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Yes I am mostly sipping. Sometimes I may be drinking too quickly. Maybe it is the cold. But I so get it even with sipping. This is new too...it was not happening in the first two weeks. Oh also not always alot of time between sips. I'm a thirsty girl. 😅

I feel awful that you all went through this, but thankful at the same time because now I know I'm not alone. Please tell me if went away after a few weeks! I was so happy to be able to progress to the soft food diet, only to go back to liquids after a few days because the idea of eating made me sick. You'd think I'd be able to hit my fluid goals at least but the closest I've gotten is 48 ounces.

Okay - I have a one month update! This has been a difficult month! I had my surgeries on December 15, 2023, and I got a tummy tuck with fleur-de-lys, 360 liposuction, Brazilian butt lift, breast lift / reduction with implants, and arm lift for both arms. It was a lot! I spent the first week recovering in Tijuana in the recovery house, and then flew home to Seattle on Dec. 21. I had two drains, one on either side on my groin area. The plane ride introduced the first main issue I had. The left-side drain got yanked in transit and by the time I got home it had come out. The right-side drain wasn't far behind it; it had come so far out that I accidentally tripped on it on 12/22 and that one came out as well. Now I was drainless but still had a TON of excess fluid with no easy place to drain from. So, all that excess fluid escaped out of the easiest places possible - basically all my nicely sewn up tummy along my fleur-de-lys stitches! I went to the ER; I was so scared that first night - I thought any small movement, my belly was gonna split open and spill my intestines on the ER floor, and of course I also had a cough and every coughing fit made me very scared. The ER doctor dressed my wounds that had opened up and reassured me that my belly wasn't going to split open. The next business day, I scheduled an appointment with a plastic surgeon and wound care in my doctor's office. Basically, my wounds were: Left breast: two large wounds along the vertical incision line; one wound at the T-junction under my breast (this one becomes important later) Abdomen: an 1-inch-long split along the fleur-de-lys line above my belly button; split near the bottom of my belly button Lower abdomen: 2-inch long by 2-inch wide by 1-inch deep triangular hole at the T-junction where the fleur-de-lys incision meets the tummy tuck; 2-inch long seam opening along my groin / right hip Various small wounds on my arms, tummy, and hips My back healed perfectly! I met with the plastic surgeon and he recommended ways of dressing everything until I could be seen by wound care on January 5. In the meantime, I had developed an abscess behind one of my wisdom teeth and had to have them pulled. I scheduled that for January 5 also because I'm a glutton for punishment, but I opted for just laughing gas cuz I needed to be clear-headed for my wound care appointment after. Remember that T-junction left breast wound? Well, that started to open up wider and wider in the week leading up to wisdom teeth / wound care day. It was leaking a ton of fluid, and I could see something black inside the wound, which I initially thought was some form of necrosis. January 5 came, the dentist yanked my three wisdom teeth, and me and my designated driver headed over to wound care. Well, wound care was just as stumped as I was because it felt plasticky and they could shine light through it. They had never seen it before at wound care, but turns out my left implant was deciding to be an explant... and needed to be taken out. 😞Wound care patched me up great and sent me over to my plastic surgeon to discuss the implant. Because I had literally had my wisdom teeth out that day, they couldn't do the surgery to take out my implant until the following week. I was really sad and went through all the stages of grief, including bargaining, with the plastic surgeon. I asked what my options were for saving the implant and he said it looks like it has to come out. I said "Looks like, so there's a chance it can stay in?" Nope. I also asked about my options for removing the right-side implant in the same surgery so there's at least symmetry. He said that because the right-side isn't infected or splitting open, insurance won't cover the right implant removal. This was the first time I stopped crying and grinned up at him, "So I have a week to get the right side infected, yeah?" 🤣 Nope, again. The plan was to just get both breasts (and literally EVERYTHING ELSE) healed, and address the asymmetry later. I got my left implant removed on January 11. While I was under, my plastic surgeon also removed a ton of exposed stitches from my various wounds that allowed them to heal up so much faster. My implant was small, just 285 cc's, and while there is a visible difference in my boob sizes, it's not too bad for now. I'm going to decide later whether I want to re-implant the left side or explant the right. So that's my very long one-month update! It's been a crazy wild ride. Oh!!!! I also don't regret it! Other than the whole left-breast-implant-loss-thing, that is. I feel amazing in my body; in fact, I was just telling my therapist that I finally feel like I exist in my body for the first time in my whole life! They excised about 18 pounds of excess skin in all, and I am still a little swollen and losing water and wearing my stage 2 fajas. I'm so happy I had these surgeries! With as much as I had done, it went about as well as can be expected, and one loss in what like ten surgeries? I'll take those odds. 😉 ~Kukui

