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As well you should be, green. The documentation surrounding the (often silent or hidden) grief that mothers suffer after abortion is overwhelming. I know you haven't struggled at all with your decision, but it is not uncommon for those who have to turn to all sorts of unpleasant things (drugs, alcohol, etc., even leading down the path to suicide). It is a good start that she is expressing her grief to you now. The information I'm posting is from a pro-life group, but the research is nevertheless lengthy and valid: The Character of Post Abortion Syndrome - David C. Reardon.. I'm still waiting to hear back from some organizations about resources specific to Toronto. Most of my sources are US-based so I don't know how successful I'll be. I'll lyk when I know more.

Harsh? No, Ignorant of the facts in her life at the time, yes. That child would have been doomed to a life suffering from the mothers mistakes, born addicted to drugs and alcohol, born into a life of pain and anguish. Shortly after she had the abortion she put herself into rehab, cleaned up her life and left her ex. That sequence of events was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life. Starting with aborting a child that was a part of her. You can say she took the "easy irresponsible" way out all you want, you do not know her, you do not know how much this choice haunts her. But she knows she made the right choice. She lives her life now for her unborn child, her sobriety her choosing to move forward and leave the relationship she was in was for this child's memory. In the end the ONLY person she has to answer to is her God, not you, not me, not some poor stuttering protesting schmuck on the street. Until you are in her shoes, you can't honestly pass judgment on her choices in life. Isn't the bible the one that states "let he who is with out sin cast the first stone"?? You got a handful of pebbles darlin, but I don't see your halo or wings anywhere.

Ever since this story aired on the evening news I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. For years the National Weight Control Registry has been keeping records and documentation of those who have lost weight and kept it off for years. The term “Super Dieters” tends to turn me off a bit because we all know diets don’t work and no one should be called “Super” as if figuring out how to manage your weight somehow gives you magic powers. I’ve been a member for several years. The questions are extensive… they ask everything you eat, your activity, how much you weigh, did you gain, did you lose, etc. Ok…. so they gave us six tips these people seem to have in common and I’m thinking most people won’t get past the first one. Just like knowing the sky is blue, this first tip will be just like being told it isn’t….but what if this nugget is really spot-on? Truth is it won’t apply to everyone but I’m going to attempt to explain why it might apply to way more than you think. Let’s get the next part over with (the posting of the list) so we can go ahead and get done with the screaming after reading the first rule. Rule No. 1. Don’t ever cheat. They never give themselves a break, not even on holidays or weekends. Rule No. 2. Eat breakfast. The National Weight Control Registry shows that’s one of the most common traits of those who succeed in keeping those pounds off once and for all. Rule No. 3. Get on a scale every day. Rule No. 4. Put in the equivalent of a four-mile walk seven days a week. Rule No. 5. Watch less than half as much TV as the overall population. Rule No. 6. Eat 50 to 300 calories less than most people. So rule 4,5, and 6 deal with the “stuff” we’ve heard forever….calories in/calories out. For years I never ate breakfast because every day for over three decades I woke up with the idea that I would go as long as possible without eating. Too bad no one was around to tell me in the 4th grade that I was destroying my metabolism. So check…Rule 2 is a given. Since finding out there are about approximately 2,000 steps in a mile, most days…Rule 4, check! Rule 5 done. Sometimes I watch TV while I’m walking so I’m not sure exactly how that fits in. Rule 3 is an absolute for me. “Hello scale” every morning…it just gives me feedback and it has no special monster powers. I’ll do a “part two” in order to cover this in another post because this one is for everyone still laying on the floor from a cold faint after reading Rule 1. My surgery was nearly 13 years ago and I’ve learned many, many things. Some beliefs that were absolutes changed and Rule 1 was one of them. I’ve told this before and I’m telling it again. Early on I would allow myself my one guilty pleasure ONLY IF I was able to get 5 pounds below goal. (It was a Quarter Pounder with cheese – insert my self induced shame). I was somehow able to stick to that but what I noticed was on the days I couldn’t have it, I wanted it! Eventually it became harder and nearly impossible to get 5 pounds below goal and after some period of time I also realized that I was beginning to forget how my “crack” meal tasted. Then I totally forgot and I didn’t even crave it anymore. Because I stopped eating it I had successfully rewired my brain to lose the cravings. I was also acutely aware the cravings would come right back if I ate another one…even one bite. Um….duh. That’s sort of like quitting cigarettes and having one just for fun after 3 years. I’ll say this again too. For me, the idea of taking a bite of something to get past the craving equates to giving an alcoholic a sip of beer to stop the craving. SOME of us can take these bites but so many cannot. If I had a quarter for every post-op that told me the M&M story, I could take a trip to Mexico. The M&M story you might ask? Maybe it’s because they are tiny…but the story always starts the same. “I was doing great for 2 years, 4 years, (sometimes even longer) and I ate one M&M. Really what could that hurt? Next it was two then three…then a small bag, a bigger bag.” Some call it testing the waters. They went such a long time without one single M&M and nobody died, they certainly didn’t miss out on anything of nutritional value and they were doing great until they decided they could try just one. In other words they never cheated during that time and most were at the weight they wanted to be or at least smaller than after they started the M&M’s. You CAN be abstinent from sugar and junk food and it is far easier if you have none instead of a little for those that struggle with not being able to stop. Again let me repeat….IF you can “eat just one”, go for it. I’m beyond thrilled for you!!! If you find you are not losing or you are in the process of regain, you could always try stopping any food you don’t wish to crave. Try it for a month but approach it one day at a time. When I’m somewhere and there’s a bowl of M&M’s, I look at it as if it’s a bowl of cyanide. Sugar put me in the prison of an obese body and at the end I would have rather died than spend another day at my heaviest weight. And really….if you were a drug addict would you allow yourself a cheat snort once a week? This is a great quote that applies. 100% is easy, 99% is a b***h. Not eating processed sugar and junk food 100% is so easy but 99% leaves a ton of wiggle room. It has became totally effortless for me to avoid these foods but please don’t misunderstand…..my journey is still something I work on every….single…day. If you still think this is utterly ridiculous, file it away for later. My favorite quote: There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation. It means don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. And just in case you might have missed this before… I’ll leave you with an oldie but goodie.. .

