Search the Community

Wow, I can't believe I've missed this thread. My weight gain started around 3 years out. I really wasn't doing anything differently. I would indulge more on the weekends, and gain a couple of lbs. Then all of a sudden, I dieted all week long, and I hadn't lost those 2 lbs, and it was time for the next weekend. Soon it was Christmas.Uh-oh! My labs after 4 years show I am usually anemic even though I take Bariatric Advantage Iron with vit c. My b12 was so high I was instructed to stop all b vitaimins. My vit D is normal after taking 10,000 a week for a long time. rest of my labs are normal. I am never hungry unless I eat a lot of carbs, or I can mistake hunger and acid sometimes. I am 4 years and 4 months out from surgery. I was really afraid I would never be able to lose my regain and I was very depressed about it, until I found the 5:2 plan and I've lost 10 of my 15 lb regain.

Cangel 76 said: "I found Day 3 was the hardest." I am beginning to think this is exactly where I was. Day 3 wasn't exactly the hardest for me, but today's Day 4, and it is decidedly better. I have not had any pain medicine since 9 AM (it is now 2 PM) and when I had it I took a half-dose. So I am encouraged. I have dutifully stayed with the liquids and I can't say that I'm interested in much else. I like the idea of cheese souffle or an omelet, but when I really think about it - not so much! So I'm sticking with what I have been told to do, one day at a time. I do find that I have to attentive to getting too 'empty' of Protein -- I do feel differently after I've had a shake. I also try and make sure that I don't swig down anything, but rather give it five minutes between sips. That seems to help. I also am seeing some loss of the gas- and hospital IV fluid-related weight gain, which is nice. Hoping others are making similar progress! Deb WS

Why am I fat..... I am fat because I have always put everyone in front of myself. A few years back, I was a personal trainer that loved working out. I was engaged and had two wonderful stepsons. While I enjoyed working out, I did not enjoy feeling the pressure to sale, sale, sale that my boss bestowed on me. Also, I didn't enjoy working seven days a week and over 70 hours. While I knew that this profession wasn't right for me, I also knew that it would put my family in a difficult spot so I decided to stick it out. Eventually, my body quit on me and I started getting extremely sick. Turns out I had an underlying thyroid condition and my schedule and lack of sleep brought it to the forefront. Had I have admitted to myself 6 months prior to leaving that I should have left that job things might have been different. This story is a constant pattern in my life. I start living for me and then the guilt sets in. Not because my family or friends make me feel guilty but because I make myself feel guilty. My now husband and stepsons stood by my side even when I quit my job as a personal trainer. They stood by my side through the weight gain, struggles with my thyroid, and now my current battle with PCOS. I suppose i expected everything to be fixed when I left this stressful job and it was pretty difficult to cope when I quickly found out it wasn't. The reason it wasn't and hasn't been is because I have failed to stand by my own side. My friends, family, and co-workers constantly tell me how happy I always seem and what a positive person I am. On the surface that may seem true but internally I tell myself a different story. I have no self-worth, am extremely critical of myself, and often feel guilty for putting me first. After almost a year of "thinking" about having lap band surgery, I finally decided that it was my time to shine and change my life. My surgery date is February the 23rd and I am excited about finally being "selfish" and doing something for myself. I hope that this is the first step in a journey that will lead me to inner peace and contentment. Courtney