There is nothing wrong with you... First, when we have surgery, a lot of nerves are cut that need time to heal. These are the nerves that tell us we are full, or getting full. So you are not getting accurate feedback from your stomach right now. These cut nerves take several months to heal fully. I noticed a distinct change in my fullness cues around 3 months out. Second--just because you CAN eat that amount doesn't mean you SHOULD (I'm so thankful the regulars here remind us all of this early post-op). You aren't getting accurate messages about your restriction right now, and different foods will cause different feelings of restriction or lack thereof. Try to stick to the small portions your dietician should have gone over with you. You have a lot of sutures holding your healing tummy together, you don't want to stress them. Take your time here, there is no rush. Third--different foods will cause different feelings of fullness. Purees often don't cause fullness, even meat purees. When you get into soft foods you might start to feel restriction when you eat denser proteins. But again, your stomach is still healing, so it may take time to feel your restriction, and some people never feel strong restriction, or don't feel it until they are overly full. This is where it is important to measure out your portions and eat tiny bites, slowly, watching for any signs of fullness. For us post op that may feel very different than it did pre-op. For me, for the first few months, all I would get is violent sneezing, intense hiccups, runny nose, etc... It took a while before I started feeling internal pressure with fullness. Fourth--Hunger is a b***h! Some people lose it, not everyone does. I woke up in recovery STARVING!! I was so mad. 😂I felt like I'd been given a faulty surgery. LOL But it really made me learn to work with my hunger cues and to sit with the discomfort of being hungry for a while. I was very, very hungry the first few weeks because nothing feels like it has enough substance to calm that ravenous hunger. This will ease in time as you progress your diet. For now all you can do is learn to distinguish head hunger from body hunger and learn to deal with the fact that sometimes we feel hungry and that's okay. Lastly, many people can drink water freely post op. You don't list your surgery, but this is very common with gastric bypass patients, though I have seen it with sleeve patients too. Once the internal swelling goes down, many can drink water easily. This is a blessing, since dehydration is the #1 reason bariatric patients end up in the ER post op!

I woke up hungry in post op recovery... It really annoyed me. LOL Some of us never lose our hunger with surgery. The stomach growling is normal and it isn't always a sign you are hungry. These are just digestive sounds and since your digestive system is spending more time empty, the sounds are louder and more frequent. Swelling can impact this too. For the first two weeks whenever I drank I felt like it was going down a drain, I could feel the displacement of air and even heard gurgling! It was soooo strange! As has been said above, once you are in the soft food stage and food is staying in your stomach longer, these sounds might ease up.

Wow! 65lbs is awesome. I had RNY on Oct 23. I am down 42lbs. I have had complications and my surgeon was not listening to me. I get five hour stomach aches if I try to eat food. They just sent me for a barium swallow test and sure enough… I have a stricture. Stenosis (narrowing) of the passage that leads from the stomach to the intestine. So this gets blocked and food cant get through easily. They have put me back on fluids and puree and I am absolutely miserable. I would give anything to be able to just eat food again. I go next Wed for the procedure to try to open the passage. They insert a balloon during an endoscopy and try to stretch the passage open. Im hopeful but they told me it may need to be done several times over a few months for it to work. It sounds like you are able to eat much more than most of the folks I see posting on the fb surgery weightloss support groups. If you are super active working 50 hours then maybe you can burn it off and be ok. Stalls are normal. Everybody says that. I even have them and Im literally eating no food. You would think I would be losing way more. Nope. My body wants to hold it. I track my measurements though because I did notice that even when the scale doesnt go down… the measurements are going down. There is a really cool and inexpensive tape measurer that works with an app. I got that and it tracks the measurements for me. Its all digital. I love it! Check out the app. It’s called Renpho Health. Maybe tracking measurements will make you feel better when that azzhole of a scale aint budging. lol Best of luck to you.

