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I was in shape until I graduated HS. I ran almost daily and lifted weights. I was a size six. I felt great. Then I went through a very difficult 7 years with my family. It completely fell apart. My dad left my mom, she tried to commit suicide, my dad went to treatment for alcoholism 3 x and some other ugly stuff. It was right at the same time that I began to live on my own and in college. I ate too much, ate out too often, used food and alcohol to cope with the stress of my family. I did not even notice how fast it was coming on. I recall buying bigger stuff but not really knowing how big I was. I was in denial. I quickly gained 100 lbs. I have then hovered at the same weight (give or take 20) for 7 years. However, I cannot make the needed changes long enough to have successful weight loss. So I guess I am fat because I turned food into a coping mechanism many years ago. I hope to change that on 5/22/12......

:thumbup: TOTALLY ! Used to be not overweight in school, never was "skinny", but used to be "healthy" and a competitive swimmer. But since I started working fulltime, eat out more often, alcohol nights and got heartbroken.. :smile2: I lost balance in exercising & eating. When I feel hurt, the more I don't like to look at myself... I eat to find comfort. :thumbup: Until I realize it, I've lost myself. In a span of 5 years, gained from 130ish to 220lbs...

The Irish say Everyone has a wee bit of Irish in them on St. Patrick’s Day. So being a wee bit Irish today I set off to find out about everything Irish. Even the Obama’s are Irish today. Michelle and her leprechauns dyed the White House fountains green today. Pittsburgh's own Dan Rooney (owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers) was named Ambassador to Ireland today. It’s all about this guy… If you don’t wear green you’ll get pinched by everyone but your boss (sexual harassment and all that). I sent both of my boys off to school without reminding them…no green….BWhaahaahaahaaha (evil laugh). Hey, teenage boys getting pinched by the girls…I think I did them a favor. If you tell people you're Irish they have to kiss you...keep breathmints on hand. Of course, they eat potatoes and corned beef, but they also eat some of this today…I don’t even want to know…haggis… They drink a LOT of this today. This pic is of Guiness beer, but it looks the same as Irish coffee with clotted cream on top…to the Irish, it really doesn’t matter as long as it has alcohol in it…and after awhile the pub bartenders can serve either and no one knows the difference…it’s all good… After a few drinks they run around looking for their Pot-O-Gold… …or if the line at the Port-O-Pot-O-Gold is too long they use this one… Then they dance the Irish jig…and apparently if done fast enough you'll eventually levitate through the air… Then they fall down into the grass and look for these… And if they're really lucky, they'll catch one of these guys...probably passed out right next to them... A toast to you on St. Patty's Day.... For each petal on the shamrock This brings a wish your way. Good health, good luck, and happiness For each and every day. Slainté! (health)

Count me in this group. NO way was I going to skip out on a yummy drink now and then. I'm a total dufus though- I thought I'd change from wine coolers to Mikes Hard Lemonade to avoid the carbonation monster. It wasn't until I read the LABEL that I realized that those are carbonated too. Sheesh, I think Cheri and I are twins......... I just look at a glass bottle (any form of alcohol included) and I'm preggers!

A couple of weeks after I had my surgery I was reading over my discharge papers again and it said no alcohol for at least 24 hours. And my doctor never said anything about alcohol affecting anything that I can remember but I see him next week for a fill and will ask him about it.

I still enjoy drinking. I'm not a big drinker, but maybe a few times a month we'll go out for drinks. I have noticed it takes alot less to get me buzzing lol, but that's probably because I'm drinking on a much emptier stomach. I generally have to choose between food or drink when we go out, as I don't have room for both. I do generally stick to non carbonated alcoholic beverages though, as the bubbles fill me up faster. My drink of choice was previously vodka, lime cordial and soda Water. So now I just have vodka, fresh lime juice (no sugar heh) and still water.... and for some reason, this helps keep a hangover away too :eek:

