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So I had my first cocktail 1.5 months out from surgery. My husband and I both had GB within one week of another. We are now 4 months out and we have a cocktail regularly (not excessive by any means), but the usual weekend socializer. Now, everyone has stated that alcohol will hit you faster and harder than before. Well, well....not the case for me. I have had a couple glasses of wine a time or even a couple rather stout cocktails at a time - and well....NOPE - no tipsy, no nothing. I have a feeling it goes right through me now. In the past a couple drinks I would be feeling a little happy. So not sure what is different for me. I wonder if anyone else has experienced this...??

There was a study of alcohol after RNY surgery published in the "Journal of the American College of Surgeons". You can read the whole thing here: https://www.facs.org/media/press%20releases/jacs/gastricbypass0311 Note that the study shows we become MORE affected by alchohol as we heal from RNY surgery (effects are more pronounced at 6-months than at 3-months). One 5-ounce drink of wine was enough to raise the BAC over the legal driving limit. To put it in perspective, one drink after surgery approximately affects us like 4 before surgery. Also, they continue to warn that in RNY patients, there is a higher chance of abusing alcohol due to transference. Here are some excerpts: "The results of this unique demonstration of alcohol metabolism changes in gastric bypass patients showed that patients who underwent a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass (RYGB) operation had considerably higher breath alcohol content (BAC) and took significantly more time to return to a sober state after drinking, compared with BAC levels tested prior to having their procedure." "During the study, alcohol metabolism tests were performed on 19 morbidly obese patients before their RYGB operation and then measured again at three and six months post-operation. Patients also reported symptoms experienced when drinking and answered a questionnaire about their drinking habits." "The results showed peak BAC percentage of patients after drinking five ounces of red wine was significantly higher post-operation. BAC was 0.024 percent at pre-operation and 0.059 percent (p = 0.0003) at three months. Tested again at six months post-operation, the patients’ BAC was 0.088 percent (p = 0.0008) which is more than the legal driving limit of .08 percent. Additionally, it took 49 minutes for patients to reach a zero BAC prior to their operation compared with 61 minutes at three months and 88 minutes at six months post-operation." "RYGB patients need to understand that their body will respond to alcohol differently after their operation and they need to exercise caution if they choose to drink alcohol,” said Dr. Morton. “Our recommendation to all of our RYGB patients is never drink and drive and to limit consumption of alcohol to one standard drink (one 12-oz beer, 5-oz wine, or 2-oz liquor) for every two hours."

Don't worry about the slip up. Some doctors don't even have patients on a pre op diet. Now, post op- you HAVE to follow the rules, even 2 weeks out when you feel pretty good. No chicken fingers! Those are my skinny son's favorite! food addiction, which I believe most of us here probably have, is much like other addictions- gambling, alcohol, drugs. Your brain is flooded with dopamine in the same ways. It takes time to retrain your brain not to want to head for the pantry when you are bored, stressed out, about to watch your favorite TV show. I was not always a food addict but became one in my 30's. I'm struggling and I know it will take time. The good thing is that I know I can't eat a pint of ice cream like before or I will end up very sick and in the toilet and I don't want to do that. Take care and good luck!

Dammit - what is your freakin obsession with water - it's not like it's that important for life - that's what alcohol is for - give it a flying flipping break you nimwitted, nanner eating tree swinging skankish freak btw - feel free to get to know me anytime - I'm a cool chicka!

I'm not a teacher, but I am a school-based occupational therapist in 2 public school systems. I've been in the schools for 13 years. Most people do not have a clue how hard teachers work. It is definitely not a 9-5 job. Most teachers I know work long hours, both in and out of school, to do the best they can for their students. The behaviors that are in most classrooms today is appalling. I don't think that people know what happens in school. Many classes I work in are special education. The majority of classrooms are now cross-categorical, meaning that many types of disabilities and behaviors are now in one class rather than having more specialized classrooms that serve a particular population. Classrooms that used to be just for mentally retarded kids now have kids that have behavior and emotional disorders. Kids with autism are thrown into the mix. Teachers are overwhelmed trying to serve each student according to their individual needs. There is often not enough staff in the classroom. But I don't know one special ed. teacher that hasn't gone above and beyond to make sure that her students get the best from her. Regular education teachers now have special ed. kids mainstreamed into their classes on a regular basis, whether that child is appropriate to be mainstreamed or not. They have to deal with behaviors and needs that they were never trained to deal with and are expected to adjust the curriculum for that one student so they can "fit in" to the class whether they can do the work or not. Kids today now have family members that are drug addicts, alcoholics, or in jail. Many see violence as part of their daily life. Some parents don't give a damn about their kids, never participate in school activities, or offer support to their children at home to enhance the learning process. These are often the parents who scream the loudest because their kids are struggling and it must be the teacher's fault. The "No Child Left Behind" requires that all children are tested at their grade level for standardized testing. That means that a 3rd grader with mental retardation who functions at the level of a 2 year old, must be tested as a regular 3rd grader. The schools looks bad because then the tests make the school look like their students, as a whole, are testing poorly. So funding is lost and programs are cut, the kids lose out, and parents are bitching about what a rotten job the teachers are doing with their kids. What do I hate the most about teachers? Nothing. Over the years, I have met a couple of people who really should have gone into another line of work. 99% of the teachers I have met are dedicated, caring, do their best for each of their students, want their kids to succeed, and will do as much as they can to make sure that the time in school is safe, nurturing, and a haven, for some, from the crappy reality that is life outside of school. I have nothing but admiration for teachers. Thank you to all that teach our children.

Agreed! Oh, and considering I'm always late to my morning classes (just by a squeek) I wouldn't call it strolling, more like a forced march. Well dang on the pilaties, but practically my entire dance class is dancing, with very little time spent on demos. Any demos we have she, does the move once then we repeat it, and at this point, not a whole lot of new moves are being introduced. It really is non-stop for at least the first 30 minutes while we do our drills. Between our shimmies, drops, lifts, undulations, mayas, camels and geiraphs, and all our isolations.. Well, no talking there. This is a serious, kick-your-ass dance class for dance majors/minors... So, is it alright if I claim 1/2 an hour for the hour of dance? Sorry you had such a crazy day, that's been my week lately, what with major projects due... Oh, and I definately need a fill. I suddenly lost all restriction... again. So this week, my calories have been sky-high in the 1500 calorie range Yeah, I know, normal woman range, not calorie-obsessed-weightloss-driven-demented-woman range. I think this week I managed to get in all my servings of grains! And you bet I'll buy you that drink (or 3) next year at the Bash. (but not 4) I have to believe that alcohol poisoning would be bad-bad-bad for the Banded Brigands...

