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I dont usually reply to posts but you sound so blue and some how you touched my heart. being in New Zealand my comments seems of so little help as I feel so far away but here goes. We carry so much emotional baggage with our weight and it makes the whole food addicition thing much harder for us to accept. We should equate it more to alcoholism but much worse because we HAVE to eat to stay alive. I have been struggling with a rice pudding which I made as I had left over milk....why I did this I have not idea...but I have just taken it out and fed it to the chickens. It is so depressing and I try to remember what my alcoholic daughter says to me 'mother if I have one drink I will die' and i suppose if we hadnt had the LB and went on putting on weight we would die too. So what I am trying to say is that at least we have the tools to be able to lose but it is a struggle. In NZ we have to have regular check-ins with a psycologist to aid us with the baggage that we carry and it is a help, sometimes.

And Phyll....Yes, you can make a shake out of Merlot. Just make sure to not ruin it with too much ice. You would hate to screw up the alcohol content!

Good Evening Gang Hugs & Prayers for Julie !!! One on my #7 is having her band removed too - partial erosion.. Melissa - Hugs on fight w/DH - but good that you did talk about it- I know that w/my own DH - - on needing a fill - if you eat 4 oz of hard Protein are you physically full... That's the test IMHO.. I think we all eat to a degree softer foods so that we can consume more food - not just junk but veggie too. Take tiny bites chew well and eat slowly and then sit and thing about your stomach - does your pouch feel full.. This doesn't mean you aren't still going to be hungry but your stomach is actually full.. Try it and let me know - OMG my post was really bad spelling ;0) I was too tired to spell ck LOL - I think you have to find out the reason you are killing yourself before you can get better - what's inside you making you eat things you know you shouldn't - I am praying that this shrink will be able to help you get to the bottom of your issues.. Hugs Hugs Hugs.. Cheri - Co-dependency - I truly applied it to our relationships w/an alcoholic or drug person - but I see where it can affect other areas of our lives - I can't say I am a pple pleaser - Yes I like to make pple feel good - but not to the point of putting myself 2nd.. I have taken care of so many pple in my life that IMHO it's my time.. I'm done raising kids putting myself 2nd having controlling pple in my life and boyfriends who were addicted to drugs - hell my xdh was a rescuer - but the problem was I didn't need rescuing - he might have thought I did but - I sure in the hell wasn't helpless and I think this is why the marriage didn't last Like Melissa I truly believe that my eating was my control - it's what I did for me after doing for everyone else - Only other pple who have this issue understand - I know my trainer would say - why when you know it's killing you - I think we just put our heads in the sand - and after a while it's just to hard to think about losing the weight - ie this is where the band comes in play to help - but it's not the magic cure all - it's only a tool to help us - as I alway say the real work is up to us.. Food is our drug of choice and a non food addict really just doesn't understand this.. It's what I controlled when I had no control over all that was going on in my life.. Lori - I am glad you are standing up for you... I love the pic on fb of your GM holding her GGDGD great great darling grand daughter lo)... Apples said she could see the diff in my face - I can a pit - but pictures don't really show the diff that much imho yep enabling and codependency go hand in hand.. Charlene - botox can take a week to come to it's full effect - the filler is immediate - but the swelling last for a bit too.. The only problem with doing this - is you are going to want more and after a few months - it wears off -I can even see where my filler could use a touch up - each person is diff on how their body reacts to this stuff - botox really only lasted me 3 months - I am going to call an get appointment for my eyes - they are what bug me the most - still saggy - I really can't afford a full face lift - and don't want the 2 week down time - so next month I am going to call and get price.. Well dogs want to be fed - Idol tonite :0) Thanks for the props on looking like a hottie ;0) it was nice for my handsome young boss to give me that complement and wore another dress that I got when I met Peaches in LV 3 yrs ago - got told why don't you wear that dress more often... cbl