Here to give you hugs and a shoulder. I have dealt with the 3 week stall and I’m just here to say, before you know it it’ll be over. Think about when was it the last time you even lost 13lbs in a month? Even in my best place with diet and exercise I can say that was a stretch. But also, this really isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon. We are in it for the long haul though our brains feel like this “tool” is an instant fix. It is probably harder around the holidays and I truly can’t say I’ve had to experience that end so early on, but just remember that the holidays are about so many other things. Hold on to the experiences outside of food. Remember that the food is truly not going anywhere and think of how you feel (and look) this time next year. Reach back to your whys. The greater reasons why we did this to begin with. I can’t help too much with full on menus, but one thing that helped a lot with puréed to soft was the ricotta bake. It felt like pizza/lasagna after I was sick of all the sweeter liquids and broths. It feels eternal now, but it will be such a small blip of time before you know it. Much love and wishing you a happy holiday and strength.

I sent a message to my bariatric office along with some pics. They said it looks fine to them and it is possibly my immune system just being in overdrive slightly. I did also send the pic of the blisters around my CGM sensor to my diabetic office to see if there's anything in particular I can do for that one. The response was to spray Flonase on my skin and allow it to try before attaching a sensor. So I guess that means I need to take my sensor off. I'll deal with it in a bit. Too much energy to walk up the stairs at the moment. Next stress on the list - I return to school for my masters degree on the 26th. Timing, y'all. LOL But in good news for me, World of Warcraft's new expansion hits early release for those of us crazy enough to preorder tonight. So I'll have something to keep me entertained hopefully while I'm taking times of rest. (Also time to mute all the people so that no one spoils anything for me.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @ShoppGirl Thank you for the idea about the proffee. I've decided I'm going to test the limits of my lactose intolerance and get some Premier Protein to see if I can handle it, and that sounds like a good way to have it. I need to go buy decaf coffee as I don't currently have any. I've been drinking Protein 2O since before surgery. They're not bad but they leave my mouth feeling super dry. I'm guessing that's the protein in it. But the Protein 2O are only 15g of protein. Which ones are you drinking that are 20g? I'm very curious. I haven't noticed any white chunks on my tongue after drinking any protein drink at this point. Just the dryness from the Protein 2O. If it happens with others and not the Premier, but you're also drinking the Premier with coffee... it may be the coffee that's helping? I'm not sure on this one. I hope your trip to your crochet group went well. If you need to get up and walk around for five minutes during the group, definitely do so. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @Hiddenroses I'm going to talk to my husband about ordering that GENEPRO that you mentioned and ShoppGirl mentioned. I need something to help those numbers along lol. Though two of his coworkers had the same procedure done, and they said you never eat for flavor again. You just eat because you have to eat. Which is slightly depressing but if it gets my health back... I'm still going to try to have flavor and such as I go along, but the GENEPRO is probably going to help me out in the puree stage a lot. Right now I'm surviving on protein shakes and protein water. And yay for the pillow working! It's been a lifesaver for me, honestly. I couldn't get up and down in certain chairs without it. Okay, I'm legit jealous that you got a foaming pump style bottle of the stuff. I was literally given 2 packets of the gel and had to use both the last two showers before surgery. So they gave me nothing else for after that. I think I might feel better about showering if I had more of the stuff. Oh, well. Beggars can't be choosers, I guess. lol ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @RRenaeL23 Look at you, go getter! A mile and a half one week post-op? Holy cow! I'm definitely not up to that yet, so congrats on your achievement! I've got a cart started of things that I'm looking at on BariLife.com. Not sure about Clean Simple Eats, but that's another resource you might want to look into for getting smoothies and such. It's where I got my vitamins. This cart is currently things I want to run past the hubby to see if we can get for my puree stage, which should be after Wednesday if I can ever meet my fluid and protein goals beforehand. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @Pepper_No_Salt I'm looking into that variety pack on Amazon myself. I'm beyond tired of the mixed berry at this point, since it's the only flavor in town that I can drink currently. lol Definitely take it easy if you are hurting a lot. I know I tend not to take my pain pills unless I'm pushing an 8 on the pain scale, but you also definitely don't want to do more damage to yourself. I have no idea how you have managed to hit your water and protein goals already, my surgery twin, but congrats to you. I'm definitely on the struggle bus with that one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ @Justarwaxx Did they not give you any contact information? That's so bizarre. My team gave me the contact information like five times to make sure I had it. Are the calories you are consuming from things on the plan? If so, then I don't think it would be a problem. But definitely make sure you reach out and try to find someone to contact to help alleviate your anxiety. I will also say that calories were not mentioned to me by my bariatric team. They are not concerned with calories as much as protein and carbs overall. Fruit and oats were also not on any of my liquid stages, like ShoppGirl said. But if they are okay with it for you, then it sounds like you are doing everything right by your team. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lots of love to anyone I missed! We got this! Everyone who just had surgery, I hope you are healing well. And everyone waiting, it will be worth it.

