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I am sorry to hear that you have lost friends due to weight gain but now you can gain a lot of friends here :thumbup: I have tried to talk to her about her having it done but she says she doesnt want surgery maybe after I have it done she will realize that it could work for her too.

thanks I have an appt tomorrow morning. I just hope it doesn't come with a huge weight gain. The meds always made me gain and I have been doing so well in my 90 day program and don't want to lose any of that loss.

I have lost every single one of my friends due to my weight gain. So for me this is a chance to make new friends. I'm sorry your friend isn't talking to you. Maybe try to get her to go to a seminar and consider the surgery for herself?

That's just hospital fluids. It's not a real weight gain. I'm glad ur doing better and out of the hospital

I take Zoloft for clinical depression and anxiety. I took it for years before surgery and am still taking it. I also take birth control pills(yes even at 50) or I will have trouble with cysts. I have lost weight maybe slower than others but I am 50. if you do not mind what antidepressant are you on? Some can cause weight gain. I gained 40 lbs. on Paxil over a 4 month period. It takes at least a month up to 6 weeks for them to kick in and you really feel a difference. You might also consider this. if you are an emotional eater and food was your friend and now it is not there to comfort you . . . it can make you feel crazy, looking for something to make you feel like you do when you can eat for comfort. I do not know you so you may not be an emotional eater but if you are that might be your problem and if you are stressed and depressed it is a tough road to go down without food. If you think that is you go see a therapist and learn some coping skills. That is what I have to rely on. Cheri

Well, I have been pretty vocal about my slow weight loss. Im 3 months out and have only lost about 37 lbs. Some days the restriction is full on, other days, like today, I barely feel anything. I dont know why some days are more restricted than others. Most times, more often then not, Im crying over slow weight loss and other days.. well, Im happy about things so far. HIT OR MISS..What helped me was looking at pics of me prior to my weight loss and pics of me now. I had 80lbs to go and I am half way there in three months. Well, not to bad all things considered, but I wanted to lose at least 15 per month so in my opinion, im behind about 8 lbs. But, at least there is loss. I remember for years one month turning into the next, no loss and in fact weight gain. Im done with being negative because whats done is done.. Cant go back.. just gonna think positive and DO MY PART, MEANING Water AND EXERCISE. I realized way in the first few weeks, this really is ONLY TOOL. I watch what I eat more now than ever. Still, I would have to say, no regrets.. In no way, absolutely no way do i feel like a lab rat. Hell, I remember in 2001 wanting and researching LapBand. People didnt have long term clinical studies and it was considered experimental then. Soooo... at the least I am a LAB DIVA!

I am 13 months out from surgery (at goal weight) and frequent the BP boards for the exact reasons you stated. I agree that it is way too easy to become relaxed once you are at maintenance and let old habits creep in. I find "checking in" daily helps me with accountability and even though reading the same posts over and over again from the newbies about hair loss, Protein intake, incision care, the best Protein drinks to buy, Vitamins making them sick, etc. gets really boring after awhile, I'm also reminded of the rules over and over again that I should be following that I sometimes have become relaxed on! Reading these posts and sharing my experience helps keep me on track! I help them to help me! Sadly, it becomes all too common for those of us farther out from surgery to abandon the support of these boards. I think that is a BIG MISTAKE. The reality is there IS truth to a honeymoon phase. There will come a time were you will stop losing weight. There will come a time where you can eat whatever you want. I chuckle every time I read a post from someone who just had surgery worried that they can hardly eat anything. Now with that being said, I can now sit in a restaurant and eat like a "normal" person but my new normal is far from where I was pre-surgery. I know how big my new tummy is and I don't try and eat beyond it's capability. I still get a full feeling after eating 3/4-1 cup of food. Certain foods now make me feel sick (sandwiches) so I avoid them. I didn't come into this process with food addiction issues (PCOS contributed to my weight gain) so I had one less thing to make the process difficult. With that being said, I even find old habits starting to creep in. My tendency not to plan meals ahead of time and eat on the go was a biggie for me. I was finding myself eating out more than a few times this past week. These extra calories will add up over time. I'm being extra vigilant planning meals ahead of time this week. We all need to take a look at what contributed to our weight gain. Especially those dealing with food addiction issues. It is common to substitute one addiction for another. What I can say, is losing weight has been the easy part in this process for me. I was able to get to my goal weight without issue. What I wasn't prepared for was the process I would go through in accepting my new body. I still view my body with a fat lens at times and its only when I see myself in photographs that I realize how much weight I've lost! Anyway.... Welcome back! There's no judging here. The fact that you came back and made your post shows how committed you are. I applaud you for sharing your experience with others. Let the newbies learn from our mistakes. We will continue to pick ourselves up and carry on. This is a ongoing journey that never ends. We are all here to support you. ????

