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Thank you @ShoppGirl @Bypass2Freedom and @JennyBeez for you lovely, thoughtful words. I really do appreciate your comments. The clothes came - the shift dress that I thought would be OK is massive and the jumpsuit that I thought would be too tight fits perfectly so go figure 🤷‍♀️ Annoying though when you buy the same size from the same brand and there are massive discrepancies. So, dress is going back and I’ve ordered a couple of things from the sale at Roman for less than half the price of the dress I’m sending back 🙂 @ShoppGirl I have to say that my hubby is being fully supportive. There are obviously times when I want to smother him with a pillow but not over this. He is onboard with what I am trying to do so no complaints from me over that. He just wants me to feel good about myself and get some confidence back I think. I did take your advice and ordered some new, dressy shoes (backless so if my feet do shrink again, it won’t matter!) I hope that the metabolic changes from the op really do kick in and work in tandem with the other changes we make. I know the op is a positive thing that we’re doing both for our physical and emotional wellbeing. @Bypass2Freedom Definitely seek food to ‘soothe’ when in meltdown mode. It is difficult to lose weight and keep if off. I hate, with a passion, those that patronisingly say “oh, you just have to eat less and move more”…OH REALLY?? 🤬🤬🤬 Well tell my metabolism that you arsehole. Continually dieting just screws your metabolism up, I’m sure of it. I’m hoping that the op acts as an internal reset button so my body stops acting against me and works with me for a while. I do know I need to stop being so harsh on myself…old habits and all that 🙃 @JennyBeez Yes, to camouflage, yes to self-sabotage. I know what started my weight issues and disordered eating. Food was used as a punishment when I was growing up (amongst other things) I won’t go in to detail as I don’t want to trigger anyone but I have undergone counselling etc. I did lose approx 100lbs around 12 years ago and then immediately started with Rheumatoid Arthritis which threw a massive spanner in to my works! My focus went from weight and gym visits to meds, hospital visits, X-rays pain and tests. Weight went back on, Osteoarthritis decided to join the party and then recently Fibromyalgia because why not?? Did I choose any of that? NO! Looking at it all dispassionately, I can see that I was angry with my body - I’d done the major weight loss, I was at the gym 5 days a week because I loved it, I was happy with myself and then I felt that I was kicked in the teeth without rhyme or reason. I know that WLS won’t make everything go away but hopefully it will make things easier to handle and get me moving once again. I miss the gym like you wouldn’t believe and I’m just hoping that I can get going to it once again for my physical and mental health. Working on my mindset is definitely a work in progress.

I am just over two weeks away from having surgery. I was diagnosed with PCOS in my 20s and have high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and am prediabetic. Because I wanted the best shot at having those specific co-morbidities resolve, and because I have a family history of GERD, I decided to go with the RNY gastric bypass. But gastric sleeve is also a good surgery. Overwhelmingly, you will find that people who have these surgeries have no regrets other than wishing they had done them sooner. A small number will have complications, but even among those, most will have no major regrets. My brother had the sleeve 15 years ago and says without a doubt it saved his life. This is a risk calculator that will also help show you the chances of various conditions resolving within 1 year for the various surgeries: https://riskcalculator.facs.org/bariatric/ This is a video from a bariatric surgeon that looks at both surgeries and how to decide: I suggest watching all of Dr. Weiner's YouTube videos. He's very trustworthy and knowledgeable, and a much better source of information than TikTok videos! (Although I watch YouTube channels for several bariatric patients and do really love hearing the stories).

I think a lot of his to do with BMI. Another person who is using my surgeon has to do a week of liquid diet. I use fairlife protein replacements and it has 30g and they have other options with 42g. I just prefer the 30g bc it is smoother and tastes like chocolate milk. Typically they give you a surgery date prior to starting the liquid diet though! I hope you get your date soon.