2 lbs a week is considered "rapid weight loss". I know it doesn't seem like it, especially when comparing to others progress, but it is true... By 3 months you want to have lost 25% of your excess weight to be "average" and right on target, though even if you aren't at 25% lost there is still hope, because some people lose very slowly the first 3 months, then pick up the pace. If your surgery weight was somewhere around 286 and your goal is 150, your excess weight is 136 lbs. 25% of this would be 34 lbs. You have lost 43 lbs. So you have actually lost 32% of your excess weight! That is excellent!! You are ahead of schedule... Percentages IMO are much better to use than actual lbs lost because it is the percentages that really show you where you are! And on a funny note, I was exactly where you are at 3 months--43 lbs lost, 137 lbs excess weight, so 32% towards my goal weight! LOL Your team should be thrilled! Sorry your boobs are going south too... A good bra does help, I am losing fast in the band size for some reason, I have to buy a new bra every month! LOL

OK this is a biggie. You might want to treat alcoholic drinks like a big glass of sugar. Empty calories and not helping you to your goal - hindering actually. However I am Irish and therefore have to acknowledge the fun/relaxation/social stuff associated with imbibing those totally worthless calories. Lots of people who have previously had a completely healthy relationship with alcohol (even if on the slightly heavier side of healthy alcohol intake) can develop a very UNhealthy relationship with alcohol after bariatric surgery. You get a bigger hit, you get it quicker, and you get all the neurotransmitter rush associated with that that makes you want to repeat the experience. For lots of us it has been a big trigger for regaining weight. Just do a search for alcohol and read some of the posts here describing it as THE factor on people's regain. Lots of others have been able to maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol too. If you do your research AND are aware of all that AND vigilant AND able to take immediate action if your relationship with alcohol changes then it might be OK to drink it earlier than your programme allows. Otherwise it might be best to just concentrate on the lovely honeymoon period when you lose weight with not too much effort. I was sleeved 7 weeks before Christmas 2021 and negotiated a glass or two of bubbles over that first holiday season with my dietician. I have been able to continue to drink alcohol at my previous rate and not regain. UNTIL I stopped losing - that was about 2 years post op, 5 months ago. Since then I have been regaining (albeit very slowly). I do wonder whether if I had just ditched alcohol (my only sugar now) early on whether I wouldn't have put on 5lbs in 5 months. I know that third year regain is a thing, but I will never be able to say what effect alcohol may have had. It does seem to have stabilised for me and I know my regain is tiny (not angsting, LOL) just wanted to share my thoughts and my experience. Sorry that turned into a bit of an essay. I hope it helps. Long story short, my programme said no alcohol for 6 months, my (Irish) dietician said go right ahead.

