Search the Community

Thank you for your post.. a breath of fresh air! I'm also 1 month post op and feeling pretty amazing. Like you no more pain in my back, my knees don't hurt and I don't walk down stairs like a toddler. I'm 28lb down and was really concerned at the start that I wasn't losing enough weight. But everyones body is different and this is my journey, so I'm trying not to compare against others and just follow the guidance of my dietitian. I got annoyed with myself yesterday cause I ate a choc biscuit 🍪. I'm still on puréed food and don't even know why I ate it but I'm not going to beat myself up about it just try not to do it again. I want this to work for so many reasons so I just need to focus on those x. Well done on your 37lbs!! Good luck for tomorrow x

Welcome to your first stall. They usually occur around week three but can start before or after that. They usually last 1-3 weeks. (There are lots of usually, often, averages, common, etc. after surgery.) While this time when the scale doesn’t move, is frustrating & can be depressing, it is an important part of your weight loss. It’s when your body takes stock of the changes that are occurring (weight loss, dietary changes, etc.) & reassess its needs in regards to metabolic rate, digestive hormones, and so on. The stress of your surgery can also impact this first stall. (Yes I said first as you’ll likely experience more of them.) The stall will break when your body is ready to move forward again. You can’t force a stall to stop. Best advice used stick to your plan & don’t stress your body more by making changes to your diet & activity other than those your plan wants. Take some body measurements. While the scale doesn’t move, you may notice changes in a tape measure or in your clothing.

Thanks so much for responding. I spoke with the nutritionists as well which she made me feel so much better too. She told me not to worry about what I did bc everyone in the beginning is learning as it is a brand new way of life we're adjusting to so I did feel better about that. It's been a week now and I been on track. So I am looking at your weight loss tracker. You started around the same weight as me and as of now you're 228 lbs, is that right? That's amazing! That gives me hope. ❤️

Welcome!!! I gained two pounds over the holidays, but then lost it. I've been gaining the same 2-4 lbs for the past month, it is a little annoying. LOL

Great post!! I remember reading your original post. I'm glad things have worked out so well! I'm sorry it hasn't resolved the diabetes. I had the duodenal switch primarily to deal with my diabetes and so far, so good! Unfortunately the gastric sleeve doesn't have the same metabolic effects that the bypass and switch do which comes from altering the small intestines and for some reason seems to put a lot of diabetes into remission. But some get lucky with the weight loss and dietary changes alone putting it into remission! It sucks your wife isn't one of those. I love that you found a way to really show up and support her. My partner is showing up to support me and it really means the world to me! These are hard changes to go through as an individual, even harder when you have another person (or a whole family) along for the ride... Priorities change. Relationships with food and our bodies change. That can't help but impact those around us. I'm glad it has made you two stronger than ever, and made you even more devoted to celebrating the beauty that she is. Props to you for leaning in and meeting those challenges together! I'm sure there are a lot of spouses that could benefit from reading your before and after posts!