@@2goldengirl Please remember that I am only talking about RECOMMENDATIONS. And recommendations from those who are the governing body of WLS. It's not about saying ALL or NOTHING, nor does where I am coming from having anything to do with WLS patients being able to make good decisions - or not. What I am saying is that BECAUSE alcohol is a toxin and may interfere with absorption of essential nutrients, the governing body's RECOMMENDATION, not MANDATE, be that it is not a wise decision to consume alcohol after weight loss surgery. I totally agree that each and every person is responsible for their own health. Thank you!

Actually, for me it isn't about the alcohol at all. It's more the all-or-nothing, "WLS patients can't be trusted to make good decisions" attitude that fries me. I'm a grownup. This is my life, my sleeve, and my health. I accept full responsibility for them.

@@OKCPirate Thank for the reading by John Grisham! Indeed, a very good narrative! As I have said, I don't have a problem with people drinking alcohol - if it's not contraindicated for them for whatever reason. I stand firm in my belief that for those who have WLS, alcohol has no place in their "diet." Very much enjoyed the video! Connie

@@beinghappy2day Transfer addictions do happen, I believe. My point in writing this article is in relation to the governing body's recommendations. My point is not about being absolute or overbearing... it's specifically related to the bariatric professionals who are the "leaders of the pack." My position is that this governing body needs to have a more definite RECOMMENDATION, based on the fact that alcohol is a toxin that can have deleterious effects on the absorption of essential nutrients, in addition to other possible negative effects. Thank you for posting!

I gave up anything carbonated, alcohol, sweetened begs and any sweetener that wasn’t natural years ago. Coffee was my last real THING! 😜 :). Argh!

What do we do when we fall from grace? The research on relapse (with any addiction; food, drugs, alcohol) is that recidivism is the rule not the exception. So why do we get so down on ourselves when we fall short of our goals? Why is it so hard to get back on the horse with the same vigor we had when we started? And how do we give ourselves a renewed sense of hope and motivation for change once we've fallen? “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” - Socrates Everyone does well out of the gates. We all impress ourselves when we start, what we believe to be, a new lifestyle change. However, "out of the gates," can mean different things for different people; for some it is two months, for others (usually depending on how strong the addiction or habit is) it can be two minutes. But what do we do when we fall from grace? The research on relapse (with any addiction; food, drugs, alcohol) is that recidivism is the rule not the exception. So why do we get so down on ourselves when we fall short of our goals? Why is it so hard to get back on the horse with the same vigor we had when we started? And how do we give ourselves a renewed sense of hope and motivation for change once we've fallen? One magical ingredient in the secret sauce (and one of many concepts I talk about in my book and my wls courses) that is lifestyle change is the novelty effect. The new plan to quit something or change a bad habit is something unlike we have ever done before, so we hope that we can achieve something we have never done before. The problem is that the moment we slip, that novelty loses its magic - and each time we start over, it loses its power to give us hope. So the solution is to cultivate more novelty. Our ability to continually grow and change is largely limited by our creativity. The more creative we become, the easier it is to take a different approach to change. To open a window when life seems to shut the door. In other words- what I am telling you, is that the only secret to long term weight loss maintenance is the knowledge that there isn't only one secret. There is no ONE diet that will forever change someone. Eventually people get tired of eating bacon and eggs every meal on Atkins, or grapefruit, or cabbage soup- but the thread they all share is their novelty. This is why all of them can work initially. Even as powerful as weight loss surgery is- people still find that they start to plateau or even gain the weight back if they aren't simultaneously addressing the behavioral and psychological factors that got them there in the first place. They too, must also continuously be creative about renewing one self throughout their lifetime. So the following is for all of you who are struggling today. Those that feel they have lost their way and perhaps feel disenchanted or disappointed. Below is a recovery "map" I created a long time ago for my clients, some struggling with substance abuse, others with food. It all works the same. Print it out, or copy and paste it in the notes section of your phone and take 20 minutes to fill it out with the things that are personally meaningful for you. This is not THE answer to long term recovery from addiction, but it is a fresh approach for many who feel stale at the moment: Baptism - Some ceremony to signal a renewed sense of hope and a fresh start. One client trying to recover from substance abuse, buried all of his wine and liquor bottles in his yard. Another client had a "garbage party" with her kiddos, and they loved smashing all the processed foods they had in their pantry and throwing them in the trash. Associations/triggers list all of the things that get you into trouble (being at a bbq, wanting to celebrate something, holidays, 7-10pm at night, date night, etc) Coping Skills (what gets you through the crave waves) These are the behaviors that you do INSTEAD of the addictive behavior. Extra credit if you are able to make a coping skill for each trigger listed above. Higher Desires/Vision of Self when you let go of your attachment to food and all the self loathing, mental, and physical heaviness it brings- what are you freeing your life up for? will you write a book? will you do more outdoor activities with your kids? do you want to resume an activity you once loved as a child? Is there a role model that inspires you that has done what you want to do? Cons Why are you doing this in the first place? These are the things that are hard to keep in mind when our reptilian mid brain (see last article) is at the wheel. What is personally meaningful? Does it age you? Does it make you feel out of control? Do you dread going on airplanes because you know you'll need an extender? does it prevent you from going to amusement parks with your kiddos? Spirituality (religion gets us into heaven, spirituality gets us out of hell) All addiction is what disconnects us from our deeper self and edges us further and further away from God (or whatever you like to call it) and our deeper spirituality. Spirituality is what allows us to move into the unknown, be comfortable with discomfort, and have faith that everything will be ok. It can include a gratitude practice, volunteering, play, aligning one self with nature, connecting with a spiritual e newsletter (mind body green, daily om, etc), generosity, etc. Daily Recovery Ritual (symbolic gesture to self every day that we are consciously devoting time to our recovery) What are the things you can do daily to symbolize to yourself that today is a new day? Keep it realistic or you won't do it. Vitamins, meditation, lemon water, supplements, self care, reaching out to a loved one, exercise, etc. Reward System What will you do for yourself if there is a certain period of time reached where you meet your goals? Will you get a massage at the end of every month? Will you plan a vacation after three months of solid goal hitting? Will you reward yourself with one day per week of going to the movies in the middle of the day and playing hooky if you're on the straight and narrow for five days? Strategy This is your "what." What are you doing daily to ensure that you are in alignment with your goals? Are you reading something fresh all the time? Do you make a timeline of your addiction and how it has affected your life? Do you go to local support meetings each week? Do you keep in touch with an online community? Do you make sure to give yourself small breaks while with the kids every day? Do you have a self care space set up in your house? Do you talk to a partner about how to change behaviors of theirs that might be hindering your efforts? can they get a mini fridge? Do you do acupuncture to balance your chi? Do you do yoga to manage your depression? Do you find a therapist? Recovery Resources (try to hit one each morning) what resources are in your pocket when you are feeling weak? bariatricpal.com? WLS journeys on Instagram? The Fix, Reddit, unique blogs documenting their weight loss journey, wls and vsg searches on Pinterest, etc. Good luck on your fresh start!

