Search the Community

@@samcat681 Yay! Good for you! The Wedding Ring NSV is a good one.

The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life. The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc? The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the Food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!” My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery. The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation? The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing. Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?” The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day. The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life. The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you? ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

The Doc: “What made you decide to have Weight Loss Surgery at this particular time in your life?” I ask every patient I see for a pre-surgical psychological evaluation. The responses to this question nearly always revolve around health. “I want to get off so many medications.” “I need to get rid of this diabetes.” “I want to be healthy enough to see my children/grandkids grow up.” “I want to be able to do things I can’t now because of my weight.” “I want to be healthy enough to walk/go places with my family/ride amusement park rides/not have to use a seat belt extender on an airplane.” The vast majority of the time, when people make the decision to have weight loss surgery, their health has become an issue that interferes in their quality of life. Sure, some people are interested in the benefits of being able to wear smaller clothing, many are interested in being less discriminated against, and most are enthusiastic about seeing the scale show a much lower number. It is safe, however, from my experience of having completed over 3000 pre-surgical evaluations, to summarize people’s reasons for wanting to have weight loss as being 1) seeking improved health and 2) seeking an improved quality of life. The Post Op: All I know is, by the time I dragged my size 30 behind into the doctor’s office to talk about getting the weight off, I was sick…and I was tired…and I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It sounds trite, but it was true. My obesity was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and every day represented weight gained and battles lost. At 320 pounds, I was Alice, and I’d been stuck down the rabbit hole of obesity and poor health for so long, I was willing to do anything to get out – yes, even take a swig from that bottle on the table with the “drink me” tag. In my mind, weight loss surgery was a magic potion and I was about to get really small. I didn’t know how it would feel when I got there, but I knew I’d be set free. I believed my life would get better and I’d be healthier if I could just get…smaller. The Doc: Fast-forward two years after surgery. The weight has melted off! The scale, of, course, never seems to reflect a low enough number. No matter – people are taking many fewer medications than they had to prior to surgery. And they are riding roller coasters and Ferris wheels and they are going on airplanes and not needing seatbelt extenders. They are going bike riding and hiking and playing with their children and grandkids like they have dreamed of doing. In other words, the majority of post-ops at around the two-year mark, do have improved health and do have a better quality of life. The Post Op: Losing large amounts of weight in a short period of time really messes with your head. One day, you’re buying double-digit stretchy pants and tops in the plus-size section, and the next, you’re venturing into the foreign world of single-digit labels on non-spandex jeans and fitted suits. Yesterday, you couldn’t find a single “before” photo but today you’ve got a thousand “after selfies” and attention from people you aren’t even sure you like. It’s exciting and new… and confusing… Somewhere along the way, you lost the plot, stopped focusing on your health and started focusing on your image. Like so many post-ops, you’ve learned that losing weight doesn’t guarantee happiness, hopefulness or health. So, with that said, can you refocus your focus and choose to live in Recovery From Obesity? What do you think, Doc? The Doc: It’s been really interesting observing the journey of post-ops, two of whom are my closest friends. After the initial weight loss and the joys of experiencing many of the NSV’s (non-scale victories, on the off chance you don’t know what NSV stands for, many people start whingeing (pronounced win – jing), a term the Post Op and I learned on our trip to work with bariatric folks in New Zealand. It means whining! “I don’t want to exercise.” “I’m tired of restricting myself.” “But sometimes I just need chocolate.” And then there’s the gossiping. “Have you seen so-and-so? She’s regained so much weight.” “Do you think I look smaller that that woman?” And, of