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"Surgery is cheating? Oh no! I didn't know there were rules. Have I forfeited my eligibility to be awarded a weight loss trophy? I guess I'll just have to take looking good in my clothing and not dying prematurely as a consolation prize." "You can either be supportive of my decision or you can stop talking because I didn't ask for your opinion and am not seeking advice at this time." "Oh, is today the day we're sharing what we disagree with about each other's life decisions? Hold on, let me go get my list. I've got a few things for you that I'm sure you'll want to hear." The bottom line is, you have the right to live your life the way you see fit. The people making comments like this are not trying to be helpful. They are trying, even if they don't realize it themselves, to control you and take away your right to do what you feel is best for you. When you try to explain and convince them, you play into the idea that they have a right to tell you what to do or that you need their permission. What they don't expect is for you to have the confidence to laugh in their face at their audacity and tell them point blank to get back in their own f*ing lane. And they will not like it one bit when you do, but it'll feel pretty fantastic on your end.

Hiiiii Have you asked yourself why you feel so much guilt about eating things that are not so "healthy"? You are maintaining your weight right? You workout daily, you track your calories, you've achieved your goal weight. What you're detailing here is that you eat "badly", feel guilty, workout extra hard, rinse and repeat. Have you thought of not labelling food as "good" or "bad"?

Hi Skinny queens. ive been so distracted with work, business and my journey and i forgot to check in! how is everyone doing?? my weight loss has been good but slower for sure but i had a fantastic ramadhan as i closed my workout ringS EVERYDAY in march so 10k steps daily which was beautiful and got down 4kg of FAT. but things slowed down abit but im not bothered alot.. im now 78.3 kg (172.6 lbs) which is close to my first goal of 75kg then my final goal is 65kg, which im hoping to reach on my anniversary in Aug then guys, i might start trying for a baby teehee. i am just scared and planning too many things so i dont know. also is it weird that lets say i eat dinner now and i am so full, i could die then 30 mins later or so i am starving so much... whats with this new feelings ahhh. please update me ladies with ur progess @ShoppGirlhows your treament goin?

As a general rule, I would not recommend eating back calories burned for a few reasons: People misunderstand metabolism. Our bodies are highly adaptable and our non-exercise calorie burn is also highly variable day-to-day. We know from recent research that your body tends to try to conserve energy balance, meaning unless your burning over ~400 calories per day in exercise, your body will lessen your calorie burn elsewhere during the day to try to "make up" for the exercise calories. In short, you're not burning as many overall calories on those exercise days as you think you are. Our ability to accurately determine calorie burn from exercise is hard and often we think we've burned more calories than we actually have. For example, you may think you've burned say 400 calories, but it may have only been 250. We also aren't very good at accurately tracking caloric intake, so you may be eating a lot more than you think you are. Adding in even more calories to "eat back" your exercise calories is not going to be accurate, even if the two points above were not true. Something here is not adding up for me. You mentioned you're trying to do a body recomp, but also that you still have a lot of weight to lose. That just doesn't make sense. It's fine to say you want to lose fat and gain muscle, and as a newbie to weight training, you can do both, but you really need to make fat loss the priority here. At best as an untrained woman, you might be able to add 10 or 12 pounds of muscle in the course of a year, but in all likelihood it will be less. I don't mean to discourage you, but most obese people already have more muscle mass than a "normal" person, so you can't expect to add as much muscle as they might be able to. My point is that when we talk about a recomp, what we really mean is trying to stay at about the same weight, but simultaneously lose fat and gain muscle. In my opinion, you need to focus on fat loss first, then try a recomp once you're closer to your goal weight. My suggestion would be to focus on two things: Most importantly, are you still losing weight? If not, then you're eating too much. If you are still losing, is it at a reasonable and sustainable rate? I'd want to see no more than about 3% per month considering that you should hopefully be also adding some muscle mass. This factor is really the primary determinant of where your calories should be. If you're losing faster than ~3%, then it's probably a good idea to eat a bit more, but don't change things by more than a couple hundred calories a day. If you're not losing weight, then as I said, you're eating too much and need to consider scaling back. The second factor here is how you're feeling. If you're eating so little that you can't even think about completing your workouts, or you're just exhausted all the time, then that's a sign you probably need to be eating more. Even so, take it slow here. Add in a couple hundred calories a day and see if you feel better. You can go up to where you need to, but keep in mind, you may also slow or even stop the weight loss. If that happens, you may need to modify your workouts. The flip side of this is if you are feeling good, but not losing, that's probably a sign you're eating too much. In the end, it's a balancing act of eating enough to fuel your workouts, but no so much you stop the weight loss. It will take some time to find the right point for you. Best of luck. (Oh, and in the future, I'd strongly recommend just starting a new thread. This one is several years old.)