Do not give up hope! My surgeon told me to get all my info from the internet! I even put myself on a 2 week pre-surgery liver shrinking diet. I got no help from him whatsoever. I worked with a nutritionist from my insurance company to figure out what I should be eating. My daughter had an amazing surgeon. we have both done amazing and kept the weight off for over five years Do not turn to drugs. The weight will come back on as soon as you stop.

Great advice above. Dr Matthew Weiner is a great resource (you tube videos, books, podcast, website). He does encourage a plant based eating style but you can use it as a guide & for ideas especially around increasing vegetable consumption, ingredient alternatives, etc. I didn’t exercise while losing & still don’t as people define exercise. I do 4 x 5 minute sessions of stretching & resistance bands through out the day. Easier to find 5 minute blocks of time throughout the day versus say an hour + at the gym. It’s called exercise snacking. Though as other have said you probably do a lot of running about with your little ones as it is. And yes, stop using the word diet. It’s so filled with negative connotations like restriction & failure. I started saying I’m not on a diet, I just changed the way I eat from when people started noticing my weight loss. (The usual reaction: Oh, you’ve lost weight. What diet are you on?) It’s does contribute to changing your thinking about food & eating. Go back to the basics when you were losing. Meet your protein & fluid goals. Watch your portions. Protein first, then vegetables & then carbs if you’re able. You can start slow & incorporate one or two changes every couple of weeks. Much easier to adopt than jumping in with both feet. Don’t be afraid to touch base with your dietician, surgeon or therapist if only for support & remind you of anything you may have forgotten or missed. All the best.

like others, eight lbs in eight years is actually great. Most people have a 10-20 lb rebound - and usually earlier on than you - usually at about three years out. And fortunately, as someone implied, it's eight lbs and not 40! It should be do-able, although that said, the closer you are to a normal BMI, the harder it is to lose even a few lbs. I've said this before on here, but I remember going to Weight Watchers meetings before surgery and listening in disbelief to those barely overweight women moan and complain about how hard it was to lose 10 lbs. And there I was - 200 lbs overweight. But I totally get it now!!! I've been dealing with regain, too (I'm 20 lbs above my lowest weight and have been since even before the pandemic), but I've been weighing back and forth after all this struggling if it's even worth the struggle (and my doctor is fine with my current weight, so she doesn't "get it" - which is no help!). I know a ton of long-timers who are dealing with the same thing. Some have just given up trying and are just focusing on maintaining where they're at, some have had some success with Weight Watchers, others swear by intermittent fasting, some go really low carb for awhile. And some go back to eating the way they did the first year post-op (not all the way back to purees and soft food - but they way they were eating when they were 6-12 months or so out). Whatever works and fits your lifestyle is worth a shot. But know that it's tough - your loss will be in ounces at this point rather than pounds, so it's hard to see your successes - but it can be done and some people do succeed! Anyway, best of luck to you!

If you have access to therapy, this is something that would be good to address because this mindset of guilt and shame is neither healthy nor productive. I know that not everyone can get therapy, but there are other resources available. Perhaps your clinic has a support group you can join. I highly recommend the podcast, “We Only Look Thin,” which has a lot of great advice relating to mindset. The bottom line is that no single meal is going to make you regain 36 pounds. Beating yourself up over it isn’t going to accomplish anything. You’re new to post-WLS eating and still learning, so learn for next time. Recognize that you weren’t prepared for the event not having food that meets your needs and learn to be prepared next time. Maybe keep a “just in case” protein bar in your car. One of my strategies for an unknown food situation is bringing my own Skinny Girl salad dressing and/or a couple of low-carb tortillas, so I can make a salad or wrap out of what’s available. Also, nowadays people are pretty sensitive about dietary restrictions and won’t be offended if you ask what will be served and even request a special meal if you’re comfortable (though I understand not wanting to call attention to your diet). Having an all-or-nothing mindset where you equate two fries and half an onion ring to failure is really harmful. You made a couple of decisions, in seven whole weeks, that weren’t on track. That’s not going to derail all of your progress. There’s no reason you can’t continue to stay on track aside from those isolated instances. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t quit the race just because your shoe came untied once or twice.

