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alanon meetings can give you the tools and wisdom to deal with alcoholics... i highly recommend you attend, for your sake and your own sanity. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. but the result is always the same when dealing with drunks. disapointment and broken boundries.......i personally wont have anything to do with an alcoholic that is not in recovery for at least 3 or 4 years............ even then im cautious. take care of yourself and get help for you. we cant change others......hope your fill goes well. im getting a fill this weekend......... hate the needle but love the results.....

Claramae, I have been in AA for the last 20 years. My brother and uncle are also in recovery. My mother and father both died of Alcoholism. Do not blame yourself. Nothing can make your daughter get help till SHE wants it. It is sad but it is true. When she yells at you on the phone, HANG UP. It is the best thing you can do for her. Let her know her drunken behavior is not acceptable to you. An active alcoholic knows no limits ,so you have to set yours as to what you will and will not put up with.I hope someday your daughter gets help. But it is not your fault. Donna

I, too am a mother of an alcoholic. He's been sober now for 3 years, and finally appears to be on the road,, but we all know it just takes one. He was lucky enough to have a good judge when he had his 2nd DUI and she sent him to rehab for a month. Costly for him, but even he was grateful. Although I didn't go to AlAnon, it is supportive. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!! Hugs to you.

My Mom died of alcoholism. I did everything I could. I petitioned her to force her into treatment (you can lead a horse to Water and all that happy crap), I went to AA meetings with her, I begged, I pleaded... nada. To be really blunt and honest, I finally got to the point that I knew she would die of alcoholism and I did what I could for me. I did everything I could for her so that when she did die, I could at least say there was no stone unturned. I did it all. I know, not very encouraging but quite frankly, it's true. An alcoholic has to come to terms with themselves and there isn't a bloody thing you can do to speed up that process. We have food, they have alcohol. Is there anything anyone did or said that made a difference to you before you were ready to change your life? Not darned likely. Hang in there, it's no easy task.

Ok I confess..... Last night instead of going straight to school... That evilness subconcious knocked out my lapband diet angel.....and ...made me decide to stop at WallyWorld(WalMart).... for what....for some SUGAR! sugar free candy that is....hey..hey I know what you are thinking ...it is not as bad as some of these other posts...but calories are calories...no matter what it is that you eat.... (ha! I recognize that today...what about last night....dumb..dumb) any hoot......I convinced myself I was going in to buy a bag of the sugar free peanut crunch only.....ha..... I bouth a bag of the sugar free peanut crunch...a bag of the sugar free reese's Peanut Butter cups and a bag of sugar free coffee chews. So I go back in the car...drive off to school and while driving had about 4 peanut crunch's, 3 peanut butter cups and 2 coffee chews.... there went a hard days work of exercising! Oh...and then I hide the bag and receipt in my bag and left it in the car last night.... after class guess what I was doing...yep ..:teeth_smile:.pucking...... Darn that evil voice for winning...... I was just out of control! Point is....we are no different than alcoholics...a sip of that drink...is still a drink!:crying:

I'm 26. I got banded in January and I don't regret it one bit, although I do get paranoid a lot that I'm not losing weight fast enough. It's definately something you should do if need be and I agree, 15 thousand is a lot but you can find places that do it a lot cheaper. Mexico, I believe, is half that. I'm lucky because my province pays for the surgery and all you have to fork over is the money for the band itself, but if you do have to pay yourself, check out mexico, or even if you go on websites, they have specials in certain places. When I lose weight, I'm going on the HUGEST shopping spree. I can't wait. I think that's what I'm most excited about. As for alcohol, breaking up with Beer is painful but think about what you're gaining. A new life, a new body, a new plateau of self-respect and you'll just generally feel better about yourself. Plus - hard alcohol is still there. It's a little more expensive but if you pre-buy it in a liquor store, you are saving a lot of money. I can't wait to see my end results. It's worth everything I've had to give up.

