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I have posted here several times, but I haven't told my story yet. So here I go. My father raised us to eat everything on our plates, no matter what. But I can't say that I blame him. We were poor, and we had to make due with what we had. We also got food stamps, and of course those never lasted all month. So I guess his thinking was we better eat it while we had it. But he always made sure we had enough food to eat. Then my parents divorced when I was 9. My Mom then married a mean man, who had 2 boys of his own that he was raising alone because their mother had died when they were very young. He was a mean abusive alcoholic who didn't want to keep a job. My mom worked as a cashier in a grocery store and did the best she could. But with 7 of us, food was always very limited. I remember eating plain corn flakes with no milk. (To this day, I can't even stand to look at a corn flake box). We also ate a lot of the same things all the time, like beans and potatoes. I remember we ate spaghetti so much that one day, I was so sick of it, I just started throwing up. But it seemed no matter how little money we had, there was always enough money for alcohol. My father was also an alcoholic. I didn't get to see him for about a year after the divorce. I had always been a daddy's girl, and I can still remember how miserable I was that I couldn't see him. But then he got visitation, and I got to see him every weekend. He drank a lot, but he always managed to work and he really was a good father, in spite of the alcohol. (Unlike my step father). Then when I was 10, I was sexually abused by an uncle, my mom's brother (he was also an alcoholic). It happened in the middle of the night during the summer. After all these years, I can still remember how terrified I was. Then when I was about 13, my stepdad suddenly straighened up and worked everyday. Things were pretty good after that, not perfect, but certainly much better. He still drank some, but nothing like before. I was never skinny skinny, but I managed to control my weight in my teens. I wore a size 7 for years. I was active. I exercised everyday and I took step aerobics in school, and I loved it. Even though I thought I was fat back then, I had no idea how good I actually looked. Then I turned 18 and everything changed. I met a guy that was older than me and I fell in love, head over heels in love. The type of love that is not good. Against my mother's better judgement, I moved out and in with him. We hadn't even been together 6 months. But hey, I was 18! I could do whatever I wanted! Who cares what my mother thought?! At home, we had very seldom eaten out. But suddenly I was on my own, and I was going to eat out whenever I wanted, as much as I wanted. So that's just what I did. I remember eating Burger King nearly everyday. We also went to huge buffets all the time. I had never really had a problem controling my weight, so I guess I just thought I would stay the same size. Wrong! Needless to say, my size 7's didn't fit for much longer. The guy I was with, he didn't want a fat girl. He was cheating on me all the time. He would go to strip clubs in the middle of the day. I would call his work and he wouldn't be there. Then when he got home, he would lie about where he had been. He was also very controling, telling me what I could and couldn't do. He also had a porn addiction that I didn't realize before I moved in. (Gee, you would think after 6 months you would really know someone). With all that, my self esteem went downhill fast. I looked really good when we met, I mean model material. Everyone told me so. I guess I was sort of a trophy for him. But then I started gaining weight, and I was no longer his trophy. That destructive relationship lasted about 3 years. By that time, I wan't huge, but I had gained about 30 or 40 pounds by then. Looking back, I know I could have done something about it and gotten back into my size 7's, but I felt like I was huge and that it was hopeless. I also had very low self esteem. I was diagnosed with depression, and the meds I was put on only made me put on more weight. During the next few years, I continued to struggle with my depression. Looking back, I see now that there were times that I really needed to be institutionalized. I was suicidal. I couldn't keep a job. The only reason I wasn't homeless was because I lived in a trailor that my Dad owned and I didn't have to pay any rent. I would somehow manage to work just enough to keep the utilites paid. I did really well for about a year. I worked everyday and was doing really good. I guess it was because of the meds I was on. But then I don't know what happened. My depression only got worse. I started doing risky things, shoplifting and sleeping around with numerous guys at the same time. I would party all the time. I dated one guy on and off for about 5 years, but it seems the only thing we ever did was party together and have sex. During all this time, my weight just keep getting higher and higher. I think I was in denial about it for a long time. I wouldn't look in the mirror. I would have to buy new clothes every few months because mine no longer fit. My mother was no help at all. All she ever did was put me down. Of course that didn't help with my self esteem. I did manage to lose about 40 pounds a few years later. But the only reason I lost it was because I was very poor and I didn't have money for food. I lived next to my aunt, and I would go to her house to eat dinner. That was usually the only thing I ate all day. But when I did get a job and was able to afford food, the weight only came back because I hadn't learned any healthy eating habits. I went back to eating out everyday. I met my husband about 4 years ago, and I was heavy then. But he didn't care. He loved me for who I was and didn't have a problem with my weight. He thought I was beautiful. I really think he saved my life. After I met him, my self esteem improved a great deal. I actually started to think I was attractive. I was able to keep down a job, and my depression was actually so much better. (And still is). We got married about 9 months after we met, but our relationship was anything but destructive. I know I can't blame my weight on anyone but myself. I am fat because, like everyone else, I eat too much and exercise too little. But I think just about everyone who had a bad childhood or suffered abuse has some type of problem (or has had), no matter if it's weight, drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, whatever. (My sister never had a problem with her weight, but she has turned into an alcoholic and drug addict). But the great thing is we have all overcome our problems and now have this wonderful tool to help us! Thanks for listening!

