karlenekarma

Today is Sunday like most Sunday-eves of many diets over the past 12 years.  Some I sustained for 3-5 months, but most I fell off the wagon within a month.  I've been at this size before so it's nothing new for me.  I held on to some of my size 24 clothing that were on the pricier side to fit within a professional wardrobe ... "just in case."  And I packed my size 16's away hopefully to pull out again sometime in the Spring.  My story is most likely not all that unique.  I had an active childhood as being part of the fabric of my family.  My mom never put emphasis on our weight or to "exercise" to stay slim because we never had to worry about it.  I got out on my own at 18 and picked up bad habits: relaxing/lounging too much, sleeping in both weekend-days, and the worst: EMOTIONAL EATING.  For most of my 20's and into my early 30's I was a single mother of 2 sons.  I used food as my crutch as I suffered many setbacks ... most of which were of my own accord.About my mid-30's I started to change internally.  Emotionally I was getting healthier as I put security in my life by keeping toxic-folks away.  My career is soaring and I graduated from college.  My sons are young adults and go out of their way to include me in their activities.  And here I am 41 years old with many opportunities, and the body I'm in doesn't match.  I think twice before I accept an invitation from my sons:  can I keep up with them and their friends walking the golf course?  Can I get out of tube that we're floating down the river in despite this speed-bump for a stomach (or maybe a roadblock).  And work!  I find a reason to not participate on teams that travel internationally simply because I don't want to overflow into the person's seat next to me on a plane.  Let alone, hauling my luggage around, walking distances to get to our hotel. I've heard some of our customer sites I'd be require to hop 4-5 flights of stairs.  CRAP!  I can't even do one flight of stairs. And Hell? When will be the next time I'll be in India or China or Europe.  I want to do some SITE SEEING!   So this time, I'm taking drastic measures and getting the lapband. I don't have the time to fall of the wagon anymore.  Extreme? Perhaps.  I could do low-carbs like I have in the past and was quite successful.  But honestly, I want something to adjust with me as the wagon starts to teter.  Just to make sure that no wheels fall off.This Friday is my surgery.  It will mark the beginning of the next phase of my life.  A promotion, embarking on empty-nesters, rekindling my marriage (my husband gets his band on 11/19), and next Spring realizing a 12-year-dream:  riding a roller-coaster again as I cruise around Six Flags with our sons.