Try your best to do a real, honest head-check, especially where wine is concerned. I don't know if alcohol is an issue for you (it is for me) but you must be very careful. Especially so early. I drank wine at 5 weeks out and regret it. At only 12 weeks, it continues to be a problem for me and always will be. In addition, it greatly slows the rate of loss for a variety of reasons. It is very early on for you to be on this slippery slope. But if you are not able to control what you eat, at least chew things to an absolute mush consistency as much as possible and avoid wine. Tell yourself it will still be there, and you can have it down the road.

First and foremost, food is an addiction just like smoking or alcohol. We all have reasons why we use food to "soothe" us. Emotional, past history, boredom, depression, joy, celbrations, family, culture, etc., etc. No excuses - just reality. Our brains chemically "change" the perspectives of our bodies partly due to the foods we eat. (I teach biology, by the way). It takes discipline and training to change remove our bodies from an addiction. Even with the lap band, my BRAIN STILL WANTS the same foods in the same amounts I have always eaten. However (and I thank God for this), my BAND will not allow me to eat that food, in those same amounts. After time with a band, and discipline combined with success - we CAN re-train our bodies away from the NEED for the food. Believe it. We can. It is no 'fast cure'. It will take time. Our 'fast food - I want it now' society doesn't help us deal with this very well, but if we are diligent and patient . . . the band will help us make this change. NOT do it for us, but HELP us. Hang in there everyone. I have enough HOPE for us all.

It is, it's absolutely stupid and a great way to lose a band to infection. Alcohol and a sterile needle does not make for sterile technique. It's NOT like drawing blood, whole different ball game.

