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Wow girl! You are an exercise fool. I thought I was until reading this. It sounds like you are very determined to get the weight off. Good for you. I go to the gym 4 days per week and ride my bicycle most nights after work and on my days off of work. I ride anywhere from 10-30 miles, just depends on how much time I have. You go girl:thumbup:

oh darn it I wished I had seen this before I ordered. I could have saved 10 instead of the 5% I did. Oh well maybe next year as I just ordered for the next 2 months. So glad you opened the store and I know I will be a steady customer. Thanks for the tips on Halloween as I have a party to go to in about 2 1/2 hours and will use some of these to stay away from the foods.

Happy Halloween from BariatricPal!#subject#> body,div,dl,dt,dd,ul,ol,li,h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6,pre,form,fieldset,input,textarea,p,blockquote,th,td { margin:0; padding:0; } table { border-collapse:collapse; border-spacing:0; } fieldset,img { border:0; } address,caption,cite,code,dfn,th,var { font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; } caption,th { text-align:left; } h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { font-size:100%; font-weight:normal; } q:before,q:after { content:''; } abbr,acronym { border:0; } address{ display: inline; } html, body { background-color: #d8dde8; color: #5a5a5a; } body { font: normal 13px helvetica, arial, sans-serif; position: relative; } h3, strong { font-weight: bold; } em { font-style: italic; } img, .input_check, .input_radio { vertical-align: middle; } legend { display: none; } table { width: 100%; } td { padding: 3px; } a { color: #225985; text-decoration: none; } a:hover { color: #328586; } div.outer { margin: 0 auto; padding: 14px; } table.wrap { max-width: 800px; margin: 0 auto; } td.logo { background-color: #0f3854; padding: 8px; } td.content { background-color: #fff; font-size: 14px !important; color: black !important; line-height: 150% !important; padding: 8px; } ul { margin-left: 25px; } Hey BariatricPal Members! Happy Halloween! It’s a fun time and the beginning of the holiday season. We’re celebrating a lot here at BariatricPal, and we’re super excited to share it with you! Here’s what’s in this newsletter. The BariatricPal Store: Grand Opening! Your Ready for the Holidays? Thanks for your support and for making it possible for BariatricPal continue to grow. There’s no way we could do it without you. Sincerely, Alex Brecher Founder, BariatricPal Grand Opening of The BariatricPal Store! We are so excited to announce the grand opening of The BariatricPal Store! We know, The BariatricPal Store doesn’t fit into a Halloween newsletter because it’s anything but spooky, but we just can’t stop talking about it! That’s why we’re offering 10% off all orders with coupon code SPOOKY10 just for you! Your Source for Bariatric Protein, Meals, Snacks, and supplements Weight loss surgery changes everything, especially your diet. You need to get enough protein without too many calories; eat a nutritious diet while keeping portions in check; and get your Vitamins and minerals without fail. It can be overwhelming and time-consuming…unless you have help. The BariatricPal Store can give you the help you need. We have the protein supplements, meals, snacks, and vitamins to help you lose weight and get healthy. Protein bars, shakes, and powders. Low-calorie, high-protein snacks, Entrees and breakfasts. Bariatric vitamins and Fiber supplements. Make Weight Loss Shopping Easy We know you need the top products, and they need to be healthy, nutritionist-approved, and convenient. We have all that! We also have: Tons of BariatricPal brand products. Product packages so you can pick up a bundle at once for a discounted price. meal plans for the pre-op and post-op diets, plus maintenance and back-on-track diets, so you can easily pick up the foods you need to stay on track. Sampler packs of different items so you can try different varieties to see which you like best. Other Reasons to Shop The BariatricPal Store We truly believe we’re number one. Here are just a few more reasons why. Subscribe and Save options on every product so you can get automatic re-delivery, 5% discounts, and free shipping on each order. Lowest prices – guaranteed. Free shipping on orders over $69. Save money with sales and discounts plus our Refer-A-Friend program. For help, you can look at the