Wholey smokes, look at this place... LOVE IT !!!! Anne, your NOT barging in, this site is for everyone, I'm so glad your here. Hope your head is feeling better, I always get sick on alcohol, at most I could drink 2 beers, now thats not even possible. Don't really miss it so thats one thing good I have going LOL. I dusted off my dreadmill too and tomorrow morning my ass will be on it. Enuf playing around, time to get down and dirty How long do you work out on it for? Pat, your car sounds BEAUTIFUL !!! bet is smells purdy. I love the smell of a new car, new babies and cabbage patch dolls hehehe. I love that santa, how cute he is with his little whip :confused: Cindy, all my clothes still fit me. I was stretching them out, now I'm fitting in them comfortably. Good for you for getting the old out and getting new stuff... bet it makes you feel pretty and new. The way every woman should feel. Have fun cleaning what are Mom's for right. John, I think its awsome that you are journaling your food. My gosh, you've done such a marvelous job. I see your struggling with the last few pounds but can I ask you something ????? Could the pounds be from excess skin and not necessarily fat? What ever you do, don't get discouraged like I did when I lost 150 lbs. The last 10 lbs I though was fat was actually lose skin... I got so frustrated that I started gaining b/c I felt it was a loosing battle. Ask your doctor what he/she thinks. Hugs to you my man Betty you always have the best parties to go to. Glad you had fun. 82 degrees OH MY !!!! Its rainy, cold, clamy and cold and cold and cold here LOLOL !!!! snow tuesday too...ick. Can I come visit ? Leslie.... your from dirty jersey LOL !!! no kidding. Where are you from? this is too cool !!. Your in a size 14???? OMG how cool is that. I would love to be a 14. Would be so happy and wouldn't complain a lick. Congratulations !!!!! Well folks, I threw out the chips, Cookies, dip, and tomorrow my rump is on the dreadmill. My mediterranian diet starts tomorrow Friday is my first fill and I am SOOOOOO ready. The past 2 weeks of eating had got me down, but PO'd at the same time. Anger can be a good thing lol. How's everyone doing eating and exercising? Did you start today, tomorrow? whats your plan, whats your dream? My 2006 dream is to be healthy, exercise and get closer to the Lord. I've been drifting and I wanna come home next.....

Why am I fat? Because I have a love/hate relationship with food. I hate to love it and love to hate it. I love all food, healthy food, unhealthy food, bad food, good food, low-fat food, high-fat food. I love it all and deep down I have this fear that if I don't eat it all NOW, it won't be there when I come back and want/need some more. I could eat tiny portions (before being banded) to the point where people wondered why I was eating so little and what was 'wrong' with me, to portions so huge I absolutely ache and feel physically ill from eating so much. If it was possible to just take a pill and never have to eat again, I'd do it. After all, alcoholics aren't forced to have a drink 3x a day to stay alive! Addiction, compulsion, whatever you want to call it, I've got it. I'm hoping the band (and my next <2nd> fill) will help me find my "sweet spot". Every day is a challenge and a struggle which I will have for the rest of my life.

Thank you all for being so brave and posting your thoughts. One thing that strikes me as I read is that many of us are dealing with a great deal of pain in our lives -- past, present or both. And, unlike the alcoholic or drug abuser we all wear those problems for everyone else to see!!!! What I want more than anything is to "fit" into the world. At 292 I can't sit on a bus, train or airplane and feel uncomforable in restaurants and other public places. I've lost and gained 50-60 pounds 3 or 4 times in my life, always putting it back on and more. The last time was 3 years ago when I lost 55 pounds. I was doing spinning and yoga classes and the gym and went hiking in Colorado. I wasn't even near my goal weight but I could live a life. I hope the lapbanding can give me that back again and help me keep from regaining the weight this time!!! Good luck to you all. Mags

I can tell you that my morbid obesity comes from many factors. The main one is family atmosphere. My first memory of life was being sexually molested along with my baby brother. My parents were teenagers and not very interested in responsibility. The molestation continued for 11 years. I sought the approval and attention of a 30 year old at 16 and became pregnant the first time. I was always at work to pay for my baby and my mom gave him to my older sister at 17. I became a heavy drinker and married at 18. I was by then a full fledged alcoholic. Three days before my 20th birthday I became sober through AA. I spent my 20's in therapy. It helped me tremendously! I gave birth to my second son at 25 and still continued with therapy until the age of 29. I continued to smoke as a crutch until I reached 36. On 4-01-2000 I quit smoking and by 8-29-2005, the day of banding, I went from 155 or so to 280 lbs. Eating had always been my source of comfort, but I was always able to keep within 20lb.s or so of a normal weight. This was only achieved through starvation, diet pills, coffee and many cigarettes. My mom always offered food as a source of comfort and it became a way of life early on. My dad was not in the picture and my step fatheres were alcoholics. My younger brother and sister are both practicing alcoholics and not interested in quitting. I am the outsider because I chose a different life and because I attend church regularly. They will come to me for help, but only on their terms and I don't hear from them unless they need something. It breaks my heart because they will probably die in their addictions. They and my mom are obese as well. My father died 3 years ago from a massive heart attack. He was 58 years old, obese and a heavy smoker and drinker. I had not seen him in 10 years. Fathering was not of interest to him. My brother still wants his approval-sad huh? Well I guess I have cried a river, thanks for listening-or reading. I love all of you, you are all great! Rose in Texas not a victim anymore! banded 8-29-2005

