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Dealing With Negative Comments
Bypass2Freedom replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Thank you for your comment. It's definitely the phrase "not having the willpower" that cuts the deepest if I'm honest. It's as if all the struggles I've had during my life with my weight weren't enough! Surgery isn't the easy way out, I know that and I've not even had mine yet. Its absolutely life-altering, and as you say, takes willpower in itself to stick to it afterwards! I will keep the surgery to myself for the most part, it was just such an unexpected comment! -
Dealing With Negative Comments
BigSue replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma on WLS. This is why I haven't told anyone except medical professionals about my surgery. Not even my parents or siblings, and definitely not coworkers or friends. So, my strategy for dealing with negative comments is to avoid the subject entirely. You know what's best for yourself and what they think is irrelevant. If, however, you want to respond to them, maybe you can educate them on what WLS really entails. People who are ignorant look at it as the "easy way out" or cheating in some way because they have no idea how intense the whole process is. The comment about not having the willpower to do it yourself is ridiculous to anyone who has been through it, because taking the initiative and putting forth the effort to go through with it takes a heck of a lot of strength and courage. And even with the help of the surgery as a tool, it still takes a lot of willpower to stick with your program, lose the weight, and keep it off. -
I take a couple of medications that are not weight related, one being adhd medication. Does anyone know about the absorption difference after gastric sleeve. I am in school to get my law degree and I cannot afford to have my medication to stop working.
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Dealing With Negative Comments
Bypass2Freedom replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Oh I'm sure I live rent free in lots of people's heads just because I'm a bigger girl 🤣 The 'logic' of some of these people never fails to astound me. I think at the end of the day, people are always going to have something to say, but their opinions have 0 impact on my life! I just know for sure that when I'm losing weight, there will be something else they have to say! Thank you for your words of wisdom! -
The dreaded "Week 3 Stall". It's normal, and I'm just coming out of it myself (plus a 6lb regain that I just re-lost). I've had several others tell me that the stall will last 2-4 weeks, so just weigh yourself weekly instead of daily to prevent worrying over it as much. Just stick to the diet plan and you'll resume losing weight. The weight loss won't be a straight line, expect it to be more like stair steps with a loss, then a flat line for a bit with a slight regain, before it drops again. I've also heard there's typically a second stall around the 3 month mark that lasts 2-4 weeks as well, so just prepare for that as being normal, and stick to the plan. Best of luck to you!
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Dealing With Negative Comments
BigZ replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Exactly why I didn't tell many people beforehand. I think 5 people knew I was having it done, not including my parents. They all found out after, and I still haven't told people (family/friends) that I have had it done, if anyone asks about my weight loss then I will say something. -
Dealing With Negative Comments
SomeBigGuy replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
It's hard when it comes from family members, but I think its inevitable because every family and circle of friends has "that a**h***". If they're the kind of person the judge someone for the weight loss, they were already judging before the weight loss. Take pride in knowing that you live rent free in their head tormenting them As for you, just keep up the good work! People who haven't experienced it don't realize the work that is still required, nor the pain/discomfort that is experienced in the weight loss surgery process. Especially for people who's metabolism is just naturally geared toward not eating much or staying small. To them, they falsely believe that since it is so hard for them to gain weight by forcing themselves to eat more, then you must have voluntarily forced yourself to be overweight. They don't realize how foolish that concept sounds because they've never walked in your shoes. If they don't choose to make the effort to understand, they never will. It is hard brushing it off from people that are close, but as I mentioned earlier about living rent free in others' minds, don't let them dwell in your head. Evict them and go on about your day! -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
SomeBigGuy replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
The Week 3 stall is real! I stalled and gained 6lbs back between weeks 3 and 5, and just now lost it back in the last week. I've had several people tell me weeks 3-6 will generally have a stall and a slight regain due to your body panicking over the rapid weight loss, and readjusting its baseline, so it is part of the process. I've also been told a second stall/regain will occur around the 3-month mark, and last up to 4 weeks, so prepare yourself for that. I'm bracing for that coming up soon. Keep in mind the weight loss won't be like a straight line, more like stair steps with the occasional bump back up before dropping again. Just stick to the diet, and switch to weighting weekly to prevent obsessing over it (like I did haha). Also, several months from now, as you approach your goal weight, remember that gaining muscle through exercise will make the number on the scale go up, but that's a good thing. Muscle