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I was sleeved August 16 and have lost 55 lbs (37 lbs of which post surgery). I'm female aged 60 and have started exercising, mainly swimming and cardio/strength at gym, in the last 6 weeks. I still have severe lower back pain. I've found it hard to quit alcohol but have certainly cut back. So long as scales keep heading South, even slowly, I'll persevere x

that was a nice long thread to read. I agree with everyone here, I have empathy too. Just because someone may not be attracted to someone obese, doesn't mean it's shallow; it's just his/her preference. I've been mostly thin/fit for my life, besides the last 9 years or so when I started gaining. Even at thin/fit and single, I was attracted to certain kinds of guys, some huskies, some muscular, some average, but I have never looked at anyone obese with disgust; they were just not my type. I was also very athletic and outgoing, so I gravitated towards those kind of guys too. I married a slightly slim man who was just 15lbs more than I at the time. He's still slim (God's blessed him with high metabolism) but gained a few pounds and is very happy about it. LOL. When he's pumping the iron...ooh baby! My kind. LOL Okay, enough of my hubby....people will usually always gravitate towards others with the same interests in mind. And if there was a problem and it has been dealt with/fixed, then they shouldn't go down that path with others who are dealing with what was an issue for them. Unless they're called to be an advocate or something for others to get their lives back on track; much like someone who overcame drugs/alcohol and is now a counselor for others in that boat. But it takes a very dedicated, healed, and motivated individual to carry on and not fall back in to old habits too. But back to dating; it's all based on character and personality attraction; physical is the bonus and there's no right or wrong attraction either. It's how you deal with it.

Why so defensive? It's a fact the better prepared you are, the odds for success will be in your favor. It's that way with anything in life. Just statung facts. But please, let your emotions rule your response. I'm no spring chicken. I'm also a WLS veteran. This isn't easy, so rushing into it and not being emotionally ready tends to spell disaster for people. I've seen it over and over and over. Hell, I've even struggled with some regain, and I'm old and researched this surgery for well over a year. I'm also a drug and alcohol counselor, so I know the difference between someone who is truly emotionally ready and someone who is not. Not saying the OP isn't, just stating the fact that when you see someone wanting to disregard protocol to get the process done faster, they may have a problem with delaying gratification, and that's a problem with this surgery. It won't choose what you put into your mouth or get your ass off the couch. You still have to diet and exercise and have discipline for the rest of your life. Many think it's magic.

Hello, Good for you. I am going there to an all inclusive as well and there is talks of New Orleans style BBQ and bottles of alcohol daily. I have never really been big on drinking. I do love dessert. However, I have been struggling to keep food down now and I am 3 months out as of yesterday. I have to get an upper and lower go to see why I'm having difficulty. Back to the vacation though, my main concern are my big sagging thighs. I not sure I want to prance around on the beach like this. And I really am looking forward to relaxing on the beach daily.

I just got back from a week away on vacation, my first vacation since having the VSG. We stayed at a beautiful all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic. And like being on a cruise, we were always surrounded by free food and drink. There's a lot I didn't do "right". I never made it to the gym (though I did swim every day and went kayaking once). I did indulge in alcohol, though never to a sloppy excess. And I did visit the dessert buffet on more than one occasion. But I also made an effort to emphasize Protein, and stop when full, and separate eating and drinking. I was constantly struck by how little I eat now -- just a few bites and I was full. I found myself rearranging the food on my plate to make it look like I'd eaten more than I had. Honestly, there was a little regret that I couldn't "enjoy" the meal like I used to: 2-4 courses with 2-4 drinks. Instead it was a taste of this and that and a sip of wine at the end. But beyond that disappointment there was amazement that I could now just walk away from the food still on my plate, that I could skip dessert or an appetizer and not really care. I even dropped a pound or two while I was away. For example, I knew that if I had something like french toast I wouldn't have room for any protein, so I didn't bother with the french toast or at least with no more than a small bite. And after all the dire warnings it was somewhat comforting to find that neither my susceptibility or hankering for alcohol had increased noticeably. But best of all I felt so much less self-conscious poolside. I've passed my half-way point with "just" 40-50 lbs to go, and I'm rediscovering favorite old clothes I'd put away.

