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NewCC~ I am so sorry your husband isn't being more supportive. Like you said he has little emotion and honestly a lot of men don't show as much emotion as we would like. I know for a week before my surgery my husband seemed to be acting weird to me. If you feel you need to, call your very best friend and talk to them and tell then what is going on. Maybe that will help you feel better and a bit more supported. As for your parents, you have to do what feels best for you. The last thing you need is for them to be unsupportive or against this so if you feel that is the response you'll get, then as hard as it might be, I'd wait to tell them. Easier said than done, but try not have any fears of not waking up. You will be fine! I know it seems so scary going into it, but really it isn't. You'll go in, they'll give you the IV and put some anasthesia in it and the next thing you know, you'll be waking up. That is all I remember. I don't even remember being wheeled away. Just relax and remember you are doing this for you. This will be your new birthday. You have a whole family here on Lapbandtalk who are here to support you! :car: YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! [/url] Banded July 18, 2007 Dr. Louis Fox, Richardson, TX 6/1/07 350 6/27/07 339 7/18/07 331 7/25/07 322.8
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Good morning gang - just a quick ck in... Apples - too funny - I had a dream this morning about bras - but it was with a girl who use to work here and she and a very unsupported one on :0).... Have a good weekend !!! Ya you have me pretty well tagged - except I can tell you all I come off a lot stronger than I feel sometimes It's my front Last night I wanted to eat - couldn't sleep - but thought - you can't so many pple think you are some lapband godess - so you can't let them down - So I didn't eat - wasn't really hungry just wanted to knock out... Got a busy day today and to nite - but will check in later Hugs
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Grl! I'm so so sorry to hear about your going through this delicate time. I was married 12 years and now divorced for 10 years. When I got my band though I was living with a man that was very unsupportive. Therefore, I can relate to some of your heartache. But know that there's a light and it's within YOU! You can do this. Take time out to take care of YOU so that you can take care of your kids. Anything I can do to help encourage you along the way just let me know. Hang in there!!
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Hey Amber! sorry it took so long to reply! So far I have actually had some great support from friends/family, the only one who I am on the fence when it comes to staying my friend would sadly be my best friend. She hasn't been sincerely happy for me it's all been very fake and forced, and she is quite a jelouse person so this is kind of my final test of friendship. If your friends can't handle the fact that your physical appearance will now match your awesomeness then they are not worth keeping around. And although at the moment it's hard to think about losing friends you have had for a long time, as you lose weight new doors will start opening and you'll start meeting more people and the unsupportive ones won't really matter as much
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Any Eat for your Blood Type users?
Creekimp13 replied to DavidOso's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Blood Type diet is pure magical thinking and is unsupported by studies or empirical evidence. https://www.acsh.org/news/2014/01/21/eat-blood-type-diet-debunked That said...placebo can be good medicine. If this magic feather helps you stick to a structured diet, chances are good you'll see some benefit. -
Unsupportive Primary Care Doctor
Slimsoon1988 posted a topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Tomorrow is my Sleeve surgery. Today I met with my primary care doctor for final clearance. She has never been supportive of the surgery. I asked what does she know about the sleeve, she said that we have less complications then the bypass but most people just gain the weight back... Def not what I wanted to hear the day before surgery. -
Maybe it isn't that he's unsupportive . It could be fear. This is surgery and with surgery there are risks. It's a life style change for the entire family and it's unfamiliar. To fear the unfamiliar is normal.
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400+ lbs at the time of surgery
Inner Surfer Girl replied to flipper72's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
To add, I had a very easy recovery and am pleased with my progress so far. Before surgery, I weaned myself from caffeine and carbonation, drank at least 64 oz. of Water a day, and tried to do 60 minutes of exercise a day. Because of the weather and my mobility issues, I got an exercise peddler and peddled with my hands while watching tv. Post surgery I recommend: Do everything you are asked to do in the hospital and beyond. Get in all your Protein. I have been able to reach my protein goal of 100 grams a day (+/- 5-10 grams) every day but two since my second day home from surgery. Get at least 64 oz of Fluid a day (this has been more of a challenge for me). Exercise as much as you safely can. Learn as much as you can as you go through this process. Ask lots of questions, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Use every resource available to you: NUT, psychologist/therapist, support group, OA, etc. that you need. Don't listen to anyone who says you can't do it or that you are taking the easy way out. Fortunately, I don't have anyone in my life who is unsupportive. Although not everyone understands what I am going through they do care. Best of luck with your surgery. It will be here before you know it. -
Hello everyone , I have been looking into the sleeve and it seems to be the right choice. I am wanting to ask people what is the advantages and disadvantages of having the surgery. My insurance requires 6 months with a dietician, nutrionist, and physc evaluation (barely passed that lol) , clearance from pcp, clearance from surgeon.. I have completed almost everything except the 6 months dietician i will be done with that the end of this month. Then the dreaded wait from insurance. As time is getting closer i am getting nervous if i am making the right decision? I am a 30 year old mother of 3, married, and have been very over weight for years. Like many others have tried different ways of trying to lose weight, since going to dietician I have already lost 45 lbs. If i could please get some responces on the benefits and disadvantages that would be great. Also what impact does it have on your spouse? As time gets closer I have found my spouse to be very unsupportive. Any advise ?