I have yet to be sleeved, but I ALWAYS gain weight after surgery. They pump so much fluid in you, it's bound to happen. As a matter of fact, after I had a c-section (delievered an 8lb baby and all that goes with it) I came home and got on the scale because I wanted to see how much weight I lost after having a baby. Much to my dismay, I actually had gained a pound. lol I frantically called my OB/GYN to see what was going on. They said it was due to the surgery and all the fluids. It took a good two weeks before the weight started to go down. So moral of the story is, the weight gain is due to the surgery. Let your body heal

Yup, this! I have a lap band and my weight loss rate is much slower than someone who had RNY. For one thing, I'm not 100% restricted yet - probably about halfway there as I can still eat ~2500 calories a day. But that's less than my standard 3500 calorie diet so I consider that to be a win either way. It's enough of a difference that I lose about a pound a week. I'd lose about a pound a week through diet and exercise alone. The only difference (right now) is that I'm not suffering like I did before I had my band placed. Weight loss used to be torture. Now it just kind of happens, which is great! I'm looking forward to increased restriction so I can lose weight even faster but for now 1 pound a week is better than 0 pounds a week, or worse, weight gain! Now if you have RNY, you get the benefits of reduced absorption in addition to restriction and that helps the weight come off faster. So yes, it depends on the type of surgery you have. Regardless of what type it is, you will lose weight and just remember that any loss is good. Don't get discouraged if it's not as fast as you hope While it would be absolutely lovely to get to my goal weight in a couple months it just ain't gonna happen. It took a long time for me to get this fat, and it'll take a long time before I'm normal again.

Here's my little story! December 9, 2011 I had Gastric Sleeve surgery and thought that i had it all figured out. Turns out i did real good for awhile but my weightloss stopped may 2012 and hasnt ever restarted, its been 2 years and i have gained 30lbs back. I find myself back to fad dieting and getting depressed. Also i never even got close to my goal weight. I wanna know if there is anyone else out there that has had this problem and if soo what they were doing that has had to change or health issues anything i need some insight . thank you

I really am working on not eating sugars because sugar is what has contributed to my past weight gain and diabetes. Sugar is addictive and you can eat a lot of foods really easy that are sugary. those foods are sliders. I choose to avoid sugars as much as possible and eat a wholesome diet focusing around proteins and veggies. I eat or drink anything with caffeine in them now either. i don't miss it either. My plan is to eat healthy and balanced, like the Paleo diet. I even choose to eat foods that are organic without pesticides and antibiotics put in them. Healthy only for me.... I really love this. A side note, I am not perfect and will occassionally eat something that is not organic when eating at friends houses and restaurants. I love my new life style.....

Thanks, kiz! Did you notice any weight gain after the gb surgery (if you don't mind me asking)? Or do you find it harder to lose weight because of the gb removal?

I was sleeved in May 2014. My top weight was 252 (the day of surgery) and I lost down to 165 in a little over a year’s time. I have since gained weight and am at 220. I’m extremely depressed about it, yet nothing I am doing is helping. I’ve read that some have undergone a re-sleeve after some weight gain and I’m interested in finding anyone who has had this done and if so, has it been successful a 2nd time and who has re-sleeved you? I moved to Iowa three years ago and can’t find anyone who does it. HELP!