I have posted here several times, but I haven't told my story yet. So here I go. My father raised us to eat everything on our plates, no matter what. But I can't say that I blame him. We were poor, and we had to make due with what we had. We also got food stamps, and of course those never lasted all month. So I guess his thinking was we better eat it while we had it. But he always made sure we had enough food to eat. Then my parents divorced when I was 9. My Mom then married a mean man, who had 2 boys of his own that he was raising alone because their mother had died when they were very young. He was a mean abusive alcoholic who didn't want to keep a job. My mom worked as a cashier in a grocery store and did the best she could. But with 7 of us, food was always very limited. I remember eating plain corn flakes with no milk. (To this day, I can't even stand to look at a corn flake box). We also ate a lot of the same things all the time, like beans and potatoes. I remember we ate spaghetti so much that one day, I was so sick of it, I just started throwing up. But it seemed no matter how little money we had, there was always enough money for alcohol. My father was also an alcoholic. I didn't get to see him for about a year after the divorce. I had always been a daddy's girl, and I can still remember how miserable I was that I couldn't see him. But then he got visitation, and I got to see him every weekend. He drank a lot, but he always managed to work and he really was a good father, in spite of the alcohol. (Unlike my step father). Then when I was 10, I was sexually abused by an uncle, my mom's brother (he was also an alcoholic). It happened in the middle of the night during the summer. After all these years, I can still remember how terrified I was. Then when I was about 13, my stepdad suddenly straighened up and worked everyday. Things were pretty good after that, not perfect, but certainly much better. He still drank some, but nothing like before. I was never skinny skinny, but I managed to control my weight in my teens. I wore a size 7 for years. I was active. I exercised everyday and I took step aerobics in school, and I loved it. Even though I thought I was fat back then, I had no idea how good I actually looked. Then I turned 18 and everything changed. I met a guy that was older than me and I fell in love, head over heels in love. The type of love that is not good. Against my mother's better judgement, I moved out and in with him. We hadn't even been together 6 months. But hey, I was 18! I could do whatever I wanted! Who cares what my mother thought?! At home, we had very seldom eaten out. But suddenly I was on my own, and I was going to eat out whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted. So that's just what I did. I remember eating Burger King nearly everyday. We also went to huge buffets all the time. I had never really had a problem controling my weight, so I guess I just thought I would stay the same size. Wrong! Needless to say, my size 7's didn't fit for much longer. The guy I was with, he didn't want a fat girl. He was cheating on me all the time. He would go to strip clubs in the middle of the day. I would call his work and he wouldn't be there. Then when he got home, he would lie about where he had been. He was also very controling, telling me what I could and couldn't do. He also had a porn addiction that I didn't realize before I moved in. (Gee, you would think after 6 months you would really know someone). With all that, my self esteem went downhill fast. I looked really good when we met, I mean model material. Everyone told me so. I guess I was sort of a trophy for him. But then I started gaining weight, and I was no longer his trophy. That destructive relationship lasted about 3 years. By that time, I wan't huge, but I had gained about 30 or 40 pounds by then. Looking back, I know I could have done something about it and gotten back into my size 7's, but I felt like I was huge and that it was hopeless. I also had very low self esteem. I was diagnosed with depression, and the meds I was put on only made me put on more weight. During the next few years, I continued to struggle with my depression. Looking back, I see now that there were times that I really needed to be institutionalized. I was suicidal. I couldn't keep a job. The only reason I wasn't homeless was because I lived in a trailor that my Dad owned and I didn't have to pay any rent. I would somehow manage to work just enough to keep the utilites paid. I did really well for about a year. I worked everyday and was doing really good. I guess it was because of the meds I was on. But then I don't know what happened. My depression only got worse. I started doing risky things, shoplifting and sleeping around with numerous guys at the same time. I would party all the time. I dated one guy on and off for about 5 years, but it seems the only thing we ever did was party together and have sex. During all this time, my weight just keep getting higher and higher. I think I was in denial about it for a long time. I wouldn't look in the mirror. I would have to buy new clothes every few months because mine no longer fit. My mother was no help at all. All she ever did was put me down. Of course that didn't help with my self esteem. I did manage to lose about 40 pounds a few years later. But the only reason I lost it was because I was very poor and I didn't have money for food. I lived next to my aunt, and I would go to her house to eat dinner. That was usually the only thing I ate all day. But when I did get a job and was able to afford food, the weight only came back because I hadn't learned any healthy eating habits. I went back to eating out everyday. I met my husband about 4 years ago, and I was heavy then. But he didn't care. He loved me for who I was and didn't have a problem with my weight. He thought I was beautiful. I really think he saved my life. After I met him, my self esteem improved a great deal. I actually started to think I was attractive. I was able to keep down a job, and my depression was actually so much better. (And still is). We got married about 9 months after we met, but our relationship was anything but destructive. I know I can't blame my weight on anyone but myself. I am fat because, like everyone else, I eat too much and exercise too little. But I think just about everyone who had a bad childhood or suffered abuse has some type of problem (or has had), no matter if it's weight, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever. (My sister never had a problem with her weight, but she has turned into an alcoholic and drug addict). But the great thing is we have all overcome our problems and now have this wonderful tool to help us! Thanks for listening!

