Search the Community

Hi there, New to this forum but don't feel like I have any other place to go. I just want to emphasize that this post and forum is a judgement free, genuine place for like minded people I really don't want a lecture about how I am "poisoning" my body or going to all this effort to "ruin it." Whilst I respect these types of opinions, I don't need them here as I want to know if there are like-minded individuals out there who are willing to share their experience. I guess this is me more asking questions and wanting advice than telling my story so I'm not really sure where to start... Firstly, I've been smoking marijuana for about 6 years, it's beneficial for me as it calms me (suffering from depression), keeps me creative and helps keep my binge eating under control (I know, contrary to poplar belief but everyone is different and that's okay.) Being in a country (Aus) where marijuana is illegal and also having a surgeon who is close with your family makes it very difficult for me to talk about this to them as most doctors, nurses and surgeons will give you the classic spiel of just not smoking, which is fair. Anyway, I'm saying all this because I want to know how long I should be waiting before I start smoking again? I was thinking around 6 weeks post as I should be healed up by then but wondered if anyone has had experience with this? I just want to clarify. I don't drink alcohol and don't plan on drinking again after surgery and have never touched tobacco/cigarettes in my life however, being a millennial who likes to go out with her friends, I do enjoy experimenting every now and then with more "harder" recreational drugs however, that I don't plan on doing at least 6-12 months after surgery. So, after this massive basically I want to hear your stories, all my stoner friends out there (medicinal or recreational) let me know, how long you waited, if you noticed anything different and if your relationship with food was effected + any other experiences you may have. Again, I want to emphasize that this is a safe, judgment free zone and please refrain from commenting if you disagree with any part of this post and my lifestyle choices. Thanks!

Hey kasemcd 😊 I'm 25, I had my gastric sleeve on 6th April 2017 so about 10 weeks post op. Stomach restriction definitely working in full gear but as for liquids they go down pretty easy. I have tickets to a bunch of festivals over this summer so I'm sure I'll be drinking alcohol, shpuld be fine - I did hear from others that apparently you get drunker on less alcohol. Something to do with our bodies absorbing the alcohol into the bloodstream quicker than normal folk. As for liquid diet it'll get quite easy after the first couple days. I only cracked twice when visiting my mum on Sundays and ate pasta/rice. Still managed to lose 16lbs during that 2 week period amd it didn't cause any issues with the op. If you do fall off the liquid diet wagon just make sure that its further away from your op date than closer to it. Anyways, hope that somewhat answered your question - wishing you the best of luck with your op 🤗

my snacks are usually something like a protein shake or a Dannon Light & Fit Greek yogurt. Occasionally I'll have some baby carrots with about 1/4 C hummus (raw vegetables can be hard on my stomach, even two years out, but because they can be irritating, it stops me from eating too much. Hey - whatever works!). At night I'll sometimes have a couple of sugar free popsicles. Like raw vegetables, the sugar alcohols in sugar free popsicles bother my stomach, so all I can handle is two of them. I also eat Light & Fit yogurt occasionally at night, too, especially if I'm craving ice cream. The creaminess/sweetness/dairy aspect of the yogurt hit the same spot as ice cream would. I also drink *a lot* of fluid (usually Crystal Light) - which helps sometimes, but I know sometimes you just have to have real food...

The amount of sugar will probably vary by patient. I strictly avoid processed sugars. I have a sweet tooth and that is one of the major causes that contributed to my weight gain over my lifetime. I limit myself to artificial sweeteners (such as Splenda and sugar alcohols), to natural low calorie sweeteners (such as Stevia) and to the natural sugars found in fruits and milk. I had diabetes. That went into remission when I left the hospital two days after surgery and I have not taken any diabetic medicine ever since and my blood sugar levels are good. I test my blood sugar levels periodically. I read the labels of all food that I consume. I look at the grams of sugar per serving. If it is above 5 grams, I look at the ingredients. The ingredients are listed in order by highest percentage, and if the first 5 ingredients contain processed sugar (in any of its many forms), then I avoid this food, like a plague.

