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The appeal for Atlanta to me is primarily because that is the heart of promotion opportunities within my part of my company. I also like the office there. Ever go somewhere and feel like "these are my people?" The women dress up, it is multicultural, the average age is a bit younger - just an energizing place to be. i like any workplace that when I show up to visit I get hugs and kisses - there just isn't enough of that in this world for my tastes! I don't feel that way in our Boston office and in fact refused to move there. I have been part of the Seattle office for over 20 years and am just tired of it and it also has very little executive presence since the big reorg of 08/09 so limited growth opportunities. I had fun seeing Dan play with Austin Jenke on Wednesday. Austin is a hometown hero who was on the voice. More importantly he works as a profiessional songwriter and now lives in Nashville. He has "made it" in the industry even if he isn't well known outside of his hometown. He has a great voice and the show was crazy well received. It was insane to me how many people knew Dan too and he just plays Seattle based gigs with Austin. (he mostly plays with a variety of bands not just Austin) My anxiety went sky high earlier this week over my waiting forever for the mammogram before I can actually see specialists over my breast problem. Sky high anxiety - it has been amping up for weeks but this week became something I couldnt manage on my own. I drank too much one night (you know wine instead of dinner) and luckily only had a silly conversation with Dan which he thought was hilarous but that bad judgement could have been much worse. I talked to my EX who still knows how to soothe me and who coached me to get some short term anxiety meds and get some sleep. I did that from my new doctor and last night I slept the first decent night in weeks - no alcohol - just was able to sleep. I woke up paniced, took 1/2 dose and slept. I feel better able to cope with work today and feel more like myself since I am neither exhausted nor wound up or some horrible combination of both which has been my life the last week or two. Thank God. Now if I can just keep from "cycling up" again until I get my diagnosis.

Ladies I need your help and support. I have put on so much weight this year and I'm frightened. I weigh 20lb more now than I did at the beginning of the year. I know it has been a tough year with unemployment, house move, renovations, death and flood but it seems I have ate my way through it all and had my head in the sand concerning the scales. It is not just the food it would seem that our weekend wine has been extended to weekdays too. I do have a plan - January no alcohol(quite common in the UK these days), back to 5:2 including eating well on the 5 days, exercise (I have booked the trainer to come back starting Tuesday). I'm going to make my weigh in day a Wednesday. So please if I don't 'report in at least one a week badger, 'shout', 'shake' me until I respond. I'm sat here on the last day of the year crying at my own stupidity for letting things get so bad. Best wishes to everyone for 2015.

Coops, love the pulley and matching slippers too, you have got the look. Globe I'm so glad you had a good day, I was concerned about you being on your own. It's good that you were able to connect with family. I know what you mean when emotions surface and it can be anything that sets it off. We have a crib set that is put out each year ( had it about 25 years) and baby Jesus is only put out on Christmas night - usually the last job I do before bed. I get quite emotional as I put the baby in the manger as I am usually reflecting on the year and giving thanks for all the blessings in my life. As a side, on Christmas morning everyone must visit the crib and see the 'baby', it is usually our first greeting to each other "happy Christmas, have you seen the 'baby'"?when the boys were young we used to assemble around the crib and sing Happy Birthday to the 'baby'. At 20 and 26 I think they are a bit old for that. Georgia, I like the insight of your post I too can see my role changing, the boys don't have partners yet but as and when that happens I imagine that the mum role diminishes a bit (though we will always be mum) as their life evolves around their own circumstances. I suppose we just need to look forward and decide what other 'role' we want to invite into our lives be it artist, musician, friend, befriended etc. LV I know you have said this might not be your best/ happiest season, glad you survived. The only naughty things in the house now are alcohol and chocolates, the alcohol I can leave but the chocolates are shouting out to me. I will have to encourage those men here to eat up. Got a piece of gammon on, boiling away nicely for dinner tonight and we are all off to the cinema in a couple of hours. The vote was anchorman 2 which sounds really daft but I will enjoy us all being together. Enjoy your day everyone.