At first it was because, even though I completed my requirements in early October, the first available surgery date was end of December. And then my hospital abruptly cancelled all surgeries and closed the weight management center 3 weeks before my surgery, so I had to get established with a new hospital (one that is owned by the same big healthcare company that owns several hospitals in the Boston area). It was a real shock. The first available appointment was early January at the new place. Luckily, they've accepted all my prior appointments to fulfil the requirements, and they allowed me to schedule my surgery after one meeting with the surgeon and dietician, which I was able to do that same day last week. Now I'm scheduled for February 21 and am counting the days while fearing something will go wrong again.

So loverly of you to do this @BigSue. Great advice. I did the colour thing back in the 80s when it first gained popularity. I am a winter & still wear predominately black. LOL! It makes it easier to put a practical & workable wardrobe together - things match (tops, bottoms, shoes, scarves, bags) & can be swapped about to switch up an outfit because of knowing the colours that work best on me also complement each other. It’s interesting how our personal style changes too. Pre surgery I wore a lot of architectural avant garde type clothing. Can’t now cause even though my height hasn’t changed (😉 still short) I don’t have the body to support the clothing anymore. I feel like I’m drowning in fabric & being overwhelmed. As someone who constantly gained & lost weight, the fear of getting something out to wear & discovering it wouldn’t fit was real & occured every day. Now it doesn’t even enter my mind. Bonus of actually maintaining my weight for more than a week for the first time ever.

Surgery tomorrow! RNY. About a week ago I was having some anxiety about the surgery. Why am I doing this questions. I spoke with my sister I-L who had the surgery a couple years ago. I prayed about it, which I realized I really hadn’t done. I am prepared with my “foods” and vitamins and medications. I noticed a few days ago, no more anxiety. I am at peace going into this. It is overcast and snowy here but I am choosing to find rays of sunshine.

I was pretty lethargic most of the time prior to surgery, but I started to have a little more about 4 weeks after surgery. I was able to walk 2 miles at a time pretty easily, and not get really tired until I was around 5 or 6 miles total for the day. However, I caught covid and had a rough time with it for about 2 weeks, and I feel more tired than I did before surgery. I can't do a half mile without having to sit down, and walking up a flight of stairs makes me dizzy. I have an appointment with my doctor on Friday to see if I need some different vitamins or see if I developed long covid. If the fatigue persists, check with your doctor, and see if there are some other factors that may be causing the issue. With the restricted diet, it could be that you're not getting the vitamins and minerals you need as well. Also, work on your sleep schedule! Even getting 1 more hour than you're accustomed to routinely can make a big difference. It takes about 3-4 weeks on a new sleep schedule to see results though, so be patient.

In people with an intestinal component to their surgery (like gastric bypass, SADI, and DS) sometimes GI symptoms can happen like chronic gas. You might consider exploring a FODMAP diet to see if you can find the foods that are triggering the gas. Odds are something you are eating is causing this... You could also try adding a probiotic, sometimes the gut microbiome can get off kilter. And a reduction in the simple carbs you are eating might help too if you eat a lot of carbs as opposed to a protein heavy diet. As for the burping, it sounds like for some reason you are swallowing a lot of air. You might try drinking fluids a bit differently. If you drink from a bottle or a straw a lot, you might switch to a wide mouthed cup. My dietician said a lot of water bottles and narrow shaped cups (as well as straws) can cause you to swallow a lot more air than normal, causing burping and sometimes nausea. I'm sorry food doesn't feel good right now. I feel the movement of food in my esophagus and stomach a lot, as well as when I drink. Small sips and small bites help. Small is smaller than you think. I hear it gets better as time goes on... Sometimes I can eat relatively normally, other times (like this week) my restriction is super high and I can only eat half of what I normally do, or less. There is an ebb and flow to this. So on my high restriction days I eat less and drink more protein supplements. On my low restriction days I get more veggies in and a hefty dose of meat based proteins. I figure it all averages out in the end! I agree though, a talk with your doctor is in order. You shouldn't be experiencing pain at this point. On rare occasions bypass patients can develop strictures which could cause some of the symptoms you list.

