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I've been considering filler - since weight loss I have what I feel are pretty deep folds around my mouth. Not sure if you chose filler for the same reason - if yes, does it help?

So in this sort of situation, as in many other human interactions, there are 2 things that took me a lifetime to learn. I want to share those with you in the hope it will help you if a similar situation happens again. The first is to always assume positive intent (until proven otherwise). What I mean by that is that most people don't intend to me mean or hurtful, it's a lot more likely they just suck at giving compliments. (Some also don't understand personal space!) In your specific situation, I suspect they thought they were being complementary to you and really just could not understand that you'd interpret it any differently. This is also likely why they responded awkwardly when you didn't do what they expected and acknowledge their "complement". Note that I'm not saying you were "wrong" for feeling how you did about this. I think comments like this can feel pretty cringy and it's normal to feel what you did. It's just that I've reached a point where I've both been on the receiving and giving end of these sorts of conversations. For my own personal wellbeing, I have found that if I assume they meant well, the overall interaction tends to go a lot better. The second thing it took me a lifetime to learn is that if I assume positive intent, I also need to approach human interactions with a heart of curiosity, rather than resentment. What I mean is that is that I like to strive to understand why they felt the desire to interact with me. Are they looking for weight loss advice? Are they flirting with me? Maybe they just were hoping to make me feel good, which makes them feel better about themselves? Maybe they were interested in starting a new friendship and this was a conversation starter? The point I'm trying to make is that taking a few moments to have an open conversation couldn't hurt and may lead to other positive interactions in the future. Best of luck.

Update & NSV: Friday was my 4 month follow up. I weighed in at 47 pounds down from surgery and 97 pounds lost total. My clothes are getting pretty big on me but I’m trying to modify my clothes rather than buy new for as long as possible. I was helping at a school event and one of the other volunteers came up to me (who hasn’t seen me since last April) - gushing over how good I looked … saying “I almost didn’t recognize you”. I have had several people tell me that lately (many saying it’s was due to my shorter hair, I think they were embarrassed or unsure how to mention my weight-loss). Funny thing is because my loss has been gradual my family and I don’t really “see” it as much - so when people react to it, usually it’s sweet. I’m struggling getting enough calories and protein because I have some sinus drainage that make eating difficult but otherwise my dr and nutritionist think I’m on a really good track and are encouraging me to keep up the good work. I would have like to have lost more by now, but one advantage to slower loss is my skin is looking pretty good in general. I still have a lot to loose. I don’t have an ideal number set in my mind. I’ve already met all of my health related goals. In my perfect world getting down to the 100’s would be great, but as long as I’m healthy and avoid regaining… I’m happy. Having lots of plateaus which can be frustrating but with my calories being low that’s kinda expected.

i got it at 26, wish i did it earlier, good luck and next time reply 'no never, this was the first thing that came up when i googled weight loss' theyll be alright.

Hey everyone! This is Ashley. I had surgery on October 6th and had to start my pre-op diet in the beginning of June of this year... My heaviest weight is 356 lb... The day of surgery I was at 313 lb... And as of today I am at 264 lb!!! I was so thinking excited when I hit the 90 lb mark of weight loss ! Can imagine what if you like once I lose 100 !!! My goal weight is about 180 lb. Some about 85 lb away from that goal I believe ... More than halfway there just from the pre-op diet and 2 of post-op!?! It took me a while to be more comfortable with trying new foods as I was terrified of throwing up or having dumping syndrome... I had the gastric sleeve and things have been going much better than expected! I'm able to eat very healthy but lots of different types of foods which is really exciting! I even ate a sliced apple the other day which some people can't tolerate the skin and I did create! The reason I'm reaching out to y'all is because I'm dealing with chronic constipation. The only time that I can really go to the bathroom without any pain is if I take milk of magnesia... I tried to avoid it but The 2 weeks ago after realizing I hadn't gone to the bathroom in 2 and 1/2 weeks but I had no stomach pain or anything so I totally lost track of it! I had a bowel movement " naturally" If you can even call it that took two days to get out last Sunday and Monday... It was an extremely painful experience and extremely hard to the point where put it this way. I had to plunge the toilet a couple times just to be able to get it down.... Details are gross I know but this is what this page is all about getting help for our gross details! I just now took more milk of magnesia because I haven't gone since that severely constipated situation... I have been very good about eating very healthy and drinking a lot of water and getting my protein intake. I have however unfortunately not been great at taking vitamins and keeping up with them. I ordered some more vitamins today and decided to get back on track. Even before surgery I was deficient of vitamin d very severely as well as low on iron to the point of anemia. So I'm wondering if my nausea that I've been having isn't just constipation but also vitamin deficiency and if maybe that's why I'm constipated as well... I also ordered benafiber tablets to see if that helps... Do you guys have any advice on how to go better? What do you do when it's been a few days and you haven't gone? In the past? If I don't go for three or four days pre-surgery I had to get stomach cramps and pains and things like that and that's not happening this time around. Advice is welcome. There is hope if we just stick together. I love you all so much. You are like a family to me! I look forward to your responses!! Sent from my Pixel 6 using BariatricPal mobile app