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It's about to start
Swampdoggie replied to NoMoreFatGuy's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Good for you. Jeez, its tough enough to be overweight and working on a change without having family be unsupportive. I congratulate you on taking the steps to get healthy in spite of them. Perhaps when they see its no picnic, and how great your health becomes after, they'll do a 180. In the meantime, get support here from informed, knowledgeable people who get it. -
Have Surgery Date, SCARED
Leannie replied to dawnsunshine35's topic in Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story
Dawnsunshine, I didn't tell anyone except my husband, mom and 3 friends that I was having surgery and I made them all keep quiet. When I make a decision, nobody is going to change my mind. Especially something I've wanted so bad for so long. I didn't want anyone saying unsupportive things that would make me worry. So what THEY don't know won't hurt ME! The next time someone says that somebody died from having that surgery, ask them how many people die in car/ airplane/ pedestrian accidents? Do they stop going places because they could potentially get killed? Probably not. Do what you have to do to be happy and you won't regret it. -
So I'm in my 6th month of supervised diet with my pcp required for wls. I started out at 380 which has been my hw, and I managed to get down to 363. I was so proud of myself. Well I got put in a boot for 6wks and couldn't do anything. And with that I let diet slip and started with the cokes again and junk food. Ever since I go my boot off tho I've been telling myself I'm gonna start over tomorrow and get back on track, I haven't been able to kick the cravings or to keep my will power in check these last couple weeks. I don't know how to get back on track, my mom suggested that I start drinking Meal Replacement shakes twice a day and then eating dinner. She said the shakes helped her cut the cravings. I've found some with 30g of Protein. Anyway, anyone else have will power issues? Or issues with unsupportive spouses? He always seems to sabotage me, I've asked him to keep his junk food at work as well as sodas but it hasn't helped. Ugh just completely frustrated right now. Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using the BariatricPal App
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Breastfeeding after Post-Op
Sosewsue61 replied to SpecialK2's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
I second what @rachelzf said. I am a staunch supporter of breastfeeding. She is correct that there is STILL a lot of misinformation regarding breastfeeding and you have to be your own advocate. Physicians are not educated, shoot I have seen unsupportive staff in NICU even. You might want to contact a local La Leche League for help. I am a retired leader and they may have resources for pumps, scales, and literature regarding meds and anesthetic in breastmilk. -
If I didn't have problems with my PCP, It would have only took about 2 months. I believe I was approved in June. My surgery is August 6th. But, it really does depend on your insurance. If you have an unsupportive PCP, it can take longer.
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The sleeve will help you learn to eat less. I dont believe his points are valid, infact he sounds very negative and unsupportive. This is your life and you only get to live it once! I hope you follow your heart and get your weight off regardless of his input. I was fortunate to have a very supportive husband. Neither he nor I thought the sleeve would be effective for me because 1. I was extremely over weight since a toddler and 2. because every diet I have ever been on resulted in me gaining more weight. In 6 months I have lost over 70lbs. It seems surreal! I haven't over come my food addictions. Its a constant battle. If you were able to over come them on your own you wouldn't need surgery! The sleeve has affected my life in ways I would have never imagined. I am working on my goals and dreams. I didn't value myself enough to do this before. The decrease in my joint pain is unbelievable. For the first time ever I was able to climb rocks on the beach and tide pool with my 6 year old, never thought I'd have the energy or strength to do that! I know I went on a bit of a tangent but there is so much of life we miss out on being severly obese and there are so many wonderful things that begin happening as the weight comes off. It makes me sad when I hear that family arn't supportive.
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So, many of you know my dilemma with my unsupportive husband. Well, he told me last night that he took off work (gasp!) Monday and Tuesday to take me and pick me up from my surgery!! Miracles do happen!!! He is not happy about it and that is fine with me, it just shows that he does not want me to go it alone and I am shocked. Monday is 2 days away! Wish me luck, I'll keep you updated!
