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Terri that necklace is gorgeous! I know Pam will likely murder me if I say something (hah hah), but are they hypo-allergenic? I'm allergic to fake metals, so anytime I've ever bought those things, I break out in a rash within an hour. Are those like that? And Tracy WOW! That swimsuit is HOT... look how perfect your boobs look in that, I'm sure DH is appreciative Jennifer- Everyone is having sales right now, so I've bought some shirts & pants I can't wear right now (or can barely wear, but would do better to wear later) and hanging them in my closet. I'll get there eventually!! I also raided my mom's attic, she has tons of size 12 & 13 bell bottoms she can't wear anymore. Just for fun I tried to pull on some 13's last night.. Barely got them up my legs, and when I tried to fasten them- NO WAY! Hah hah.. they had no stretch.. woosh. One day. I am debating takin pics of me wearin those jeans once a month till I can close them. Then I'd finally be able to wear those clothes I envied my mom for!

Kat - thanks for the info. I think I will try and switch the training session to either the morning or to Friday. I am not concerned with on the tummy exercises, don't do those, I am concerned with being able to hydrate enough to workout hard. After this first fill then I will see how I react. You sound like it is great fun. I like the whole diversion thing you do. Good luck with your hubby. Tekymom - sorry about the port incision. That ususally happens to me, but I was fortunate that I wasn't allergic or reactive to the glue the doc used. In fact many other surgeries I have had to have wound care nursing. Good luck with the healing. Have a great night all you beautiful violets! Michelle

onceuponaband --- Hi Paige. Welcome and congratulations on your surgery date. We look forward to hearing about your journey through this. I have opted to tell only 2 co-workers, my husband and daughter. At first my excuse was not to say a word until I know for sure that I was approved. Now that I have been approved I still don't want people to know. I don't want people to think, "Is that on your diet" or "Should you really be eating that". I would rather right now just let them think that this is just another "normal" diet and be quite. I'm sure one day when they finally get enough nerve to ask what my secret is I'll let it out but not till then. sunny day -- I am in the same boat as you. I met my surgeon on Feb 3 at the seminar and have not seen him since. I will see him for the second time this coming Thursday for a pre-op meeting and then I have surgery 15 hours later. I got my pre-op diet info from the dietitian. It certainly would not hurt to call and ask when your pre-op appointment will be. That way you are not slipping through the cracks and have to reschedule because of someone else's mistake. I have always been proactive instead of reactive though when I can because I don't like surprises. They never seem to be good. Anyway, give them a call for peace of mind.:biggrin: Cathy

Hi I'm Jamey. 45 yro mother of two daughters 24 and 21. I'd say my weight issues started in college. My freshman 15 was 30. I married young and it was an abusive relationship, I lost some weight remarried and became a widow at 29. Goodbye normal body forever!! I'm now married to the love of my life and my girls are both going to be married in the next year or two. My highest weight was 325 (hysterectomy and hypo thyroid helped NOT) but by the day of my surgery which was just Tuesday 9/23 I was down to 289. My goal now is 165 but I'll maybe change that when I get to that point. Nice to meet you all.

I do not have reactive hypoglycemia . . . I am a full-blown diabetic . . . and for that reason alone, I should not have tried drinking chocolate milk (I had a serious moment of weakness!). My blood sugar was high for a couple of hours after that episode . . . But it's interesting that what some people mistake for dumping does have another possible cause.