Hii all I am finishing Day 3 of my 2-week pre-op My pre-op is one week of low calorie foods + 4 puréed days + 3 liquid days. I am excited and nervous for surgery on Nov 21!!!

My surgery date is December 20th as well! My Preop Appointment is November 27th. I start my 2 week liver shrink diet on 12/6. Two weeks of one protein shake for breakfast, one for lunch and a high protein low calorie dinner consisting of 6 oz or less of a nonfried meat and unlimited nonstarchy veggies. Unlimited clear fluids, aiming for at least of 64 ounces per day. Let's do this y'all!

I agree with @Spinoza. You’re still healing. It takes about 8 weeks for you to heal & that includes all those nerves that were cut during the surgery. A lot of messages aren’t getting through or the signals are different as a result. It’s why sticking to your portion size is very important (it always will be) but especially in this healing period. In a few weeks, & when you’re on solid food, you’ll start to feel those signals again including your restriction. Liquids go through your digestive system more quickly so what signals you may still have don’t get a chance to get through. You may even find when they return your signals for full & hungry are a little different too. Some say they sneeze or their nose runs when they’ve had enough. Keep eating slowly too as it takes at least 20 minutes for the message to get through that you are full. The goal should be not to eat until you feel full but until you’ve had enough & don’t need to eat any more (not just want to eat more). I wasn’t hungry or really interested in eating for almost a year. It is a blessing of the surgery while you are losing. In actuality, after our hunger returns, many of us say we wish we still weren’t hungry like we were in the beginning after surgery. Though not hungry, I knew I had to eat so I ate to a routine, ensuring what I ate was nutrient dense & in appropriate portions. There’s a lot of things to learn & understand about your eating & your body. It takes time but you’ll work it out. All the best.

Thanks guys, I'm almost 6 months out (which in hindsight I should've mentioned before) and I've always struggled with my weight from fat to underweight to obese (hence why I did the surgery). So, I got really paranoid as I finally hit my mark and plateau'd as I thought that was it, then earlier last week and past few days I noticed the number decreasing so I thought I might go underweight again and this time couldn't do anything about it, but good to hear it's somewhat normal and that I'll surely recover over time it seems.

I had VSG November 30th, and I’m over the liquid diet😩I’ve tried to get creative but really how creative can a girl get! I still have another week until I can add pureed foods but sheesh! I had a calcium citrate caramel chew today and it was everything 🙌🏼😩😭 just the fact I got to actually chew something was the highlight of my day!

Yes, the cause is often, if not usually, a mystery. I ran into an Afib problem a couple of years ago about this time of year, though it didn't get picked up until a month or so later when I went in for a pre-op exam for cataract surgery, and we were discussing the moderate shortness of breath I was experiencing while swimming, considered different things it could be until she took a listen and "Oh, that's it... you're not doing surgery tomorrow. Let's do an EKG as see what's going on." She had me in to the cardiologist that afternoon (it usually takes weeks or months to get an appointment). He had me go to the ER that evening to get the medication dosing down right (we can do this the fast way in the ER or the slow way back and forth to my office over the next several weeks to get this down...) Once the basic heart rate was under control, it was a visit with the cardiac electrician (electrophysiologist) to look at resetting things more permanently. The good news is that while he was in there burning out the short circuits he noted that my arteries are nice and clear, and while things are not back to a normal sinus rhythm, it's not Afibbing consistently so I don't need to be on the expensive anticoagulants. Here's to them getting a better understanding of what's going on inside you so that you can get back to your planned life!