Swim posts in the vets forum alot, just click on the link in her siggy and you pretty much get the picture. I thought I had a lot to learn from her but it is more conspiracy theories then anything useful to me. Stopped seeing Tino a bit ago. It just wasn't working out. I am not sure if he intentionally misled me in what he was looking for or perhaps he didn't really know or perhaps he just found me less appealing after all but I didn't want to be just dad's girlfriend... I want someone to do fun stuff with as a couple. Had a blast this last weekend, went dancing and stuff. Family tragedy has happened though, I am just sick over it. Someone I used to be very close to but who has sorta let alcoholism drive a wedge in her relationships has been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. I am getting a bit of post traumatic stress due to my history of dealing with my sisters illness and death. This is just ugly and horrid and I will spare you all the details but it's really bad. I am immediately aware that I need to be very deliberate about not returning to depression, like, I just feel so emotionally overwhelmed by it that I just don't know. Right now I want to sleep but I need to work.

Hello everyone!!! My gosh, I hate when our group is unhappy! It is one of the frustrations of our online friendship (maybe the only one?) when one of you has a problem, needs help, whatever, I cannot just hop in the car and run over to your place to help. I truly wish I could. Betty--I am so glad Alan's tests went well, and hope he is healing well from the angiogram. It is a relief to actually SEE the rest of everything is working, and know they consider it nothing major! I hope the schedule works so he can get it done soon, and have the Spring and Summer to begin walking again, and building up his strength. Rick had his in August, and it was too doggone hot to walk outside some days, and then before we knew it, fall was upon us! I loved being banded in the Spring, it was the perfect time. I think it would be for him as well. I hope your stress levels ease some---I can so remember the fear. ((((Big giant hugs)))) Eficka--The very last thing I said to my former friend was "Friendship requires trust, we have none, so we have no friendship." I see her around, she avoids meeting my eyes. She looks like what she is---an alcoholic. She has several years on your friend--we are 46, but time will do it to her as well. It is a hard life, and one I would think is hard to live as well. My brother had alcohol issues for awhile, and he was horrid to be around. I chose not to be around him often, so why would I choose someone knowing that about them. I am not anti-alcohol. I am anti-abuse. When it causes problems---it IS a problem. You will mourn the friendship---or at least what you thought the friendship was. It is normal for you to be able to think of little else. It IS a major issue in your life right now. While the inside you is not changing as drastically as the outside, it IS changing. You are gaining in self confidence, as you lose in size. It is good. Just as Fiona deserves better, so do you. And here is your ((((big, giant hug)))). Yep Amourette---you deserve better. You could have had much worse, but you deserve better! Your job, makes it such a different possibility! I mean for myself, if I were single, in the rural area I live in, I could go to the next town over, go to bars, or to events, like local rodeos etc. but I would have definite limitations. You have the world at your feet--literally!!!!! You could meet a man in the USA, or one in Italy......oh the possibilities!!! And you like Eficka are changing, your self confidence, although it took a beating this week, Is going to soar! Self confidence attracts people---even male people!!! I am so sorry you are hurting....but better to know now, it is for the best. I send you ((((big, giant hugs ))))too! Julie---I have no doubt Onederland is sitting there waiting for you with open arms! I cannot get there!!! I think my GPS is broken! I think I would have made it, but I am in a place where I am building muscle now. I have dropped from a 16 to a 14 in pants, and my body fat percentage has dropped by over 10 points. Measured on the same machine, at the same time of day. I have gone from being able to do 5 sit ups to doing 2 sets of 20...underneath that layer (and it is a pretty good layer still!!!) of fat, I can feel muscle. I also have a bicep to be proud of!!! Triceps are still hiding under the wing of fat, but I feel them there!!! The biggest change is one only I notice---it is in my lats. I used to have a roll over my bra on the side/back---it is gone. My bra band has dropped another size as well. BUT the scale sits tight, it jumps from 202.5-205---not over, not under!!! I hate to go for another fill, I am in a good place eating wise. I can eat most things, I can likely eat more than is ideal, but it is less than I did by far. I do not want to worry about food. When I am tight, I stress over what will work and what won't. So I want to do this without another fill at this point. I know Spring will help, lots to DO!!! Boo---WOW!!!! 110/51!!!! I thought I was doing good---mine closked in at 118/72. I see I have more work to do!!! You have done such an awesome job!!! Bluehill---how you doing? Hanging in there? How much longer til they think you can get home? Roberta---where ya at? Ok I need to get some things done. My Mom is having knee surgery tomorrow, I am battling with my oldest DD---and feeling like hell for it. It is not starting out a great day.....hope it improves! TTYL, Kat