:thumbup: TOTALLY ! Used to be not overweight in school, never was "skinny", but used to be "healthy" and a competitive swimmer. But since I started working fulltime, eat out more often, alcohol nights and got heartbroken.. :smile2: I lost balance in exercising & eating. When I feel hurt, the more I don't like to look at myself... I eat to find comfort. :thumbup: Until I realize it, I've lost myself. In a span of 5 years, gained from 130ish to 220lbs...

Not a single person in my family is obese. A little heavy, maybe. I wanted love and acceptance. I have 3 older sisters and had an oler brother(o d on drugs). When I was little I would watch my mother kiss, cuddle give I Love You's to my brother and wait for my turn. But It never came. I was never invited to sit on my Mothers lap. Than my opinions became "stupid". I made no sense, "you don't know what your talking about". She made fun of me when I cryed. My brother was also an alcoholic and would put me down and tell me how fat my thighs were.(i was only 120lbs) He would tell me I don't deserve to eat the food in the frige or have the eye glasses on my face. Oh, the joy of family. When I was little, I use to sleep with my mother, you guess it, my father left us to be with his other Family. But would pop in with treats of FOOD. Any way, my Mother would make us, her and I, special bologna sandwiches @ nite. She would cut the crust off, spread the mayo just so, and cut it in perfect little squares. We would sit in bed wacth TV and drink milk and eat. Gee I wonder why I like to snack at night? And think so little of myself. Or why I have a screwed up relationship with men. Our eating comes from the same place inside us, how do we "fix" or "fill" that place?

Hmm. Why AM I fat? I am thinking this one over. I think a little bit is genetic. Both of my parents had a weight problem. Emotional eating is the basis of it. One parent was a binge alcoholic and the other was just an alcoholic towards the end of life. Though us kids were provided for financially. The uncertainty of what you were going be greeted with when we got off the bus was a worry for me. Some of my brothers and sister compensated for it by either being "big drinkers" once they left home, or (1) being an overachiver in his business life (I think to prove he is "good" as the other people-BTW-he isn't fat), or being fat (me). Both parents passed away, my daddy was killed in an accident (when he was drunk) by driving into a moving train when I was 12, and my mom died of cancer 4 years later. I went to live with my sister at 16, and she was into her own thing at that time-drinking and partying due to a divorce-and she wanted me to babysit every weekend. I rebelled! I wanted to party too because of dealing with all of the emotional crap of losing my parents so young. I was thinking, "Party on, because you're next in line!" So I moved out and was on my own at a very early age. I should have stayed there and babysat, as it turned out! At that time I was wearing size 12-13. I thought I was HUGE at a size 12. My sister was a size 8, so to compare myself to her, I was huge. Now I don't see it the same way. So I left her home, partied til I was emotionally bankrupted, and finally called an end to the party at the age of 21! I met my husband and we got married. It's been a tough marriage in some ways. He would stay out when we were first married until midnight-1 am, and he had a hard time getting up to go to work. He would leave me without a car, money, diapers, and cigarettes. So we worked thru all that crap (I left him for about a month when I was pregnant with our second child). I guess he really did like having us around. He straightened up about his own partying and getting to work. It is amazing he didn't get fired. BUT, he turned it into passive agressive behavior. HE would not leave the house for anything! It was a big, big happening when he went to family things. I have gone to many family functions without him thru the years. Until I left him again just a few years ago over his personality issues, I guess with age he mellowed..... He will attend some stuff now, but he usually just sits in a chair watching tv or sleeping! so thru the years, I have tried to be both father and mother to my kids, and I guess I got into the "after the kids go to bed because all this junk is not good for them type snacking". And I drink a lot of Coca Cola. NOT diet Coke. So here I am, 27 years later, overweight by 100 pounds. That's my story. YIKES, I need really do need theraphy!!! I am really not sure I want to post this, but I am going to "Post Quick Reply"....here goesss....click!