Oh I pray for that will power!!! I have already set boundaries with my ex and told him I will not be going out to eat anymore and that I will be cooking my own meals so he needs to stop inviting me over for dinner! I do t know hat he is going to do now that he won’t be able to “control” me with food. I didn’t tell him about surgery just that I am working on slimfast meal plan. He is a negative about everything. I have been having all my “favorite foods” the last couple of weeks and I don’t know if it is the mindset change or what but I am finding them less enjoyable as before. I think it is because I’m just looking at them as food now and not so much craving them. I hope the will power lasts through and I plan on having sashimi and air fry asparagus for my 6 week meal! I planned it so that I can have something enjoyable to kick off my regular meal plan. 🤞🏻 here’s to positive vibes to you

Doing many different duets including several VLC & deliberately skipping meals had done a number on my metabolism. Started doing this at 15 so did this for 40 years. The last VLC diet I did (<500 calories) I barely lost a thing - a couple of kilos over 6 or more weeks. The surgery works because it changes your hormones & boosts your metabolism. It also resets your weight set point. This is the weight your body is happiest at & will keep returning to or makes it harder to lose the weight in the first place. I went from really not being able to lose anything to losing all my weight & more. I weigh The other difference was if I did lose weight on a diet in the past as soon as I stopped I invariably went back to eating the exact same way as I did before & regained my weight. Which kept my set point high. I’ve been able to maintain because I took the time while losing to change my relationship with food & changed how & what I ate. I took advantage of the benefits of the surgery. I look at flood differently. I adopted a way of eating (not a diet - to many negative connotations to that word) that works for me because it’s sustainable, complements my lifestyle, ensures I’m making nutrient rich food choices & I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. You may find these links informative. Dr Matthew Weiner (Pound of Cure) has excellent resources es as does Dr John Pilcher. https://courses.poundofcureweightloss.com/courses/weight-loss-hormones/

It really is amazing to see how all the different doctors approach the pre diet, surgery, out patient vs hospital stay, post diet length of phases, what you can eat, what you can't in each phase. Of course we probably all think / hope that our own doc is doing it right. I'm trying hard to follow my doctor's course, even though when I read where some of you are, it gets difficult. Had first puree tonight (cheated by starting 12hrs early.. Oh well!) It was really good but really surprising how different your stomach reacts to it. I was definitely full after a few teaspoons as compared to eating pudding. I have a nutribullet, so you really end up making many servings so there's enough volume to puree. The mental part of the recovery has been awful. Hoping that being on the puree for the next two weeks will start to bring up the mood. FYI.. My insurance doesn't cover a nutritionist/dietician. Some of my doctor's dietician appts are considered part of the procedure and thus discounted cost. I paid almost nothing for the procedure itself, but not the dietician part. I looked online and found Health Loft. Many insurances cover them, including mine. They advertise as services for eating disorders, but they also have specialists for bariatric. It's virtual. Now I can use a dietician and get some counseling for many more visits as I try to change my life. Even though I've known for decades how I should be eating, I need all the help I can get.

In people with an intestinal component to their surgery (like gastric bypass, SADI, and DS) sometimes GI symptoms can happen like chronic gas. You might consider exploring a FODMAP diet to see if you can find the foods that are triggering the gas. Odds are something you are eating is causing this... You could also try adding a probiotic, sometimes the gut microbiome can get off kilter. And a reduction in the simple carbs you are eating might help too if you eat a lot of carbs as opposed to a protein heavy diet. As for the burping, it sounds like for some reason you are swallowing a lot of air. You might try drinking fluids a bit differently. If you drink from a bottle or a straw a lot, you might switch to a wide mouthed cup. My dietician said a lot of water bottles and narrow shaped cups (as well as straws) can cause you to swallow a lot more air than normal, causing burping and sometimes nausea. I'm sorry food doesn't feel good right now. I feel the movement of food in my esophagus and stomach a lot, as well as when I drink. Small sips and small bites help. Small is smaller than you think. I hear it gets better as time goes on... Sometimes I can eat relatively normally, other times (like this week) my restriction is super high and I can only eat half of what I normally do, or less. There is an ebb and flow to this. So on my high restriction days I eat less and drink more protein supplements. On my low restriction days I get more veggies in and a hefty dose of meat based proteins. I figure it all averages out in the end! I agree though, a talk with your doctor is in order. You shouldn't be experiencing pain at this point. On rare occasions bypass patients can develop strictures which could cause some of the symptoms you list.