Not a single person in my family is obese. A little heavy, maybe. I wanted love and acceptance. I have 3 older sisters and had an oler brother(o d on drugs). When I was little I would watch my mother kiss, cuddle give I Love You's to my brother and wait for my turn. But It never came. I was never invited to sit on my Mothers lap. Than my opinions became "stupid". I made no sense, "you don't know what your talking about". She made fun of me when I cryed. My brother was also an alcoholic and would put me down and tell me how fat my thighs were.(i was only 120lbs) He would tell me I don't deserve to eat the food in the frige or have the eye glasses on my face. Oh, the joy of family. When I was little, I use to sleep with my mother, you guess it, my father left us to be with his other Family. But would pop in with treats of FOOD. Any way, my Mother would make us, her and I, special bologna sandwiches @ nite. She would cut the crust off, spread the mayo just so, and cut it in perfect little squares. We would sit in bed wacth TV and drink milk and eat. Gee I wonder why I like to snack at night? And think so little of myself. Or why I have a screwed up relationship with men. Our eating comes from the same place inside us, how do we "fix" or "fill" that place?

Reality sucks sometimes, doesn't it? :sad_smile: The fact is, many people DO believe all their problems are due to their weight. It's a hard reality when we find out that the weight was just an additional problem to the ones we already had. I know that adjusting to my new body (when it happens) will be exciting and scary at the same time. I know that I must address the issues that made me overeat. Many people replace overeating for overdoing something else: shopping, exercising, gambling, sex addictions... all sorts of things. Which creates all NEW problems. My sister is like that. She was a bulimic. Now I believe she has that under control, but she is (I believe) an alcoholic. And when I saw her this past summer, she was WAY overdoing the exercise thing. It was absolutely manic. So long as we know these things going into this journey, we won't be surprised or potentially even more depressed in our thinner selves. I think it's very important that we heal the mental self as much as we are working so hard to heal the physical self. No matter how great thin feels, there was still something within us that drove us to get fat. Heal that as best you can and you will succeed in the long run, in my humble opinion.

