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Addiction transfer is a very real risk and one that should be kept in mind. As an anecdote, my best friend is able to drink tequila like water with very little intoxication. It's kind of fascinating. Give her one shot of rum and she's nearly three sheets to the wind. Please do be careful, though. As @MsMocie said, bariatric programs almost universally say to limit alcohol consumption to 3-6 months post-op and likely for very good reasons, regardless of type of surgery.

I think where @MsMocie was going is that alcohol can be extremely hard on the mucus membranes of your upper GI tract. This in turn causes erosion, especially in areas of healing suture or staple lines. Erosion can cause ulceration of this healing tissue and lead to GI bleeds. Many GI bleeds can be life threatening and are very common in heavy drinkers. A newly healing suture/staple line mixed with alcohol can speed up this erosive process, so you don’t have to consume much, which is why there is danger in alcohol consumption those first few months. Please correct me if I was off base on where you were going @MsMocie. Hope that helps, Tek. 😊

Yes, I have found that there is a steep learning curve with the band. I am not where I want to be at least 60 lbs down but I am down almost 40 and if I had not been banded God knows where I'd be. I have found the band to be harder than any plan I've ever done but I have no regrets and know that if I had lost it otherwise I would have been back up in my weight. I hate the stalls and the plateaus but at least the scale is going down and I know that would not be the case with anything else. I have learned that I cannot drink any alcohol because it stalls me so in my case having those drinks on the weekend just caused me to have back to back stalls. So for the next 6 months I'm ramping up my exercise by joining the gym and watching my portions and quality of food and I'm sorely in need of a fill which I'll get on 3/9/10. I'm also going to do a 24 hr detox every Monday. I still have hopes of reaching my goal by 8/16/11...my 1 year surgiversary. We will all make our goals.

My BMI was over 48 and I had diabetes, plus heart and blood-pressure problems, so my approval took less than a month in 2002. Since then, however, my medical plan has removed bariatric surgery from it's list of covered surgeries. My daughter-in-law's mother had to gain about 30 pounds to become eligible for her policy's approval. Maybe one day, our disease will be treated like most other diseases. Alcoholism, drug addiction, mental illness and morbid obesity are all treated as step-children in the medical insurance industry.

It looks like the responses are from mostly newly banded or soon-to-be banded folks. Except for Elfiepoo - and Fran - way to go! Not that I discount anyone's opinion but I really wish I could hear from folks who have had it for more than a few years. If the definition of "successful" is to lose excess weight and keep it off for 3 years then I have been successful on my own. I lost 50+ lbs. and kept it off for 3+ years. I weighed between 135-142. Then I got pregnant, then I injured my back and the rollercoaster started again and I gained way more than I lost. I'm just scared to try again because then I might gain even more and I really can't stand the thought of being even fatter than I am now! I hear all of you and it makes sense that the band would help with stomach hunger and not head hunger. That's where the willpower comes in. OK. I get that now. So would this help me is what I have to figure out. When I'm hungry I go for the real foods like meat and vegetables and bread. I eat way too much regular food - I like the feeling of being stuffed. Then after the hunger is sated I start craving the sweets. No, not just sweets, CHOCOLATE! I can look at a piece of apple pie or a sugar cookie and it not do a thing for me, even when I'm hungry. I want real food when I'm hungry. When I'm craving I want chocolate. I can act like a normal person as far as turning down Cookies, candy etc. until the chocolate comes out. Then it's like showing an alcoholic a bottle of whiskey. So do you thing this would help me? I'm trying to be as objective as possible because I don't want to be disappointed by having unrealistic expectations. Thanks for all the info!

I think (?) it's true that I haven't mourned the loss of food. Perhaps it's because because I was sleeved later in life (at 68) I'd eaten about everything there is to eat--some great food. I also understood that being sleeved didn't mean I could never eat good food again. Four months post-op, I am certainly less focused on food than I was pre-op. I'm sure that's due to having so much less ghrelin in my body than pre-op. However, I'm still interested in food to supply nutrients for my body, to supply energy, and (to a lesser extent, for now) food's taste and aesthetics. It's pretty easy to avoid or reject food most of the time that doesn't have high nutritional value (sweets, alcohol, high-carbs). I'm sure this will all continue to evolve and change. But the current phase is a comfy place to hang out.