E60 - Welcome !!! Being pouch full and statisfied are 2 different things - If you have read any of my post - I talk about this all the time !!! I will eat my dinner and will be physically full - but still want to eat - mentally I am not full - this is head hunger and it does manifest it's self in to you thinking you are really physically hungry - but you really aren't cuz if you eat any more you will bp. Your doc is asking if you are pouch full - and yes slider foods (yogurt, ice cream, thin oatmeal, soft veggies anything super soft - for me popcorn is a slider and so are Cookies & chips and cake) are foods that you can eat 24/7 and tons of without restriction as they slide right thru the band.. There is a reason for the band rules - Protein 1st - then veggies and if any room starches - the reason is that you will be pouch full after about 4 oz of meat - you then may get to eat 1/4 c of veggies... Yep Bonnie - tracking forces you to be honest :biggrin: and ya I bet you fell down those stairs on purpose (just kidding - really hope you are OK) A while back I was sitting at the computer with my legs crossed got up to go to bed - well my foot had fallen asleep - and I fell hard on it and hear this snap crackle pop - thankfully I didn't break anything - but I did sprain it... Holly - Thanks !!! You are doing good on your calories & exercise - Keep it up -:rose: and sweetheart - cornbread is bread :smile: and as stated above I think your doctor wants to know if you are pouch full - not satisfied - hell thats why we were fat in the first place - we ate to darn much food - and just like a drug addict or an alcoholic - the amount of food we ate to feel satisfied keep getting to be more and more... Remember the day when you ate 1 candy bar and were fine - I remember I would make a box of rice a roni and I would eat on it all weekend - but prior to banding - that box was gone in one setting :smile: . As to the weakness are you getting your Vitamins ??? that's very important along with your water - I would discuss it with your doctor again - cuz you shouldn't be feeling weak.. Becky - Sounds like good restriction to me - cuz I will get stuck on pudding too if I eat too fast... Yes life seems to revolve around food - all the holidays the birthdays etc and you will also notice how much pple eat and how fast they eat and the whole eating out thing - it's so hard to make good choices - but with proper restriction it's ok to eat that enchilada cuz you won't be able to eat it all- you will box up the left overs and have a few meal out of what use to be 1 meal.. Missing being able to pig out - yep - I hear ya girl on that one - I still miss it and most likely always will - but it's in our heads as you said and as each day passes it does get a little easier as with each pound that is lost you feel so much better and that feeling is better than the taste of the food (well most of the time :biggrin:) Well, gang - I have been to the gym twice today - 4 miles this morning and weights tonite - am charging my Ipod as I type so that it will be ready for tomorrow (NO EXCUSES) so that I can do another 4 miles after work tomorrow - I gotta get these 3 lbs off and fast... I am making soup for dinner - oxtail - cabbage zucchini carrots mini corn on the cob and oxtail's- will be eating soup for lunch the rest of the week and getting in ALL if not Extra exercise - dessert tonite will be strawberries & black berries with some lite whip cream... No more candy or Oreo cookies or real ice cream... Til tomorrow - Sweet Dreams !!! :tongue2:

Hello everyone! I'm back from my trip and happy to see all of you are doing well. Long, congratulations on another great accomplishment -- I think you already deserve the gold medal, but if Janet is making you do another 10 pounds for the gold, I know you will do it. Such a great inspiration! Julie, hope you have other people helping out making pies and ice cream as it sounds like a lot for just you to do! I'm sure it will be a great time. Sounds like fun. Wish I could be there too. Meredith, just another week! That will go by fast! You're doing great, and I know you'll do great after your surgery too. I loved that you "cheated" with olives. LOL. I too love olives and pickles and crave them sometimes, so I completely understand. I was like you when I did my 2 week liquid diet -- I felt great and was so sick of food by that time that I too was happy to get started with my new life. Pam, so happy that you are feeling better. I also love that your boys said "wow" at last. I think it's true that when we're with people everyday, it is harder to notice the changes. I'm sure you'll get lots and lots of compliments at your reunion. Have a great time. Laura, what a nice experience you had with that woman. It's nice to talk in person to another bandster, isn't it? I have one friend that I met on LBT that had the same surgeon as me and we try to get together after the support group meetings to talk and we e-mail several times a week. I guess we're "lap band sisters." Janet, all I can say is "Wowzeeee!" You look fantastic and soooo skinny -- I'd never ever guess you were ever a fat chick. Love that color of your blouse on you -- so pretty with your skin and hair. Laura, so sorry you are still bothered with TOM. Oh my goodness, that's the ONE advantage of getting old. I don't miss that at all. Charlene, so sorry about your hubby's surgery being postponed, but have faith that it will happen before summer is over. Glad they are so careful so your DH is not in danger. Love your Dr. Garth -- saw some new shows recently - he and his dad are great with their patients. Well, I went to the Lake of Ozarks and behaved pretty well, had a delish margarita one night and a couple of other frozen drinks (someone brought one of those tubs you mix with vodka) and they tasted really great (considering I've had no alcohol since probably Nov. or Dec. LOL. I only had two meals that were not strictly on my plan. One was a chopped salad at an Italian restaurant that has a famous parmesean salad dressing and we went there ESPECIALLY for that salad. But I ordered a small and didn't touch the roll or butter, so that was a victory for me. That same night we met some other friends at a pizza place and the only thing I could order was some pasta with a pink sauce with shrimp, so I ate the shrimp and had a few bites of the pasta and then I offered it to another girl who ate some and so I wouldn't eat the rest I opened the salt shaker and dumped enough in it that would make me not want it. But I was bad and didn't get any exercise in (four days). But the good new is, is that my shoulder which has been bothering me for almost 2 months didn't hurt today when I went back to the gym, so I think that 4 days rest was what it needed to finish healing. So, that's a good thing. I won't weigh until my regular day on Tues., so I hope I did okay. But I had several NSV which I want to share. One of my friends I've always thought of as "thin" gave me an outfit to try on. She said, "it's a little snug on me, but I think it will fit you, so try it on. If you like it you can have it." I said, "oh, I don't think that will fit ME." But OMG, it DID! I couldn't believe it. However, like everyone else, when I look in the mirror, I still see the old me, not the new me when I look in the mirror. Well, after that, there was no stopping me. One of the girls had set up a fashion show at the Dress Barn at the outlet mall and I was shocked at what cute clothes Dress Barn has! Well, to say the least, I spent the most money (by a large margin). I was so busy trying on clothes that I could probably have counted it as exercise (only kidding). But too many cute things and I made it into a size 16 without elastic!! Oh what a thrill! It's been over 10 years since I've had on any pants without elastic. So I'm happy happy now. LOL. And, I was able to wear Large tops and even some mediums. That's a big difference from 3X and 4X I was wearing in January. Just had to share all this good news with my friends here on LBT. Thanks to you all for your support every day. I love you all. Linda