I always knew that if I could have been just a little taller, that I would have been the perfect weight. I kept asking for 4 inches every year, but Santa got confused and gave them to me in width instead of height! Well I have been on my Atkins phase for 24 hours now, and I remember how much I actually like it. I had to cut out my protein bar for the next 2 weeks until I get my fill, but that is fine because I just replace it with low cal string cheese. Cheese is my FAVORITE food in the entire world, so it doesn't bug me much. The only HUGE difference between Atkins before and Atkins now is that I am eating low fat and low cal and not doing the Taliban version of it. For those of you who need explanation, the Taliban version of Atkins consists of less than 10 grams of carbs per day, including sugar alcohols so I pretty much eat meat. Now I have relaxed that a little and allow 20 grams of carbs. Still not much, but it allows me to get in some vegetables. I also talked to our nutrition teacher at the high school and she suggested that I go to 1200 calories and eat like this BREAKFAST, SNACK, LUNCH, SNACK, DINNER, SNACK. Well I know me and if I eat a snack after dinner, the flood gates will open so I am not going to follow her advice on that one. Well I have to get back to working on school stuff. the new trimester started today, so LOTS O' PAPERWORK!

Good Morning Gang Thought I would post EARLY but see Karla has beat me :0) Ruby as to your struggles - hugs -- You need to get back to the basic - Go back to the beginning - I know it's hard after you have lost your motivation - but I think doing that - Logging calories (you were good at that) and following a healthy eating plan and not allowing so many treats - that's what gets us all the time .... Remember food is our drug of choice - plan and simple - I was talking to a lady last night from back east she's getting banded 6/17 - and I told her clean out your kitchen - get all your trigger foods out of the house - you would not leave a bottle of booze on the kitchen counter if you were an alcoholic so why would you leave a bag of cookies (or whatever) in the pantry. You explain this to your family and they should understand.. We have no control when it comes to food. I know that you get plenty of exercise cuz you walk and don't drive - but are you still doing your gym and karate (or what ever it was like that) Oh ya - Ruby met Karla (cremark) Karla meet Ruby - She is one of our Original #7 - maybe cuz we were talking about how many pple have left she came back - Ruby, Karla is a friend of Steph and was just banded and cuz Steph loves us so much asked her to join us.. Karla - My doc is tough after a fill its 7 days liquids - 7 days mushies - 7 days soft then back to regular food - I pretty much did that the 1st fill but the 2nd fill I didn't - I did like 2 days liquids then mushies then soft then regular.. 1st fill felt right away remember eating yogurt and almost pbing - but that fill seemed to dissappear within 2 weeks so I called and made another appointment - then my 2nd fill took about 2 weeks to finally settle in. Kari - My friend who's getting banded next month has knee issues - I told her that you just biked - she asked what kind of bike do you have regular or recumbent?? I didn't remember.. I think I am going to invite her to join our thread Karri - Did you get some sleep - I saw on FB that you realized that you aren't super human and needed some rest - did you get it?? Denise - How goes the battle.... Phyl - How's the knee doing - how long with DD be gone on vacation - is this the one with the little kids (thomas) so far I remember Tracy has the 2 older ones (Adam & Alisha) Steph - How's the back doing... Candice - When to you leave for France !!! Ok gang it's 5:30 - I can't beleive how fast time goes when you are on the computer !!! Gotta jump in the shower... Talk to you all when I get to work...

I have to share my good news with my Lab Band friends: My son and dil stopped over last night. They said they wanted to borrow our snow blower but the real reason was to show us a sonogram pic of our 9-weeks-gestation grandchild! I know they've been working on this for the last year, and I am so happy for them (and for me!). I suspected she was pregnant when they were living with us over Christmas and she didn't have any alcohol to drink but I figured they would tell us when they were ready. Last night was the night!

Good Morning Everyone, Naaa, I'm joking, I've been up since 12:30. I am very sore today, guess I over did it yesterday. I drove myself to the mall, went to Dillards, got a pair of shoes, a purse, and a bathing suit. I just couldn't stay home one more day. Also went to dance lessons last night. I missed last week. Couple danced for about 30 minutes. I'm paying for this today. Not bad, but sore. DH had to change my tape last night. The PS puts this sticky brown tape on all my insisions and says change it every 2 days. Why, why, why do I have to put tape on cuts and then pull it off, why. I cried just a little, and felt very nauseous and light headed. Nauseouse is a work, I CAN'T SPEElee O.K., about pain meds. They have been the worse part of this whole ordeal. I hate them. How do people get addicted to that horrid shit. Anyway, I have learned that most of the pain meds we have all taken are already mixed with acetometaphin. So, do not take Tylenol with pain meds. Taking even a smigeon too much of acetometaphin is dangerous, DANGEROUS. Vicodin, Loritab, Percocet all have aceto..... in them. O.K. that's another word I can't spellllele. You know if alcohol worked as pain meds. it would be better to take, the side effects are much less. This medical advice is 4 dollars, please send cash or money order to me. Thank you, you may also send qvc money

I get my fill on Dec 21. It is good and bad to get it at that time. I WANT to be restricted, but I never get to see my family and that will be the only time that we can Celebrate Christmas and I will be on liquids. Oh well, I have the rest of the year to eat food, and I desperately need a fill. So I emailed my dad and said that we could go out to dinner at this Mexican restaurant in my hometown (my doc is close to there and it is ~6 hours from me AND across a mountain pass) and I would just have a non-alcoholic Margarita. I don't drink alcohol because it gives me a headache so I will substitute it with sugar, my drug of choice.