FAQs, give us a call at 855 WLS-BPAL (855 957-725), or use our live chat with a customer service specialist during business hours. Visit store.bariatricpal.com often to see current specials, and check out our blog for updates on promotions and new products. We can’t wait to take this next step in helping you reach your weight loss and health goals! Your Healthy Halloween Plan Halloween is about costumes, haunted houses, and scares. Unfortunately, some of the “scares” are the ones that show up on the scale if you eat too many Halloween treats, or the “scares” that come from feeling sick from too much sugar. You don’t have to experience the bad scares this Halloween, though. The trick? Plan ahead! Here are a few things to think about as Halloween approaches. Trick-Or-Treating Almost everyone is affected by trick-or-treating. If you have kids, you’ll probably find one or several big bags of Halloween candy showing up at your home when they come back from trick-or-treating. Your best defense here is to have a healthy dinner before taking them out. Then, focus on anything other than candy – you might fix your children’s costumes, be the flashlight holder, or designate yourself as the neighborhood crossing guard to keep kids safe. If you don’t have children, you may be the one handing out candy to the neighborhood children, which probably means buying a bunch of candy to give out. If that’s the case, you’re best off choosing candy that you don’t like that much, so you’re less tempted to eat it. Again, have a healthy dinner, and focus on other things besides candy for the evening. You might work on answering the door in a scary way, or taking photos of the cute costumes you see to share with the kids’ parents tomorrow. The Aftermath No matter what happens on your weight loss surgery journey, there’s always tomorrow. After Halloween, “tomorrow” is November 1. Take inventory. See what’s in your home that shouldn’t be there. Get rid of the extra candy. If you must keep some candy in your house because of your kids, make sure it’s not tempting you. You can always ask them to hide it away in their rooms. You can also make a game out of it: have them label each piece so they and you will both know if you “steal” some. Go for a walk. There’s nothing like a walk to clear your head and get you ready to go back to healthy eating patterns. Halloween’s scary, but it shouldn’t be scary because of the weight gain. It should be scary because of the fun things you get to do. With a little planning, that’s exactly how your Halloween can be. Healthy Halloween Tips Did you know there are tons of fun things you can do to get into the Halloween spirit without touching a piece of candy? Here are a few ideas! Go for a Walk It’s true…walking is really quite a good answer to most questions. How to burn off a few extra calories before Halloween? Go for a walk. How to enjoy the Halloween decorations in your neighborhood? Go for a walk. How to let your kids show off their Halloween costumes to all the neighbors? Go for a walk. Get the point? Get moving! Volunteer That’s right. You may think that volunteering is just asking for trouble, since you may be faced with a lot of candy. In truth, it’s a chance to be surrounded by the Halloween spirit while being so busy you don’t have time to grab a treat. Volunteering at a local school, homeless shelter, or retirement home can be the perfect way to immerse yourself in Halloween. Help decorate for a party, serve treats, clean up afterwards, or help make costumes. You’ll be appreciated, and you’ll get to be a part of the holiday in a way that’s healthy for your body and soul. Make Healthy Treats It’s true…treats make Halloween so much better. But you can do better than chocolate, candy corn, and decorated Cookies and cupcakes. Here are a few ideas. Greek yogurt popsicles: Use a little sweetener and keep them white for ghosts, or add some pumpkin and cinnamon and shape them into pumpkin shapes. Then you can decorate them like jack-o-lanterns! Jack-o-lantern orange protein cups: hollow out oranges to leave the peel mostly intact. You can “carve” a face in the peel shell to make it look like a jack-o-lantern, and fill it with cottage cheese or fruit. Greek yogurt “eyes:” freeze circular spoonfuls of Greek yogurt with blueberries for eyes. A happy, safe, and healthy Halloween however you choose to Celebrate it. Don’t forget to come talk about yours on the boards at BariatricPal! See you there!