I am 7 months post op and have ben lifting "heavy" for about 3 months now. i am trying to follow a body recomp plan but its been so hard to dial in the right macros, especially when i do loose. I just had a meeting with a dietician who told me i should stick to 1000 calories a day but i am in the gym 2x a day plus i am very active outside the gym as well. im not a competing athlete of course, im still very over weight, but i am pushing my body harder than ever before and i just don't think that my personal trainer or doctors recommendations are correct. one is only thinking about the size of my stomach ( i had bypass) the other is only thinking about the extreme amount of activity. i feel best between 1200 and 1400 cals however my trainer wants me at 2050 and the bariatric dr.'s dietician says 1000. when you were starting out did you eat back the calories burned while exercising to maintain your calorie deficit ? i see so many people saying contradictory things but most haven't had the surgery. id be interested to know what worked for you because your progress is amazing!

@SpartanMaker you are an absolute gem, thank you for your kind words! ❤️ I did not get to be 300lbs by eating healthy, it was definitely the binge eating and hiding the wrappers or food, which is why I had to make sure I help myself accountable. I have been able to keep it at bay but this month just let it take over. You are right, I am very goal-oriented, and a determined individual so me not being able to get my ish back together is driving me bananas. I love the idea of just setting one goal and not worrying about everything else. I am no longer relying on motivation to continue my journey but determination. My focus has been off this month and I can't pin point why- but you might have hit the nail on the head with the stress due to post surgery- however I had my 4month post op appointment a couple of hours ago and he cleared me for exercise again, just no running or isolated chest workouts. Which I am okay with! I can work with that! That got me excited to incorporate that back into my routine. That is something that has kept me from doing my norm since I was limited on what I could do, so I am hoping that lights a fire under me. I will keep you in mind if I am struggling with the diet and workouts and PM you! I appreciate you again!! @Mspretty86 I have 3 kids and a hubby, Who all eat differently. My daughter is the only one who have my genes so I do need to be cautious but the 2 boys and hubby have no weight issues. Its something that we all need to work out, but I'm starting with not buying it anymore. You're right this ish is HARD! But I CHOOSE this hard and not being obese hard!

Hi all, my name is Kevin, and I'm new to this board. I just signed up because, for the first time, I think I have a story to share. I've been reading on this board for months as I've been weighing surgical possibilities, and now it's weird being on the other side. I did my gastric sleeve with Renew Bariatics in Tijuana about 4 months back, and I'm at -82 lbs to date. If you're undecided or on the fence—believe me, I'm there. I wasted YEARS jumping around, attempting every diet, every exercise craze, every miracle pill. Nothing held. I'd lose 20 lbs and gain 30. I was at my all-time high last year at 312 lbs, and it started affecting every area of my life—my knees hurt all the time, my energy level was zero, and quite frankly, I just didn't know who I was anymore. I eventually made the decision after my first doctor quite kindly suggested WLS. Insurance here in the US would take an eternity with all the pre-reqs, so I investigated Mexico (fairly skeptically at first). But Renew Bariatrics would keep coming up in every search, and I started watching videos, reading testimonials, even stalking threads here. I ended up deciding to go for it. The Tijuana experience was much better than I expected. The hospital was clean, the staff were nice and genuinely professional, and they were very organized. I went alone (which intimidated me), but I never at any point felt in danger. My coordinator was responsive and the time to prepare me ahead of time, like what to bring and how the day would go every time. Surgery day was actually a blur. I was terrified of heck, but the surgical team made me feel comfortable and at ease. I had no severe complications—only some expected gas pain for a couple of days. The hardest part? The adjustment in my mind afterward. Eating slowly, learning to stop when full, and knowing that food wasn't going to be my crutch anymore took work. Still does. But here's the thing—I got my life back. I can move again. I sleep better at night. I walk into rooms upright. I've still got a long way to go, but this has made such an amazing difference, and I'm glad that I pushed the limits and gave it a try. If you're considering Renew or just need to talk to someone who's gone through it, go ahead and comment or contact me. I recall how valuable it was reading actual people's posts when I was still on the fence. Happy to return the favor. Thanks for reading my long tale—I'm happy to be here!