breast lift, arm lift and tummy tuck for me. had them all done in one shot about 7 months after goal (roughly 14 months after wls). i would have done it sooner but my chosen ps surgeon was booked up till then! i am completely happy with the results. recovery was a b*itch for me, but i have zero regrets. i've also had: - micro-needling RF on my face and neck (cant really see an significant improvement though and did not continue) - botox on my forehead and jaw/massater muscle (def see improvement on my wrinkles and jaw size!) i do this every 6 months or so on my forehead and every year on my jaw) - filler on my cheeks (love it!), every 6-7 months - i also had filler once on each of: my laugh lines, chin and undereyes, but i didn't like the look of it so didn't repeat after it wore off. - finally had lip blushing (tattooing a tint to my lips) and SMP (scalp micro pigmentation) which is hundreds of tiny tattoo dots on my scalp to give the illusion of fuller hair. yes, i'm vain. don't judge me!! 😂 sometime down the road i'd like a butt lift or something and a neck or face lift. but i still have some PTSD from my last ps recovery so im not in a rush lol. if you have the desire, time, resources, and inclination, then go for it i say. you only live once. may as well feel fab while you're here.

What about your grand parents? I am sorry that this is happening to you. With the raft of things going on I wonder if weight loss surgery would bring about the changes you want? You have searched very hard to get answers. I wonder if asking Dr Phil for help would get you the help you need? He seems to have many specialists that are able to get answers, 🤗

Have any of you had or wanted to have plastic surgery after weight loss, or other beauty treatments, especially (but not only) in the face? I've lost 41 pounds and I see it in my face. I really would like to have eyelid surgery and I also need to have something done with my neck, since I'm developing a bit of a turkey neck for the first time in my life. What's even worse, it's a bit off center. I'm wondering if it will get better or worse as I lose more weight. I also want to have a breast lift, and possibly a breast reduction, but I probably have to wait another year for that since I need to be at or near my goal weight for that. I'm hoping to avoid a tummy tuck, since my lower stomach is relatively flat after a liposuction there decades ago. What kind of plastic surgeries or treatments (laser, plasma pen etc.) do you want to / plan to have, or have had? And if you've had any plastic surgery or treatments, did you get the result you wanted?

My views on weight loss have changed since I had my surgery. I no longer evaluate someone by their weight. So someone commenting on the weight of another is no longer something I think is OK. Unless it is from someone you know and trust. As I stated in my post, I don't know this person. It did not feel comfortable.