I can tell you that my morbid obesity comes from many factors. The main one is family atmosphere. My first memory of life was being sexually molested along with my baby brother. My parents were teenagers and not very interested in responsibility. The molestation continued for 11 years. I sought the approval and attention of a 30 year old at 16 and became pregnant the first time. I was always at work to pay for my baby and my mom gave him to my older sister at 17. I became a heavy drinker and married at 18. I was by then a full fledged alcoholic. Three days before my 20th birthday I became sober through AA. I spent my 20's in therapy. It helped me tremendously! I gave birth to my second son at 25 and still continued with therapy until the age of 29. I continued to smoke as a crutch until I reached 36. On 4-01-2000 I quit smoking and by 8-29-2005, the day of banding, I went from 155 or so to 280 lbs. Eating had always been my source of comfort, but I was always able to keep within 20lb.s or so of a normal weight. This was only achieved through starvation, diet pills, coffee and many cigarettes. My mom always offered food as a source of comfort and it became a way of life early on. My dad was not in the picture and my step fatheres were alcoholics. My younger brother and sister are both practicing alcoholics and not interested in quitting. I am the outsider because I chose a different life and because I attend church regularly. They will come to me for help, but only on their terms and I don't hear from them unless they need something. It breaks my heart because they will probably die in their addictions. They and my mom are obese as well. My father died 3 years ago from a massive heart attack. He was 58 years old, obese and a heavy smoker and drinker. I had not seen him in 10 years. Fathering was not of interest to him. My brother still wants his approval-sad huh? Well I guess I have cried a river, thanks for listening-or reading. I love all of you, you are all great! Rose in Texas not a victim anymore! banded 8-29-2005

:thumbup: TOTALLY ! Used to be not overweight in school, never was "skinny", but used to be "healthy" and a competitive swimmer. But since I started working fulltime, eat out more often, alcohol nights and got heartbroken.. :smile2: I lost balance in exercising & eating. When I feel hurt, the more I don't like to look at myself... I eat to find comfort. :thumbup: Until I realize it, I've lost myself. In a span of 5 years, gained from 130ish to 220lbs...

reif78: heck yeah that makes sense. I can't tell you how many times I wished I preferred alcohol or coke instead of food. At least with those things your dysfunction isn't so readily apparent. I'm actually not kidding which tells you a lot about why I'm fat. JSOTO: congratulations! You sound great and like you really have your head on right! It helps people like me read things like that from people like you!

Hmm. Why AM I fat? I am thinking this one over. I think a little bit is genetic. Both of my parents had a weight problem. Emotional eating is the basis of it. One parent was a binge alcoholic and the other was just an alcoholic towards the end of life. Though us kids were provided for financially. The uncertainty of what you were going be greeted with when we got off the bus was a worry for me. Some of my brothers and sister compensated for it by either being "big drinkers" once they left home, or (1) being an overachiver in his business life (I think to prove he is "good" as the other people-BTW-he isn't fat), or being fat (me). Both parents passed away, my daddy was killed in an accident (when he was drunk) by driving into a moving train when I was 12, and my mom died of cancer 4 years later. I went to live with my sister at 16, and she was into her own thing at that time-drinking and partying due to a divorce-and she wanted me to babysit every weekend. I rebelled! I wanted to party too because of dealing with all of the emotional crap of losing my parents so young. I was thinking, "Party on, because you're next in line!" So I moved out and was on my own at a very early age. I should have stayed there and babysat, as it turned out! At that time I was wearing size 12-13. I thought I was HUGE at a size 12. My sister was a size 8, so to compare myself to her, I was huge. Now I don't see it the same way. So I left her home, partied til I was emotionally bankrupted, and finally called an end to the party at the age of 21! I met my husband and we got married. It's been a tough marriage in some ways. He would stay out when we were first married until midnight-1 am, and he had a hard time getting up to go to work. He would leave me without a car, money, diapers, and cigarettes. So we worked thru all that crap (I left him for about a month when I was pregnant with our second child). I guess he really did like having us around. He straightened up about his own partying and getting to work. It is amazing he didn't get fired. BUT, he turned it into passive agressive behavior. HE would not leave the house for anything! It was a big, big happening when he went to family things. I have gone to many family functions without him thru the years. Until I left him again just a few years ago over his personality issues, I guess with age he mellowed..... He will attend some stuff now, but he usually just sits in a chair watching tv or sleeping! so thru the years, I have tried to be both father and mother to my kids, and I guess I got into the "after the kids go to bed because all this junk is not good for them type snacking". And I drink a lot of Coca Cola. NOT diet Coke. So here I am, 27 years later, overweight by 100 pounds. That's my story. YIKES, I need really do need theraphy!!! I am really not sure I want to post this, but I am going to "Post Quick Reply"....here goesss....click!