This is one of the biggest side effects with getting the sleeve. What time do you take your pill? Maybe take it at night , besides switching your meds until you find something that works for you, your likely stuck with it. If you eat the heavy triggers like, coffee, alcohol , or certain spices, you can try not consuming. To see if it helps , Or try omitting certain foods that you normally eat. Peanut butter gives my husband heartburn and bananas for me. My doctor said to stay on an acid reducer/stomach protector for 6 months minimum post. I don't have it bad, just slight.

Unfortunately my therapist told me that she doesn't think I'm ready due to me having one emotional eating day. She recommended I return for two visits in July and two in August. I'm so upset that I cried in my car for over an hour also I'm totally depressed after seeing her. I have waited for six months with one visit per month at the weight loss clinic. I Had all my testing done,quit smoking,quit drinking alcohol totally,gave up soda. Everything I was told to do and now I feel like giving up . The six visits over six months and 2 therapy visits is part of insurance requirements before approval. I planned everything for a reason because I'm almost finished with my internship and I'm about to start a new job so if I wait two additional months it will totally screw up my schedule. I don't want to start a new job and have to take time off for surgery before my 90 days is up.I wish I wouldn't have shared anything with the therapist because she has no clue on how much I changed my eating habits from a year ago and I don't overeat to the point of stomach pain any more. I know that surgery is one of the tools that I need to continue my journey. Right now I'm just miserable in my body ,depressed and I feel like giving up on this whole thing because next it will be another excuse why I can't get surgery😒☹️ Signed , Over it

I've lost a good bit by now (84lbs with 39 to go) my belly button isn't getting any air and it's gross and smelly and wet. Sooo gross. I've tried lotrimin spray and alcohol to clean it but it's still gross. Any advise on how to deal with this? Also when do you start thinking about plastic surgery. Again I still have a ways to go but I'm already seeing belly button issues and thinking I need to wrap my head around another surgery. And also what's the chance I get my insurance company to pay for it? Band to sleeve revision surgery 1/16/17 HW: 283 CW: 199 GW: 160

I don't want to frighten you, but I had severe nausea and violent wretching from the moment I woke up from surgery. I had a scopalamine patch, compazine IV, zofran IV, tigan injections, and I was inhaling alcohol prep pads that were held up to my nose - believe it or not, they actually helped some. I was taking all of my nausea medications as soon as they were available and the nurses did an outstanding job of watching over me and reminding me as soon as I could take my next med. I couldn't eat or drink at all my first night. Compazine and tigan helped me the most. The good news is that as the days passed it gradually got better. When I was discharged, I had some lingering nausea when I woke up in the morning that I took zofran for. I'm a little over 2 weeks out now and don't need nausea meds at all. My experience is really an outlier here. Most of the stories I've read here have been very mild, but everyone reacts to surgery and anesthesia differently.

I was told to do essentially Atkins (lean protein and steamed vegetables) but without any of the crap Atkins fillers (bars/shakes) . That starts today for just shy of 2 weeks, then 2 weeks of the Vitaleph diet. The nutritionist said I need to go from 295lbs to 280lbs by July 6th (current BMI of 44), and zero alcohol from now until then. I'm going to miss a relaxing after work beer with the fiance. For Canadians mostly - On the Vitaleph website its about $360 total for the pre-op and post-op Vitaleph, with $35 shipping. It ended up being about $500.00 to get it to me in Calgary.... but I figured what's the point of a $10,000 surgery if I don't bother to take full advantage and make it all worth it, plus I might appreciate a chocolate shake to break up all the chicken broth lol blah blah blah sorry for the long post 28 Days to go..I'm so happy I'm almost giddy like a child

Wow. Same here. 3 months post op, planned Caribbean vacation before surgery. I just came back from vacation a week ago. When I was there I could only drink one serving of alcohol &, I'll admit, I didn't restrict my food since I was on vacation. I ate some carbs & dessert. But since I ate so little & did a lot of activity, I came back home & see I lost 2 lbs. It so awesome to go on vacation & still lose weight. Height: 5'0" Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs. Surgery date: 2/13/17 Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs). Current weight: 158.4 lbs My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