I am definitely on the moderation band wagon. I eat pizza and wings and drink alcohol and have cake and bagels and ice cream cones in the summer. I eat crap from convenience stores and fast food places. But I do so in moderation while eating healthy, bariatric friendly food 80% of the time. Too much sugar or fried food or alcohol or coffee will give me gastritis and carbonation is impossible. But I didn't do any of these things until I was under my goal weight. And although I don't track or count or measure my food I am mindful of what I do eat and how it affects my weight. I get 60-80g of Protein everyday, at least 80oz of fluids, I take my daily Vitamins and I have my bloodwork checked regularly. If I pop even one pound above my bounce range I go back to strict protein and veggies or even the preop liquid diet until I am back down. You should also know that after a years or two your restriction will lessen and you will not be able to rely on your sleeve for portion control. Anyone can learn how to eat around their sleeve and if you don't address and change your eating habits early on then you WILL regain. You will likely have a harder time than your wife because of her malabsorption I have a couple friends that have had bypass and if I ate like they do I would be right back where I started. There are many ways to be successful after WLS..... VSGAnn and I are nearly identical in our starting weights/heights, final goal weight and maintenance success. But the details of our success are different in a lot of ways. And I'm sure there are a hundred other versions of success out there. But there are also a hundred ways to fail. There are common denominators in the successes and failures, and only you can figure out what works for you if you decide to have surgery. In the end, postop life is about choices, not rules.

Loleata- I think all of us go thru these same questions or similar ones when trying to decide if this is right for you. I can't tell you how to feel but I can share my thoughts for me. Obesity is a disease just like alcoholism, diabetes, or anything else. If I didn't treat this disease the best way I can then wouldn't it be abusive to what god gave me? He wants me to live a full life and if this treatment plan is going to do it then so be it. As for if I am ready to do this, and have I really tried everything. Well I've been overweight for 20 years and been on about a zillion diets. And yeah I've lost but I've also gained it all back too many times to count. This is going to help me KEEP it off. I think your sister is going to see someone that is strong enough to take action to change! This is not easy. There are going to be rough patches and you r still going to have to do the work to make it successful. So I think she will b proud of you! Goodluck!!

Yesterday was our 8 yr anniversary so we went to dinner. I had 2 glasses of wine and behaved totally -- no bread, no dessert. Had chicken marsala and spinach for dinner. :juggle: But THEN when I got home I had to "white knuckle it" to resist diving into the chocolate! I did resist but finally decided to hell with it, I'm just going to bed...and I did. I've long suspected there was a correlation between drinking and eating sweets. The alcohol lowers my resistance to temptation AND heightens my cravings for sweets. Hmmmph. I don't know what kept me out of that chocolate last night but I do remember mumbling in my head: "Just for today...." I guess it worked.