Allwright - we have something in common being "Wright" :confused: I am here too cking on what my options are and what to expect. So many stories here I think we can all relate to - as no one execpt an overweight person understands our obsession with food. I don't think about it so much as others do - I don't wake up in the morning thinking about what I can eat today - Its just when i start its hard to stop. Just like that drink for an alcoholic - but the problem is we have to eat - it's getting portion control and eating the "wright" things. Like last night, had to p/u grandkids - got on the computer and was on till 9:30 - went to the kitchen to find something to eat (i hadn't eaten dinner or anything since lunch) Drank 2 cups of cran-grape jucie (light) - looked in the fridge and nothing look good or even sounded good, but i was hunger - so ended up eating about a cup of left over rice a roni - and went to bed. couldn't sleep was still hungery got up and made a pbj (plus 3 tablespoons of pb while i was making the sandwich) ate that and slept like a baby - My whole family are night time eaters - I don't think our Mom ever weened us from the bottle ;0) This board and others out there are really good places to get the info on being banded. Good luck on your journey - you will find your answers - Janet

I can remember having a second helping of chili with beans and rice, when I was seven, I think, and my mother saying, “Your friends are probably already in bed.” <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> She died when I was nine, and I bought my first box of cookies soon after that, for twenty-five cents. And that’s when my love affair with cookies began. But I was a think child, even though I’d buy bags of cookies whenever I could, which wasn’t often, because I didn’t get an allowance. My father was an alcoholic, and I stuffed myself when I could, because it felt good. <o:p></o:p> I moved in with one of my older sisters during my senior year in high school, and had three meals a day, something I didn’t always have at my father’s. But my weight began creeping up when I was in my twenties. I remember weighing 209 pounds, and going to a Gloria Marshall figure salon. I lost thirty pounds, maybe thirty-five, because I was 174, and my sister commented on how little I looked. That was the last time I saw the one hundreds. The next time I became conscious of my weight was when it was 290, and I joined Overeaters Anonymous. I went down to 232 and back up to 286, and had a hysterectomy, when I went down to 263. I know there are other times I yo-yoed, but this is the basic pattern. <o:p></o:p> About four years ago, I began working with a personal trainer, but I’m not sure how much weight I’ve lost, because I never allowed myself to be weighed until I began considering getting the lap band. <o:p></o:p> I know a lot of my eating is because of my family life, where I experienced a lot of physical and emotional neglect. My brother called me Fatso, even though I wasn’t big, but like so many, I believed him. One of my sisters called me Brahma, and I always thought it was because she thought I was fat, too, but she told me recently it was because of the way I walked so fast <o:p></o:p> The last time I went to my doctor’s office, I didn’t ask how much I weigh, but it’s got to be over 331. Guess I just didn’t want to know. <o:p></o:p> Oh, did I mention that, like so many others, I too snuck food, even when I went to Gloria Marshall, which I did twice, when I was in OA, I ate sugar free stuff, but still had large portions? Denying myself the sweets only caused me to sneak on weekends or hide food in my closet.