Wholey smokes, look at this place... LOVE IT !!!! Anne, your NOT barging in, this site is for everyone, I'm so glad your here. Hope your head is feeling better, I always get sick on alcohol, at most I could drink 2 beers, now thats not even possible. Don't really miss it so thats one thing good I have going LOL. I dusted off my dreadmill too and tomorrow morning my ass will be on it. Enuf playing around, time to get down and dirty How long do you work out on it for? Pat, your car sounds BEAUTIFUL !!! bet is smells purdy. I love the smell of a new car, new babies and cabbage patch dolls hehehe. I love that santa, how cute he is with his little whip :confused: Cindy, all my clothes still fit me. I was stretching them out, now I'm fitting in them comfortably. Good for you for getting the old out and getting new stuff... bet it makes you feel pretty and new. The way every woman should feel. Have fun cleaning what are Mom's for right. John, I think its awsome that you are journaling your food. My gosh, you've done such a marvelous job. I see your struggling with the last few pounds but can I ask you something ????? Could the pounds be from excess skin and not necessarily fat? What ever you do, don't get discouraged like I did when I lost 150 lbs. The last 10 lbs I though was fat was actually lose skin... I got so frustrated that I started gaining b/c I felt it was a loosing battle. Ask your doctor what he/she thinks. Hugs to you my man Betty you always have the best parties to go to. Glad you had fun. 82 degrees OH MY !!!! Its rainy, cold, clamy and cold and cold and cold here LOLOL !!!! snow tuesday too...ick. Can I come visit ? Leslie.... your from dirty jersey LOL !!! no kidding. Where are you from? this is too cool !!. Your in a size 14???? OMG how cool is that. I would love to be a 14. Would be so happy and wouldn't complain a lick. Congratulations !!!!! Well folks, I threw out the chips, Cookies, dip, and tomorrow my rump is on the dreadmill. My mediterranian diet starts tomorrow Friday is my first fill and I am SOOOOOO ready. The past 2 weeks of eating had got me down, but PO'd at the same time. Anger can be a good thing lol. How's everyone doing eating and exercising? Did you start today, tomorrow? whats your plan, whats your dream? My 2006 dream is to be healthy, exercise and get closer to the Lord. I've been drifting and I wanna come home next.....

1) I am a huge (no pun intended) Star Trek fan, too. My husband and I gave each other the Vulcan Salute when we married. 2) I've been married to my (for lack of a better phrase) soul-mate for 18 years on August 11th. We enjoy an active and loving relationship. He doesn't keep his hands off me now--and he's already talking about "elevator" sex when I've lost weight. Oy vey. I refer to my husband as my "crash test dummy" sometimes. Oh, honey! Will this work? Now, hold that position...I need to capture it in my mind and translate it onto paper! 3) I write romance novels. I write steamy, spicy, happily-ever-after and even a few happy-for-now novels. I once received an email from a reader saying that reading my book aloud as a couple was the best foreplay they'd had in years. Cough! I have older relatives who call me the "Porno Queen." Grrrr. I do not write porno. I do write bodice-rippers and crotch-burners, but there's a huge difference between romance novels and interent porn! HUGE! I have some very strong opinions about porno addiction, to wit: It broke up my cousin's 17 year marriage. It removes a level of intimacy in marriage (or bonded couples), and leaves them both unsatisfied. It desensitizes and anesthetizes. It can be a gateway drug to a seemy, smarmy underbelly of images that are both illegal and immoral--not just sexually titilating. It is a serious addiction. If you know someone with an addiction, talk to them about getting help. Alcohol, drugs, gambling, whatever. Pray, talk, point them in a direction where they can learn to overcome their addictions and regain their lives. I truly want all women to know love; to know the joys of intimacy and even if it's achieved alone, the release of climax. If, for any reason, you are not finding satisfaction in your life with your partner, please discuss it, pray on it, go seek medical advice. Loving relations are too wonderful to dismiss! I don't usually discuss this kind of thing on forums, so if I've offended anyone, I apologize. Darr

Great thread. Here's my answers: What type of weight loss surgery have you had? Sleeve 1. How long have you been in maintenance mode? 7 months 2. What's your current height and weight? 5"2 120 lbs 3. How many calories do you eat daily (on average) to maintain your weight? I don't count or measure my food but I would guess around 1500 on a normal day 4. What kind of focus do you put on protein -- number of grams or anything else you want to say? I always have protein first and at least 60 grams but I don't measure it. I still have shakes and bars but only the one's I like. You still need to plan ahead and have protein snacks handy. 5. What kind of focus do you put on carbs - number of grams or anything else you want to say? I eat whatever is not processed in any amount. ie fruits and veggies I don't worry about. I do eat oatmeal almost everyday but I put in a scoop of unflavored protein. I find having the oatmeal keeps me regular. I don't do refined carbs unless it's a treat. I think someone else put on here they'd rather have a cookie than white bread. That's exactly how I am. Not wasting the carbs on rice or pasta. 6. What other nutritional tips / tricks are working for you that help you maintain? I try to stick to the basics. I take my vitamins, get enough sleep, workout, drink water, eat my protein first. 7. Which foods, if any, do you avoid altogether? Bread, rice, pasta, fast food, pop, alcohol 8. What exercise regimen (exercise types and frequency) do you follow? I workout everyday. It makes me feel so much better to start my day. I run 2x, spin 2x, weights 2x and do yoga once. I just did my first half marathon. I had the same workout program before surgery. I do it to be healthy not thinner. 9. What role, if any, has counseling or therapy played in your WLS success? Not much. I go to my sessions as part of my surgeons plan. I do love these boards that give me lots of advice and tips. It has helped me be successful. 10. What advice would you offer WLS patients to help them be successful? I don't weigh myself everyday but every few days to make sure I am not gaining. I stay within a 2 lb. range Be mindful of your weaknesses. Mine is sweets. I don't deprive myself but I also make sure to limit what I have or what's in the house. If it's going to be hard for me to resist it then I try to get rid of it. For example: I am fine with the chips ahoy cookies being in the pantry but if I make fresh baked cookies I usually put as many of them as I can in my kids lunches to get rid of them before I eat them all I think one thing that has really helped me is to truly think of this as a life style change vs a diet. I have to because 80% f my stomach is gone. In order for my body to run smoothly I need to eat this way. Remember none of us are perfect and none of us are the same so you need to find what works for you and stick with it. ~LA