I owned a home scale, but for the first 18 months or so I was too large for it. I did have monthly follow-ups with my surgeon, so I weighed in there. At my follow-ups the topic of my weight / weight loss was never brought up unless I brought it up, since there were more important things to talk about. The things my Doc paid attention to were how I felt physically and mentally, if I was having any issues or concerns, did anything significant change. The things I also paid attention to was how my clothes fit, my stamina, was I happy. Once I could fit on the home scale I almost lived on it for a couple weeks, as the novelty of it was just too much. Then the novelty wore off. Since then I only weigh at medical appointments when they ask me to do it. One does not need a scale to succeed at weight loss. Home scales can be had pretty inexpensively, I see one on Amazon for $16. If it's a matter of dire circumstances I'm sure your Surgeon or PCP or any of your other medical professionals wouldn't mind if you stopped by for a weigh in. Most department stores that sell home scales would allow 'testing' the scale before you buy or don't buy. Good luck, Tek

Thanks all. I am still losing weight each week so it wouldn't be for any time soon, I was just wondering about it for an extra energy boost at a later date when I am sure I might reach a plateau. I had seen it really heavily plugged on a bariatric blog so was wondering about it.

I always tell people that the two weeks before surgery were much more difficult for me than anything that came after the surgery. It is a terrible period and you really do have to power through it. As far as the constipation, take fiber capsules (preferably psyllium husk) with a probiotic. Its also a good habit to get into post-surgery, as soon as you can handle it. It will keep you regular and help with digestion. Try a different brand of shakes and see it works better for you. I always preferred the Premier Protein shakes over the Equate ones. Drink an insane amount of liquid during this time. Always be chugging some kind of liquid, just to try to keep your stomach relatively full. Eat sugar free popsicles by the box.

I never even attempted to go the NHS route as knew it would be years. I’d toyed with the idea of surgery for a couple years, then I suddenly thought, what am I waiting for? No time like the present so just booked the consultation. There’s only one private hospital in my area of Scotland so it was Circle Health and Prof. Bruce for me. Both outstanding. I saw the psychologist and dietician within 2wks of the initial consultation and was then cleared for surgery. Zero complaints from me about any of the process, and apart from the constipation I’ve had a very easy recovery. So easy in fact I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I expected to suffer, and know how to cope with that as I have endometriosis, but no suffering ensued. so I feel very fortunate. I’m trying to take each day, one at a time. Last week I was panicking worrying about putting back on weight I’ve yet to lose. Eejit. So that needed to be quelled. My energy level is good, I’ve been slowly increasing the distance I walk every day, I drove after a week and plan to returning to work one month post surgery, all being well. The future looks brighter for me from where I’ve been sitting. Wishing you as positive an experience as I’ve had .

Has anything changed? New medication? Lifestyle change? Has a little complacency slipped in? Not as active? You’ve been through Thanksgiving & Christmas recently could they have contributed? Go back to tracking your food & fluids to check you’re meeting goals. Go back to how you were eating before you reached your lowest weight in regards to portion sizes, calories, macros, etc. Protein first, then vegetables & finally only if you’re able any carbs you’re allowed. Check in with your dietician to ensure you’re not missing something. Remember not everyone reaches their goal. The average weightloss at the three year mark is 65% of the weight you would need to lose to put you in a healthier range. You’ve got this.