Hey all. I am in the process of getting the lap band surgery. I starting everything on 12/10/09 with the seminar, saw the surgeon 12/17/09. I have to do an upper GI scan and an x-ray on 1/4. I do the psych eval and the nutrition counseling on 1/6. Aetna won't cover it unless I do a 3 month program, so I am hoping it will be approved in March to do the surgery in April. I am 28 years old and have been obese/overweight my whole life. Thank you genes. lol. I have teetered back and forth about doing the surgery and am finally doing it. I have gained a significant amount of weight in the last 2 years, now being 255. I am definitely not happy with myself about that. It's time for a change. I am glad I found this site. It seems to have a lot of great information. :biggrin:

Breakfast - Coffee/cream lunch - 3 whole wheat crakers with soft cheese and turkey salad spread on them. dinner - 3 bites of roast, small small bites - then was bad - 4 or maybe 6 girl scout cookies - then I threw the rest away. Exercise - None, DH had surgery and had to take care of him Wt - 192.8

I think its realistic. You have 5 weeks. Just stay focused. I would like to lose 40 bye christmas, but I know this is probably wishful thinking. Good Luck to you!! Consultation: May 19, 2008 Banded 8/27/08 1 st fill: 10/4/08 2 nd fill: 11/3/08

I stopped as soon as i decided to have the surgery. I lost 10 pounds right off the bat with only stopping Diet Coke. No soda for me, the carbination can cause swelling and a tear in your stomach. vicky

I was terrified but it is all a blur now... 10 weeks already... hard to believe. That'll be you soon. Good luck guys.

I've only been banded since 10 Dec and am due at the doctor's on Monday 15th for my first fill. I'm not sure what is going on, but I've been feeling less and less hungry over the last week. My post-op regime was supposed to 4 days on Clear liquids, 7-10 days on thick liquids, 1-2 weeks on mushies, and then back to normal eating, with the transition times being up to me and dependent upon how well I tolerated food. I was very good for the first 10 days, sticking exactly to the routine, but found by Day 10 I was absolutely ravenous. I made a big error in judgement on Day 10, and broke down and ate 4 breaded/fried half chicken wings Yes, yes, I know I was only supposed to be going into the mushy stage at the time and chicken wings aren't mushy!! Mind you, I did chew them to mush and beyond. Anyway, I've already been spanked severely for that on these boards when I confessed at the time, so please don't do that again. I need your advice on a different matter now... Over the mushy stage, I was pretty good although a couple of things were probably more "soft food" rather than truly mushy. Stuck to the calorie requirement well (in fact way below). About the only thing I did wrong was that I tended to push the 1 cup limit a little on the evening meal. I would get towards the end of the bowl and know that I was full and should stop but couldn't resist the taste and couldn't bear to throw the food out, so would just take it really really slowly and finish it all. At the end, I would feel uncomfortably full for quite a while, but never PB'd or anything. I can tolerate just about any type of food and am satisfied for hours on 1 cup. Anyway, now I am finding that I am feeling less and less hungry as the days go by and am starting to feel slightly nauseous all the time. I'm starting to get worried that the early chicken wings and the eating beyond the point of hunger have caused problems, possibly slippage or stretching the pouch. My port is in an awkward place (right on my waist line) and my work pants press against it uncomfortably when I sit. It also presses against my desk and over the last week, I have noticed it is starting to look a little bruised behind the scar, when it had been well-healed before I returned to work last week. I've been finding it harder to finish my evening meal Could the bruising be causing swelling, which is why I am not so hungry? Should I tell the doctor not to worry about the fill? I don't know how much I have lost in the last week, as I am not able to get near a scale till I get home from the mine site tomorrow night, but I don't think it has been a great deal. Typical day's eating: Breakfast - 1 poached egg, 1 muffin (no butter or fat) lunch - Optifast dinner - 2oz meat, 1/4 potato, 1 tbsp Beans, 1tbsp peas (or carrots, corn, broccholi, etc), 1tpbs gravy. 2-3 cups coffee with skim milk (not drunk with meals) Total: @ 700 cal I don't think I should be trying to eat much less than this, so don't think I need a fill, but am worried about why that is...

Please don't beat yourself up. I had so many food funerals that I gained 10 pounds from when I initially saw my surgeon in November to when I saw her again in December. Thankfully I'm doing the preop diet and have lost everything that I gained. But looking back I'm really angry at myself because the weight gain just made my goal farther away.

I hd 6 weeks between my last weigh in and my surgery date. I gained 19 pounds. Kid you not. I ate everything that was not nailed down. Honestly, I was grateful for the 4 day pre-surgery liquid diet -- I was literally sick of food! food funerals are very common. I do not recommend doing what I did, because now, despite having lost 16 pounds in 2 weeks, I am still 3 pounds higher than my last weigh in! Just do the best you can. For me, it is SO much easier to stick to a liquid diet now that I have been sleeved--- I have to remind myself when to have my soup/protein shakes on a timer-- I do not even think about food most of the day.