Hi Violets~ How's everyones weekend going? Ours is uneventful. All our kids made it to Vegas safely, and are all attending a show together tonight, then hitting Margaritaville together. Lucky brats!!! We took the folks to breakfast this morning, then spent the day winterizing things. We covered swamp coolers on the rentals, and for both parents, and did the chimney sweeping thing...well Rick did that, I cut the Dads hair. Then come home, and vegged, did not even get our own done!!! Maybe tomorrow! Grabbed some quick dinner at the local A&W, and now we are just sitting around letting Kinsey entertain us! TracyK--so sorry about your nephew Hon, your family is hurting through all of this, and I hate that! I do hope he is improving soon, and I am so thankful you got Macy out of the way, he could have hurt her without ever intending to. Pamela---enjoy your time with Susanne, I love your earrings!!! Terry---I have mostly good neighbors, there are some exceptions!!! The crazy lady I told y'all about!!! And then right next door there is an older couple who own a local real estate agency, with several office branches---and they are SOOOOO much better than us, just ask them!!! Actually the husband, is pretty nice, he had heart valve surgery not long before Rick, so he comes around and talks, she would not lower herself to mix with us rif raf!! Otherwise, it is a great neighborhood. It is in high demand, houses do not stay on the market long. It is an older neighborhood, most of the houses being built in the 50's & 60's. I love it here. I actuall lived in this house in High School. My parents bought it in the early 70's, for under $20K!!! Then they moved into a bigger home, and rented this one out. When I come back here following my divorce, I rented it with an option---by that time the appraisal on it had quadrupled---and it appraised and sold to me for $84K. Then I rented it out when we went to Denver with Rick....then we moved back here and decided to just live in it!!! Then the government finally turned loose of some property behind our houses on this block, that used to have a railroad on it that quit running back in the 60's. Gave us an option to buy the land adjoining ours. Our houses are the last row of houses, butting up against school property and BLM land. We have lots of wildlife, and yet are only like blocks from down town! With the addition of the land, we are now on 3 city lots, and our last appraisal for insurance come in at $283K. Quite a jump from what my folks paid back then $19-$283!!! We have some property out of town, but it adjoins the land his parents live on, so we are not willing to move out there just now, they like to monopolize him and his time if allowed anyway. Eventually we will likely move out there and build. Rick wants a bigger shop, and when we have big gatherings, like holidays we have a lack of space---both in the house, and parking wise. We jokingly call it our 5 year plan, because in 5 years, everything else will be paid off, and the child we battled over in court will be 19---and her mother will be out of our lives! Then we will do it! But as for the neighbors, it is nice. I can always borrow an egg if needed, and have someone to watch my house when I am gone. We do gather for impromptu parties some in the summer. Good people. The ones right next to me are the worlds biggest alcoholics I think! But it doesn't affect me, they never have infringed due to it...so I let them be! They go through over a case of Coors Light a day, between the 2 of them! Is Judy gone again? I remember reading about her busy schedule, but thought they had awhile before their next cruise. Miss seeing her! Laura, hope the girlie is feeling all better!!! Was DH surprised by the additional jewelry?? LMAO! Well I am off to play Barbies!!! We bought some new ones and a jeep today, maybe I will get to drive!!! wooo hooo!!!! See ya in awhile! Kat

Ok ladies. .... So ... I just spent the am in the bathroom. I have not had fibersure in 3 days, it was not working, but.... here is a question... does anyone know if crystal light has sugar alcohol? The only thing I have done different 2 times, the 1st being when i started fibersure, and the 2nd being yesterday afternoon because I ust got more was drinking tons of crystal light rasp green tea to go packs. And when I say tons, I am talking about 80oz a day. I couldn't even eat more than a few bites of my eggs this am because i felt like i was going to die, and had a green tea on my way out this am. I know... TMI.... but I don't understand why i'm not working right! off to lie in the sun, mower is dead as a doornail!

Oh Jenn -- I also meant to ask.... your doctor/group says no coffee, alcohol or soda for a year??? I never heard that!!! ....except for the soda. Wonder what that's all about?

I'm not a big fan of alcohol, but I've found 2 things I like now.. Dirty martini (which is vodka so nah). And then Blackberry Merlot. It's like bottled candy! And it's wine. I think we get Arbor Mist, gas station and cheap LOL. But it's very good.