So, I had a friend's wedding last night, and let me just say I had a blast. I did have a glass of wine with dinner, but then I had 3 drinks at the bar afterwards. I have not been out that late in a long time. It was also great because I'm here in Omaha without my hubby and saw some friends from high school. One of them was a guy friend who told me that he had never looked at my a$$ so much. It was a great compliment. Now I just need to work the 3 white russians off that I had. I can tell you though that I haven't had any alcohol for about 8 months, so needless to say, it hit me pretty hard!! But, I had a GREAT TIME. On Friday, the bride-to-be and I went shopping because I needed a new pair of dress pants for the wedding as mine were so big that they looked horrible. We went to Dress Barn and they had their holiday dresses out. I decided to try on a couple and picked up an 18 & 20 to try on. The 20 was way too big, and the 18 fit well, but a little big in a couple areas. My friend told me to hold on and she went to the rack and grabbed a 16 and it fit. I was so surprised, and almost bought it, but I couldn't justify spending that kind of money on a dress I wouldn't be able to wear at home. I was super excited though because it's been over 11 years (since the start of my senior year) that I was able to fit into a 16. Jeans are still another story, but that will come with time, I just couldn't believe it. So, talking about mini goals, I think I'm doing well on the Thanksgiving challenge. Before I left, I was down to 230 (5 pounds for the challenge), which I might add is the same weight as my hubby, so sometime in the next two weeks I should weigh less than him for the first time ever. My other mini goal (since I can see it now) is to get to onderland. I'd love to be there by my b-day on Jan 25th, and now I really do think I'll be able to hit that goal. So, put me down for another 10 pounds between Thanksgiving & Christmas. I'm so glad I have you guys as you truly do understand what I'm feeling and how excited I am with the little things!! I hope you all had great weekends, and I'll check back soon. ~Nichole

Good Afternoon! Hot here again today.... 90 something. Went for a scooter ride for an hour or so but so hot my neck was getting burned and the back of my pants were soaking wet with sweat when we got back! I had to change my pants so I could sit on the couch! Earlier in the week the weather report said it was going to cool off by this weekend. Now, no end in sight, the last I heard! On the internet front things are looking up. Office wanted to know how many days I signed up for Wi-Fi vs. how many days I actually got. So I put that in writing and turned it in. About an hour later, a new WiFi tower/antenna was installed right behind our RV!! Coincidence, I imagine, but it was funny! And encouraging! Signal is very strong but I can't use it because they wont' give me the password until they work out some "gliches"! Frustrating. The signal is so strong it keeps overriding others in the nieghborhood that we've been using! Worried about my Thurs morning weigh in! The weather is so nice, everyone outside and a casual outside encounter can quickly turn into sitting on someone's patio sipping wine!! Friday night we have Octoberfest... I inquired about the menu... brats, sauerkraut and potato salad! No beer... no alcohol at the clubhouse.

I have been thinking about all this too. I know my hubby loves me and he's all for it. I wonder if it is more about it or me. He has never had weight issues. I think he has been ashamed of me at times. He is a functioning alcoholic and could sometimes be very cruel. Not to take the blame away from myself, but a lot of this has stemmed from that. But after 37 yrs and me being 65, a little late, but guess what, I'm doing something for me. I will try to keep his life disrupted as much as possible, but if it is going to put a monkey wrench in what I need, not happening. Sometimes I think that they worry about just not being number one. It won't last long. They can be number 2 long enough for me to take care of my battle. I hope this doesn't sound bad, but I just think sometimes you have to be first to yourself. We all only have one life. Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

you will be able to drink with your meals if you really want to. I went to a friends for afternoon tea which was a lovely platter and drinks ( non alcoholic) i panicked and thought how do i do this without offending, I ate a little bit had a little drink it worked fine i have done it a couple of time since without an issue. I try to have a drink before food unless its soda then i have it after for obvious reason I try to avoid soda around meal times but I can drink with food. you will work out your limitation but i would wait til the 6 month mark before you start experimenting with things like that

I can't work out whether that's a compliment or an insult! I've had papers to write for my postgrad. They all went in yesterday (woohoo!) so i'm officially on university holidays for the next four weeks! Not on holidays from work, unfortunately, but such is life. I've also been busy reading your book - you should be pleased! And actually I don't drink alcohol at all! I haven't had a drink for 2 years now. Believe it or not! :rolleyes2:

What Your Doctor Can’t Tell You If you are considering bariatric surgery, you’ve probably done some research. You may have looked up “gastric bypass” on the internet, read some blogs, or perhaps you’ve gone so far as to discuss the possibilities with your doctor. You may have a decent grasp of the physical side of this surgery. But there are some things even the best surgeon can’t tell you. I’m talking about the emotional side of taking this life-changing step. The emotional roller coaster of trying and failing to lose weight does not disappear when you decide to use bariatric surgery to get control of your life. But, it does become easier when you know what to expect, and when you see that you are not alone. I speak with authority on the subject of bariatric surgery and the emotional struggle that goes with it — I’ve been there. Seven years ago, I had a gastric bypass. This process took me from being barely able to function to living a magnificent life as an authentic and productive person. But it wasn’t a walk in the park. As a person who has been through the surgery personally, and as a clinician (I am a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) I bring deep experience to this subject. And I’m anxious to share what I learned. I want to make it clear up front that I am speaking as a clinician and someone who has been through weight loss surgery and the difficult recovery process — I am not a nutritionist or medical practitioner. The full tale of my own personal journey is recorded in my book Recovering My Life: A Personal Bariatric Story and in videos and Facebook posts I recorded during and after my surgery. I began emotional eating as a response to childhood trauma. And, though I had dieted over and over again since high school, I weighed over 200 pounds at the birth of my second child. At that point, my medical problems included sleep apnea, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). By the time my third child was born, I was pre-diabetic, with gestational diabetes. Many days, I was too tired from sleep apnea to even get out of bed. I could barely take care of my kids, and I felt like the worst mom on the planet. Fighting My Way Through I had always thought only slackers had weight loss surgery. But when a friend had a gastric bypass, she convinced me that, for people with weight loss resistance, this was a good option. I consulted my doctor. He approved, and I began fighting my way back to health. And it was a battle. I made mistakes, but I learned from them, and I persevered. Today, I have maintained my weight loss, and I am healthy. I am a better mom to my kids, and I have a thriving group practice and run a nonprofit foundation I created to assist people in our community to heal the brokenness in their lives. And I met and married my second husband and have a great marriage. If you’re thinking about bariatric surgery, or if you’ve already had a procedure done, it’s important to move forward with all the information you need — including the physical and emotional ups and downs. My recovery was a difficult journey, but I would do it again a million times over. Knowing what I know now wouldn’t eliminate the challenges I had to overcome before and after surgery. But, it would make the whole thing less scary. That’s what I hope my story does for you — help you avoid the mistakes I made and feel more confident in your success. Understanding Weight Loss Struggles & Bariatric Surgery Causes of Morbid Obesity What is Bariatric Surgery? Getting Ready for Surgery Mental & Emotional Preparation Advocating for Yourself After Surgery is Approved Building Support Planning Pre-Surgery Weight Loss What You Will Need Immediately After Surgery In the Hospital The First Few Days at Home Ongoing Recovery Physical Issues Emotional Issues Other Issues Potential Issues After Weight-Loss Surgery Emotional Challenges Health Problems Relationships Understanding Weight Loss Struggles & Bariatric Surgery Why Do People End Up Morbidly Obese Well-meaning acquaintances, friends, and relatives may suggest that you’re “taking the easy way out” by pursuing bariatric surgery. They can make you feel guilty for even considering this as a last resort. Why can’t you just lose the weight on your own? Genetic predisposition. Some are genetically predisposed to gain weight, even when they exercise, even when they try to diet. Certain hormone imbalances and disorders can also make it hard to stay at a healthy weight. Emotional eating. The barrier that keeps most morbidly obese people from losing weight is that our eating is connected with our emotions. Early on, many of us learned to use food as a way to cope. Food for us is not just fuel; it’s the way we deal with life’s problems and blows. Regardless of the particular cause, some of us have been on one diet or another all our lives. We have lost the same 50, 70, or 100 pounds over and over. In fact, our attempts to lose weight have made us worse off. Along with the health effects of too much weight, we carry the shame of failure and frustration. Weight and Your Wellbeing The physical health problems associated with obesity are many and serious: high cholesterol, high blood pressure, acid reflux, gall bladder disease, congestive heart failure. Type two diabetes, hypoglycemia, asthma, sleep apnea and other sleep problems, fertility problems, arthritis, lack of energy. Knee and back pain, gout, migraines, psychosocial stress. Even scarier: liver disease, increased risk of cancer, risk of stroke, and earlier death. Associated emotional problems that stem from these conditions can also make it harder to overcome them. For example, you may be struggling with depression, anxiety, and guilt. Sometimes, the biggest problem we have to face is the low self-esteem that goes along with being the biggest person in the room. What Is Bariatric Surgery? Bariatric surgery is not a cosmetic procedure. We may hope to look better after losing weight, but the best reasons for undergoing this major surgery are to extend and improve our lives. The common term for bariatric surgery is “weight-loss surgery.” It means any surgical procedure on the stomach or intestines that aims at weight loss. Doctors have been performing these surgeries since the 1950s, with a good success rate. The most common procedures are lap band, with a success rate of 47%; gastric sleeve, with a success rate of 80%; and gastric bypass, which has an 85% success rate. Another procedure, duodenal switch, has a success rate of 95%, but is more complicated and less common in the U.S. These procedures support weight loss while requiring lifestyle changes. Drastic weight loss can motivate you to keep on the road to better health. Whichever procedure you choose, pre- and post-operative education is key to developing lasting, healthy habits. Getting Ready for Surgery Mentally and Emotionally Preparing Convincing others — and yourself — this is the best solution Your first job is to conquer your own hesitance about weight-loss surgery. Even asking about it takes courage. Then, when you’ve reached the point of seriously considering it, you need to be prepared for a long haul. You will need to get lots of people on board with your decision. First, your family — maybe not extended family, but certainly the people you live with day to day. Next, you need your doctor to approve your decision. No matter how much you hate to get weighed, you will need a referral from your primary physician. And, you need to convince your insurance carrier that bariatric surgery is necessary for your health and to prolong your life. Navigating Relief and Fear You will probably feel a profound sense of relief just to know there’s a solution to obesity- related health problems. But along with that relief comes worry. It’s major surgery. Things could go very wrong. You might even die. Will having surgery be worth it? What if you can’t get the weight off during those post-surgery months? What if you can’t keep it off and all this trouble and pain is for nothing? After all, you’ve tried and tried to lose weight and it hasn’t worked — or only worked for a short time. Then there’s having to consult with medical personnel and, even worse, insurance representatives, to advocate for yourself. You’ll have to talk about your weight, which means confronting the shame that goes with it. You may worry that people will think you’re weak — that you’re taking the easy way out. How do you overcome that prejudice? Especially since part of you still shares it. Overcoming Resistance And what about all those hoops you have to jump through? You have to have at least six months of records showing your weight on a regular basis and detailing your attempts to lose it. When you can’t bear the sight of your own body, much less the weight on the scale, how are you going to face that challenge? Your research, from articles to videos, shows people who’ve had bariatric surgery eating impossibly small portions. You hear about all the restrictions ahead: first, a liquid diet; then mashed food; then, even when you get back to “normal,” ongoing restrictions, such as not drinking with meals. How will you ever be able to eat normally again — how will you ever be able to eat out? These are mental challenges it won’t be easy to meet. But if you want to be well again, if you want a long, productive life, it is possible to work through them. Advocating for Yourself I was fortunate that my primary care physician was willing to support my bariatric surgery decision from the beginning. But you may have to work to convince your medical advisor that this route is good for you. Advocating for yourself isn’t easy, especially if, like most of us who suffer from morbid obesity, you don’t like calling attention to yourself and your weight. To succeed, you must learn how to speak up for yourself. Here are some suggestions. Decide what you want. Believe in yourself! Know the facts. Educate yourself about bariatric surgery and potential issues. Plan. You need a strategy for recovery and ongoing lifestyle changes. Gather support. It’s helpful to have family, friends, and people who have similar issues on your side. Target your efforts. Find the best medical practitioner. Find the right person at your insurance company to plead your case to. Express yourself clearly. Tell doctors and insurance agents that you are interested in surgery and why you feel you need it. Stick to the point, and don’t give up if they say “no.” It may help to role play scenarios with a friend or family member who supports your decision. Assert yourself, but don’t lose your temper. Respect the rights of others, but ask for what you need, and then listen. Finally, don’t give up. Be firm and persistent. Follow through on what you promise. (Those six months of weight-loss records, for example.) After Surgery Is Approved You’ve made the decision to have bariatric surgery. You’re both excited and scared about taking this serious step toward improving your health and your life, but you’re going to do it. Now you need to build your support system. Nobody goes through such a major life change, such a serious physical challenge, without help. Find Your Team Choosing the right people to support you on your journey is one of the most important decisions you have to make. You will need to depend on family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who