Everyone is doing SO awesome. I'm amazed and astounded by everyone. Especially those of you who run or jog. My bra size has definitly (and sadly) decreased, but I still can't find a sports bra that would make anything other than a brisk walk OK. I need to look on-line, Walmart's the only thing we have here, and not really the place to buy something like that I guess. So I'm sure the problem is not unique to me, but I have this total "all or nothing" mindset that definitely hurts my progress, rather than being helpful. It's not new since the surgery, it's always been my problem. But I know I need to fix so many things - I need to eat more healthy, drink more Water, drink less alcohol, work out more, be better about the money I spend, keep my house cleaner, treat my car better, walk my dog more, spend more time with my family, and be more focused at work. So I decide I'll fix it all. I make rules for myself in every aspect, and when I fail at one, I decide it's hopeless and give up on everything. Logically, I realize I should just pick one thing and focus on it, I can fix the rest later, you know? So, that's my main goal for June. Focus on a few things, and don't beat myself up for the other things I should be better about. Therefore, I've decided to concentrate on the following: WATER CONSUMPTION - there's no way I'm taking in enough water, and I can actually feel that I'm dehydrated way to often. I will drink (and by drink I mean drink and FINISH, not take a few swallows then leave it lying around somewhere) two of my bottles of water - each bottle is 33.8 ounces. NO FAST food - I don't eat a lot of it, but chicken McNuggets are my answer to a quick meal, and I'm fooling myself that they're OK. Just because they're chicken by name, does not make them healthy. Also, it's like 2000 degrees where I live (forecast for the next two days is 106) and my treat is a Mister Misty Float from Dairy Queen (if you've never had one, it's kind of like a rootbeer float, but it's vanilla ice cream in a slushie). And it's not I like I get the smallest one they have ... though I will say I never finish the ones I buy anymore. But it's sugar and crap I don't need, and a total waste of calories. So, fast food is gone. This I can do. WORKING OUT - my goals are small and wimpy, but I've been so bad about the workouts I'm starting smaller. First of all, I will walk at least one block a day. This is such a small thing, but I go so many days now without even this amount of exersize. And if for no other reason, it's mean not to take my dog out at least that much (I pretty much walk to the corner and back with him when he needs to go out, which is just not right). And I will go back to the gym. I will. Here I have to succeed. Thanks for everyone's support. Oh, and that's my other goal - I'll log on here at least 4 times a week - I won't go two days without logging onto this site. It keeps me focused and keeps my goals in mind, and otherwise I can turn a blind eye to my band and my goals and my reasons for being here in the first place. So I'll remember the support I have hear, and use it as one more tool to help me towards my goals.

Welcome back to all those who were on holidays!!!! Change is so nice for the mind and soul;. Well things are moving I am so happy to say, just hope I can keep them that way. Thanks for your tips, I think The benefibre has surely helped, I think "Ben" and I are going to be best buds! Have a good weekend everybody. I am off to the beach for a girls weekend. I shall be testing the band with booze . I haven't done too much drinking ( Alcohol) since getting the band. Only one person THat I will be partying with knows that I have the band. I hope that I can Still handle my booze. It just might be a liquid diet for the weekend. I am so excited about having a drink that I went to the liquor store and spent $200.00 because I couldn't decide what I might want to drink??????? Hope to talk to you all on Monday. Wish me luck.

