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Hi Everyone - Indigo - thanks for the support. I think I am depressed, I just want to shake myself out of it. I have a number of systems to work through it along with medication, but know that what will make me feel really good is to stay with a good eating program for just today, then tomorrow, etc. It is like alcoholism, but you still have to eat. I liked the idea of no overt white sugar in the diet. I think that would help me reduce the "eat now or die urges." Well, I commit to a no sugar day, and I'll report tomorrow. Have a great Monday! Good bye mashed potatoes and gravy. Hugs, Michelle

It sounds like she truly believed the surgery would "solve all her problems". The results of immaturity, abuse, trauma, addiction, and mental illness is not going be "solved" by anything let alone weight loss surgery. Without surgery she would have certainly continued to abuse food and still may have turned to alcohol, drugs, and sex anyway. Blaming the surgery for her issues doesn't sound very healthy to me. What would her life been like without it? You can't compare apples to oranges. If she was unwilling to seek counseling before bariatric surgery should she have been denied? I don't know. A lot of folks of all ages go into this process blindly. Some actually learn and grow through the process. Some do not. Some people have the capacity for personal growth. Some do not. If she was a poor candidate for WLS she still might have been able to learn from the experience. If she had been a great candidate for surgery, she still might have wound up where she is today. I just don't think there is necessarily cause and effect at work here. This is much more complex than she or the article seem to acknowledge. Yes, I think there needs to be many more mental health resources both pre- and post-op for anyone who is obese. There certainly are not enough affordable mental health resources in the US period.

I'm stuck between 192-195. I need to buckle down and exercise. Plus, cut out alcohol on the weekends!

What's the name of that spray? I got my first fill today and almost passed out. I was expecting this topical solution, felt the alcohol swab, thought, humm that must be the topical stuff, NOT. Then he says, ok this will feel like a bee sting, just what I wanted to hear, then I get attacked by killer bees, and this burning starts. I asked how many bees, then that passed and I started getting this nasty taste in my mouth which made me sick to my stomach, then I started getting hot and clammy. Then they started fanning me, I felt like such a wuss. Then he did the fill. After I got my color back, I sat up and sipped some Water, then I was ok. BUT, I do want the name of that spray. The doctor said there was something you rub on, but it took 1/2 hr for it to take effect and it didn't work all that well. Needless to say, I will be telling him about this spray stuff. FYI, he started me with .75. I have had liquids tonight, but feel absolutely no difference than yesterday or before the fill. I expected to be super tight.

Green I know I'm always popping in (and off) with advice and that must be pretty boring. But I have to concur with Gail regarding the pillows. If you prop yourself to a practically sitting position, it can work, but usually you wind up sliding down on one side or other and not truly having the head above the feet that you need. You need to be at a true slant, although it doesn't have to be so deep a slant that during your sleep you wind up falling off the foot of your bed. With acid reflux, the very best solution - and one that can change your life, big time - is to do what Gail suggested and raise the head of your bed. It is really the only long term answer, except of course for some drugs. I had to do the drugs and they didn't do as much for me as raising the head of our bed. Anyone who tells you that you can do it with pillows doesn't know what they're talking about. This from a woman who spent many a night sleeping sitting up in a recliner until the reflux calmed down. I don't blame you if you brush off the suggestion because I talk so much, but you can definitely trust me on this one. It's very important that you do it and get some relief. Btw, I'm sure I don't have to tell you that smoking really contributes to acid reflux. I see that your doc has told you about alcohol. What about chocolate? Yup that can too. The good news is that once you get it healed up nicely and learn what makes it worse, it isn't too difficult to take care of at all. Did your doc give you Prevacid or Prilosec? Very happy about your NSV with the restaurant prissy pot owner! Do the natives of Toronto treat fat people with as much disdain as the natives do in Montreal?