Hello All- i posted for the first time just about three years ago with some anxieties as a spouse with my wife prepping to undergo the gastric sleeve. I originally noted being concerned about our lifestyle changes, relationship impacts (I had heard all the horror stories) and most of all health concerns into the future. The community was incredibly supportive and I had learned tips and useful knowledge that helped me coach and support my wife through it. I am happy to say we are better than we ever have been and her self confidence is through the roof. However the MAIN reason the surgery ever was even considered was to get her diabetes that started while she was pregnant with our first child and got very concerning bad with our fourth has still stuck around and caused issues….. First- this is Life changing not just for the partner getting the surgery, but the spouse too. We used to be foodies and that all had to go out the door. Same with alcohol. Two bites and you are full, a pint and you are drunk. So activities, dates, etc. and new hobbies should all be prepared for well in advance. Luckily we are both athletes and coaches and this allowed to have an outlet that wasn’t our prior foodies and beer/ brewery culture pastime. Two- Relationship, anyone who tells you that this leads to automatic divorce/ break up is paranoid or lying. Out of her support group offered by our health network, I think only 1 or 2 of about fifteen women ended up separating and that was from the other spouse cheating. I have to say that in many ways, after four kids and all our activities, youth sports and coaching- it created a second honeymoon period for us and really strengthened our romance and relationship because we both focused on our health again jointly and the magnetism increased dramatically. Third- It might not fix the problem…. We did not jointly go into the surgery for cosmetic or weight loss reasons. It was the diabetes and the doctors said it was a solid shot to cure or mitigate the disease. It was for a while, but it keeps back up. despite healthy eating, despite exercise and coaching, despite the surgery- medications came back into the picture and so did the celebrity weight loss drug (which is really supposed to be for diabetes…) This has been keeping everything under control but is a case of the cure being as bad as the sickness. The side effects are brutal and definitely have a quality of life impact, but we both want to live to see grandkids someday….. Fourth- dysmorphia is VERY really. We are both naturally larger people. I was a lineman in high school and college and she was a softball catcher in high school and college and ended up also playing women’s rugby there as well. Even with the surgery she went from an XL to L but she got her college/ high school figure back and as such her confidence went through the roof and started dressing like she hadn’t in years. With the medication though??? Her figure, face shape, everything changed. Down to a Small or Medium. For almost a year and a half she hasn’t recognized herself in the mirror. It’s a double wham with the surgery and the medication. Between her best friends and myself (we have all been in the same friend/ team group since college) the support was to have fun with it and go with the flow. Instead of worrying about it (the dysmorphia) it was embrace the change. All new clothes she could never wear before, she’s been a redhead now and then blonde and still is. Cut her hair shorter, started wearing makeup (never really did)- all just to try and put a positive spin on it. I’ve been the spoiled recipient of having a brand new girl (don’t think I haven’t romanced and spoiled the you-know-what out of her), but at the end of the day it’s been mitigation of all the life changes. The last part has been the most detailed because it’s the most recent and to me has been the most impactful- NOT having the surgery do its intended purpose and the dysmorphia we’re both very difficult given the efforts and life changes made. We’ve done everything we can to make lemonade out of those lemons though. We had an anniversary vacation better than our honeymoon this past summer (she has always been way out of my league and these days it’s very much over the top- I feel incredibly spoiled) and we have made time to ride our bikes together with our oldest babysitting the kids and we come to each others games when we coach. I would tell any spouse; husband or wife of someone who is going to have the surgery and then or also do all the meds: 1. Support. It’s a huge deal and you need to show up. 2. Don’t get insecure about your relationship because of the surgery. If you are worried it means you might not have a great relationship to start with…. 3. You will need to change your life too. Because of my size and my weight lifting, I need a lot of protein and calories. I will never look like a Hollywood star (like she now does) and always an NFL lineman- BUT- if I bring a cannoli, pie or a full growler into the house in addition to steak/ salmon, etc it’s teasing and not fair. You will need to learn self control to support your spouse… 4. Inspire and come up with ideas for positive re-enforcement. If the dysmorphia or depression sets in, you need to find fun things to do, supportive steps to take and positive angles to keep things going. 5. If you are doing all this as a spouse, what about YOU??? Are you going to die a martyr? Take care of YOURSELF too. I go lifting 3 times a week, go fishing in season. And for my 40th birthday when she asked what I wanted?? I got us a long weekend on the Cape, bought her some dresses I wanted to see her in and sent her to get her hair, nails, toes, eyelashes, etc.. done. Said I wanted a long weekend with my movie star wife. It was a great time, kid free and continued to strengthen our marriage. Anyways- why am I writing this? Posterity? Self reflection? Not really…. I just want to give Spouses a roadmap. It’s a huge change and you need to navigate the waters well. If you do you will benefit as much as your loved one. Good luck.

Do not have a date yet but getting closer feeling nervous but excited too. I actually gained weight over the holidays 😬 anyone else?

I had surgery on December 4. I rapidly lost about 13 pounds. Since my appointment on the 19th I’ve only lost an additional 4 pounds. I’ve been drinking more water add I’m still on soft foods. Is this normal or not? I’ve also been utilizing my treadmill and weights three times a week.

Happy to have you!!! I have been overweight most of my life, my first diet was at 12 with Weight Watchers because mom kept telling me that If I lost 20lbs I would be so pretty (it was never about health). My dad would tell me that I would never have a boyfriend because I was fat or I would struggle with acceptance because of my weight. I did not have my first relationship until I was 20 because of my self poor image ( I was about 240lbs at this point). Ended up marrying him and he was the most emotionally, verbally, sexually, physically and mentally abusive human being. We moved across the country and that's when the abuse got worse. He would degrade me and tell me no on would want me because I was disgusting and he had to imagine other women while we were intimate. We ended up having a daughter together and she was the best thing that's ever happened to me, but after 10 long years I left with my daughter when she was 18months! When I finally left I was 325lbs. Since then It opened me to a whole new world opened up for me and my daughter. I was able to focus on just us and my health was something that I needed to control- I started working out, eating right and got down to 240lbs met the love of my life and now I have happy weight. He is the best thing that has every happened to my daughter and I. Her bio-dad is not in her life, and we ended up having a son together and I shot back up to 297lbs. After some health scares with my family I decided WLS is the way to go!! I am set to have the Sleeve on the 24th!