Yes, as @Tomo said it takes 6 (or longer) to fully heal. Besides all the sutures & staples holding your digestive system together, many nerves were cut during your surgery & your signals/messages, like you are full, any discomfort you may be experiencing & your restriction, just aren’t getting through. It’s why sticking to your portion size recommendations during these early stages are especially important. Check with your team if you weren’t given any. For example I was told 1/4 - 1/3 cup from purée (week 3) slowly increasing to about a cup at 6 months. But that was what I was told. Starting solid foods after a week seems incredibly early especially without the puree & soft food stages. Plans can be different but yours is the most different I’ve come across. Do check with your team just to be sure.

Definity do what your Dr says. I just got cleared to lift 25lbs at my two-week post op and I am allowed to do moderate cardio (walking or elliptical) but not the HIIT program on the elliptical like I used to do before surgery. I was told moderate cardio because my calorie intake is low, not because of healing. I did ask how long it takes for your insides to heal and I was told on average 8 weeks for most weight loss surgeries and with roue en y it is 8 weeks for the main part and 12 weeks for the side because you move that part of your abdomen more. I had roux en y and I was also told I was healing better than most people at this point.

Yeah they do. They know what I’ve been through physically and mentally. But we have estranged a little only eating out every 3 months with them. They struggle to have cash to go out, so she hates waste I feel bad about wasting money. Even if I get a doggy bag. Generally hubby eats what’s left. I feel guilty about that too as he has weight issues(105kg) and is diabetic. His parents grew up on disability and money was always tight and he is old school about eating everything on your plate. I generally order an entree or alter the main meal and ask for it with the entree’s. That way I eat over the hour or so we are out and normally I just have water which I hardly touch. Or if I’m with my 12yr old we share a meal together. I normally have a drink before leaving home. And again when I get home. my eating does suck At the moment again. As mentioned I’ve been away from home a lot. I eat 1-2 times a day. Everything is mainly liquid now. Much easier to make up and keep in an insulated container and just sip away. Eating out: it’s a nice way for you to buy new clothes and show them off. your photos look so good. I’ll have to find mine. (But most are in my underwear or nothing and I’m not posting either of them.) I do have a photo where I’m in my pjs and I just show my belly and war wounds. I have lost a few cms everywhere since surgery #4.(Nov2nd) the surgeon told me repeatedly I would only loose 5kms this time. But things have been better. I see him on the 15th Feb for my month follow up since my issues. some have been resolved. I sprained my ankle walking. Which on ultrasound has shown I tore my perineal in my right foot and am only allowed to walk 10mins a day. So now I lug around a moonboot. This becoming a new person is pushing my boundaries. I'm away from home for 4 weeks straight (2 in our capital city, 1 in Sydney and then another week in capital city) so this will test my eating. I’m determined to not fall into bad habits. Just don’t know how much of a routine I can follow. my measurements and pics below the pics are in order. before op one op two op 4 today 4th Feb

Liquid clears your stomach pouch in a matter of seconds after gastric bypass. I know this because on the morning after my surgery, I had to do a swallow test and l literally watched on the screen as my new little pouch filled with a swallow of liquid and immediately started dripping it into my small intestine. By the time I took the third swallow, the first one was no longer in my stomach pouch at all and the second one was mostly emptied, too. That's how it is supposed to be. "Stretching out" your stomach is 99% myth for two reasons. First, at the early stage, your stomach is swollen and stiff. You couldn't stretch it out if you tried, let alone with a mere few ounces of liquid. Second, as time goes on, it's supposed to stretch a bit to allow you to eat a healthy quantity of food because you can't live on 400 calories forever. If you stick to your recommended portion sizes, eating schedule, and fill up on healthy foods, it won't be an issue. I highly recommend watching Dr. Pilcher's video about stomach stretching if you're concerned. Bottom line, most people do not actually stretch their stomachs, they learn to eat around the size restriction by grazing all day and eating high calorie junk, and then blame their "stretched" stomach for their bad behavior when they gain back all the weight. At 8 weeks post-op, swelling has decreased and capacity is closer to what it's meant to be. Drinking 12 oz in 35 minutes is totally normal and healthy at this point. It means you are healing. Solid foods take longer to empty, so eating 3-4 oz per meal will feel very different than drinking 12 oz of water. At 3 months post-op, I can drink 32 oz of hot decaf tea in 30 minutes. I can eat 5-6oz yogurt/bean soup or only 2-3 oz of chicken breast in the same amount of time. It's a function of how much your stomach has to do before it can move along. My advice is to follow the instructions you were given with regard to your number of meals per day, quantity of food at each sitting, macros, etc. Stop when you feel fullness cues, but don't eat more just because you don't feel fullness cues, if that makes sense. You will never need more than 4 oz of chicken at a sitting, but you will likely be able to eat more than that in a year or two. Resist the temptation, and add non-starchy veg instead if you feel hungry. Build good habits now that you can stick to forever.