I'm 16 months post-op, met goal of 180 at 1 year and 4 days post-op (October 2, 2017) and have been at 173 for several months now. I am incredibly particular about what I eat and drink, and, in my opinion, that has been the key to my success. I've worked my way up to around 1900-2000 calories per day, but I never go over 2000. I keep my carbs below 25 grams per day. I follow a keto way of eating. This is sustainable for me, and it's how I am going to live. I haven't had any sugar, bread, starch, etc. in almost 2 years. It's no thing now. Food is fuel to me, and nothing else. It's quite freeing, and provides for a much better quality of life for me. I'm treating carbs like an alcoholic treats booze. I feel like they are a slippery slope for me, so I eradicated them from my life, and I have no plan or desire to bring them back. Being this size, being healthy, and having a happy life is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO ME than any food or drink. I'm technically not a vet in the eyes of BP for another couple of months, but I have been doing this for a long time, been successful, and been on and off of these boards for 2 years. I've seen a lot, and lived a lot, and accepted a very long time ago that this journey is for the rest of my life. I'll be damned if I gain anything back after I permanently changed my body and put it through all of that trauma...

Aww. Thank you. I appreciate that. Until the last couple of weeks, I took a break from BP. It really is designed more for pre-op folks and recent post-ops, so there isn't much for me here anymore. (That, plus most of the people I talked with are long gone by now.) I'm glad to be back, though. I don't respond to a lot of posts these days, but I do sometimes when I feel that I can contribute (or that people might listen...). I had to really work to get my calories in the 1900-2000 range. And I eat every 2 hours all day long to get there. I was in the 1600-1750 range for a long time, but I wouldn't stop losing weight. My doctor doesn't want me to go below 170, so I knew I had to get the calories closer to 2000. (I think a person my size needs about 2100 to maintain, so I really should try to get it up a little more, but I've stayed at 173 for a while now, so I think I'm good at the moment.) Some people eat carbs and are fine, but my body is just really sensitive to them. And getting my mindset around food to where it is took a lot of work. Trust me, a few months with carbs would put that in jeopardy (just like booze with an alcoholic), and that is why I am how I am. And I have seen so many people have one surgery or the other and then gain most or all of their weight back (including my mom, dad and brother). I just don't want to be one of those people.

I went out last night with my girly-friends and had 3 glasses of wine, then we had dinner. I came home and ate TWO HUGE brownies. It's a sure thing: alcohol increases my sugar cravings and decreases my control. Period. Note to self: Do not drink alcohol!

Well the truck is considerably higher than when he got here. I fixed dinner for them, there are only 3--one of the guys chose to stay home, get drunk, scare his wife with his ramblings, and is now sobering up in detox! He has been a serious alcoholic for a long time, and he goes on benders frequently. But when he does this trying to get to and from the reservation, while smashed, it makes me mad-------I have loved ones on the road, he needs to not be! Hope they lock him up for awhile this time. Dinner is meanwhile getting cold, because when they thought they were done and I set it out, they forgot some plate on the front of the truck......grrrrr thats ok, they get cold enchiladas, and Beans and rice and corn bread! LOL Well I am gonna eat mine while it is warm. BBL!!

Haydee - There is a scientific basis for the way you feel, you're not just imagining it. You have reinforced the food=pleasure connection for 30-something years...creating very real, physical neurological connections that take TIME to re-direct. That's why people tell you to be good to yourself and find other ways to derive pleasure for yourself...it helps to create NEW pleasure pathways in your brain. (Same for addicts/alcoholics.) But that all takes time.... it takes about 90 days to really get over the hump. That's what the addiction specialist told us at the rehab center....and that guy knew his stuff!

I've haven't heard them but I used to listen to Phil Hendrie (sp) he was so funny especially when he'd do the female characters. He would have these pretend people on the show, he did all the voices. Once he had a couple pretending they were parents who allowed their 13 year olds to have alcohol parties. It was really funny! Have you ever listened to him? I haven't heard him in a few years though but he was the greatest!