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No, have not experienced it because I don't discuss with anyone but my husband and my mother. But yes, what you're experiencing is common. People are sometimes really, really stupid. Tell someone you're pregnant, you'll hear horrific labor stories, tell someone you're getting married, hear about how so-and-so and her new husband were out thousands of dollars when the event planner ran off with all their wedding money and the bride's uncle got so drunk at the reception that he threw up on the dance floor and started a fight... it's called human nature. I have no idea why people think it's a good idea to tell horror stories about something that you just announced you're doing. But for some reason, more often than not, this bullpucky is what spews out when sharing good news. So I'd honestly just shut them down - if they start telling you a horrible thing happened, or how their cousin's hairdresser's best friend had the same thing done and they now weigh 1,300 pounds and have to live in the bathtub... I'd give them a dead cold stare and say "Wow, that is a horrible thing to say. I have no idea why you would tell me that, other than to make me feel bad and question my choices. I guess we don't have anything to talk about." And then walk away. And also - if this is a friend, call them for being rude and unsupportive and drop them if they don't apologize for being stupid. You don't need negative Nellies in your life.
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What are your "getting back on track" basics?
jordantaylor posted a topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I'm having a bit of a miserable morning. I'm just under 4 weeks out and, in the midst of trying to have a social life, I messed up with food at a restaurant. Don't even ask why I thought I could eat something out at this stage! My friends are being really quite unsupportive, which I didn't think would happen. I need to get back on track, it's the only way I'll feel better!! What are your "go-to" guidelines for getting back in the swing of things? Share em all! -
I'm not telling a soul. The only people who know are my medical team and the wonderful people here on this forum. Adjusting to my new lifestyle will be difficult enough. I don't want to also go through the emotional turmoil of dealing with unsupportive people and their unwelcome opinions. Will things change a year or two down the road? I don't know, but I'll cross that bridge if or when I feel the need to open up.
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I have a feeling that anyone who would be unsupportive about this decision also would have found a way to be unsupportive or nasty about losing weight with a traditional method. So screw 'em.
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Who Are You Telling
shangefan replied to Look@meitsEmily's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Iegal, I agree with you. I am not necessarily worried about negative comments or unsupportive folks. I simply don't wish for my health issues to be a topic of conversation. What people say when I am not around is up to them; I am sure some folks talk about me already. But just as I wouldn't be inclinded to talk about other medical procedures, neither am I inclined to do so with this. Might that change at some point? Perhaps. But until then, I am completly satisfied to tape my mouth shut (tee hee) as it relates to this. -
I have my very supportive husband and my supportive younger brother. My middle brother is not supportive at all. You just need to go on a diet and not eat so much he says. Like he really knows. Not! I have read a lot of posts about of the subject of who to tell. Many people including myself are telling very few people. Some tell none. On these boards you can tell all what is in your heart of hearts and what is on your mind. Everyone is so great here. It's amazing how many unsupportive people are out their. I mean family and friends etc. I do hope you have at least one supportive person. But in the end remember we are doing this for ourselves. I have my surgical consult and my psych eval today and I'm looking forward to having that behind me. I will post tonight and let eveyone know how it went. Good luck in your journey. Remember here you are amoung friends.
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No support, Traveling to Mexico, alone...
akapadster replied to Marie1120's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I've had to deal with my mother being unsupportive, so I totally understand! My best friend had surgery at Tijuana Bariatrics 5 months ago and she has done GREAT! She is my inspiration for doing this! People tend to think it's crazy to go to Mexico, but it's not like we are going to a tent on a dirt road with docs that are holding rusty knives They are hospitals that are very clean and the staff all speak English. An RN on the support group forum I use on FB said it was cleaner than the hospital she works at here in the US! In the end, it's your body and your choice. I have told my mother that my obesity and diabetes is far more dangerous for me than having this surgery. She hasn't said another word about it since I said that. Stay strong and know that you have lots of support from people like myself! My surgery is in 29 days Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App -
I have thought about getting bariatric surgery for a very long time.. over 10 years. Now that I've finally gotten my husband Ok with it, and I have made my consultation appt, my sister and mother are now really coming out as unsupportive about it! I'm really shocked. My sister is my best friend and she almost seems angry that I've made this decision.. Anyone else have experience?
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Hello all! I’m Heather and new to this forum but not new to the process. I have spent the last two years going literally through hell trying to have my sleeve surgery. I went through two separate programs only to be denied x2 with letters written by PCP and surgeons for final appeal, by my insurance company because I am obese with no Comorbidities. It has been a roller coaster of emotions and let downs. Last year I married my boyfriend of 7 years and had decided I was going to just be a cash patient and have my surgery in Mexico. My husband was very unsupportive and freaked me out so bad that 4 weeks prior to my surgery I decided to cancel. My husband isn’t overweight and one of those who believe that if I worked countless hours in the gym that I would “be skinny” and thinks that I’m cheating or trying to be lazy by having the surgery. He just doesn’t understand. I recently was diagnosed with RA and after speaking with my RA Dr. I decided that I was finally going to stop letting people discourage me from having this surgery, including my husband, and finally try to take control of my health and do this for myself and my babies. I once again will be a cash patient. I found a surgeon in my area that will accept all of my paperwork from the previous programs that I tried. I have my appointment with him on May 15. I have saved up most of the money for the required payment. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this will finally Work out in my favor! I will need all the support I can get!
