armywife79

I have always struggled with my weight as long as I can remember. I was the girl who was ALWAYS on a diet and failing miserably and hating myself for not doing better and of course, looking better. By the age of 23, I was already divorced, had three children and weighed in at a very sexy 215 lbs. By this time I was engaged to my husband aka: the most wonderful man in the world! and wanted so badly to loose the weight so I could look pretty for him and be able to live a more active lifestyle with him. I tried and failed many times wasting both time and LOTS of money in the process. My husband, being the amazing guy he is, always supported any effort I made and never ever spoke a harsh word when I would eventually give up. He always made it a point to remind me daily that in his eyes, I was the most beautiful woman in the wide world! As I write those words down, I am tearing up because, I know how hard it must have been for him to watch me just get bigger and more unhealthy year after year. Especially since my husband is in the ARMY and is in AMAZING shape but, he never made me feel inferior or lazy even though he worked so hard on his body and health. By the time my youngest turned seven years old, I was at my all time highest weight 264! That was the same year my little sister was getting married in NY and I was going to be her maid of honor. I was so happy to be asked to play such a big part of her special day but, DREADED having to wear my blue maid of honor dress! Not only that but, most of my close family members had not seen me in a few years and I was considerably larger than the last time they had seen me. I was not looking forward to watching my thin amazingly beautiful aunts and sister struggle to keep their true thoughts about how my dress would look off their faces. That coupled with the thought of having this embarrassment immortalized in pictures made me depressed beyond words! The wedding turned out to be a beautiful day and I was so happy to be a part of it despite feeling self concious. Then about a month later, my sister put together a wedding album and mailed it to me. When I finally worked up the nerve to take a look, I almost fell off my chair! I didn't even recognize myself, I was really an obese person and could no longer pretend it was not so bad, it was right there in my face in full color! I don't think I have EVER been so depressed about my weight before. About two months later, I was sitting in my surgeons office ready to begin my long journey to freedom from all this pain I had been carrying around for so long. I have had my band about six months now and have lost about 50 lbs. I have had my ups and downs with the band and some very hard days struggling with my food demons but, all in all, I have been so grateful to have been afforded this opportunity. The band has given me the opportunity for a life of health and renewed self esteem. It has given my husband and children the comfort of knowing that my life will be (god willing) a long and healthy one. I am grateful for all of these things but, above all this surgery and the amazing doctor who preformed it have given me something I have not felt in many years and that is HOPE. I now have hope that permanent and positive change is possible for me! It is an amazing feeling and one that I hold onto when I stumble and make mistakes. I remember how far I've come and that the weight loss finish line is completely within my reach now! I have a way to go yet but, I am trying to take each day as they come and enjoy the ride because after all as John Lennon once said "Life is what happens to you while your busy making other plans." I look forward to meeting my goal someday soon and living a healthy active life for ever more! Best wishes to all my comrades in arms out there, fighting the good fight against obesity and winning a little everyday! I'm with you in spirit all the way! x