I don't see anything wrong with any of them, either. If this was an audience of healthy teenagers in a wellness course, I'd definitely see it included in the curriculum. If this was an audience of adults at a healthy weight and who had a healthy relationship with food, I'd say it is awesome. But for an audience of morbidly obese people, formerly morbidly obese people, people with unhealthy relationships with food, food addicts, people struggling with their weight, etc., etc., etc., it leaves too much room to open up a Pandora's box of issues. Think about Miss I Ate A Whole Pizza (how did I do that), Miss Chicken Fingers and Fries During the Pre-Op Diet, Mr. Peeps and Filet Mignon, Miss Ice Cream During the First Week Post-Op, Mr. Swedish Fish, Miss Milkshake and Mashed Potatoes. This isn't going to be a good thing for them. It's like offering a mimosa to an alcoholic. It looks harmless enough, but 2 hours later, there will be lampshades on the head, screaming and yelling, and almost a guarantee of a blackout.

My thinking when I read this post was it should be in a maintenance forum or should come with a big warning that it is not for those just starting out and in the losing phase of their journey. Many are still learning to conquer their food demons or unhealthy habits. I didn't mean any disrespect to the OP and I am happy she has found a way to maintain her weight. My logical brain just can't see how this type of thinking will work for the majority of people that have just had or will have WLS. I know not everyone is a food addict, but many are, and I would say most of us had unhealthy eating habits at the very least. I am a newbie when it comes to what it takes to be successful, but I have seen what addiction can do to people. An alcoholic can never have another drink or they will relapse, and I think many sugar and carb addicts might have a problem with this way of eating. I have read some articles and first hand accounts that say some foods should never come back into your diet if they trigger you or are gateway drugs so to speak. I haven't always been obese. I used to be able to eat anything and I never gained weight. I was skinny as a rail. But my body changed when I turned 40, my thyroid took a dive, and I obviously didn't change my eating habits to reflect this. As our bodies change we have to adjust and realize what worked when we were 20 or 30 might not work when we are 40. I doubt I will ever be able to eat like that again and I don't think that is a bad thing, it is just a new normal. I think we all need to figure out the best path to success and that will likely be different for each individual. I am still trying to figure out which path is going to work for me, but I don't think I can risk my health to my intuition, at least not at this point.

I made it to onderland [emoji1373][emoji1437]but because I haven't been weighing regularly I don't know when it happened. I am beyond excited. Been over 16 years since I was in onderland. I am so grateful and thankful for this decision to make myself healthy and fit. My relationship with food is so much healthier now. I don't obsess about anything I consume. If I do eat a carb mainly as dessert I don't beat myself because I know I make good food choices 90 percent of the time. I am proud of myself and how far I have come. Just like everyone else I get my fair share of not so favorable days in life but I don't seek comfort from foods or alcohol like old me would have. It is my choice to make me and keep me healthy. Please be kind to you because you are very special and don't give up.

Yes I have dumping but my surgery was more complicated than most. It's rare to have it with the sleeve. I get it and it sucks so bad. But it's getting better. I've been eating Intuitively for about a year now with some small relapses back into dieting and that mindset but not for more than a day or so. The last 3 months I've REALLY let go and stopped weighing myself EVER, stopped even considering what I eat. I eat so much, always listening to my body and it's cravings. I eat all kinds of foods from fresh to processed and savory to sweet. I eat carbs all the time. I love desserts. I drink alcohol. I enjoy whatever I want. I've not been actively dieting for a year at least but now I've really, really let go of the fear and I'm continuing to make progress. I don't worry about wether I'm eating too much, grazing, eating something fattening. I have really just LET GO. I eat when I'm hungry and when I'm full I stop. Honestly I just don't even think about it. I follow my bodies cravings. I have gained no weight. I'm exactly the same. If anything, I've lost. I don't know. I don't care. I don't weigh myself. BUT my clothes all still fit perfectly. But who cares anyway. My life is finally where I want it to be and I am free. I will never ever go back to dieting. I truly believe Intuitive Eating will keep me healthy for the rest of my life. Picture of me and my daughter a few days ago.

