. I no longer have drive or energy to do what I know to do. Need some encouragement...I am not hitting my weight goal at my year mark in a few weeks. How can I get it going again...thoughts?

While at the gym, a random person came up to me and said, "wow you look great... how much weight have you lost?" I left the gym that night feeling satisfied that I have made the right decision. It's hard to see the changes in the mirror, but I will trust I'm making progress.