That is the absolute right thing to do. Obviously she found some things that you said or filled out on your questionnaire that caused her concern. There is a small but significant portion of people who go through WLS and turn to alcohol instead of food for comfort, so maybe she thought you were a high risk. Then again, maybe she deals with a bunch of alcoholics and has just applied a one size fits all answer to you, which is really sh*tty, but happens. What I would do is get the entire report from her, including what the questionnaire indicated. After that be very honest with yourself regarding what it shows. If you truly disagree afterward, go to someone else for an eval, but still be 100% honest. In the end it will only help you out.

Yesterday I had my psych eval which was the last thing I needed before things got submitted to my insurance company. It took over 3 hours including a super lengthy questionnaire. I had decided that I was going to be 100% honest with the shrink going into this. I just weaned myself off of my ADHD meds and have been struggling with some weight gain and haven't been doing my best when it comes to eating. I expected a tongue lashing over that. What I wasn't expecting was for this woman to tell me that I have substance abuse problems and I have to be clean and sober for a year before surgery. Apparently very occasionally smoking weed (like, a few times a year) makes me an addict. I had told my surgeon, the nutritionist and my primary care physician that I occasionally partake and was never told that I couldn't smoke. If I had been, I would've quit, no problem. Then I admitted that my drinking was out of control as a freshman in college. I told her my mom has been concerned with her own drinking. I still drink, but like a normal 24 year old. I might have a glass of wine or beer with dinner if I'm with friends and usually about once a month I go out on the town for a night. I know my limits, I rarely get drunk. The nutritionist and surgeon both told me that you can't drink for a while before or after surgery. Sure, understandable, no problem. They also said you can occasionally drink after a period of time. I just know that I have to watch myself and limit my alcohol consumption. This woman says I can't drink ever again. I feel like I'm receiving conflicting information. She says I'm currently not a good candidate for surgery. I obviously can't submit her eval to insurance. What do I do??? Do I take 3 months and get on track with my eating and exercise and then do another eval? I feel like another year is very extreme. Maybe this is the kick in the ass I needed, but it's extremely upsetting and frustrating.

The final two weeks prior to surgery and then right after was a major wake-up call to my relationship with food. I probably say this too often, but I honestly look at my relationship with food as an alcoholic would to drink. The surgery was a tool, just like AA can help somebody battle alcohol addiction. Every day I'm going to have to face the world and make the right decisions. In time that will get easier but (for me personally) it will be a continuous battle for the foreseeable future. I have a very addictive personality and I thought my world was going to end when I gave up smoking years ago. There are times when a friend will be smoking and it sounds soooooo good, but I know it's a fleeting feeling and it'll pass. That's where I hope to get with food. Right before surgery I went through the food mourning phase thinking that I'll never be able to eat and eat and eat on holidays like Thanksgiving. After a while of introspection I realized it's that excuse of "I'll only indulge myself on A & B days" that led to adding C & D & E & F days as well. Guess my wake up call was that I couldn't go into surgery with the thought process of how do I get around my sleeve after surgery to cheat every now and then. Again I go back to the alcoholic reference because I can't make an excuse to go to the bar on only special occasions. Deep down I know that's going to open the door to further trips down to the bar. Years ago I was working on a serious drinking problem due to a horrible job. Got out of there and got my crap together but it's a demon I know exists in me. I can control that one well enough and only have a few drinks here and there throughout the year. Just have to get that control on food now too.

Well yesterday morning, the 20th, I was sleeved. My good byes worked on my preop diet. My surgeon said my liver looked beautiful due to lack of sugar. And I lost 17lbs. Now, the hard part will really start because it's realizing there's no going back now. This is my new future. This will be our future....but you know what? We got this. If you had a moment of weakness....do not hate yourself for it. Admit it and move on. Just like alcoholics take it day by day....so do we with our food. IIA sending good vibes to all of you.