So, I feel funny writing about this, but...has anyone else ever experienced a negative change in their social life post-op? I had my surgery back in January. Although my physical health has made drastic improvements, I'm afraid my mental health has taken a toll. I noticed people have been treating me very differently since having the surgery. I've been getting so many rude comments, I can't keep up. They think I "took the easy way out (not realizing it was actually quite the opposite: the last resort)," and/or are freaked out by all my new eating habits and restrictions or are saying cruel things like "oh, you'll just gain it back like so-and-so did anyway, you watch." A lot of them have also proceeded to claim my changed appearance "weirds them out." Some of my now ex-friends have even gone so far to complain that I "betrayed the body positivity movement by giving into society's expectations of what women should look like." What the actual heck? Even dating, something I thought would get better as I lost weight, is just as bad as it was before. Since I can't drink alcohol anymore or eat a lot of foods, guys have been pretty hostile. Although I've been private about my surgery while dating (simply stating I have a strict diet I need to follow), that hasn't stopped guys from being mean or rude. Bottom line here is I've lost a lot of friends this past year and my love life is no better than it was. I'm extremely lonely and depressed. Has anyone else ever encountered this? What can I do to change it? Why is there so much social stigma towards this surgery?

Hello single bandsters, I have given advice to people on this tread and I know I have answered this question for others but now it is my turn! I need some of the same advice. I am going on a first date this weekend which is also the first date since surgery. He has left it up to me what we should do and would like to get to know him better before I tell him about my surgery. With that said, I am going on week 7 and do not want to mess up my diet with food or alcohol. Any suggestions for having a first date without spilling the beans and without ruining my diet??? Thanks

Hi, I just want to say thank you to countrygirl, you gave me some perspective. I don't post reply very often, but when I get the chance it's usually just to re-state how frustrated and upset I am with myself and the band. I really thought I was going to lose more weight I have lost 26 lbs since Dec. 18, 2006 (half that from pre op diet) !'ve had about 5 fills, 2 of them very aggressive. I'm 20, never got a chance to be a thin teen and I desperately want to feel confident before I get into my 30's and have kids. It's on my mind everyday. I have such a hard time being away at college. If The band did its part and let me eat less, then I would work with it and eat small amounts. I go to the gym frequently and take hikes with friends. I drink alcohol twice a week, beer mainly. I eat 100 times better than any 20 year old girl I know and am still double their size because of my metabolism. It's upsetting, I jsut cannot fail at this.. I'm too afraid of living my life as a fat person, 20 years is long enough.. I need to see a light at the end of this tunnel.. is there anyone who has had a similar story? Does it just kick in one day?

Volly, Alcohol is fattening! Did you know there are like 600 calories in a long island ice tea? You can do what you want, but if you're going to drink, don't mix it with any kind of sweet fruit juice. Beer is really fattening. Go online and read the calorie content of these types of things so you can plan it in your day. For breakfast I almost always have a protein bar or a protein shake. I am having trouble getting enough protein because I am just not hungry anymore. Late night snacks for me are sugar free fudgcicles or sugar free popcicles. I hope some other people in here give you some better ideas. There was a thread in here asking the ages of everyone, and it seems like there were quite a few young people posting.

This is exactly why the lifetime commitment to changinging behaviors is so important for success. Patients need to be better informed about the long term realities of any WLS. Our lifestyle changes and eating habits are far more important than the physical changes of the surgery. Without the mental commitment the surgery itself is pointless. No one regains by staying on plan, excercising and making healthy food choices. I know if I regain any weight it is entirely my fault and a result of my behavior, not a "failed" sleeve. The OP is living proof of how this works. Once "back on track" again, she is losing weight, stretched sleeve and all. Congrats, BTW! Having WLS and grazing, overeating, or basically just consuming too many calories, is like a heart bypass patient continuing to eat poorly, smoke cigarettes and not excercise. Or a liver transplant recipient becoming an alcoholic. Their surgeries saved their lives but they are back killing themselves with their behaviors.