course, there’s a continued? new? renewed? obsession with numbers! ““If I could only fit into a size smaller.” “Just ten more pounds and I would be satisfied. Really.” And what I actually find the saddest is the addiction to food… “I watch all of the shows on the Food Network.” “Look at the ‘bad’ food I ate… I posted it on Facebook!” My, how the focus changes! No longer do people seem to remember the reasons they had surgery… they appear to overlook the fact that their health is improved and the quality of their lives is vastly improved. All of a sudden the numbers on the scale, the size of the clothing and how they compare in size to other people are the focus. And maybe the saddest part from my perspective is that no matter how much weight they’ve lost, so many people are dissatisfied. They either want to lose more weight, hate their body just as much as before weight loss, or find some other thing(s) to focus on that were never mentioned as being important prior to surgery. The Post Op: I’ve seen this play out a thousand times, Doc, and it makes me so sad to realize that many people who desperately want to be free from the prison of obesity actually imprison themselves by the tyranny of numbers, the scale and their clothing size! As you sagely point out, far from living a life in Recovery, many post-ops lose sight of what they said matters most and focus on the food, the food and the food! You call it an unhealthy obsession – I call it addiction, but either way, it’s not the goal of life after weight loss surgery…at least, not in my book. What’s missing from the equation? The Doc: Where’s the gratitude? Somehow, the life-saving, life-enhancing weight loss surgery that was done to improve one’s health and improve their quality of life, and that DID exactly those things, often morphs into what we believe are simply manifestations of that same disease of obesity. Because, as Cari often points out, “obesity is all about the food but not at all about the food.” And she’s right! Obesity includes a mindset, an attitude, an obsessiveness on food, size, and weight. Perhaps most tragically, there is a self-defeating component that lives on when one becomes obsessed with their eating, their weight, their sizes and/or what others are eating, what others weigh and what size others are wearing. Again, I ask, “Where’s the gratitude?” The Post Op: In my case, genuine gratitude was a mystery. I mean, I’d spent a lifetime focusing on my compromised health, physical limitations, poor quality of life, disappointments, shame and failures. Clearly, going to the doctor wasn’t a reason to celebrate, because I believed I’d be “blamed” for my condition, then blithely be told to “move more and eat less.” And I know I’m not alone – I talk to many post-ops who share my misunderstanding about the power of gratitude and the importance of practicing it in everyday recovery. Of course, when the focus is on the negative, it doesn’t even occur to you to consider something positive! Maybe that’s why I view gratitude as the unsung gift of Recovery and work hard to work on it every day. The Doc: Maintaining what is commonly referred to as “an attitude of gratitude” can have a positive overall affect on your life. By focusing on the ways your health has improved, you feel pleased and grateful for the changes in your life, regardless of the weight your body has settled at. Focusing on the ways the quality of your life has improved after weight loss results in being grateful for being able to participate more actively and fully in your own life! Take the time and literally make a list of the things your weight loss has resulted in regarding your health and quality of your life. The Post Op: I get it. Lists are usually filled with work you have to accomplish before the day ends (things to do today), or before you die (bucket list), but they aren’t usually things you look at to feel good. I say it’s time to change that paradigm and start making lists of things you’ve already done (or, get to look forward to!) Your gratitude list doesn’t have to be a thing of literary genius (which means it doesn’t have to rhyme, be written in haiku or iambic pentameter, and doesn’t even have to include complete sentences!) Your list can include positive words, pictures, names of people you love – whatever – but it has to be a real list…so why not start now by considering some of the things The Doc mentioned? In case you’re wondering my list starts like this: 1. I’m eternally grateful for the opportunity to work with an amazing and compassionate friend to help others find the joy of Recovery From Obesity. How about you? ACTION STEP: Download a GRATITUDE APP (any one will do) for your smart phone and make a practice of typing in a minimum of three things each day that represent your improved health and/or the improvements in your quality of life. If you’re open to it, you will experience an overall improvement in your daily attitude.