http://www.newstatesman.com/200703120024 From the Linked article: America won't simply be paying with its dead. The Pentagon is trying to silence economists who predict that several decades of care for the wounded will amount to an unbelievable $2.5 trillion... ...It is sobering to think how the money going down the drain in Iraq could otherwise have been spent. "For this amount of money, we could have provided health insurance for the uninsured of this country," Bilmes tells me. "We could have made social security solvent for the next three generations, and implemented all the 9/11 Commission's recommendations [to tighten domestic security]." That kind of list goes on: the annual cost of treating all heart disease and diabetes in the United States would amount to a quarter of what the Iraq war is costing. Pre-school for every child in America would take just $35bn a year. __________________ Questions that need to be asked: Will the "Support Our Troops" crowd be there with the money for the mentally ill Vets? Will the "Support Our Troops" crowd still support the Iraq Vets who commit crimes like murder at 5 or 6 times the national level? Will the "Support Our Troops" crowd still support the Iraq Vets who are involved with spousal abuse at many times the national average? Will the "Support Our Troops" crowd still support the Iraq Vets when they are homeless and try to pan-handle money from the public? Will the "Support Our Troops" crowd still support the Iraq Vets with tax-funded alcohol and drug rehab centers? Will the "Support Our Troops" crowd still support the Iraq Vets with tax-funded prisons to incarcerate them and then preach about "Personal Responsibility"? These are Questions that need to be asked, even though we know the answers. We know the answers because we have seen the support for Vietnam vets. "Born on the 4th of July" should be required viewing for the "Support our Troops" crowd. I support our troops; by trying to bring them home where they belong. The "Support Our Troops" crowd in reality are the "Support our Stupid Wars" crowd, who never saw a war they couldn't support. They might also be called the "Let the mighty USA beat up small countries" crowd, because as cowards, they like to watch the blood and gore as the civilians of small nations are bombed, killed and maimed. It is the "Support Our Troops" crowd's version of wrestling.

Hi. I had RNY on November 12, 2015. And, yes, I take Xanax daily for panic and severe anxiety disorders. In my case, RNY did make a very noticeable difference in how xanax effects me. In the first 3 or so months, it hardly worked for me at all. I had terrible anxiety. Now, at 5 months out, the medication hits me hard when I first take it, but doesn't last as long in my system. U G H!! It's sort of the same reaction as others have stated in the forums here about drinking alcohol. As time goes on, it seems to be leveling out. I thought I'd lose my mind a few months ago! As my body adjusts to malabsorption, I expect my reaction to my Xanax therapy to get back to somewhat normal. Even though it's been rough, I'm getting through it. It's the only problem I've had with my surgery. Keep in touch with all your doctor's about any concerns you have. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. My physical health is fantastic, and I hit my weight goal today!! Good luck to you and your upcoming surgery.

@@LowBMISleever "My comment was for the OP, but I don't take anything I said back. If it offends you that alcoholic beverages are empty calories that cause weight gain, then there's not a lot I can say. It's factual information. On a side note, I rescue dogs and your name implies you do too. I support that :)" You were complaining about the entire conversation and it not being 'supportive' to you. I know alcoholic beverages are empty calories and that's not something that's 'offensive' to me...I'm just not a huge believer in demonizing something that is allowed on our plans (most everyone here is allowed alcohol at some point) and something that I know is going to become a part of my long-term life. I don't like being nannied by strangers, and it seems I particularly dislike it when that stranger is calling people out for being non-supportive of HER dislike of alcohol use in a thread titled 'alcohol'. That's all. And yes, I'm a big rescue supporter and I'm glad you are, too. I've got two awful little rescues running around right now, barking their fool heads off and making my heart feel full <3 All of us have something in common at the end of all of our differences, don't we? Peace

Ok, so I admit to being hard-headed & needing to learn things the hard way. This being said, I have to admit to not following the surgeons instructions: I drink caffeinated diet soda & have had the occasional alcoholic beverage. Also, I have not followed the liquid, puree, soft then regular foods after fills regime. Because I have not had any adverse affects, I can't help but wonder why all the restrictions.... (I can see how it could be an issue for some)... I guess what I am wondering is, outside of the empty calories in alcohol, can any of this behavior hinder how effective the band is? If there is anyone who can offer some concrete info I would sure appreciate it!!