I lost a big chunk of weight in my two weeks pre op and my first 4 weeks after surgery. I started eating solid foods and the scale did not move for two weeks and I am actually gaining weight back. 3 pounds so far. Am not eating too many calories. Is my honey moon stage over???

2yrs, weight coming back, help

I have dieted off and on most of my adult life!! And if anyone would ask me if they should do it I would say go with your heart!! Do what you feel is right even if others don't!! But I agree I was just a few months from turning 30, but I say that it was a great time, I was done having kids, didn't have to worry about the weight gain there. But anyway long story short lol YES IT IS!!

This is my story and Journey after having my bypass years ago-9 to be specific. It all started out with a huge hiatal hernia to be repaired. My surgeon recommend me to seek lap band surgery, as being overweight might not hold the hernia repair , and he told me it would be a real diservice to me if he did not advice me to do so. So, off I went to a weight loss seminar, and spoke with Dr. Gregory Schroder as to wether or not I would be a candidate. He felt not, as having the Nisson Fundoplasty could potenuate problems down the road. I so appreciated his honesty, and he mentioned a surgeon who performs gastric bypasses to see if I was a candidate. Immediately I was, despite my history of depression and chrohns.. So off I go. Oh I was told that there could be complications such as a leak, and nausea post op, but this rarely happends. I was also told to be very strict with my diet, because after three years, your puch my be stretched, and weight gain indeed can happen. I was very compliant. Weight loss very successful.Hoever, ther have been so many complications down the road. My surgeon left to go to Doctor's Without Borders, and has left the state. I ended up having immediate surgeery to remove my gallbladder 1 year later. Dr. Shroder's group did that for me. Three years post-op I had an open strangulated hernia repair- again by Dr. Gregory Schroder. I suffer from chronic nausea and vomiting. I have terrible painful lower cramps as well. I had a picc line 3 years ago, as my weight has drooped so low due to the nausea and vomiting. My weight has dropped as low as 86 pounds. I just can't keep the weight on. How ironic life is. You'd think how nice it would be to eat and not gain a pound, but it has become a curse. I could not work anymore in my favorite job as a PACU nurse, as I didnt have the strength to move the stretchers anymore, or the stamina. The excertion just made my weight drop even more. I can work , but can't do physical labor anymore. I want you to know I watch MY 600 POUND LIFE. My husband and daughter don't understand. So many people struggle with different things in their lifes. Life after surgery is a Journey in itself, and will always be. I so applaud those who share their stories, and know that the journey never stops. I share my story here, becaus gastric bypass is a serious surgery. I think people should really think about it instead of jumping on it right away like I did. Learn to love yourself. I know how hard it is to be overweight. Everyone wants a quick fix. I know I did. I wish everyone who does have the surgery much success. I will continue with my story as time progresses. Bless you all-CBT

Went to meet with the Bariatric Coordinator on Wednesday to start the process. She thinks I’m a good candidate and has given me all the first steps I need to do Already have all kinds of appointments set up... psyc consult, nutritionist and physical theory (that one was new to me... apparently its to help people who have not been active get active safely... she admitted it was silly for me but I have to go anyways). Go back in a month to see how I’m doing and how much weight I have lost (Need to lose 11lbs before I can have surgery). I’m very excited, but of course I had a curveball thrown at me today... found out I’m officially 'pre-diabetic' (exactly what I wanted to avoid) and I have some insulin issue too... now the doc wants to play the game of weight gain because of above or above because of weight gain :scared2:. This should be fun but seeing I have been over weight my whole life, I think the band will be a great tool for me. Well, that was long but what can I say... I’m excited :w00t:

Lee, Good for you for doing all you can to get healthier and doing what's best for you! I know it has to be hard to not have a lot of support from your family, hopefully they will come around! I posted my jealousy situation on another thread a few weeks ago, but I'll repost it here on yours, here's my deal: I am currently having a situation with a lifelong friend who has always and forever been the "thin" one and now our roles are almost reversed (I am by no means "thin" yet but. . . .) she has been gaining steadily over the last several years and now we are within 10 pounds of each other. Her weight continues to go up and thankfully, mine is still going down. She is having a very hard time with this as she is supposed to be the the "thin" one, not me -- I'm supposed to stay fat, forever. It has, as you can imagine, really put a strain on our friendship. She claims to diet and exercise constantly but when we are together and there is food involved, she makes all of the wrong choices for "dieting" or eating healthy and tries to get me to do the same. She gets very aggravated when I tell her I can't eat the cheesesteaks, thick-crust pizzas, mega fries and strombolis anymore. I've tried to explain to her that it will get stuck and cause me tremendous pain, not to mention all the other fun stuff we go through when something clashes with our band! I'm not sure how this is going to work out, but right now, it doesn't look too good. I'm really hoping she can come to terms with her weight gain and not be so negative towards me for doing something that is improving my health. It has to be hard for her, having such a role reversal, and I know all too well how being overweight and unhappy feels.......I've had years and years of practice. I've offered to exercise with her, share recipes, whatever, but she's not interested. The thing that really got to her was when her 7-year-old said "mommy, Stacy is skinnier than you now, you're getting really fat!" I know that really hurt her feelings, too. I feel really bad for her because I know her struggle, but she doesn't want to work at losing weight together. I don't know, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. I posted this about a month ago and sadly, nothing has changed. I've lost a few more pounds and she has gained more and become more bitter. I'm almost afraid to bring up anything about weight loss or healthy eating because she bites my head off. We don't talk nearly as much as we used to and she gets really ticked off if our friends comment on my weight loss. We have definitely drifted further apart; it seems the more weight I lose the madder she gets. :faint:

Honestly, shy may be in a fair amount of denial. I denied my weight gain for a LONG time. Sure, I was overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds... HOLY CRAP I NEED TO LOSE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!!!! It was a bit of a shock when I MADE myself see what I looked like, how much I weighed and what was "normal". This may be a part of it. She is definitely in denial about her size and I don't think she is being honest about her weight or diet either. She is a twin and her sister is at least 30 pounds smaller than her and wears a smaller size; they are constantly in competition and she seems to feel that if she can get in a smaller size (whether it zips or not) it fits. Unfortunately, it looks like she is about to burst out of her clothes because she refuses to get a bigger size. I had a friend in high school who was bigger than me, so I figured I was 'okay' if I stayed smaller than her... her and I both gained weight proportionately over the years, I was still smaller than her tho, maybe your friend feels something like this? I'm sure this is part of it too. I was ALWAYS the "fat" one in the group, weighing at least 50 pounds or more than everyone else. The rest of our friends don't have a problem with my weight loss or the surgery, and are very supportive and complimentary. But, I'm not the fattest anymore. Our friends say that if we stand together, she is much bigger than I am. Of course, my mental image hasn't changed yet so I still see myself 50 pounds heavier and think the rest of my friends are nuts, lol! I hope it can get worked out, I've lost alot of friendships for various reasons, mostly that most of the friends I've had are still living the same lives they lived in high school (10 years later), and it drives me nuts! but all of the friendships lost for whatever reason hurt. Thank you! I hope we can work it out too - it's a lifelong friendship I would hate to have end over jealousy. Our kids are friends, and it's a shame she is so bitter right now. It's to the point none of the rest of our friends even invite her to parties or outings because she is so negative and unhappy even around her kids and they don't want her around THEIR kids! It does hurt too, she was really excited before I had the surgery. . . . .until you could "see" I lost weight. Maybe it has to do with me getting more attention now. Maybe she is jealous because I fade into the woodwork less now? I don't know. Right now I'm just giving her time and space as she needs it. There's not much else I can do. Thanks again for the support and kind words. I hope everything is okay too with you and your mom! Take care!