Whats your food look like each day?that is a good question.I usually wake up at 6 AM, I take a protein shake or a bar (Quest). Then I go to the gym from 6h45 to 8h15. 15 minutes elliptical to warm up, a 30 minutes weight lifting with 80% of max weight and high rep until failure of the muscle group. I usually do 3 x 10-12 reps of different exercises, then 30 seconds rest and another set of 3. 30 minutes running to finish. Once I get to work I have another bar / shake. At lunch I usually take a salad (2 boiled eggs, some chickpeas or beans, couple of cherry tomatoes, green. No dressing) and a fat free yogurt for later. no snack in the afternoon. If I am hungry, I go for another yogurt. in the evening I usually go for scrambled eggs (2), or sea food (shrimps, squids, smoked salmon) and a smoothie (Watermelon, light cranberry juice is my favorite). no late snacks. During weekend I usually take lest protein shakes / bars and eat poultry, fish, etc. I don't have any cravings or things I want to eat. I select food I know will work for my sleeve, but I don't miss anything...yet. it may change later. I don't know. I don't enjoy eating as I used to (which is a good thing because that is the reason why I am obese), even if I still cook for my family during the weekends. This is a good thing as I want to move on with my life and have other objectives. Hope it helps. Awesome post. I love it when members detail what they eat and their activity level- it's very helpful and I always get some good ideas. Can you share how you make the watermelon smoothie? I'm convinced I'm part fruit monkey- can't get enough. Btw way to go!!! You are on fire!!! Love your attitude. Thank you for your nice comments. I do what I can, and it is not working too bad for now. For the smoothie, I take some watermelon I put in the blender, some ice (a few cubes) I add light cranberry juice and voila! I also do it wiith unsweetened peach ice tea. I like the combined flavors. Sometime I add a full peach in it. I try to avoid high sugar content fruits such as cherries or grapes. Mango juice was not a good idea as the flavor overtakes the watermelon completely. I tried to mix pineapple and light coconut milk. That makes an awesome alcohol free cocktail. Something else I do in the morning: I put an espresso shot in my chocolate shake with skimmed milk. Awesome cappuccino ! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Hello Bariatric Buddies (corny right? lol) I thought I'd come on here and share my experience so far for those who may be thinking about weight loss surgery OR are scheduled to undergo surgery soon. I started my bariatric surgery journey May 4th 2021 after YEARS of wanting to do it but not having the courage to start. At that point i was 298LBS. At my heaviest i was 305LBS. What prompted me to just go for it and conquer my fears was just wanting to be healthy again. I was tired of making excuses and as sad as it sounds i was tired of looking in the mirror every day staring at myself morphing into this person i no longer wanted to be. Fortunately for me, i didn't have any MAJOR health issues, however i did/do suffer from PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome). For anyone who knows the struggles of PCOS you know trying fad diets and exercising isn't really helpful when trying to lose weight when your hormones are so imbalanced. Any who, going forward - i contacted my local bariatric surgery center and set up my initial consult. Since we're still being affected by covid, majority of my appointments were via video. My first consult they went over my eligibility requirements, health history and goals. After speaking with the nurse navigator they then scheduled my next visit with the Surgeon who would then change my life forever. So, two weeks later, i meet my surgeon VIA zoom (and let me say, i love that she was blunt, super honest and made sure my goals and perception of the surgery was realistic), she told me about herself, she asked me a few questions about my life, health history in depth, and she then went over my surgery options and what she felt would be my best choice (Gastric Bypass RNY). We ended the appointment on a good note. At that point i was feeling good, motivated and just proud of myself, like - GOSH, I'M FINALLY DOING THIS! At this point in the process, i have scheduled an appointment to get an EKG, chest X-RAY, cardiology, pulmonary, and a behavioral specialist. Over the course of 4 months i would complete each appointment and the specialists would send over their impressions over to the surgeon. September 3rd. I had my pre op class (with a dietitian). I signed a bunch of papers stating that i would not consume alcohol or use tobacco. I watched a video and then the dietitian stated that starting September 9th - until September 19th i will need to be on a full liquid pre op diet - at that point in the liquid diet you are not allowed to take any vitamin supplements, and or specific medications (they would go over that with you). September 9th came around and i started my three protein shakes a day, with drinking 64OZ of water until September 19th as advised. Let me tell you, that was the single most hardest thing that i have EVER done, but in the end i was so proud of myself. September 20th at 10:00AM i had to drink 10OZ of Magnesium Citrate to bowel cleanse in preparation for surgery the next morning. I spent all day in the bathroom. Around 1:30PM i received a call from the hospital letting me know what time i needed to be at the hospital for surgery the next day (9/21/21) which ended up being 7AM. I had so much trouble falling asleep that night as i was so excited yet SO nervous! Surgery day rolls around and i am up getting ready. We (my boyfriend and i) then make our way to the hospital, check in, and head to my pre op room to be prepped. They took my temperature, and my weight. When i started, i was 298 - the day of surgery i was 282LBS! At 9:40AM i went in for surgery and was in the OR for about 4HOURS. I spent about an hour and a half in recovery where they gave me 1OZ water every half hour, that would continue as i was transported to my room that i would stay for the next 24HOURS. My hospital stay wasn't bad, and my nurses/doctors were super attentive, supportive and courteous! They came in almost every hour to check my temperature, blood pressure, and incisions. I went home 9/22/21 at 9:40AM. 1st day home was challenging. I was in so much pain and discomfort. That quickly subsided as the days passed. But in those days, i attempted to drink water and protein and move around as much as possible because walking truly helps with the pain. Here i am 9 days post op and i am not at 100% yet but i am improving i still feel slight pain only where i have internal sutures, and i am gassy (like burping and stomach feeling bloated) - for that i use GAS-X - it's amazing! I currently weigh 273LBS which makes a total of 25LBS lost and 9LBS lost since surgery. 6 Day's post op i was back at work (I KNOW I KNOW I AM CRAZY - BUT I WORK IN AN OFFICE AT MY DESK MAJORITY OF THE DAY SO I AM OKAY).. Hopefully this helps! & if anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask :)