Today is Surgery Day for me. I have to be there at 2 pm for surgery at 4 pm. I miss my coffee and water. I am 100% packed and ready to go after I get dressed. I'm such a procrastinator. Here is the list of what I took for those who are having surgery later on: (I use x's to check off my list hahaha) sleep earphones x Cpap hose and mask x baby wipes x toothbrush and toothpaste x deoterant x shampoo and body soap x brush/comb x hair ties for hot flashes x alcohol pads for nausea x lotion x pads for underwear x PJ's x underwear x robe x slippers x pillow x biotene dry mouth spray x lip balm x gas x gaviscon x crystal light and mio x

So pi**ed off! My restriction that I had since late in November has decided to leave me once again and I can eat absoluately anything! This for me means that I can't get enough white bread in to me - worse than an alcoholic. I've 4 pounds on over the weekend, which basically translates as 2 full pan of Brennans white bread - no sandwitch filling or butter required!! Why did I even bring the bread in to the house. It couldn't come at a worse time as I am trying so hard to fit in to a way too small wedding dress that I need to wear in only a few weeks. Have an appointment with Lou on Saturday next and just need to work hard at not undoing all my good work between now and then until I get a fill! Elsie - well done on making the appointments and investigating both options. As you pointed out you saw how happy and healthy the girls were who you met last Saturday and what a diference we had made in prolonging our own lives!! Keep us informed how you get on. Kermit - keep on this site and post what you are struggling with so the rest of us can help you.

Sweety I sympathize w u bc we know that food nd stress, unfortunately go together for those of us w a food addiction. It is no different for an alcoholic whose been wo it for many yrs, nd then life hits them in the butt nd they turn to their old comforts. One thing they both have in common, a support group. Ik u said that its not possible but pat urself on the shoulder bc u r asking for help when u cuda stayed in ur misery. With all of that said, and Idk how u feel about this but I'm going to suggest you gt a private room and speak out ur issues to God, He knows yes, but speak it and ask Him for strength nd mercy, be humble but bold in what you need from Him. I am a true believer nd ik that if u were not going to be successful, He wud not have allowed u to get this far. Next, do as the OP said, start small. Start w the water issue, only. Try it for a week, pray for strength! I'll pray too for you:) next, stop eating one of the trigger snacks nd add a protein drink in its place, pray nd I will too. Then try the next thing to stop, just one thing at a time. But believe in what ur doing nd y. As you r doing these few things, pack ur boxes to distract u, pray that God will give u ur New home, if it be His will, I will pray too. Pm me if u want to pray together:) id be honored. As for ur job, again, instead of totally stressing, give it to God, nd believe He will deliver to u, a job w ur name on it! Again, if u don't believe that u can do it alone, ADD God and know, He wants to help u. Also know that there are many here who want to help but u gotta start by helping urself nd uve started tryn bc u posted here. Proud of u. As UK, u ended up in the hospital alrdy, nd u don't wanna keep doing that bc of the infections u cud get there, the bills to worry over, u get what I'm sayn. I just want u to STOP, look at where u were preop nd now postop. Stop, take a breath, nd just take one day nd problem at a time, don't add to what u feel is the end of the world bc its not. Just be still. Sorry for long post but not for trying to help u. I truly hope that som1 says somthn to help u:)) u r awesome, brave, strong, beautiful nd human...dont keep beating urself up! It won't be worth it AT ALL. MAY GOD cont to Bless u. {{{{Hugs}}}}. Dee