Meredith, I was going to OA for a while then all my job crap got in the way i was looking to going back cause it help to be around people who had eating issues. I would say I am a compulsive eater as well. I forgot who it was but someone on this board was talking to me about it. You can go online and get information about meetings and they will send you information as well. I think it is hard for people like our group because our addiction is food and we need food to live unlike people who are in NA or AA who can just put themselves in an enviroment that does not contain the Drugs or Alcohol. I know in OA that is a book and a workbook basically it is the same 12 steps like AA. I did find it informative and like I said once I get settle into my new job I going to get myself back together with a plan of attack to get myself under control and losing again. I have a couple of more days of orientation and then I start working in my dept most likely Thurs so then I will know more of what is expected of me.

Good Evening Gang I was way to busy at work to ck in today - will be that way all week... It was very hectic - just catching up on email - my desk and my gf Diane's - didn't really get much accomplished just pushing paper from one pile to another.. Then I have this $20 charge on Valentine's day on my debit card - I didn't go anywhere that day - so I called bank - as well 1/2 hr later transfered to 3 pple - I was very frustrated - now I have to go to the bank and get a new debit card - they say it was swiped at 6;40 p.m in Rancho Mirage - I have card and I wasn't in Rancho Mirage at 6:40 p..m. Monday had gym got home around 6:20 - So just a icky day.. Didn't want to go to gym - but did... Rhabdomyolysis is the rapid breakdown (lysis) of skeletal muscle (rhabdomyo) due to damage to muscle tissue. The muscle damage may be caused by physical (e.g. crush injury), chemical, or biological factors. The destruction of the muscle leads to the release of the breakdown products of damaged muscle cells into the bloodstream; some of these, such as myoglobin (a protein), are harmful to the kidney and may lead to acute kidney failure. The severity of the symptoms (which may include muscle pains, vomiting and confusion) depends on the extent of the muscle damage, and whether kidney failure develops. Treatment is with intravenous fluids, and dialysis or hemofiltration if necessary.[1][2] Non-physical causes Non-physical causes reported to cause rhabdomyolysis include:[1][2] Drugs of abuse, including: alcohol, amphetamine, cocaine, heroin, ketamine, LSD Linda - Yep being a step parent is really hard - Hugs Hugs Hugs.. Lori - Hope the baby hurries up and comes, those last few weeks are always tough Charlene - I thought fillers only lasted about a yr - we will see ;0) Well gang - I'm pooped - Ttyl

Morning...interesting conversation. Let's just home none of us discover we only have 24 hours left....if I do, then I don't want to know. We need to resume this conversation for Las Vegas. Laura, I found a "duffle on wheels" type suitcase at the Samsonite outlet store in Phoenix. I love it. It isn't particularly lightweight, but I can sure pack a lot of stuff in it and it has a lot of handles so I can grab it many different ways. I took it to Costa Rica and DH and I use it when we need to check a bag and we just need one extra bag that we share. Cheri....getting plastered is fun at the moment, but the after affects aren't really worth it to me. Ug! But I guess you really need to do it at least once to know what it's all about. I have an automatic shut off valve, I drink too much, I throw up. It's sort of like PBing with alcohol. LOL. Off to work again this morning. I know I'm wishing my life away, but geez, I'm not going to miss the weekly grind of getting up, going to work, not having enough time to do what I want to do. Okay, talk to you all later. Eva