Like Jachut (and also from Australia) I wasn't given a lot of rules to follow. I had a post-op diet, which I followed, after which I was told to eat healthily, exercise at least 20 mins 3 times a week, and only eat when I was hungry. I didn't do low carb, didn't count calories, ate a balanced diet from all food groups, I drink alcohol (always have) and I exercised. I started with a relatively low BMI too and I lost all the weight I needed to within 7 months, then lost more, and then have maintained for over a year now. I think following the post-op diet is important because that's when you're healing. But after that, how you lose is pretty much dependant on you, and how sensibly you eat. Mind you, I don't drink carbonated drinks coz they make me feel sick. If something doesn't 'sit well' with me, I don't eat/drink it. But I try everything at least once. Personally I think if I'd had too many rules to follow, I would have been more likely to fall off the wagon. Having few rules made it easier to 'follow' the rules I did have. I even drink with meals sometimes, when I'm out at a restaurant. Then again, I'm not very restricted anymore. :waytogo:

I put the "benchmarks" on my calendar i.e., "Can try pasta..", "Can try steak"...so far at four months out, there's not too much I can't eat - including the occasion bagel..but it takes me forever at a pinky tip size bite at a time, so not really worth it. I'm not a big alcohol drinker, but I love the occasional margarita or gin & tonic - so far no problem, but I feel the effect very quickly. Was a diet soda a-day girl and gave that up - Love SoBe water and still have a cup or two of coffee a day. My NUT encourages me to 1) Eat Real Foods(don't rely on protein shakes except past recovery or post-fill), 2) Focus on Protein first, then fruit and veggies, 3) Limit but don't eliminate carbs, 4) Have the occasional treat but watch the portion size - that said, I really have to control myself around ice cream which has always been a favorite and slides down the ol' pie hole real easy! :cool:

You may not be having any adverse affects, but you may not be having optimal results. My experience has been that I have really tried to follow all of my doctor's rules (at least for some time) and then started experimenting w/only the rules that were problematic for me. Some of the rules that were hardest to follow (no carbonation, no artificial sweetener, and no caffeine) turned out to be the best for me. I very begrudgingly gave this all up for the first month after surgery wondering how I would ever satisfy my sweet tooth or have any energy without all of this. As it turns out, I no longer have a sweet tooth (the Diet Coke and artificial sweeteners were just driving my cravings for sweets) and I have more energy than ever (caffeine just had me on a horrible roller-coaster). So, I never went back to any of that. My doctor also says to go on Clear liquids for 72 hours after a fill. And, trust me, I have TRIED! In the beginning, I just did not have enough restriction to go 3 days w/no food at all. So, I would go as long as I could (usually 24 hours) and then work my way up. By my 3rd fill it got easier, and by my 4th fill (last one), I wasn't hungry at all after my fill so no problem at all. My doctor doesn't say you can't drink any alcohol, but she highly recommends against any liquid calories. Boy, this was the hardest for me. I love my wine and cocktails and have an active social life that always includes drinking. I was happy to find that as long as I was exercising and following all the other rules pretty well, I didn't have to give up my alcohol and I could still lose weight pretty well. That is until I plateaued the last three weeks. So, I finally had to slay my sacred cow and decided to commit myself to complete abstinence from alcohol until I reach goal. I didn't get this surgery just to make it halfway to goal. So, there you have it. I think we all end up experimenting w/the rules, but I say just try to give them your best shot to start out with. You just might find out your doctor and nutritionist are right.

I will admit, the big rule I break is drinking with my meals. Although, I don't gulp it. I may take tiny tiny sips. I barely drink 1/4 of my glass, if even that much. It does not affect my hunger, nor does it make me pb or uncomfortable. I drink alcohol on occassion. I haven't had a drink in over a month. I don't eat bread anymore, although I can still tolerate rice. And I don't drink any carbonation at all. I took a sip of my husband's flat Dr. Pepper once, and never again! Exercising makes my port sore too. My husband and I just moved into a new house, and when we were packing up, I was so sore in my port area. It went away after about a day or two. I will see how sore unpacking makes me.