Hey there, That’s awesome! Doing this journey going from not eating carbs and then reintroducing them as needed is key. I’ve lost weight, but it comes in stages. I’ll lose inches first, then the scale will be stuck. Then all of sudden the following month, boom, ten pounds gone. I was weighing daily then weekly and now I weigh every other week. Protein is vital.

Hello all. I'm 11 years out from my bypass and lost 150 lbs. I maintained 135 pounds surgeon wanted 125) up until COVID where I gained 10 pounds. I was able to get an overstitch last November and dropped back down. In the past 2 months I've gained 6 pounds and I am unable to figure out what's different now. I'm holding steady, but the body contouring is on hold until I get back down. Any suggestions? Thoughts? Thank you.

So glad you're here! There is so much idiocy in the medical community regarding weight and weight loss. Doctors literally know 95% of people cannot physically lose more than a small amount of their weight and keep it off, but they act like everyone can except you and they can't figure out why you're not doing it. Imagine if they told diabetics they couldn't have insulin until they used their willpower to lower their blood sugar on their own, just to prove they take it seriously. As for your ex partner, I hope on your behalf that certain parts of his anatomy shrivel up and fall off. You deserve better, no matter what weight you are at. It's hard not to internalize that kind of abuse, but remind yourself as often as you need to that he's garbage and did you a favor by taking himself out.

I am outwardly fierce and confident. No one but my doctor, since high school has ever dared to mention my weight. I would deck them. Now they just say wow you look good, your new hair style suits you or think my husband has a mistress. There is loads of Exorcist head turning going on when we go out together. What they are saying behind my back has not as yet been heard by me. I am a big believer in Karma. What goes around always comes around with a heavy hammer.

**Trigger warning: domestic abuse** My name is Georgia, I am 27, and I have been 'bigger' for my entire adult life, and a lot of my childhood too. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) insulin resistant type, and an Underactive Thyroid, both of which cause me to put on weight quickly, retain weight, and makes losing weight extremely difficult. I can't even remember the countless amounts of fad diets I have been on, or the amount of times I have tried to lose weight, but failed again and again. When I was 18 I was going to the gym 5-6 times a week for over an hour, I was doing HIIT training and Tai Chi, and I was jogging, eating well etc, but I still only managed to lose 2 stone in a year - make it make sense! I didn't know back then that I had underlying conditions that made it hard for me to lose weight, so I internalised a lot of the guilt in not being able to get healthy, and it resulted in me putting on around 6 stone from then until now. I was also a victim of domestic abuse/violence, and a lot of the verbal abuse that I suffered was centred around my weight - constantly being told by my ex-partner that I was fat, he would pinch my thighs, tummy, arms etc, telling me he was seeing how many inches I could lose. It completely broke me, and I started binge eating in secret. He ended up leaving me, telling me that he could no longer be with me due to my weight and how it made me sexually unattractive. I think I am probably just over 20 stone now. My back hurts when I walk, I cannot look in any mirrors without feeling low, I don't feel comfortable going out in public, and I am exhausted all the time. Every time I went to my GP about something, I was always told I needed to lose weight, as if it were a miracle cure and so simple to do just by trying hard enough. It was always blamed on me not putting in enough effort - and those in the UK will know that the NHS isn't a simple thing to navigate and the waiting lists for obesity support are long and often disheartening. Around 2 years ago I was put on a waiting list for weight loss management with the NHS. I was finally accepted in September of 2023. This is a year long commitment to the weight loss management pathway (Tier 3), in which you have to lose 5% of your weight in order to then be put on to another waiting list for a referral for the actual WLS (Tier 4). I have been told that this can take a further 4-6 years. I had a harrowing thought that by the time my WLS actually came around, I'd be well into my 30s, still desperately unhappy with myself, and I would have put on even more weight and probably be immobile. I can no longer do this to myself. I deserve better. I made the decision to look into private weight loss surgery, and I had a free consultation with a recommended surgeon just before Christmas 2023. This was genuinely the first time that a medical professional sat me down and talked to me with some humanity about my weight. He told me that with my conditions (particularly the insulin resistance, and hormonal imbalance), that my metabolic rate needed an entire reset, and this was not possible to do without surgical intervention. He explained that the difficulties I have had in trying to lose weight and being unable to, are not my fault (though of course I accept responsibility that getting here in the first place is my fault), and that surgery is recommended as perhaps the only thing that will enable me to lose the weight. I have never felt so seen, and so heard. I booked in my surgery for May 2024 there and then. So, now I start my journey, and I was looking for support, and here I am. I look forward to posting on here and using this thread to update everyone once I have had my surgery! I am quite an open and honest person, so if anyone wants to reach out to talk, my inbox is open