Julie, what kind of cookies and bars did you make? I just told my GS I would guide him through making cookies for the county fair (4H). I told him he could do bars, cookies, and a cake. Whew!! He is also showing a calf. Lexapro causes me to have dry mouth. When I was on the Protein Shakes my mouth was so dry I thought I was getting gum disease. That is one of the reasons I went off of the shakes. I use Biotene toothpaste, mouthwash, and spray for dry mouth. I love it. No alcohol so it feels so good. Probably the combination of Cymbalta and the pain meds really dries out your mouth. My DS is almost moved in. He travels alot with his job.....or he is at his new girlfriend's house. He told me the other day he loved her and was going to marry her. WOW! I haven't heard that come out of his mouth in the four years he has been divorced. It must be the real thing. Laura and Jessica.......Medals for both of you! Brave Mommy for the Day! I just bought some NB walking shoes on Amazon. They had the best price. All the reviews I read were five star. I did get the Velcro because I can adjust them better, and I am sick of my laces coming untied even when I double knot them. I sound old, but "it is what it is". Linda......How is Merry? Apples, thinking of you.......how is your arm? Great, you must be having such a good time.....can't wait to hear about it. Gwen......wow, Madrid.....awesome! Janet, Cheri, Laura K, Eva, Jodi, Melissa, Joyce, Judy, Phyl......hope you are having a nice evening. I know I am missing someone....Kurby...HI!

I know most of you probably know this, but I'm going to put it out there in case you forgot. I have not had hardly any reflux since my hiatal hernia was fixed when they put in the band, but when I feel it coming back at all, I go back to what worked before my surgery. I also had an ulcer as a child. When you're stomach and stoma have been irritated and the band is tight, try following the reflux rules as well as the band rules. Sleep with your upper body elevated. Avoid coffee, tea (most teas have acid), fruit juice, pop, flavored drinks of any kind. Almost all of them have acid in them. Avoid things with acid and roughage. Fruit, raw veggies and whole grains irritate (think of sandpaper) and get stuck. Avoid carbs that swell. No bread or cereal (and maybe not rice or pasta). Period. Avoid prolonged bending over and vigorous exercise. Chocolate is one of the worst things you can have. So is anything made from tomatos or oranges. Chocolate relaxes the muscle between the esophagus and stomach and allows food to creep up--especially acid and tomatos, of course, are highly acidic as is orange juice. No alcohol! Period! This is not a good time to be eating peanuts, or any nuts or seeds. Avoid oil and grease and butter and margarine. They float to the top and creep up, carrying acid with them. Check your blood pressure meds. Many of them cause reflux. They cause acid to creep up your esophagus and even your pharynx (vocal cords). Coughing and laryngitis can result. Cut down anti-inflammatories like aspirin and ibuprofen and Celebrex and Naproxyn as much as you can until you are healed. They are major causes of stomach irritation. Too much water also forces acid to creep up. Don't fill your pouch all the way up with food. Milk products coat the stomach but too much, especially combined with acid, is not good. (Think curdled milk.) Prevacid or some other product that stops your body from creating too much acid might be necessary. It works a lot better in the long run than trying to control acid once you've got it. Just saying, guys. I think there'd be a lot less emergency unfills (except for really violent, long-lasting stomach viruses and bacteria), if our disease didn't keep us pushing the envelope with our food choices and quantities. Sip on protein drinks and yoghurt till your body heals. You won't die from doing without these other things. Add them back to your diet very, very slowly. When I first feel reflux, I treat it like an early warning system. It usually means my food choices have been poor and I've been eating and drinking too much and too fast. Just sayin' Cheri