have gone through this experience before you. The most important quality to look for in your team is respect and support for your decision. You will need help with ordinary tasks and responsibilities while you are undergoing and recovering from surgery. A few needs: Someone to care for your children and pets while you’re in the hospital and perhaps during recovery at home Help cooking meals and cleaning the house Someone to accompany you to the hospital and be your advocate when you can’t do that yourself Help dealing with the inevitable emotions and stresses of major surgery and a major lifestyle change First, you have to overcome your reluctance to ask for help. Then, you have to reach out. Share your needs with family and friends who are sympathetic to your goals. If they’re not on board, you don’t have time for them right now. If it feels right to you, you can use social media to reach out. Contact your church, work friends, fellow hobbyists, and people you’ve come to know in other ways. Trust that there will be someone who can help. Be Informed and Follow Your Doctor’s Advice Use the resources available through your medical advisors. Seek out a sympathetic nurse. A therapist can help you deal with the emotional consequences of surgery and also the issues that led to your obesity in the first place. If you don’t have a therapist, maybe it’s time to make that connection. Find a good therapy group. And above all, follow your doctor’s advice! Learn as much as you can about what will be happening to your body and mind, but trust the experts. Plan for an Extended Recovery Your time in the hospital may be only three to four days, but it will take longer for you to feel “recovered.” The period (about nine months) when you are relearning how to eat and coming to terms with the smaller size of your stomach is crucial to your long-term success. There will be lots of ups and downs. Be ready for a long road to full recovery. Having support from friends and family is important, but this is the time to get involved with a support group. Being with others going through the same experience can give you the perspective you need to keep going. Even if your physical recovery is swift and relatively painless, you will have to learn how to deal with the changes in your life. If, as with many, food has been the way you deal with past trauma, uncomfortable feelings, your need for independence, or any other of life’s problems, you no longer can depend on that comfort. If food has been your addiction, you now have to kick the addictive response to it. There will be setbacks. You need to be prepared to bounce back from them. Lose Weight Before Surgery Your bariatric surgeon is likely to require you follow a weight-loss plan for a number of months (six is common) before surgery. The reasons: to make sure you really are committed to your goal of losing the excess weight, and to help you be as healthy as possible going into surgery. This can be a frustrating time. You’ve tried so many diets and exercise programs before, and none have worked. You hate thinking about your weight, and your program requires you weigh yourself daily and keep records of your weight, food intake, and exercise. You’ve made a major decision and are anxious to get it over with. But again, following your doctor’s advice is the shortest and best way to reach your goal, no matter how frustrating it feels. Confront Your Fears To make this transformative decision, you’ve already had to overcome lots of fears. Some of your fears involve others’ opinions. “What will people think?” Some arise from self-doubt. “Am I being selfish?” These are not frivolous concerns. Believe in yourself and face them. Your decision to take care of your health so that you can be there for your loved ones is a good one. Trust in yourself. Another very real fear is the fear that anyone feels when they are about to undergo major surgery. You could die. This is not a frivolous thing. It’s serious. But the vast majority of people who have surgery don’t die from it. So, face your fear realistically. At last, the big day is here. Your surgery is performed. You wake up in the hospital. Are you a different person? Is it all over now? Not yet. The journey of recovery has begun, and it will take resilience. Immediately After Surgery In the Hospital If you have built your support team, you will have fewer worries going in. Your family and home responsibilities are covered, and you have people to support you in the hospital and after you return home. But that doesn’t mean there won’t be challenges. During the initial stages of recovery, hospital staff will be checking your blood pressure, oxygen levels, and more. You may feel as though you are always being poked and prodded at, with little privacy. Thankfully, this stage doesn’t last forever, Your doctors will advise you about the physical challenges that may follow bariatric surgery: constipation, dumping syndrome (nausea, vomiting, and weakness caused by eating high sugar meals, sodas, and fruit juices), possible infection of the wound, and possible leaks in the new connections. But medical advice may not give you the information you need about the emotional side effects. One consequence of the surgery I noticed immediately: I no longer felt like eating. My hunger hormones were gone for a period of time. I had to force myself to eat, and I felt weak. Others report that they felt hungry during the post-op period while on a liquid diet. Hungry or not, a liquid diet can be a source of emotional stress. Be aware that different people react in different ways. The important thing is to keep following your medical and nutritional advice and trust that, in time, you’ll be feeling more normal. Another potential problem is “food grief.” Food has a special meaning for people who suffer from morbid obesity, and “mourning for lost foods is a natural step in the re-birth process after weight loss surgery.” For a long time, maybe all our lives, food was our friend. We turned to it in celebration, in sadness, for comfort, for reward. Now, we can no longer turn to food. We have to find other ways to fill the void food once filled for us. Along with the pain associated with surgery comes the challenge of managing it. The pain medication you are given in the hospital may not work for you. Keep advocating for yourself until you find one that does. It may also take time to know exactly how much medication you need. Trust your doctor, but don’t be afraid to ask for a higher dose if you are in pain, or a lower dose if you are experiencing other unpleasant side effects. It’s worth reiterating here, I am not a nutritionist or medical practitioner. And, I am certainly not advocating for you to ignore your doctor’s advice. Rather, by telling your doctor how you feel when you’re on pain medication, he or she may be able to transition you to a more effective medicine or dosage in a safe, supervised way. Other challenges: meeting the medical requirements for discharge from the hospital and meeting your own fears and expectations. Will you be ready to be sent home? How will you manage after you get there? Your First Few Days at Home Your first major challenge will be dealing with pain and managing your pain medication. If you’re like me, you will want to get off medication as soon as possible. But follow your doctor’s advice. Pain meds usually require tapering off. Quitting “cold turkey” is likely to cause withdrawal symptoms, such as feelings of anxiety or depression, trouble sleeping, headaches, night sweats, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. I made the mistake of not tapering off my pain meds and lived to regret it. You — and members of your family — might be appalled at how little you eat. You might worry about not getting enough of the right nutrition — protein, for example. The combination of pain, medication, and lack of hunger hormones can mean almost total loss of appetite. Feeling responsible for things at home may make you push yourself too hard, especially if loved ones need you. Preplanning for getting help during this early recovery period is important. You will need to have both physical and emotional support in place. Recognize that even though they care, some people won’t be able to help. But don’t be afraid to ask. Take baby steps. Your recovery has many facets: overcoming pain and regaining your physical strength are just the beginning. Emotional adjustment to the new circumstances of this life-changing step is major and ongoing. Therapist Lynne Routsong-Wiechers, herself a successful bariatric surgery patient, lists “Seven Steps to Improving Emotional Adjustments Post-Surgery” in her article, “Baby Steps — Emotional Adjustments to Weight-Loss Surgery.” Follow your doctor’s orders. Ask questions when you have them and express concerns, but trust your doctor’s recommendations and prioritize your physical health. Keep a journal. You can use this to keep track of the foods you eat, as well as whether or not you are emotionally eating, but you might also choose to express what you’re thinking and feeling. This will be a private record, just for you. Remember, you are more than your diet and weight. Write down realistic goals and expectations. Celebrate when you meet them! Reflect on the past. Remember why you decided to make this change, and honor how far you’ve come. Take plenty of photos and keep your old clothes. This will help you physically see your immense transformation. Call on that support team you’ve created. Look forward to living life to the fullest! Ongoing Recovery Physical Issues Even after you’ve conquered the first few days after surgery, the challenges go on. This early recovery stage can last from one to six weeks. The specifics vary with the particular procedure, but here’s a general outline of your physical recovery: Develop strategies to deal with these attacks: exercise, journaling, and deep breathing are a few suggestions. Seek help if your attacks are severe. Focus on One Part of Your Body You might find yourself focusing on one body part. For me, it was my double chin. I had lost inches from my waistline and was making good progress, but when I looked in the mirror and saw that same double chin, I felt like I was making no progress at all. This kind of body image distortion, if it becomes obsessive, can lead to Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), a mental health disorder. People with BDD can spend hours a day obsessing about their appearance. These obsessions and the low self-esteem that results can make them avoid social situations, have problems at work or school, or even lead to suicidal thoughts or suicide attempts. It’s important to seek help and support if you feel yourself becoming fixated. Remember that no body is perfect, and people are much more like to think about their own “flaws” than notice yours. Practice positive self-talk and try to replace thoughts about your body with something else, such as a new hobby or activity. Now that you’ve lost weight, a whole new world is open to you! Health Problems It’s not uncommon for patients to regain some weight after surgery, although it’s a myth that many patients regain all their lost weight. Regaining Weight Regaining even a small amount of weight can feed your fear. What if you stretch the pouch and end up gaining