I was wondering if any of the cash pay patients have regretted paying the money. My husband and I are taking a loan of $12500 to cover the operation and I am in favor of him having the surgery, but our insurance flat out will not pay for it. I guess I am just a little nervous. Thanks. On a side note, we have the appt for all the pre-op stuff on April 10 and see the surgeon on April 16 and our very excited for this. I guess I needed a place to just put it all out there. Thanks. Leslie

Hi all, I had to post this. I have been actively trying to stop this hunt for 2 years now. What is even more shocking is how badly global warming has melted and effected the ice for seals, polar bears, etc. I don't think people realize how bad the warming is. If they did, I think they would stop buying the SUV's. The senseless slaughter of 230,000 seal pups began this week off the coast of Newfoundland. This second phase of Canada's annual commercial seal hunt takes place off the remote Front of Newfoundland and Labrador, its cruelty usually safely out of sight from the rest of the world. A competitive, reckless environment known to be extremely difficult to regulate and monitor by government authorities. But where have all the seals gone? The location of the sealing has moved much further north due to the drifting ice. On our first day of observation we saw 10-12 sealing ships attempting to navigate through the broken chunks of floating ice, trying to find seals to hunt. Climate change is affecting the ice that harp seals depend on for breeding, nursing and resting. It is unclear if the terrible ice conditions have already taken most of the young seals, or whether the seals are simply too spread out for sealers to find. Either way, it's not possible under these conditions for the government to accurately assess the current seal population or the true impact of the hunt. To slaughter over 300,000 seals in the face of uncertain ice conditions that may continue for the foreseeable future is beyond irresponsible. Already, the first phase of the seal hunt in the Gulf of St. Lawrence took more than 16,000 seals over their quota for this year. Guns or clubs: the suffering remains the same Rifles are used to kill 90% of the seals on the Front, yet the cruelty continues. Seals are shot, taken onto the boats, skinned, and then tossed back into the ocean. We have already documented several cases of seals being shot, wounded, and then lost under the ice. We caught one poor seal on film that slipped into the Water after it was shot, struggled to stay afloat, and then finally disappeared under the ocean. You can see the latest hunt video diaries and audio podcasts here ( http://www.kintera.org/TR.asp?ID=M715833104642643326622665 ). Five ways you can help stop the seal hunt It's not too late to speak out now and add your voice to the growing international pressure against the seal hunt. It's easy for you to make a real difference: simply visit the Seal Action Center ( http://www.kintera.org/TR.asp?ID=M715833114642643326622665 ) for five different ways to help.

Recipe Summary Cook Time: 1 hour Yield: 8 to 10 servings 1 3/4 cups sugar 1 tablespoon flour 4 eggs 8 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened 1 cup buttermilk 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lime juice 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract 1 tablespoon ground nutmeg Pie Crust, recipe follows Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In metal bowl, combine sugar and flour. In another bowl, lightly beat the eggs and add them to the sugar mixture, combining well. Blend the butter into the mixture using the back of a spoon. Add the buttermilk and blend with a whisk. If the butter has not incorporated by this step set the bowl over a pan of simmering Water to help soften the butter. Add the lime juice, vanilla and nutmeg. Blend well. Slowly pour the custard filling into the pie crust. Set the pie on a baking sheet and place it in the oven for 1 hour. Remove pie and let it cool before cutting. Pie Crust: 1 cup unsalted butter 1 cup solid vegetable shortening 4 cups cake flour 2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup sugar 3 teaspoons Kosher salt Combine the butter, shortening, 2 cups of the cake flour, and 1 cup of the all-purpose flour. Blend together. Stop mixer, scrape the sides and add remaining 2 cups of cake flour and remaining 1 cup of all-purpose flour. Blend to combine completely. Mix sugar and salt into 1/4 cup of the water and add it to the flour mixture. Blend briefly and add the remaining water if needed. The dough should not be overworked and should make a solid piece when held in your hand. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured smooth surface and knead it several times. Divide the dough into portions and flatten it. Wrap unused dough in plastic. Roll out the dough to fit a 9-inch pie pan. Reserve any unused dough in the freezer for another use. Preheat oven to 475 degrees F. Prick bottom and sides of pastry with fork. Bake 12 minutes or until light brown. Cool on wire rack. Does this sound like your recipe?????