I know what you mean regarding control. I think that was a significant factor in my weight gain. When I got married at age 23, I was slim and fit - @125lb, 38-23-34. I made the mistake of marrying a man I didn't know as well as I thought I did and he turned out to be an incredible control freak as well as a violent drunk (he's now an EX ). Our lifestyle changed drastically after the wedding (no more going out dancing all night, full meals every night, etc) and I started to gain a little weight. He used to berate and belittle me every time I ate, so of course I rebelled by eating more and even sneaking food when he wasn't watching. Within a few years, I had gained about 20-30lb and his favourite refrain when slapping me about was "You FAT UGLY PIG!!" (This was at about 140lb!) With my self-esteem crushed, I turned to food for comfort (yeah I know, lots of other issues there, but that was significant). By the time I got out of the marriage 8 years later, I was about 160lb - overweight but not huge. I can clearly remember the first four years of being single again, when I did things like hang out in the refrigerator at night saying things like "Haha! Watch me eat this!! You can't stop me now!!" I deliberately put on the fat suit, partly because of that "defiance" aspect and partly because I wanted to keep men away - both were desperate attempts at taking a measure of control in my life. By the end of 4 years of single life, I had put on another 60lb and was around 220lb. At that stage, I sought therapy for my issues with self-esteem, the marriage and how I had managed to get myself into that situation. The therapy helped a lot and I really came to terms with who I was and how I had arrived there, but unfortunately the fat suit wasn't as easy to take off as it was to put on. Since then, I went through various stages of dieting and failure, and thinking I had accepted the weight and settled for being a "fat person" forever. I slowly yo-yoed my way up another 55lb until I hit my all time high of 275lb last year (15 years post-marriage). Now that I have made the change and been banded, I realise that I had never really accepted it and I am now finding comfort in having the control to be able to take the weight off. I'm looking forward to finding the "real me" under this fat suit.

Aubrie... did the endo look at whether you have PCOS? I was diagnosed almost 30 years ago and my daughter has it too. One of the problems with PCOS is that you gain weight, seemingly for no reason. Coupled with this I had terrible sugar cravings. My doctor at the time told me 2 things: "lose weight" and "when you want to get pregnant we can help you." Not much help really. I couldn't stick with a diet long enough to lose and I got pregnant without his help. LOL Anyway, last year I saw a TV show about a woman who gained no matter what she did. Turned out she had PCOS, but now days they actually try treating it with medication. I finally asked my current doctor about it and she prescribed the same meds for me. I cannot say it made me lose more than a couple pounds but it TOTALLY helped with the sugar cravings and I stopped gaining, which is at least something. Between the lack of cravings and the band I feel like I finally have the tools for success available to me. I'm going for my band May 2nd. Woohoo!!! :clap2: One last thing. I found out yesterday at my psych eval that there are antidepressants that CAUSE weight gain. Don't know if this is a factor for you or not... but I was sure surprised to hear it. Good luck with everything.

Lifestyle more than anything else has been my problem. I had a wonderful childhood, great mother and family. Up until the last few years I have been very active, played lots of golf and worked 100 hour weeks for 30 years. I was able to do so because I required little sleep and in general was in very good health considering my weight. . I strongly feel that my problem was that I was on the road a lot and relied mostly on fast food (about 2/3 of all meals). I graduated from high school weghing 180 pounds From 1965 to 1988 I gained about 250 pounds. Since 1988 I am down about 30 pounds from a high of about 475. In retrospect I was gaining about 1 pound a month, that's a little over 100 calories a day. I have a wife who also is heavy and loves to snack at night, an additional problem since seeing her eat triggered my appetite. Looking back it seems that it would have taken so little to avoid my tremendous weight gain, eliminating a piece of bread, soda etc daily would have made a huge difference. Since 1988 I have needed to change eating habits to keep from gaining and aditional weight. At first it was eliminating the soda, then late night snacking etc. Now I eat a very heathy diet with very few refined carbs and that is what is required simply to stay even. I am due for lapband surgery soon and hopefully I can drop enough weight to start exercising so I can increase my metabolism. As you would expect I have constant back pain and joint problems. Moving from the midwest to the Northwest has been an eye opener. There is no question that there is more emphasis here on a healthy life style. People are far more active and make better eating choices. I also now have many neighbors from their 40's to mid 80's who are extremely fit. My friends back in the midwest were all heavy, ate lots of unhealthy food and exercised little. For years I passed the buck and simply blamed genetics and thought that poeple who were thin were simply born with "skinny genes". I am sure that helps, but my neighbors are all very disiplined about exercising and they eat very healthy diets, that more than anything else accounts for difference between us. So friends, in my case lifestyle and lack of self disipline has been my downfall.