hi everybody:-) Im up for that challenge althoough Im afraid 19 excercise sessions is bit to much:-) although if walking and shopping (I mean walking from one store to another) counts then I might actually do it:-) I had a rough week, we went out with my friend and she got so drunk (she does that a lot lately Im afraid shes an alcoholic) and she tried to seduce the guy I was flirting with and it worked both ways(seducing-not in some soft way she was like all over him trying to kiss him and her hands everywhere) .I was so mad because in a long time it was a guy I liked and he liked me!! there was no point of talking to her because she was so drunk that she wouldnt get what I was saying from her ears to her brain. In the end they decided they want more drinks, I didnt join them cause I had to go to work next day and also didnt want to deal with shitfaced friend (excuse my French:-)so the next day I found out that she took him home and slept with him!!!yep she spreads her legs while saying hi to a guy.I know I sound bitter, but I guess I am. I always told her not to sleep with random guys like hours after she meets them-cause of her safety and health (nope she doesnt use any protection except for a pill) but she didnt listen and I thought ok she knows what I think and shes an adult, but now her behaviour is actually affecting me! Shes 32 she should have a brain and know how to use it! I told her that I was upset with her, but all she said is that she was drunk and doesnt remember anything. Now what Im mad about is basically that she spoiled my chance to get to know that guy better and find out if we could see each other more often. I really liked him and he liked me, but I guess since his alcohol level was going up he went from hating Stepanka (first he was disghusred with her)to ok maybe I could sleep with her, hey its for free and he is a man. Sorry for bothering you with this but I had to went it out.thanx for reading:-)

Hmm. Why AM I fat? I am thinking this one over. I think a little bit is genetic. Both of my parents had a weight problem. Emotional eating is the basis of it. One parent was a binge alcoholic and the other was just an alcoholic towards the end of life. Though us kids were provided for financially. The uncertainty of what you were going be greeted with when we got off the bus was a worry for me. Some of my brothers and sister compensated for it by either being "big drinkers" once they left home, or (1) being an overachiver in his business life (I think to prove he is "good" as the other people-BTW-he isn't fat), or being fat (me). Both parents passed away, my daddy was killed in an accident (when he was drunk) by driving into a moving train when I was 12, and my mom died of cancer 4 years later. I went to live with my sister at 16, and she was into her own thing at that time-drinking and partying due to a divorce-and she wanted me to babysit every weekend. I rebelled! I wanted to party too because of dealing with all of the emotional crap of losing my parents so young. I was thinking, "Party on, because you're next in line!" So I moved out and was on my own at a very early age. I should have stayed there and babysat, as it turned out! At that time I was wearing size 12-13. I thought I was HUGE at a size 12. My sister was a size 8, so to compare myself to her, I was huge. Now I don't see it the same way. So I left her home, partied til I was emotionally bankrupted, and finally called an end to the party at the age of 21! I met my husband and we got married. It's been a tough marriage in some ways. He would stay out when we were first married until midnight-1 am, and he had a hard time getting up to go to work. He would leave me without a car, money, diapers, and cigarettes. So we worked thru all that crap (I left him for about a month when I was pregnant with our second child). I guess he really did like having us around. He straightened up about his own partying and getting to work. It is amazing he didn't get fired. BUT, he turned it into passive agressive behavior. HE would not leave the house for anything! It was a big, big happening when he went to family things. I have gone to many family functions without him thru the years. Until I left him again just a few years ago over his personality issues, I guess with age he mellowed..... He will attend some stuff now, but he usually just sits in a chair watching tv or sleeping! so thru the years, I have tried to be both father and mother to my kids, and I guess I got into the "after the kids go to bed because all this junk is not good for them type snacking". And I drink a lot of Coca Cola. NOT diet Coke. So here I am, 27 years later, overweight by 100 pounds. That's my story. YIKES, I need really do need theraphy!!! I am really not sure I want to post this, but I am going to "Post Quick Reply"....here goesss....click!