@bacon thank you for the thoughtful responses. Being scared of going back is real. Trying to decide whether or not to have the band removed would scare the stew out of me. Like you, I need the tool. Have you consulted with a new bariatric doc? Sounds like you're back to basics...watching what you eat and how you eat, plenty of fluids, and exercise. That's super!! Are you still on the road? @2babutterfly I am so thankful to hear from you and so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I have had surgery with my band. I did not have to have any fluid out, but stayed on liquids for a few days after surgery until I felt like my guts had settled back down. Anesthesia and pain meds mess with my stomach feeling yucky, so I let that pass before I threw food into the mix. I really didn't have any issues. Go with your gut (ha ha, literally) and do what's right for you. I will keep you in my prayers, both for calm during the storm and for healing. After a few months of total binge, I came clean and got back to basics. I put it all out there - to myself, to God, and to my husband. It wasn't a nice process, but I had to admit and say out loud that I am a binge eater. Eating, for me, has to be a lot like alcohol to the alcoholic. I have opened it up to my dietician coach as well. (I think I shared this with you guys a while back.) With the support of my husband and coach, we continue to focus on one positive healthy choice I make each day, take one day at a time as far as eating, and do what I can to stay motivated and busy. I've increased our coaching calls to monthly rather than every six weeks and the frequency is helping. I am proposing kayaking, walking, and hiking with friends and family rather than sitting at a local restaurant or coffee shop. I've recently joined a weight loss challenge and stand to win $1000 if I have the highest percentage of weight loss. So far, I'm hanging in the top 10 out of 45 women. Even if I don't win the pot, I figure it is good motivation to keep me on track for the 20 weeks. We are only a month in and I'm down 10, so I am feeling successful. The biggest step I'm taking is finding a new lap band doc. The current one offers no support group, no weigh-ins, and has done nothing to promote weight loss. I think it's especially true for me since he didn't place my band. As a result, I have found a bariatric center about 30 minutes from me and have begun the process of establishing as a patient. I will attend my first support group meeting next week and am really looking forward to interacting with other banders. Since moving to Tennessee three years ago, I've felt so alone in this band journey and hope that's soon coming to an end. So, there you go....that's where I am. Sorry for the length of my post, guess I needed to put it all out there. You guys are the only ones that truly get it. I'm so thankful to hear from each of you.

My nutritionist told us that alcohol hits you alot harder after surgery. Sent from my SM-N920T using BariatricPal mobile app