weights 1.5x as much as fat, so as you gain it, you will continue burning off fat, which is the "bad weight". About 1 year out, you won't worry as much about the scale, and will celebrate the wins in smaller clothing sizes, more energy, and better endurance/stamina! Regarding the caloric intake, my surgeon and team recommended I keep aiming for 800-1000 calories per day, but I am a 6'1" male, so my base caloric rate may be higher than yours. I would check back with your doctor or nutritionist to be sure, but I think 1200 is closer to the target after 1 year. Also prioritize water and protein first, followed by unsaturated fats, then try for any carbs/sweets/starches/breads and saturated fats last. My plan has me targeting less than 50g of carbohydrates per day, not low enough for keto, but enough to keep the sugar cravings and fat retention down. You may need to check your macros as well. Best of luck to you on your journey! -
Dealing With Negative Comments
NickelChip replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
The reason, I think, that average weight people feel they can say what they want to obese people is that being thinner gives them a false sense of superiority. If they believe we are fat because we are lazy and gluttonous, then it stands to reason they are virtuous because they are thin. Because they lost a whole 3lbs of extra weight that one time by skipping dessert for a few days, you should not eat a slice of birthday cake at the party today, even though they are telling you this while eating a slice of birthday cake. It's okay for them to eat it because they know a single slice of cake won't have much impact on their weight. But it's not okay for you, because it makes you fat, and you have no willpower if you want to eat some on a special occasion. Unlike them, because they totally have willpower, because they are thin. They're still eating the cake, but they wouldn't if they were like you, they're very certain of that, and that makes them feel very good about themselves. And yet they don't think through to the logical conclusion that if the cake is okay for them but not for you, maybe that means their body is different from yours, and that actually, it's a lot harder for you, that losing 3 lbs is not the same as losing 30 or 100, and you might require a different approach (and they should keep their mouth shut). Also, given that she's your boyfriend's family, definitely follow Tek's advice on what to say instead of mine. But you can still think it loudly at her. -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
BabySpoons replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Forcing yourself to eat to meet a suggested calorie count sounds very problematic. Reminds me of the days of eating past the point of being full which led to weight gain and our need for WLS. Hmmm.... Mindful conscious eating is key to success. Listen to your body. Stop eating before you get full and stay away from the scale. GL to you!!! -
I'M TERRIFIED AND NEED GUIDANCE
AmberFL replied to Vanessa Correal's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Girl! I could've written this myself!!!! My life is insane, I work full time, am in school full time, and have 3 children. I am 266lbs and 5'9 now. When I started my journey I was 297 and my highest weight was 325 at one point in my life. I have always been told the same, that I look good, I don't need to lose the weight or I can do it myself. I do not have any health issues but you know who does? My mom, brother who is only 27, my grandma. All high blood pressure, diabetes, unable to have the surgeries they need because they need to lose weight. I refuse to allow myself get to that point. I have been doing Weight Watchers on and off since I was 12yrs old, I have gotten down to 210 and I looked and felt amazing. All of your fears are the ones I fear as well, but the outcome? being a HEALTHIER me for myself, children and husband. We deserve the best version of me! I have thought about how I will most likely get treated differently being thinner, I even confessed to my psych that I know being smaller will help me find a job easier once I graduate. He actually agreed. Its so unfortunate in our society but life is just easier for those who are thinner. I hate saying that out loud but its true. So choose your hard- WLS and losing the weight once and for all? OR stay on the path of yo yo dieting, and just hope you don't get those health issues? I chose my hard- WLS and lose my weight so I can be healthier and active for me and my family! I am having surgery on Jan 24th! Day after my birthday! -
People are starting to tell me how fat I was before WLS
BigZ replied to omrhsn's topic in Rants & Raves
I have had more friends/family tell me now that they were worried for my health etc etc. Of course only a couple close friends told me they were concerned before I started losing weight. It is what it is, fat jokes etc don't bother me, I made them when I was at my heaviest. I know people talked behind my back, it is human nature. -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
NCL04321 replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I agree 1200 calories seems like way too many at week 2! That many calories is usually once you are in maintenance. I agree with others, when your weight gets "stuck" get off the scale and stick to the plan. It can be very discouraging when you dont see the scale move and then it does a mental number on us. It makes us think why did i do this and give up all the things i used to love to eat if the scale is not going to move. That could lead to going back to old ways of eating. You do want to make sure you are eating enough though so you dont put yourself into starvation mode. If you arent eating enough, your body will hold onto what it can. As long as you are measuring yourself monthly and you see inches going down, you are on the right track. When i get stuck i stay off the scale for awhile. Do you have a nutritionist? if not i would consider getting one. They know more about food than the surgeon. -