Hi everyone---once again, thank you more than I know how to say for the continued prayers for my family and my little Kinsey in particular. It seems that is was just an everyday gastro intestinal virus that was especially vicious, and contagious, as it has now taken 4 generations of us (my Mom is now sick) down in less than a week. No one else who was at the anniversary has been ill, so thankfully I did not poison everyone. Most of us have been hit hard, and recovered about as quickly, not so with Kinsey. Her case has left her with issues in the colon. Her colon is inflamed, and non reactive. It is not allowing food to enter, so there is no absorption taking place. She is failing, bit by bit, and they have continued to tell us to wait it out. Today, they finally decided maybe that isn't working---and we had a surgical consult. He sent off yet more specimans for culture....and if it warrants it, we will be flying her to either Albuquerque to the University Hospital, or to Denver to the Children's hospital, depending on what type of issue they think we are dealing with. They have downgraded her condition to critical. She bounces from sleeping, which we found out was caused by her blood sugar being below 40! To being so irritable as to not be recognizable--a screaming raging child....to one sobbing for food. It absolutely has broken my heart into a million, million pieces. She tells us point blank she is hungry, and asks for any and all kind of food she can think of...with giant tears in her big blue eyes....then she just goes limp, with the look of total dejection. She is 2, she does not understand why we keep letting them poke her, why we will not feed her....why we don't help her when she tells us her tummy hurts. She begs, Please Granny. And repeats "no pokes, no needles, please" everytime someone new enters the room. Add to this heartache (and it is TRUE heart ACHE), my DD's ex, Kinsey's father, is there trying as usual to be the funny man---and his mother an OR nurse at the hospital we are in, going behind everyones backs and putting down Dr.s and nurses, and questioning them and ultimately pissing them off--- and causing problems....I do not know which way to turn. The ex, and his Mom were arguing with my DD about whether the Dr. might want to run a blood test that might tell them about a disease that my DD's grandma on her Dads side had called Celiac Disease. The nurse dislikes the former MIL anyway, so ordered everyone except the 2 who have been staying the night with Kinsey out of the ward. Now this being said....the arguement was not loud, it was out of the room, and Kinsey is the ONLY patient in Peds. She saw it as a chance to get rid of Renee (former MIL) and did it. So we all were banished. My DD was there with her bf/fiance....they had not had a chance to eat...well we are fighting to get DD to eat, she refuses until her baby can eat....it is more than I know how to handle. Rick waited until shift change, and took some dinner to the hospital, and they were going to take turns going to the waiting room---I just don't think my DD is eating at all either---I keep telling her Kinsey needs her strong. It is very hard to put anything in your mouth knowing she is begging for the same. There were 3 nurses on the floor today, with Kinsey the only patient. At one point, she had a blow out---we had her in a diaper, due to this happening...but she went through the diaper, all over the bed, all over her Mama, her gown, the whole 9 yards. I sent my DD to change, and I proceeded to clean Kinsey up after telling the nurse. They were each on a computer comparing prices of the new Harry Potter book. I got Kinsey cleaned up, walked her out to the hall, found her a new gown in the shelf, took her in and dressed her. By then her Mama was back, and she sat down and held her, while I stripped the bed. I went walking out into the hall with this wad of smelly sheets and ask what they wanted me to do with them, she POINTED to a soiled linens hamper thing. Then she got up, walked to a closet, and handed me linens for the bed! They did not come in and disinfect the mattress----nor did she make the bed! I did. Our baby needed to lay down. They come in 2 times today and did vitals----nothing else. She is still casted, it was due to come off today, the nurse never mentioned to the Dr, we needed a ortho consult until after office hours---now she is stuck until Monday. They did not offer to help bathe her----NOTHING!!! Changed one bag of IV fluids....took 2 sets of vitals.....and surfed the net all day. Now this is the first day for this set of nurses....all of the other shifts, and sets of nurses we have had, have went out of their way to make us comfy, and help our little one in any way---today they were absolutely worthless. Tomorrow I intend on finding out who the nursing supervisor is, and filing a complaint. I have no way to make our baby better.....and I have emotions pent up that those worthless women know nothing about----but are fixing to find out about! While I am there seeing the supervisor or charge nurse or whoever....I will also mention, that we had Kinsey in a wagon pulling her around and around and around the 3rd floor......anythnig but her room, she was so tired of her room....and on one of our turns we passed the ICU entrance. There was a male nurse there Julian, who teased her every time she passed, he would hand her a new crayon.....then a piece of paper....and finally a stuffed doll (out of one of the claw grabber kind of machines it seems). She was so listless, but she would spark a little knowing we were coming up to where he was....he helped our day immensley....I will commend him, as I do my best to take the others down. Amanda said he even come by to tell her to get well, he was going on his 4 days off, and he hoped she was home and well before he come back to work. Her nurse.....never even walked into the room before she left. Thank you all for listening once again---all these things are boiling inside me. I am scared to death for Kinsey. Latching onto the anger I can control. The plan as it stands now is to begin introducing good bacteria into the system tomorrow...similar to what is found in yogurt. IF the tests do not show a total shut down. If they show a total failure, we are off to a bigger hospital for surgery. She has lost weight, she is under 17 pounds now. She doesn't show it much because she is really swollen from all of the IV fluids. They are also watching her blood sugars every 3 hours (which is just another poke----and was NOT done on schedule today), and adjusting the glucose in her IV. They finally gave her some Pepcid type of stuff in her IV for the acid in her stomach, since nothing is passing normally. She has complained less of her tummy hurting with that. And that is all----we wait now....and wait....and wait....and wait. I have my lap top, and I have connection. I just cannot sit in her room with these tears streaming down my face. You guys are my release in so many ways....thank you so much. I will let you know something as soon as I can. Please continue the prayers. Rick has avoided the vomiting....we got him some Kaitrel or something like that....so he is hanging tough. Being right there holding her like her Papa always does. Hugs to you all! Sounds like the food issues continue---I promise you girls---it gets easier, it becomes normal dare I say? Kat