Not a single person in my family is obese. A little heavy, maybe. I wanted love and acceptance. I have 3 older sisters and had an oler brother(o d on drugs). When I was little I would watch my mother kiss, cuddle give I Love You's to my brother and wait for my turn. But It never came. I was never invited to sit on my Mothers lap. Than my opinions became "stupid". I made no sense, "you don't know what your talking about". She made fun of me when I cryed. My brother was also an alcoholic and would put me down and tell me how fat my thighs were.(i was only 120lbs) He would tell me I don't deserve to eat the food in the frige or have the eye glasses on my face. Oh, the joy of family. When I was little, I use to sleep with my mother, you guess it, my father left us to be with his other Family. But would pop in with treats of FOOD. Any way, my Mother would make us, her and I, special bologna sandwiches @ nite. She would cut the crust off, spread the mayo just so, and cut it in perfect little squares. We would sit in bed wacth TV and drink milk and eat. Gee I wonder why I like to snack at night? And think so little of myself. Or why I have a screwed up relationship with men. Our eating comes from the same place inside us, how do we "fix" or "fill" that place?

Sean - I followed a nearly liquid diet with some limited cheating and dropped almost 15 #s in two weeks before my surgery. Heck, the day before the surgery I broke every rule and did a pizza buffet with a friend (but severely limited what I ate).. I was afraid that was going to cost me the surgery. It was hard but I cut out all the fun foods - soda, pizza, Panda Express, Pasta, Soups, BEER, alcohol, and marijuana... and even when I traveled, I would still go to Panda Express, but get teriyaki chicken with NO sauce with white rice and drink Water. My doctor had a *very* strict diet, as I guess they get a high failure rate of people who can't lose the weight. But a lot of water, fruits & veggies did the trick for me.

I'm sensing a bit of envy here. We are all only victims of our own choices. Not trying to add insult to injury but perhaps you could have been in control of whether or not they came over? Asked them to leave? Kicked his bag out of the house? What drugs was he on? People who use marijuana are passive non-aggressive. Sounds like he was on either crack/coke/meth or even alcohol. I have crap inlaws too, and I've point blank told my husband to make a choice, me and our family or his family. We haven't had a problem for a long time now with them. (the bad ones) not all of the inlaws are bad. I also work in the Social Service field specifically within the GAL. juvenile protection and I've never heard of DHS removing children for someone elses stash. Further, an on-site drug test could have been administered, and if brother in law admitted it was his bag, then his stuff wouldn't be impacting you. If anyone, a minor posession charge which is a misdermeaner could be issued. A traffic ticket is also a misdermeaner. DHS doesn't take children away for misdermeaner charges, and further "a few small baggies" sounds like its less then 25 grams, and is simply a fine. http://norml.org/laws/penalties/item/new-york-penalties-2

I remember researching this long before surgery. I'm a little over five weeks out now and I smoked again for the first time last week. Since then, I've smoked twice more. Honestly, it is something I will probably always do. I am not a big drinker and my body responds good to weed. I get relaxed and it's something that can really make a night out with friends more enjoyable. As for the munchies, I haven't had any issues. I went to dinner with my friend and had my small plate of food. I ate slow and really relished the taste of it. I actually think I ate slower than I would sober because I was so aware of everything. Honestly, it's not for everyone. I get that some people will always frown upon it. But I personally think alcohol is far worse for you AND for your sleeve. To each their own!

Thank you so much, I think I am getting there by realizing that I have to ditch the alcohol which leads to snacking. I also have to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day at least 5 days a week. Thank you for the support. I hate that this thread has slowed down so much because I really need the support. This has happened to me so many times since being banded the bottom line is we have to follow the rules as you know. Sometimes we self sabotage so I totally understand the I don't know why.

It is easier to point the finger of blame than worry about what our OWN cell phones, air conditioning, gasoline, alcohol, cigarette, food, paper product, etc., comsumption is costing the earth... That makes me wonder...what kind of "burden" do cell phones put on the earth's resources...all that infrastructure...plastic...probably taking advantage of some underdeveloped country's labor supply, too....???

You dont want to mess with the sleeve if you already have had reflux issues. I converted to bypass 2 1/2 months ago and although I wasnt very happy the first 6 weeks I have come around and its not so bad. I do dump on cereal or heavy carbs so I just dont eat that stuff especially in the mornings !!! I can drink alcohol and I dont dump on that. It really varies person to person. I know a woman who has never dumped with the bypass and she said she wish she did !! It is a good deterrent for sure.

