cassie1978

Hi thereMy name is Cassie.  Im 32 years old.  I have been above average size for the whole of my life.  I was even a big baby (9lb).  How have I come to this point??  Well although school was not an unhappy time for me - my self esteem did take a battering from names, being excluded from some things and being judged on what I looked like, not who I am.  I will admit I have worked harder on my personality than some people.  I am considered kind, friendly, happy and funny - kind of what big people are considered to be right???...well no inside I have not always been like that, but it has been easier to mask it than to do something about the emotional pain I sometimes felt.  I have been on diets, exercise programmes etc since I was five - why would you do that to a child, I dont know.  Anyway, I have been successful academically getting degrees in Zoology and Anthropology and then a postgrad diploma in secondary teaching.  I also did a certificate in Fitness Management, maybe with one day having hopes of using what I learnt to be fit and slim.  I have worked as a teacher for nearly nine years and love it.  I thought I would have to contend with more name calling but while there is there the odd incident (which as an adult I handle better) I am seen differently than when I was at high school.  I got married in my late 20's, managed to lose 20 kilos for the wedding and felt great using weight watchers, but then it came back on, and a year later I lost the same 20 kilos.  I have now put most of that back on.  I have tried a mixture of weight loss techniques - WW, hypnosis, calorie counting, pills, exercise etc.  They all have some success but not long term.  I still work out and am probably fitter than some smaller people.  My hormones are now out of whack and I have not been successful in becoming pregnant to date.  Being told I may not have children broke my heart.I was told last year, that to shift the amount of weight I need to lose, I should consider surgery.  This would have positive follow on effects including possibly restoring my hormones and hopefully my fertility.  So I need to do this for me, so I can live the life I want, and live a long life with my husband, and dogs.  We have decided to pursue adoption, but if I can concieve naturally, thats a bonus!So now Im being selfish.  I need to stop doing things for others for a while and do something positive for myself!I went to the information seminar - I thought they were talking to me personally.  After years of struggle, I believe this is the right choice.  I now pre op assessment next week, followed by a surgeon consult and sessions with a counsellor, nurse and dietician.  I cannot wait to find out my surgery date.....Im so excited for the future and what it has to bring :)