I count "net" carbs ( Carbs minus fiber ) I love the low carb lifestyle ! Before surgery,I lost 40# doing low carb and my body slammed on the brakes and said "nope " at 210 and wouldn't let me lose anymore. That's why I went for surgery ! Now that I'm 5 months out - my body is saying NOPE again ....*sigh*... I've been stalled for 3 & a half months !! I honestly don't think there's any real way to break it ,we just have to wait it out. There's so many videos about people that say they KNOW how to break a stall. I think it's all BS - especially the ones that try and sell you a certain vitamin or remedy. We'll get there . PS ......... I'm giving you a standing ovation for losing 100 lbs !!!!!! You're an inspiration

VGS 10/16 and I’ve lost about 32lbs since the surgery. I’ve definitely hit that weird zone with no weight loss that everyone has been posting about. I’ve been bouncing around +\- 3lbs for the last four weeks. It’s hard to not be discouraged and cheat on the diet (I’m an emotional eater). So I’m looking at other wins- smaller clothes, walking the dog, going up stairs, better movement in general. I have to keep telling myself- It doesn’t have to all be based on the number on the scale.

You will only get help and kindness here but we are not surgeons or dieticians. We can only help so much. We always recommend a visit with your team if possible. If you are not eating well and not getting enough liquids in then your body is holding every little calorie it can because you are in starvation mode. You will not loose weight, your body is in charge of this. If you can not get water down and you could a while back then you have a narrowing/ swelling in your new tummy and it needs a little easy tweak to stretch it back out. Its called a stricture. If this is something you have had from the beginning then you are forcing too much food and or drink in at once. Small sips of drinks, they can be hot, cold or frozen see which might work . Once you have mastered drinking, then pare down the foods to really soft, protein based ones again. Chew well and add sauces, it helps. Soft eggs, protein yogurt, soft cheese etc. Only eat a small amount, say 1 - 2 ounces and see if you can keep the foamies at bay. Foamies happen when your stomach rejects the food or drink it does not want that day. It may have been ok the day before but.... today, oh no you are not putting any more of that in me ... I haven't exercised as such, I was too decrepit too start with and I lack motivation now so I walk a few miles a week. Exercise doesn't really count for much weight loss unless its marathon running or such.

I sure did lol... I called and told them and I told them I was willing to reschedule and start the 5 weeks again, but they said we would not need to reschedule and to just keep trying and that I was doing amazing and not to beat myself up. I was quite surprised as they seemed at first that the 5 weeks optifast diet was a must. When I went in for my pre-op to meet the guy putting me under, I told them again as it made me nervous and he seemed rather unbothered by it lol. He said "oh we don't care about that, what I care about is you not having anything after midnight prior to surgery". He laughed and said I was not the only one, nor the last to have cheated. I still feel lousy for it though, and everyones bariatric team is different with what they want you to do prior to surgery. I would not advocate cheating on the pre-op diet, but I if you have please do not beat yourself up about it as you are not alone. I would let them know though just because I feel it is important to be honest. Hugs.