As I understand it (purely from reading research studies, not from personal experience), reactive hypoglycemia is a post-WLS condition more likely to occur in RnY patients than sleeved patients, although it's not unheard of among sleevers. Sorry you guys are having to deal with this. Best to you.

No, no eliminating anything from my diet - I am not eating anything new that I didn't eat pre-op, and I'm not eating anything I don't have permission to eat. My surgeon mentioned it may be a systemic reaction, something I ingested at the hospital. Maybe the thrush prevention mouth wash thing I had to take, who knows. I stopped the heavy duty painkillers about 4 days out. Have you considered shingles? It comes out with stress in the body and is only mildly reactive to steroids.

Thanks for the congrats guys. I'll probably be going up and down for the next week before the new weight settles in. Thats what usually happens. Jessica, as a Christian who went to Christian schools and sent my kids there and as one who teaches in a Christian school, I gotta say your SIL is nuts. She'd rather do the most unChristian thing I've heard of than get the child the help he needs from a public school? He's probably ADHD with a learning disability and now the hormones are kicking in. And she's too busy and tired trying to raise and homeschool the rest of them to give him the extra help and attention he needs. So she'd rather get rid of him than send him where he can get the help he needs and admit that she's failing him. What misplaced pride. The most generous interpretation I have is that she's having pregnancy psychosis. What a message she's sending to the other children. Screw up, don't measure up to our "Christian" standards and we will get rid of you. Where is her DH in all this? Why isn't he getting her the help she needs? Including psychiatric. I would have the boy thoroughly evaluated before fostering or adopting him. He may be very damaged already from his first home life as well as the second. He may need special placement in a therapeutic setting, particularly if he has bonding issues and PTSD as well as academic and behavioral issues. Reactive Attachment Disorder can make adopting an absolute nightmare. Some of these children are too damaged to be placed in a regular family. If that is the case with your nephew, then we may be judging your sister too harshly. Sometimes these children are actually a danger to their parents and siblings. But like most sociopaths they can present really well to outsiders who don't see them on a daily basis. They can be very charming but never actually bond and feel no remorse over doing wrong or hurting others, only over getting caught. They can be highly manipulative and you end up feeling crazy and not knowing why. I think what you are offering is tremendous and I truly hope it works out. Make sure you have state funding and medical care for this child and payment for any therapy and extra tutoring he might need. I would initially go foster care with him because once adopted you might not have access to funding to provide for his needs. My brother and his wife had to give a young child back to the province because the local social services refused to diagnose the child as having rad and provide them with the support services they needed. They had the child privately evaluated and found out she not only had RAD and PTSD, she was ADHD and had Fetal Alcohol Sysndrome. It killed them to do it but they did not have the training or the access to funds to provide the child with the care she needed and this was the only way they could force the province and social services to provide for her. The two or three years they went through all that were some of the worst times of their life and they felt like total failures. Cheri