Honestly, shy may be in a fair amount of denial. I denied my weight gain for a LONG time. Sure, I was overweight and could stand to lose a few pounds... HOLY CRAP I NEED TO LOSE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY POUNDS!!!! It was a bit of a shock when I MADE myself see what I looked like, how much I weighed and what was "normal". I had a friend in high school who was bigger than me, so I figured I was 'okay' if I stayed smaller than her... her and I both gained weight proportionately over the years, I was still smaller than her tho, maybe your friend feels something like this? I hope it can get worked out, I've lost alot of friendships for various reasons, mostly that most of the friends I've had are still living the same lives they lived in high school (10 years later), and it drives me nuts! but all of the friendships lost for whatever reason hurt.

hi there, its normal to waiver back and forth but i found that when i had done my homework, i felt very secure with my decision to get banded. i was a thin child too, but started having a little weight gain around 30 yrs old and it just went from a little to alot. im 54 now, i was banded last december starting at 225 lbs. i followed the dr.s rules 95% of the time and have had almost no discomfort at all. (the 1st 10 days felt like a badly pulled muscle, i didnt use the pain reliever after the 3rd day, didnt need to) im now 170 lbs, and my days just keep getting better and better ! i swim 3x a week, and im starting with a ymca running program ! (tommorrow ! Me ? a runner ?? No way !!!!) i no longer have sleep apnea, my digestive problems are gone, i get compliments on how i look all the time, ive gone from frumpy, stretchy old lady size 18-1x clothes to size 14 skinny jeans and cute attractive tops. need i go on ? My only regret is i didnt do it sooner ! You MUST make a decision for YOU, not based on others feelings , cause its not them that has to live in YOUR body. hope all goes well for, good luck !

Thanks, BG -- I know you've lost a bunch, too! I guess I'll repost this next week for a true update. I'm leaving to Mexico tomorrow for a week's vacation. And I put off having my fill until I get back to make darn sure I don't experience problems down there. So I'm pretty wide open at the moment - ack! : ) Actually, I'm not worried about weight gain. I'm going to go have a ball, not have a care in the world, and just chill on the beach. If there's a small weight gain, I'll just deal with it when I get back and get my next fill. : ) Happy Halloween, everybody - see ya' in a week!

Funny, I never felt I was "obese" until I saw pictures of myself. when I looked in the mirror I didn't see it. When I looked down at myself, I didn't see it. When I held my clothes out in front of me I didn't see it. I was unhappy with my weight gain the first several years, and then after a while it didn't really matter. I was happy with myself. I didn't consider the lap band until I started seeing physical health problems evolve as a result. My husband NEVER said anything about my weight so I felt secure and totally accepted. We started having sex less about 2 years ago. I just assumed it was him and a "man" problem. He was compliemntary, and sweet and it didn't ever occur to me that I was the problem. I got banded about 2 1/2 weeks ago, and this past weekend, I brought up the subject with my husband. It was only then that he dropped the bomb on me that he is no longer sexually attracted to me, and that he was fine physically. I'm devastated, and for the first time, I have TOTAL self loathing. I'm humiliated and literally sick. I just want to crawl under a rock. Now I don't even want him to look at me. It's earth shattering to realize your husband actually finds you repulsive. I don't remember when I've been this sad or depressed. My new band, which was bringing me so much self confidence, almost seems like a waste of time. What do I do?????? Great timing huh?

I read a story of a vet sleeve patient that I could relate to all too well. I leaned on her for support as a mentor. She posted her reflections and it clicked for me. She told me that her choice to have surgery was like ending a toxic marriage. Kind of like divorcing that abusive, inconsiderate, doucehbag of a husband who was a person she loved to hate. The relationship was toxic, but they had good years similar to the good years we have with dieting/exercising/doing it the "old fashioned" way, and then those toxic behaviors, issues in the marriage would pop up again, and the marriage would go to pot, AGAIN. That made perfect sense to me, I could lose weight, I could diet and exercise, I knew the cause of my weight gain after each diet attempt and why I couldn't keep the weight off. I had a toxic relationship with food, quantity and my love of food with no consequence other than being fat were my issues. I wasn't an emotional or compulsive eater, volume was my issue. I just knew that I couldn't do it without surgical intervention. Just like some people can not leave a marriage/relationship without intervention from family, or a major trigger to make them see that they need to get out. I hope all of that makes sense. I never had any issues post-op with the acceptance of having to have surgery to be successful. I'm not one of those that believe this is the easy way out, it's easier because I had surgery, but so is driving to the store instead of walking.