Hi all! How has everyone been. I've had a busy past few days. Well, I finally got my fill on Saturday. So here it goes: My fill was scheduled at 9:30 a.m. so I figured I should skip breakfast. No one told me to do it but I just went ahead and did it. I got there and she cleaned the area with alcohol. I did NOT lie down. It was standing. I stood behind the x-ray machine and lifted up my shirt and tucked it under my bra. I could see my port on the screen when they turned on the machine. She located the middle of the port by using a long metal rod and just moving it around my port area on my skin. Once she located the middle of the port she marked it with the tip of her marker. She then gave me a numbing shot. That didn't really hurt. Just like a little ant bite. Then I saw the fill needle. OMG it looked huge. I turned away while she inserted it. It miraculously did not hurt. So then she put in 2.5 cc's. She gave me a tiny little bit of barium and asked me to drink. You could see the liquid gathering in my little pouch! She timed how long it took to flow through and then she decided that 2.5 cc's was too much. She pulled some saline out and left 1.7 cc's. She then asked me to sip some more barium. She was satisfied with how long it took to get through. She then gave me 8 oz of water to drink and she had me drink them while the needle was still sticking out of me!!! So I'm standing there with this huge needle sticking out of me! Too funny. Took me a little bit to drink all the water. I could feel the tightness. Finally when I was done drinking then she went to go remove the needle. OUCH! THAT HURT. That was the only part that hurt. I rode laying down all my way home because I felt sore in that area. I felt sore for the rest of the day but there was no bruising. I did warm or room temperature liquids for the rest of Saturday. Sunday all day I had mushies. I could feel some definite tightness. I felt like the third day out of surgery. On Monday I had an runny scrambled egg for breakfast and then I had one hamburger patty that I nibbled on for the rest of the day. This morning I had 4 oz of cottage cheese with a handful of rasberries. Also, Saturday and Sunday I did not get all my water in. I was having to take tiny sips and I only drank like 30 oz each day. Today I am doing good with my water. I will reach my 96 oz by the end of the day. I noticed on Monday that if I don't chew very very well it fell like the food was going down like barbed wire. I had gotten used to being able to eat reguarly and then this brought me back to having to follow bandster rules! I will see what happens for the next few days and keep ya'll posted!

Jenn--there are just a few issues with banding and alcohol that you need to keep in mind (not on your vacation--not trying to rain on that parade!!!). #1. alcohol is empty calories, and flows through quickly---with no nutrients. #2. We have to be very careful not to swap one addiction for another...food for alcohol. We used food to celebrate, to mourn, it was always there for us, and when it suddenly isn't able to be anymore, it is pretty common for us to substitute something in its place, be it exercise, or booze. and #3. Once you reach good restriction, if you have anything else in your pouch, alcohol can be sitting in the small space for some time, and it is not kind to delicate tissues, so has been linked to ulcers. This is not to say you cannot go out and have a drink, or several! I have a margarita quite often at a little mexican restaurant we go to--it may be affecting my weight loss when I do it, but we have a nice evening, and it isn't a daily thing. I wanted the band to live as normal of a life as possible---and that for me includes occasionally having a drink, or a glass of wine. I may go months between them---but I don't want to be told I can't!!! Bottoms Up!! Kat

Hi everyone! I lost my last dang post! I don’t know what happens. I hit something with this laptop and the post just goes away! Anyway a lot has happened with you all since I have been gone. About a month since my last post! Too long, I know. We were camping and spending all free moments out in the sun, now we are in Canada. It is wonderful here. My DH and I have been here about 9 days now and are leaving in two. He is here for work and I am here for a vacation from work!! I have been lying around the pool, and shopping… it has been nice except for all the eating out! I am doing well on eating but have really been indulging in alcohol! Which is so bad, I know….. all the liquid calories! I have been swimming and went to the gym a couple times. I have gotten 3 fills this far and have a total of 4.1cc’s in my band. I am probably overfull since I can only eat a little more then an ounce of food at one time and have been sharing all my dh’s food with him. I can not eat meat unless it is baby size bites, bread is the same thing, but I am ok with salads and soups. I don’t want any taken out because for the first time I can feel my cloths getting bigger. TracyinKS – congrats on the wedding!! I had no idea! Wedding planning help and lovin all at the same time what a lucky girl!! Laura, That is awful about your honeymoon!! I would be so dang angry! I miss chatting with you all!! I am heading to the gym now thanks to your encouragement! Angie

