jdarrwest

Its been a while snce I've been here. I am looking for some neutral advice. I think I'm on the verge of leaving my husband. I am sick to death of the arguing, bickering, accusations, etc. Contrary to popular belief, this did not start after my surgery, its been going on for some time. I thought loosing weight would change things but it really hasn't. My husband is a hard working man. He does not go to clubs or bars. He's home every night. He doesn't hang out with other guys and drink and because of those things he thinks he's husband of the year. He does zero to help out around the house (also 7 horses), zero with our daughter and zero with me (unless he wants sex). I can't remember the last time we said we loved each other. I have such resentment for things he's done and said over the years. For my b-day I got forks and spoons and for Christmas I got a gun safe. If I leave I know he will swear I have been having an affair which he told me that he knows I've done so 6 other times which is completely untrue. I'm worried of what he will tell our daughter in an effort to turn her against me. I dread starting over and sometimes just go with the flow because the thought of packing things up and moving out seem so drastic. I think I have done all I can do. ANy great suggestions? I thought one day the light bulb would go off in his head because I do love him but it has just gotten to the point that I can't take it anymore. Tired of being accused of screwing people. Tired of his smart ass mouth. There is much more to this story but I didn't want to bore anyone. I will say that he has never hit me but is very good at verbal abuse..though he doesn't see it that way.....I swear he is bipolar because he is a total ass one minute and nice the next. Any great advice from you guys out there?

Thanks you for all your encouragement. Unfortunately, I have suggested counseling several times which he says he won't go because he knows I will just find someone who will side with me and even though I suggest he find someone himself, he won't. My daughter is six years old and she gets to hear him constantly accuse me of affairs and downing me. I tell her that I don't ever want her to think its okay to be talked to that way and I insist my husband not talk infront of her thant way. I wonder if it really is love anymore or just so use to this life I'm scared of change. I've stayed this long because I want to know I've tried everything to save this marriage but I'm to the point I don't care anymore. THanks again for your kind words!

A few months ago I posted a thread concerning my sleep study. I did both of them and have just gone for a follow-up last week. I won't even go into how ticked off I got for having to wait 2 hours only to find out they didn't have any of my readings. What I did want to say is that when she did finally look them over she called to tell me that although my apnea was considered "moderate servere" she did not feel like I needed to use the CPAP machine. She said my weight loss has been extremely good and at the rate I was going she didn't feel like they could keep the pressures adjusted since part of its based on weight. She basically wants me to keep her posted on my weight loss and she feels that once I level off, my apnea should be minimal. Of course she wants me to do another sleep study when I reach goal but I doubt I will. She had me do all this testing when I kept saying, "If I loose weight, won't that make a big difference" and she kept saying "Oh no...no" Funny how she's changed that tune. She said if everyone lost weight like she ordered her sleep center would have to close...so what does that tell you? I know everyone has different situations and I am only posting mine. I know some people have great results with the CPAP however for me, I was not looking forward to it. Hope everyone is well!! Jodi :whoo:

Please don't let something like this discourage you. I am currently going through the hair loss phase. It's not real fun to have but I'm handling it. I have (well...had) thick hair. I don't have bald spots or anything, you can just tell when you grab it in a ponytail. Dr. says to up the protein and I do believe my body is still adjusting. I see it like this...hair will grow back..being overweight can kill you......

DollyRose.. I can totally relate to that. Last time I went trail riding I felt like my jeans were cutting me in half and any time we got up any speed my back fat (sorry for the visual) would bounce and it hurt. Only horse people can relate to this dream I have and that is to get on my saddle and there be some space between my gut and the saddle horn.

Hi Mary! You into minis too? I'd love to see some pics of them. I only have one but he lives the life of a KING! Maybe we can exchange notes!

Well..for me I probably did a no-no and got on one of mine about 1 week after surgery. I was showing him to a lady who wanted to buy him and didn't really have a problems. I didn't stay on long but when I went to my Dr. last Tuesday (2 days out from being 2 weeks post-op) I asked if I could ride and he said yes but not to be lifting the saddle. Basically I haven't had much time since then to try again. But everyone is different!!!! I was back to feeding and watering in a week (which horse people know is tuff) but please don't expect the same. Your body will tell you what you can and can't do! Good luck and I'd love to talk horses sometime!!!

I had my sugery on a Thursday and went back to work on Monday. I work in an office so it wasn't too bad. I was one of those lucky people who didn't have any problems after surgery, but everyone is different. Good luck

I felt the same way. My sleep study was a surprise and I was soooo tested out by the time I had to do it. Don't give up! ITs all worth it in the long run! Good luck!

Well. I made it through. It really wasn't too bad for me. The mask wasn't too bad. It was one that just covered my nose and I think the electrodes in my head bothered me more than the mask. I was able to sleep on my side no problem. So now I guess I wait to hear from the home health peeps. One goodie though, I had to weigh again for them and I lost another 3 lbs!! yipee!!!