Why am I fat? Because I have a love/hate relationship with food. I hate to love it and love to hate it. I love all food, healthy food, unhealthy food, bad food, good food, low-fat food, high-fat food. I love it all and deep down I have this fear that if I don't eat it all NOW, it won't be there when I come back and want/need some more. I could eat tiny portions (before being banded) to the point where people wondered why I was eating so little and what was 'wrong' with me, to portions so huge I absolutely ache and feel physically ill from eating so much. If it was possible to just take a pill and never have to eat again, I'd do it. After all, alcoholics aren't forced to have a drink 3x a day to stay alive! Addiction, compulsion, whatever you want to call it, I've got it. I'm hoping the band (and my next <2nd> fill) will help me find my "sweet spot". Every day is a challenge and a struggle which I will have for the rest of my life.

Great topic on this thread. I hadn't really processed it, but I too feel guilty if I think I'm eating too much when clearly it is such a small portion compared to my pre-op days. I get full, like I'm supposed to, but even that is a whole new experience because before full happened only after at ate half the refrigerator ( ok a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm sure y'all understand my drift) . I have yet to experience 'physical' hunger. I eat pretty much because I know i have to get the Protein in. If it wasn't for that, I'm sure I'd just graze along with a bite here and there cuz my head does say...have some if that. As for the comments on the nutritionist, that is clearly someone who has no idea who compulsive eaters are and what food/sugar/carb addiction is all about. I highly doubt she'd tell an alcoholic to have beer when their drink of choice is vodka. I know a lot of my trigger foods, and I have to be careful with some fruit cuz it triggers too. I have a whole list of " bet you can't eat just one" because I can't - sleeve or no sleeve. I have got to keep it clean, lean and mean. I've tried moderation, and that doesn't work for me. I did a lot of work with a therapist before my surgery. I was reading a study today that commented how we choose our words.... If we say we can't eat something, there is a greater chance that we will eat it. Whereas if we say I don't eat something, there is a greater chance we won't. This was a study done with a bunch of college students and the outcomes were surprising. But it makes sense. The feelings of " I can't " leave me feeling in this place of self punishment. I can't go out, I can't eat pizza, I can't drive a car.... But to say "I don't" has a different visceral response. Ok now I think of the snooty girl who looks down her nose, that sense of entitlement. I don't wear polyester, I don't eat sugar, I don't drink tap Water, I don't eat Cookies. One is like a "poor me" syndrome, while the other is a sense of self care and personal entitlement. Granted the snooty girl can be a B$$ch, but if done honestly it sets a personal boundary that someone else just can't get thru. Ya, the first dietician would tell us we could eat popcorn in week 2.... Oh, my belly hurts thinking of eating it now. She was an idiot. I have a much better on now who get it. Ultimately we have to know ourselves and be honest with ourselves. Tallyho

Among the huge list of foods I hope taste nasty after surgery, chocolate is close to the top. I also hope cheese, mashed potatoes, wine, any kind of alcohol, sour cream, cream cheese, ice cream, soda, chips, Oreos and snack cakes find themselves on my "Foods You Couldn't Pay Me To Eat" list.