@@Renkoss I learned my lesson that day with the glucose tabs. My sugar was too low, I couldn't find them and I don't keep juice in my home. I literally tore the cabinet apart and found them and then even struggled to open the container because I was shaking so bad. Now, they sit right on my end table. They are opened and ready to use. I do not use Protein powder at all. Because I have kidney problems I have to be careful not to have more than 70 grams of protein per day. I get that between my one premier Protein shake that I have every morning religiously and my other meals. I have oatmeal or cream of wheat very rarely when I have a craving for it and have learned that I just need to make sure I get that protein snack between. I have found that if you let more carbs into your diet on a regular basis the chance of you developing reactive hypoglycemia is much higher. I try not to let that happen but there are days I simply want something besides protein and veggies. I eat a lot of fresh fruit, dehydrated apple chips and once per day I have a starch in one of my meals. My nut believes in a balanced approach vs. just protein and veggies and so far it has worked for me. Thankfully I only experience that reactive hypoglycemia on occasion. The bad part is when it happens you can actually cause it to go on all day. I have learned to stop it as soon as it happens.

Thanks for the NSV shares folks - I love stopping in on this thread for a little inspiration. below are some more recent NSV I've had: yesterday I was on my feet in the kitchen for 3 hours cleaning and doing food prep. I still had enough energy to go for a walk afterward. Previously, I would have been exhausted and in too much pain after that much time on my feet to even contemplate more activity. I've seen some of you mention this...revved up libido and increased "romantic joy". It's really really really REALLY true. Everything about sex is just way more fun. DH and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this week like it was our honeymoon! 😂 I reactivated an old back injury recently and was able to do the rehab exercises much easier than when I was 60 pounds heavier and I started feeling better in less than half the time than I would have prior to WLS. I'm fitting in size 16 bottoms and large tops and was able to buy clothing for myself at Costco for the first time ever. I got a couple of cute shirts for 6 bucks, an unheard of price for the plus-size clothes that Costco doesn't even carry. My husband can pick me up and has decided that his new workout is called "wife lifting". I'm perfectly fine with this, you know...gotta support his fitness goals! 😂😂😂