Dealing With Negative Comments
Bypass2Freedom replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Haha! I love this comment. Honestly, if she weren't my boyfriend's family, I would have used all manners of vulgar language as a response! I don't know why people just see fat people as easy targets, as if it is their right to inform them that 1) they are indeed fat, 2) they are lazy, but also 3) they should lose weight, but only in a socially acceptable way. Makes my blood boil! -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
The Greater Fool replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Get off your scale. Follow your plan. If you follow your plan you will lose weight and you will succeed. You don't need a scale to succeed. But because of a number on a scale you are asking if you should change your plan. This is how scales can screw you up. There is more happening in your body than what you eat. You just had surgery with all sorts of fluids and drugs pumped into you, then you started effectively starving yourself (per plan). You're body will respond in all sorts of weird ways to get back to a normal that it will likely never achieve. It will eventually arrive at a new normal, very soon. Good luck, Tek -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
SleeveToBypass2023 replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Definitely sounds like a stall. Some people don't gain during the stall, they just sit at their current weight during it. Me? I gain. And by gain, I mean anywhere from 3-5 pounds. It's infuriating. Then I lose and gain the same 2-3 pounds over and over until one day I get on the scale and see that I lost 5-6 pounds. That's when I know the stall broke. It's going to happen, a lot. So start focusing on your NSVs (Non Scale Victories). Those tell the story of what your body is actually doing better than the scale can. -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
Saxons replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I had my gastric sleeve done in 2018, so have a few years experience. I couldn't eat anything for at least 4 weeks post op, and then it was a tiny teaspoon of mush at each meal. It took me hours to get through a protein shake of 300ml. By the time I finished the breakfast one, it was time to start the lunchtime one! And so on to dinner... 1200 calories seems huge to me at 3 weeks. I was struggling to drink enough water at that point. My tummy was so tiny. Even if I drank too much water, I would vomit, because my stomach was too small to cope. I still suffer that vomiting if I am too ambitious with my portions. I wouldn't be able to even get through 1200 cal now, unless maybe I went on a strict no carb, high protein plan. Even then it would be a struggle. High protein foods are SO filling. I love fish and seafood, but I can hardly eat 2 tbs of grilled salmon at a meal even 6 years out. I lost 90 pounds in 6 months, luckily no skin looseness... very fortunate. I have slowed my weight loss and then plateaued at 120 lbs loss. If I was you, I would go back to your protein drinks, and go from there. -
Dealing With Negative Comments
catwoman7 replied to Bypass2Freedom's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
this is the main reason I didn't tell very many people about my surgery until I was several months post-op - and even then, it was usually just to other obese people who wondered how I lost so much weight (because all of us who've been there know that "diet and exercise" just isn't a permanent solution for most of us). Sorry you have to deal with her insensitive comment. People can be so rude!! -
Almost 3 weeks PO and gaining?
catwoman7 replied to sarahrob218's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
sounds like the infamous "three-week stall" that most of us experience (our first major stall - and the first of what could be many). Best way to deal with it is to stick to your clinic's eating plan and stay off the scale. Stalls usually last 1-3 weeks. They're aggravating, but they're a normal part of weight loss. It's just your body stopping to recalibrate once in awhile. 1200 calories seems like a lot for being so early out - I didn't hit that until I was more like a year out - but your surgeon may have his reasons for that, and I'm no medical professional. if you want to learn more about the stall, there are literally over 17,000 posts on it on this site. Just do a search on "three week stall". I am NOT kidding about the 17,000+ posts. It happens to almost everyone. -
I had vsg surgery on 12/19/23 I lost about 12lbs during the first week and a half but since week two hit I've been seeing the scale not move at all, my inches on my waist was going down so I was to upset. Then I had my post op visit with my surgeon and He told me that I wasn't eating enough, He said that I was losing too much weight and I had told him that the scale hasn't even moved for the past week. But he expected me to hit about 1200 calories a day where I've been eating me 400 or 500. He had said that I should add a couple of snacks in to my meals throughout the day. So three meals a day plus two snacks at least. And it's been a struggle but I've done that and I've been eating around 800 calories a day. Maybe 9:00 but now I'm gaining weight so I'm just unsure of what to do. Should I keep going at this? 800 calorie 900 trying to achieve 1200 so soon after surgery or should I just stick with my four or 500? It seems like so much food for 3 weeks post-op. Also, just so it's clear, I'm pretty much clearer to eat anything I want now just to use discretion when choosing my foods. I am hitting All of my protein and water goals. But I was before when I was getting 400 calories or 500 a day.