I was fat because I ate more calories than my body burned. That simple. But in all honesty, it all started with a brain tumor (on my pituitary gland) which basically wreaked havoc on my hormones and adrenal functions. But once that got treated I still found it difficult to lose because I'd developed all kinds of bad habits when going throguh the terrible depressing 200+ pound weight gain in a 6-month period from the tumor. Anyway, that's behind me. It's up to me to lose the rest and, with the band, I know I can!

Well for me, being fat has been a life long struggle. From childhood to age 17 I was VERY active, on soccer teams, dance, tap, cheerleading, gymnastics, then when I was in 7th grade my school started a swim team. I always loved to swim and I thought I was pretty good, so I tried out, and I made it, from 7th grade until when I dropped out in 11th, I was a competitive swimmer. I worked out 6x a week 2-3 hours a day. And guess what? I was the second biggest girl on the team! I wasn't consuming huge amounts of food besides the night before a meet when we carb loaded. After I dropped out, that's when things went downhill. I started realizing that there was something wrong, like why couldn't I be a normal size when I was working out so much. Well then came college a few months later, and being such a shy person, I didn't ever want to go to the gym alone, so I rarely went. Then I left that school, got a job, had no means of working out really. Then I was back in school, but still didn't work out, and basically I haven't really worked out since I left high school. I did discover that the constant weight gain was due to PCOS, and that I was almost fighting a losing battle. Finding out about the PCOS was such a breakthrough it explained a lot, like dark black facial hair, yeah, how embarrassing. Late 2008 I finally decided to look into weight loss surgery. Now I'm STILL trying to get surgery, having difficulty due to stupid doctors who are big babies, or assholes. But I'm close.

Wow, as I read through these threads, my heart goes out to those of you who suffered abuse at the hands of those who should love you most...your family. I am proud of you all for making the strides in life that you obviously have...AMAZING!!! My "why am I FAT" story is different. I was raised in a loving environment, was catered to with my eating, if I didn't like what was for dinner, my Mom made me something else. I remained thin my entire childhood. My Dad struggles with his weight, but nothing like where I am now, he is 6'4" and has topped out at 250 pounds, and he exercises, and watches what he eats, and keeps it under 230. He has serious health issues with his arteries and heart, so he is very into keeping it under control. My Mom is a little heavy, nothing extreme, has never had to buy plus sizes! My only brother is stick thin, and well over 40 yrs. old. he was injured in a car accident when he was 18, and is mentally challenged now, although coping and living independently, and self supporting (more than many "normal" people seem able to do!). Now me...as I say, I was very thin, through my childhood, first marriage, having a child, back down to under 150 lbs, and at 5'9" that was fine. Then I made a massive mistake, and married my 2nd husband. He was abusive from the beginning, he broke both my bones and my spirit for awhile. People always ask why I stayed. When my ex would get in a rage, he would threaten my family...not just me. He would say things like maybe it was time to pay my brother a visit, or go tell my Grandparents a thing or 2. So I stayed and took it. THEY did not marry him I did, I could not be responsible for getting them hurt. And he would do it, he threatened a friend, and hospitalized him. So I beleived. Well, into the marriage a couple of years, he wanted to move to TX, I saw it as my way out, I had no family in Texas for him to threaten me with, so we moved. One day as I was biding my time, we were in the laundry area of our apt. complex when this overweight woman come in, and he tells me, "if you ever gain weight like that you are GONE!" And the mold was set, I did everything in my power to gain, I ate butter straight out of the Country Crock tub! And then I found Weight Gain through GNC........well true to his word, he hated it, and the beatings got worse. I finally made arrangements for my daughter (from the first marriage--who's Dad had now also moved out of state) to go visit Grandma back in NM. And I was ready to make my move to leave. Things did not go real well, he went into yet another rage, and did his best to kill me. 7 stab wounds, and 3 broken bones later, I finally managed to leave...albeit by ambulance, but he was on the run, and I was OUT!! I was elated! I flew home the day I was released from the hospital. But my eating to be "unseen" had just begun. I no longer trusted my judgement in men or anything else for that matter. I did not want anyone to look at me. Being fat was fine. I found a friend in food. And so I ate, ate and ate some more!! Meanwhile they finally found and arrested my husband, and I had to go back for the trial. But they locked him away for awhile on an attempted murder charges. He eventually got out, and come back to New Mexico and harrassed me, but has finally been locked up again for assault on a P.O. and an armed robbery and shooting with the intent to kill, which was his final felony strike, so will not even be eligible for parole until 2036. I feel safe. But habits had been born, and nurtured, and still I ate. A lot!! I love potatoes...fried, mashed, any way... chips, comfort foods, are (were!!!) my big downfall. But also finances played a part. When I was struggling to restart after all of this, I knew a nice lean piece of meat and a salad was healthier for my daughter and I, but macaroni & cheese out of a box and hot dogs were what the budget allowed. And ill fitting teeth following mine being knocked out, made pasta and potatoes much easier to eat. Well way back when between husband #1 and husband #2 I met a man and I do mean a MAN...made of what ALL men should be made of! We dated, even lived together for awhile, but he was off to school in the big city, and I could not go (divorce restrictions on leaving the state with our daughter), so we went our separate ways. I continued through the years to be in contact with his family. Well one night he called me out of the blue. We talked for 5 hours on the phone. For the first time I felt ashamed about my looks. I told him, he seemed to be unconcerned. He come to town, and once again took control of my heart. He has never, ever said one negative thing about my weight. But he is of normal weight for his height, and is quite active. He loves his motorcycle and wants me to go with him to ride, and I feel like everyone is looking at me. He wanted to buy me leathers for the bike, I told him it would take 10 cows! We have been married now for 7 years, and I am finally happy again, and trust him, and eventually my own judgement, and I no longer feel the need to hide behind this. Now the decision was easy.....doing it will be much harder. Hubby supports the decision, and will be right by my side as I go through it on the 24th of this month. He has changed his own habits to help me along already. He has begun making lunch while at work his big meal, and therefore we have a light dinner. I feel ready for this next step, and look forward to feeling what you all have talked about as you lose the weight. As I go forward with this I look forward to the support I am sure I will find here!! Kat