I haven't had my surgery yet, but honestly some of the things I am most looking forward to are these: being able to have most bath towels (especially ones at hotels) fit around me with no gaps. being able to wear my partner's clothes. not having to use my own weight as a way to get momentum to get off of a sofa. to be able to walk up a flight of stairs, or even just alongside my friends when we are walking without feeling out of breath and sweaty! Reading everyone's NSV's has been really encouraging. I can't wait to have my own!

It's one of the best feelings in the world for me too. I bought myself one of those big fluffy one size robes a few years ago and couldn't even close it in front. I saved it along with a bunch of other clothes "just in case" I ever lost the weight and now I'm swimming in it. I'm also looking forward to swimming at the lake this summer and trying my hand at kayaking. I haven't got in the water for years. I usually sit in the boat and watch everyone else. That's gonna change Congrat's on your success @JFreeman

We had a company function in December and I was the talk of the event. I didn't go last year so this was the first time a lot of people saw me since the WLS. I could tell that people were talking about me and many of them came over to say hi and ask me how I managed to lose the weight. I guess everyone had "lose weight" in their 2024 resolutions. I gave them the "eating healthy and cycling" answer and even showed them photos of my mountain bike. A lot of them reminded me of how huge I was before and that they were really concerned etc. This was the first time I'm hearing these comments which I assume were always made behind my back. Then they started talking the same about other people who need to lose weight calling them fat and make jokes about them. I was not amused and couldn't help it but telling them to stop. People can be really mean. You don't know what those people are going through and was struggles and problems do they have. Just because you are skinny doesn't make you a better person. Have you had a similar experience?

Dr gave me Allopurinol that I took for 3 months. My last blood check was good, so he had me stop taking it. I haven't had gout before, but this weight loss is bringing it out.

Hi Wellington and thanks for the reply. So what did your weight get down to at the lowest point? Also, did you try not to lose so much weight or was the surgery choice (SADI) just that effective in losing the weight no matter what you did along the way? I still have time to decide against having the SADI and just going with the sleeve but still undecided.....

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and a successful journey to better health. On March 1, 2023 before heading to the airport traveling to Piedras Negras, Mexico for my scheduled March 3rd VSG with Dr. Alvarez at Endobariatric; I logged my weight and recorded my measurements. I have kept a running spreadsheet, updating the stats the 1st of every month. Ten months later, I am down 75 pounds and fitting comfortably in a size 6. I am not finished. I had set my goal at 112 which in reality is too thin for me but I wanted to allow for the common 5 to 7 pound regain from the lowest weight, hopefully settling in the 117 to 118 range. I have not had one moment's regret. This is the greatest gift I have given myself and look forward to a healthier and more active 2024.

That’s so awesome wow you’re droppin the weight ! Im down to 224 was 240 day of my surgery on 12/18. We’ll see how my month plays out happy restin and loosing :)!

Hello All, Long time a member but have been away a long time. I was banded in April 2012 at 488lbs. My lowest weight attained was 170. I have since over the years climbed back up to 328. Monday, Jan 8th I am scheduled for a conversion to bypass. Removing my band as well as my gallbladder. Any advice would be appreciated. It's been 10 years. I imagine somethings have changed while some haven't. I know it's a tool. I know the weight doesn't fall off overnight. The band saved my life. I hope bypass gets me back on track. Thanks, Jim.

Hi all how are my 12/27 and 12/28 buddies doing? Had my surgery 12/28. Doing well. Pain is here and there. But down to 198 as of this morning. Highest weight before liquids was 217 🎉. Small wins!!

Scroll down to near the bottom of this screen & you’ll see the Together We Have Lost section. Your starting weight should be there & then simply add your current weight & click Update Your Weight. It will show on your next post.

Try some 70% or greater cocoa dark chocolate. Just one square a night and that morning wood might come back. Works for me. ;) And for original thread - yup losing weight does wonders for sex life. My wife loves the slender me and it’s added enhancements.