Hi y'all, I'm seven weeks out on this rollercoaster. Its had its highs and its lows! I wanted to share some of my personal experiences so far, in case it is of help to anyone. To start off: I'm around 50% of the way to goal after 7 weeks and numerous inches lost. Which is amazing! But please bear in mind that I was a low BMI patient so I expect to lose slowly as I'm starting off nearer goal than many. I hope that I can make goal, but I know it will be hard work! It has been hard work so far! Sometimes I kinda miss eating whatever I want all the time, but my overarching emotion is RELIEF that I am freed from the tyranny of overeating and feeling like I need huge portions to be satisfied. The first month out was tough. While in the hospital, I did experience some pain from the surgical gas, and nausea. But it passed. I walked as much as possible. Best advice anyone gave me in the hospital? In those very early days, "don't trust a fart!". Lol, but she was right. Just putting it out there Once out of the hospital, my incisions (internal an external) did hurt for almost a month - an abdominal binder was a lifesaver. I had a wrap around one for sleeping and a corset like one for under clothes. It hurt to cough, sneeze or laugh. But now they do not hurt any more! Many others (those who have had c-sections for example) didn't find the incision pain that bad, clearly they are more hardcore than me 😉 Days 5-10 after surgery were the worst. I was 'hungry' and sick of broth, jealous of others food. I was still a little in pain and liquid tylenol made me sick. I was mad grouchy and tired from lack of calories. I didn't do much expect sleep and walk a little. I was back at work but working from home. Don't think I was at my most productive 😉 I worked from home for about 2 weeks after surgery, and felt like I needed it. I also experienced some back pain which I think is muscles shifting from weight loss. It feels better now my body is catching up with my weight loss. I didn't feel any restriction really until I was on solid foods. I was worried about it! And now I feel that restriction with a vengeance! I still get hungry. I feel like I am hungry every 2.5 hours! So I eat pretty regularly. Until recently I was eating a lot of 'protein products' like the protein pudding and Veg Chili from bariatric pal but felt I should move on to more dense solids to help me be more satisfied. As per the instructions of my surgeon, I moved onto solids around day 30. Initially, I had to struggle to eat 800 calories. The NUT said she wanted me on 1000 calories by 5 weeks. Now more appetite has kicked in - I could probably eat this relatively easily depending on what food I choose!! And thats a bit scary. So I am being extremely diligent in weighing all my portions and counting calories on MFP. This surgery does not release you from that! Well, for me anyway. I am scared about being on 1000 calories as it has slowed my weight loss down, but I want to be healthy and not screw up my metabolism, so I do what I can to eat a balanced diet at 900- 1000 calories and drink plenty of water. I havent been exercising more than walking to date, but now that I feel healed and am on higher calories, I will kick it into gear with strength training to tone. Stalls are a thing. Also I've seen the scale go up. It has gone back down again afterwards, so I try not to be too shocked by that and do not let that discourage me. I don't know the solution for stalls, but Im trying tweaking calories, water and exercise to see about kicking myself out the stall. I have experienced some acid reflux, which I never had before. Which is a bit of a bummer. I get it to varying degrees after I eat and sometimes when I drink. Should I go to the doctor for this? Tums and Gaviscon don't seem to do much. I have read that acid can make you think you are hungry, and I wonder if thats whats causing my 'hollow' feelings at the moment...? I got to around 1350 calories the other day thanks to some cheese and a cupcake. Most calories I have eaten in a LONG while. First sugar I have had since pre-surgery. I was annoyed with myself, but it isn't the end of the world. It could be that, time of the month, or I am just a damn hungry person!! Given these hungry feelings I do have to employ my willpower not to graze constantly. One method of doing this is drinking water. So you aren't allowed to drink and eat at the same time. I've found that hard!! Its like a Pavlovian response for me...I am preparing a meal, and I get thirsty. I am super thirsty after I finish the meal, but know I have to wait an hour to drink. (Sometimes I cheat and have a sugar free ice pop after eating as it staves off the thirst). But I make a conscious effort to drink between meals. So when that 'hungry' feeling comes, I go first to drinking water before I snack. That then prohibits me from snacking for an hour!! My eyes are bigger than my belly. Literally. I have recently been invited over to friends houses for dinner and didnt weigh my portion like I usually do. I also introduced some new foods which I hadnt tried yet - sweetcorn and broccoli. I must have eaten too quickly because DAMN i felt soooo uncomfortable for at least 2 hours afterwards, like I had swallowed a bowling ball. I got the crazy hiccups and was bringing up tons of foam and saliva. It was not pleasant. This has happened a few times since I've been on solids. Obviously I need to work harder at slowing down my eating which was always a problem for me pre-surgery too. Mentally I'm feeling pretty good. I am happy with the weight I have lost so far and already feel soooo much more confident. I don't hide from pictures or shy away from meeting new people. I havent been drinking alcohol yet so probably get a bit more bored when socializing, but the results make it worthwhile. So this is my experience so far. Wish me luck for getting the next 50% of my weight off! I have a feeling its going to be slow going. But as long as its going, its good! Critique my meal plan! (this is mostly what I eat, with variations...sometimes I'll have 1oz ezekiel cereal and milk for breakfast, sometimes a bit of fruit...dependent on whats around. Some days I can eat all of this and some days, bits will be left from each meal) Breakfast at home 7am 1/2 premier protein shake At work 9am 1 whole egg 2oz low fat cottage cheese Snack 11am 2oz deli turkey wafer 1x 2% cheese stick Lunch 1pm 2.5 - 3 oz Salmon/fish fillet (have been eating bariatric pal veg chilli entree for the last few weeks but trying to move off that) 1oz Green beans Snack 4pm 2.7oz tuna 1oz avocado / 1oz light cottage cheese / 1oz light cream cheese After work 6pm 1/2 premier protein shake Dinner 8pm 2.5-3oz chicken 1oz Spinach MAYBE 1oz beans sometimes or 1oz roasted sweet potato Snack 9/ 10pm 1x 4oz greek yogurt maybe 1x sugar free popsicle Drinking: 64oz calorie free liquids: water, herbal (caffine free) tea eg mint, arnica, chamomile, crystal light Exercise: 40 mins walking a day