I would say my negatives are hair loss, not realizing what rapid weight loss would do to my body (flabbiness), and upper left chest pain (this comes on when I eat too fast and it's very painful). Other inconveniences...having to buy new clothes which can be expensive, having to exercise...lol...drinking expensive protein shakes...and for some reason increased alcohol intake although I don't know why other than I'm happy with my weight loss, can't eat as much so I end up drinking more...idk...but I am very happy with my decision and wouldn't change it for the world!

Oh I just thought of a negative - I hate it when you get stuck while you're out, and find you need a toilet quick smart to PB, and your mouth is filling up with saliva like crazy, and you can't get there fast enough. It's happened to me twice - once I didn't quite make it to the toilet. Suffice to say - embarrasing! Another negative (or maybe it's a positive) - if I am getting 'full' my nose starts to drip. Anyone who's close to me sees me start to sniff and they all look at me like 'ok, stop eating NOW'. Oh and I can't get falling down drunk coz trust me, you don't want to get alcoholic poisoning with the band. Puking from the bottom of your tummy is NOT fun. It can lead to needing an emergency unfill. Again, not sure that's not really a positive though...

That is so important to hear. At another site where I post I was told that it is people like me who never served, who don't understand. I have posted this many times before, so you can look it up. When I was 19, in 1964, I was gung-ho military and tried to enlist in the US Air Force. I failed my physical because of injuries suffered while playing freshman football in college. The last step of the pre-induction physical was a 26 page questionnaire and the last question was "Are you the sole surviving son of a man killed in the service of the US Military". My father was a US Army Sargent killed in Berlin in WW11 on the day after I was born in 1945, so I answered “yes”. I was told that I failed the physical that day and about 3 weeks later a new draft classification card came in the mail with a classification of “4A”. I was ready to serve, though knowing what I know now, I am glad my knee kept me out of that war; Another war in which we dismissed the French. We laughed at the French for leaving Vietnam and we kept laughing at the French until 65,000 of our youth were dead, many times that many more maimed and many times that number who had miserable lives because of much higher rates of alcohol abuse, drug abuse, crime, spousal abuse and suicide than that of the people who did not serve in Vietnam. And for what? We lost. The dominoes never came down. We were fed a line of crap, just like in 2002 leading up to the 2003 Illogical Illegal Iraqi Invasion. When will we learn? Aren't you glad you asked? I contributed my father. Can you top that?

I don't like the taste of alcohol, but I love me a good amaretto sour - Disaronno, of course. I PBed today. Happy anniversary to me. But when I weighed this morning I was down another 4 lbs which makes a year total of just under 130lbs. And I'd drink to that!

That is a fad diet. It is a myth that you can “reset your pouch.” It was invented by someone selling products on the Internet and is not based on science. You need to go back to basics which are eat dense protein first, followed by non-starchy vegetables, weigh and track your food, don’t drink alcohol or soda, cut out simple carbs & processed food, don’t drink during and after meals, limit snacking, and go to therapy if you’re struggling with emotional and/or binge eating. As well, if you’re gaining or maintaining, instead of losing weight, you’re consuming too many calories. As you lose weight, your body requires less calories to subsist.

Well as I said before, I'm not Dr. Phil's biggest fan but I knew his opinions on the matter so I used some of his wisdom. I'm not going to argue it anymore because it's futile in my opinion. We all come here from different backgrounds and types of families and when you've been raised in one of alcoholism/chaos/violence you tend to be more sensitive to it, brandyII.