I can't even have sugar alcohols or aspartame. Sugar alcohols are bad for my IBS, but even more so, they're poison to me and I found out they caused 75% of my chronic migraines. I went from 18-20 migraine days a month to 4-6 a month and have sustained that for over a year. Fake stuff is terrible for your body!

So good to know. I'm going in an all inclusive vay-cay in May. Pre-surgery I'd drink all day too. It's nice to see someone else can tolerate it. 2 glasses is really good. I was expecting to read 1/2 glass of alcohol. I can't wait! [emoji16] Height: 5'0" Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs. Surgery date: 2/13/17 Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs). Current weight: 180.8 My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

There's also an oral rinse, not listening, but it's smoother and no alcohol. Oral something I think. Call your dentist and ask for the name. It's for dry mouth and not so fresh breath.

Weight loss surgery is a life-changing event, and not something to be undergone lightly. Some weight loss surgery candidates know that weight loss surgery is for them, but many others are unsure whether it is time for them to get weight loss surgery. At best, it can help you lose weight and get your life back. At worst, it can cause complications or make you miss your old way of life. How do you know whether weight loss surgery is for you? Will it be the weight control solution you have been searching for for years? Or will it be a decision you regret? Nobody can answer that for you, but here are some considerations as you think about whether weight loss surgery is for you. The Qualifying Criteria You are not a candidate for bariatric surgery unless you meet certain criteria set by your surgeon or, if applicable, your healthcare coverage plan. The standard criteria are: Body Mass Index (BMI) over 40 or BMI 35 with an obesity-related comorbidity, such as type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, or sleep apnea. Confirmation that your obesity is not caused by an underlying condition that would make weight loss surgery ineffective. A psychological exam to show that you are capable of sticking to the post-op diet and lifestyle changes that are necessary. Previous documented attempts at losing weight with diet and exercise. Ineffectiveness of Previous Efforts Weight loss surgery is a last resort, not a first try at losing weight. It is for patients who have been obese for years and who have tried to lose weight using lifestyle changes, such as a modified diet plan and a formal exercise program. Many weight loss surgery patients try “every diet under the sun” before deciding that it is time for WLS. They may have had trouble losing any weight at all, or may have lost weight initially but been unable to keep it off. Readiness to Change Weight loss surgery is just the beginning. The way you eat after weight loss surgery determines how well you will be able to control your weight for the rest of your life. You need to be ready to change if you want to be successful with weight loss surgery. No longer will you be able to down a pizza or hit the drive-through on a whim. Are you ready to possibly: Give up coffee and regular and diet soda? Cut sugary treats and fried foods, especially with gastric bypass? Pass on the alcoholic offerings at home, parties, and restaurants? Count protein, slash carbs, and measure portions? Addressing Other Issues Weight gain does not always take place in a vacuum, and weight loss does not solve other problems you might have in your life. First, identify why you became overweight in the first place, and what is keeping you from losing the weight. Is weight loss surgery the answer, or do you need to first deal with an abusive relationship or lack of self-confidence, for example? Emotional eating is a common reason for weight gain. If you tend to eat your feelings away, you are best off figuring out other ways to handle your feelings before you get surgery. Can you use walking as a form of therapy? Maybe you can join an in-person or online support group to turn to when you feel sad, lonely, or angry. If your emotional eating is related to a specific problem, such as stress at work, your best bet may be to handle the problem before getting WLS. That could mean finding a healthy coping mechanism, or it could mean getting counseling to help you work through the source of stress. It could even mean finding a new job, as scary as that sounds. Consider Replacement Addictions Replacement addictions are common after weight loss surgery. They happen when you give up food – which can be an addiction – for a different addiction. Instead of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, or companionship, some weight loss surgery patients turn to “replacement addictions” or “cross addictions” They may take up smoking, or start to abuse alcohol. Replacement addictions can also be healthier than eating; some weight loss surgery patients become gym rats or take up gardening, sewing, or other hobbies. As you consider weight-loss surgery, think about the possibility of food addiction being replaced by replacement addictions. What role does food play in your life now? What do you see replacing that emotional or physical role after surgery? The decision to get weight loss surgery requires a lot of soul searching for most candidates. These points can help you work through some of the doubts you may have as you try to decide what is best for yourself.