I am 2.5 years post op and drink dry red or white wine, a glass or two on the weekends. I didn't touch alcohol at all until 8 months post op, and I didn't drink it regularly at all until I was 10 lbs below goal and had been maintaining for 6 months. Just watch yourself and know that your tolerance will be much lower than before. Also, I highly encourage you to be very aware of transfer addiction - MANY bariatric patients transform their food addictions into alcohol addictions.

If the sadness and other symptoms of depression is long lasting, intense, or interferes with daily life (work, relationships, self care), you owe it to yourself to see a professional for an assessment. Think about it this way: if you were feeling bodily pain of the same duration and intensity, would you get it checked out? If so, then treat mental pain the same way. One thing I've thought of is what happens to people who use alcohol or drugs to cope (whether they have an addiction or not) and then stop using. The very lack of a major coping tool that was effective for sadness and anxiety (regardless that this was a tool that hurt in the big picture, it can be pretty dang effective for a while) can uncover existing mood problems or simply make every day stresses much harder to cope with until the person forms other coping methods. I think most people in cultures with abundant food use food to cope with stress, sadness, anxiety, etc and those morbidly obese probably more often or intensely than average. Learning new coping methods is a fairly easy problem to solve. Recovering from a mood disorder is usually a bit more difficult but depression is a very treatable problem through therapy and/ or medication.