My plan allows for alcohol after one month. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I've had a couple of skinny margaritas. Definitely felt the alcohol burn going down. Don't think an occasional drink is going to cause you to lose control of your diet. I'm 8 weeks out btw.

My Nurse Practitioner allows for non carbonated alcohol at the one month mark, in moderation. As I am not a drinker, it is a non-issue for me, but yes, some programs allow for it.

Hey all, How are you all?? I have missed you! I have been away, but not really away just being unhealthy and not wanting to get online and admit it. I now realize that it was a mistake not to get on here and at least read the posts. On the positive front, I went to the gym today and walked an hour. That was 3 miles, not great speed, but not a snails pace either. I go for my 4th fill on Aug 9 and I hope that it will be the one that gives me some restriction. Can you believe there are 3cc's in my band that holds 4cc's and I have no restriction. Hello!!!! I can eat at least 3 to 4 cups of food at a sitting. That can't be right! I know I am not supposed to. I know what you guys are thinking too. Why would she do that?? (sobbing) I don't know, because I'm hungry. Today though, I vow that today is the start (again) of a better lifestyle healthier choices! starting my journal again! exercising like I should 5 days a week! Hey, I know it's nuts. If crazy is the worst thing I am ever called then I live a charmed life. Why is it, that we as overweight adults have to keep falling on and off the wagon. It is sortof like alcoholics. Only its food and you do need food to survive unlike booze. I hope when I go for my 4th fill I am in the twos. That would just be the greatest thing ever!!! And then, I will strive for the 280's and then the 270's and so on. Until maybe one day I am looking forward to the onederland. That is such a long way away. But a girl can dream can't she. Thanks for listening to the rantings of a fellow bandster.

Zannie and Gina GREAT JOB on your weight loss!!! You are both doing so great, you are my inspiration.:clap2: It seems as though my weight loss is slow. I can honeslty say that I have eaten bad things, such as sasla and chips( mostly baked) and some alcohol here and there. but over all I eat what I should and have been working out. I was hoping to get to the 200 mark by vacation August 25, but that won't happen. Gina, good luck on your next fill! What number is this? I hopefully will have a fill on August 24 when I go to the doctor. My first fill was July31 and not so great experience, long story. I hope we can all meet in September, that will be fun. I go to my first support group on Monday, August 13. It is in Richmond at St. Mary's Hospital, but it is still an hour away from home, which stinks! they have one specific for lapband and then one every week for all wl surgery. Great you are at your zone Zannie, let me ask you both a question. there are many times I get a feeling in my throat like food is there, or after you vomit, I know gross, but that is how it feels. i cant get rid of it. A friend who was banded same date as me said maybe I am getting full with my last fill and I am over eating and that is causing the food to back up. What do you think? Well, got to run to the gym!!! Take care. I wish when you changed your ticker, it did not go back and change it for the previous months, that is strange! I lost 2lbs!! :whoo:

You don't have to rule it out forever, just remember for the first 6 months or so.. and not for nothing, juice is great with alcohol. Screwdrivers, gin and juice, cranberry and vodka... all great. LOL

When I was in the hospital nurse told me to sniff rubbing alcohol and put an ice cold cloth on my chest and that helped.