I have not been diagnosed yet. I have an appointment with the rhuemotologist(sp) on 4/13 and I am scheduled for surgery 2/19. My primary thinks I have it and I so does my dermotologist but I am waiting the second set of test. I don't know if it matters or not and just wanted to know if anyone else on here has lupus and felt that it made a difference in recovery or the surgery in general. I have not told the surgeon. I am waiting for the second blood test to come back which I should have gotten today. If they come back the same as the first I will obviously tell him but I am hoping its just a vitamin D defiency that they have already put me on meds for.

12 days ago I found out my insurance finally approved my lap band surgery. I know I'm suppose to go on a 2 week liquid diet prior to, however I just received confirmation this past Thursday my surgery is scheduled for March 5th. I don't know if I can lose the 10 pounds in 7 days, but I'm sticking to the liquid diet with no room for error. Is it at all possible to lose 10lbs in 7 days? Also, if I don't what will happen? I don't know what I weigh now, I haven't been weighed since October. How will they determine my weight loss? Can you all please help me with some answers!!!

I had my first follow up appointment today at my 10 day mark and lost 20 pounds since my surgery! I didn't really do much pre-op so I know its a lot of water weight, but seeing that number was awesome! So shocked. I was actually debating on wether or not to look at the scale for my weigh in but I am so glad I did.

Okay, According to this list, I've lost an air conditioner and 2 guinea pigs! What have you lost so far? 1 pound = a Guinea Pig 1.5 pounds = a dozen Krispy Kreme glazed donuts 2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs 3 pounds = an average human brain 4 pounds = an ostrich egg 5 pounds = a Chihuahua 6 pounds = a human skin 7.5 pounds = an average newborn 8 pounds = a human head 10 pounds= chemical additives an American consumes each year 11 pounds = an average housecat 12 pounds = a Bald Eagle 15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs 16 pounds = a sperm whale�s brain 20 pounds = an automobile tire 23 pounds = amount of pizza an average American eats in a year 24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream 25 pounds = an average 2 year old 30 pounds = amount of cheese an average American eats in a year 33 pounds = a cinder block 36 pounds = a mid-size microwave 40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of Water or an average human leg 44 pounds = an elephant�s heart 50 pounds = a small bale of hay 55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner 60 pounds = an elephant�s penis 66 pounds = fats and oils an average American eats in a year 70 pounds = an Irish Setter 77 pounds = a gold brick 80 pounds = the World�s Largest Ball of Tape 90 pounds = a newborn calf 100 pounds = a 2 month old horse 111 pounds = red meat an average American eats in a year 117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she�s 5�11�!) 118 pounds = the complete Encyclopedia Britannica 120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month 130 pounds = a newborn giraffe 138 pounds = potatoes an average American eats in a year 140 pounds = refined sugar an average American eats in a year 144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she�s 5�4�) 150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary 187 pounds = an average adult man 200 pounds = 2 Bloodhounds 235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger 300 pounds = an average football lineman 400 pounds = a Welsh pony

Started full liquids and purees on day 3, soft foods day 10, solid foods day 21. It is crazy how all of our instructions are so different.

I feel your pain! I was banded 9/24 and started getting very hungry about a week out. Didn't help that my husband and everyone around me was eating pizza and burgers and all of the things I can't have. I saw my Dr. on 10/6 which was like 12 days postop, and they moved me on to mushies. I think as long as you can handle it, then its fine. Every surgeon has their preference, I've even heard of people going to mushies on the 3rd day. Since I've been on mushies/soft foods, I feel great!