This week I started a weekly Wednesday night Facebook Live series called Food Addiction: FAIR and FIRM. During the program, I commented that when I was told, “Connie, you’re an addict,” after the initial shock wore off, I felt a tremendous sense of relief. For the first time in my life, certain things made sense to me. Let me speak to the shock part first. Yes, I drank - a lot – in college. So did everyone else I knew. So did everyone in my family. In fact, most of the people in my family drank a whole lot more than I ever did! After I got married, I quit drinking on a regular basis. When I did drink after that, I usually drank to get drunk – true. It’s also true that I drank less after I got married because I started taking codeine – very rarely, at first – for bad migraine headaches. Over time, however, I took it daily because codeine helped me to not feel. Anything. At most, I took maybe three in a day. I thought addicts took lots and lots of pills! So when I was given the alcohol and drug addiction screening, I was certain I wouldn’t meet any criteria for alcoholic, and most definitely not for drug addict. Well, I got one heck of a case of the “Yeah buts…” in a hurry when the therapist said, after scoring my test, “Connie – you’re an alcoholic and a drug addict.” As she talked to me about the items that indicated addiction on the test, every one of my responses to her started with, “Yeah, but…” For example, “Yeah, but I could have answered that question either way.” “Yeah, but I don’t drink nearly as much as most of the people I know, especially the people in my family.” “Yeah, but, drug addicts take a lot of pills throughout the day.” “Yeah, but I was able to take care of my kids and work and go to school.” “Yeah, but I’ve never been in trouble with the law.” When I had exhausted all the “Yeah, buts” I could think of, imagine or create, I got quiet and let it sink in. I am an addict. And then I felt it. Relief. It made sense. What made sense to me about my being an addict is understanding, for the first time, the reasons I continued to do things that went against my own values. I started to understand the reasons I did things I said I would never do. It began to make sense that things I promised I would stop doing seemed impossible to stop doing. I am an addict. I have a disease that “hijacks” the brain. When I am in active addiction of any kind: the disease of addiction that affects my brain doesn’t allow me to listen to reason but stays locked in denial mode the disease of addiction that affects my emotions keeps me in a protective mode so I defend myself by blaming other people and things for my behavior the disease of addiction that affects my spiritual self says, “do what feels good in the moment” and hides the part of me that says, “what I value is good and decent” the disease of addiction that affects my social self, brings out the loud, obnoxious, hurtful voice I am capable of using the disease of obesity that affects my physical being takes dangerous risks, eats poorly, doesn’t exercise and doesn’t care Accepting the truth that I am an addict was a relief. NOT AN EXCUSE. I understood my poor choices better. It made sense that it was so difficult for me to follow through with the convictions I made to myself and the promises I made to others. I began to understand why my behaviors went against the person I wanted to be. Addiction is a brain sickness and a soul sickness. And a protector. All at the same time. Food, alcohol, shopping, pain medication, and other things I engaged in addictively protected me from my feelings. That is what I wanted most of all. To not feel. I didn’t want to feel the reality of my sadness, my anger, my pain and my shame. The trade-off for not feeling was to use addictive substances/behaviors and betray myself by doing things I was embarrassed about, ashamed of, and seemingly unable to control. Being an addict was in no way an excuse for the behaviors I engaged in. It’s very uncool to use being an addict as a way to avoid taking responsibility. “I danced with the boss’s husband at the holiday party. What can say – I was drunk.” NOT COOL. “I told her off but she had it coming and besides – I was drunk and couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” NOT COOL. For food addicts, it is similarly bogus to make excuses for overeating because the kids were acting up, you were late for work and got yelled at, your mother was sick, or your spouse ticked you off. Each one of us is 100% responsible for our behavior – even if we have addictions. If we have an addiction, once we realize that truth, we are responsible for getting help and learning healthy ways to deal whatever life brings us. We are responsible for learning to deal with our feelings in appropriate ways. We are responsible for learning to work through losses, past abuse or neglect, present hardships, frustrations with family and friends, and all of life’s realities. Without the use of addictive chemicals or actions. The addictive substance or behavior, whatever it is, isn’t the problem. Sure, alcohol is a problem for alcoholics. Certain foods are problems for food addicts. Shopping is a problem for shopaholics. But those are only the surface problems. Addictive substances and behaviors are symptoms of the real problems, which are almost always rooted in shame: “I’m not good enough.” That shame stems from many possible places. To treat addictions, we must first remove the substance or behavior. No, one cannot eliminate food from their life. But they can eliminate the food(s) that cause them problems. Once we are free of chemicals or the addictive behaviors, we can work on the real problems and choose who we want to be. When we don’t “use,” our actions can reflect our values. “Connie – you’re an addict.” WHAT A RELIEF! I understood why I couldn’t STOP doing things I didn’t really want to do. I finally knew there was hope. I knew I could learn to live life in healthy ways and according to my values. But I first had to be willing to live without the addictive chemicals and behaviors. So I needed help. I couldn’t do it alone. And I didn’t have to. Together, we can support one another into a life of RECOVERY. What a relief!