I'm right at 5 months, and over the past few weeks, it has become HARD. In the beginning, I was dropping weight, had zero interest in food, and was totally motivated. But since the beginning of July, I've lost a pound. Actually, I've lost and gained and lost and gained that one pound multiple times. I've started feeling hungry sometimes again, and that's triggering all sorts of bad behaviors like getting up when I'm trying to avoid work (I work from home) and looking in the cupboard for a snack, not to mention craving sweets. It's been a constant fight. Not getting that reward of watching the scale dropping all the time kind of saps the motivation, I think. And the novelty wears off and you start to realize that you're in this for the long haul and maybe you start to rebel a little. You're not alone. You say you're afraid of being judged, but you are judging yourself every time you do things you know you shouldn't do. You said it yourself. You're disgusted by what you're doing, but there's a reason you're doing it, and figuring that out is going to be the key to stopping it and changing. I feel like there is probably a voice you hear in the back of your head telling you that you can't do this. Maybe there's literally someone saying it to you in your life, but most likely it's a voice in your head from a long time ago, one that sounds like you but probably was someone else when you first heard it. For me, it's my grandmother, and to some extent my dad. Never happy, never praising. Expecting perfection and scolding "for your own good" over every little thing. Ridiculing my weight despite being overweight themselves, but also overfeeding me because that's what they knew. Food was the enemy, but also a reward from emotionally stunted caregivers who had no other way to show affection. When you can never fully meet expectations at a young age, you learn quickly that you will always fail. That may be the role you've played in your family. Maybe it's everything, or maybe just one thing, like being overweight. And when you start to succeed, it feels frightening because it challenges everything you have been taught to believe about yourself. If you're not "the fat friend", who are you? Or maybe being "the fat daughter" kept a jealous family member happy because you weren't "competition" that way. There are so many reasons we get into these patterns. But the point is, the patterns feel normal and safe. So you make sure you don't succeed and change too much or for too long. You're used to being disappointing to yourself. You can live with that. But admitting you're capable of succeeding and changing is really scary. Allowing yourself to challenge the roles other people want you to fulfill is the hardest thing you can do. At least that's my experience. As for how to change, my first suggestion is talk to your team. That's why they're there, and they know what's going on because they've seen it before. Face it head on. Nothing they say is going to be any worse than what you are saying, and doing, to yourself. If you can get set up with a therapist, even better. Second, get every source of temptation out of the house. The alcohol. The junk food. Whatever is making you stumble, get rid of it. Do your shopping online from now on, or curbside pickup because it is way easier not to give into temptation that way. You can't binge on what you don't have. But skip the gym. It's really only about 10% of your success, anyway. Focus on water, protein, and vitamins. You don't need the false guilt of the gym to make everything worse. And third, get help from people you trust who are close to you if you can. Accountability is key. If going out to eat is an issue, tell your friends or family that you need their help not letting you go out to eat. Explain why you can't be around snacks, or why you won't be ordering alcohol, and ask for their help. If you trust even one person in your life to tell what is really going on, tell them. You need another voice cheering you on instead of just your own head bringing you down. Bottom line, something about what you are doing right now feels comfortable to you. It's a pattern that you can live with, even if you hate it. Something about what you were doing when you were following the rules was making you uncomfortable. Figure out what and why. You can't change your habits until you change that voice in your head, and until you can love yourself and cheer yourself on instead of being your own worst judge. But you have to believe you're worth it and be willing to do things that scare you in order to get past this fog and get to where you want to be.

I definitely understand. Mine will be two weeks after yours, and I also have my final meeting with the surgeon on Jan 23. It's a big step, and it's a good sign you're not taking it lightly. Is there anything specific that scares you, or just the whole situation? The only time I've ever had a surgery or anesthesia was when I had my wisdom teeth out. It's definitely a good cause for some nerves, but don't let yourself get freaked out!

I'm 2 1/2 weeks post op and I'm feeling alright, but with a LOT of sleep. I'm up for 2 or 3 hours and down for 4 or 5 hours. I'm doing okay on my protein/hydration, but I just can't seem to get going. I plan on going back to work on Monday, but I don't know that I'm going to have enough in the tank for an 8-hour day. Any ideas? *edit - did my 2 week check in yesterday, down 33 pounds post op.*

Sorry tech challenged, I meant to answer you lol. I was on a 5 week optifast pre-op liquid diet only. Also water of course. I was honest to my team as I wasn't perfect the entire time time. Probably why it didn't shrink enough... I don't know.

I agree with @Arabesque, track your food and see what you're eating, how much, and how often. The further out we get from our surgeries, the easier it is to slowly get off track. Our stomachs stretch out a little and we notice we can eat more, so we do. Definitely reach out to your dietician and see if you guys can come up with a way to get back on track. It's normal to have the weight loss slow drastically as time goes on, but if you aren't where you want to be yet, there's ways to fix it. But definitely start tracking your food and liquid intake, reach out to your dietician, and make sure you're moving your body. Even if you don't do full workouts, make sure you're moving every day. Park at the far end of a parking lot, take stairs instead of the elevator, take a walk a few times per week...anything to get your body moving.