Dammit---I just lost my post! Aaarrggghhhh!!!! Denise, I would suggest holding off on the fill. To do it on top of a serious PB is asking for trouble I am afraid. When you add the stress you are under to that....it seems a bit iffy to me. I know we all want our weight ALL gone like NOW---but sometimes if we try to rush it too much, and get too tight, it causes serious problems, and only slows you down in the long run. I did not lose my weight this far in record time, but I am losing it, and I am not so tight, that I cannot eat. I was reading TracyK's post, and pretty much I could eat any of the things you mentioned---I cannot eat a lot of it...but enough so that I don't feel deprived by being unable to have any of it! I am terrible with being deprived though, that is when I will binge. To tell me I could have none of that, would have me to the bottom of an ice cream carton in nothing flat!!! I am much better if I can have a few bites of the ice cream, and a bowl of sausage gravy, or whatever....regardless if I only eat a few bites of it...knowing I can have it, makes the difference to me! I applaud you girls for dealing so well with that level of restriction, I have steadfastly refused to be that tight. Remind me of this when you all reach goal, and I am still losing half a pound at a time!!! Denise, as for your DD---you poor thing! Does she really deep down think that you kicking her out, is just a temporary fight between the 2 of you? My DD and I can push each others buttons like no other! Lucky for me, we never had the issues you are dealing with---but it only brings to mind the thing my Great Grandma used to say---there but for the Grace of God goes I. A single change in anything and it could have so easily been. Her father is an alcoholic, as is my brother....she could be too. She refuses to drink a drop...she is scared of it. Where does your DH stand on this? I lost my post when I went to your profile to remind myself of your marital status etc. Sorry my brain is old!!! So...you are remarried, is he involved in the battle with DD? What about her father---where is he? And her sister? What is her take? To me those are the closest ones to the situation, they are being hurt by her actions too I am sure, but do they support the decision you made? Will they back up the tough love? My brain says you have to show her how serious you are, but my Moms heart is exactly where yours is....I know the fears you are dealing with. I wish I had answers. Any hope of catching a meeting before having to answer her question about coming home? Sorry I have more questions than answers Denise!!! ((((hugs)))) Kat

Harsh? No, Ignorant of the facts in her life at the time, yes. That child would have been doomed to a life suffering from the mothers mistakes, born addicted to drugs and alcohol, born into a life of pain and anguish. Shortly after she had the abortion she put herself into rehab, cleaned up her life and left her ex. That sequence of events was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. Starting with aborting a child that was a part of her. You can say she took the "easy irresponsible" way out all you want, you do not know her, you do not know how much this choice haunts her. But she knows she made the right choice. She lives her life now for her unborn child, her sobriety her choosing to move forward and leave the relationship she was in was for this child's memory. In the end the ONLY person she has to answer to is her God, not you, not me, not some poor stuttering protesting schmuck on the street. Until you are in her shoes, you can't honestly pass judgment on her choices in life. Isn't the bible the one that states "let he who is with out sin cast the first stone"?? You got a handful of pebbles darlin, but I don't see your halo or wings anywhere.

I have been on this since since the summer of 2013 and I am almost at 3 years post-op. I will admit that I read the posts that go wildly south when someone gets their feelings hurt, I giggle behind my computer, and for the most part I try not to engage, although there has been a time or two where I have felt the need to defend myself or someone else and I'm sure I upset people. I don't really care. I am who I am and this is the internet- if you don't like what I have to say, get over yourself and don't read it. I don't remember the last time a post actually offended me...usually I think the drama is kind of funny and some days I just skip over all the fighting posts to get to the end so I can reply to the original comment with something I hope is a little helpful. Past that, I try to respond to the "I ate chocolate cake at 2 weeks post-op" with "it's not going to kill you, medically you're fine, but that isn't going to help you lose weight" as opposed to "OMG you broke the rules, you're going to die and go to bariatric surgery hell". I didn't follow all the rules. I use straws. Straws will not freaking hurt you and the people who debate it because their surgeon told them not to use straws and they have no understanding of how the body actually works make me roll my eyes. lf you want to do drugs, unless you are ingesting them shortly before or after surgery, no, smoking pot and shooting smack have nothing to do with your stomach- you might die for totally different reasons, but it's not the sleeve that's going to kill you. Posts where people place their own judgement on the use of drugs and alcohol instead of medically assessing the situation with a knowledge of physiology exhaust me. Don't judge someone because they sin differently than you- give them an honest answer to their question and if you really don't know the answer from a medical perspective free from bias, don't make crap up- that is not helpful. If you want to eat junk, go for it- it's your success, not mine, but in the majority of "I ate this bad thing" posts on here are not actually going to physically hurt you when you are a few weeks post-op. You won't lose weight and you'll feel like garbage, but 95% of the time (again, within a reasonable time after surgery), medically these people are not hurting themselves any more than a regular person who eats stuff they shouldn't. If they want bacon and cake at 6 weeks post-op, have fun...who am I to tell them how to live their life? I don't personally have a problem with the site, although I suppose it is probably because not much offends me. In the three years I have been on here, there have been two comments from veterans that I specifically remember made me feel the need to reply in my defense, and both times what could have been escalated into an actual internet fight, never did because two adults were engaged in a debate and they then moved on. I happen to really like both of these people and I think they bring a lot of value to the discussion- just because they don't always agree with me doesn't mean that they are wrong, that they should be censored, or that their opinion is not valuable. If people want to be trolls and say mean things, then ignore them, the way you do in real life, but if someone doesn't agree with you, it's not a personal attack, it's just their right to have a different opinion. Lively debate is fun when adults act like adults and participate appropriately, however when people start calling each other names and crying about their feelings being hurt, I feel like I'm in pre-school and someone stole their legos. Be a big girl or boy and go take your damn legos back. Don't be a victim, but don't be a jerk. I have zero interest in a world or a discussion area where everyone gets along...that degree of groupthink adds no value, I just think the problem exists when people get bent out of shape and respond emotionally instead of rationally. If you don't like what someone says, let them know or move on...why cry about it? I like BariatricPal, I like most of the people that I regularly engage with, and I don't much care if people don't like me. I am an anonymous person behind a computer...if you don't agree with me, cool, let's debate, but if it gets to a point where you are sincerely upset and can no longer engage in conversation like a mature adult....there is this magical "x" on your browser. Use it.