Why am I fat? Wow, great thread. I, like some others, didn't have a very good childhood. My mom wasn't around a lot when I was little and to compensate, I ate. When she was around she would harp on everything I ate, saying stuff like "don't you know bread makes you fat?". I know in her mind that she was trying to keep me from being overweight, but it just made me feel bad and I started sneaking food. We lived with my great-grandmother and one time she had made two pumpkin pies. When they were cooling, I took a fork and ate the center out of both pies! I got chased around the house with a switch for that one! Another time when I was in the 4th grade, one Friday my mom bought like a month's worth of groceries. She and my stepdad went out of town for the weekend. By the time she got back on Sunday, I had eaten pretty much everything she had just bought. I even threw up, but that didn't stop me. I got into so much trouble for that. As a child and teen, I never learned to eat correctly. In high school, when I wanted to loose weight, I would starve myself. I was athletic and I would exercise like crazy. In the summer, I would gain about 30-40 pounds and then have to loose it all over again when practice started. I've yo-yo'd my entire life. After high school, I got married and stopped exercising. That's when I really started packing on the pounds. I've gained and lost the same 80 pounds numerous times. I truly believe that mine is an addiction no different from an alcoholic or a drug addict. I do it to medicate myself. Addiction runs wild in my family. My grandmother was an alcoholic as was two of her four children (not my mom, her addiction is food as well), my grandfather gambled, and several of my cousins have issues with alcohol and drugs. I thank God that my addiction was food and not drugs or alcohol. That could have so easily been the case. I still have issues but I'm working through them. I have been married to a great guy for 15 years. This has given me the stability that I so greatly craved as a child. My children, thank God, are growing up in a stable, loving home with both parents. When I have a bad day, the first thing I think of is food; however, after the band, I'm dealing with it in other ways. I don't think of food as often and I don't seem to want it like I did. I feel so blessed to have been given this great tool. My emotional scars are deep, but I'm working every day to overcome them. It will be something that I have to take one day at a time for the rest of my life.

I could blame genetics because most of my family is obese, but really it's my fault. If I didn't eat junk for everyday I would be this way. It is really an addiction. An alcoholic or smoker can give up alcohol and cigerettes but we cannot just give up food. Though I guess I could give up the junk food. But I am getting the band next Wed. and I am hoping for a big change!

Thank you all for being so brave and posting your thoughts. One thing that strikes me as I read is that many of us are dealing with a great deal of pain in our lives -- past, present or both. And, unlike the alcoholic or drug abuser we all wear those problems for everyone else to see!!!! What I want more than anything is to "fit" into the world. At 292 I can't sit on a bus, train or airplane and feel uncomforable in restaurants and other public places. I've lost and gained 50-60 pounds 3 or 4 times in my life, always putting it back on and more. The last time was 3 years ago when I lost 55 pounds. I was doing spinning and yoga classes and the gym and went hiking in Colorado. I wasn't even near my goal weight but I could live a life. I hope the lapbanding can give me that back again and help me keep from regaining the weight this time!!! Good luck to you all. Mags