weight back or stalling your weight-loss? What if you have to go back to the hospital for something and you gain weight because of the treatment? About half of all bariatric surgery patients regain weight after two years. But the average regain is about 8% after reaching the lowest point, and total ten-year excess weight loss is still over 50%. The main reasons for regaining weight are: how much excess weight you carried before surgery, alcohol or drug abuse, lack of a support system, or having a psychological problem or food “addiction.” Realize that even if you regain some weight, you are still healthier than you were before surgery. Take steps to avoid the main reasons for weight gain. Be aware of the dangers of a substitute addiction to alcohol or drugs. Get yourself a support system and use it. Get treatment if you suspect you are overeating because of food addiction. Plateauing Don’t lose hope if you stop losing weight for a few days. These things happen. You can overcome the weight loss plateau. Your metabolism may have slowed because you couldn’t exercise after surgery. You can start losing weight again. Focus on getting the right amount and intensity of exercise. Track your heart rate. You should be exercising at 60 to 85% of your maximum heart rate (220 minus your age). Vary your exercise routine to keep yourself challenged. Be sure to drink enough water, and continue eating right. Complications I worried that something would get stuck in the very small connection between my stomach pouch and small intestine. Would I have to go to the emergency room? Could something else happen to me? As with all surgeries, there can be complications with bariatric surgery. But this surgery is very safe (99.8% survival rate). And less than 10% of patients have a complication. Though the list of complications is fairly long, most are not life-threatening (e.g., indigestion, diarrhea or constipation, nausea and vomiting, dumping syndrome). Some can be prevented by self-care. Stick to your bariatric diet, follow your doctor’s instructions, inform yourself about what to look for, and share your worries with your doctor. Sutures I had difficulty with sutures coming out before they were supposed to. Others have had infections at the wound site. Monitor the site of your surgery and consult your doctor if things aren’t going right. Hypoglycemia Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) happens when after eating, a rise in blood sugar makes your body produce more insulin, which then lowers blood sugar. Unless it’s extreme, this can be managed by changes in your diet. Nutritional Deficiencies Common vitamin and mineral deficiencies among bariatric surgery patients are Vitamin B12, Folate and Zinc, iron, copper, Calcium, and Vitamin D. Potassium deficiency can also be a problem, causing nausea, cramping, and dry skin. Supplements may help. Consult your doctor and dietician. Dehydration The recommended daily intake of water — 64 ounces — may be hard to get down, particularly right after surgery. Eight cups sounds like a lot, but if you break it down to one-fourth cup every 15 minutes for eight of the twelve or so hours you are awake, it is manageable. There’s an app for reminding you when to drink at GetHYApp.com. Clothing Especially in the early weeks and months after surgery, when you are dropping weight fast, you may find you can’t find anything to wear. This may sound like a minor problem, but you might be caught off guard by how much you spend on new clothes as you lose weight rapidly. While you are changing sizes every week or two, you may want to find some ways to save money: Borrow clothes or shop at thrift stores. Shop your closet. Now’s the time to wear those too small items you just couldn’t part with when you were heavier. Don’t buy too much. Get exactly what you need until the next size change. Buy just a few practical basics and splurge on accessories. Don’t buy for the future. Clothes that fit and flatter now are better for your confidence. Alter. If you can’t alter your own clothes, find someone who can and get items altered as you lose weight. Most things can be taken in. Exchange Clothing. If you’re in a support group, consider swapping clothes with other group members. Relationships Social Life Your new body may allow you to make new decisions: to start dating or to go to the beach. But because your body image may not have caught up with the reality of your new body, you may still have the self-doubts you had before. Part of your mind still thinks the way you did before surgery. You may feel unattractive, even invisible. Inside, you still feel fat. Negative self-talk may still be your go-to response to interacting socially with other people. Counseling, a support group, and self-affirmations can help. Most importantly, give yourself credit for all you have accomplished. You’ve come a long way. Different Reactions Sad, but true. Not all of your friends and family will react positively to the new you. Old friends, even family members, may envy or resent your new look. Family, friends, and even strangers may have a range of reactions to the changes in you. Your children may support you, but carry a lot of anxiety, fearing that you may die. Some may become diet police, worried that you’ll regain the weight and ill health of your days of obesity. Some will trust you to know your own needs. Know that others’ reactions don’t mean anything about you. You are taking care of yourself, and that’s a good thing. Getting More Attention Now that you have lost weight, you are probably getting more attention. This may make you uncomfortable. Obesity goes with isolation. In fact, some people use their weight to keep from being in the spotlight. Being noticed may be flattering, but it can also be stressful. Jealousy If you’re married or in a relationship your significant other may be jealous of all the attention you’re getting from other people. Your spouse might fear that the new you might leave the relationship and so may try to sabotage your efforts to maintain your weight loss. Your overweight friends might be jealous in a different way. If monthly dinners out with your “foodie” friends were the main thing that kept you together, or if these friends are not sympathetic to your weight loss efforts, they may, consciously or unconsciously, sabotage you. Remember to surround yourself with people who support you. Don’t judge others who may be struggling, but don’t sacrifice your progress to please them. Guarding Against Judgment The different way strangers and acquaintances perceive you now may make you feel flattered, but also confused and even resentful. You may wonder — do these people like you for yourself, or are they just attracted to your new appearance? Would they have liked you before? People you don’t see every day may not recognize you. Others may make you feel that you’re being judged for your decision to have the surgery. You may be re-introducing yourself to one person and defending yourself to another. It’s understandable that you may be struggling with your sense of self. But, remember, you are worthy of kindness at any weight. Be your own best support. Honoring Your Accomplishment You can’t control the beliefs and behavior of other people, but you can be true to your goals and to yourself. Keep honoring your decision, your hard work, your determination, and your truly astonishing accomplishments. Whatever others say or imply, you are a brave and magnificent person, and you deserve a magnificent life. Embrace Your Future Bariatric surgery is a last-resort choice for losing weight that is killing you. Deciding to go ahead with it and working through all the barriers and difficulties is not for the faint of heart. But for those who choose to go forward, it can be life-saving in many ways. By arming yourself with information about what to expect, you can feel prepared to navigate the weight loss surgery process with greater confidence and ease. Keep coming back to this guide and check in with yourself at every step along the way. Before, immediately after, and long after surgery, remember these key points: Create a support system Take care of your body Believe in yourself No matter where you are in your surgery journey, you deserve the new life you have given yourself. Enjoy. Links https://asmbs.org/resources/estimate-of-bariatric-surgery-numbers https://obesitynewstoday.com/gastric-bypass-success-rate/ https://www.caroladkisson.com/books/ https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/feeling-hungry-less-than-a-week-after-gastric-bypass-surgery-is-this-normal.html http://www.boxingscene.com/weight-loss/54558.php https://www.consumerreports.org/health/avoid-withdrawal-symptoms-from-prescription-painkillers/ http://www.obesityaction.org/educational-resources/resource-articles-2/weight-loss-surgery/baby-steps-emotional-adjustments-after-weight-loss-surgery https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/bariatric-surgery-recovery.html#Support_Main https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/bariatric-surgery/basics/what-you-can-expect/prc-20019138 https://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/239270-joint-aches-and-pains/ http://www.mybariatriclife.org/chronic-fatigue-after-bariatric-surgery/ http://www.livestrong.com/article/456678-feeling-cold-all-the-time-after-a-gastric-bypass/ https://www.leaf.tv/articles/how-to-avoid-skin-problems-after-gastric-bypass/ https://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/features/you-lost-weight-what-about-extra-skin#2 https://www.drdkim.net/ask-the-dietitian/understanding-hair-loss-after-bariatric-surgery/ http://www.yourbariatricsurgeryguide.com/psych-impact/ http://www.bmiut.com/mood-changes-bariatric-surgery/ https://www.njbariatriccenter.com/eating-out-after-weight-loss-surgery/ https://www.bariatriceating.com/2013/11/what-medications-are-off-limits-after-my-bariatric-surgery/ https://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/the-emotional-health-risks-of-bariatric-surgery.aspx http://www.yourbariatricsurgeryguide.com/psych-impact/ https://www.tijuanabariatrics.com/blog/2017/04/18/is-a-ketogenic-diet-safe-181655 https://www.ucsfhealth.org/education/dietary_guidelines_after_gastric_bypass/ https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/weight-gain-after-gastric-bypass.html#Diet-and-Life-After-Main http://www.yourbariatricsurgeryguide.com/psych-impact/ https://weightwise.com/avoid-body-image-distortion-weight-loss-surgery/ http://bariatrictimes.com/depression-after-bariatric-surgery-triggers-identification-treatment-and-prevention/ http://blog.riversidesurgicalweightloss.com/blog/manage-anxiety-after-surgery https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/other-related-conditions/body-dysmorphic-disorder-bdd https://asmbs.org/patients/bariatric-surgery-misconceptions https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/weight-gain-after-gastric-bypass.html https://mybariatricsolutions.com/overcoming-and-preventing-the-weight-loss-plateau/ https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/complications-of-gastric-bypass-surgery.html#General_Safety-Main http://gethyapp.com/ https://weightwise.com/how-to-shop-for-clothes-after-weight-loss-surgery/ https://www.bariatric-surgery-source.com/marriage-family-strangers-after-weight-loss-surgery.html