Too soon. You're still healing. You need to worry about getting fluids (NOT ALCOHOL) and Protein right now. Why do you want to deprive your body of much needed nutrients for empty, non nutritious calories?? Call your surgeon. He will tell you the same.

Less body mass Ah, of course. How could I forget, it's the whole point of WLS. So if you loose 30% then you get drunk 30% faster or with a 30% smaller drink. I've been thinking, and I suspect the stomach acts as a "holding tank", releasing its contents (alcohol) slowly over time, and that with a smaller stomach the alcohol now hits the small intestine faster at a higher concentration. So the liver hits its max faster and the brain gets hit with the difference. Thanks for indulging a nerd.

Addiction transferrence. You basically are prevented from indulging in your food addiction, so you end up transferring it to another thing, in order to "cope." Often, that's alcohol. The solution is, don't drink alcohol. My surgeon said I need to avoid it for a year post-op, anyway. Probably partly because it converts to sugar and partly to avoid the risk of transferring my mental/emotional addiction to alcohol.

There is an entire history from my hubby's mother/grandmother of the year mom. His parents divorced when he was 13, and his brother was 16. His brother lived with mom and my hubby chose dad. Mom was an alcoholic (brother is too), a chain smoker and very abusive to my hubby but his brother could do no wrong. Now that has transfered to the grandkids. The brothers kids are great, she spends time with them, attends soccer games and school programs. My daughter gets overlooked every year. I prefer it that way, she is not loving and kind like a grandma should be. She is overbearing and short tempered. She threatned to spank Abi a few years ago and I told her if she ever spanked my child I would press charges. We are her parents and should handle the punishments. We don't spank her, she gets her hands slapped or she gets timeout. Spanking simply doesn't work with an ADHD child. She says that is a cop out for us not wanting to be more firm with her. We have the pleasure of seeing her 4 times a year, the 3 kids b-day and the week before Christmas we all get togehter at my house and exchange gifts. I have the holidays in my home, I hated being taken to family's house after opening our gifts as a kid so I don't make Abi do that, we spend days before the holidays with extended family and friends. Then Christmas afternoon is open house around here. I make enough desssert for about 75 people and there is usually one a few small things left over. I tried to make a relationship wih DH's family. (they have never been a close family) and it worked for a while. Then 3 years ago Abi was getting old enough to understand what the gifts were, and what home means. So I put my foot down and said that holidays would be in our home, we could do other days with family. My wonderful DH's grandma tod everyone I was a black sheep and she disowned me and hubby. I was told that unless I planned to spend the entire day at her house I wasn't welcomed there anymore. She actually told me that I could not see my family on Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Easter. I told her she was being unreasonable and that is when she disowned us. Fastforward about a year, I was working in a very busy tattoo studio that was being put on the market for sale. She and her roommate decided to buy the place and allow me to run it, they were going to be there only to collect money and handle paying the utility bills. I worked for them for 8 months. I was expected to stay at the same salary, and commission rate but now work extra hours, do all the supply shopping, and clean the shop twice a month on my days off. When I asked for a raise or some help with the cleaning and shopping (these were never my job before) I was called moneyhungry and accused of trying to run them into the poor house. I worked 3 nights a week, 5pm to 10pm and sat from noon to midnight. I got $200 a week plus commission. My job was to manage the artist, order all shop supplies, help customers, do light cleaning and work the front counter. I made 50% of my piercings (industry standard is between 35% and 60%). I tried to talk to my MIL and her partner and explain that I was having to drive to my mom's house to care for Abi, and that was also taking serious time, and gas money and the shopping was also costing me gas money and time. I also had to pay for everything and wait for the end of the week to get reimbursed. I was totally stressing out, losing my hair, and my blood pressure was going through the roof. I started hating my job, a job that I had for 10 years and loved every day that I worked. One day my home phone rang and it was the busines partner, screaming about the price of papertowels, saying I was spending too much. I told her the comfort of the customers was very important to me and she said that the money was more important. I told her I quit and have never been back. The relationship with MIL has never been the same. She stood there crying while I packed my things in the shop. The partner called the police to make sure I didn't steal anything from them. It was such an ugly situation, I have never forgiven her for allowing the partner to treat me the way she did. She never defended me and never tried to make the situation better. Things are always tense now, and I suspect they always will be. I love my husband and can't understand how such a cold hearted woman could have raised such a wonderful man. I am gald to have him in my life and my mother loves him like a son. He says that he is the luckiest man in the world. He has a great MIL, and he always says I got the short end of the stick with his mom. Now that you know the story, you can see why her behavior is not surprising at all. It just sucks for Abi has to suffer. I have a girlfriend that is older and she treats Abi like a grandchild, and also a neighbor that loves her too. She is lucky, she has several people in her life that make up for the lack of a real grandparent on that side of the family. Sorry to ramble, but I feel much better now. ~Mandy