Well, I have been trying to get this surgery approved through my insurance since February... and have actually been considering it for a couple of years now. The good news is on July 17, 2008 I received an approval letter from my insurance company. The horrible news is it may never happen for me. In June I was informed by my human resources dept. that I didn't work enough hours in the previous 3 month period to qualify for benefits. I took a lot of vacation days and downtime due to my health but didn't have the doctor's visits or notes to back it up. I am 330 lbs now, diabetic with NASH (non-alcoholic steato-hepatitis - a liver issue due to diabetes and weight). I also suffer from horrific migraines. So... I signed up for the COBRA insurance... I got the bill in the mail for my insurance shorthly after I got my approval for surgery... $1800... due by August 25th... !!! That is premiums for 2 months at $500 each and $800 due on my flexible spending account that I had already used for medications and medical bills. Well, that might as well be $1,000,000. =( I am seriously working 30 hours of overtime this week and get paid bi-weekly. I tried to get a loan through my bank, but with my 2 car loans I am maxed out. I am crushed. I don't know what to do. I will be eligible for insurance through work again in October or November. However, I spoke to my insurance and asked them if I were to be cancelled what would happen... they weren't sure if the new policy would consider my request for surgery as something of a pre-existing condition or not. They advised I just pay the $1800. Is there an insurance person that could honestly tell me what to do here? Or a millionaire somewhere that has $1800 in change laying around? I have worked so hard to get this surgery approved. My insurance is Blue Cross/Blue Shield of California. I work for Marriott Hotels. I also have to come up with $1000 for a downpayment for surgery, however, the approval letter I have from the ins company says it is good until January 1, 2009.... so I am certain I can come up with that in time. Any words of wisdom? :biggrin: Carleen

LOL! You guys are too funny! I totally agree I would be pissed if my hubby had brought wings into the house also! My honey keeps his "treats" in his man cave away from my eyes....even before I was banded when I was doing weight watchers I ask him to keep his oreos and what not in his man cave! I don't think that's cruel...it's being supportive. If he was an alcoholic and trying to get clean I wouldn't leave bottles of wine in the fridge or drink it right in front of him...I would want to be supportive in any way I could be! So why wouldn't it be the same for us when we are trying to loose weight and get healthy. I don't keep any kind of junk food in my house...I'm sure my 9 year old would love to have chips and ice cream and what not at her disposal but does she really need all that? The way I look at it is she's not deprived I'm trying to teach her how to eat healthy so that she doesn't end up morbidly obese like her mom! I wouldn't wish that on her and she has my genes so why not try to keep her as healthy as possible. That's not to say she doesn't have junk food at times...she had plenty of candy for valentines day that she ate....but as far as what's in the kitchen and in the cupboards it's all healthy! And her and my honey eat the same meals as I do for the most part! I just got off liquids and I know it's torcher....we did eat soups as a family then too...it didn't kill em and they ate a good dinner! For the OP I'm glad your hubby was understanding after you explained it to him!

OKay one day into my liquid diet. I did it. I hate it, but I did it. I had the worst day at work today and now I understand just how much food comforts me. I cried and cried and cried the whole way home because I knew all I could eat was my garden tomato optifast soup. I am doing better now but wow was that hard. I got my optifast from my doctor. I am not allowed the bars only liquid and I can have 1 sugar free jello per day if I want it. I was given the chicken soup, tomato soup, vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry shakes. They are not bad tasting but they certainly taste like diet food. I have to eat 5 per day so I am just having one of each daily to change it up. Also if you are allowed to have diet soda try mixing the vanilla with diet root beer or diet orange soda. It made a pretty tasty drink today once the foam settled down. It would probably be better to use flat soda. I also walked for 30 minutes today on my break. I found a coworker to keep my company and hold me accountable daily so we are going to walk every day. I just can't wait until it is warmer outside so we can walk around the hospital and not through it. Let's see, oh my weekend was fun. I got to hang out with my girlfriends and do a few things that will be off limits after surgery. (Mostly involving alcohol lol) and I had my last "last dinner". Yeah who puts on 10 pounds in a month from overeating...yup me. I was definitly getting out of control. Well hope everyone is having a good day TTYL.