I post here for advice, encouragement and always get such uplifting/helpful comments. I just need this to get out to my bari-fam! I am 15months post op. I have done well, got down to my goal weight fairly quickly, made leaps on my fitness journey and just pretty proud of how far I have come. Lately, body dysmorphia is really rearing its ugly head and I am not dealing with it well. I am punishing myself with binge eating...All of April has just sucked a$$ for me. I am maintaining, continuing my workouts, my days are great then I go home at night, I grab a few chips, leads to some sweets, leads to some bread and butter, ect....do I eat a ton of it? No but I don't feel good when I eat it. Last week, I went on a week long drinking fiasco- I used to drink...a lot pre-surgery- Last night I ate Jack in the box tacos.. you know those disgusting delicious mini tacos and my feel like garbage today! I am letting my emotional eating get the best of me and I am struggling to get back. I woke up at 5 walked on my treadmill at 10incline 3.8speed but at the end of the day you cannot exercise a shitty diet. I wake up every single day and tell myself okay new day lets get back on track. And every single day I just cannot seem to get my ish together when I am at home. I am getting rid of all the bad snacks and getting everyone on the healthy train. I am trying and I am so terrified that I will get back to 300lbs again. Looking at the mirror, I see how big I am, I see the tummy, I see the hanging skin, I see everything negative when in reality I probably look fine. Not sure what I am looking for outta this post, but I needed to get it out and not hide my food struggles because I did that and it lead to me hiding food and getting up to 300lbs.

My whole life I used to think that. Through my adulthood (age 19-29) I was in great shape, worked out regularly, ate well and maintained a great physique. I always had the propensity to gain weight if I wasn't careful with how I ate and my activity level. I lost over 45 lbs and kept them off through staying active and eating well and my belief was, if I could maintain being in shape doing that, anyone can. It worked for me through 2 pregnancies and a whole decade. Fast forward when my hormones got out of control, I gained 10 kilos in 1.5 months, my weight kept going up, had a bad sports injury and in 5 years I was 30 kilos overweight. I still ate well and worked out 5 times a week but NOTHING WORKED and by nothing, I mean NOTHING not even injectables, not one pound lost, NADA, Zilch. I counted calories, walked 10k steps ...etc. the whole shebang. I was sad, depressed, so uncomfortable and I finally got how sometimes, you try your hardest but it just doesn't happen for you. It was so ironic because I was seen as the health guru who lectured people on how they should work harder and not create excuses (hard pill to swallow, I admit). I finally decided to give in the fact that my weight isn't going to budge dieting and working out like it did in the past. I bit the bullet and got the surgery. I lost a lot of weight fast, but went back to working out regularly and staying consistent and disciplined, I wouldn't have been this successful (not with just the weight lost, but my actual physique, being lean and fit and all) had I just gotten the surgery and depended on it to achieve what I had in mind, I had (and continue) to put in the work, choose to prioritize eating well, etc. Yes the surgery is a tool to HELP you lose weight and BUILD good habits. It doesn't do the work for you in the long run ,that is on you and how you utilize this tool that will determine your success. I would however (very general advise), suggest that before resorting to surgery, that one does try to see how far they can get naturally, and if they can't maintain/fall off the wagon/don't get to their goal weight or physique that they do utilize WLS, but it has to come with a mindset shift. I had that mindset, I just needed the kickstart. Evaluate where your body and MIND is because that is as important.

@AmberFL 8.5k! I will take an additional 1k to play around with I want to get my teeth whitened, I'm getting a keloid removed, I also want to get the Ultra Reformer III treatment on my neck. (Maybe Botox) all that weight lost my neck needs treatment it's does not look bad but it has to be done. I'm getting all Things it would cost an arm and a leg here to do.

I first looked into WLS about 15 years earlier. I went to an information session and a consultation with a surgeon, and my mom came with me. My mom cried and begged me not to get the surgery. Thought it was too dangerous and I should do it "naturally." Obviously, that didn't work and I ended up getting the surgery anyway, after 15 more years living with obesity. That was a big part of why I didn't tell anyone -- I made an informed decision and didn't want to give anyone else the chance to talk me out of it. Exactly... When people get nosey about how I lost weight, my go-to answer is, "I made a lot of lifestyle changes." Even though I did get the surgery as a tool, it is 100% true that I made a lot of lifestyle changes. I worked hard to get to my current weight, and I work hard to maintain it. Every single day, I have to prioritize my diet and fitness. I got up early this morning to do a 5:00 am Orange Theory workout before work. I've logged my food every day for over 5 years. The surgery didn't do that for me.