Becky you are doing good on the food only suggestion make your unjury with 100% skim milk (more protein) and add it to your Soups instead of water - that's what I did to boost the Protein.. - I don't think I was eating much for the first few day... Hows the other issue - the tmi issue has that gotten any better :redface: Hi Serenity I'm here for you but warning some tough band love coming your way (Love is the operative word) I am with your doctor - if your band is too tight to let you eat regular food then you are abusing it and with that abuse you could be injuring yourself. Also and not to be mean here but what are you accomplishing keeping your band so tight - you are eating around it anyway. The only person you are kidding is yourself - as I keep saying this battle with our obesity is mental - You just gotta get your mind in the game and quit playing games with yourself. I know all about those games - I have been there done that and even convinced myself I wasn't playing head games with myself:lol: That I didn't mind being fat - that I was happy the way I was - I enjoyed my food - couch and tv. Well that frickin couch food and tv were killing me - fatter and fatter - tired all the time - etc - you know the drill. You have started the journey to get healthy by being banded - but that little devil on your shoulder is telling you that your band isn't working - so just eat around it - it's ok you still are eating smaller portions its' ok eat that baked potato loaded with butter and sour cream - cuz that's all you are eating... Wrong !!!! Do you know how much food I have thrown away - You know those new cute snake packs of Cookies - ya 1 bag 100 calories but when you keep going back for one more bag - those 100 calories adds up.. So in the trash - If I can't control it - it goes in the trash - that's is empowering - throwing the crap away - You are a food addict - the addiction is worst than drugs or alcohol as we have to eat food to live - we can't totally abstain .. You have the prayer - now put it into effect in your life. To nite make a grocery list with healthy food choices (no sider foods) clean out the pantry of all the junk foods. Plan healthy meals for the week bf lunch dinner and 2 healthy Snacks - get a little note book or go online and keep a food diary (dailyplate.com) Call the doc's office tomorrow - get a slight unfill so that you can eat hard proteins - Do you do any exercise - if so what - starting tomorrow at least get in a 30 minute walk (you can break it down to 3 10 minute walks if need be) minimum 5 days of the week. If you can go to the gym even better - walk on the treadmill and then we will have you hitting the weight machines. You will weight yourself in the morning and then you will put the scale away til next Monday morning You will eat healthy for the next week - you will log your calories (keep them between 900-1200) you will exercise just for this week you will make this commitment to yourself You will drink your water or crystal lite (64 oz a day) for the next week. Next Monday if you have followed the plan - you will get your 1st 7 day chip for living a healthy lifestyle.. OK so now what to do when that old devil food is calling you. Don't buy the junk = have only healthy low calorie foods to eat (sf healthy choice fudgecicles - sf puddings - air popcorn) Look for a distraction - get on the computer come to LBT - it's open 24/7 - p.m. or email me - I will usually respond that day or the next (depending on the time 3 a.m i will be asleep and getting back to you when i am awake:lol:) If I am gone for a weekend - you have the other ladies here who will help you. -"you all can say - Oh Janet would say to do this or that" Or Oh we know Janet is going to kick our butts if we eat that candy bar and go over out calorie budget We are a team - We are accountable to ourselves 1st and the team secondly. We are all fat chicks battling the little devil on our shoulders telling us it's just to hard to do this - (Yes I still consider myself a fat chick - cuz in my head I will be forever - I Know that I can NEVER NEVER go back to being a couch potato and a foodie or it will come all back on even with the band) Ok other distractions - go clean the bath room - clean out your drawers - your closet - go wash your face and give yourself a facial. If you want to talk privately you can always p.m. or email me by going to my profile - but there really isn't anything you can say that the others here haven't already experienced (we all have done things that are embarrassing - closet eating bingeing etc) Give me one week - you can do that - small goals is what we are after and all those small goals add up to BIG ACCOMPLISHMENTS :biggrin: BTW - I will be gone next weekend Friday - Sunday - I have been asked to participate on a lap-band patient advisory panel and I don't have a laptop nor do I have Internet on my cell phone - I don't text - my age is showing :tongue:- I am not one who has to be connected 24/7 -OMW my 13 yr GD carries her cell phone to the bathroom with her - my GS who's 17 is on the computer - house phone talking and texting on his cell.. Information overload for me :tt2: You can do this = just one week at a time ok - I am here for you - and yes some days it will be hard - but you are worth the work - you can do this - you have a brain and soul you have more control than you give yourself credit for.. You can and will do this... I have faith in you.. Hugs Janet

Hello all, I thank you all for your kind and warm welcome. I am feeling better since i got on the WW plan and have started dropping a little of the weight before my surgery. Dont seem as depressed today. My doctor's office called today to say they have all of my information together and are ready to meet with me one on one to set up the surgery and talk to the surgeon. YAY! Im so excited. The appt is set for Jan 3rd!!! Jewel, thank you for your sharing your experience with me about being on meds ect. I have been on meds for my bipolar since i was 18 years old and am also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I have quite a bit of a "story" and im sure you guys will hear bits and peices over time as i share it. But this is the last thing i have to "quit". I have stopped smoking after 20 years of chain smoking, i have stopped drugs, and i have stopped alcohol. The last hurdle i have to jump is my food addiction. Which is actually just plain ole addiction for me. I have substituted food for drugs and alcohol and cigarettes. So, now its time for me to conquer my addiction to food. Some people are telling me the lap band is the "easy way" but i havent heard that. I have heard it is still quite a job to lose the weight. I am ready for this change and am ready to do whatever it takes to conquer this. I had a rude awakening when my sister in an email said that she thought my 65 father would outlive me...it kinda hit me hard. Anyway, i just wanted to share the good news about my appt date that is set for Jan 3rd, like i said, Laters Tina