I was removing snow from my car in freezing weather when a neighbor who is like a stranger to me snuck up behind me and was within inches from my face and said "you have lost alot of weight". I don't associate with this person as there are over 100 tenants here and you can't know everyone. I was startled as I didn't even know they were there and what popped out was "oh? I don't know." To which they replied, "well you have!". They then turned around and walked away. The way they said "well you have" was kind of in a mean tone of voice. Almost like they didn't like me saying "Oh? I don't know". I felt uncomfortable about what happened. During a support group, the dietician at the bariatric center I go to said we can respond any way we feel fit when people make comments about our weight loss that make us feel our privacy is being invaded or if someone is being nosy compared to someone paying us a heartfelt caring compliment. If someone you don't associate with mentions your weight loss in a way that doesn't feel complimentary or genuine, what are some approaches you have taken? I could have said "mind your own business", "can't you see I am busy", "why did you just sneak up behind me like that", etc. And maybe I should have! Thanks.

same as above: after weight loss phase, i don't really have a typical day of eating...it varies wildly from day to day. i do still track my calorie intake, but more so just out of habit. i generally average about 1800-2000 calories a day. some days less some days more. i do moderate exercise, and a 5'2" female. also managed to stay below goal weight this entire time with how and what i eat so im def grateful for that. oh, and i'm a little over 4 years out. what i ate today: - french bread with butter - cranberry granola - kimchi dumplings - general tso tofu - french bread with strawberry jam - grilled shrimp - garlic bread with cheese - sour cream & onion chips - almonds - espresso martinis (2) (i don't normally eat this much bread, but i made a couple loaves this morning so...) (also, im a grazer so i ate all this here and there throughout the day)

I'm not quite 3 years out yet (that'll be next month), but there isn't a 'typical' day for me. I used the weight loss phase to get into a new mindset and learn to eat in a sustainable way. Which is what I do. I eat around 1600-2000 calories depending on the day (but only count calories if my weight goes up past what I allow myself, i.e my comfortable zone). I'm 188 right now and as long as I'm still in the 180's I'm okay (if it goes into the 190's I start counting calories. I put on some weight after starting a med for my Trigeminal Neuralgia and was only able to lose about half of what I put on, but I figure that's probably the normal weight gain I heard you gain in your second year anyway so I just shrug it off or try to, anyway). What I ate today: Breakfast: Granola bar & 2 Caramel Rice Cakes Snack: No Sugar Added Mandarin Orange Fruit Cup Lunch: Leftover Chicken Fetticini Snack: Protein Shake Dinner: Turkey Potato Skillet I just had blood work done and my blood work is almost perfect (have low sodium, but that's due to my anti-anxiety meds. They told me to drink more lol).

I hope this reaches all the hair loss patients. I’m 8 years post operative and lost 70% of all body hair. It was extremely difficult to have so much gone on my head. I started taking Blood Builder by Mega Food. Problem solved!

as Arabesque said, the morbidity rate on weight loss surgeries is really low....lower than many other common surgeries such as hip replacement surgery. I think some people's perceptions come from the way things were 40 or 50 years ago, but the surgeries they do today aren't the same and are MUCH safer. You'd be more at risk by staying obese. which country the surgeon practices in makes no difference at all. There are good and not-so-good surgeons in any given country. If you've researched your surgeon and things look good, you should be fine.

I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant. Have only gained 11lbs so far in pregnancy. My baby bump is just a bump - not like my last pregnancy where I gained so much weight I was just a giant fat person. Eating the proper foods and nutrition is incredibly manageable. My low was 183, I’m keeping that as my marker on this site and will continue updating once I have this babe. I figure it’s not quite the same experience being pregnant, so my weight loss journey, in a sense, is on hold. Yesterday I had two people comment and say I don’t even look pregnant (shirt was hiding the bump) but that was a weight loss compliment. We’re going to Florida next week and I’ve had a hell of a time trying to find a bathing suit that fits my flat a$$ and big belly. I did though! The need for maternity clothes has been a challenge as I’m Constantly confused by my size due to the weight loss. I can pull my size 10 jeans up and they’re loose, but they don’t button - that’s a win in my book! Hope you all are doing great! Cheers to the new year!! Happy Holidays!! ❤️

I've been to three and one OBGYN. They don't know. Hormones are normal on every test. Very slight hirsutism began at 14 (faint hairs on my abdomen). But by 21 I was growing a beard and my body hair was wolf man level. No answers for that or my severe acne which was practically all over my body. They can't figure it out. They say ''genetics'' but not one parent has those kind of characteristic's. Both parents are fair haired, thin people. My Mother only had to shave her legs once a week or longer and I don't ever recall her having facial hair. Both parents are thin too with no history of adolescent or adult acne. A total mystery.