I think it's a sad state of affairs when we feel like we have to hide our decisions from others because of how we know others will react. I'm not judging anyone that makes that choice since I did it too. I told my family, but specifically decided not to tell my co-workers since I was expecting people to say dumb things like this. The cheating comment I find specifically odd, personally. To me this was life or death, and I chose life. It definitely wasn't some game where the concept of cheating might be meaningful. I feel like it would be no different than if someone were to say to me that I "cheated" when I had open heart surgery. How could you even think that? My choices were either have the surgery, or die. As to weight loss surgery being "the easy way", as all of us here know there is nothing easy about this. Those of us that have reached our goal weights know that the surgery was just a tool, but the important change is what had to happen between my ears. Nothing about that was or is easy. It's still hard work every. single. day. I also wanted to comment on this: I can virtually guarantee you I eat better and workout harder than your son. I NEVER would have been able to workout as hard while I was still obese. It took losing almost 100 pounds before I could even really walk much. Now I run 40+ miles a week. It's hard for people that are not obese to understand just how hard even simple movement can be. Weight loss surgery was the catalyst that allowed me to be where I'm at today.

Thank you to everyone who has responded! I wrote down all of these wise words. I think the hardest person for me to face is my son who BEGGED me to not do the surgery. He swore if I came and lived with he and his wife for a few months and ate what they ate and worked out like they do, he could have me in shape and down 100 lbs without the surgery. (I think he wanted free childcare as well). I’m pretty sure he hasn’t paid attention to my weight loss struggles for the 40+ years of his life. I love these responses and intend to use them with family and friends the next time one of those passively aggressive snarks are made. Thank you thank you. It only matters that I know that this is hard work butI’m doing it for ME!

Its not easy, even I thought it would be easier than it was. I thought I was in the know too. Maintenance isn't easy. So they are not friends if they dont back you. I told my husband and son and my two besties from our ancient school days. I was backed by them. I told no one else until weight loss began to show. I only told three people who asked how I had done it and they were very obese too. The rest got the ' oh I have been walking a lot lately' or I stopped eating carbs. Judgers will always judge, its human nature. Wise words

Offer to be the designated driver. Nurse one glass for hours (did that a lot & still do it but for an hour or so now). Say you’re not really in the mood to drink. Or you have been fighting a headache all day & you don’t want it to come back. Or if you’ve realised you’ve been drinking a bit lately & decided to have a dry couple of weeks. They will notice your weight loss soon if not now so you could be semi truthful and say you’re making a few changes and trying to lose some weight. Whatever you decide to say add you’re glad to see them and to spend time with them & make sure they know you’re okay with them drinking or eating whatever they want.

Almost 5 years out and I haven't told anyone other than medical professionals that I had surgery. Haven't told any family, friends, or coworkers. I didn't want the judgment or the fear or the skepticism, and didn't want to have to justify or explain myself. I think it's absurd that people criticize WLS or medications (Ozempic et. al.) as the "easy way out." First of all, fat people are ridiculed and criticized, and then when we find a way to lose the weight and have bodies that are socially acceptable, well now we've done it the wrong way and get criticized for THAT. Second, anyone who thinks WLS is easy obviously hasn't researched what we have to go through just to qualify for the surgery, and then the miserable pre-op diet, and the long and difficult recovery and diet progression. Finally, have you ever heard anyone criticize a cancer survivor for taking the easy way out by getting chemo? Of course not -- when it comes to just about any other medical condition, we obviously all want to use the most effective treatment available. We have to take the risks and benefits into account, but for most of us who get WLS, the benefits far outweigh the risks, so of course it makes sense to do it. People who have never struggled with their weight want to believe that they're thin because they're superior to fat people. They're resentful of anything that can level the playing field because they feel like it takes away from their superiority.

Just tell them you've made a life choice to be and eat healthier to lose weight and wine has empty calories for you, so as its a wine "tasting" you'll taste it but not drink it all down. Explain you want to enjoy the flavor and time spent with good friends but don't want to sabotage your health plan!

