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You know that you struggle with emotional issues of confidence & esteem that comes with being fat. But you may not know that you could be what are called as an avoider. This is due to the turmoil that comes with public & private dislike for obesity and you avoid confronting your situation at because of the fear of not being able to beat it. Here is how an avoider thinks – once you deviate even slightly from a diet or healthy eating you figure you might as we drop the whole thing – this stars a cycle that avoider can’t find a way out of – We are fat we try to lose weight we deviate just a little we feel rejection for the perceived failure we isolate ourselves from people we stop talking about it, we stop the diet we eat a pound of candy – we get fat then we try to lose weight and the cycle continues Instead of avoiding bad foods avoider tend to want to avoid other things like the people who want to help them and the disciple of trying to eat healthy. Avoiders try to separate themselves from these 2 strong emotion associated with dieting. The minute you ban any food from your diet you are setting yourself up for failure. If you eat half a cookie or a couple of fires from that banned food list – the diet is dead and that’s where the guilt sets in and now you feel that you lack the strength to succeed. This shame spins you back into the cycle of avoidance When you reach an obstacle you decide that instead of trying to find a way around it you might a well turn around and go back to the beginning – four fry’s leads to a handful then the whole bag. One way to handling emotional eating is you live & eat in the now – not being upset about what you are in the past and not obsessing about what you will eat in the future. The very thing that’s designed to help people lose weight is the very thing that promotes this harder – diets promote the all or nothing mentality. In our lives we allow for a margin of error – which we should also do when trying to eat healthy – if you are eating 1000-1200 calories a day – allow for some of those calories to be used for a little bit of something you really want - you need wiggle room in your diet to make it work – the all or nothing practices has to be thrown our of your mind. You can learn to reprogram your mind to strip away the guilt that comes with dieting. You have to realize that it’s not that the first slice of cake that will doom your diet – it’s the second or third or whole thing that leads to weight gain. You have to listen to your body & respond smartly to your cravings and emotions but over time you will learn how to eat right and mange your craving and that’s when you’ll train your brain to stop obsessing about eating right and punishing yourself – If you stop overthinking you’ll stop over eating..

Becky Those things are just models they really can't give you an accurate # - they just take generals into consideration - age and weight not how we burn calories - our metabolisam - what foods we eat etc - That 1200 to lose 3 lbs is BS IMHO... But I'm not a rocket scieniest - just a fat chick. I have a freind who was trying to gain a little weight - so she was eating sugar - nothing no weight gain - then she deleted the sugar and added flour/white crabs - was eating less calories of the carbs than the sugar - but in eating the carbs she gained the weight - Go figure - it's how her body reacts to the food it's given So IMHO we each have to find out what works for us - but the main thing is to decrease calories and exercise - Zig Zag your calories but no more that 1200 max a day - when you exercise (walk) don't stroll - push yourself - sweat.. Walk fast for a few minutes - slow down - then speed up again.. There is no way to know how many calorie we burn even on those treadmills that tell us how much we burn - say that my trainer who's 43 - 5'10 - 260 and ALL muscle - pluggs in those # on the treadmill (age/weight) and the man next to him is the same height and weight but all fat and out of shape - they are going to burn diff amount of calories on the same speed and incline - my trainer is going to burn less cuz he's in shape - the fat guy is going to burn more cuz he is using muscles he hasn't used.. but the stupid machine is going to say the both burned the same amount of calories So that being said - we have to take all those #'s with a grain of salt - they are approximates only - not written in stone. I only used daily plate or fitday to get the calories of foods that I didn't know how many calories was in what I ate (del taco burrito) - All I did was log my food in a little note book like this BF - Weight Control oatmeal 160 c L - One Pot Wonder 150C D - 4 oz Fish 120 - 1/2 c Rice 120 - Veggie 50 = 270 S - Popcorn 100 - puddings 2 120 - fudgcicle 80 Total for the day 900 - Excerise 2.5 miles That's it - my exercise was $$$ in the bank - Just keep doing what you are doing eating healthy exerciseing and once you get proper restriction the weight is going to come off - some weeks it could be 1 lbs - next week 2 - next wee 1/2 - then 3 the next. What the kind of food you eat - I am not an atkins advocate - but I do eat limited refinded carb