Hiya all, I'm new to here and just was wanting to make contact. I am insulin dependant diabetic with sever insulin resistance, I am 1 week away from rny surgery and on day 3 of the pre surgical prep. From what I have seen I don't really have much to moan about, as I am still able to eat actual food, but wondered..did anyone else have extreme cravings, headaches, insomnia, low mood, and agitation when doing the prep? Also did anyone feel just generally really unwell? It's only day 3 but it's kicking the hell out of me. I am able to have the following each day (which I know is more than most), but am worried that I am maybe eating a bit too much to shrink my liver, or that I am just getting it all wrong. The hospital have me the following diet: Breakfast - 1 weetabix Lunch- small portion of lean meat or fish, salad (no dressing), 2 crisp breads or a slice of bread Dinner- small portion of lean meat or fish, 3 small potatoes or 3 spoons of rice, vegetables 1/2 pint of skimmed milk per day (to be used in tea or coffee and my breakfast) A sugar free & fat free yoghurt No sauces no alcohol no fizzy drinks I had a hypo today I am currently 106kg, I weighed 122kg at the start of my journey 2 years ago. I have gone from a 44 inch trouser to a 34/36 inch. Am having the surgery for diabetes reasons not so much for weight loss. Thank you in advance for any replies xx Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Is there a list of questions for your first surgeon consult anywhere on here (I'm anal, I know-have another list for the insurance lady)? I realize that some of these may get answered at the initial seminars (been to mine already), but I still have lots of details to ask. I'm hoping the Dr. will cover most of this when I get there. Here's what I have so far, PLEASE help me add to this (going in a few weeks, thanks!): PRE-OP - Pre-Op Diet- how long, what/when? Night before-what/when? - Bowel Prep- or not, what/when? - My Meds.- continue reg. meds, Vitamins, up until when? WHICH BAND (I have a choice) - Realize- Want to see this one filled/crease concern, and the bend back lock - Lap-Band APS or APL- How much fill is in it immediately, and is this all in the port/tube (zero band fill)? See it filled. - Low profile port- Which has? option for me now or later? SURGERY/IN HOSPITAL - When does surgery get scheduled/criteria? Tentative date or wait for insurance approval? - Allergies- Mine-soaps/sheets, adhesive tape (fine with the hypo-allergenic kind), all environmental (asthma) - Anesthesia-preventatives for nausea possible (I get easily nauseated, was given 2 things for nausea by anesthesiologist last surgery)? - Catheter- used? out when? - Oxygen/IV- confirm yes- also? - Clot Preventatives- leg sleeves? meds, other? - Band- Attachment-How-lower stomach folds up and sutured (2-5) on one side? How long until it is secure/fused How can slippage occur? Is it tested during surgery, blue dye or how? - Port (I can chose where) Determine best position, attached how? How long until it is secure/fused? How can flips occur? - CO2- What do you do to minimize gas pains? Remove excess? Is it heated/humidified? Meds after? - Incisions- Confirm 5/locations? Use staples, stitches, glue? Protected with what/coverings? - Complications- should I expect any with my history? - Timing- (Mainly for DH)What is approx. timing/process of surgery (arival, prep, surgery, recovery, etc.) - Pain Meds- after, what, how often, side effects/nausea? - My Meds- Can I take my reg. meds in hospital, when? - Nausea- Meds available immediately after if needed? - Coughing- (some wake up and cough, I have asthma and easily cough) are meds available for this immediately? Can I also take inhaler immediately? - Length of stay- 1 night? What is the criteria for release? - Tests- Barium swallow? X-ray? Urine test? Other? - Expectations- Up and walking when? Shower? etc. HOME/POST-OP - Incisions- What to expect, treat them, buy anything, timing? - Expectations/Instructions- sleeping (propped up?), lifting, work, pain-when to call, etc. - Pain Meds- What, how often? Can I pre-fill Rx? - Other Meds- Nausea/Vomiting (get Rx for Phenergan), Diarrhea/Constipation, Coughing, Gas pains? Get Rx or OK list for OTC, and when it's OK. Call at what point? - My Meds.- If not started in hospital, when is it OK to start regular meds., vitamins? - Card- LB card to carry in wallet available, info. on limitations, loc. of port, surgeon info? - Diet- Phases what/when? Vitamin supplements? What to buy? - Exercise- What, when? LONG TERM - Dr. Visits- What is normal schedule for post-op visits, for what, testing, or only see at fills? - Fills- What is normal schedule/Normal amounts? Criteria? Who does? How are they done- xray, fluroscope, barium swallow, local anesthetic? Unfills the same? - Complications- Fill/restriction issues, Port/Band Pain, When to call? - Support Group- Schedule

They only gave me like 5 Protein shake options for preop and asked me to stick to those. Premier is reserved for post op for some reason. Of those preop shake options, two of them contain way too much actual sugar (I have reactive hypoglycemia) and caused me to have dumping syndrome. I have broth once a day at most because the shakes are pretty filling, and I don't so any sf Popsicles or Jello because I hate artificial sweetener and there's enough of that in the shakes as well. I haven't looked into the sodium in the shakes, though. I was thinking that once my Atkins supply runs out in two days, I'll make my own for the last 5 days and just use the muscle milk powder I already have. I can put lemon in my water. I'll try that. Maybe I just have an oversensitive system lol. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App Have you done yours? What did you use? Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Consultation Thur 5/7/09 permalink I have been lurking forever perhaps years.... Wanting to have the surgery but chicken.... Now.... I am 41 with 2 kids 8 and 11... I am just over 40 BMI Hypo Thyroid Meds... High Cholesterol but the good is high too. I have been seriously battling my weight for about 16 yrs and I am currently heavier than I was 9 months pregnant with my oldest. It has really taken its toll on my health , joints, and mental state. I have Aetna , Managed Choice, I have heard that my coverage is really good. Hoping and praying this will go off without a hitch. I don't want to jump through hoops, but i will if I have too. I have some degernerative disk disease in my lower back so my Chiro wrote me a letter stating that significant weight loss would improve my well being etc. Wish me luck if you have any insight on how all this will play out please let me in on it...... thanks in advance Lor