Lori, keeping fingers crossed for your DD...sorry she's not feeling well, but geeze she's got that baby in there and it's got to be pushing on stuff everywhere. I wish her the best. Linda, I have a step son too and I do understand. DH does most of the stuff for him, but I still have to watch what I say on some stuff. Step son will turn 18 in May and then it doesn't matter because most of the problem was with his mother. She would keep Robbie away from DH and I wouldn't allow that. Robbie's Mom is bi-polar and is on and off her meds so you never know what's going on. The poor kid has some issues too but for now it's not drug or alcohol abuse. He's seen the negative sides of that and doesn't want any part of it. Yipee for that. Had a dentist appointment this morning...regular cleaning. Not my favorite thing, but necessary. We watched a cute movie in Spanish class called Valentin. I really enjoyed it, but needed the sub titles. Working at my job a little. They're finally send me stuff to do. Not much else exciting. Hope everyone is good! Eva

A happy and healthy New Year to all! As someone said, we get to do a do-over. Keep sending in all those good results; I plan to join you! Jewel, you must be excited about your surgery. The healing is minimal and soon you will be on your way. I wish there was surgery for the head.... My sister, who weighs 100, but has an eating disorder, does not eat any sugar. Period. Hasn't for years. I just don't seem to be able to entirely eliminate any one thing. Why can't I look at potato chips (for example) as an alcoholic looks at liquor? To know that I just cannot eat that. Can't..won't....well, maybe just a little.... Isn't it funny how someone can be so strong in some areas and the one thing that we DO have total control over (what we put in our mouths) is my weakness. I have a change of attitude coming. I think with more exercise and better meal choices, I will feel better physically and ...emotionally. Is there anyone that is starting over again, like me? judy--hugs to all

Thanks for the congrats guys. I'll probably be going up and down for the next week before the new weight settles in. Thats what usually happens. Jessica, as a Christian who went to Christian schools and sent my kids there and as one who teaches in a Christian school, I gotta say your SIL is nuts. She'd rather do the most unChristian thing I've heard of than get the child the help he needs from a public school? He's probably ADHD with a learning disability and now the hormones are kicking in. And she's too busy and tired trying to raise and homeschool the rest of them to give him the extra help and attention he needs. So she'd rather get rid of him than send him where he can get the help he needs and admit that she's failing him. What misplaced pride. The most generous interpretation I have is that she's having pregnancy psychosis. What a message she's sending to the other children. Screw up, don't measure up to our "Christian" standards and we will get rid of you. Where is her DH in all this? Why isn't he getting her the help she needs? Including psychiatric. I would have the boy thoroughly evaluated before fostering or adopting him. He may be very damaged already from his first home life as well as the second. He may need special placement in a therapeutic setting, particularly if he has bonding issues and PTSD as well as academic and behavioral issues. Reactive Attachment Disorder can make adopting an absolute nightmare. Some of these children are too damaged to be placed in a regular family. If that is the case with your nephew, then we may be judging your sister too harshly. Sometimes these children are actually a danger to their parents and siblings. But like most sociopaths they can present really well to outsiders who don't see them on a daily basis. They can be very charming but never actually bond and feel no remorse over doing wrong or hurting others, only over getting caught. They can be highly manipulative and you end up feeling crazy and not knowing why. I think what you are offering is tremendous and I truly hope it works out. Make sure you have state funding and medical care for this child and payment for any therapy and extra tutoring he might need. I would initially go foster care with him because once adopted you might not have access to funding to provide for his needs. My brother and his wife had to give a young child back to the province because the local social services refused to diagnose the child as having rad and provide them with the support services they needed. They had the child privately evaluated and found out she not only had RAD and PTSD, she was ADHD and had Fetal Alcohol Sysndrome. It killed them to do it but they did not have the training or the access to funds to provide the child with the care she needed and this was the only way they could force the province and social services to provide for her. The two or three years they went through all that were some of the worst times of their life and they felt like total failures. Cheri

Suzie - my sister has been losing very slowly. She doesn't come on here for support and she doesn't actively try to do anything to help the band. She gets frustrated because she hasn't hardly lost anything but then again she doesn't want to listen to me when I try to give her advice. She drinks alot of soda and she likes to go out and party and drinks lots of alcohol. Empty calories!