I have posted here several times, but I haven't told my story yet. So here I go. My father raised us to eat everything on our plates, no matter what. But I can't say that I blame him. We were poor, and we had to make due with what we had. We also got food stamps, and of course those never lasted all month. So I guess his thinking was we better eat it while we had it. But he always made sure we had enough food to eat. Then my parents divorced when I was 9. My Mom then married a mean man, who had 2 boys of his own that he was raising alone because their mother had died when they were very young. He was a mean abusive alcoholic who didn't want to keep a job. My mom worked as a cashier in a grocery store and did the best she could. But with 7 of us, food was always very limited. I remember eating plain corn flakes with no milk. (To this day, I can't even stand to look at a corn flake box). We also ate a lot of the same things all the time, like beans and potatoes. I remember we ate spaghetti so much that one day, I was so sick of it, I just started throwing up. But it seemed no matter how little money we had, there was always enough money for alcohol. My father was also an alcoholic. I didn't get to see him for about a year after the divorce. I had always been a daddy's girl, and I can still remember how miserable I was that I couldn't see him. But then he got visitation, and I got to see him every weekend. He drank a lot, but he always managed to work and he really was a good father, in spite of the alcohol. (Unlike my step father). Then when I was 10, I was sexually abused by an uncle, my mom's brother (he was also an alcoholic). It happened in the middle of the night during the summer. After all these years, I can still remember how terrified I was. Then when I was about 13, my stepdad suddenly straighened up and worked everyday. Things were pretty good after that, not perfect, but certainly much better. He still drank some, but nothing like before. I was never skinny skinny, but I managed to control my weight in my teens. I wore a size 7 for years. I was active. I exercised everyday and I took step aerobics in school, and I loved it. Even though I thought I was fat back then, I had no idea how good I actually looked. Then I turned 18 and everything changed. I met a guy that was older than me and I fell in love, head over heels in love. The type of love that is not good. Against my mother's better judgement, I moved out and in with him. We hadn't even been together 6 months. But hey, I was 18! I could do whatever I wanted! Who cares what my mother thought?! At home, we had very seldom eaten out. But suddenly I was on my own, and I was going to eat out whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted. So that's just what I did. I remember eating Burger King nearly everyday. We also went to huge buffets all the time. I had never really had a problem controling my weight, so I guess I just thought I would stay the same size. Wrong! Needless to say, my size 7's didn't fit for much longer. The guy I was with, he didn't want a fat girl. He was cheating on me all the time. He would go to strip clubs in the middle of the day. I would call his work and he wouldn't be there. Then when he got home, he would lie about where he had been. He was also very controling, telling me what I could and couldn't do. He also had a porn addiction that I didn't realize before I moved in. (Gee, you would think after 6 months you would really know someone). With all that, my self esteem went downhill fast. I looked really good when we met, I mean model material. Everyone told me so. I guess I was sort of a trophy for him. But then I started gaining weight, and I was no longer his trophy. That destructive relationship lasted about 3 years. By that time, I wan't huge, but I had gained about 30 or 40 pounds by then. Looking back, I know I could have done something about it and gotten back into my size 7's, but I felt like I was huge and that it was hopeless. I also had very low self esteem. I was diagnosed with depression, and the meds I was put on only made me put on more weight. During the next few years, I continued to struggle with my depression. Looking back, I see now that there were times that I really needed to be institutionalized. I was suicidal. I couldn't keep a job. The only reason I wasn't homeless was because I lived in a trailor that my Dad owned and I didn't have to pay any rent. I would somehow manage to work just enough to keep the utilites paid. I did really well for about a year. I worked everyday and was doing really good. I guess it was because of the meds I was on. But then I don't know what happened. My depression only got worse. I started doing risky things, shoplifting and sleeping around with numerous guys at the same time. I would party all the time. I dated one guy on and off for about 5 years, but it seems the only thing we ever did was party together and have sex. During all this time, my weight just keep getting higher and higher. I think I was in denial about it for a long time. I wouldn't look in the mirror. I would have to buy new clothes every few months because mine no longer fit. My mother was no help at all. All she ever did was put me down. Of course that didn't help with my self esteem. I did manage to lose about 40 pounds a few years later. But the only reason I lost it was because I was very poor and I didn't have money for food. I lived next to my aunt, and I would go to her house to eat dinner. That was usually the only thing I ate all day. But when I did get a job and was able to afford food, the weight only came back because I hadn't learned any healthy eating habits. I went back to eating out everyday. I met my husband about 4 years ago, and I was heavy then. But he didn't care. He loved me for who I was and didn't have a problem with my weight. He thought I was beautiful. I really think he saved my life. After I met him, my self esteem improved a great deal. I actually started to think I was attractive. I was able to keep down a job, and my depression was actually so much better. (And still is). We got married about 9 months after we met, but our relationship was anything but destructive. I know I can't blame my weight on anyone but myself. I am fat because, like everyone else, I eat too much and exercise too little. But I think just about everyone who had a bad childhood or suffered abuse has some type of problem (or has had), no matter if it's weight, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever. (My sister never had a problem with her weight, but she has turned into an alcoholic and drug addict). But the great thing is we have all overcome our problems and now have this wonderful tool to help us! Thanks for listening!

Allwright - we have something in common being "Wright" :confused: I am here too cking on what my options are and what to expect. So many stories here I think we can all relate to - as no one execpt an overweight person understands our obsession with food. I don't think about it so much as others do - I don't wake up in the morning thinking about what I can eat today - Its just when i start its hard to stop. Just like that drink for an alcoholic - but the problem is we have to eat - it's getting portion control and eating the "wright" things. Like last night, had to p/u grandkids - got on the computer and was on till 9:30 - went to the kitchen to find something to eat (i hadn't eaten dinner or anything since lunch) Drank 2 cups of cran-grape jucie (light) - looked in the fridge and nothing look good or even sounded good, but i was hunger - so ended up eating about a cup of left over rice a roni - and went to bed. couldn't sleep was still hungery got up and made a pbj (plus 3 tablespoons of pb while i was making the sandwich) ate that and slept like a baby - My whole family are night time eaters - I don't think our Mom ever weened us from the bottle ;0) This board and others out there are really good places to get the info on being banded. Good luck on your journey - you will find your answers - Janet