It takes me a while to decide on anything. Once the decision is made then its going to take a massive event to shake my resolve, the pandemic didn't stop me. Once my husband said he was onboard I phoned the private hospital. I only told my only child and bestie of 50+ years, both were encouraging. Since surgery I have told my sisters and an overweight neighbour who asked about my weight loss. Unless your friend apologises for being being so negative, I can't see how your friendship would get passed this. As Arabesque says the stats are really good. You live in a country where I don't think you will have any aftercare worries. There is so much advice in this forum if you are unsure of anything, now or later, we are only here to help and encourage. What the person said against the surgery was their own doubts, not yours. If you decide to postpone, its totally ok. You will probably regret your second thoughts but eventually will decide its the correct path for you like we all did. Breathe

So glad to hear you are doing so well. I'm doing well, as well, thanks. I've lost about 40 lbs. I need to lose another 13 or so to have a normal BMI. But I'm quite happy with my weight loss. It has been very slow throughout this process. I'm averaging a pound a week. But that's better than not losing, or God forbid, gaining. I'm going on a cruise for Christmas. Bathing suit, size 10. Great to be there again. I hope all is well with everybody

I had my surgery on March 22; I've lost 102 pounds. My starting weight at home was 308.6 and my weight this morning was 206.4. However, my rheumatologist has my highest weight at 314.8, so according to him, I've lost 108 pounds. Whatever the loss, it's great. I still see a heavy person when I look in the mirror, but my clothes were a 4x and now I can wear a large. I had the sleeve and I've had terrible reflux. So bad, I have inhaled it into my lungs while I sleep several times. My doctor wants to do a revision after the holidays. 😒

I would try to eat sugar free jell-o each day that I was on my liquid diet. It would help me with the need to chew. My sleeve was on 12/2/22 and I'm doing well. I still forget to give myself enough time between bites or sips. Once I started soft foods my weight loss stalled. I'm still a bit sore but I'm mostly fine.

First off, Congratulations for getting back out there in your new life. And also preparing for a marathon! That is fantastic! Now from a Man's point of view. You found a guy that is into health & fitness which is a good thing for you. He is "super encouraging" and supportative in a positive manner. You actully DID go on a "restrictive calorie" diet to achieve your superb weight loss. You just used another tool in the box called gastirc bypass to assist you. You should be very proud of yourself for doing that. Now to answer the question. Yes IF reaching that point of seriousness in your relationship. The disclosure most likely won't matter to him but will give you peace of mind to continue your relationship. Don't make it a confessional type of discussion where you sound ashamed, but rather matter-of-factly in discussing your nutritional needs. Consdering his background, he probaly will be eager to assist you in your journey. If he is serious about you, your relationship willl continue to grow. It is no big deal for a guy (even a fitness buff). Would he care if you previously had facelifts or breast implants? Would you even mention that? If he is serious, he likes you for who you are NOW. Good luck and stay postive!

I’m sorry you have been through such emotional upheaval that compromised your weight loss journey. You had other battles & issues you were dealing with which didn’t allow you to fully embrace the benefits of your surgery. Sometimes life gets in the way of all our good intentions. Glad you are seeing a therapist now to support you. Many find therapy a great benefit to their weight loss. And remember, you did lose more than 100lbs which is an achievement. The efficacy of the pouch reset is questionable. Some swear it works & others say it doesn’t. It really is just going back on the very low calories diet you followed immediately after surgery. Have you considered going to a dietician & working on eating in a way that is more like what you were doing when you were into eating solid foods with protein & fluid goals, watching portion size, lowish carbs, fats & sugar, etc. so adopting a healthy, & nutrient dense diet. If you think you have stretched your tummy out, maybe a revision surgery may be helpful. Certainly worth a conversation with your old surgeon or a new one to see if it is possible. Others here will likely have more knowledge & experience about this. What ever you decide, all the best.