My gas pains disappeared Day 4- thankfully as I can't buy gas x where I live. I hope yours goes soon Amy. Heat pads and walking helped too and I'm sure managing to sleep on my left side helped. I know if you need to get rid of wind, if you lay on your left side it will come up, so maybe this helped me too??? I live overseas (Middle East) and things are often done differently here. So, I would love to hear what your Dr's are saying about your diet. I'm on a liquid diet for 2 weeks which includes homemade Soups with lots of Protein, diet yoghurt and fresh juices. Week 3 I'm allowed the soups to become a little thicker and introduce more pureed food and then week 4 he said I should be able to eat normally again! Which will be one day short of Christmas day!! What are your Dr's telling you? And- Is anyone allowed a glass of wine (alcohol) on Christmas Day? I haven't asked as this is a muslim country and my Dr is also Muslim. I don't want to offend anyone or let them think I'm an alcho lol I was thinking that 1 glass might be OK but not sure. What are your opinions on this?? I will be nearly 3 weeks banded by that stage. Thanks!

I'm an alcoholic...Sober over 20 years. When I'm out with a group of people I always get asked, "why aren't you drinking?" It's much easier to say "I just don't like it but thank you anyway" rather than explain I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm very new to this weight loss journey, not even sure I will qualify, but if I do get surgery I plan on using the same logic I do with my sobriety. Basically it's nobody's business but if I feel someone will benefit from my story and they will keep things confidential, I will share it.

I like your phrase, "food anesthesia". I'm going to borrow that. Because, that is what it is for me when I abuse food. It is the same as alcohol. As a long term member of a 12 step program, I learned early on that alcohol wasn't my problem, it was my solution. I was the problem ... how I lived life on life's terms. If I didn't want to feel the emotions of the day, I could anesthetize myself with alcohol. That worked for a long time ... until it didn't. The same came true for my relationship with food. It comforted me when I was down, was there for me when I celebrated. It was an option for me when alcohol wasn't. And just like alcohol, food worked for me for a long time ... until it didn't. WLS has been the tool to help me not abuse food the way I used to. But there is still the deeper problem. Me and my ability to live life on life's terms. I still have the same roller coaster life. I still struggle with doing the next right thing. But I don't have my old coping mechanisms, and that is hard, sometimes. My solution has been to re-commit myself to my 12 step program as for me, I have learned a lot of life skills there. I have never been to an OA meeting, or seen a counselor as it relates to my relationship with food, but I would suggest to anyone who doesn't already attend some form of the many forms of 12 step meetings, to seek out one of these options. For me, it has been critical to help me find the serenity I need in my and my family's lives.

@@Mary Jo Rapini very well said! As a food addict myself I actually now fear family functions because I know that everyone works hard to provide the delicious foods served and even home made from scratch sugary delicacies. I am 41 days sugar free (yes I count them like an alcoholic does, it works for me) but I will have something tomorrow which is when the family is doing the get-together. But I have already planned ahead and told my husband that all I'm allowed to have is anything I want but only about 1" x 1" which equates to probably 3 or so bites. NO MORE! I will also make sure my meal consists of very high Protein so the sugar won't spike in my blood causing the addictive chain reaction. I love this article, I completely understand.

I'm eating a lot of fish, eggs, diced chicken and protein bars. I Have just gone into week 4. I think the dumping was because I ate something too fast and it came back up. And another time I ate an oaty choclate buiscuits. I ate it then ran to the toilet and lost it immediately. Still eating 6 smallish meals a day and looking forward to eating normally 3 times a day. Have you drank any alcohol? I had a very small glass of wine and was ok.

This thread got me interested in further research on the subject, I found this article and the references fascinating... http://drinks.seriouseats.com/2013/10/cocktail-science-do-alcohol-calories-count-digesting-spirits.html And add to it the problems of figuring out your caloric set point that HBO highlighted in their documentary on the weight of the nation special...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i_cmltmQ6A It is made even more complicated by the changes in hormone levels due to surgery and weight loss changes our body and makes us more efficient metabolic machines. http://www.hindawi.com/journals/grp/2013/528450/ This all points to one important thing, we don't know everything. So to the point of this thread, don't go nuts trying to figure out each calorie, but, it is a guide to help you lose and a good tool to aid you. But we are very complex critters. So eat well, just less of it and hang on as we keep learning new things. And keep listening to the many successful people on this site and their advise, I do.