Hi Everyone~ Janet~ <hugs> Sorry to hear about work. I know this is NOT the same... I worked for several years as an ER nurse (in the same hospital I had been born in, my mother worked as a nurse and where I had worked as an ER tech for 2 years) and was leaving for the Peace Corps, they did NOTHING! It's not like I was leaving for a new fancy job.. I was going to a 3rd world country! Not even a card! Again 3 years versus 30 years! Geez Louise! That would really upset me too. Hope you are feeling better both emotionally and physically. I hate hangovers. Meredith~ I had a HUGE horrible seroma after my surgery. They drained it every week x 2 and then every two weeks x 2. It slowly got smaller and smaller. That may very well be what it is. They are very common. Also, if you don't have any signs of infection, as Janet said (redness, swelling, fever, pus)... that might be it. Charlene~ good luck for your son! WOW! that would be so cool!!! Let us know what happens. Tonight we have a babysitter and are going out to dinner and to a movie. I feel a little guilty b/c Nelson wanted to go with us. But it is so necessary to have adult time. His teacher is going to be his sitter and he LOVES her, so he will be ok. Nels slept for 12 hours last night after his dental surgery yesterday. He had vistaril and nitrous oxide and the whole ordeal wiped him out. Since my sister left, the scale has not moved! I know I need to start keeping a food diary again. I need to see exactly what I am doing with calories and Protein, etc. Ever since vacation when I got out of the habit, I have had a hard time sticking to documenting everything. I hate that. I am exercising. But it makes me feel somewhat "out of control" when I am not keeping track of my intake. TOMORROW I will start again. My sister was 246 when she arrived at my house and yesterday she was 239! She said that being so good (eating on plan and exercising) here at my house really helped her! I am happy for her. My niece so worries me. When we went to the grocery store they have one of those big scales at the entrance. I hopped on. The scale only goes to 250 so for the LONGEST time I couldn't weigh on it!!! I was sooo happy to finally be on there! Anyway my niece got on and I was shocked to see her at 209! She was 140 at my wedding in 2001. And only recently in the last 1-2 years put on the weight. We went clothes shopping and she was so bummed about her size. She was had to get 18s. I used the opportunity to talk to her about how I know how she was feeling, etc. I tried to motivate her with all the usual pep talks. That night after dinner she ate a whole Häagen-Dazs sorbet (i think it was a pint, said 3 servings at 150 cal each), then 2 bowls of Lucky Charms, a regular coke and then 2 ice cream sandwiches. I did NOT have this stuff in the house, she had gone to the store and bought it. It broke my heart to just watch her eat and eat. We have all been there. At one point she said "don't anyone say anything to me". So, what do you say to that?! She is 26, educated, has watched her mother and aunt deal with morbid obesity and is clearly not wanting interference. Her boyfriend that she lives with is really upset with her weight gain. They were together a year before moving in together last January. He even asked her to "promise" she would lose weight. I don't know is she is subconsciously trying to see if he will leave her... to test him?! I want to tell you guys more about my sister's visit. Will do it tomorrow. Have a good weekend everyone!

GREAT... I had a big weight gain, too. Surgery on Tues... when I got weighed on the Wii on the following Monday morning I was way up. Can't remember how much... but I think it was about 10 lb. But next Monday it was gone, following Monday about another 6 lb gone. It's not only the IV fluids, but your leg is quite swollen and lots of Water weight in that entire leg that you are not aware of. Trust me... it will drop off, probably in about another week. The more you move and exercise, the more the swelling will go down. CPM machines... (continuous passive motion) some doctors use them, others don't.. I didn't have that either. And they tried to put TED hose on me but my feet are small and my calves to big, so they had one on that leg but it fit so poorly that they took it of and left it off. I did have those little pumper things on my feet the first two days. Yes.... do contact your doc about the faintness/dizziness. Your blood count was low... BP low, you may need a transfusion.