Bariatric patients should embrace both of these powerful tools to enjoy long term post surgery success, with food and lifestyle choices, that are faced with well into the future. The Importance of Behavior Modification and the Role of Personal Accountability As a bariatric patient care professional, I encourage the following mindset with patients from all surgery time frames and life situations: Lifelong commitment to pursuing a healthier lifestyle, Compliance to the recommendations of behavior modification, and Addressing and grappling with the challenges that are life long Self-awareness and personal accountability are two areas that are not so obvious when assessing one’s own role in the struggle with obesity. We are aware of genetics, family history, medical co-morbid conditions and life stress that impact each patient’s history of their own struggle with being obese. So how do patients obtain the necessary tools to support the physical presence of bariatric surgery? Through engaging in a solution to the past disappointments of weight loss efforts that are already so familiar. Many patients report the path to insight and reflection often reveals mental justifications, old bargaining behaviors and frustrations that fuel negativity and inappropriate attachments to and uses of food. Although it is easy to lay blame for many things in life, self-deception only facilitates the repetitive cycle of anger and disappointment. In the professional arena, we often discuss the addictive quality of food and how food has a parallel function in the same manner that other behaviors do, i.e. shopping, drugs and alcohol, sex, gambling and the like. The need for emotional escape and mental distance can encourage us to use food as “anesthesia”, a way of shutting down and shutting out the world around us. We are careful to watch for those cross-addictive behaviors following bariatric surgery and recommend supportive resources across the board. These services provide a safe and secure way to investigate and discuss personal issues that are relevant and central to the patient’s path to success following surgery. The role of a supportive aftercare program or community of patients, even individual therapy, is a vital component to future success and and be a valuable tool on the road to recovery, helping to smooth the transition and adaptation to new food related behaviors and lifestyle choices. The ability for patient’s to share a parallel experience and be able to “relate” to a certain stage of recovery, or a certain type of struggle with others, will provide an opportunity for engagement and bonding with others. On a therapeutic level, individual counseling can expand one’s degree of awareness and promote a greater sense of personal accountability, once the roots of old behaviors and attitudes have been identified and deciphered. A patient can then restructure their responses to daily challenges that may have been inadequate prior to surgery. As patients walk the road of recovery from obesity, while engaging in physical as well as emotional healing, the element of discovery and pride is tangible and even contagious. Patients will enjoy improved health, greater energy and a strong positive attitude of self worth; what follows can be a heightened sense of calm, balance and overall peace of mind. Once personal discoveries have been made, individually or in a group setting, bariatric patients can feel a greater sense of control in planning the path in front of them. Commitment and compliance are two key elements that promote post surgery success. As patients employ newfound tools and wisdom on a consistent basis, quality of life can be infinitely better as well as profoundly rewarding.

Congratulations on getting started!!! I have lost 28.5 since my surgery on May 21. I was prepared I would lose slower since my bmi was 35 day of surgery.. I remember the closer I am to goal the slower it comes off.. I'm happy with the 28.5 praying it keeps going down lol Really still loving the bypass! So far the only issue I have had is with hard alcohol I tried some vodka and yeah my tummy revolted lol Can hardly wait to hear about your surgery date!

Yes - the pre- op diet is a challenge. Just keep your eye on the prize and tick off each day that you get through. The first 3-4 days are difficult but after that you will get into the 'zone' . When ketosis starts, I bought a non alcohol mouth wash from the chemist - they say they work better than Listerine. Your mouth will feel like the bottom of a bird cage - with the feathers - so your breath might not be great! You might want to warn people about that as it can be a bit embarrassing - everyone is different so see how you go. Good luck - this is a short term pain for a long term.. weight loss! The best thing I ever did!

I don't like the taste of alcohol, but I love me a good amaretto sour - Disaronno, of course. I PBed today. Happy anniversary to me. But when I weighed this morning I was down another 4 lbs which makes a year total of just under 130lbs. And I'd drink to that!

My dh can eat a ton and stay thin and athletic while I can eat a small amount and get heavy. Metabolism is so vastly different in some people. I have a lot of heavy and thin friends and I don't really think of them in terms of weight so much as that is just who they are . . . kind of like some people have big noses and some have small noses. I do find myself having a bias when people blatantly disregard reason and do self destructive things. Whether it is overindulging in alcohol, food, drugs on a regular basis I seem to get upset. I am not talking about an occasional issue but a sustained issue over extended periods.

I felt such a sense of relief after reading people's posts for this thread. I have experienced all of these emotions when I see obese people... empathy, sympathy, anger, disgust, relief, shame, etc. When I see someone who is morbidly obese, I want to just give them a hug and hand them one of my surgeon's business cards and tell the person how the LB has changed my life (empathy/sympathy). I also have felt anger/disgust when I have been out to eat and I see a morbidly obese person pound down a gigantic appetizer, an equally huge meal, and then order a monsterous dessert. I want to lecture them about how they are using food to kill themselves and that pigging out will not solve their problems. I then feel ashamed of myself for my self-righteous attitude towards someone's choice of lifestyle. I am more than willing to share my experience with anyone who has questions about the LB. I just need to remember that just like a drug or alcohol addiction, a person doesn't want help until he or she is ready to accept it.