Hi girls~ A listener, not a talker....huh! Tell my DH! Love the shoes Haydee! Heather I would love to meet you too! Laura, I do the same with the mod stuff---and I rode the fence in this disaster. I refuse to say more! LOL As for the Moms and the kids---do either of your Moms read much? Maybe a couple of books on enabling, and the written word of someone else, reiterating what you have been saying....otherwise I have no idea. My parents finally did just like Terry with my brother. He got arrested for DWI, and in the holding cell, he had a seizure, well come to find out, he had been trying to quit drinking, and with his brain injury and the detoxing, he was having seizures. He was unconcious in his truck, not passed out from alcohol. But they made the choice NOT to remove him from the charges, and allowed the charge to be changed to DUI (driving under the influence as opposed to driving while intoxicated) which could cover driving while taking Tylenol even! It caused him to get a mandatory jail sentence of 28 days, and he could receive medical aid while detoxing. They knew he wanted to quit, but with the brain injury, it messes with his short term memory, and makes quitting harder than even normal. They thought with 28 days sobriety, maybe it would "take". It did, he has been sober for many years now. But it was hard, my parents both aged seriously, visiting their son in jail was not something they ever planned to do. But it was better than visiting him at the funeral home, or in prison from causing an accident that hurt someone else or killed him. Hard choices, but worth it. BTW Laura, I am sending you a PM with info on Gone4ever. She met up with you for the formula. She just got a cancer diagnosis, and is facing a really hard time. Another weekend of wood cutting coming up, then WE are done. Still have to haul for the in laws. NOT a happy subject with me. What's new??!!! DS had an accident today----he got ticketed, and he says it was not his fault, so guess he will fight it in court. Stressed us for awhile. Well I am off to bed. See you all soon.

Morning Girls. Heather, that is horrible. I was hoping that you were going to say that is was the pottasium and that you didn't need the surgery. I'm so sorry you had to go thru all of that and that you couldn't spend that time enjoying Ayla. I agree with Judy about you and Laura, so I'm not going to get pregnant either. With both Laura and Heather having problems, it makes me really want to protect my band even more. Terri, good luck on the -4 and I am keeping all of you in my prayers. Last night I went over to the neighbors to sit on the deck. she has one of those firepits. We ended up fixing S'mores. I ate one and a few marshmallows(burnt). We had a good time and guess what? I didn't have any alcohol. LOL. Everyone have a great day.