I started gaining weight in my late teens early twenties, just a little bit at a time. As an early mid teen I did some modelling, and wanted to become a model. At 5'9" I was just 135lbs. The modelling agency I wanted to sign with wanted me to drop 10lbs and 3 inches off my 37" hips. I decided I didn't want to model, since I felt Ideally I actually needed to gain 5-10 pounds at that time, and definitely didn't think I could lose and still be healthy. I was a loner, I was shy, I was unpopular. Kids, particularly other girls used to tease me a lot, they used to call me a lot of names, stuck up, slut, whore, - I didn't know what I had done 'wrong' - my family constantly reassured me saying they were just jealous, they told me I was beautiful and smart. I got good grades, and modelling offers didn't I? and a lot of attention from boys and men, which when I ignored the cat calls and 'attention' - I got those remarks again - stuck up, bitch... the reaction from guys who don't have their attentions returned. Hell, I was a kid, I was shy. I wanted to be liked. I was smart... I decided to try being less smart, less pretty. I started gaining weight, the less smart I seemed, and the more weight I gained, the more I seemed to be accepted. In college the girls were less catty, I didn't seem to stand out so much, I started to feel a little more normal somehow. I still wasn't obese, I was plump, I still felt pretty. I don't think any of it was a super conscious decision, at least with the weight gain, I did 'dumb myself down' intentionally on occasion. I was torn in two directions all the time, I wanted to be smart and pretty, and I didn't. I was torn between wanting to please people, and wanting to strive for perfection, I was pretty mucked up. I got into a relationship with a not so nice guy, he didn't treat me very well, my self esteem took a turn for the worse, and I gained a little more weight, I had crept up to about 175, It's funny, because I felt fat then, now I would be unbelievably thrilled to be 175!. I broke up with him, plateaued for a while, got together with an unbelievably wonderful man, who I've been together with now for 13 years. After a couple of years in that relationship my first episode of depression hit me, I gained during that, and found myself around 200 or so pounds. My weight stabilized when I came out of that depression, and then fluctuated up and down around 30-40 pounds at a time. I got involved in martial arts, kickboxing, worked my way up to a high blue belt, just two belts away from a black belt, I was teaching lower belt levels and working at that dojo, and training with my hubby all the time, I was down to a lean muscular 190lbs for a lot of that time. I had a number of crises happen in my life then, some deaths of very close loved ones, a lot of loss. I spiraled into depression again, this one extrememly severe. I was suicidal, made several attempts over the course of a year and a half, and spend weeks, sometimes months at a time hospitalized. I went on disability from work, and we entered into bankruptcy because of it, it kept the cycle of depression kicking for a while, it took a long time for them to find a chemical cocktail of anti-depressants that worked for me. Having spend months at a time doing nothing but laying in a hospital bed curled up in a little ball, basically bedrest, no activity, completely unable to do anything at my worst times, my metabolic rate and my cardio and my physical health deteriorated rapidly along with my mental/emotional health. All the medications I take are ones linked to weight gain, they lower your metabolism, they cause you to feel hungry all the time, crave carbs, overheat easily making excersize difficult, they make you tired and lethargic, still 100 times better than me without medication though. I've tried many many meds and med combinations, the one I'm on now is the best. I'm still unable to work, I still am depressed, but I feel functional, I get some enjoyment out of life, I'm able to do somethings, it seems it's about as good as it gets for now. Most people on the type of meds I take, according to my psychiatrist, gain 50-150lbs... I topped out at 295. I went from teaching kickboxing, to not being able to walk a block without struggling. My blood pressure skyrocketed, I'm on meds for that, and my cholesterol creeping higher all the time. I felt so physically ill from carrying this weight, pains in my joints, my knees and back, tired all the time, and feeling like I'm dying bit by bit. I consulted with my family doctor, my psychiatrist, and the lap-band surgeon, and got the opinion of a second psychiatrist as well, the consensus, the lap band is a good choice for me. It may take me a little more work to contend with given my medications and things, but it has given me something that is the most valuable gift to any depressive person... hope. I'm just two weeks past surgery now, and I feel healthier and more energized than I have in years. Thank you everyone for sharing such personal stories about yourselves, it's helpful to read. XO Leila