How do you know whether weight loss surgery is for you? Will it be the weight control solution you have been searching for for years? Or will it be a decision you regret? Nobody can answer that for you, but here are some considerations as you think about whether weight loss surgery is for you. The Qualifying Criteria You are not a candidate for bariatric surgery unless you meet certain criteria set by your surgeon or, if applicable, your healthcare coverage plan. The standard criteria are: Body Mass Index (BMI) over 40 or BMI 35 with an obesity-related comorbidity, such as type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, or sleep apnea. Confirmation that your obesity is not caused by an underlying condition that would make weight loss surgery ineffective. A psychological exam to show that you are capable of sticking to the post-op diet and lifestyle changes that are necessary. Previous documented attempts at losing weight with diet and exercise. Ineffectiveness of Previous Efforts Weight loss surgery is a last resort, not a first try at losing weight. It is for patients who have been obese for years and who have tried to lose weight using lifestyle changes, such as a modified diet plan and a formal exercise program. Many weight loss surgery patients try “every diet under the sun” before deciding that it is time for WLS. They may have had trouble losing any weight at all, or may have lost weight initially but been unable to keep it off. Readiness to Change Weight loss surgery is just the beginning. The way you eat after weight loss surgery determines how well you will be able to control your weight for the rest of your life. You need to be ready to change if you want to be successful with weight loss surgery. No longer will you be able to down a pizza or hit the drive-through on a whim. Are you ready to possibly: Give up coffee and regular and diet soda? Cut sugary treats and fried foods, especially with gastric bypass? Pass on the alcoholic offerings at home, parties, and restaurants? Count protein, slash carbs, and measure portions? Addressing Other Issues Weight gain does not always take place in a vacuum, and weight loss does not solve other problems you might have in your life. First, identify why you became overweight in the first place, and what is keeping you from losing the weight. Is weight loss surgery the answer, or do you need to first deal with an abusive relationship or lack of self-confidence, for example? Emotional eating is a common reason for weight gain. If you tend to eat your feelings away, you are best off figuring out other ways to handle your feelings before you get surgery. Can you use walking as a form of therapy? Maybe you can join an in-person or online support group to turn to when you feel sad, lonely, or angry. If your emotional eating is related to a specific problem, such as stress at work, your best bet may be to handle the problem before getting WLS. That could mean finding a healthy coping mechanism, or it could mean getting counseling to help you work through the source of stress. It could even mean finding a new job, as scary as that sounds. Consider Replacement Addictions Replacement addictions are common after weight loss surgery. They happen when you give up food – which can be an addiction – for a different addiction. Instead of turning to food for comfort, entertainment, or companionship, some weight loss surgery patients turn to “replacement addictions” or “cross addictions” They may take up smoking, or start to abuse alcohol. Replacement addictions can also be healthier than eating; some weight loss surgery patients become gym rats or take up gardening, sewing, or other hobbies. As you consider weight-loss surgery, think about the possibility of food addiction being replaced by replacement addictions. What role does food play in your life now? What do you see replacing that emotional or physical role after surgery? The decision to get weight loss surgery requires a lot of soul searching for most candidates. These points can help you work through some of the doubts you may have as you try to decide what is best for yourself.

I'm currently on vacation in Germany (so good for the diet!😒) and I'm very happy with myself for not giving in to any of the free chocolate, candies, or alcohol that has been offered to me while I was here. Yesterday I had to sit in three different chairs with arms, and could fit into all of them! I haven't been able to weigh myself, but things like that make me happy as I know things are progressing as they should.