Sorry I didn't respond. I haven't been on much. Here is something that I have sent to a couple people about what I followed. First...you do need a combo of exercise and food, but I didn't start REALLY exercising until I had lost 50 pounds. My secret...I followed every rule! 1. I NEVER, EVER drink while eating. 2. Proteins first, veggies next ...and then I was pretty much done! I put 1 cup of food on my plate and I ate that. I never learned to stop when I was full. So I still have to treat myself as a 5 year old child. I give myself what I can eat and that is all I do. Yes it takes a lot of self discipline, but the empowerment you get from telling yourself NO will change your life forever. It has made me a better wife, sister, daughter, teacher and friend. I would overwhelm myself in the past and spread myself to thin. Now I can confidently say no, and things are much better. 3. I never deprived myself of any food so as to eliminate any cravings. The only thing I eliminated was rice because I just can't eat it any more. It gets stuck. And milk and ice cream...gone as well...I became lactose intolerant. I would have spaghetti...mostly with just sauce and ground chicken (my secret ingredient in everything), but I would have 6 penne noodles, just so that I didn't feel like I was being left out. 4. I had chocolate everyday...in the form of a pure Protein bar(that is the name of the bar...but I would stay away from the fruit ones...I thought they were disgusting.) It is low carb, high protein and cut the cravings for sweets, because I had one everyday. I get them at wal-mart. Make sure to look for the 190 calorie ones...not the 300 calorie ones! 5. I ate at 4 distinct times everyday. For my schedule (I am a teacher) it was 6:30, 10:30 (my prep period), 2:30 and 6:30. The 2:30 was the Protein Bar. 6. Shhhhh...don't tell...I did NOT focus on Water. I am a scientist...you dont need 64 ounces of water everyday. Drinking makes me hungry, so I only drink a half hour before I eat. I have to drink more now because I am training for a half-marathon. 7. Exercise...Once I added it, I did walking, strength training, elipticalling and now running. In fact yesterday I just ran 10 straight miles. But that has taken me since January to do that. Take it slow...injuries will sideline you for a long time. Don't over do it because you will get angry at the amount of time you have to spend and stop. Start slowly and start to kind of like it. I still will never LOVE it, even though I train 6 days a week. 8. Set attainable goals. Little things that you can Celebrate. 9. Find what works for you. Not everything I did here will work for you. Find what does and you will have solved the mystery for yourself. 10. Make a menu for yourself for the week, and eat only what is on their. On Friday, if you have followed the menu exactly give yourself one food that you would not normally have, but that still fits in your calorie count. Make sure it is not something that will cause you to binge. I have 1 bag of popcorn.

Hey fellow Oct Sleevers, I had an appt yesterday and I am under 30 BMI, which means i am no longer in the obese range, 80 pounds down and I am feeling good. I went to buy me myself a congrats pair of pants and guess what I fit nicely into a size 10! WHAT, I started at a 24/26 and now can fit into a 10! Yay I am so excited, how are you all doing? Here's some before and after pictures!4 years ago1 year ago1 month agoyesterday

I have gotten that from a few folks too. I know I carry a lot of my weight in my lower body, but evidently it hides pretty well in clothes. LOL Though I'm thrilled with a size 12, I know I still have at least 30# to go. Seems like a lot to someone who thinks needing to lose 5# is a chore. I think clothing size isn't a true indicator of success. I will never get below a 10 (and that is pushing it) I'm just not proportioned for it. I usually avoid specific "pounds to go" answers for most people. Its no one's business, but people get nosey. I take it that they care about me, and their "careful" comments are meant to assure me I'm good where I'm at. I assure anyone that is overly concerned that my doctor and I are in sync. But thanks for the unsolicited input. :-)

Hanging out in Northwest Ohio, had my surgery on 3/22/10. I'm down 36lbs, I've had one fill. Loving summer and the new me so far.

yeah! I try to just scratch around it. I'm too scared to remove any steristrip or scratch right on the incision yikes. Around my one big incision, I bruised horribly, I mean so dark purple its almost black. My nurse told me to break open a vitamin E gelpill and rub it on there. I have heard of that before. I went ahead and got some and am trying it. My stomach has looked like a warzone with all the bruises! I was on 10 days post-op lovenox shots in the belly, so I have little (and some big) bruises all over my lower belly "roll" lol. Plus my incisions, plus the bruising around those. Oh yeah and a big hole where the drain was. Warzone.. I'm telling ya. Did you guys all take pics of your bellies as you were healing? I've been taking pics, though I don't know if I'll ever show anyone. lol...