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I'M TERRIFIED AND NEED GUIDANCE
Bypass2Freedom replied to Vanessa Correal's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
Hello Just on this here - surgery is a very personal decision for each person, and my reasons for surgery may not match yours, and that is okay! Surgery would not be recommended or even proceeded with by a surgeon unless it were something that would benefit your health, regardless as to whether or not you're happy with yourself (and it is amazing that you are, we should all love ourselves regardless of our weight!). I'd say that you are better off talking to your GP/surgeon again, be open and honest about your concerns and get some professional advice. Surgery is a big step and it is a life-changing decision, so you need to be sure that it is what you want to do. I am due to have my surgery in May this year, and it is something I used to be so against 2 years ago! But, I know that this is what I need to do for my health and my wellbeing. -
39 178 pounds. Terrible time gaining weight... Any advise.
ChunkCat replied to Zaxarooey's topic in Duodenal Switch Surgery Forum
If you had a DS you are thought to absorb about 20% of the fat you eat, 60% of the protein you eat, and 100% of the carbs you eat. Your doctor should have explained this to you... The intestines can adapt some to the surgery over time, but most studies have shown DS patients continue to have malabsorption. That's the whole point of the surgery! In rare cases, there is a small number of patients who will lose more weight than they intend, or have excessive muscle wasting. The muscle wasting is normally due to not eating enough protein post surgery. A DS patient needs around 120 grams of protein a day, more if they workout trying to gain muscle. Are you taking your vitamins? Have you had your labs checked recently? In the case of someone who has lost more weight than they intended to with a DS, certain enzymes can be given to help them absorb more of the food they eat, or a surgical revision can be done to lengthen their common channel, giving them more length of small intestines to absorb calories from. Of the two, I'd try the enzymes first. If you gained up to 240 with the enzymes, clearly they were effective for you! So why not consider taking them on an alternating schedule, titrating the dose to slowly gain what you need, and then taper off of them and see if you can maintain?? If you want to do this with food you are probably looking at over 4,000 calories a day. That is going to be tough. You can only eat so much food in a day! DS patients usually don't count calories at all, we count macros because it is the macros that help us stay in our target range, since no one really knows exactly how many calories an individual with a DS surgery is going to absorb, we can only ballpark it. But you should be getting a LOT of protein and around 120-150 grams of fat, according to vets who have lived with this surgery for decades. To bulk, most people I know load up on carbs, which is not easy for a DS person unless you want to spend a lot of time in the bathroom, or you are lucky enough to actually tolerate a decent amount of carbs. But carbs will usually put weight on. If you want more people with DS to talk to, check the bariatricfacts.org forums. We are mostly DS people over there and most of the regular posters are vets. But be prepared, they are fans of straight talk and not everyone likes that! -
August 2023 Surgery Buddies!
tynisha replied to kayhay0714's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
I’m still losing, haven’t hit goal weight yet but I’ve started having sugars again since the holidays. Need to reset hard! My appetite has increased as well. But not a whole lot. -
39 178 pounds. Terrible time gaining weight... Any advise.
Richard Hayes replied to Zaxarooey's topic in Duodenal Switch Surgery Forum
I kinda agree with this one get with a gastric dr and nutritionists, honestly what your asking most on here are not in that ballpark your in. Once my weight was off was not trying to get it back as of muscle light working out has done fine for me not trying to get ripped or anything, I think having a DS kinda kills that plan or makes it almost impossible. -
August 2023 Surgery Buddies!
Shan0 replied to kayhay0714's topic in PRE-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
Hit goal a few days ago, but now I’m worried about the “bounce” that people talk about, so I’m going to keep on for another 20lb. And I actually wonder if I’ll ever be able to STOP losing weight, since I eat so few calories. Still in the 700 range most days. How is everyone else doing?