That is so important to hear. At another site where I post I was told that it is people like me who never served, who don't understand. I have posted this many times before, so you can look it up. When I was 19, in 1964, I was gung-ho military and tried to enlist in the US Air Force. I failed my physical because of injuries suffered while playing freshman football in college. The last step of the pre-induction physical was a 26 page questionnaire and the last question was "Are you the sole surviving son of a man killed in the service of the US Military". My father was a US Army Sargent killed in Berlin in WW11 on the day after I was born in 1945, so I answered “yes”. I was told that I failed the physical that day and about 3 weeks later a new draft classification card came in the mail with a classification of “4A”. I was ready to serve, though knowing what I know now, I am glad my knee kept me out of that war; Another war in which we dismissed the French. We laughed at the French for leaving Vietnam and we kept laughing at the French until 65,000 of our youth were dead, many times that many more maimed and many times that number who had miserable lives because of much higher rates of alcohol abuse, drug abuse, crime, spousal abuse and suicide than that of the people who did not serve in Vietnam. And for what? We lost. The dominoes never came down. We were fed a line of crap, just like in 2002 leading up to the 2003 Illogical Illegal Iraqi Invasion. When will we learn? Aren't you glad you asked? I contributed my father. Can you top that?

Beer actually seems to sit more comfortably for me than soda does. But I still prefer not to drink it because I get all burpy -- which is not hot at a college party! I would try some wine at home and take it slow. I used to be able to throw back 6 beers, 4 shots and then some to get drunk. Now it is 1 shot of alcohol and I am stumbling drunk, this lasts for 10 minutes or so and then I am completely sober. So now I sip mixed drinks -- sugar free of course! This is just like sweets -- some people choose to completely stop drinking and others don't. It is a personal preference and I would do what I wanted to. Everyone has a different answer.

Green I know I'm always popping in (and off) with advice and that must be pretty boring. But I have to concur with Gail regarding the pillows. If you prop yourself to a practically sitting position, it can work, but usually you wind up sliding down on one side or other and not truly having the head above the feet that you need. You need to be at a true slant, although it doesn't have to be so deep a slant that during your sleep you wind up falling off the foot of your bed. With acid reflux, the very best solution - and one that can change your life, big time - is to do what Gail suggested and raise the head of your bed. It is really the only long term answer, except of course for some drugs. I had to do the drugs and they didn't do as much for me as raising the head of our bed. Anyone who tells you that you can do it with pillows doesn't know what they're talking about. This from a woman who spent many a night sleeping sitting up in a recliner until the reflux calmed down. I don't blame you if you brush off the suggestion because I talk so much, but you can definitely trust me on this one. It's very important that you do it and get some relief. Btw, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that smoking really contributes to acid reflux. I see that your doc has told you about alcohol. What about chocolate? Yup that can too. The good news is that once you get it healed up nicely and learn what makes it worse, it isn't too difficult to take care of at all. Did your doc give you Prevacid or Prilosec? Very happy about your NSV with the restaurant prissy pot owner! Do the natives of Toronto treat fat people with as much disdain as the natives do in Montreal?

I gained 100lbs in recovery for an bulimia so I mean this just isn’t true.  You speak about weight gain, and consumption as a compulsion and love affair as if they are inherently the same things and they just aren’t. No one calls alcoholism a love affair with booze, nor is a love affair with food is not inherently the same thing as binge eating disorder or the compulsive eating, addictive behaviors you describe. That’s not love that’s disordered eating and to many people who experience it it feels more like a prison than a romance. Further there are plenty of reasons people gain weight or struggle to lose not limited to medical issues or life long yo-yo dieting socialized in people since childhood resulting in an insurmountably low bmr. It also ignores the idea of a body’s set weight which numerous medical studies have pointed to as a valid hypothesis and part of why wls is one of the only weight loss tools with long term sustainable success. Let’s try to be sensitive that everyone’s story and struggle respect their own personal reflections of it.