I'm Laura, a low bmi self pay who's decided to give myself a tool in my arsenal in my lifelong battle against obesity. I'm just tired of fignting so dang hard and never feeling satisfied no matter how much I eat. All of my siblings are at least 100 lbs overweight, and I'm close to being there myself. I know I could wait a few years, gain 25 lbs, and get my insurance to pay for everything...BUT...this is not how I want to live my "one wild and precious life" I'm turning forty in a few months, and feel 40 years of scratching and clawing in a constantly losing battle of weight loss and weight gain is just about enough. My surgery is the day before Thanksgiving, and I'm nervous and excited. Mostly nervous because I'm afraid that once again, I'll blow it. I know the band is not a handful of magic beans, that it is a weight loss aid, and I still have to eat right and exercise. That said, I'm so comitted to doing my part. New lease on life. New stomach, new me. hee hee.

I am 24 and had mine on 3/16. I'm worried about the excess skin. Once I start exercising again I don't expect it to be a huge problem. I anticipate muscle mass to develop, which will cause a HEALTHY form of weight gain. I hope exercising will mediate the excess skin problem.

</blockquote><br> I've lost 25 pounds. Sleeved on 6/18. I have been stalled for 2 weeks now. I am disappointed because I thought I would have lost more by now. Any suggestions on how to break a stall? I've lost 57 lbs. sleeved on June 11. Weight loss has been slowing down but that is likely to the fact that I have not exercised. Started at 435 lbs and still not light enough for working out "back issues", Getting between 700-900 calories and 60 - 70 grams of protein daily. Still struggling with fluid intake, but fighting the good fight. I weigh myself once per week ever since I had several days of weight gain and felt depressed. Overall I have had great success with weekly weigh ins. Good Luck All!