Well I had my first fill today. It wasn't bad like I thought it was going to be. He just had me lay down on the table poked around on the right side of my tummy. (by the way my dumbass thought my port was on the left haha) Then he rubbed alcohol on my tummy said your going to feel a small stick then some movement and pressure. I was prepared for the worse and it never came. The stick wasn't worse then a regular shot prick and when he put the fluid in I got kind of a head rush. You can't really explain the feeling. It's not bad just different. I sat up drank a few sips of water and was on my way. Pretty easy considering what I was expecting. I am down 40 pounds now so thats really exciting. I'm on liquids tonight then mushies then I can go back to normal foods. I'm really feeling the band tonight, but he said some people swell and that should go down in a few days. I'm enjoying it while it lasts because I'm not hungry at all and I have been starving for like a month. I go back in 2 weeks to see if I need another fill. Hopefully he will tell me I've lost another 2-4 pounds. I am really excited to have my first fill because it makes it seem just that much more real to me. Hope all is well with everyone.

Well I had my first fill today. It wasn't bad like I thought it was going to be. He just had me lay down on the table poked around on the right side of my tummy. (by the way my dumbass thought my port was on the left haha) Then he rubbed alcohol on my tummy said your going to feel a small stick then some movement and pressure. I was prepared for the worse and it never came. The stick wasn't worse then a regular shot prick and when he put the fluid in I got kind of a head rush. You can't really explain the feeling. It's not bad just different. I sat up drank a few sips of water and was on my way. Pretty easy considering what I was expecting. I am down 40 pounds now so thats really exciting. I'm on liquids tonight then mushies then I can go back to normal foods. I'm really feeling the band tonight, but he said some people swell and that should go down in a few days. I'm enjoying it while it lasts because I'm not hungry at all and I have been starving for like a month. I go back in 2 weeks to see if I need another fill. Hopefully he will tell me I've lost another 2-4 pounds. I am really excited to have my first fill because it makes it seem just that much more real to me. Hope all is well with everyone.

I believe you guys but I can't chime in since I'm against against anything that alters your mind, although that would make me a hypocrite since I've been on a type of runner's euphoria since my surgery, and I'm addicted to this weight training I'm doing so I guess things that are mind altering can also cause addiction........ And I've had alcohol a couple of times since surgery, mostly wine, so who am I to judge....... Hope you know I posted this to make people smile, and realize that we are all different for a reason, how can we even judge others after what some of us have been through???? Food for thought

Marijuana isn't addictive IMHO. Never seen anyone go through detox on it. Same category as alcohol but even less danger. Nobody ever beat their family on pot. Never seen a bunch of stoners in a bar brawl. However even medically it's used to induce increased appetite. If i hadn't quit (other than the rare once every couple years) I would probably steer clear on that aspect. So forego that weekly joint, you heathen pothead lolol!