I am still feeling ok. I have had some Soup today and a Protein shake. My mouth is REALLY DRY even though I keep sipping Water. I would recommend y'all get some mints or candies to suck on. My dr said gum is not so good the first few days as it can cause air/gas. On the ride home from the hospital I was feeling kind of nauesous (sp?). The hospital had given me some alcohol strips to smell which definitely helped. The dr had given me a prescription for some anti-nausea pills but I left them at home. I wish I had taken 1 with me to the hospital. I took 1 when I came home and haven't felt sick since. In the hospital I started doing the deep breathes to clear my lungs of the anthesia right away. I really think it helps because I didn't feel groggy in the afternoon. It's good to hear everyone is doing well so far. I will keep you posted...

I had my gastric bypass on 4/16 as well. My roughest obstacle has been the muscle stitch and trying to get out of bed or a deep chair. Coughing was agony! But today, 4/21 is much much better. I walked and walked and walked and I think that it helped me progress. I did not take any prescribed pain medication either. I am a recovering alcoholic (3yrs[emoji5]) and in rehab they caution against any addictive substances so I declined. I did take adult liquid Tylenol when I got home Wednesday night and Thursday through the day. Yesterday I walked through the pain and feel so great today I have not had any issues with getting liquids down, it just takes forever[emoji13]. I have had lots of (TMI ALERT) watery dark bowel movements. The Dr. office said to call if they look like tar. They don’t so I’m not worried about it. One last comment, I have experienced a huge change in my energy. I was always so tired every morning before I had surgery, and was expecting to be very tired while recovering. The opposite is true. I find that I have lots of energy! This is good and bad....... we are getting possession of another home we purchased tomorrow and there are sooooo many things that need to be done, and I cannot do any of it. I want to, and feel like I can, but I know I am asking for a surgery if I start lifting or moving. We had our procedures done on the same day and I will look for your posts to see how you are coming along and cheer on your successes. Good luck! My weight day before surgery was 245. I am 5’7. I am not going to weigh myself until Monday. 1 week out. I know I could get crazy watching the scale and a don’t want to get fixated on numbers.

Well. I did not wait long. I resumed drinking about 6 months out I think. And that was a big mistake, at least for me. Alcohol effects me differently now. If I haven’t eaten enough I get DRUNK FAST and I’ll blackout. It’s bad. I had to learn that the hard way. It’s also takes the place of food calories because I struggle to drink and eat together so it becomes a choice between drinking or eating. And I need the food more. And you do too!! Especially early on. I do love wine but even three years out I try and limit my alcohol intake. I’m careful about it. I can see why you want to drink and I wouldn’t think in moderation it’s a problem. But it could possibly slow your weightloss. For me, it did not slow my weightloss but I oddly tend to lose weight when I drink. Most people gain from it. But if you are feeling healthy I don’t see a problem with having a little in moderation here and there, maybe a Glass now and then. I’d say in the first year you can just be very cautious. [emoji4] and don’t let people on here bully you. There is a nice way to give advice and trollish ways. Just remember the people on here, they are all hungry and sober AF.