Got an e-mail from Kaye Bailey who is the nurse practitioner whoo works with bariatric patients and who developed the 5 day pouch test. I have found a lot of her information very helpful and when I read this I thought it might help some of you. If you want to read more you can click on the link "5 day pouch test" below and you'll find her site. I hope it's okay to re-post it --- it's such good information. <P done13="5">Three Keys to Lasting Weight Loss Surgery Success Nearly a quarter-million people in the United States will undergo weight loss surgery this year to arrest their morbid obesity and lose weight. In spite of the drastic nature of gastric surgeries not all patients will reach a healthy weight and some may eventually regain weight they lost initially with surgery. 5 Day Pouch Test Store By Kaye Bailey Nearly a quarter-million people in the United States will undergo weight loss surgery this year to arrest their morbid obesity and lose weight. In spite of the drastic nature of gastric surgeries not all patients will reach a healthy weight and some may eventually regain weight they lost initially with surgery. Obesity is not a simple cosmetic problem of excess body weight than can be corrected with surgery. It is a metabolic disorder where the body stores an abnormal amount of body fat. Bariatric surgeries help arrest the disease by reducing the amount of calories a person may eat and some surgeries reduce the amount of nutrients the body absorbs and stores as fat. The surgery does not remove the disease but with patient compliance weight is lost and obesity can be put in remission. Chances for healthy weight loss and weight maintenance with surgery can improve with patient commitment to recovery. Patients must accept that the burden of treatment for their disease obesity is with them. Bariatric counselors tell patients the surgery is only a tool and it is up to the patient to use it correctly. This applies to all procedures including gastric bypass, gastric sleeve, and adjustable gastric banding (lap-band). There are three pro-active things patients can do to use their tool wisely: Use the Tool Wisely. Lifestyle: Accept that bariatric surgery brings with it an entirely different lifestyle that you must adopt for the rest of your life. Unlike conventional diets there is no finish line: surgery requires an almost religious-like lifestyle change. Patients must follow a high Protein, low carbohydrate diet every day for the rest of their life in order to lose weight and maintain that weight loss. Patients will need to avoid simple carbohydrates including sugary snack foods and fried food. Snacking, when allowed, must be mindful including lean protein and low-glycemic fruits and vegetables. liquid restrictions mean no beverages before or after meals and no drinking with meals: this helps the surgical pouch work correctly. Patients learn and accept that some things will make them sick, smells will affect them differently, and sometimes they will feel emotionally blue because of the irreversible restrictions of surgery. We have this life-changing surgery with all its restrictions and then return to the very environment in which we became obese: of course we suffer feelings of sadness at times. Support: As with other life-changing disease, patients seeking treatment and recovery from morbid obesity with surgery benefit from support. While no one can understand another persons exact journey we can certainly share the collective experience of obesity, life long dieting and weight gain, and finally the somber decision to undergo treatment with surgery. While patients are likely to cluster to support groups both live and online before surgery and in the first year following surgery, there is a tendency to drift away from support groups as time passes. Evidence suggests, however, that solid support relationships are a key in sustaining personal efforts for health, weight control and wellness with bariatric surgery. Activity: The inclusion of physical activity as part of lifestyle change with surgery will make a difference in the long term successful weight management of bariatric patients. Early post-operative patients are directed to get 150 minutes of exercise a week, that is about 20 minutes a day. Patients who do this and more will successfully manage their weight loss and weight maintenance. Patients who regain weight often admit they never really got around to including physical activity in their new lifestyle. Studies indicate exercise need not be strenuous or exhausting. Physical activity simply must move us beyond the normal motion required of daily life. Weight loss surgery patients tend to idolize their surgeons and bariatric teams crediting them with restoring their health. But long after the surgical wounds have healed and the routine checkups are simply annual office visits it is up to the patient to own their surgical tool and manage it in a way that keeps their disease in remission. Janet, glad to hear from you -- sorry about the computer problems - it's hard without it. Apples, yes, go buy one of the readers and let me know which one you decided to buy - I'm interested in them also - I just know for sure you want to be sure to get one that you can download books from anywhere (like Amazon) -- some of the ones sold at the bookstores are limited to buying only books from them (or so I've heard). Glad you're having a good time - lol I wouldn't go back to the winter either after spending time away -- that's why I don't plan to go until I don't have to come back. Gotta run -- ultrasounds went well this a.m. Hoping to hear results today. Love your new pic LauraK-- you look fabulous!!! Love you all. Linda