Hi, I was diabetic before surgery, no medication now BUT I have been having was is called reactive hypoglycemia. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/reactive-hypoglycemia/AN00934 Check out the mayo clinic info at this url. It happens to me about 3 hours after a meal, my blood sugar will plunge to about 50. Which is low. This is actually one of the know side effects of RYN - but - not one talked about too much - and it a bummer and a scary one. The "cure" is to drink about 1/2 cup of a sugary beverage such as juice or regular soda or eat sugar tablets - BUT - this can cause problems in RNY patients. I personally have to eat a snack - which will also work. I find it happens when I have not been careful to eat a balance of carbohydrates during the day and have one meal with a high concentration of carbohydrates. In theory it is easy to prevent but in practice difficult sometimes to implement. I would suggest discussing with your DR and/or nutritionist right away. It is daaangerous.

I have had ups and down - sometimes I am very patient and not reactive at all. Others, OMG, I go off at the smallest thing.

I was also hoping this surgery would magically fix all my body pain. I have Hashimotos, Fibromyalgia, and a few other autoimmune disorders. The other reason I wanted to lose weight was to keep my weight from being brought up as a reason for my pain. Doctors are so bad about saying if you lose weight you'll feel better. I have lost 78 pounds and I'm running 3 times a week, but still in pain. I think I remember reading that you have hypothyroidism, but can't remember if it was Hashis? Many docs are now saying that 90% of patients with hypo do have Hashis. I've been doing an enormous amount of reading on it to try to find a solution to my issues. I have never gotten any relief for my thyroid symptoms from taking Synthroid and getting my TSH to the low end of normal. I am frustrated that I still have a tremendous amount of hair loss, cold hands/feet, dry skin, losing the outer part of my eyebrows, severe brain fog, lack of concentration, slow weight loss, etc. I've started going to an acupuncturist that specializes in guiding Hashimotos patients through bloodwork and supplements to help decrease symptoms. Although the acupuncture seems to help, he has said that my solution lies with western medicine, not eastern. He recommended the book "Stop the Thyroid Madness". There's also a pretty good Facebook group called Hashimotos 911. Based on my bloodwork, I am adding some T3 hormone, sublingual Vit D, slow release Iron, and magnesium. Have you had your Vitamin D and iron levels checked since your surgery? I have trouble absorbing Vit D from food and the prescription supplement that I take is not absorbing as well as it did before surgery. I have had to add some sublingual Vit D. The pain that I get is deep and aching. Since I've added the sublingual, I'm not in as much pain. My endo got me up to 35 on the Vit D levels (I was at 11!), but according to my research, I need to be above 80 to be at the optimal levels.

Weigh loss surgery can affect your blood sugar levels. Some individuals experience a condition called reactive hypoglycemia. The symptoms of hypoglycemia are: blurry vision rapid heartbeat sudden mood changes sudden nervousness unexplained fatigue pale skin headache hunger shaking dizziness sweating difficulty sleeping skin tingling trouble thinking clearly or concentrating loss of consciousness If this is the cause, it sounds like you only have a mild version at this point. But it is something to keep an eye on.

Hello all! I am new to this site, but so far i love it! Everyone has such great advice and are so supportive! I am 27 years old, 2 kids and am a nurse at a local hospital. I have been overweight my whole life and been looking into wls for about 5 years. My insurance just changed at work and by the grace of God, WLS is covered!!!!! I am 5'3 and currently 247....Yikes! I am not only having wls to lose weight, but i am doing it because I am way to yound to have the health issues that I do! Just in the past year I have been put on BP meds, and an anti-depressant. My labs showed high LDL and high C-reactive protein. I am too young for this!!! Can't wait until the fall so I can get my surgery date scheduled and get my life back!!