Quite a while back I lost an inch somewhere -- I went from 5'7" down to 5'6". At my last check-up I had gained back half an inch and recently I just got my other half back. Because of my shape, I just wasn't standing as tall as I once did. Now I can throw my shoulders back and stand against the wall with my full height, all 5'7" of me. There's so much less in the way not only for standing up straight but for bending and folding, curling up, etc. Meanwhile I have lost nine inches off of my waist alone. No more Mrs. Winnie-the-Pooh. These non-scale victories -- NSVs -- make me so happy!

You know when you had weight loss surgery when..... NSV...You finish jogging on the treadmill at the gym. The person on the treadmill next to you say's thanks for motivating me to stay for an hour. They introduce themselves and you find out they are a high school physical education teacher.

@@Folly I hope you posted that in the valentines thread for Alex. Fantastic story. Ok I'm open for this conversation. I have been with my husband since I was in my 20's. Sex was amazing then. We got older and my weight increased and my health declined. Sex honestly became a chore. I lost my drive. My amazing husband has stuck it out through some tough times with my health issues. To have me back means more to him than the weight loss. Don't get me wrong. The weight loss has been a great thing for our sex life. He has seen me at my heaviest weight so loose skin is nothing to make me self conscious. I'm loving dressing up for him and going out on dates. I'm still getting used to him telling me I'm hot. Very sweet but I don't see it. He has taken me to Victoria's secret and walked out with size small pantie's big NSV. I'm very open, adventurous, loving life and in love with my husband. The sleeve has done a big turn around in our lives. SOOOOO thankful. The hair issue...Pulling my hair in bed in my 20's was hot..Now that I'm loosing hair with weight loss hair is precious to me.

@@joatsaint wwwwwwonderful NSV and the NSV's keep coming i'm sure you and Franensleeve are very proud/happy 171 lbs down!!! that is an amazing accomplishment keep up the good work 4 lbs til GOAL personally i would lose 5 more lbs to be in onderland thats just me kathy congrats

@@Countrygrrl the most common wonderful NSV's deal with clothing mooning people?? great feeling getting rid of those big clothes I also used to keep some old clothes "just in case" you/me/we can't think that way anymore we never/won't want see those "big" clothes again!!! pre and post op down 41 lbs!!! welcome to twoderville keep up the good work kathy congrats

Hey guys, just wanted to share another NSV benefit from having VSG. Pre-surgery my blood pressure was averaging 143 over 105. 2 years later its averaging 125 over 90. Sometimes it even gets as low as 117/82. I check my pressure about once a week when I make a Sam's Club run. They have a blood pressure machine over at the pharmacy.

This is the dress I ended up with for tonight's dinner at the 95th. I had a much fancier one but it was too big! So in a panic I ran to Target today and got this sleeveless dress for $27.99 and topped it off with a black sweater from my skinny daughter's closet! The heels are new and a size too big so they don't hurt my goofy feet. People, I have not worn a dress in 15 years. This is truly an NSV!

I am excited every time I get my labs back and my blood sugar is completely normal! My other favorite nsvs include cinching the belt, passing by the bakery section at the store without even thinking about it, taking the stairs at work without losing my breath, and being able to run! Love it all.

I guess I was just free writing my feelings. I apologize. Didn't realized my unappropriateness. I want her to have NSVs without the surgery.

Hey Layknee - just think about where you're posting this comment We're all so positive and talking about our NSV's; how wonderful we feel about ourselves after surgery etc. Why would you not want that for your friend too?

Yes stalls this long or even longer happen. Just look for the NSV (Non scale victories) when the scale isnt moving. I had a stall for almost 3 months. Try doing Protein shakes for a few days or week & one meal... or something along those lines.... just to shake things up.... what about working out? maybe increase your workout? Also track what you eat... this always helps me. Try not to stress over it (i know easier said then done) Good Luck!

The beauty of NSV. Love that. At 4 mo. and stuck at 47 pounds lost. My husband keeps telling me legs are really slimming down. Will have to get the measuring tape out and count that loss until the scale starts moving again. Thanks. ????

@@kimmeesue - That is the beauty of NSV (Non Scale Victories) . It allows you to be happy with things other than the numbers on the scale. Taking measurements and watching them change. Taking pictures along the way to have a visual of your progression. Noticing that you can walk easier. If you were on meds, the fact that you no longer need them or now use less. The thrill of buying clothes in a size you never imagined seeing again. NSV's are even more important than the scale.

NSV- I got on a regional American Airlines aircraft and could buckle my seatbelt without an extender! I am also 5 pounds away from being under 300 pounds for good! I think I was the heaviest in our group at starting weight of 365. I could also paint myself into my size 22 jeans (non-stretch type). Small rewards to keep me going.