It really is different for each individual. I can only tell what I experienced from my Gastric Bypass surgery on Nov 8th. I felt the gas the first few days but no real discomfort to me. Sometimes just changing position would help. No pain per say but I walked a lot around the house and honestly was too tired those first few days to take the dog for a walk. No problem sleeping (I sleep on my side anyway). They gave me pain meds to take home but I never needed any. Speaking of tired, remember you will be recovering from surgery so you will be worn out. Rest, rest, and recuperate. My first 2 weeks was a "full liquid diet" where I lived on protein shakes and yogurt. My focus was on healing, getting protein, and fluids. Again, I experienced no pain, no GERD, and very little constipation. By the 2nd week I had more energy, so started taking the dog for a morning walk again ( she is so Happy!). Still not hungry! 3rd & 4th week was my "pureee phase" and again no pain or complications. My energy was still increasing however I made sure I was active in the morning because the afternoons still saw my batteries running low. During my 4th week I added my Airdyne stationary bike to my routine after the morning walk. Then had a 2 week "soft textured" phase which I am entering the final week. Still no pain or complications. Still learning the "full indicator" (when to stop eating) and trying to find foods that I want to eat (especially in this phase). Still not hungry but I have become aware of when my actual stomach and not my head says "feed me". Looking forward to the "Bariatric regular" phase starting soon. I honestly feel that these previous phases (including pre-surgery) have prepared me for the long run. So in summary, I personally did not experience any difficulties or pain with this surgery but am enjoying not only the weight loss but the healthy lifestyle. Also, my blood sugar & BP are normal without any medications for the first time in decades. Listen to your bariatric team, stick with the plan and you will be fine. You are going to have great 2023!

I haven't posted in a minute - life is feeling very normal now that I'm almost a full year post op so I haven't been perusing the forums too much. I've finally reached my first goal weight which is great. I've lost 120 lbs. I still have restrictions on my eating. I don't get food stuck as much but if I take that "one bite too many" I can get nauseous for solid 1 to 2 hours but dating is feeling pretty easy in terms of eating. I know what works and what doesn't when planning meals with my partner. I have recently started seeing this guy and it's getting pretty serious with that. He's super into fitness and is a martial arts athlete. I am recently starting to train for a marathon so we've been able to bond a bit over training and stretching properly but as someone who was recently super morbidly obese, I feel super awkward still talking about exercise and nutrition with him which is a big part of his life. I told him I recently dropped a lot of weight and he's super encouraging and is always telling me I should be proud of myself because I can be quiet about it around him and others. I am terrified to tell him that I got weight loss surgery because I don't know what he thinks about it and I feel like some fitness people stigmatize it a lot. It's even as crazy as me keeping my shirt on during seggsy time or turning the lights off completely because of my incision scars and I'm also super self conscious about my loose skin which I've already told him about and he says he loves my soft tummy which is nice but it makes me kind of want to die (metaphorically lol) because I hate my body so much. But he's super kind and just wants me to be comfortable really but I am so scared to tell him about surgery and I get so awkward talking about fitness because I still feel like I'm 340 lbs. Anyone have to deal with a situation like this? I mean at some point or I guess at what point will it become obvious? How long can I really keep the lie up? I told him I lost the weight with calorie restriction. I told him I have an ibuprofen allergy and that I hate sweets (really though because of dumping lol). I feel like a horrible person though because I am really starting to care about him. I would appreciate any advice. My family says that I owe no one an explanation and there's no obligation or moral reason to tell people that I had the surgery. I kind of agree with that but there are moment where it's like - is she just being really shy around me? Why is she eating like half of a serving of food? Or getting nauseous or taking all my horse pill supplements and dealing with some vitamin deficiencies every now and then? Idk. Not sure how this usually goes for people. Thanks!

My team has never mentioned goal weight but has spoken about the average weight loss with the surgery. I originally picked 180 but figured if I'm making this change, I was going all in to 160, this was my weight since from 11 to 28, and I felt comfortable, just needed to tone. I ran into a video that said your goal weight should be 20 lbs above your normal weight which ended up being 160 so that worked out. I know there is a possibility I will not hit it but I will be okay with 180. Sent from my SM-G960U1 using BariatricPal mobile app