My body has decided to partake in this. Anyone else? Any tips?

hypo here My dr say weight loss might lessen need for my dosage, but all ok

I have a dilemma, help! I have Tufts insurance and am 2 months into the required 6 month I Can Change program. My BMI is 40.3- just over the requirement for surgery approval. In getting myself ready to go I've now discovered that my cholesterol and c-reactive proteins are high. I also have acid reflux/heartburn. While my doctor still feels that lap band surgery is the way to go, she also doesn't want me to wait 4 months to start working out and losing weight. Unfortunately, my co-morbidities are not the ones that count for Tufts in order to go down in BMI. What do I do? Has anyone else had this dilemma and if so, have you found ways to convince Tufts to approve you if you have chosen to go ahead and start dropping the weight? It's so frustrating. Heck, I know I can drop 20 pounds but that's where it all falls apart for me and I need to lose a lot more than that long term. :smile2:

There is a big difference between knowing what you want and asking for it. There is also an important distinction between asking and hinting. Unfortunately, many of us were raised in a culture that encouraged us to be less than direct about what it is we’d like to occur. I talk with many women who aren’t getting what they need or want and aren’t quite sure how to ask for it. Interestingly, many women are able to be direct and assertive in their professional lives but find they stumble and feel uncomfortable when asking to have their personal needs met. I also hear from a lot of women who feel frustrated that their requests and needs aren’t being met even though they believe they are stating them clearly. They can’t understand what is going wrong. After writing a recent article about the importance of clearly stating wants and needs, I noticed some areas in my own life where I wasn’t really hitting the mark with this. I also found some places where, I initially believed I was being perfectly direct, but on further reflection, I realized I wasn’t getting my point across at all. And (big surprise), I was feeling frustrated with how things were going in those particular areas. I’m making a concerted effort to practice really stating my wishes clearly. Here are some pointers you might want to consider if your asking muscles need strengthening: 1. Being dissatisfied doesn’t mean you have clarity about what you want. I can know I don’t like something and I can express my unhappiness with it, but if I haven’t taken the time to create a clear picture of what I DO want, the information isn’t necessarily going to lead to a better outcome. 2. Expressing dissatisfaction is not the same as stating how you would like something to be. There is a HUGE difference between complaining and describing the outcome you want. If we aren’t clear on this difference and aren’t careful, we (yes, I’m including myself here) can fall into the trap of expressing what we don’t like and might never clearly describe what we want instead. 3. Directness and clarity are very important. To be most effective, we should be drawing a very clear picture for the person we are communicating with. Example: “I want you to help out more” doesn’t really cut it. “I’d like you to make dinner twice a week and help with kitchen clean up” paints a much clearer picture. Ask yourself the following question: if you had what you wanted, what would it look like? THIS is the description you want to be sharing and asking for. 4. Asking for what you want is NOT hinting, whining, complaining or describing how well this situation works in someone else’s life or business. A direct request should start with the word “I.” If you find yourself veering away from “I” statements, it’s a pretty good indication you need to practice using them. 5. For maximum success, your request should not be reactive or emotional. This one can be tricky if stating your needs is something you really aren’t comfortable with. If this is the case, know that it gets easier with practice. Start small and choose a calm time to practice your skills. ____________ Melissa McCreery, PhD, ACC, is a Psychologist, ICF Certified Life Coach, emotional eating expert, and the founder of www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com, a company dedicated to providing smart resources to busy women struggling with food, weight and overwhelm. Find out more, read tips and articles, and pick up her free audio series: “5 simple steps to move beyond overwhelm with food and life” at http://www.TooMuchOnHerPlate.com.

I figured out that my night sweats were being caused by reactive hypoglycemia. I have to be really careful with what I eat close to bed time.