Let me speak to the shock part first. Yes, I drank - a lot – in college. So did everyone else I knew. So did everyone in my family. In fact, most of the people in my family drank a whole lot more than I ever did! After I got married, I quit drinking on a regular basis. When I did drink after that, I usually drank to get drunk – true. It’s also true that I drank less after I got married because I started taking codeine – very rarely, at first – for bad migraine headaches. Over time, however, I took it daily because codeine helped me to not feel. Anything. At most, I took maybe three in a day. I thought addicts took lots and lots of pills! So when I was given the alcohol and drug addiction screening, I was certain I wouldn’t meet any criteria for alcoholic, and most definitely not for drug addict. Well, I got one heck of a case of the “Yeah buts…” in a hurry when the therapist said, after scoring my test, “Connie – you’re an alcoholic and a drug addict.” As she talked to me about the items that indicated addiction on the test, every one of my responses to her started with, “Yeah, but…” For example, “Yeah, but I could have answered that question either way.” “Yeah, but I don’t drink nearly as much as most of the people I know, especially the people in my family.” “Yeah, but, drug addicts take a lot of pills throughout the day.” “Yeah, but I was able to take care of my kids and work and go to school.” “Yeah, but I’ve never been in trouble with the law.” When I had exhausted all the “Yeah, buts” I could think of, imagine or create, I got quiet and let it sink in. I am an addict. And then I felt it. Relief. It made sense. What made sense to me about my being an addict is understanding, for the first time, the reasons I continued to do things that went against my own values. I started to understand the reasons I did things I said I would never do. It began to make sense that things I promised I would stop doing seemed impossible to stop doing. I am an addict. I have a disease that “hijacks” the brain. When I am in active addiction of any kind: the disease of addiction that affects my brain doesn’t allow me to listen to reason but stays locked in denial mode the disease of addiction that affects my emotions keeps me in a protective mode so I defend myself by blaming other people and things for my behavior the disease of addiction that affects my spiritual self says, “do what feels good in the moment” and hides the part of me that says, “what I value is good and decent” the disease of addiction that affects my social self, brings out the loud, obnoxious, hurtful voice I am capable of using the disease of obesity that affects my physical being takes dangerous risks, eats poorly, doesn’t exercise and doesn’t care Accepting the truth that I am an addict was a relief. NOT AN EXCUSE. I understood my poor choices better. It made sense that it was so difficult for me to follow through with the convictions I made to myself and the promises I made to others. I began to understand why my behaviors went against the person I wanted to be. Addiction is a brain sickness and a soul sickness. And a protector. All at the same time. Food, alcohol, shopping, pain medication, and other things I engaged in addictively protected me from my feelings. That is what I wanted most of all. To not feel. I didn’t want to feel the reality of my sadness, my anger, my pain and my shame. The trade-off for not feeling was to use addictive substances/behaviors and betray myself by doing things I was embarrassed about, ashamed of, and seemingly unable to control. Being an addict was in no way an excuse for the behaviors I engaged in. It’s very uncool to use being an addict as a way to avoid taking responsibility. “I danced with the boss’s husband at the holiday party. What can say – I was drunk.” NOT COOL. “I told her off but she had it coming and besides – I was drunk and couldn’t keep my mouth shut.” NOT COOL. For food addicts, it is similarly bogus to make excuses for overeating because the kids were acting up, you were late for work and got yelled at, your mother was sick, or your spouse ticked you off. Each one of us is 100% responsible for our behavior – even if we have addictions. If we have an addiction, once we realize that truth, we are responsible for getting help and learning healthy ways to deal whatever life brings us. We are responsible for learning to deal with our feelings in appropriate ways. We are responsible for learning to work through losses, past abuse or neglect, present hardships, frustrations with family and friends, and all of life’s realities. Without the use of addictive chemicals or actions. The addictive substance or behavior, whatever it is, isn’t the problem. Sure, alcohol is a problem for alcoholics. Certain foods are problems for food addicts. Shopping is a problem for shopaholics. But those are only the surface problems. Addictive substances and behaviors are symptoms of the real problems, which are almost always rooted in shame: “I’m not good enough.” That shame stems from many possible places. To treat addictions, we must first remove the substance or behavior. No, one cannot eliminate food from their life. But they can eliminate the food(s) that cause them problems. Once we are free of chemicals or the addictive behaviors, we can work on the real problems and choose who we want to be. When we don’t “use,” our actions can reflect our values. “Connie – you’re an addict.” WHAT A RELIEF! I understood why I couldn’t STOP doing things I didn’t really want to do. I finally knew there was hope. I knew I could learn to live life in healthy ways and according to my values. But I first had to be willing to live without the addictive chemicals and behaviors. So I needed help. I couldn’t do it alone. And I didn’t have to. Together, we can support one another into a life of RECOVERY. What a relief!

You could always toast with something non alcoholic. I'd be afraid to take the chance. Sent from my SM-N920T using BariatricPal mobile app

I am 2 weeks postop gastRic sleeve.. I'm currently on a soft diet.. my post op md said to hold off on drinking until my goal weight.. which is probably gonna be about 6 months or more. So realistically when did anyone have a glass of wine or alcohol one drink after their sleeve. I know not have any mixed drinks or sugar loaded margaritas