I just want to say that I respect your religious beliefs, BUT I think you are doing yourself, your kids and your future grand kids a huge disservice. In my own family I am seeing the results of abuse, on into the fourths generation. My grandpa beat and verbally abused his wife. All of his children have lingering problems because of it, from abusive marriages to drug and alcohol addictions. His grandchildren, including me, suffered as children from abusive and neglectful parenting. The great grandchildren, so far, are a mixed.bag. Mine are the oldest and I really tried to break the pattern of abuse, but many of my cousins are addicts and/or in abusive relationships. The Bible says that what a man does will be returned to him even unto the fourth generation. That's certainly true in my family. If you break the cycle of abuse now, perhaps your family won't endure what my family has endured. Lissa

Hello everyone. I'm a band to sleeve revision scheduled for May 16th! Getting here has been a long and often miserable road. I am so excited to be beginning this new journey. I really messed up by not being prepared when I had my band put in and that is not going to happen again. So, I spent some time today compiling of list of things to get in the next month. It's suited to my tast so there is no pudding and only vanilla flavors (no chocolate or strawberry). Also, everything is pre-packaged (making it more expensive) because I have two kids who keep me extremely busy and a husband who works all the time. I quit drinking carbonated beverages and caffeine a couple of months ago and gave up alcohol (almost completely ) in January. I never though I would be able to do that (of course I am really fightin replacing with eating)! Anyway, just in case this may help someone here it is: For Day of Surgery Ear plugs Eye mask Chapstick Warm blanket Ear buds for TV Gas X (couple of different forms) Slippers or Socks Belly Binder Nightgown Belly bear or pillow Phone charger Milk of Magnesia For Weeks 1 and 2 May 16th – May 31st 21 Carnation Instant Breakfast Vanilla (Pre-made) 28 Fat free or low fat cream Soups (strained before eating)(see list at end) 28 No sugar added Greek Yogurts 3 Cartons chicken broth 3 Cartons beef broth 1 Carton skim milk 14 Jello snack cups 6 Cans crushed pineapples in Water or light syrup (for smoothies) 7 Bananas (for smoothies) 1 Carton OJ (for smoothies) 6 Mangos for smoothies For Weeks 3 and 4 June 1st – June 14th 1 Large box of quick Quaker Oats 14 Fat free cream soups (see list at end) 21 No sugar added Greek Yogurts 14 HMR or Healthy Choice etc. frozen dinners (to put in blender) 1 Spinach (to put in blender w/ frozen meals) 1 Broccoli to put in blender (to put in blender w/ frozen meals) 1 Box of instant mashed potatoes 14 Prepackaged snack cups of unsweetened apple sauce 4 Cans of chicken for chicken salad 1 Jar of Hellman’s low fat mayo Vitamins and supplements Mulit-Vitamin – Bariatric Advantage Convenient Daily Packs (30 day supply) Biotin – Nature’s Bounty 5,000 iu Protein – unjury unflavored, Unjury strawberry sorbet, and Unjury chicken Soup Vitamin D – highest dosage (I'm African -American (so my Vit D is always low) but with enough other stuff mixed in that my mom has osteporosis. Go Figure!) I also already have every heartburn medicine (both OTC and prescription) at home but if you do not probably good to have it on hand. Tylenol - liquid or chewables if I can find them. I get migraines so I am sure one will hit me. Cream soups may include from Campbell’s Brand – FF Cream of Celery, FF Cream of Chicken, FF Cream of Mushroom, FF Broccoli cheese, Healthy Request Cheddar Cheese Soup, Cream of Potato Soup (sparingly)

LOL, yeah me too (laxative). I still adore some of the SF chocolates with Sugar Alcohols...they're still lower in calories than real chocolate even when counting all the carbs, but if I eat more than one or two in a day......instant colon cleanse.