I didn't tell any family members or friends as you know they can be the most negative and there is also that hint of envy and jealousy. As far as being the easy way out please dealing with a lifelong battle of obesity. This surgery is the best thing that you could've done for yourself to combat this horrible disease! congratulations! I am one year postop VSG so any questions any concerns we are always around. when people say it's the easy way out they really don't understand the complexity of the disease of obesity. The disease of obesity is complex, its metabolic, chronic and systemic and it gives no fucks. It's also a very smart disease. When you try to lose weight on you own without the tool of surgery, your body always fights you and then we play this game of lose gain lose lose gain. Obesity hates to see you win. Enjoy this new life its very hard yet very rewarding . Every day is hard. And No one deserves to know to hell with them lol

I am now in my second week out of gastric bypass surgery, can’t wait to get to puréed stage. I have immediate family and close friends who basically told me that I am taking the “easy way” out or flat out say that I have not shown enough discipline in the past to be successful at weight loss. I haven’t shared that I’ve had this surgery with anyone else, friends, neighbors, colleagues because of this. I am feeling good about the surgery, I feel competent to succeed all by myself if necessary, but I was wondering if others have run to this barrier in support and if so, what they’ve said or done.

Wow that’s great! Are you still in the GLP 1 medication? If not, have you regained any weight?

I was going to say the peri-menopausal syndrome has struck again. I had to switch to 50mg DHEA while the hormones were swinging around. I had my various doctor’s blessing. It is a hormone therapy treatment so please talk with your physician. Formal Hormone replacement therapy would have been better but alas, insurance. Now I’ve weaned off to 25mg at age 57. I live just fine on 900-1200 kcals at 5’4” and I’m not frail, I weight lift and have a super active job, and walk 20-30 minutes a day. Each of us is different. Soups make me very full, and salads when I can’t stand the hungries.

Hi there!! I have a vacation food photo build up. Here are some of the things I have eaten over the course of 8 days - of which all were shared with the hubby and my 2 kids - , the goal was to put on some of the weight I've lost in the past one and a half months, but came back to see that I lost even more weight, Boohoo.

Hi Guys, I'm thinking of going on the Mountjaro - how are you getting on with it ? I'm not sure whether to opt for a gastric sleeve or injections because I'm concerned when the jabs stop, I'll gain weight again. 😣

To everyone who has responded....thanks, lets keep in touch and get a good start to our journey. I look at this surgery as a new volume in my book, not a new chapter. I'm not looking back and I will be able to not only lose weight to feel better, but I will be able to get the much needed hip replacement. I'm due to have surgery on the 12th of May, signed my consents today, got my pre-op class done and met with the surgeon and he was quite pleased with my weight loss and my A1c both have gone down. I'm just as eager to get rolling on this new journey. What is next is the clear liquid diet a few days before surgery as they found I do not need to be on a liver reduction diet. I have my supplements as instructed, I have protein water for after surgery. We have 4 days of clear liquids only, then we can go on a soft diet, we don't have a puree, which is a blessing, I can't imagine eating chicken in a puree form, can't have meet until day 11. I'm taking this seriously, and will follow all the rules. I think I am more excited than anything for the 12th of May to come. Ealbers, you are right on track, let's get on with the journey. CJPom, you are first on the list being May 7th, let us know how you are doing post surgery. Jena, we will do this as a team, let's keep each other motivated!!! Congratulations to everyone! Every week, find a win other than is on the scale. Don't check your weight every day, it will fluctuate as your body adjusts and changes. Find other wins to celebrate, but don't stop celebrating. This is not just weight loss, but it is a metabolic shift in our bodies. Movement is important so let's keep walking. WendyJane

i've tried these picture calculators and am not entirely convinced they get the cal count right...especially with intricately-plated resto meals with those 10-ingredient sauce swooshes and crab-infused potato puffs lololololzzzzz. my own inquiry mind, ha! i like to know what calorie burn im at, and these days im on super-exercise mode, so i know im probably at a higher level than "normal". plus, i've sort of been trying to put on some weight since February, and my "unsuccessful-ness" of it all is starting to annoy me. (though secretly i kinda enjoy seeing a low number on the scale. sort of. kinda. i thinks. hello eating disorder!) ironically, i feel great. no health issues nor complaints. energy for days, and i can keep up (if not surpass) all the 20-somethings in class (p.s. im 53 this year). so i dunno.