Okay I've always had mental issues, clinical depression, anxiety, ptsd and a history of being abused as a child yadda yadda (the stereotypical poster child for low self esteem)... But never once did I think losing a bunch of weight would be the sole solution to all my life problems, but yes it has greatly improved my quality of life, health wise most importantly and I wouldn't change my weightloss journey for anything in the world, yet I've always understood no matter what I will always be a damaged person. That is not to say I can't change and I consider myself a work in progress but sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing. Before I always had a child like mind and was considered naive, innocent and easy to take advantage of (but part of me actually knew what was going on, just too meek to say anything and I often play dumb to avoid conflict). I had only been in one relationship in my 34 years of life (that relationship lasted 12-13 years) and when he moved on I just completely gave up on living and hardly went outside for 8 years, just stayed in my room and rotted away and hoped everyone forgot I existed and that I would just eventually die. For years it was told to me that I was disabled and just beyond help and I'd be better off living my days in group homes or facilities for the mentally ill and despite me knowing it was untrue I just gave into whatever everyone said about me until that one day I the found fire and strength in me to turn my life around. 3 years later and everything is much different now, people can't believe I'm the same person. I finally got over my fears and learned how to drive, got a car ,got a job, live on my own in and...got the sleeve which means I dropped a lot of weight. I've grown up and changed a lot...Except in one area where I am very much like a teenage girl. My "love" life. While I'm attracted to men it's like their a whole different species and I don't understand them at all. Even when I was in the relationship with my ex he left me because he wanted someone "in better shape." So I always assumed I'm gross and unwanted with a big part of it being because of the weight. So last summer I weighed about 200 pounds. I had just started fixing myself up more and my mom introduced me to this guy she thought would make a great friend since we were both shy and had similar personalities. Our friendship grew into a little more over the 4 month span but he never wanted anything else from me so I respected that, but he knew I liked him and we had been intimate on a few occasions and all of a sudden he just stopped and just wanted to stay platonic. I later found out that he had someone else but never told me and it crushed me. He said something to the effect of "When you get smaller you'll be a killer and I'll be bummed that you don't like me anymore." Yet the women he chose is heavy set as well and she is 19 years older than him and not to be mean but she is a known drunk, so yeah it was a major blow and I felt like crap. Despite my mom saying "It's not you, just he has his own deeps issues and prefers women who he feels need him." I still took it hard and looked everywhere for some sort of validation as a person and because of it I put myself in dangerous situations. In the quest of opening my eyes and seeing what else is out there, wanting to feel desired and connect with someone... I went on random dates with pretty much any guy who showed interest, even strangers who showed red flags from the beginning by repeatedly insisting I drink alcohol when I said I don't drink or as soon as I got into this one guy's car after talking to him on the phone for 2 weeks thinking he was going to take me out somewhere first thing he did was grabbed my boobs and stuck his tongue down my throat. I tried going to social atmospheres like bars and clubs, but it's really not my thing. I'm just really horrified at this point about dating because I feel like the majority of men are creeps and I'm not sure how to go about finding a decent one or knowing when I'm ready to.

Good morning all! If a good restriction is supposed to put us in the green zone where we feel satiety and not thinking about food, maybe you aren't in the green zone. Just maybe. I'm still trying to figure this out. My goal, I hope, is just like the book says, not having an interest in food. I know I am there sometimes and sometimes not quite. I WANT to be there. I WANT to not be obessed with food. Maybe the band is our antibuse. You know, the drug alcoholics take. I think if someone asks me what I am doing to lose weight I'll tell them I'm on bantibuse. People are looking, but so far no one has said anything about the weight loss. I've drop a size or two but still wear the big pants. If I hold out the waist band on my shorts I can see the floor! Couldn't do that before! Bye for now, gotta go buy pinapple juice! Thanks for all the daily info and support, I sincerely mean that.:car:

thanks bigbaby :biggrin: I've taken so much stuff I just feel weird at this point!!!:wink_smile: I swear the nyquil and dayquil stuff feels like I've just had a shot of something!!! I'm a total lightweight when it comes to alcohol. I stayed home today and worked on my laptop. For whatever reason seems to help since I'm feeling better this evening. Yesterday I was about to die by lunch time.

Hello all! You have been all busy posting, I have been away for a few days, for my son's big day! His wedding was on Saturday, 7/7/07! It was beautiful. I had a food scare, popped a piece of chicken in my mouth down my throat with out thinking. I have had problems with chicken from the start, and I was not paying attention. Well, it hurt and it finally moved after much pain! I did not eat then the rest of the day and as a result the aclohol went straight to my head! I had a rough Sunday recouperating. So, for those of you asking about drinking alcohol, be careful! I had pizza this weekend too, only one slice. I cut it up in tiny peices and chewed it well. My husband did make a comment regardign the bread factor. But it is different texture than a slice of bread or roll. My nurse said not to eat bread now before a fill because once I have it, most likely I won't be able to. So, I haven't tried a roll, sandwich, etc. I read people eating toast, crunchy bread is ok. Dan Your salmon recipe sounds great, I actually have some in the freezer and will try it. Where do you buy wasabi? Pippz great w loss:clap2: Suzzzie I am glad to hear you are doing better!! Glad to be back. I feel like I have been away from my band and need to get on it! If that sounds strange.. I just have had company and so much to do, I have not been focused as much. I have been ok on what I have been eating, but just not sure, if that makes any sense:confused:

It is my belief, and everyone is entitled to his/her own, that we are called to give of our time, our talent, and our treasure. Not one or the other....not two out of three, but ALL of them. The fact is, if all "charity" was from private sources (no government assistance of any kind), there would be little earmarked for treatment of alcoholism and drug addiction, single and/or unwed mothers, high school dropouts, etc. Animals would get more money than victims of STDs. Uninsured children would have little access to eyeglasses, dental care, or medical treatment. Because people are way too quick to judge. They don't want "their" money spent on cigarette-smoking, unemployed, do-nothing, hangin'-out-on-the-corner, lazy, good-for-nothing, trailer trash. So the government, in its infinite wisdom, takes a bit from everyone and puts it in a big pot called "welfare". And they dole it out. Very reluctantly. After the people it's supposed to help jump through lots of hoops. And show a proper degree of humility....and appreciation. What a sad, sad bunch we are.

they wouldn't send me home with a precription for the dex, so I'm still in the "test" phase. I can only hope they got the numbers that I need. Yesterday I had another one of those frantic freaker/tweeker episodes. Heh, I'm sure I'd be arrested for being intoxicated in public! I ended up walking in a circle in my kitchen for over an hour... When my brain started to work again, I taught my spud boy how to make a drink for me. He's not wild about giving me booze, but alcohol and cortisol "eat" each other, so I can only hope that one or more stiff drinks will bring me out of it. I'm so tired of this. I went to bed lastnight at about 3 am, was wired until about 4:30, up again at 6am and then at 8 am again. I am pretty sure this UFC will be really high, but I don't "need" any more high UFCs.... And I'm rambling again.

I had the SF Russell Stovers Coconut candies, and I did fine. Only have one because sugar alcohols can give you killer gas pains. Good luck to you.

Hello everyone. I'm a band to sleeve revision scheduled for May 16th! Getting here has been a long and often miserable road. I am so excited to be beginning this new journey. I really messed up by not being prepared when I had my band put in and that is not going to happen again. So, I spent some time today compiling of list of things to get in the next month. It's suited to my tast so there is no pudding and only vanilla flavors (no chocolate or strawberry). Also, everything is pre-packaged (making it more expensive) because I have two kids who keep me extremely busy and a husband who works all the time. I quit drinking carbonated beverages and caffeine a couple of months ago and gave up alcohol (almost completely ) in January. I never though I would be able to do that (of course I am really fightin replacing with eating)! Anyway, just in case this may help someone here it is: For Day of Surgery Ear plugs Eye mask Chapstick Warm blanket Ear buds for TV Gas X (couple of different forms) Slippers or Socks Belly Binder Nightgown Belly bear or pillow Phone charger Milk of Magnesia For Weeks 1 and 2 May 16th – May 31st 21 Carnation Instant Breakfast Vanilla (Pre-made) 28 Fat free or low fat cream Soups (strained before eating)(see list at end) 28 No sugar added Greek Yogurts 3 Cartons chicken broth 3 Cartons beef broth 1 Carton skim milk 14 Jello snack cups 6 Cans crushed pineapples in Water or light syrup (for smoothies) 7 Bananas (for smoothies) 1 Carton OJ (for smoothies) 6 Mangos for smoothies For Weeks 3 and 4 June 1st – June 14th 1 Large box of quick Quaker Oats 14 Fat free cream soups (see list at end) 21 No sugar added Greek Yogurts 14 HMR or Healthy Choice etc. frozen dinners (to put in blender) 1 Spinach (to put in blender w/ frozen meals) 1 Broccoli to put in blender (to put in blender w/ frozen meals) 1 Box of instant mashed potatoes 14 Prepackaged snack cups of unsweetened apple sauce 4 Cans of chicken for chicken salad 1 Jar of Hellman’s low fat mayo Vitamins and supplements Mulit-Vitamin – Bariatric Advantage Convenient Daily Packs (30 day supply) Biotin – Nature’s Bounty 5,000 iu Protein – unjury unflavored, Unjury strawberry sorbet, and Unjury chicken Soup Vitamin D – highest dosage (I'm African -American (so my Vit D is always low) but with enough other stuff mixed in that my mom has osteporosis. Go Figure!) I also already have every heartburn medicine (both OTC and prescription) at home but if you do not probably good to have it on hand. Tylenol - liquid or chewables if I can find them. I get migraines so I am sure one will hit me. Cream soups may include from Campbell’s Brand – FF Cream of Celery, FF Cream of Chicken, FF Cream of Mushroom, FF Broccoli cheese, Healthy Request Cheddar Cheese Soup, Cream of Potato Soup (sparingly)

I have a question, the doc said no alcohol for 1 yr and others say 6 mo and sooner. What does it do to you (besides get you drunk).