Well, I had surgery on the 12th but when the dr cut into me, he seen my liver didn't look right, so he took a biopsy of it and my gall bladder and my spleen and my intestines. Long story short...they found that I have non alcoholic fatty liver sirrosis.. stage 3. The dr said doing a bypass would have killed me... but I can get the sleeve done. the only thing that will help my liver is to lose weight or I will have to have a transplant. So, I go back to my surgeon on the 20th and I am hoping we can get right on to the sleeve, and not let any more time pass.

Alrighty. So am back from vacay. This was my first real "indulgent" vacation since going into maintenance. I've been on a couple road trips since deciding to stop weight loss, but those were weekend trips and not all-inclusive ones, nor was I surrounded with endless food and drink. So how did it go? Well, the lead up to the trip had a little fear-of-the-unknown going on. I worried that I would have nothing healthy-ish to eat and I'd strave, or, that I would eat everything I see like I did pre-wls. Turns out there was nothing to worry about. Was there a lack of healthy-ish choices? No. There were always choices everywhere I went that fit into my normal eating (salad, grilled chicken or some protein), whether it was on the resort or off it. So I didn't have to pack all those packages of beef jerky, chicharron and protein powder, lol. The kids ended up eating my jerky and chicharron and I gave the protein powders to a bartender. Did I eat everything I saw? Yes and No. I did sample many things that I normally would not eat (I'm talking to you sugary desserts, fruits and some bread-like products), but only bites, not full portions. My restriction took care of that. Also thanks to my restriction, I learned after the first day that I need to pick and choose what I want to sample, because I literally have no room to try everything (I had to hurl twice the first day due to eating too fast and too much). So I only tried the stuff I really wanted to, and if after sampling it, it was only OK tasting, I'd put it aside. Only really yummy stuff got a second or third bite. It's sobering to realize that a lot of stuff really only looks good, and just tastes meh. However. I drank alot of alcohol. I did limit myself to maybe 5-6 mixed drinks of the super sugary kind (I'm talking to you pina coladas and margaritas) for the entire trip, but I was basically a bottomless pit for skinny mojitos and tequila shots. Also, I formed an addiction to these mini chocolate chip cookies that they served in the coffee bar. They were like a version of a not-so-sweet, not-so-buttery shortbread-type cookie with chocolate chips in them. They were about the size of poker chip and I swear I must have eaten at lest 10 of them a day. Along with 4-5 Americanos a day.... I did log everything I ate (to be best of my ability...I had to eyeball everything), and according to the stats, I averaged about 3000 calories a day over the last 8 days. And roughly half those average daily calories came from my cookie and alcohol consumption, yikes. In all, despite the record-breaking calorie intake, I managed to weigh in exactly a mere 1 lb more than before I left. Which means I've at least found my upper calorie level, of sorts* *Though I did run way more than usual though, as well as generally burn more cals what with all the walking/water sports/dancing/heat-enduring, so need to take that into account... So what was the lesson learned? Well, that I'm not going to suddenly explode with massive weight gain if I indulge. But I WILL slowly gain weight back if the indulgence continues beyond a short period of time. 1lb a week over a year is 52 lbs. And that is not acceptable to me. So back to figuring out my sweet spot...