I say the same thing!! So many skinny people pick and barely eat now I am with em...I think it makes some feel uneasy but I just have to keep it moving and keep my eye on the prize! Not having alcohol has been so hard but I just keep saying it's not forever just for a year! Small sacrifice for a new and improved me!

I had two glasses of Riesling wine this past weekend over the course of about 6 hours. For me, nothing happened and i am only 4 weeks out. No ill effects at all. I was able to enjoy the 30th birthday party of one of my friends and not feel like an outsider. Now, i won't be rushing out to stock up on alcohol...but in my opinion one or two drinks on occasion are not a big deal.

I'm 37 and very proud of it and the name calling came from you first miss thing- if ur on a forum and want advice take it with a grain of salt and not publicly insult people that have tried to help u - and honestly this is such a waste of my time to spend on u - good luck on ur journey bc alcohol shouldn't be ur number one concern but it shows how mature u r and all the comments u left on here - enjoy ur life journey

I agree chicken broth or tea. If you are looking for something more sweet diluted G2. But I have to ask why flaming hot Cheetos? The thought of anything remotely spicy that early out... Reflux, excess stomach acid, fresh wound in the tummy... I would think it would feel like swallowing rubbing alcohol.

Well he was sure worried for a reason . And chicken parm was not on my menu for pre op and i doubt on anyone else's ..just like alcohol was not on my post op !

So I'm enjoying a skinny girl cosmopolitan and I'm already down 20 pounds , so what is the big fuss about alcohol if your body can totally tolerate it ?!?!?!?

Sweetheart I'm not a hater just hate ignorant people that diss people commenting on ur comment we all tried to help and then u laughed at everyone- so give me a break and everyone else - know that U realize how dumb u sounded ur apologizing - please don't feel sorry for me dumb ass I feel sorry for u especially bc ur number one priority was alcohol - I truly blessed so I hope god watches over u especially with ur habit lol

While I don't believe drinking alcohol so soon after surgery is a good idea. I am really appalled at the attitudes of some people on here, I thought this was supposed to be a support forum not a act like children and call people names forum.

Empty calories aside.... I find no reason to not enjoy a drink from time to time but 2 weeks out is a bit too early. Your staple line is healig and alcohol acts as a blood thinner and can cause bleeding which isnt good for our healing stomachs, wait a bit longer ..... I am having a drink right now as I type this, I was about 5 months out before trying it

There are several issues with alcohol, and different docs have differeing concerns about them. The basic initial concern is healing of the stomach, and that's where many docs come down to something around a three month limitation. Empty calories, too is a concern during the weight loss period, but that's no different than talking about Twinkies or any other kind of junk food. The biggie that some docs fret over is liver health - as obese patients, our livers are generally in pretty poor shape to begin with, and then they are further taxed with their role in metabolizing all of the fat that we are losing - they don't need any more stress from metabolizing the alcohol. So, that's where some docs come up with a no alcohol during the entire weight loss period policy - this is my doc's plan, and he's a bit more anal about liver health than most WLS docs as he also does liver transplants, and he doesn't want to see his bariatric patients coming back as transplant patients. The other concern is the prospect of transfer addiction - many of us were addicted to food, and with that taken away by the surgery, that addiction can be transferred to something else that was never a problem pre-op, like alcohol or gambling - so that is something to watch out for. The other thing to watch is that most find that their body's response has changed - usually feeling the alcohol's effects sooner and with less (things tend to go thru quicker, particularly liquids), but then they tend to recover quicker, too. Those are the major issues that influence the differerent surgeons' policies on alcohol and WLS, so take them for what you will. Overall, the occasional drink is not likely to be any more harmful than the occasional twinkie, but there are potential problems with it being a regular thing during the post-op period. Good luck, and may you have something to celebrate! Sent from my iPhone 5 using VST

Can someone explain this a little further? Other than the fact that we don't have as much food as we previously did to soak up the alcohol, how is it different on the body once you are healed? (I might be missing the obvious here....wouldn't be the first time

Actually I could have had it on mine. I was limited to 40g carbs per day so I could easily have had that on a good day. But honestly, if alcohol isn't on your post op, why are you having it? I am asking from the position of someone who suffered horrific complications doing what was required by my surgeon. I can't imagine risking those for a glass of wine....

Just kinda wondering , maybe someone can answer this . Alcohol is a blood thinner , they gave blood thinning medication throughout my stay in the hospital , so I wouldn't get blood clotts. And besides this whole surgery is a risk to begin with !