Me too! I was starting to get worried, thinking it was only me. I can't think of anything I enjoy eating now, trouble is my mind thinks I will and then when I taste it nothing happens! Lol. I am pleased really as my enjoyment of food and eating out got me needing help! I just miss the socialising...at the moment meeting up with friends etc is often challenging and overwhelming as it often consists of food and alcohol and they don't know I've had the bypass [emoji33]

Alcohol is not that important. Waiting is.

I meant 8 weeks altogether. 2-weeks pre-op liquid diet, 4-weeks liquid only post-op, 1 week on week 5 post op puree, & now soft foods week 6 post op tomorrow for 1 week. After writing this post, I realize I'm so stressed out with work & school. I wonder if it's an emotional issue not related to the sleeve. Before the sleeve food was my comfort for stress. I like your analogy about almost being like a recovering alcoholic, it could be that too. Since the hunger hormone (gherlin) is removed, I thought this would stop. Height: 5'0" Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs. Surgery date: 2/13/17 Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs). Current weight: 185.2 My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

I gave up alcohol before surgery. I had the occasional mimosa with brunch because I am civilized. I had communion at 2 weeks, not thinking. It burned really bad. And communion wine is watered down. I imagine real alcohol would burn like hell. It is your birthday do whatever you want, you are an adult, but you have been warned, it might really hurt. I'm not even going to bother with empty calories and all of that, because it doesn't even matter.

I abstained from alcohol throughout the duration of my six month pre-op diet program and the first 3 months post-op. And, even now (5.5 months post-op), it is an every now and then thing, and I adjust my eating on those days to still meet my protein goals while keeping calories and my 20 carbs aside for the alcohol. (So basically on those days, I eat 4 oz of plain grilled chicken 4 times. 480 calories, 96 g of protein, 0 carbs. This opens up about 600 calories and 20 grams of carbs for the drinks.) My team told me at the 3 month mark that it wouldn't hurt me, which is why I brought back at all. But it is not a regular thing. I'd rather have food with my calories and carbs than booze, but on special occasions, I can accommodate it. Good luck!

My doctor said no alcohol for a year

Today is my birthday and I'm 4wks post op and wanna know how soon did any sleeves start drinking?? But remember I'm really don't drink like that only on occasions.. Help pls

I think it's always going to be a battle to an extent, but with time it will get better. I seriously consider this to be similar to recovering from alcoholism. I can beat my food issues, but chances are it's going to be a battle for the rest of my life. Although a lot of food thoughts went away once I was back to eating regular foods I'm finding myself having to push off some old habits wanting to return. For instance as soon as I get home from work I think I need to eat something although I really don't need to. I've also been annoyed this week at doing so much meal prep work. That's all tied in with my scale barely moving in the past two weeks. My head says the hell with it and have a few cheat foods, but I can't do it. Been through too much in this short period of time to give up to old habits. Can I ask if your plan is special/unique to your situation? The reason I ask is because most people, myself included, start the pureed stage after 2 weeks. Eight weeks seems a hell of a long time to just now be getting there.

About 10 weeks post I had a glass of wine then 2 weeks later I went on an all inclusive vacation and yes I had a drink daily but I can say if I hadn't had the surgery I would have drank all day / everyday at the pool and several more into the night so I guess although I wish I hadn't had any, I find having had one or 2 drinks per day a victory in comparison to pre surgery and I haven't had any alcohol since back home and I used to have wine pretty much daily!

Just don't tell anyone. Your medical business is private and you owe nobody an explanation. Especially if you're getting the sleeve. Other than my Dr, there are 3 people that know I had surgery. With the sleeve you lose slower, I averaged 2 lbs a week. So I made sure I was working out, everyone saw me at the gym everyday, they saw me passing on alcohol and snacks. I started following the post op diet months before my procedure so I told everyone I was trying to make a change and eat healthier and asked for their support in that. I even said I'm gonna avoid eating out for a few months to see if it helps. Then I just had to "be busy" for a few weeks while I recovered. If ever questioned I honestly answer this was a long gradual road nothing happened overnight. I earned every pound. All true. This is your journey do it on your terms. And if that means keeping your HIPPA protected medical information private, that's your prerogative too. Best wishes whatever you decide is best for you.