So I have attained my 1st NSV:) One of the things that happened when I hit my ultimate low and made the decision to get my lap band was when my wedding ring wouldn't fit:( I had to have my ring enlarged a few years back and at that time it was no big deal. But to have to do it again was really disheartening. I am 2 weeks post op and I have lost enough weight and water weight that my ring comfortably fits again. This is so motivational. It was hard when my husband asked why I wasn't wearing my band and I told him it was cutting off the circulation in my finger. I think this was the point when he realized how much I was struggling too. Oh well that is in the past. The ring fits now and I hope the next thing I have to do is get it made smaller.

Great nsv. when I was at my heaviest, I couldn't wrap a bath towel around my body I bought a terry wrap in extra large. Now the wrap is too big . So, now regular towels wrap nicely. it's the little things that happen to you along the way that sometimes you just say, wow.

Just packed up all my oversized towels to bring down to Florida to use on the chaise lounges down at the pool. I replaced them all with 'regular' bath towels because the oversized ones are way too big for me. I can wrap it around me almost twice and I can't tuck it in because it's too heavy now.. Never thought I'd have to replace my towels of all things...

Hilarious, that's a great idea Pac-Woman, I'm divorcing Avenue, Lane Bryant and Ashley Stewart for good too! I too am too excited to be able to go into any store and shop. I had a NSV this weekend. I met one of my friends that I haven't seen since the day before surgery and she almost fell off her chair. I'm down 32 pounds now (I need to update my ticker) and she, and everyone else said they see it in my face. Me, I see it there, my boobs, my butt! Thank you Lord, my back no longer hurts. We walked the mall shopping for shoes and then went to see a movie and then went to lunch. It's so nice not to be consumed with food and what I'm going to eat. I rarely think about it between meals.

So I went to my 6 week follow up apt this morning. I was worried they would tell me I wasn't loosing enough weight, but they said I was doing great. I have lost 18 lbs since surgery and 42 since starting the pre-op weight loss program in August. I was shocked at my measurements too. I have lost way more inches than I thought. My body fat percentage dropped 5 points too. Yesterday I had my first NSV, I fit into a pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear for almost 2 years! I am starting to feel this is worth it.

I use my food diary to keep myself accountable. I'm sure most people don't review their food diary like I do, but I started my food diary because I wanted to be healthier, not just skinnier. I can look at my calories count and my macro-nutrients and know whether or not the scale will move. Initially it took time, but now it's a few seconds typically once in the morning and once at night. I learned how to balance my sodium, sugars and carbs and how it would effect my body. I was also able to identify food allergies and intolerances that were showing up on allergy testing. Once I figured out how to balance these things I felt better, had fewer allergy attacks and tons more energy. Like @@Kindle said NSV's mean so much more than the numbers on the scale for me.

I thought I'd pop in here and give a little NSV update. So I'm 2 1/2 months out and I've been struggling with really seeing/feeling my progress. While my pants are hanging off of me, I still feel huge. Well I went to my parent's house for dinner last night. I got down to my bra and panties to show my mom my deflated body and my squishy legs. Of course I was critiquing but she was so impressed with my progress. When I had my clothes back on I was walking to another room and I heard her tell my husband, "Look at her from behind. She looks like a different person!" That made me so happy. Today I went shopping for a new bathing suit and some shorts and pants. I dread shopping. I've left so many times crying and depressed. Most times in the dressing room things wouldn't even go past my thighs or butt and I'd get them halfway up and give up. I'd try on 10-30 items and leave with none or one. It was bizarre shopping in the non-plus size section. I kept gravitating towards the 2X and 18/20 clothes. I grabbed three pairs of pants, a pair of shorts, two shirts and six bathing suits. For the first time in my life every single item fit. And the pants and shorts were all size 14!! I got tears in my eyes because every bathing suit fit and I simply picked the one I liked the most, not just because it fit. Normally I settled for whatever fit and would feel fortunate I found one item. Now I can actually find clothes I think are cute! My bathing suit doesn't have a skirt or shorts. It's a NORMAL bathing suit. I haven't worn one of those since I was....I don't remember. A child? Of course I'm not close to done with losing weight. I still have 50 pounds to go but these pants should last a month or two before they become huge. Here's a pic of me in my shorts! Size 14. ????