Thank you. Everyone has been congratulating me.. I see a myriad of doctors/specialists regularly. It's hard to feel like I accomplished something given I've been fighting off the health effects of being a dumbass for years, and only now am I on the verge of finally being perfectly healthy. But being realistic, I think I'll be happy when I'm off my last medication.. metoprolol, beta blocker for heart rate and BP. Post-op it's been 100-120/60-90, but I think my doctors/specialists want to see it on the lower end of that permanently before taking me off this. RHR has regularly been 50-80.. so I don't think that's much an issue anymore. As far as my daughter goes, and our future kids, definitely being aware of what they eat, and minimizing the junk carbs from the diet. My wife has PCOS and has been losing weight seeing me lose a bunch of it, and from all those months of me begging her to stop eating so many carbs so she doesn't go through what I did with my enormous weight gain in such a short timespan. Women seem to have a tougher time losing it.

@@ShelterDog64 Thank you! I guess it was a bit touchy for me since she has also gone through WLS as well. I think my surgeon's office is ultra conservative/scare tactics as it relates to paving the way for success/failure prevention. On the one hand, I get it and I don't want to be coddled. I need to be afraid of slipping into habits that led to my problems because surgery does not prevent future weight gain. On the other hand, at early stage I kind of need a little more sunshine up my @ss so to speak.

Update: Third trimester!!! So far so good!!! Baby is healthy! Mom is healthy!!! Due to my being a Bariatric patient the glucose testing has been altered. Testing glucose levels 4 times a day, first fasting and 2 hours after every meal for 7 Days. So far so good. Ready to ride this last stretch out with minimal weight gain and a happy and healthy mom and new baby girl💜💕💞🙏🏽 Total wt gain thus far=10-14lbs. 😔

This is the approach that I use: I strictly avoid processed sugars. I have a sweet tooth and that is one of the major causes that contributed to my weight gain over my lifetime. I limit myself to artificial sweeteners (such as Splenda and sugar alcohols), to natural low calorie sweeteners (such as Stevia) and to the natural sugars found in fruits and milk. I had diabetes. That went into remission when I left the hospital two days after surgery and I have not taken any diabetic medicine ever since and my blood sugar levels are good. I test my blood sugar levels periodically. [Currently over 5 years post-op] I read the labels of all food that I consume. I look at the grams of sugar per serving. If it is above 5 grams, I look at the ingredients. The ingredients are listed in order by highest percentage, and if the first 5 ingredients contain processed sugar (in any of its many forms), then I avoid this food, like a plague. I also restrict myself to about one meal per day containing complex carbohydrates (such as pasta and bread). I also avoid all carbonated beverages. I lost 20 pounds pre-op solely on eliminating carbonated beverages from my diet and I will not go back.

Hello everyone! It's been quite some time. This thread is pretty much dead. But if any of you are still around, I thought I'd share... My second LapBand placed in Feb 2009 became disconnected!! I mean really?? How many LapBands should one girl have to mess with? LOL....so, I started gaining weight pretty fast and had to bicker quite a bit with the insurance company. But ultimately I was approved to have the Band removed and get the Vertical Sleeve. I had surgery almost 2 weeks ago and so glad it's over. I am so frustrated with the weight gain, but so glad that there won't be any more fills/unfills or getting stuck!! I'm on the mend and tired of mushies....for the third time! hahaha I hope all is going well for the rest of you!!! Best to all, Carol

Rene, my 25th reunion is in 2 years as well, never thought about it till you pointed it out. When I was in HS I weighed over 300 lbs (at graduation)... When I went back for my 10 year reunion, I weighed 150 lbs. BLEW their socks off because the cheerleaders got ugly, the jocks got fat and bald and I just got BETTER Okay well I'm back up over 100+ lbs and I refused to go to my 20th year just because of my weight gain. :devious ***evil grin*** :devious guess I'll be going to my 25th