I started a thred early on regarding sleep apnea. I never had a clue I had it till the pulm. dr had me take a sleep study. Imagine my surprise when they said I had moderate apnea. Although I couldn't believe it, when I started ready up on it it actually made sense. I do not have a CPAP machine yet. I actually go tonight for my 2nd sleep study where I get to wear the dreaded mask. I'm anxious to see what difference it makes. Just one question, when you sleep with the mask, do you have to sleep on your back or is there no problem with side sleeping? I'm a side and stomach sleeper.

Hello Tina~ I am also 1 week post-op today. I must say the worse for me wasn't the first few days but these last two. Gas-X strips were a God-send post op and really helped move my gas pains along. I also did alot of walking. What got me was that I went back to work this past monday and broth and Jello just DO NOT give you much energy. The first day was okay but by Tuesday and Wednesday I felt like I was dragging BADLY!:faint: I hate broth and will never ever ever drink it again if I don't have to. I know most people take off a week which I would certainly recommend (I just don't have that luxury) but take it as easy as you can. Today I started full liquids and my Tomato Soup this morning was the BOMB. Never thought it could taste so good. Also started my Vitamins and Protein. I have also realized that most of the time when I felt hungry it was in my brain and not in my stomach. Just listen to your body and do as your Doctor says. Each day will get better and better! Jodi

1 week from today at this time I should be through with my surgery and asking myself why the hell I did this. I have certainly had the last supper syndrome. I made a list of places a few weeks ago and have carefully and straticially hit each and everyone of them. Luckily not all at the same time. I spaced it out and worked out to try and balance things out. My Dr told me NOT to do the last supper thing but hey, the way I see it-Easier said than done. Just one more stop Saturday, The Olive Garden and I will have completed my task!:hungry: I know I'm bad bad bad but it sure tasted good good good!!

Well, after all the whining and complaining, I found out yesterday that I DO have moderate sleep apnea. :notagree I could not believe it! They want another sleep study with the CPAP to see how it does but I won't be able to do it before surgery which shouldn't matter (I asked). Just goes to show how much I really know about myself!!! I also have that restless leg syndrome thing...anyone else? I kinda knew that one but they said there are some meds you can take for it. So class what have we learned? Do all the test and smile, you may learn something you never knew!! Have a great day! Jodi

I am again frustrated today. I went to follow-up with the pulminary Dr to go over my test. Said they all looked good. Asked me if I snored, I said no. Asked me if I wake up gasping, I said no. Asked if I had heartburn often at night, I said no. But when I go to leave she tells me she wants me to do a sleep study. Like I need one more thing to do. Anyone else had this happen? I am suppose to have surgery April 26th and now I'm worried this will mess things up!

Just keeping up to date with everyone! I FINALLY finished my last test yesterday!!! Now I just wait till the 26th!!! Oh Boy oh Boy

OK Ok...thank goodness its over. I was able to get squeezed in for a sleep study Sunday night. How in the heck do they expect you to sleep? I had wires coming everywhere! I typically sleep on my stomach which was out so needless to say I didn't sleep too well. I also had a blood-gas test done. They stick your wrist. I had to get stuck in both and they had to dig around a bit before they found the arterty. OUCH! As I suspected, no apnea...just another test. I have my cardiologist appointment today and I hope and pray this is it for awhile. I am sick to death of test! Do cancer patients have this many test?

Hey everyone! Just thought I'd go ahead and throw my name inthe hat. I am scheduled for surgery April 26th too!! Very very excited!!

Thanks ofr the support. I was beginning to think "they" were trying to make me give up. You know you just get tired of jumping hoops and standing on your head.:faint:

congratulations!!!! I have 2 more test to go before I can get a surgery date but I am so excited. I know you are looking forward to your new life! Hope to join you on the looser's bench soon!!!

Finally got approval! I was kinda sweating it. I had such hang-ups early on but I got it!!! Just have a few test to finish and I'm on my way to the loosers bench!!!!!:clap2:

I do not have a date yet. Guess I'll get that after my cardiologist visit. I'm very excited. The worrying you do whule you wait is terrible. But now its like a load has been lifted off my shoulders! Thanks for all your support!

update...my last thyroid test was ten months ago.....just my luck...going tomorrow to get stuck a few times. Then I guess they will tell me I have to stand on my head and bark like a dog for 5 hours...lol

Me again, just wanted to report my next hoop I have to jump through. FINALLY got my Dr records sent in and everything was sent into BCBSNC. Got an email from Dr. Moran's office saying the insurance comp wanted blood work done before they'd review it all which contradicts what their policy requires. So I called BCBS and spent 45 minutes trying to get someone to explain this to me. I finally got a nurse who told me how I can avoid additional test if I've had one done inthe last 9 mths. She was very nice but I my point is that these insurance comp put all these requiements on you but mine has already said if I don't get approved for surgery I will be responsilbe for the pre-op test anyways. So what do you do? I opted to do just the min. required for auth and then they throw this in. I told her if they guarantee coverage for the testing even if I get declined I do every test today but they won't do that. Sucks....

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I have yet to be banded but I know how it feels to have the wind knocked out of your sails. Stay Postivie!!