Well, that MIGHT be me. I'm not a rule breaker, I was into this 100% and the carbonation and drinking with meals and Protein stuff were NOT rules for me. So technically, I follow my doctor's advice and would advise anyone to do so. But patently, since we have such laxer rules and no rules at all a lot of the time in Australia (of course it depends on yoru doctor, like anywhere) then those things simply ARENT hard and fast rules. I really echo ada's sentiments above - most of the nutrient balance, drinking, alcohol, caffeine advice are recommendations, not rules. If you can lose weight drinking wine, well, wine in moderation is not an entirely bad thing, it has some health benefits. There's no rhyme or reason to the caffeine thing, thats nothing more than one doctor's personal views over anothers, there's no evidence at all that we shoudl avoid it. The drinking thing, well I could drink with meals for the longest time without discomfort, and I did. When it started to hurt beyond certain restriction, I stopped. If I'd stopped losing for any significant time, I might have tried low carb, certainly would have given up alchohol. For each of us, this is OUR body, our experience is unique to US, and any doctor that insists on a cookie cutter approach wouldnt be a doctor I'd choose. Carbonation hurts. Its very uncomfortable to drink a very bubbly drink with the band. They're also generally rubbish for you. Good enough reason as any not to drink them. Drinking with a meal with adequate restriction is likely to make you vomit. Great reason to avoid it. But does it wash food through and make me feel hungry sooner. Absolutely a resounding NO. It doesnt. So why would I need to obsess about finishing drinking exactly 30 minutes before my meal and WHY would I watch the clock obsessively for an hour after? I personally believe that the rules doctors set tell an awful lot about the doctors' attitude to fat people. Some seem to want to punish. "i wont do this surgery unless you do this", "you must follow this rule, that rule, avoid this list of foods, count this nutrient" shows quite a lack of understanding about what it is like to be fat, to be an overeater, and definitely shows no empathy for a person who has to live like this forever. I'm very comfortable with my doctor who emphasises finding our own groove with this thing, adapting a lifestyle you can live with, is not unhappy with slow loss (my personal view is slow loss is good, healthier and maintainable, high protein fast loss is unhealthy, consists of a lot of muscle tissue and long term ketosis will damage your eyes and kidneys, but hey, that's an entire different argement with compelling evidence on BOTH sides). If you love rules, you probably like a doctor who gives them to you black and white, but me, I'd probably tell him to get stuffed. I also dont think doctors are GOD and argue regularly with my GP but then, that's just me. And the simple truth is, you just dont strictly have to live with rules to be succesful. I lost 100lb in about 18 months, I've kept it off for nearly 3 years now, I have a low BMI and I did it simply by eating sensibly, from all food groups, allowing treats but keeping them to a minimum and excercising regularly and intensely. I can definitely live like this forever. Look, if you love rules and love being dedicated to a diet and love to count, journal and such, its not a bad thing. Its defintely not going to hurt you. But its not strictly necessary for everyone, it has some disadvantages for many and not wanting to live that way is NOT an indication that someone will fail, will suffer complications or will not keep their weight off. You can indeed treat the band as a tool to control portions, eat sensibly but more like a normal person and lose weight and keep it off. But I think the post op requirements are remarkably similar between doctors and are VITAL to stick to. You've just had major surgery on your stomach, you want this thing to work and last, you have to allow it to heal. Why you would f-ck with that, I have no idea. That is just not negotiable. If that's the hardest thing you ever have to do in your life, then you're lucky. I found it really easy to be honest. I was full of new joy and good resolutions about what I was going to achieve. This time it was going to work. That was all the motivation I needed.

I've taught psychopathology for over 25 years and I don't believe that article suffers from selection bias or that the results could be applied to the general population at all. There is a far greater incidence of PDs in patients with morbid and super obesity than in the general population. Furthermore, NurseGrace, I am not here as a staff member or the forum psychologist. Given what's transpired on this thread, that article is entirely apropos and informs a great deal of what the OP complained about. The sharing of that article was not a bastardization of anything despite the fact that my motivation in doing so was obviously over- and multi-determined! As for your earlier idea about labeling members by their orientation to abstinence vs. moderation, i.e., "different ideas about how closely we follow the guidelines," the only long-term guidelines I received from my surgeon were: 1) no carbonated beverages ever and; 2) no alcohol for at least one year. For the record, I plan to follow both those guidelines religiously. So, please, put me down as "by the book!"

First year out, I didn’t drink alcohol. The empty calories were not worth stalling or stopping my weight loss. I still have a great time. My friends use me as the designated driver. I get free food and nonalcoholic drinks. After goal, I started drinking occasionally. I am a total light weight after surgery. It's not pretty when I go over two glasses of wine. I can’t keep it classy.

It's just an alien alcohol drink........