dang it I just got a KIND reminder that I enrolled in BOOT CAMP!!! I totally forgot to weight in..I had a 13 hour work day on 4/10 and forgot to post my weight. I am going to Contours tomorrow and will get my measurements and weight taken there. I have a scale here and it too will calculate my Weight and BMI I just an usually NAKED when I do it and feel like that is cheating..so I will do it dressed infront of a stranger..... let me go weigh really quick.....DAMN>>I do need to be here...I am back up to 257!!!! THat is 4; F-O-U-R pound weight GAIN!!! OK I am going to do ANOTHER total sweep out of the Pantry and kitchen..absolutely no junk... if you want it dear BF go to the store and buy a single freaking searving and dont you dare bring it back into this house!!!! I cant wait for the weather to be warm enough to get back in the pool!!!! COME ON SUNSHINE!!!! Sarge...sorry to report that I too will be a problem child for you.... my sincerest appologies in advance.... I will post my weight and measurements tomorrow . Good luck to everyone...

wow, what a letter, packed with questions, and realizations and guilt and everything in between. Welcome!!! I think in AA thats what they call the first step! I am less than 2 weeks post op and already, even after 2 weeks of liquids and major surgery I would not change a thing. Only regret is that this was not available to me in my 30's. I am now 52 and Thank God it's available now. This is a life changing TOOL that will help you get to a healthy weight. If your dr. doesn't agree, change Dr's! The older you get, the faster the co-morbidity issues come up. The one thing my lap band group was adament about was smoking, they will not treat you if you are a smoker, they feel it does nothing but hinder recovery. I quit a year and a half ago, and never regret doing so. I used a "magic Pill" called Chantix, that from day one was a miracle for myself and my husband. We both were 30+ year smokers, we have both quit and never looked back. I did gain weight, but that weight gain was what brought me to the lap band surgery in the first place. If I were still a smoker I wouldn't have felt I needed to loose weight, that 25 lbs I gained put me over the edge and I felt I needed help to loose. (does that make sense??) Where in upstate NY are you? I am in the Rochester area....are you close to me? I wish you luck, I hope you make that first phone call and get the ball rolling, keep up that determination and all else will fall into place. Carol

WOW! Everyone is just doing so great!!! I'm so proud of all of you, and I have to admit...a little bit jealous. Judy - I hope you catch this before you leave...I know you've been looking forward to this trip for a long time! I know ya'll will have a wonderful time...enjoy every minute and recognize all of the reasons to celebrate! I am facing quite a challenge here in the next few weeks. And I gotta let you all know what's going on so that you can help me when I start whining!! That's your job, right? :car: Ok, so here's the story: Back in the fall of 2003 I quit smoking, started menopause and fell off the low-carb wagon. Triple Whammy DeLuxe. I went from 158-200# in about 18 months. I was pretty frantic but nothing I did helped with the weight. At some point my screwed up, desperate brain decided it would be OK to start smoking again to help control my weight....so I ruined my quit. It did help slow down my weight gain...but now, of course, I have to deal with quitting again. I've been taking Chantix (a new drug to help you quit) and it's working pretty well. Today is my first day without cigarettes and so far, so good. The REASON I mention all this stupid stuff is that I kind of expect over the next few weeks to be a tad bit cranky, maybe a little depressed, I'll probably even have MORE of a struggle losing weight, and might even gain! I'm going to try real hard to keep it under control and just DO what I need to DO, but I don't know if I have it in me without the crutch of cigarettes. We'll see. So, wish me luck on all fronts!! Ultimately I'm really hoping that with improved lung capacity I can kick up my cardio workouts...but that'll just help me 'break even' metabolically. It could be a rough ride. <sign> :help:

I've been doing a little reading. In the book, Bob Green's Total Body Makeover on page 62 it says "...As you become more active and drink more water, you muscles will retain water. The primary culprit here is glycogen, a form of carbohydrate that's stored in your muscles and is the main fuel for exercise. The more active you are, the more glycogen your muscles will retain and thus the more water you'll hold on to: Each gram of glycogen stores an additional 2.5 grams of water. What's more, the fitter you become, the more glycogen you store. This initial water weight gain can be disheartening, but hang in there. Water-weight gain will cover up the body fat losses that you will be experiencing. After a few weeks, you will begin to see the fat loss. And the reality is, this is a part of charging up you metabloism, which will ultimately lead to an increase in your fat-burning power." So think about it, you are doing weight training and building more muscle. More muscle, more glycogen, thus more water weight. That'w why it is necessary to measure yourself. The very fact that you are wearing smaller sizes shows that you are losing. Another point he brings up is: "Did you know that your body allows for only about a loss of three pounds of fat per week? Sure, you can lose water and muscle tissue that's how quick-fix diets thaqt promise you'll drop a lot of pounds instantly work, but you don't want to. ...but in general losing one pound or even a half pound a week means that you aare losing in a way that can last." A added more grains to my diet and seem to be more regular now. My weight loss may be a little slower but I know I'm healthier and I'm down 2 sizes. In fact I measured my neck last night and have lost 1-1/2 inches in a month. Now that's what I'm talking about!!!:clap2:

Morning Violets~ This is an interesting line of thinking. Self-esteem. I've been chubby since I was about 6. It began w/ the divorce when I was 5, through "time on the couch", I've learned that my weight gain is a result of my "abandonment issues"...stemming from the divorce and a young mom who was somewhat emotionally unavailable. Anywho...I started "chubbing up". My mom always told me I was beautiful, smart, and that I could be the president if I wanted. I mean it. If I ever got in trouble, it was not my fault, but "your g-damn friends...". My weight was never an issue...I was beautiful. I had what I coined "reverse anorexia". I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful woman. I never felt fat. Now, I knew that I was "bigger" than most, but it never hindered me. I got every job I ever wanted...every man I ever wanted (yes, I used to date men)...and everything I ever wanted. My weight was a non issue. I was just fabulous as I was. I actually wrote to Oprah and said she should do a show about "reverse anorexia"...that when I look in the mirror, I saw a sexy woman, not the weight. At 240 pounds, I still felt fearless. I was sexy...and loving life. But it was the last 30 pounds that I started feeling fat. My body changed, and I wasn't proportionate anymore. You all know the rest. I got the band. But it is interesting to note how self-esteem governs our lives, and thoughts. Ta Ta For Now (TTFN)

food has been sucky for me lately. I have really good restriction but I have way too much of a sweet tooth (and that is rare for me). I am being really strict about my diet right now but I am hungry almost all the time. I think it is my anti-anxiety/depression meds. This is what happened the last time I was on it before I was banded. I was hungry all the time and made really poor food choices. I am going to hold off going to the doctor until I can start running again and see if it goes away. If not we are going to have to change the medication. This is true hunger feelings. My stomach growls and I get nauseated if I don't eat. However when I feel it I wait for at least an hour to see if it will go away. I drink during that time to make sure that I am not thirsty. I didn't have these feelings before I was on the meds so I am begining to think that perhaps this is the problem. I haven't been under too much stress (except yesterday and this morning with the class numbers!) so I am not sure what is going on. My weight is fluctuating like crazy depending on what I eat. If I eat very many carbs I retain Water and the scale jumps up 5-7 pounds. If I don't eat any carbs then I lose the water weight and it drops back down. My clothes still fit just like they did when I bought them so frankly I don't khow what the heck is going on. I finally told DH to take the scale out of the bathroom and I am back to just weighing 1 time per week. The PS wanted me weighing everyday after surgery so that we could monitor swelling. But I think the swelling is pretty good now so I can safely go back to 1 time per week. Hopefully that way I wont see the wide swings. Serious on Saturday I was at 148 and then Sunday morning I was at 141. Go figure!! I try not to read the side effects of medications until I start feeling something being off and then I will go check them out after I have tried to eliminate everything else. Lots of people claim to have serious hunger issues and weight gain on Effexor as well as water retention. So it could be a possibility that it is the meds. But like I said I am going to hold off and see if the running helps. I don't want to go back to the obssessive/anxious feelings that I had before, but I certainly don't want to start gaining weight. I am going to be working 2 jobs for the first part of the school year so I am not going to have the time to frantically count calories and be as obsessive as I was at the end of last school year so I need to find a happy medium. Well best get back to test writing. I have 1 and 1/2 tests to write and then I am done with the crappy part. The fun part is putting together the lessons and activities. Test writing...not so much fun!